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Speaker 1: I mean, I just said to Chip and Susan, and

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Speaker 1: we've got to start recording because I feel like we're

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Speaker 1: missing really good content here already laughing. Basically, I said

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Speaker 1: to Susan, I love your story about not being satisfied

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Speaker 1: at forty and finding a way to really include sex

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Speaker 1: and enhance sex in your marriage. And you said, I

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Speaker 1: still deal with that. My pussy is never satisfied. I'm

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Speaker 1: never satisfied. The minute she's satisfied, she's all purring and happy,

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Speaker 1: and then two hours later she's like, I'm not kidding enough.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but jealous. She's judgmental,

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Speaker 1: she's ernery, she's bossy, she's sassy, she's hungry, she's like, ah,

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Speaker 1: living with this thing in my pants. I mean, guys,

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Speaker 1: I think guys are the only ones that that have

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Speaker 1: experienced like this where they can't control themselves. Just the

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Speaker 1: other day, I found myself giving my my husband's ship test,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's a ship test? How did I

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Speaker 1: do that? Like? I thought it was so involved that

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Speaker 1: I could go not do these. It's ridiculous, fustamental. Our

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Speaker 1: physiology is, Oh, I don't know. When you're like, well

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Speaker 1: you obviously don't love me. You would have you know whatever.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't remember what it was. I'm

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Speaker 1: really bad. I'm one of those kind of people where

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Speaker 1: I can have like a knockdown, drag outfight. I get

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Speaker 1: it all out of me, I'm all done, and then

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Speaker 1: the other person can remember every single word I said

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Speaker 1: forever and I can't remember. Don't you hate that? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Actually the person that remembers every single word though, So

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Speaker 1: you and I would really go at it, do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna disadvantage. Yes, yes, I'm a cancer and that's

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Speaker 1: like a huge part of our personality. So there you go,

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Speaker 1: lucky cut. I try not to when I'm in my

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Speaker 1: evolved self, and I mean it's hard. Susan listen if

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Speaker 1: she does, she she's good about being called out on that,

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Speaker 1: So this is true. I can take criticism. So there

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Speaker 1: you go. Well we are here with Susan Bratton. That

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Speaker 1: was quite the introduction. I'm sure people are like, what

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Speaker 1: is happening right now? Um, but we you're an intimacy

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Speaker 1: expert and coach, and I want to talk through a

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Speaker 1: lot of coach. I'm sorry, an intimacy intimacy expert would

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Speaker 1: that be the proper. The reason I say I'm not

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Speaker 1: a coach is that I don't do anyone on one work.

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Speaker 1: That's company where I published Passionate love Making Techniques in

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Speaker 1: Bedroom Communication Skills. So basically, I'm like, I give you

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Speaker 1: the d I y, I give you the workshop in

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Speaker 1: a box if you will, And I give you the videos,

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Speaker 1: the audios, the e books, the workbooks to work your

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Speaker 1: ship out yourself, step by step by step, or to

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Speaker 1: learn new skills and increment your knowledge yourself so you

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Speaker 1: can do what I like to call transforming having sex

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Speaker 1: into making love. My kind of my thing is heart

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Speaker 1: connected love making techniques which include communication skills. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: let's I think that's a really good place to start.

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Speaker 1: So what would you say are the main differences between

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Speaker 1: love making and just having sex? Well, I think that

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Speaker 1: having sex is kind of like a friction event. You know,

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Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, if we rub our parts together, whatever

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Speaker 1: parts they are, we'll get to have orgasms hopefully, right,

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Speaker 1: And uh, that's not intimate connection. The reason I say

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Speaker 1: that I'm an intimacy expert is that when you have

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Speaker 1: heart connection, when you can look each other in the

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Speaker 1: eyes instead of having sex, that is you know, your

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Speaker 1: eyes are closed and you're checked out and you're just

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Speaker 1: feeling it and they're just feeling it. That's not that's

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Speaker 1: not intimacy. When you don't hold each other and stroke

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Speaker 1: each other's bodies, when you don't cherish the person, if

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Speaker 1: you're not deep breathing, if that's not you know, if

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Speaker 1: you're not just like really connecting with each other's breaths

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Speaker 1: and being super close and having really sexy kissing and

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Speaker 1: rubbing your hands all over your lover because they feel

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Speaker 1: so good to you. Those are what I would consider

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Speaker 1: heart connected. And the other piece of my kind of

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Speaker 1: little phrase heart connected. Conscious love making techniques is conscious

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Speaker 1: means the communication piece. It means I'm here, I'm with you,

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Speaker 1: I've chosen you, I'm present, I'm invested in our love making.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm here through the fix and the thins, the

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Speaker 1: rocky moments when your yoni gets cranky and it's all

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Speaker 1: bitchy or whatever it might be. Um, that's the conscious piece,

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Speaker 1: which is that I'm not ashamed about my sex. I'm

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Speaker 1: i'm i'm I'm surrender dird to my pleasure with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to suck my stomach in I'm not fake,

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Speaker 1: I'm not performative. I mean, one of the things that

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Speaker 1: I think pornography has done is that it's really hurt

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Speaker 1: sex because pornography is made for men to jerk off too.

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Speaker 1: It's made because men need to keep their sperm topped

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Speaker 1: off because at any moment they're gonna be called on

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Speaker 1: to perform, and they can't tell. In the heterosexual world,

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Speaker 1: they can't tell when their woman is going to want

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Speaker 1: them because she's on this moon cycle, so they gotta

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Speaker 1: be ready. So that's why they're so driven to masturbate.

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Speaker 1: So porn grew up to provide the things that they

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Speaker 1: want to watch to get off. But then everybody thinks

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Speaker 1: that's what sex is, and it ends up being performance

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Speaker 1: and friction rather than what I think lovers want, which

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Speaker 1: is intimacy, connection UM, surrender to pleasure UM, a co

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Speaker 1: mingling of orgasmic pleasure UM multiple male orgasm, full body

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Speaker 1: energy orgasms, touching you everywhere, not having shame, having joy

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Speaker 1: and pleasure and laughter and touch and fun and and

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Speaker 1: so the conscious piece of it is, I'm I'm totally

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Speaker 1: showing up in my heart and my connection for you

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Speaker 1: right now in this moment of our love making. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love that. I have a friend who says that

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Speaker 1: a lot of the things like that pornography kind of

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Speaker 1: provides for our culture has like made our culture think

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Speaker 1: is that basically two people masturbating together is sex. And

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Speaker 1: it's like, that's not at all the connection I just

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Speaker 1: heard you talk about, which like I want that. That

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Speaker 1: sounds amazing. Is that possible in a casual setting or

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Speaker 1: do you think it that's only possible in sort of

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Speaker 1: a zoned in relationship where people fully know each other.

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Speaker 1: I think it's possible to have casual, heart connected sex

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Speaker 1: because I think what you bring is your vulnerability and

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Speaker 1: a loving heart and soul to the person in the moment,

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Speaker 1: and you can have that. I mean, you've had one

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Speaker 1: night stands that touched your heart, You've had a long

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Speaker 1: fun fest flings in remote perhaps just make I'm going

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Speaker 1: to Jamaica. Why I said that, Like church Lady, Jamaica

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Speaker 1: kind of manifest it for me. I'm man, I'm manifesting

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Speaker 1: for you. What do you want? What would be like

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Speaker 1: the perfect Jamaican sexual fantasy for you? Actually, I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: doing an intentional celibacy right now, and so for me,

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Speaker 1: it would only involve myself, Susan. Al right, great, So

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Speaker 1: you need to take the four different kinds of vibrators

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Speaker 1: that I recommend for women for orgasmic cross training. Oh

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Speaker 1: now this is getting into about this. I want to

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Speaker 1: know what they are, of course I do. Well. The

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Speaker 1: first one, of course, we all know there's vibrators, right,

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Speaker 1: some kind some kinds of vibrators. There's vibrators that are buzzy,

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Speaker 1: and vibrators that are rumbling and things like that, and

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Speaker 1: that's great. Um. The second kind is what's called a thruster,

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Speaker 1: And a thruster is actually a vibrator that goes inside

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Speaker 1: you and it rocks back and forth, so it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like intercourse done for you can tickle the G

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Speaker 1: spot at the same time, and it can be hands free,

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Speaker 1: so you could you could be playing with your own

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Speaker 1: breasts while the thruster is doing its thing to you. Um.

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Speaker 1: Those are really good for women who haven't been actively

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Speaker 1: sexual recently and they're like, I hope this thing is

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Speaker 1: not broken. You know, you gotta get some blood flow

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Speaker 1: going to get the cob webs out of there. It's right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: thrust the cob webs out. Um, and then there's what's

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Speaker 1: called an air stimulator, and that is kind of The

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Speaker 1: Womanizer is the most famous brand. It's like the it

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Speaker 1: sucks and blows the click. Yes, yes, yes, those are nice.

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Speaker 1: And they have a new one called the Duo, which

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Speaker 1: actually also has a G spot vibrator, so you can

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Speaker 1: get your clip sucked while you're vibrating your G spot

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Speaker 1: at the same time, and that's a really nice blended orgasm.

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Speaker 1: And then the fourth kind is essentially a motor boat

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Speaker 1: for your clip. It's like a liquor. And my favorite

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Speaker 1: one of those is called the Volta by fun Factory.

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Speaker 1: That's a really nice one. So if you have all

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Speaker 1: these different types of sex toys, something to stimulate your

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Speaker 1: G spot, something to stimulate your clearers, something that goes

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Speaker 1: inside your vaginas, something that goes outside, something that's a

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Speaker 1: big buzz, something that's a small kind of buzz or

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Speaker 1: big rumble of small buzz. You know, something superpower packed

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Speaker 1: air stimulate. You know you've got all this different stuff.

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Speaker 1: Number Number one thing it does is it it teaches

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Speaker 1: your body how to come from a lot of different stimulation,

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Speaker 1: which means you just generally become a better comer. So

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Speaker 1: that when you're with a partner, you're able to come

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Speaker 1: more easily. A lot of people think I'm just funny.

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Speaker 1: I'm writing an article for a website right now about

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Speaker 1: how um sex toys don't decrease your orgasmic ability, they

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Speaker 1: increase it even when you're with a partner. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: so interesting. I'm sorry to cut you off. I've always

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Speaker 1: heard that that, like, if you were using a vibrator

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Speaker 1: when you're by yourself, then you're gonna have a harder

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Speaker 1: time orgasm ng with your partner because you get so

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Speaker 1: used to that artificial stimulation. That's not true. How learning

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Speaker 1: how to come from different types of stimulation is the trick, right,

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Speaker 1: So you start to cross train with different vibrators. Usually

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Speaker 1: people have one path to orgasm when they start, because

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Speaker 1: orgasms are learned skill. I mean, there are twenty kinds

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Speaker 1: of orgasms for the male body, for chip for the female. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and the twenty one is wild cards, so that it's

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Speaker 1: really unlimited. There are ways people are coming that I

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Speaker 1: haven't even heard about, and I heard about a lot

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Speaker 1: of them. So what's great is I mean, whether you're

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Speaker 1: an XX or x Y chromosome person, no, matter where

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Speaker 1: you are across the gender spectrum, all sexual gender identity expression.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter what it is, because if you come,

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Speaker 1: we come the same way, the masculine and feminine bodies,

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Speaker 1: the different genders come the same way. Men have a prostate,

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Speaker 1: women have a g spot, women have an any in

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Speaker 1: their vagina where we go internal. Men are external with

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Speaker 1: their penis. But we still all can have nipplegasms and

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Speaker 1: throat gasms and plugasms and core orgasms or bellygasms. We

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Speaker 1: can have orgasms from prostate stimulation, from penis stimulation. Men

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Speaker 1: can be multi or asthma. They can have full body orgasms.

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Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many different kinds of and what's

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Speaker 1: interesting is that there's actually three categories of orgasms. There's

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Speaker 1: the places to touch, which is a lot of what

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Speaker 1: I've been listing, and then there's and each time if

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Speaker 1: you start out with the one way you come like

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Speaker 1: some guys. Some guys stroke their penis just at the

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Speaker 1: base and hardly touched the top. Other guys they're just

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Speaker 1: really at the top. Other guys super light touch, got

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Speaker 1: to get the ball. Other guys are like it's got

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Speaker 1: to be like practically you're squeeze, you're squeezing it to death.

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Speaker 1: And then you know, so everybody has such a different experience.

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Speaker 1: But the touch locations are one thing. And then there's

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Speaker 1: the kind of techniques like becoming a multi orgasmic man

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Speaker 1: without you know, learning to have orgasms without ejaculating, because

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Speaker 1: there are two separate systems in the body. So any

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Speaker 1: man can come and come and come and come and come.

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Speaker 1: Any any male body penis owner can have unlimited orgasms

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Speaker 1: and then he can choose when he wants to ejaculate.

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Speaker 1: He can he can gain ejaculatory choice. Uh so that

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Speaker 1: or you know, um expanded orgasm practice learning how to

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Speaker 1: get into an orgasm and take that moment of climax

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Speaker 1: and just stretch time out like taf a. Anybody can

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Speaker 1: do that. You can calm and comm and come. These

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Speaker 1: are all learned skills, including the third kind of orgasms,

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Speaker 1: which are orgasms that are generated from objects. Whether those

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Speaker 1: be you know, still let o heels get me off,

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Speaker 1: or I love leather chaps, or I'm sitting on a

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Speaker 1: scybian or I have these sex toys or whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: they really can create orgasmic release for you. So when

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Speaker 1: you learn orgasm you usually have one way you start,

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Speaker 1: but then if you keep trying and and if you're

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Speaker 1: aware that there are all these organs, since then you

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Speaker 1: are the kind of person who wants to have those experiences.

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Speaker 1: Then it's as simple as learning how to do it.

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Speaker 1: It's like, once you know that it's there and you

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Speaker 1: know how to do it, your body is available to

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Speaker 1: have it. I did a series this summer called Come

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Speaker 1: with Me The Twenty Kinds of Orgasms, and I described

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Speaker 1: to have each one so you can just start adding

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Speaker 1: to your skill set. Yeah, so is this a mental

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Speaker 1: or a physical thing? Like? How do Yeah? I mean,

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Speaker 1: can you walk us through like some of them? I'm

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Speaker 1: just I'm curious because it's like, well she did she

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Speaker 1: just an example of what? Yeah, Like how how to

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Speaker 1: relearn something I don't know? Like if if you, as

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Speaker 1: a male, if you feel like you're about to ejaculate,

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Speaker 1: how do you extend that? Yeah? Yeah, how is that

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Speaker 1: not a physical thing? How is that mental? Well? The

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Speaker 1: first thing that's mental about it is um that you

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Speaker 1: have to understand that ejaculation and orgasm are separate systems

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Speaker 1: in the male body. So most guys think when I

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Speaker 1: when I have an orgasm, I ejaculate. That's just how

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Speaker 1: it is. Actually, it's not just what you do because

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Speaker 1: you learned that, because that's what's endemic in our culture.

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Speaker 1: But the Taoists have been separating ejaculation in orgasm for

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Speaker 1: thousands of years, you know. So um, then you're like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I don't actually have to ejaculate, and I can

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Speaker 1: have an orgasm in my body, but ejaculate doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to come out of my penis. Okay, So how do

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Speaker 1: I do that? So one of my programs, it's called

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Speaker 1: the Multi Orgasmic Lover for Men, which teaches men a

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Speaker 1: whole series of things. Uh. The first is to be

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Speaker 1: present because for a lot of men, they've trained themselves.

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Speaker 1: They started masturbating at an early age, and they did

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Speaker 1: it furtively, and they did it quickly, and so men

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Speaker 1: have kind of trained themselves to come fast. Men number

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Speaker 1: one sexual problem is that they come too fast. Women's

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Speaker 1: number one sexual problem is that they can't come. It's

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Speaker 1: like we're so at the opposite ends of the spectrum,

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Speaker 1: and and yet we can all come the same, and

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Speaker 1: they're all learned skills. So what I like to do

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Speaker 1: is just make people aware and what you're aware. I

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Speaker 1: call myself an orgasm knot like an astronaut that goes

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Speaker 1: to the far silver Lemmy jumpsuit or naturally super cute

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Speaker 1: spaceship with very sexy modern futurisms. You should be yes.

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Speaker 1: And once someone shows you the map to the territory,

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Speaker 1: when someone tells you as possible and shows you how

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Speaker 1: to do it, then you can start practicing. So the

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Speaker 1: multi Orgasmic de Lover for Men program which you can

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Speaker 1: get at tuning for tip dot com. The tuning fork

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Speaker 1: concept is that once you brand, once you can get

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Speaker 1: beyond worrying about coming too fast with these techniques which

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Speaker 1: I'm about to tell you, and you can bring your

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Speaker 1: presence to your partner. Then you can show your turn

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Speaker 1: on because it's not going to make you come too fast.

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Speaker 1: And when you show your arousal, then that turns your

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Speaker 1: partner on. Just like you're holding two tuning forks and

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Speaker 1: you wrap one against something hard and hold it against

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Speaker 1: the other one and the other one starts to resonate.

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Speaker 1: That's how turn on is the hotter the person, you know,

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Speaker 1: the sexier and more turned on one person is and

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Speaker 1: shows that that allows the other person to get into

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Speaker 1: their turn on more until you're really getting turned on together.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, you have to um learn to separate orgasm

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Speaker 1: from ejaculation. And essentially what you do is you you

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Speaker 1: you learn how to do this during masturbation, but then

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Speaker 1: you can use this during intercourse or penetration I will

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Speaker 1: just say penetration. And the way that it works is

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Speaker 1: you start to stimulate yourself and you get yourself close

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Speaker 1: to coming, but but then you learn to back off

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Speaker 1: and you learn how to take yourself up and down

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Speaker 1: your arousal ladder. And you do that through something we

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Speaker 1: call the me breath, and the me breath is a squeezing,

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Speaker 1: a breath and a thrusting technique. The squeeze helps you

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Speaker 1: keep from ejaculating, the breathing makes everything calm down when

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Speaker 1: you're getting close to that point of no return, and

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Speaker 1: the thrust is actually a hip rock that allows you

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Speaker 1: to calm down. The pelvis will continue enuing to deliver

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Speaker 1: pleasure to your partner. That you can do while you're

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Speaker 1: doing the squeezing and the breathing and pull your arousal

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Speaker 1: back while you're staying present with your partner. And it's

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Speaker 1: a learned skill that you start with step one and

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Speaker 1: you build. It's kind of like a golf swing or

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Speaker 1: learning how to drive a car. You know, when you

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Speaker 1: started learning how to drive a car, you were looking

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Speaker 1: out the front, you were looking in the rear view mirror,

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Speaker 1: you were learning how to shift. You had your foot

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Speaker 1: on the gas, your foot on the foot on the brake.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of things, and you're like sixteen or

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Speaker 1: fifteen or whatever. You learn how to drive, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: this is a lot of stuff. I have to do

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Speaker 1: all it wants. And that's how learning to become a

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Speaker 1: multi orgasmic ban is. You go from being able to

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Speaker 1: calm down your urge to ejaculate to being able to

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Speaker 1: gain ejaculatory choice and to be able to draw the

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Speaker 1: turn on into your body and up your body through

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Speaker 1: breath and awareness and spreading the pleasure rather than letting

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Speaker 1: it exit out your body. You can come whenever you

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Speaker 1: want to. You don't have It's not seemin retention. It's

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Speaker 1: just being able to control. It's like owning the gasing

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Speaker 1: and the breaking of your turn on system in your body.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting to me to listen you talk about

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Speaker 1: this step. But first of all, I was sitting here

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Speaker 1: thinking happy Friday morning, y'all. Like the people then they're

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Speaker 1: like what wow, um. But the second thing I'm thinking

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Speaker 1: is there's so much intention behind what you're saying, Like

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Speaker 1: you can practice this technique, you can learn about this.

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Speaker 1: There's so many other factors and facets to our bodies

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Speaker 1: than we're even talking about, and like sort of to

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Speaker 1: go back to the porn thing, we're just talking about

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Speaker 1: like bumping up against each other until we come kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. And it's like, the reason people probably get

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Speaker 1: bored in sex and their relationships is because they're not

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Speaker 1: diving deeper into the stuff, like you're saying, like, we

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Speaker 1: don't practice sex or learning about sex in the same

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Speaker 1: way we do anything else in our lives. It's so

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Speaker 1: kind of crazy that we just like missed the mark

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Speaker 1: on this thing. Well, it's it's almost like we all

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Speaker 1: feel like you have to come into a relationship a

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Speaker 1: professional and be creating it already rather than figuring out

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Speaker 1: how to make sex with your partner the best that

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Speaker 1: it can be because everyone performs differently, so it's like

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Speaker 1: everything that, yeah, absolutely right, You've already talked about how

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Speaker 1: moody your pussy is. I'm sure she's different every day.

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Speaker 1: She's a count well actually a one hour take. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: take that topic though a little bit, because the way

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Speaker 1: that I found you, I was listening to you on

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Speaker 1: another podcast and you were talking about your story and

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Speaker 1: you said your whole business started when you were what

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Speaker 1: the age of forty? Is that accurate? Because you were

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Speaker 1: unsatisfied in your own sexual relationship with your husband. And

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Speaker 1: this is not a knock on him, because I think

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Speaker 1: it's shifted. We just didn't know. We didn't know exactly,

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Speaker 1: And so talk us through your journey and how that started,

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Speaker 1: what you were going through then, what you were bumping

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Speaker 1: up against in your marriage. Yeah. Sure, Well, when I

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Speaker 1: was in my early forties and I've been married for

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Speaker 1: about a decade to my husband, UM, I really wasn't

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Speaker 1: enjoying having sex with him because at the time, sex

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Speaker 1: for us was intercourse and um, I mean I could

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Speaker 1: get myself off with a vibrator, So it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: I couldn't come, but I wasn't coming from intercourse, and

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Speaker 1: I just wanted less and less and less of it

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Speaker 1: over the years because it really just wasn't that satisfying

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Speaker 1: for me. I felt, honestly like a masturbatory sock like

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Speaker 1: he could have just masturbated into He was just masturbating

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Speaker 1: into me. He was getting off, but I wasn't. And

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Speaker 1: Dr Laurie Mints did a TED talk called the Orgasm

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Speaker 1: Gap about how easy it is for men to come

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Speaker 1: during penetration and how difficult it is for women to

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Speaker 1: come from penetration. And what I think is interesting about

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Speaker 1: that is what I said earlier. Men come too fast

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Speaker 1: and women take forever to get there. And a part

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Speaker 1: of that is that men have some natural competitive advantages sexually. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I think gay men have such great sex because there

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Speaker 1: are a few stumbling blocks that aren't in the way

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Speaker 1: for them because they're on the same page physiologically. And

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Speaker 1: that is that men are testosterone dominant, which is the

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Speaker 1: hormone of of sex drive. So they're both hornier than

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Speaker 1: two women who would get together. That's why there's such

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Speaker 1: a thing as lesbian bed death right. And women we

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Speaker 1: go through this twenty day moon cycle, so we go

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Speaker 1: into asterisk and we have, you know, our kind of

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Speaker 1: five day horny window, and we're willing to have sex

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Speaker 1: at other times, but we tend to be more more

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Speaker 1: horny on certain days than others where men are more

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Speaker 1: steady state horny every day if they're healthy. And then

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Speaker 1: for the masculine because he's got the audie that penis

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Speaker 1: with three long shafts, essentially these these spongy shafts that

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Speaker 1: they're so long and straight, it's like a straight shot.

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Speaker 1: They just the blood goes down into their pelvic bowl

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Speaker 1: and it shoots right in and gives them a big

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Speaker 1: heart on rural fast where female anatomy it's more like

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Speaker 1: a pachinko game. It's um, it's it's like I always say,

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Speaker 1: it's like an English muffin. You have. This is our

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Speaker 1: our erectile tissue network is completely circling our vaginal opening.

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Speaker 1: So we have all this directile tissue. But it's it's

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Speaker 1: like nooks and crannies where it just takes a while

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Speaker 1: for the blood to get into those nooks and crannies.

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Speaker 1: And so often women are having penetrative sex way before

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Speaker 1: they're fully engorged, so they're basically having flaccid, non erective sex.

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Speaker 1: And if you think about what an erection is, it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a stiffy that goes from you being small

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Speaker 1: to you being big, and when you're big, you've got

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Speaker 1: all the surface area sending all these signals of pleasure

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Speaker 1: to the brain, which is why guys come too fast

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Speaker 1: because it got all these pleasure signals where she needs

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Speaker 1: all this time to get turned on, and then when

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Speaker 1: her yonie is nice and plump and fluffed up, then

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Speaker 1: the pleasure signals start going. That's why day two sex

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Speaker 1: is often better for women than day one sex, or

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Speaker 1: or like if you have a weekend's worth of sex,

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Speaker 1: the orgasms at the on Sunday are better than the

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Speaker 1: ones on Friday because you've gotten the blood flow going.

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Speaker 1: But we didn't know this. Nobody knows these things, and

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Speaker 1: so we were having sex. He was ready to go.

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Speaker 1: He penetrate me head orgasm. I wasn't even turned on yet.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't know. And so this is all hindsight

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Speaker 1: is twenty. What happened was we said, all right, well,

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Speaker 1: we see all our friends getting divorced, and we know

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Speaker 1: it's not money for them either, because we were all employed,

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Speaker 1: we all had good jobs, and we knew it was sexuality.

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Speaker 1: And we're like, we're not going to be one of

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Speaker 1: those people. We're not getting divorced. Are great together, we're

425
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: best friends, we are we're super good together. Let's not

426
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: funk this up over sex. Let's go learn how to

427
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: have sex. You learn everything that, so let's go learn

428
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 1: how to do it. So we ended up going to

429
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 1: because we live in the Bay Area of California, and

430
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: so we live in kind of the nexus of her

431
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: human potential and sexuality. And so we started enrolling in

432
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: sex workshops and we learned how to get how to

433
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: have female ejaculatory orgasms. We we did seven levels of

434
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: the Human Awareness Institute of Sex, Love and Intimacy. We

435
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: did orgasmic meditation, we did ton Trick workshops, and we

436
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: just started feeling more comfortable about our sexuality. I had

437
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: never even looked at my cranky little Yoni before I

438
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: was forty two. I mean, I took competing now and then,

439
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: but I was all like, I don't know, it's god

440
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: weird now there. Now it's like she's a magnificent creature. Behold.

441
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 1: And I love everything about Myoni, and I love how

442
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: beautiful she is and all the changes she goes through.

443
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 1: And I just and and she's more juicy and alive

444
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: and activated. And I'm sixty years old then she's ever been.

445
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: And so what I've realized. What we realized was that

446
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: we quickly got very good in bed. I started having orgasms,

447
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,120
Speaker 1: and then I was like, what other kinds of orgasms?

448
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: You know? And that's what healed our relationship was just

449
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: learning how to have great sex together. And we had

450
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: such good sex, and we learned it so quickly that

451
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: we were like, what the what? We need to put

452
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: this stuff on the inner webs so anyone anywhere in

453
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: the world who's a sexual seeker can come and download

454
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: the programs and learn from home, because very few people

455
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 1: are going to go to northern California and get naked

456
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: and go to a sex workshop for thousands of dollars.

457
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: I mean, we spent thirty grand in our sexual education

458
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: just going to everything, Walking on Fire with Tony Robbins

459
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: and you know, like everything. It was a massive time

460
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: of massive personal growth for us. And your sexual growth

461
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 1: is this the other side of the same coin as

462
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: your personal growth? If your personal growth mindset person, you're like, well,

463
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: I should learn something about sex to that. And I

464
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 1: mean this all this entrepreneurial stuff I'm doing in the

465
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: morning with my meditation at my ice bath and all

466
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,160
Speaker 1: this stuff, maybe I should learn how to stroke a pussy,

467
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: there's a good idea, right, or how to stroke a cock.

468
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: So that's what we did. We started a business together

469
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: because we had such a renaissance of our relationship. I

470
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: love that it's tied because I mean, I think there's

471
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: a lot of people in our culture, and I know

472
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: probably a lot of people listening to this podcast that

473
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: can get, you know, kind of uncomfortable with these topics.

474
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: And I'm actually coming into the phase like what you

475
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 1: just described of where I'm I'm curious and I'm like

476
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 1: open and just wanting to learn more and not feel

477
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 1: shame around sex or my body or anything like that.

478
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: And I'm a person who truly desires deep connection and

479
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: so for me, it's not like I want to go

480
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: out and just have sex with a bunch of random people,

481
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: like I would like to be exploring this with a

482
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: partner like what you're describing, and so I want to

483
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: make sure that people understand I guess, like that whole

484
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: piece of it, because it's like, do you bump up

485
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 1: against a lot of people just being scared of the

486
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: topic of sex. Oh? Yeah. Our our culture is so

487
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: religiously repressed, societally repressed, slut shamed, ti lb t q uh.

488
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 1: You know, like we are, we're basically screwing up everything

489
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: about our sexuality and our culture. Thank god, there's some

490
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: of us who are actually willing to get together and

491
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 1: talk about it and even do it. So what I

492
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 1: what I realized early on. I mean, it's so funny.

493
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 1: People said to me, Oh, you're in the sex business,

494
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: will sex cells. You're just gonna be You're gonna be

495
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 1: a trainer because everybody loves sex. And I'm like, oh,

496
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: contrac air. If you put a hundred people in the room,

497
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: maybe five or ten of them would be even willing

498
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: to learn how to make love. So it's just what

499
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: I do is I'm like, hey, if I appeal to you,

500
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: if you like the way I mean, the people who

501
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 1: like Susan Bratton are the people who are like I

502
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: like you because you just straight talk. I like you

503
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: because you net it out. I like it. Could you

504
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: give me steps? I like it because you give me hope.

505
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: And that's what I've really learned over the last nearly

506
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: twenty years is that my job is to inspire you,

507
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: to inform and educate you, and to cheer you on

508
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: and to let you know that it is possible. That's

509
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: why I'm not a coach or a therapist. What I

510
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: am as somebody who teaches you techniques that are gonna work.

511
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 1: And once one works, and then you're like, oh, she

512
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: taught me something. I did it, it was fantastic. What

513
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: else does she have? And then they're like, oh wow,

514
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: I've got a lifetime of learning ahead of me. Oh

515
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: this is gonna be fun. Because even me right now today,

516
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: after twenty years of doing it, trying it everything, I'm

517
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 1: I still have things on my list that I want

518
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 1: to try that i'm doing that are new. Because what

519
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: you wanted your twenties is different than your thirties. For

520
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 1: as you mature, as your sexual as you go through

521
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: your sexual maturation, your desires change, what turns you on

522
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: change is like twenty years ago, I thought wearing lingerie

523
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: was like a disrespectful thing for women. Why should I

524
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: have to put on lingerie? And now I'm like, get

525
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: me some stripper shoes, daddy, I'm all put them all.

526
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: And banking I was like spanking, It just seems so violent.

527
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: I don't know why anyone would want to do it.

528
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 1: I would never want to be spanked for Valentine's day,

529
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: I wanted us spanking for my present, Like I just

530
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: you know, all this stuff that's available to us. It

531
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: starts we were like, oh I'm into that. Oh no,

532
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm into this. Oh no, that looks interesting. It's like

533
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: you can be a kid in the Sexual Candy Story

534
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: your whole life, and you can have great sex till

535
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: the day you die. We're born sexual, and we die

536
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: sexual if we allow ourselves the pleasure. Yeah, I feel

537
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: like so many people are just scared of sex. Like

538
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: Chip and I do one podcast each month dedicated to sex, dating, relationships,

539
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: or any any topics that fall under a kind of

540
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 1: those categories. And the last one we did, a lot

541
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: of the questions we got were from people in marriages

542
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: who hadn't had sex in years or you know, and

543
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: those were the kind of questions. But the main underlying

544
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 1: thing that I realized was like they were not able

545
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 1: to actually talk to their partner about any of these issues,

546
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: and they're like coming to us to be like, hey,

547
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: what do we do about this? You know? And it's like, wait,

548
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: if you're not talking to your partner, why are you

549
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: talking to us about it? Like how important is communication?

550
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: And all of this stuff it's the foundation. Your sexuality

551
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: is a three legged stool. The first leg is the

552
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: sex techniques and the skills and the knowledge and the

553
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: awareness of what is possible. The second leg is the

554
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: communication skills, not only how to ask for what you

555
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: want confidently, but to know that your partner is not

556
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: going to take it as criticism and it's going to

557
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: take it as valuable feedback, pearls of momentary wisdom to

558
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 1: pleasure you better. And then the third leg of the

559
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: stool is actually your sexual health, and that runs everything

560
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: from STDs to you know, U t e s and

561
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: bladder infections and prostrate problems and directile dysfunction and painful

562
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: sex and all of the things that can happen to

563
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: our sexual plumbing systems. Because for a lot of people,

564
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: one of the programs that one of the free gifts

565
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: I give away, I give away a lot of free

566
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: things UM again to earn people's trust and to meet

567
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: them where they are. UM. One of the things that

568
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: I give away is a technique called the Magic Pill method,

569
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: because what I found is that when people stop having sex,

570
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: they hit a roadblock and they didn't know how to

571
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: solve it. And so because they couldn't have, and it's

572
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: usually penetration. For whatever reason. I can't have penetration. I

573
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: got long haul COVID, I've got cancer, I've got e

574
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: D I've got a million things. Um. The one thing

575
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:43,959
Speaker 1: that people stop having sex about that requires a therapist

576
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 1: is betrayal. That's about twenty of the time when people

577
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: stop having sex, it's because one person betrayed the other.

578
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: And there there's about twenty of people. It's always the

579
00:34:55,840 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: twenty Parado principle. Um, there's about people that just cannot

580
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 1: let go of things, they can't get over it, and

581
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 1: there are eight can work through betrayal and go on

582
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:12,280
Speaker 1: to have good relationships again, but needs some serious support

583
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 1: and getting over. But then there's a whole other people

584
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: who are its health, emotional, physical issues. That often people

585
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:23,439
Speaker 1: think that okay, I can't have sex anymore because they're

586
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: thinking sex as penetration or they don't know how to

587
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 1: fix the problem that they have when there's so many

588
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: solutions to genital pain and issues and dysfunctions and all

589
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: of those things, so many ways to fix it. Gains

590
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: wave treatments, penis pumps, the Phoenix Black, the v Fit,

591
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,720
Speaker 1: Gold p RP the P shot, the O shot, the

592
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: c O two lasers, the RF devices. Um. I mean,

593
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,760
Speaker 1: there's just so many things that are very easy fixes

594
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: for sexual issues, and so when they hit this obstacle,

595
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 1: it's like they just stop having sex, they stop touching

596
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: each other, they become platonic, and then he emotionally checks out,

597
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: she emotionally checks out. They've lost their intimacy. It's not

598
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 1: as fun for them anymore. And ultimately they either have

599
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: a marriage where it's seated in deep frustration and anger

600
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,919
Speaker 1: and resentment and rejection by one person with the other

601
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:23,479
Speaker 1: person basically just stone cold, emotionally checked out, not even

602
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: caring about what the other partner's going through from this

603
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 1: loss of intimacy. So the Magic Pill method is a

604
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: three step structure for communicating what you used to do

605
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 1: that you miss, what you could still do even with

606
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,760
Speaker 1: your problems, and how to fix some of the problems

607
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,320
Speaker 1: that you have so you can go back to work

608
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: in the whole list rather than part of the list.

609
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: People forget to compromise and work around and solve and

610
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 1: fix things, they just throw up their hands and give

611
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: up because they can't talk about it. So I created

612
00:36:56,080 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: the structure for safe conversation so couples could work through

613
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: it themselves. Things can be solved without a therapist, but

614
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 1: the therapists are fantastic for those times when you just

615
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: need some guidance. Yeah, it's so funny because yesterday when

616
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 1: we were recording that, I literally said to Chip, I mean,

617
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 1: the only thing I know how to say is like,

618
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: go get a third party involved. And sometimes maybe a

619
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: therapist does seem a little extreme or intimidating to people,

620
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: And so there is an interesting idea here of like

621
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: maybe it's something that you can break down into these

622
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 1: little steps or even just start having the conversations to

623
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: see where the big issue is because they're just has

624
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: to be some sort of communication and download ship. I

625
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: was just gonna say, you can download that at magic

626
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 1: pill method dot com. Agree, Yeah, go check that off.

627
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 1: What I was going to say is, you know, you

628
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: mentioned that there's a lot of shame around sex just

629
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: because of you know, our sort of Quaker ways in

630
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: the US. But I mean, it's it's also true, or

631
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: at least it appears to me to be true that

632
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 1: um people who have a lot of sex are really

633
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: good at sex or put out that energy or there's

634
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 1: like they're put on a bit of a pedestal. And

635
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: so I would imagine that when there is a problem

636
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 1: with sex or it starts to die off, there's there's

637
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: a there's a shame around that too. So how do

638
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,720
Speaker 1: people get over that? I mean, it's it's so interesting

639
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: because Kelly and I we get these questions all the time,

640
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,839
Speaker 1: and obviously we don't know the intimate details of what's

641
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,359
Speaker 1: happening in their lives. Are just like, we stopped having

642
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: sex eight months ago, and it's like, what are you

643
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: talking about it? Like it seems like the most obvious

644
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: responses to be like, well, talk about it and then

645
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 1: you can figure it out. But like, how you get

646
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: over that shame hump? Well, the only way you can

647
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: do it is to get really clear about what it

648
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: is that you want, what it is that you can do,

649
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: and what it is that you miss. And that's what

650
00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 1: the magic pill method does, is it helps you cl

651
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 1: orify your thoughts because generally, when you're upset about something,

652
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 1: you're emotionally flooded and it's very difficult to even think clearly.

653
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: So you can know that you have a problem, but

654
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: not know what you want as a solution, Like Okay,

655
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: you're piste off. What do you want? You know, I

656
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: don't know. I just know what I'm getting, isn't it right?

657
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 1: That's very common? Uh, super super common is I don't

658
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,320
Speaker 1: know what I want, so I don't ask for anything

659
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: because I just what am I going to say? The

660
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: actual fact is that you know what you want and

661
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: you understand that your body is wise, and you can

662
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:40,240
Speaker 1: listen to her or him as well. You can listen

663
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: to or they. You can listen to your intuitive the

664
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:48,360
Speaker 1: intuitive conversation of what your body is telling you it needs.

665
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:52,280
Speaker 1: I need to be held, I need to be finger fucked,

666
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: whatever it is. And you know you want things and

667
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: so once you can get clear about what are then

668
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: you can find the courage to share that with your partner.

669
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: And if you can't find the courage, then you do

670
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: need to have some support. And my favorite place to

671
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: send people for sexuality therapy is the American Association of

672
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:22,800
Speaker 1: Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It's a sect a A S

673
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: e c T dot org and they have a directory

674
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: so you can find someone in your area or just

675
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: someone that you like who you can have zoom calls with,

676
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: who can help guide you through releasing your shame and

677
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 1: asking for what you want and helping you find your

678
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: way to that. I love. When we first started talking,

679
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 1: you mentioned something about how to know what you want

680
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: in bed and how to ask for it with confidence.

681
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: And I think especially as a woman, I mean, and

682
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, it's kind of interesting, like

683
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this stuff, and like I said, I'm

684
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 1: about to be forty. You kind of mentioned really getting

685
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: to this discovery place with yourself at forties. I don't

686
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: if there's something around that age group for women, but

687
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: that that is something, Well tell me about that. That's

688
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: the first thing, and then there is just something that

689
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 1: I know for me personally, it has been a harder

690
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: thing to be like I need more of this or

691
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: I like to communicate those things, or to even be

692
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: aware like you're talking about like what I want, because

693
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: I'm so concerned usually with like my partner enjoying it,

694
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 1: that I haven't even been able to think about that

695
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,839
Speaker 1: that's gotten better with age. But I think that that's

696
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 1: a very common thing amongst women. So one talk me

697
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 1: through this age thing is that is that something at

698
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,439
Speaker 1: around the age of forty for women, And then two

699
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 1: would be how do we know what we want and

700
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: then ask for it? Um? Yeah, I want to I'll

701
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: give you both of those answers. Okay, First, I wanted

702
00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: to ask Chip, how you do um skame for what

703
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: you want? Um? Am? I good at it? Is that

704
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 1: what you're asking? Do you feel like you are able

705
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: to ask for what you want? I'm not. I know.

706
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm very good at it. Yeah. Yeah,

707
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a women's issue. I think it's people,

708
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: and I think we're all in this together, and this

709
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: allows us to bring our vulnerable hearts and realize that

710
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: none of us feel comfortable asking for what we want,

711
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 1: and none of us are quite getting everything we want,

712
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: and none of us are quite sure what we want.

713
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 1: One of the favorite things that people love about me

714
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: the most, I know that sounds so conceited, but I

715
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: don't care. I actually love that about you that you

716
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 1: just said that, So there you go. One of the

717
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:40,840
Speaker 1: things that people love about me the most is that

718
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: I give. I'm like a source of fun. I'm a

719
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: source of fun ideas because one of the things that

720
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: I found is that what people really want is ideas

721
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,359
Speaker 1: for having more fun and pleasure together. Erotic. I call

722
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: them erotic play dates. UM. One of the things it's

723
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: funny I do. I have it right here at home.

724
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: I think we moved it out of the background. But

725
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: I have this new UM, this new thing I'm working

726
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: on that's called a sexual self assessment. That you take

727
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,240
Speaker 1: this quiz if you will, you take this questionnaire and

728
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,719
Speaker 1: it asks you, you know, have you ever done any

729
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: have you done this? Have you done this? Have you

730
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 1: done would you be willing to do this? Would you

731
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: be willing to do this? Would be willing to do this?

732
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 1: Would be willing to do And then it gives you

733
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 1: this list of all of the things that you would

734
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: be interested in doing sexually, and then it has you

735
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: labeled them ABC. A is it's definitely going on my

736
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: sexual bucket list. B is I'd be open to doing it.

737
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 1: Is I'm not called to do it right now. It's

738
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: not on my bucket list. But if my partner wanted

739
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 1: me to do it with them, I would for sure

740
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 1: says do it with them and give them that as

741
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: a gift. That sounds good. And my c is, this

742
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: is not for me right now, although I would be

743
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 1: willing to consider it in the future, because you should

744
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: always be willing to consider everything becase should be surprised.

745
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 1: I where a laundry and like to gets banked. So

746
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 1: you know, it's we are evolving. If we're not, I mean,

747
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 1: if we're not evolving, what do we do? And we're dying?

748
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: So uh, then you end up with rank ordering the

749
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 1: things you want to try most, and there's your list

750
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: of things to work on with yourself or your Partner's

751
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: super fun. So when you're twenty, everything is new. It's

752
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: the blind leading the blind. You don't know what you're doing.

753
00:44:13,719 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 1: It's all pretty good. You want some more. You probably

754
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: don't have as much as you want, but you know

755
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:24,760
Speaker 1: you're discovering, you're having spirit. In your thirties, you're focusing

756
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 1: on your career, maybe you're having a family. You're kind

757
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: of build your your building time. By the time you

758
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: hit your four years, you've got a little bit of

759
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: a base and you're beginning to look at your mortality.

760
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: You see it coming in the distance. You see you

761
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: know Andrew pause, menopause. Uh, you see your You start

762
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: to look at your parents looking old and you're like, oh,

763
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 1: sheet it's now or never. By the time you get

764
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: to your fifties, you're like, it's not now or never,

765
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: but maybe I can push off dying, but I still

766
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: need to have great sex. And this is when people

767
00:44:57,680 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: start getting rid of the partner. This isn't satisfying in them.

768
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: They go back out into the dating world in this

769
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 1: time frame a lot and uh, you know, they're starting

770
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: over and there's a lot of fear, but there's a

771
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: lot of desire. By the time people get to their sixties,

772
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: they're usually quite proficient in bed. If they've kept up

773
00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: with their sexuality. They're starting to be more relaxed, more vulnerable.

774
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: They're starting to realize that they don't have to have

775
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: body image issues. They don't need to be perfect. That's

776
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: it's an impossible task, so let it go. I'll just

777
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 1: be who I am. And if you love me for that,

778
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I love you back, you know.

779
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 1: And then by the time your your seventies, if you've

780
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: kept yourself in good health, you're having some good sex

781
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: with your partner. By the time you're in your eighties,

782
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: you're like, look at Grandma and grandpa. Yes, so you

783
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 1: have this arc. So for your forties, you are starting

784
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: to realize that you don't know what you don't know.

785
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 1: You didn't get all the satisfaction you wanted. You'd like

786
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 1: to have more experiences. You want them to be on

787
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: your terms. And you're looking for partners or a partner.

788
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 1: It can be any number you Maybe you want to

789
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 1: get more experiences with more people. Maybe you don't and

790
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 1: you just want one partner. Maybe you want research partner.

791
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,920
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. Maybe this is where you're

792
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: you know, doing a new gender expression or whatever it

793
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: might be. You know, Oh no, I want to do Polly.

794
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: I want to date a bunch of people. You know,

795
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: you're you're more experimental because you're a little bit more

796
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: confident in yourself and your ability to deal with whatever happens.

797
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: You know in your heart that I'll be fine even

798
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: if it gets all screwed up. I'll be able to

799
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 1: manage through it. You've got that that sense of yourself.

800
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: And in your thirties also you're super judging. You're really judging.

801
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:50,839
Speaker 1: It's a it's a it's a time of individuation that

802
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: makes you very judgmental. By the time you get your forties,

803
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: that wanes a little bit. You like people better. It's crazy.

804
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: The ricks our hormones play on us. That's that's the stories.

805
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 1: By the time you're like, oh they're not so bad. Yeah,

806
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: you know what else everything to be perfect. Yeah. I

807
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: was just thinking too, there's a and I don't know

808
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: if this is like a societal thing or the age thing,

809
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: like I said, but there's a huge part of me

810
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 1: right now and this is just now happening to me.

811
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: And I'm almost forty, but that's like, Hey, there's these

812
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 1: parts of my body that were made for pleasure. And

813
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: why have I been not like like I think i've

814
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: almost maybe it's carried shame or maybe you know, we

815
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: grew up in the South and it's just like a

816
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: woman doesn't act a certain way and there's all these

817
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: like rules around sex, and like I said, a lot

818
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: of it for me has been around pleasing my partner,

819
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 1: Whereas now I'm like like really leaning into the fact

820
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: that I have these pleasure centers too, and I want

821
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:53,720
Speaker 1: to maximize this girl. You gotta get it. I mean, okay, Susan,

822
00:47:57,040 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 1: she's ready. Nothing come. My mom was like Jesus, that's

823
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: happening right now. Celibacy is over. I really do think

824
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: you should consider having a romance in Jamaica. It's not

825
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: gonna hurt you a bit. You don't need to be

826
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 1: intentionally celibate. You can be intentionally finding a lover that

827
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: you'll have fond memories about for the rest of your life.

828
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 1: And it can be just an incredible moment or a

829
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,719
Speaker 1: series of days that, um, you never forget, and they

830
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 1: could be a love of your life. And so, why

831
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 1: would you be putting all these conditions on your pleasure?

832
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 1: Why not? Why wouldn't you be just exalting in your

833
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: pleasure and offering pleasure and receiving pleasure and practicing those

834
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: things with someone. Yeah, that's an interesting thought. I'll think

835
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 1: about that. What is the second part of the question?

836
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 1: How do you ask for what you want? Oh? Yeah?

837
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 1: And so then how do you ask if I mean,

838
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 1: if you're pushing this Jamaica thing, I need to know

839
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: all right exactly? I know it's all me. I will

840
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: take all the boy fabulous that soaked weak in Jamaica

841
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: me Pandora's box. But I've not found Kelly's box. Kelly's box? Right, Wow,

842
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: how do we get here? So? How do we ask? Yes? Okay? So? Um,

843
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: one of my most popular books, and I've written more

844
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: than thirty five. I can't even keep up with them

845
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: in my bio. I don't even have the time to

846
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,919
Speaker 1: count them all up. But one of them is called

847
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 1: sexual soul Mates the six Essentials for Connected Sex, and

848
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: uh in that one of the six essentials is the

849
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: communication technique for all communication techniques, and it's called the

850
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: sexual Soulmate Packed like an agreement, A P A C. T.

851
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 1: I give it away for free at sexual soulmate packed

852
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: dot com. So if you like this, you can download it,

853
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: because there's more nuance than I'll be able to get

854
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:18,040
Speaker 1: to in a podcast. But essentially, you download it, you

855
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: read it, you give it to your lover, they read it,

856
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 1: you have the discussion about the agreement, you make the agreement,

857
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: and you agree to try it and practice it. And

858
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: it's essentially this the we live in a we live

859
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: in a body. We are Homo sapiens. And I've already

860
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: established the fact that though one of us has an

861
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: XX chromosome and the other has an X y, we

862
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 1: have all the same parts arranged in different order. Some

863
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 1: of us are lucky enough to have a little bit

864
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 1: more testosterone on a daily basis than others of us,

865
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: but we all want sex. We all have pleasure circuits.

866
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: We all have a rectile tissue. We all want to

867
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: be loved and connected with and well fucked and well combed.

868
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 1: That's what we want. And yet the Homo sapien, if

869
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 1: you look in the tree of life with all of

870
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 1: the animals, there's the dolphins and the whales, and the

871
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 1: puppies and the ponies, and the bacterias and ladybugs and

872
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 1: all those things. There's a branch on that tree that's

873
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 1: called the great Ape. There's the bonobos and the chimpanzees

874
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: and the orangutans, and the Homo sapiens. That be you

875
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: and that be me. We beat a monkeys into tree.

876
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: So we live in an animal body. We are not

877
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 1: above the animal kingdom. We are in the animal kingdom.

878
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 1: We are animals. And when we are animals, it means

879
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 1: that our bodies are run on hormones, blood, sugar, how

880
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 1: much sleep we got, whether we're depressed or not, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

881
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: And that is a constantly moving target about how much

882
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 1: energy we have and how we feel. Okay, that impacts

883
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: what we want our sex to be like in that date,

884
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: in that date, that sex state, or in that moment.

885
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: In that sex state, you could start out feeling vulnerable,

886
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:13,760
Speaker 1: a little bit low, a little quiet, a little introspective,

887
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 1: and you could be held and loved and kissed and stroked,

888
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: and then your fluids can start to run, and then

889
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 1: you can let go of some emotion, and then you

890
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 1: can connect your hearts together, and then you can start

891
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: making out, and then you can start feeling more turn on,

892
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: and then you can say, okay, now I would like

893
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:43,760
Speaker 1: to have my feet rubbed, my dick sucked, my back, rubbed,

894
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: my whatever. You know, you can say what your body

895
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 1: wants because it talks to you all the time. You

896
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 1: always know, oh god, I got a fart coming out.

897
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 1: Oh man, my right toe, I heard it so bad

898
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 1: the other day, stubbing it. You always are scanning your

899
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: body and knowing what's going on. So all you have

900
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 1: to do is understand that you and your partner are

901
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:09,280
Speaker 1: these little animals that are constantly changing, and that all

902
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: that you need to do is feed each other the

903
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 1: information to know what the body is asking for and

904
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: what it wants in the moment your partner's wanting to

905
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: give you this. They just need the clues, and they

906
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 1: can't read your mind. So you must use your mouth,

907
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:28,440
Speaker 1: and I call it reporting in from your animal. You

908
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: live in this body. It is your job because you

909
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: have the mouth to say to your partner what the

910
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 1: body is asking for. And it changes constantly. Oh now

911
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 1: I want this, Oh now I want that, a little higher,

912
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 1: a little lower? Can you twingle my right nipple harder?

913
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 1: You know, whatever it might be. The more feedback that

914
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:49,399
Speaker 1: you can give to your partner, the more that they

915
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 1: can do a great job. The masculine especially wants he

916
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: wants to win. He wants you to respect him for

917
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 1: the great job job that he does. He needs that feedback,

918
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:06,400
Speaker 1: but he fights you for it because the testosterone coursing

919
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:08,919
Speaker 1: through his body makes him think he's better in bed

920
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 1: than he is. And the masculine culture. This is from

921
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 1: my friend Dr Terry Real. Terry explains that women are

922
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: tribal and they have community and they work together. Men

923
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 1: work in a packing order, and if you say something

924
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 1: to them that they can strew as criticism, which is

925
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: pretty much any feedback you give them, then they feel

926
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 1: like you just made them go down in the packing order,

927
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 1: and then they fall apart and get emotionally flooded and

928
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 1: they check out. And they're overwhelmed. And so if a

929
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 1: guy understands, oh, I see that's the packing order. That's

930
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: not me. I want the feedback. It's just your body.

931
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything wrong. You're actually giving me what

932
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,520
Speaker 1: I need to do a great job. I get that.

933
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,720
Speaker 1: And not only that, when you give me the feedback,

934
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna literally thank you when you thank a person,

935
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,959
Speaker 1: especially the feminine, because and I'm not saying man or woman,

936
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 1: I'm saying the masculine, feminine now right, the feminine. The

937
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: feminine needs encouragement because the feminine has been so subjugated.

938
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: She needs you to pull her out. She needs you

939
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 1: to know it's oh. She needs to know it's okay

940
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: with you if she tells you things. And so when

941
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 1: you thank her, thank you baby, how is this you know?

942
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 1: That lets her know it's okay to say things to you.

943
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter where you are on the gender spectrum.

944
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 1: But we all need both of those things. We don't

945
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,280
Speaker 1: want to do anything wrong. We want to be the winners.

946
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 1: We want to be respected and appreciated. We also want

947
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 1: to be adored and encouraged and found sexually irresistible, And

948
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 1: we want those things constantly all the time during our

949
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: love making with each other. So the sexual soul made

950
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 1: pact is the agreement that I'm gonna listen to my

951
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:11,439
Speaker 1: little animal tell you what he or she wants. You're

952
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 1: going to thank me for that and do a course correction,

953
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 1: or we're gonna do something different or letter or softer

954
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: or up or down or whatever it is, and thank

955
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:24,240
Speaker 1: you for telling me. Thank you for trusting to give

956
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 1: me what I need to know to give you the

957
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: pleasure I want to give you. I love that thank

958
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,719
Speaker 1: you because I think that that really helps it not

959
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: become criticism. And also it's like I was thinking about,

960
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: like in long term relationships, it's like you kind of learn,

961
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: you know, the thing that gets the person off or

962
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 1: like it's like, and so then you get stuck in

963
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 1: these ruts of just doing that, like let's just go

964
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 1: back to that one move, and eventually that gets really boring.

965
00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 1: And I like what you're saying about, Like our bodies

966
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,239
Speaker 1: are is different, and so especially with women, the way

967
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:05,800
Speaker 1: our hormones work, it's like certain times certain touch feels

968
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 1: good and certain times other touch feels good, and so

969
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what it feels like to be a man,

970
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 1: but I would imagine they're similar. Good mix, it feels good. Yeah. Yeah,

971
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: But I think that that is such a good, easy

972
00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:23,480
Speaker 1: communication tip that that actually could make it really exciting

973
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 1: to share with your partner. Like when you're just like,

974
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:29,400
Speaker 1: hey this, you know, add this to the regiment, they

975
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 1: say thank you. Um my ups, guy just came as

976
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 1: I'm talking about what's happening in here. Yeah. But I

977
00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: just like that because then there's no shame. It's not

978
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 1: like you're doing something wrong. It's just like, hey, my

979
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 1: body wants something different today. Yeah, I have a question. Um.

980
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 1: You know, Kelly and I are both single, so a

981
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 1: lot of what we've talked about today has sort of

982
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: been from the perspective of, like, you know, you have

983
00:57:56,080 --> 00:58:01,200
Speaker 1: a partner, so, um, how do you arrive sexual encounter

984
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 1: as a single person. Maybe it is like a weekend

985
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 1: thing that Kelly is going to have in Jamaican. Maybe

986
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: it's a one night fan. Maybe it is like the

987
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 1: first time you're having sex with someone that you've been dating, Like, um,

988
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: how do you arrive at those opportunities or those moments,

989
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 1: um and make them like not sound like a freak?

990
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know a better way to Like. Yeah,

991
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 1: if I start, if I went to have sex with

992
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: someone that had like your level of knowledge and talked

993
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 1: the way, I would be so freaked out. I'd be

994
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 1: like I am in kindergarten, you know. So how do

995
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:42,919
Speaker 1: you break down those that comfortability, those walls? Yeah? Um,

996
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 1: I think there's a couple of things. Number One, you

997
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 1: can say to them, Um, you know, we're really just

998
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,440
Speaker 1: it's our first time together, so let's have low expectations

999
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 1: and high laughs. Number One, you want to diffuse the energy. Um.

1000
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 1: The second thing you want to say is I love feedback,

1001
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: and I want you to tell me anything and everything

1002
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: all the time. I am always here for you and

1003
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,919
Speaker 1: your pleasure, and the more that you tell me things,

1004
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 1: the more I'll thank you and be happy with it.

1005
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 1: So don't worry about giving me any feedback at all,

1006
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: because we just don't know each other. We don't know

1007
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: what kind of touch we like, we don't know anything. Um.

1008
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: The second thing is that I think slowing down is

1009
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 1: very important. You know, we were talking very early in

1010
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 1: the episode about friction versus connection, and uh, if we're

1011
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 1: just having performative sex, I'm just going to stick my

1012
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: slot a into your tab b. Then you miss the

1013
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 1: joy of the connection. And I think slowing down and

1014
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 1: having a lot of time for talking and holding and

1015
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 1: stroking and connecting and exploring each other's bodies and expressing

1016
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: verbal appreciation for their attractiveness to you. I really love

1017
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: this about you. Um. I love I love your hair.

1018
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 1: I love the way you have it tipped blonde on

1019
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:04,640
Speaker 1: the end. Your your face is so handsome and masculine

1020
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: and and and beautiful. And um, I love your voice.

1021
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: The sound of your voice is so nice, and um

1022
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,479
Speaker 1: you just are so easy to be with and such

1023
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,240
Speaker 1: a such You seem like such a kind spirit. I'm

1024
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:19,240
Speaker 1: really enjoying just relaxing with you. I'm sorry, Susan, are

1025
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 1: you kidding on tip right now? I'm so. I just

1026
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:27,640
Speaker 1: I just I was watching this happen I just needed

1027
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 1: to point it out to the listeners the same room. Okay,

1028
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 1: I am a fabulous flirt. I mean, she's a pro.

1029
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 1: She just heard me straight. I never thought i'd see

1030
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 1: the day. Don't worry, Chip, I'm super switchy. Well, when

1031
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,440
Speaker 1: you get really good at sex, you can run the

1032
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: whole spectrum. And I think that's another thing that you

1033
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: can look forward to with your practice for sexuality. But

1034
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 1: the tips for first time sex are what's off limits?

1035
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 1: What what do you like to do? What would you

1036
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 1: like to do with me? Now? Any ideas you know,

1037
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 1: throw down some offers. Um, let's make it a safe space.

1038
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 1: Let's let's communicate and learn each other and appreciate each

1039
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 1: other and co create some joy and you know, tell

1040
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 1: me anything, I'm good. Uh. That kind of stuff can

1041
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: really bring people, you know down in their worry because

1042
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 1: there as worried as you are. And then a lot

1043
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: of grounding touch, a lot of touching, squeezing, weight, hands on,

1044
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 1: you know, holding you down so you don't fly away

1045
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: and your fears can be very good. Sensual massage is

1046
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:56,160
Speaker 1: a great place to start with a person. It's it's

1047
01:01:56,200 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 1: body exploration, grounding and co regular Asian. Yeah, so that

1048
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: helps a lot too. I love how slow all of

1049
01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,480
Speaker 1: that sounds, because I think that's something at the beginning

1050
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: of a relationship or with a new person we do

1051
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 1: better at and then you kind of like skip that

1052
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 1: piece later. And for a woman that is like the

1053
01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 1: biggest turn on is all of the things you just described,

1054
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,320
Speaker 1: the body touch, the sensual nature, even if it was

1055
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 1: a massage or anything like that, Like that really does help.

1056
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 1: I think a woman get really turned on into the

1057
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: place that maybe a man can get a little bit quicker. Well,

1058
01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 1: he's ready to go because he's discoster and dominant. He

1059
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 1: got that hard on right away, so he's much more

1060
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 1: ready to go. That being said, men are as desirous

1061
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 1: for intimate connection, heart connection, love, slowness, sensuality as the

1062
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 1: feminine is, as the woman is. Um, men are really

1063
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 1: very similar to us as women. UM. I think men

1064
01:02:53,800 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 1: get a lot of um, you know, like we make

1065
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: fun of them, you know, they're only unit to good

1066
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: all for whatever, but that that's not actually really true.

1067
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 1: Men have hearts as big as as ours as the woman.

1068
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:11,160
Speaker 1: So it's um creating a place for them to have

1069
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 1: that too and showing them the pathway to it that

1070
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 1: they appreciate very much. Yeah, just letting go that old programming.

1071
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:19,439
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I just don't think that that's

1072
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: really how men are wired. And it's just been the

1073
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 1: way our society has created that mentality. And well, we

1074
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 1: raise them and we say to them, you're don't don't cry,

1075
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,120
Speaker 1: don't be a baby choker, right, you know, like we

1076
01:03:30,200 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 1: take the emotion out of them. For a lot of men,

1077
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:37,720
Speaker 1: they've never had any emotional expression beyond anger victim hood.

1078
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 1: Uh you know that that's like the only ones they

1079
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 1: get to have, which is shitty, so shitty to be

1080
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:51,479
Speaker 1: on the other side of too of us. Yeah yeah, yeah.

1081
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 1: So the more we as women as lovers to men

1082
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:59,360
Speaker 1: can help heal their wounds of being cut off from

1083
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 1: their emotional expression and help them find their words and

1084
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:07,760
Speaker 1: express themselves and understand that they're just like us. They

1085
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:11,320
Speaker 1: just didn't even get the benefits of having emotional expression

1086
01:04:11,720 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 1: and giving that for them. Susan, thank you so much.

1087
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:16,480
Speaker 1: I feel like I could talk to you all day,

1088
01:04:16,520 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: so we might just have to have you back on MACA.

1089
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: I have some things to do. Um, where can people

1090
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:28,919
Speaker 1: find you? Because I know you have so many amazing resources,

1091
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,680
Speaker 1: Like we've discussed a couple but you have tons, tons

1092
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:35,080
Speaker 1: of books, tons of different programs people can download. So

1093
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 1: where can people find you? That's the easiest access to

1094
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,720
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. Well, if you go to personal

1095
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: life Media, that's a good place. Um. I'm Susan Bratton

1096
01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:48,720
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I have a website called better Lover with

1097
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:52,280
Speaker 1: hundreds of free videos on any subject you could imagine

1098
01:04:52,280 --> 01:04:54,200
Speaker 1: if you like the sound of what I've said so far,

1099
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 1: there's a lots more um. And then of course we

1100
01:04:58,160 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 1: talked about the sexual on my packed dot com. We

1101
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 1: talked about magic pill method dot com, and we talked

1102
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:09,600
Speaker 1: about tuning fork tip dot com and I don't know

1103
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 1: if it's tip or tips, but try want and it's

1104
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:16,760
Speaker 1: not a thees Um. Those are three good things to

1105
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 1: get you started if if they appeal to you. And

1106
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,040
Speaker 1: there's plenty more where that came from. So thank you

1107
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 1: for having me. I really enjoyed being on your show

1108
01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 1: with both of you, and it was a lot of fun,

1109
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:32,400
Speaker 1: so informative and so fun. I think this is such

1110
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,960
Speaker 1: an important topics. I'm so glad that you're really talking

1111
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 1: about this. But we just need to learn about this

1112
01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 1: like we're learning about everything else, y'all. It's a part

1113
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 1: of growth. Let's lean in, all right, Susan, thank you

1114
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,680
Speaker 1: so much for being here, and thank you guys for listening.