Speaker 1: Hi, yes, Hi, come in short, but just hurry. I
Speaker 1: can't find Bowen. What where is he? I don't know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I thought, hurry. I I think I think I think
Speaker 1: that there's rats. There's rats all around, okay, but there's
Speaker 1: rats screwing around in the entire building. Specifically, there are guys.
Speaker 1: I went by your house to pull up. I've been
Speaker 1: shooting the rats in the building all day. Why you
Speaker 1: left your apartment because no one was at your apartment.
Speaker 1: I've been in the building all night, shooting these rats
Speaker 1: to death. Firearm, always over a firearm. We both own guns.
Speaker 1: You gotta get a gun. There are amazing shooting rangers
Speaker 1: in Burbank. You have to go well, get a gun.
Speaker 1: I will. This place is a fested with rats. Can
Speaker 1: I get your welcome? That would be nice? Thank you? Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's what I just my mom. I need
Speaker 1: to start cleaning up the dead rat carcasses and the
Speaker 1: blood on the walls. And can we just relax first,
Speaker 1: have a red bull? Okay, sugar free. Just chill. It
Speaker 1: seems counterintuitive to relax and have a red bill. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, you don't know what. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be held in insubordination again, So I will drink my
Speaker 1: red bill mildly put it mildly to call it insubordination. Guys,
Speaker 1: I'm real, I'm gonna lightly sit my bread bull this time.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to gulp it. Okay, that's fine, as
Speaker 1: long as you drink it and relax. And there's just
Speaker 1: been there's all sort of infesting creatures around. I can, can,
Speaker 1: I can? I can? I be honest? Always were your
Speaker 1: best friends. Don't ever order a hickory for arms cheese
Speaker 1: basket again that you should order me? Who who? Who?
Speaker 1: Does those pairs David something Harry and David Harry and
Speaker 1: David instead that might have led to the rest infants stations.
Speaker 1: And also that falafel that we we never we never
Speaker 1: took We never took it out because we were so
Speaker 1: excited about how successful the series was that we got
Speaker 1: sidetracked and never took the I think our fault. But
Speaker 1: this is what I want to say, in my honesty,
Speaker 1: I don't know how much longer I could do this.
Speaker 1: The office is falling apart, there's rats everywhere, there's blood
Speaker 1: on the walls. Okay, Well, to further what you're saying,
Speaker 1: I took. I took such a wild swing with this
Speaker 1: next one. Yeah. We were actually given the note um
Speaker 1: to keep it up by the trades. So I hope,
Speaker 1: even if it's a big swing, I hope it's good. Better,
Speaker 1: be better, be good, keep up in all caps caps
Speaker 1: from the trades. Hollywood reporter said, all caps, keep it up,
Speaker 1: and they never say that. Are we talking variety? We're
Speaker 1: talking variety. We're talking all the trades. Angelino Magazine, the
Speaker 1: stuff they put in hotels, We're talking Emmy magazine. Even
Speaker 1: Emmy Magazine is weighing in. I saw I was on
Speaker 1: a commuter flight from Buffalo two um, Syracuse. Why that's
Speaker 1: a short flight. None of your business? Okay, how to
Speaker 1: make a delivery for someone? All right? Whose name will
Speaker 1: not be because anyway they're very close. Of course, we
Speaker 1: got a great mention from the in flight American Airlines magazine,
Speaker 1: commuter flight. That's what I'm trying to say. That's huge.
Speaker 1: That's even bigger than trades. Will you do? So you've
Speaker 1: earned this big swing? Now? What is it? All right?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel as adventurous as I'm feeling if it
Speaker 1: wasn't handled by this person. Okay, who tell Us Smallwood,
Speaker 1: Sarah Smallwood Parsons like very James Bond Smallwood Sarah Sarah Parsons,
Speaker 1: Sarah Smaller Parsons talent. She has created a wonderful little
Speaker 1: show on the Surface with Bethelsda. Listen to this. Bethelsda
Speaker 1: is a huge worm like creature that lives at the
Speaker 1: bottom of a deep muddy hole. Tries to make sense
Speaker 1: of the disgusting world above with the help from human
Speaker 1: experts and her sidekick, a cool teen that fell down
Speaker 1: her muddy hole. Join in as they just gus on
Speaker 1: the surface with Bethel's This is a really big swing.
Speaker 1: But I will say Sarah Smallwood Parsons who for those
Speaker 1: of you who don't know in this room in my office,
Speaker 1: She's a queer, redheaded cat mom who roller blades and
Speaker 1: co host the show Characters Welcome in the City of
Speaker 1: New York. She was a new face at the Juster
Speaker 1: Lass Festival. Very prestigious, a resident at above average and
Speaker 1: a soprano in college a cappella group. Unfortunately sopranos happy
Speaker 1: the highest high sopranos happy. Yeah, what's the highest note
Speaker 1: you can hit? The G flat? What is the G Flatly? Gee? Oh,
Speaker 1: he went right to g flat. There is that flat?
Speaker 1: He walked right up to flat. You have to sort
Speaker 1: of you know the trick. He's amazing technique. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: don't look at my eyes. Let's just still work. Is
Speaker 1: it supposed to make you cry? I don't know how
Speaker 1: to feel, but I guess that's music and art to comfort.
Speaker 1: It's been a long day. It's been a long day.
Speaker 1: There rats everywhere. You're covered, and you're covered in blood.
Speaker 1: It's not just this this office that's infested. We got
Speaker 1: this creature on the surface with that's now perfect. Behold.
Speaker 1: I am Bethelzda, a giant worm like creature that lives
Speaker 1: at the bottom of a muddy hole. And this is
Speaker 1: my podcast on the Surface, where I try to make
Speaker 1: sense of the world above with help from human experts
Speaker 1: and my sidekick, a cool team that fell down my
Speaker 1: whole cool teen say something I missed the sun. We'll
Speaker 1: get used to a pal. Today's topic drag. What is it?
Speaker 1: Where is it? Is it contagious? Hopefully we'll find out
Speaker 1: from our guests. Up first, from his podcast, Secure the Gag,
Speaker 1: Nathan Pierson. Nathan, thanks for being here, well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for having me. This is my first worm cast. Wow,
Speaker 1: well this is my second human related cash so you're
Speaker 1: in good company. And from the podcast Middle Children, please welcome.
Speaker 1: Chris Burns a k a. Fat Carry Bradshaw. Chris, how
Speaker 1: are you? I'm I'm so well. Bethezda, I want to say, um,
Speaker 1: is that a Bethesda? It's Bethelzda and I am offended
Speaker 1: Bethelsda with an hell, oh got it? Thank you. It
Speaker 1: won't happen again. Bethesda's where I go for Thanksgiving with
Speaker 1: my Yeah. I have some friends from the Potomac area
Speaker 1: as well. Chris Nathan, this is uh. I know I
Speaker 1: intrude them, but this is cool teen. They're a scene
Speaker 1: that fell down into my hole. Who tells me that
Speaker 1: they were very very cool on the surface. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: unbelievably cool. You wouldn't freaking believe how cool I freaking
Speaker 1: was up there, man, Really, what part of the surface
Speaker 1: were you from? I listen. I was from the suburbs
Speaker 1: and I was freaking cool. Man. I ran that called
Speaker 1: the sack up and down. Oh. If you wanted a
Speaker 1: girl's number, I had it. If you wanted a video game,
Speaker 1: I would get it out of the library. I was
Speaker 1: so freaking cool man. Well suburbs called the sack words.
Speaker 1: I don't understand. You're not missing much. You're not missing much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the coolest kids get video games from the library. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's certified true. You know what I'm learning already and
Speaker 1: I can't wait till learn more. So today's topic is dragged. Now,
Speaker 1: when I think of drag, I think of what I
Speaker 1: do with my big, slimy body when I need to
Speaker 1: get to the other side of the whole me too.
Speaker 1: Oh perfect, So is that how you would define drag
Speaker 1: as well? Not in so many words, I guess. I
Speaker 1: mean sometimes, yes, that is how I would describe drag,
Speaker 1: But I think the general term would be kind of
Speaker 1: dressing or performing in a traditional woman style, traditional woman style. Now, Nathan,
Speaker 1: would you agree with that, Yeah, I would, I would agree.
Speaker 1: I would add to it that broadly, it's the performance
Speaker 1: of gender. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, the world up there obsessed
Speaker 1: with gender famously. Um, you know, we don't have gender
Speaker 1: down here. We all just identify as big old mud freaks.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's how I identify myself. Actually, oh my god, perfect, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I forget that. You don't get sarcasm as
Speaker 1: a worm. Oh okay, yeah, no, famously, I am a worm.
Speaker 1: My is the size of a sesame seed. Joe, you know,
Speaker 1: dumb it down for me. Um, okay, well great, um
Speaker 1: let's see. So, Chris, you sometimes are what's called a
Speaker 1: drag queen. Now, is that like a queen insect where
Speaker 1: the drag queen spends every day like relaxing while the
Speaker 1: regular drags pleasure her and bring her gifts. Well that's
Speaker 1: the hope, but um, not quite currently in my life,
Speaker 1: I'm one of I guess, a worker queen, and then
Speaker 1: the big drag queens just generally that would just be
Speaker 1: like uh, I guess, like a royal person or like
Speaker 1: a very famous person. So maybe someday, um, I'll be
Speaker 1: at the level where other drag queens will mill about
Speaker 1: for me like a Rue Paul level would be other
Speaker 1: drag queens do all the work for her god a
Speaker 1: god at Rue Paul. That's definitely someone I definitely know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. That's basically are you
Speaker 1: familiar with like bees? Yes, so I guess it would
Speaker 1: be like similar to a queen bee, and then the
Speaker 1: other drag queens are like worker bees, Chris, have you
Speaker 1: talked to a worm before? Because you're really explaining this stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The dating apps up here are riddled with them, absolutely
Speaker 1: dating apps. I'm gonna have to I've heard slightly about daily.
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to have some other experts in
Speaker 1: on that. Now. Nathan, let's go over to you. You
Speaker 1: work for a show called drag Race. Yeah. Yes, Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I'm very unfamiliar with human sports. All I know is
Speaker 1: mud clout. I'm sure you've played mud clot Can you
Speaker 1: explain drag Race? Yeah? Yeah, Chris mentioned RuPaul, who is
Speaker 1: the most famous I would say drag queen of our
Speaker 1: time right now. So, imagine a queen bee in a
Speaker 1: hive had a reality competition show where other queen bees
Speaker 1: competed to be the best queen bee in a variety
Speaker 1: of challenges. That's not like a very chaotic hive. Chaotic hive,
Speaker 1: but there's a prize at the end too, And I
Speaker 1: feel like there's probably a prize in the hive. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're familiar. I mean, I do love a prize,
Speaker 1: you know what. I gotta be honest, I'm still kind
Speaker 1: of lost. So why don't we just hop into our
Speaker 1: first segment that I call what in the mud? Is this? Alright?
Speaker 1: So here's how it works. Okay, I'm gonna present you
Speaker 1: with a series of words related to drag. I've been
Speaker 1: told these are related to drag. I will take a
Speaker 1: guess at what they mean, and then you'll correct me
Speaker 1: if needed. Cool, cool, perfect, Okay, great? So first up, Okay,
Speaker 1: we've got lips sink Um. Okay, I'm gonna say this
Speaker 1: is when you pass out, face down after a long
Speaker 1: game of mud clot and your lips sink into the mud?
Speaker 1: Am I close? Um? Not that close, to be honest,
Speaker 1: No mud clot is involved, unfortunately, Well depending if you
Speaker 1: get creative enough, I guess maybe it could. So what
Speaker 1: is the sinking of the lips? Uh? Do you have
Speaker 1: music down there? Oh? Yeah, definitely, we got a band
Speaker 1: down here. My favorite band a dung beetle that pushes
Speaker 1: a little ball with a bell in it. It's pretty good.
Speaker 1: It's very rhythmic. It's definitely very constant and incessant. That's
Speaker 1: what I'll say about the dung beetle with the bell.
Speaker 1: Cool teen, you'd rather listen to? Who's that artist your
Speaker 1: obsessed with? Eminem? Eminem? What year did you fall down
Speaker 1: the whole manch just a few months ago, and they're
Speaker 1: allowed to leave as soon as they get me out
Speaker 1: of this hole. Anyway, let's move on to this next
Speaker 1: vocab word, death drop. Okay, great, we're on topic. This one,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure is what happened to cool teen when
Speaker 1: they were walking and texting in the woods, except unfortunately
Speaker 1: they survived. Is that right, cool Teine. That's how you
Speaker 1: fell down here. That's how I fell on here. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I would say unfortunately I survived, but
Speaker 1: I definitely, Uh, that's what I was doing. I was
Speaker 1: looking at my phone. I wasn't paying attention, just like
Speaker 1: my parents always said. And next thing I knew, Oh,
Speaker 1: I was thunking hard into you at the bottom of
Speaker 1: this whole parente. I wish I had those Let's kick
Speaker 1: it to Nathan. Nathan, is that what a death drop
Speaker 1: is or how would you define it? Yeah? Do you dance?
Speaker 1: I've been known to, you know, flap my two ins
Speaker 1: together from time to time, but human dancing I'm not
Speaker 1: super familiar with. Yeah, so at death drop is a
Speaker 1: is a move? Is a dance move? Okay? Popularized in
Speaker 1: the ball scene. But we don't have to get into that,
Speaker 1: but it's a very popular choreographed dance move that drag
Speaker 1: queens do where they just kind of drop dead, like
Speaker 1: they look like they kind of just like lose everything
Speaker 1: in their body, just fall down into like a split.
Speaker 1: You'd be great at this. Oh yeah, I would just
Speaker 1: reenact what happened when I fell on here, But I
Speaker 1: will say, um, I am good at what is famously
Speaker 1: the coolest move to do it a school dance, and
Speaker 1: you'd like this. It's called the worm. Okay, to sounds defensive,
Speaker 1: but go ahead and describe it to me. Well, I
Speaker 1: would just kind of, you know, undulate my body on
Speaker 1: the grounds over and over, kind of like a worm,
Speaker 1: and then all the ladies would flock to my sides
Speaker 1: because it's famously very cool. Al Right, that does seem
Speaker 1: exactly like what I do, so I guess I can't
Speaker 1: be offected by that. No ladies down here, though, No,
Speaker 1: some day one'll fall in, one can hope. All right,
Speaker 1: let's move on to this next road. Gab word, this
Speaker 1: is a mouthful or a butt full, because sometimes I
Speaker 1: can't tell my mouth from my butt. Uh eleganza. Weirdly,
Speaker 1: that's my sister's name. She's a regular sized worm, kind
Speaker 1: of the favorite of the family. You know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about as a middle child there Christmas? Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course Eleganza. Is this a name? It can be. I
Speaker 1: guess anything can be a name. The interesting thing is
Speaker 1: when you ask for a definition of something like Eleganza,
Speaker 1: it's hard to um kind of define for me personally,
Speaker 1: I agree, it's one of the you know, when you
Speaker 1: see it, it's it's it's it's it's script or with
Speaker 1: positive connotation. Okay, would you say my whole is Eleganza?
Speaker 1: I have to see it first. Uh, you're here, dumb, dumb.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Oh, your whole, in the whole, I'm
Speaker 1: in your asshole. I'm in your asshole. Thank you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess I should be more specific about what whole
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Hold their end, But we gotta know
Speaker 1: which one it is. Ohs are in good to know.
Speaker 1: Let's let's get on over to this next volt cab
Speaker 1: woord this one. Okay, So this is camp, which I
Speaker 1: believe is where bless you. Wow. Let me explain. Sometimes
Speaker 1: if I wiggle around too much, air gets trapped in
Speaker 1: my body and it will sort of come out. I
Speaker 1: don't know if humans do anything like that, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I know the same thing happens to me. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Perfect well I planned that that wasn't an accident alright,
Speaker 1: So camp okay, No, I believe this is where cool
Speaker 1: teen ran away from right before they fell in my hole.
Speaker 1: Why did you run away from camp again? Coutine? Oh yeah, well,
Speaker 1: you know it's a complicated story because we were sitting
Speaker 1: around the bonfire and telling scary stories and one of
Speaker 1: the more loser kids at the camp got a little
Speaker 1: scared and pete in their pants. So naturally, as one
Speaker 1: of the cooler kids, I went off into the woods
Speaker 1: looking for another pair of pants for this poor kid.
Speaker 1: So I do have to interject, where were you buying pants?
Speaker 1: We don't sell pants in the woods up here. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Well, that's why I was looking at my phone.
Speaker 1: I was looking at the Google maps trying to find
Speaker 1: the TJ Max. Coutine. You said that you went to
Speaker 1: the pants store in the woods. That's what you told me. Oh,
Speaker 1: I must have hit my head when I fell. You
Speaker 1: said it was called TJ Pants. T J Pants, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm confused. Well, there is a TJ Max so so
Speaker 1: maybe that is where he got them. Yeah, well let's
Speaker 1: let's what is camp to humans? Or did I get
Speaker 1: it right? Well, you actually did get the definition of
Speaker 1: the word camp part right. There's different definitions. So I
Speaker 1: can say yes and I'll let Nathan um give I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, I'll let Chris get this one. So like,
Speaker 1: it's also something that you know when you see um.
Speaker 1: For example, I might interpret camp as you being a
Speaker 1: giant worm covered in mud. If you were to show
Speaker 1: up to a red carpet, it would be very camp.
Speaker 1: I'm camp. I am camp. Yeah, it's it's big, it's
Speaker 1: out there, it's different, it's new. Yeah, that's that's it.
Speaker 1: That's it's also like self referential, so like if you
Speaker 1: were known for something and then you did it again
Speaker 1: later and like added some pizzas to it, Like how
Speaker 1: I'm known for trying to escape the whole, but I
Speaker 1: try a different way each time. I always fail. Similar
Speaker 1: yeah over time. Yeah, yeah, if you created that into
Speaker 1: some sort of a design. Okay, we're a confession. Yeah. Interesting,
Speaker 1: Well I famously don't wear clothes because I am a
Speaker 1: big giant worm. Well that's camp. Oh, nudity is camp.
Speaker 1: I'm writing this down nudity. Hold on, I have to
Speaker 1: write it with my basically, yeah, I got it, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: but also has the right via mouse because the whole
Speaker 1: no arms thing. So I tried butthole once do not
Speaker 1: go well. Let me tell you try again. You have
Speaker 1: to have to try again. There are a lot of
Speaker 1: people who try it once. You have to try it again.
Speaker 1: It feltastic, but it was allegible. It's like coffee. It's
Speaker 1: an acquired taste coffee. I've never tried coffee, alright, got
Speaker 1: down as well. You'd love coffee. You would love coffee
Speaker 1: a little too much. I think that would not bode
Speaker 1: well for me if we had a coffee maker down here.
Speaker 1: You've had coffee. You're a coffee drinker. Cool teen, Oh boy,
Speaker 1: I was always getting a cold brew at dunkin Donuts.
Speaker 1: That's the coolest restaurant. And you know, to be honest,
Speaker 1: I would only drink a few SIPs because after that
Speaker 1: it would start interacting with my HD medication, which you
Speaker 1: know is pretty sick. Oh yeah, you're a d h
Speaker 1: D medication stands for annoying, down and the hole. Help me.
Speaker 1: I'm down in the hole. No, like you know, what
Speaker 1: This isn't a vocab word about drag, So we're gonna
Speaker 1: get back to the drag vocab. Okay, all right, so
Speaker 1: we got this next one. Um okay, busted. Now this
Speaker 1: is what I yell at cool teen when I catch
Speaker 1: them snooping around in my stick collection. Busted It means
Speaker 1: no and drag. Busted is someone who is not put together,
Speaker 1: looks a mess. Someone who's a little bit uh, isn't
Speaker 1: as skilled at the craft of drag, looks like half fast.
Speaker 1: So when cool teen fell down the hole, you probably
Speaker 1: thought that they looked busted. I mean, yeah, they were.
Speaker 1: They had definitely pissent sh it themselves. Then they threw up.
Speaker 1: Then they ate a snack that they had in their pocket,
Speaker 1: immediately threw up again. I said, like, why did don't
Speaker 1: eat the snag? You're gonna throw up? And then I
Speaker 1: threw up. Yeah, all dirt. It was a rough night,
Speaker 1: but we went back and forth throwing up until we
Speaker 1: finally introduced ourselves. Yeah, well, it sounds like you pissed
Speaker 1: your pants before you even got down the hall, so
Speaker 1: that doesn't surprise me. No, I think it was the impact.
Speaker 1: I think it was the impact of the fall pushed
Speaker 1: the piss out pretty sure? Oh, I thought you would
Speaker 1: said that you pissed yourself and you were looking for pants?
Speaker 1: Was someone else pissed themselves and I was looking for
Speaker 1: pants for them as a good samaritan? You know what, listeners,
Speaker 1: do we think the fall pushed the piss out or
Speaker 1: does cool team just pissed themselves all the time? Go ahead,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if we're gonna have a common section.
Speaker 1: To me, it sounds like a little of this, a
Speaker 1: little of that that sounds like a song. We were
Speaker 1: talking about music. Um okay, okay, okay, okay. We only
Speaker 1: got a couple of more ties. Uh oh, This one
Speaker 1: called kicky to me, this is the sound the bird's
Speaker 1: make when they dive down and try to eat me
Speaker 1: and then realized they've made a terrible mistake. They gokay kiki?
Speaker 1: Is that the name that's what it's based off of. Actually,
Speaker 1: kiki is the sound of two like chickens going kikikikikikiki,
Speaker 1: And it's basically like a slang for when two queens
Speaker 1: or gays get together just to like chat, and it
Speaker 1: sounds like kikiing. So you do that one. We need
Speaker 1: a soundboard with a celebratory sound. We'll put it in here.
Speaker 1: This is kind of like a ki ki if you will.
Speaker 1: This is a ki okay, kikiki. We're kicking absolutely. It's
Speaker 1: also a name, so careful, yeah, a popular name on
Speaker 1: the surface, Kiki interesting, all right, don't look out for
Speaker 1: cake each let's see. Oh last one that I have.
Speaker 1: It's just a no tea, no shade story of my
Speaker 1: life and high noon. I got to bury myself from
Speaker 1: the murderos I end up fried and flat and I'll
Speaker 1: probably die. Is that a no tin no shade? I
Speaker 1: don't think I would say no tino hade after explaining
Speaker 1: what I was going to do to not die. No
Speaker 1: tino shade is when you give like an unsolicited opinion.
Speaker 1: I guess would be the best way to describe it.
Speaker 1: If I was like, no tin, no shade, you go ahead.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well, I don't want to be rude. No,
Speaker 1: try to come on. I'm trying to I need human
Speaker 1: experiences here, but like, okay, so um, no tin no shade.
Speaker 1: The best thing about being a worm is being small
Speaker 1: and going unnoticed. So like, you don't have any benefits
Speaker 1: of being a worm out Okay, wait else, young teen,
Speaker 1: I have one for you like no tin, no shade,
Speaker 1: but you could probably bathe because you smell like piss
Speaker 1: and ship. Yeah yeah, that's no tea and no shade
Speaker 1: because I definitely need a bath. We we just have
Speaker 1: to wait for the rain. It's it's an unfortunate situation. Oh,
Speaker 1: no tin, no shade. I like all of you very much.
Speaker 1: Did I do it right? No? No to bad cole Jeane.
Speaker 1: Do you have any you want to throw out? Any
Speaker 1: last woke have words before we move on? Yeah? Um,
Speaker 1: you know this is something my uncle says when he
Speaker 1: doesn't want to play with me anymore. But I'm sure
Speaker 1: he got it from somewhere else, Sasha away, is your uncle?
Speaker 1: Is your uncle homosexual? I don't know. To me, he's
Speaker 1: just an uncle. I haven't really envisioned him as a
Speaker 1: person outside of our relationship. What other kinds of things
Speaker 1: does he say? He says, honey, what, honey? What? I
Speaker 1: like that. I'm gonna write that down. Yeah. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: have a gay uncle and he gives me money. He
Speaker 1: gives me lots of money every holidays. Yeah. Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: you are a cool teen, After all, you have a
Speaker 1: gay uncle who's ritch Wow, I'm learning more about myself
Speaker 1: every day. You know, this is making me think I
Speaker 1: got to explore my sexualitymore. Famishly, worms are amaphroditic, so
Speaker 1: we have both. We have all kinds of organs going on,
Speaker 1: and they're just a mishmash of stuff. Yeah. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I gotta figure out what I'm a trecked to do.
Speaker 1: Is there any other Do you have friends? You know,
Speaker 1: it's like, um, it's pretty much just me and coutine
Speaker 1: down here. You know, I'm so big that I can't
Speaker 1: really tunnel out anymore, So it's kind of kind of
Speaker 1: hard to tunnel in. You know. You know someone's into that,
Speaker 1: someone's into that. You know you'll find someone. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: a lid for every jar, you know, That's what they say.
Speaker 1: It's a nice way to put it. I love that, Cootine.
Speaker 1: Did you have any others before we move on? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, at first I thought this was one of
Speaker 1: Santa's reindeer, but then I don't think it is because
Speaker 1: I listed them out. I do forget many things about
Speaker 1: the service, but I do remember Santa's reindeer. But a bronzer. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't think that is one of Santa's reindeer. Actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not one. It's not one, So what is it?
Speaker 1: Bronze is a makeup used to contour? Yes, contour? What's contouring?
Speaker 1: It's like to make your face look better than it does.
Speaker 1: Ying makes it look like sharper, tighter, snatched, if you will?
Speaker 1: How could I use brner on my long segmented body.
Speaker 1: I'd go for a highlighter maybe instead. Okay. Yeah, contours
Speaker 1: about making shadows. And it's already pretty dark in your hole,
Speaker 1: so I agree. Yeah, we don't have any electricity going
Speaker 1: down here, so you know it's kind of lights out
Speaker 1: at six anyway, any more quoting, those are all mine,
Speaker 1: Those are all my questions. I love that. Let's move
Speaker 1: on to our next segment, okay, which I'm calling drug drug. Okay,
Speaker 1: So here's how it works. Okay, I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: a few scenarios written by us and our listeners, okay,
Speaker 1: and you two are gonna tell us whether it's drag
Speaker 1: or not drag. Okay. I think this might help me
Speaker 1: grasp drag a little more. Alright, So this first one
Speaker 1: is putting on a share costume and lip sinking lips chicken,
Speaker 1: do you believe in life after love? Drag or not drag?
Speaker 1: Drag drag? Great, okay, great after a good stot. Okay,
Speaker 1: when you cut all your Barbie's hair off and draw
Speaker 1: a lipstick on her with a red magic marker, drag
Speaker 1: or not drag? Is that something? Cool? Teen? You put
Speaker 1: that in your right? I did. I slipped that one in.
Speaker 1: I was just kind of wondering. No, that's not yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree, not drag. What is it then? Is it
Speaker 1: concerning behavior? Yes, that's precisely what it does. Okay, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's like psycho stuff. All right? Yeah, well, you know
Speaker 1: cool teen. If you can ever get me out of here,
Speaker 1: maybe we can get you some professional help. There's a
Speaker 1: third one, a cat in a hat drag not drag.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that's drag, Chris, I'll agree with that.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of different ways to see a
Speaker 1: cat in a hat, and all of them seem like
Speaker 1: dragged to me. And the cat in the hat that's drag.
Speaker 1: That's drag. Okay. I'm not familiar with the cat in
Speaker 1: the head, but he sounds very important. Yeah he is,
Speaker 1: all right, Okay. Next one, this one, I don't know
Speaker 1: who putition you put on a wig and pretend to
Speaker 1: be human so you can be rescued and finally escaped
Speaker 1: the whole to walk freely on the surface. Drag or
Speaker 1: not drag? That's drag. Yeah, I heard a wig. That's dragan.
Speaker 1: Putting on a wig to escape yourself. Yes, that is drag. Amen. Amen.
Speaker 1: Maybe sometime you could come by and just like throw
Speaker 1: a few wigs down here, you know, since since you
Speaker 1: can get out and I can't, you'll stretch them out.
Speaker 1: But maybe some old ones, which to me, well, it's
Speaker 1: just your a large worm. And I'm I have a
Speaker 1: petite head. Oh you got a little head. Yeah, famously,
Speaker 1: I've got a small, small head. Well, good for you.
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I'm not mad at you. You do have
Speaker 1: a beautiful small head. Thank you. I don't even know
Speaker 1: where my head starts and begins, to be totally honest,
Speaker 1: but you know there's a neck in there somewhere. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go putting your glasses on an inanimate object
Speaker 1: so it looks like it's wearing glasses. Drag or not drag?
Speaker 1: I would say, no, yeah, no, it's not living, it's
Speaker 1: not Okay, that's crafts. That's crafts. That's something else that
Speaker 1: might not be a part of drag, but it is
Speaker 1: a crucial part of mud clot, can we agree, Absolutely,
Speaker 1: a crucial crucial part of mud clock. It's the first
Speaker 1: rule of mud clot. If there's an inanimate object, there
Speaker 1: has to be glasses on it has to be Luckily,
Speaker 1: people throw so many glasses down here, so many mostly
Speaker 1: u Ukley. I don't know. They're kind of attack you
Speaker 1: to me, but makes sense why they get tossed down there.
Speaker 1: They must be the cool kids from the camp that
Speaker 1: cool team came from. It might be. It might be.
Speaker 1: You know, those kids unattended for months at a time,
Speaker 1: they'll throw anything anywhere. They'll even get this, they'll even
Speaker 1: throw rotten tomatoes at a cool kid like me. What
Speaker 1: are you thinking? You know, that's just crazy. Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 1: It's also sad. That's sad to hear that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: sad for them. Sad for them for sure, that they'd
Speaker 1: waste tomatoes like that. You know, I bet they're jealous, totally, Qualtine,
Speaker 1: that's the kids just walk around with tomatoes. No, only
Speaker 1: if they're attacking a loser. But oh okay, yeah, interesting,
Speaker 1: I guess you just new some tomato lovers. Yeah, just
Speaker 1: the kids who worked in the canteen or whatever it's
Speaker 1: called making a mere and era. Anyway, anyway, we can
Speaker 1: do the next one. We can do the next one.
Speaker 1: All right, Well I just got one more. Okay. Uh,
Speaker 1: his listeners submitted that voice you put on when you're
Speaker 1: working in customer service drag or not drug. I don't
Speaker 1: get this one. Show that's drag. That's drag. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stay Le's drag. Chris, Yeah, I guess under these circumstances
Speaker 1: it's drag. We all do that voice, So I guess
Speaker 1: at heart we all everyone has the ability to be
Speaker 1: a drag queen in that sense of the word. This
Speaker 1: is something everybody can do, even worms. Cool teen. Did
Speaker 1: you have any scenarios? Yeah? Um, what about when you
Speaker 1: put on your dad's shoes to go get the newspaper
Speaker 1: out of the driveway? Is that drag? No? No, And
Speaker 1: the flip version of that is putting on your your
Speaker 1: mom's tiny shoes to go get the newspaper, which might
Speaker 1: be dragged. Maybe that is drag, but actually I've talked
Speaker 1: myself into agreeing with you. Okay, and uh, just one more,
Speaker 1: what about when the football team dresses up as who
Speaker 1: does waitresses for Halloween? Is that drag? Technically that's drag?
Speaker 1: I guess yeah, because it doesn't feel like it's in
Speaker 1: the spirit of the thing. You know. I think we
Speaker 1: can say it's bad drag, bad drag. Is there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: bad drag, bad drag, bad drag, And there's good bad drag,
Speaker 1: but that's bad bad drag. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, So we
Speaker 1: got drag, we got good drag, we got bad drag,
Speaker 1: we got good bad drag. Do we have bad good drag?
Speaker 1: Do have bad good drag? Can you give me an example?
Speaker 1: I would say, like if someone's bad on drag race
Speaker 1: it's bad good drag, or someone who's not unique yeah,
Speaker 1: or copying someone else, like it's aesthetically good but it's
Speaker 1: bad and it's core. Oh wow, I like this. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think I think I might be getting it. I
Speaker 1: think I honestly might be getting dragged. But let's go
Speaker 1: into our last segment that I like to call with
Speaker 1: those that dirty. Okay, So for this last segment, we
Speaker 1: are going to and I quote read each other for filth. Okay. Now,
Speaker 1: when I heard about reading fulfilled, it felt perfect for
Speaker 1: me because obviously I'm filthy now reading as I understand
Speaker 1: it is acceptable adult bullying. Yes, yes, exactly, how perfect? Okay,
Speaker 1: let's let's get into it. Who wants to do the
Speaker 1: first read? How about you? Chris? How many giant worms
Speaker 1: does it take to screw in a light bulb? To
Speaker 1: one to roll around in the mud with no arms
Speaker 1: or legs and want to risk their life screw in
Speaker 1: a light bulb with their mouth? I was good. It's funny,
Speaker 1: but it's also mean. Yeah, well you don't have electricity.
Speaker 1: I've been sitting in this hole for thirty three minutes.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen even seeing you. I just hear the
Speaker 1: voice playing a game I invented called Lamp, where I
Speaker 1: pretend I'm a lamp. I stand up straight with a
Speaker 1: light bulb in my mouth. It sounds like a fun game,
Speaker 1: all right, Great, I gotta say it's not as fun
Speaker 1: as mud clot lamp. Very boring game. I've got one, Nathan,
Speaker 1: give me a read. Maybe the Felsa. I heard you
Speaker 1: got a call back to play the sand worm in Dune.
Speaker 1: You should be so proud, you know, parts for ugly,
Speaker 1: disgusting giant worms are hard to come by these days.
Speaker 1: I don't know what doing is with dead belt, mean
Speaker 1: and fun and true? Oh what is? It's a movie
Speaker 1: about giant worms. You might like it. Oh my, we're
Speaker 1: gonna get cable down here we do? Do you want
Speaker 1: one for cool teen? Yeah, let's do it? Hit me,
Speaker 1: hit me? You know what? The only thing sadder than
Speaker 1: a teenager falling down a hole is what a teenager
Speaker 1: that nobody cares his missing falling down the hall? I
Speaker 1: just I couldn't help, but notice that no one's I mean,
Speaker 1: it's only like six ft down here, Coltine, are you
Speaker 1: a book because you just got red? Baby Daddy? Can
Speaker 1: I try one? I want to try one? Go go,
Speaker 1: let me try. Okay. I don't think I know how
Speaker 1: to work, but let me let me try. Okay. So up,
Speaker 1: let's see which one do I want to start with?
Speaker 1: Which one? Okay? Great? Uh? Rish? You know for someone
Speaker 1: with so many appendages, it's surprising you can't hold a note. Well,
Speaker 1: you've never heard me saying I know what was that? Good? Coltine?
Speaker 1: Help me write it? It'd be good if I was
Speaker 1: bad at singing. Are you good at singing? Well? I'm
Speaker 1: not bad. You've never heard me saying can I have
Speaker 1: a sample. Not today, not today, not the copyright infringement,
Speaker 1: all right, of course I didn't mean that. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what your singing voice is like, and I
Speaker 1: do apologize if I've offended you. It's my first read. No,
Speaker 1: it would be a good read. I'm just giving you
Speaker 1: constructive criticism on the read itself. It's okay, we can't.
Speaker 1: I'll be good at reading. You know. If you were
Speaker 1: good at reading, we could call you a book worm.
Speaker 1: That's a read. That was a good read, Chris, did
Speaker 1: you have any more read? Let me see here? Knock knock,
Speaker 1: who's there? Just kidding. I wouldn't knock on your whole
Speaker 1: if you were the last creature in the universe. It's
Speaker 1: actually probably a good thing that you don't live up
Speaker 1: on the surface, because up there, kids like your little
Speaker 1: side kick just cut you into pieces with a pocket
Speaker 1: knife to see how long you'll squirm around. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: see that's a read that got you both read. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm gagging. I'm gagging, which I'm actually told
Speaker 1: gag is a thing too, is Yes, definitely, I think
Speaker 1: you're gagging in both ways, the literal way and the
Speaker 1: figurative way. Interesting. I love that, Nathan, you got another read? Do? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know they say the felista that you know, the
Speaker 1: early bird catches the worm. Well that bird betty'd be
Speaker 1: ready if it catches you to get hepatitis, syphilis and
Speaker 1: gone area. Oh my god, what are those? I bet
Speaker 1: they're good. What are they? I'm gonna say that they're
Speaker 1: sexually transmitted infections? Do you know what? You're actually right?
Speaker 1: I got I got cultures growing on me that I
Speaker 1: got hepatitis agency if I'm being perfectly honest with you,
Speaker 1: So yeah, you're actually you're spot on. That was great? Um,
Speaker 1: cool team? Did you write reads? Oh? I got one?
Speaker 1: I got one for our guests here. Oh you know what?
Speaker 1: This feels like an episode a Queer Eye because a
Speaker 1: bunch of gays came into this hole, insulted me, danced around,
Speaker 1: and did nothing to fundamentally change my day, just life situation.
Speaker 1: That is an incredible read. Yeah, thank you, that's how
Speaker 1: reads are done. Oh man, It's just funny that one
Speaker 1: of the teenagers from Euphoria came down the whole. But
Speaker 1: instead of having intense I makeup or any friends, you
Speaker 1: have mud in a worm and nobody looking for you
Speaker 1: are broken. Man. I'm just thinking about the soundboard again.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna have a lot of fun with that. Look. See,
Speaker 1: do I have any other reads? Okay, I got one
Speaker 1: ready just for noticed, right, I do want for Chris.
Speaker 1: I'm doing for Nathan. Hey, Nathan, you got a hot
Speaker 1: dog's name? How was that? You got a name of
Speaker 1: a hot dog? Were you named after a hot dog? Nathan?
Speaker 1: Where are you going? Nathan? Where are you going? I
Speaker 1: wasn't named after a hot dog. Um, so that's a
Speaker 1: good one. That's a you got me, gal, you got me?
Speaker 1: You look like a Nathan's hot dog. Ironically, boying, boying,
Speaker 1: it rebounded back at you. Oh I needed some buns
Speaker 1: to go between. You know, I've lived in a hole
Speaker 1: in my entire life, and even I can tell that
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to date either one. Was that good? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That was good. Yeah, that's good. That was good. Yeah
Speaker 1: for living in such a deep hole. You really are
Speaker 1: a shallow bitch, thank you. But that was the I
Speaker 1: know that you know a lot of the things about
Speaker 1: you being a bug grosses me out, but to be honest,
Speaker 1: you being a giant worm has inspired me to want
Speaker 1: to be a giant wasp, because then I could kill
Speaker 1: you and myself with one. So that is the nicest
Speaker 1: thing that's ever been said in this hole. I would
Speaker 1: love to be killed by you. You know, I kind
Speaker 1: of think of you as a child, you know, which
Speaker 1: I think I've heard about on the surface, except know
Speaker 1: the fact that you're like jerking off all the time
Speaker 1: and like, you know, like being annoying and you know,
Speaker 1: messing with my stuff and you know, trying to crawl
Speaker 1: into my butt because you want to see what it's
Speaker 1: like in there, and you know what's true, that's true. Well,
Speaker 1: here's this. If I fell into a deeper hole inside
Speaker 1: our hole, would you come looking for me a deeper
Speaker 1: hole and shide our hole? This is this is really sad.
Speaker 1: This is tough to be honest. I think I would
Speaker 1: wait for another cool team to fall down the hole
Speaker 1: and just replace you immediately, you know what I mean. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: good luck. Finding you on the tea is cool as me.
Speaker 1: I guess, Oh, thank you that's nice for washing me luck.
Speaker 1: Anybody else have a read that's important to them to say. No,
Speaker 1: I just got really sad because I realized that you're
Speaker 1: never going to turn into a butterfly. This whole time,
Speaker 1: I was thinking you're a caterpillar, but you're just a
Speaker 1: worm forever. I guess that makes you domes fuck? Was
Speaker 1: that good? Was that to read? Well? Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: good read for someone that doesn't know what music is.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know what music is. Spot. Hey,
Speaker 1: which long Invasion eats dirt? Chris's drag career? Zing zing zing?
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. It was, honestly, coote Yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought you were describing your head and your ass.
Speaker 1: Oh that's the joke, thank you. Hey, look at that
Speaker 1: useless pilum out over there. Oh wait, that's just cootine.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so dirty? All right, anybody else got reads
Speaker 1: or you know, it's almost getting dark here. It's you know,
Speaker 1: just before sundown, so unless you want to sleep over, No,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take the easy route up out of
Speaker 1: this hole. Yeah, I'm gonna follow you, Chris. Do you
Speaker 1: think me when you please? Please take me with you
Speaker 1: to me? Okay, before you go, Before you go, do
Speaker 1: you have anything to plug? Anything? To plug anything? You
Speaker 1: want to plug this whole who's gonna say the same thing? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's really really mean. Oh wow, christ names, and thank
Speaker 1: you so much for being here. Uh cool team you
Speaker 1: know here here and it is what it is. And
Speaker 1: I love your sorta, love your sorta. I guess that's
Speaker 1: our show. Still money, everybody. Your makeup is terrible. Your
Speaker 1: makeup is salable. Your makeup is paler ball, your makeup
Speaker 1: is salable. I love you anyway, salable s you want
Speaker 1: makeup