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Speaker 1: All right, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on sex, on dating, work, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM.

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Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: and we'll get it. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now today and welcome up, Hold on,

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Speaker 1: take let's go baby. Here it is Strawberry Letter. All right. Subject,

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Speaker 1: My husband is raising my boyfriend's son. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to jump right in and get to it.

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Speaker 1: I'm married and he's married. We both have families. I

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Speaker 1: have three kids and he has four kids. One of

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Speaker 1: my kids is his. Our affair has been going on

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Speaker 1: for eleven years and now we have a two year

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Speaker 1: old son. He left me when I told him that

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Speaker 1: I was pregnant. We both agreed for me to terminate

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Speaker 1: the pregnancy, but he refused to give me the money.

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Speaker 1: So I changed my mind because deep down I want

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Speaker 1: it another child. I know it's his son because but

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Speaker 1: he questioned it. I did a sibling test to confirm

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Speaker 1: that my husband could not be the father. The two

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Speaker 1: year old looks just like his real daddy and his

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Speaker 1: real daddy's other kids. I'm writing this letter because my

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Speaker 1: conscience is eating me alive. Every time that I look

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Speaker 1: at my son, I know that I am living alive

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Speaker 1: that could destroy my son's life and two families. His

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Speaker 1: daddy acts like he does not exist, and that makes

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Speaker 1: me so angry, and I want to come clean and

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Speaker 1: get it off my chest. We both were in this affair,

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Speaker 1: and we both made this child. I am ready to

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Speaker 1: tell my husband and his wife about our affair and

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Speaker 1: my son. It has taken me two years to come

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Speaker 1: to terms with what might happen when I tell the truth.

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Speaker 1: Am I wrong for wanting to put an end to

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Speaker 1: these lies? To the lies? Should I let my husband

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Speaker 1: raise another man's child? I've been a nervous wreck. Please

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Speaker 1: help me figure this out. What you asked? Should you

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Speaker 1: let your husband raise another man's child? But isn't that

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Speaker 1: what you've been doing for the last couple of years.

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Speaker 1: Your husband has been raising another man's child. Uh, the

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Speaker 1: lies are endless here. You've been with this man for

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Speaker 1: eleven years. Eleven years you've been having an affair on

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Speaker 1: your husband, and this man on his wife. He got

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Speaker 1: mad when you got pregnant, refused to give you the

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Speaker 1: money to terminate it, and deep down inside you wanted

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Speaker 1: another child anyway, So that's what you did. And and

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Speaker 1: I mean you just kept the lie going and going

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Speaker 1: and going and going. You say, he questions the fact

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Speaker 1: that it is his son. You did a sibling test

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Speaker 1: to confirm that your husband is not the father. I

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Speaker 1: think you're you're wanting to come clean for all the

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Speaker 1: wrong and most selfish of reasons. Here, you will be

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Speaker 1: destroying everything you will best your marriage, his marriage, your

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Speaker 1: kids lives. I mean not destroying their lives, but I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, once they find out this is a lie,

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Speaker 1: this is this is so many lives are involved in

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Speaker 1: all of this. And just because you're mad at your

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Speaker 1: baby daddy, I mean, really, do you realize what you

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Speaker 1: have done with all of this because you're mad at him,

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Speaker 1: This eleven year affair, everything, I mean, this is just

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Speaker 1: so wrong on every level. You know, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how you're gonna come clean and tell your husband this,

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Speaker 1: and and he stayed there and forgive you in all

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Speaker 1: of those things. What do you want to happen? You

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Speaker 1: just want to end the lies to get some relief

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Speaker 1: for yourself, But you're going to destroy all these other

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Speaker 1: people's lives. You're not wrong for wanting to put an

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Speaker 1: end to the lies, but you know who. No one

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Speaker 1: should want to have to live with these kinds of lives.

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Speaker 1: But doing this, you're going to destroy so many people,

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Speaker 1: and including your your your your son once he finds

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Speaker 1: out that the man he thinks is his dad isn't

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Speaker 1: really his dad. I mean, the lies are endless here.

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Speaker 1: You've told one lie after another after another after another.

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Speaker 1: Uh this you say, please help you figure this out.

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Speaker 1: This is a hard one to figure out, and I

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Speaker 1: bet you have been a nervous wreck. But you you

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Speaker 1: did this, I mean for eleven years now, for eleven years.

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Speaker 1: I just feel sorry for your kids, your husband, uh

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Speaker 1: the wife, and this two year old son that you

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Speaker 1: have with this man. Steve. I have a problem here

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Speaker 1: because yesterday I let Tommy do the letter and Junior

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Speaker 1: begging me, uncle, oh can I do a letter now, Junior?

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Speaker 1: This one I think might be a lot heavy for you. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is heavy for everybody. I wouldn't have done this, ye, Julie.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm sitting over here like this is

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Speaker 1: not the one I want to do. All right, man, man,

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Speaker 1: this is a very difficult letter. Yea, it is. I

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Speaker 1: don't have any jokes for this, so let me just

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Speaker 1: get to it because I'm let me jump right into it.

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Speaker 1: Is how she started best start of a letter I've

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Speaker 1: ever had through. I want him this lady to know

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Speaker 1: I really respect her. Just coming clean, let me just

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Speaker 1: jump right into it. I'm married, he married. We both

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Speaker 1: got families. I got three kids, he got folk. One

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Speaker 1: of my kids is his our fab been going on

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Speaker 1: for eleven years and now you got two year old.

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Speaker 1: So then after you told him he was pregnant, he

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Speaker 1: left you. See, this is where you start to find

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Speaker 1: out how stank a dude really is. Not only thank

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Speaker 1: for the eleven year fan. But now let me explain

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Speaker 1: to you what you was having in a fan with.

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Speaker 1: You was having a fan with a man who, once

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Speaker 1: you told him you was pregnant, he left you. You

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Speaker 1: have a two year old son. He left when you

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Speaker 1: told him he was pregnant, and then both of you

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Speaker 1: agreed to terminate the pregnancy, but he refused to give

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Speaker 1: me the money. How does that work? We both agreed

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Speaker 1: to terminate the pregnancy, and then he refused to give

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Speaker 1: me the money. Well, hold on, Steve, hold it right there. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we got to take a break right here. We'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hours. Subject my husband is raising my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend's son. Yeah, this is a mess right here. We'll

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Speaker 1: be back at twenty three minutes after the hour right

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Speaker 1: after this. You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject my husband is raising my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend's son. Wow, because this woman is married, she's dating

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Speaker 1: a man that married. They got kids. They both have families.

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Speaker 1: She got three kids, he got four, and one of

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Speaker 1: her kids is he is the fabric going on eleven years.

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Speaker 1: They got a two year old son. As soon as

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Speaker 1: she told his married dude, who she's married too, that

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Speaker 1: she was pregnant, he left her. But before he left,

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Speaker 1: they both agreed to terminate the pregnancy, and then he

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Speaker 1: refused to give me the money. This dude trifling on

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Speaker 1: a lot of levels. You do know you are too,

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Speaker 1: but this dude's trifling. This goes to a whole nother level.

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Speaker 1: So I changed my mind. Because deep down I wanted

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Speaker 1: another child. I know it's his son, but he questions it.

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Speaker 1: Then I did a sibling test to confirm that my

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Speaker 1: husband could not be the father. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: that means, sibling test. I don't know what that is.

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Speaker 1: Yea neither? Yeah? Sibling? Do you all look just like

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Speaker 1: his real daddy and his real daddy's other kids. Now

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Speaker 1: you're writing this letter because you say your conscious is

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Speaker 1: eating you a lie. Every time I look at my son,

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Speaker 1: I know that I'm living a lie and that that

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Speaker 1: could destroy my son's life and two families. Then you

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Speaker 1: mad because his daddy act like he does not exist,

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Speaker 1: and that makes me so angry. The reason he don't

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Speaker 1: act like he don't exist it is because he questioned

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Speaker 1: it any beginning, whether it was his or not. Then

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Speaker 1: he refused to pay the money for the terminate the pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: and then he left you when he was pregnant. Why

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Speaker 1: are you angry? Now? He trifling? Everything he's done is trifling,

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Speaker 1: and all of a sudden you want him to be

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Speaker 1: what righteous? Here's your problem? The man act like he

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Speaker 1: don't exist, and that makes you angry, and I want

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Speaker 1: to come clean and get it off of my chest.

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Speaker 1: We both were in this affair, and we both made

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Speaker 1: this child. I am here we go. Listen to this.

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Speaker 1: I am ready to tell my husband and his wife

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Speaker 1: about our fair. Well, listen to me, lady. You might

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Speaker 1: not be able to tell both people. This could end

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Speaker 1: very ugly. You have to make the announcement to one. See,

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Speaker 1: if you go over there and tell his wife, she

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Speaker 1: could do something to you. And if you're going there

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Speaker 1: and tell your husband, he might do something to you.

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Speaker 1: So you're in a tough spot. Yeah, it's taking you

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Speaker 1: two years to come to terms with what might happen

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Speaker 1: when I tell the truth? Am I wrong for wanting

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Speaker 1: to put it into the lies? Should I let my

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Speaker 1: husband raise another man's child? Been a nervous rank? Please

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Speaker 1: help me figure this out. Hell, you need this letter, boy.

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Speaker 1: We have so many problems here because if you go

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Speaker 1: and tell your husband, this could end your family. If

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Speaker 1: you tell his wife, it could end their family. And

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Speaker 1: then your son is still left with a father who

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Speaker 1: wants nothing to do with him. So, now, if this

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Speaker 1: man wants nothing to do with him and you destroy

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Speaker 1: your family, who has a man who's raising this boy

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Speaker 1: in it? And the real daddy don't want to have

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. But then the ugliness that

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Speaker 1: you got this man raising another man's child. That's the quandry.

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Speaker 1: You are here because I want you to go for

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Speaker 1: the son's sake, be quiet, so he can have a

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Speaker 1: father in this life. But then I feel bad because, Wow,

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Speaker 1: this dude is fitting the bill, thinking he got something

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Speaker 1: that ain't really his. That boy belongs to you and

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Speaker 1: another man. And Steve, don't you think the reason she

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Speaker 1: wants to tell him is so wrong too, just because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be a part of the kid's life.

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Speaker 1: It's all anger. But she also I truly believe that

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Speaker 1: this woman is torn up on the inside. I bet

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Speaker 1: she is. I truly believe that. And it is a

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Speaker 1: horrible thing to know that this is not this man's boy,

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Speaker 1: and you got this man raising him with that line.

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Speaker 1: But if you love the man so much, you was

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Speaker 1: with another man for eleven year eleven years, So I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how you so concerned with the

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Speaker 1: fact that he raising this boy that's not his when

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Speaker 1: you was passing out your cookie that he thought was his.

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Speaker 1: So you got a problem, ma'am. Just really ain't a joke.

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Speaker 1: Letter right here. You have a real situation. I think

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Speaker 1: that because it's such a long deceit, this man should

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Speaker 1: take care of his kids, but he don't want to.

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Speaker 1: And then he has a father that thinks he is

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Speaker 1: the father and he's taking care of him. So I

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Speaker 1: hate to ruin the boy's life and he end up

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Speaker 1: with no daddy at all. Soul, you may have to

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Speaker 1: care as latigue. Wow. Yeah, yeah, because that man comes

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Speaker 1: around and goes, I want to take care of my son,

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Speaker 1: but as long as he had denial, man, I think

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Speaker 1: you should lead a leave his dirty ass over there.

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Speaker 1: All right. You can post your comments on today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey at FM, on Instagram and Facebook,

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Speaker 1: and forget to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on

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Speaker 1: demand now coming up at forty six minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Sex trafficking. We know that it is major in this

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Speaker 1: country and around the world. We're going to delve into

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Speaker 1: that and talk about it when we come back at

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Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour. Right after this, you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show