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Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.

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Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God and

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Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the

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Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming

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Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman

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Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,

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Speaker 2: MANDYB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and B

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Speaker 2: Money podcast with taking Jay Valentine.

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Speaker 1: We got the Women of All.

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Speaker 2: Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts, we got Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: Carrie Champion will be there with her next sports podcast,

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Speaker 2: and the Trap Nerds podcast with more to be announced.

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Speaker 2: And of course it's bigger than podcasts. We're bringing the

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Speaker 2: Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses, plus the food

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Speaker 2: truck court to keep you fed while you visit us.

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Speaker 2: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap

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Speaker 2: in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot

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Speaker 2: Com Flash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Naked Sports, the podcast where we live at

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Speaker 3: the intersection of sports, politics, and culture. Our purpose reveal

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Speaker 3: the common threads that bind them all. So what's happening

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Speaker 3: in women's basketball right now now is what we've been

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Speaker 3: trying to get to for almost thirty years. From the

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Speaker 3: stadiums where athlete break barriers and set records. Kynon Clark

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Speaker 3: broke the all time single game assist record.

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Speaker 1: This is crazy for rookies to be doing.

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Speaker 3: Our discussions will uncover the vital connections between these realms

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Speaker 3: and the community we create. In each episode, we'll sit

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Speaker 3: down with athletes, political analysts, and culture critics because at

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Speaker 3: the core of it all, how we see one issue

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Speaker 3: shines the light on all others. Welcome to Naked Sports.

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Speaker 3: I'm your host, Carrie Champion. Hey, everybody, welcome to another

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Speaker 3: edition in Naked Sports. So glad that you were here.

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Speaker 3: So I'd like to do an introduction for my guests.

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Speaker 3: He will introduce himself as well. But I want to

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Speaker 3: tell you the thought at least the thought process for

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Speaker 3: me behind today's podcast. I know we live at the

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Speaker 3: intersection of sports, politics, and culture, but what I wanted

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Speaker 3: to do was really talk to someone who has lived

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Speaker 3: a life that lives at those intersections. My next guest,

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Speaker 3: and I'll just tell you who he is is Hill Harper.

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Speaker 3: He's an actor, he is he's a father, you know

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Speaker 3: all of the things. He's written several books New York

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Speaker 3: Times bestsellers. He will tell you that. But he is

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Speaker 3: also a man of the people. I refer to him

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Speaker 3: as a renaissance man. He has lived a lot of life,

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Speaker 3: and his perspective on the culture and where we are,

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Speaker 3: especially interpersonal relationships, was interesting to me. I find myself

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Speaker 3: hearing more and more often that people are giving up

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Speaker 3: on love, like they are tired of love. And I

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Speaker 3: don't know if it's the climate of the world that

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Speaker 3: we live in today, or just that it's difficult to

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Speaker 3: be open. I don't know if social media has anything

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Speaker 3: to do with it. I don't know why we are

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Speaker 3: we as a society feel more comfortable with being lonely

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Speaker 3: and on the inside and not necessarily being outside and

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Speaker 3: talking to others and making friends. Some people would say

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Speaker 3: it's social media. I don't know. But what I do

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Speaker 3: know is that I hear more and more lately, and

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Speaker 3: I think I get out and I talk to the people,

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Speaker 3: and I kiss the hood and I talk to folks,

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Speaker 3: and I'm hearing no matter whom you are, no matter

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Speaker 3: what your class is, your background is, women just don't understand.

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Speaker 3: It's hard to date. Men just don't understand. They're unrealistic,

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Speaker 3: they're not mature. Women want too much. And I always

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Speaker 3: think I'm hearing the same things over and over again.

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Speaker 3: And then I also know, just from the life that

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Speaker 3: I've lived, our perceptions of everyone has everything to do

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Speaker 3: with how we're raised, what we consume, what we read,

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Speaker 3: who we interact with. And today I wanted to talk

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Speaker 3: to Hill Harper about fatherhood, relationships, personal and professional, debunking

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Speaker 3: certain myths, if you will. But it's really interesting to

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Speaker 3: me because this conversation and I'll get even more more specific,

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Speaker 3: this conversation about black men and black women in black

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Speaker 3: love at the forefront of my mind because I am

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Speaker 3: a black woman, and so I ask Hill some questions

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Speaker 3: about fatherhood and relationships and it's really interesting. And I'd

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Speaker 3: love for you all to leave your feedback and the

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Speaker 3: comments tell me what you think. But at the end

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Speaker 3: of the day, my hope is that we see more love.

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Speaker 3: That is what my wish is for you, for me,

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Speaker 3: for everyone, more love. Sit back, relax and enjoy this

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Speaker 3: edition of Naked Sports.

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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, I'm Hill Harper. I am a father first

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Speaker 1: to a young brilliant king named Pierce Hill Harper, nine

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Speaker 1: years old, third grade, going on thirty nine years old.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I'm an actor, I'm an author, I'm

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Speaker 1: an activist, philanthropist, someone who's just trying to keep my

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Speaker 1: heart open, just trying to keep my heart open all

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Speaker 1: the time. And I'm trying to figure out new and

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Speaker 1: different ways to fail, because when I'm failing, then I

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Speaker 1: am winning.

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Speaker 3: Hill Harper, Welcome to Naked Sports. We're fully closed.

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Speaker 1: We are. I was expecting something a little.

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Speaker 3: Different, a little more sass here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was expected a little but yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: we got the Maya Angelou in the Tupac book, in

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Speaker 1: the Black Mecha. I don't I don't see any of

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Speaker 1: my books on the shelf. I do not see any

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Speaker 1: of my books. I believe as a four time New

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Speaker 1: York Times bestselling author, and I think I think my

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Speaker 1: books have sold more than those books. But I'm just

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Speaker 1: saying it curs more young brothers. But it's okay, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: Maybe my book someday will make it on the Naked

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Speaker 1: Sports shelf.

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Speaker 3: Okay, First and foremost, something, while you're calling us out,

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Speaker 3: this is the interior. The decorations that were here, prior

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Speaker 3: to me even arriving. Remember I told you my first

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Speaker 3: time using this studio. Oh I thought this was But

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Speaker 3: I love how it is in motif of my life

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Speaker 3: and who I am. You should be next.

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Speaker 1: I love the fact that you're choosing studios that actually

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Speaker 1: stop black books. Here we got we gotta celebrate j J.

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Speaker 1: Jay hood on, he got that at the original first concert.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't even look that old.

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Speaker 3: Don't put me in.

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Speaker 1: Jay does not look old enough to have gone to

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Speaker 1: see Selena.

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Speaker 3: Jay is twenty two. Have you heard of Selena at

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Speaker 3: twenty two years old?

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Speaker 1: Come on, Jay? How old would Selena be today?

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Speaker 3: I don't know?

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Speaker 1: Do we know?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: If Jay tell us just look it up real quick.

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Speaker 3: It is fifty two? How old was?

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Speaker 1: How old would Selena be today?

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Speaker 3: I just said fifty two? I made that up.

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Speaker 1: Fifty two. I'm gonna guess she would be forty seven.

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Speaker 1: That's my guess. I'm literally just guessing.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, you're probably right, because you're really smart. Next

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Speaker 3: time Jay J put one of his books in, I

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Speaker 3: mean could agree. Wow, And I threw that number out there.

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Speaker 3: I had no idea what I was saying. Okay, that's

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Speaker 3: first and foremost I like to say this so everyone

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Speaker 3: knows you are my friend. Right, So we are doing

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Speaker 3: this interview under the pretense like I have just met you,

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Speaker 3: but I have not. I've known you for some time.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember when we first met?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: You don't. No, I don't I remember you do? It

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Speaker 3: was it was forget Was it a forgetful time?

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Speaker 1: It wasn't forgetful. I just meet a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: but nobody like you. Let me just say that. But so,

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Speaker 1: so here's the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing.

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Speaker 3: I I.

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Speaker 1: Meeting someone's transient Okay, interacting and actually connecting with someone

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Speaker 1: I remember, and so like that's so, I remember when

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Speaker 1: I had the first meaningful conversation I ever had with you?

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Speaker 1: I don't remember the first time. It's like, Hi, nice

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Speaker 1: to meet you in in Queens.

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Speaker 3: Okay? What did we talk about?

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Speaker 1: Talked about the world, talked about life, talked about goals, dreams, aspirations,

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Speaker 1: talked about manifesting.

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Speaker 3: Has anything changed since that last conversation for you?

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Speaker 1: A lot, A lot a lot has changed because it

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Speaker 1: changes all the time. I think that I think that

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Speaker 1: we are all of us are on a journey where

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Speaker 1: we're evolving and things are changing. I mean, look at

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Speaker 1: this world. Look at the world we're in right now.

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Speaker 1: The world is changing rapidly, I mean so fast.

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Speaker 3: The reason why I ask you that the election hadn't

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Speaker 3: happened when we met. That's right, this the presidential election

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Speaker 3: had not happened. You were the way I remember it,

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Speaker 3: and I just want to bring everybody in the way

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Speaker 3: I remember it. You were You were running for Senate,

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Speaker 3: right are you. Yeah, you were going to you had

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Speaker 3: even started, and you were flying all over the world.

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Speaker 3: As you are, You're a very busy man, but you

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Speaker 3: were very intentional about connecting with people that you thought

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Speaker 3: were like minded. That is one thing that I think

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Speaker 3: is so important in today's in today's society, we got

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Speaker 3: to find our tribe, and so I felt like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it was like smart. I've always admired you from Afar.

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Speaker 3: I always thought that you and I'm sure you get

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Speaker 3: this often.

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Speaker 1: Where's the first time we met? Don't skip over that

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Speaker 1: in Queens. That was the first time. Yeah, I thought

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Speaker 1: we had met before. No, I thought you were saying

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Speaker 1: I thought you say, do you remember the first time

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Speaker 1: we met? No, that was the first time we met. Yeah, Oh,

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Speaker 1: I thought we'd met like in passing itself.

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Speaker 3: No, never, not to my knowledge, I don't. I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: remember either because I meet a lot of people, so

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't remember.

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Speaker 1: Okay, good, So I do remember the first time we

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Speaker 1: met in Queens, Queens.

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Speaker 3: I met you in Queens. Yes, However, I did know

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Speaker 3: of you obviously as an actor, but I knew of

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Speaker 3: you also when I think you first were on the

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Speaker 3: scene for a lot of us was when not a

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Speaker 3: lot of of us, but for the ladies, they used

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Speaker 3: to be like, oh my god, he's gonna be the

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Speaker 3: next Barack Obama. When you and Barack you used to

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Speaker 3: always hang out when he was president, Barack Obama, when

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Speaker 3: he was in the White House, and I felt like

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Speaker 3: you knew a lot of my friends around that time.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know you, but you knew a lot of

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Speaker 3: my friends. So that was our intersection. But we were

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Speaker 3: still in the same siye, guys in the same world,

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Speaker 3: but we weren't the same We weren't friends. So when

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Speaker 3: I met you in Queens, I thought, oh, smart dope.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited. He's going to tell me about the

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Speaker 3: world and how we're going to change the world. But

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Speaker 3: the first thing you talked about was your son, and

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Speaker 3: I'm really curious about two things. We're gonna talk about

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Speaker 3: your son, but I'm really curious about why you named

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Speaker 3: him Pierce.

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Speaker 1: Oh. Okay. So, years and years and years ago, at

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Speaker 1: the beginning of my career as an actor, there was

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Speaker 1: this movie that I read called The.

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Speaker 3: Nephew, The Nephew, The Nephew, Okay, which.

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Speaker 1: I thought the script was incredible, and I wanted to

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Speaker 1: play the lead role of this nephew. It was a

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Speaker 1: character that was half black, half Irish, and they was

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Speaker 1: going to shoot in Ireland, and I auditioned for it

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Speaker 1: and I think, I'm not sure. I think it was

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Speaker 1: between me and Lorenz Tate, but I can't say that

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Speaker 1: for sure. But I don't know, I care. I just

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people wanted this role because it

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Speaker 1: was such a great role. And I remember having to

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Speaker 1: go to lunch with the producer because he wanted to

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Speaker 1: meet me and check me out before he made a

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Speaker 1: decision about who was going to be the lead of

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Speaker 1: this movie. It was going to be the first movie

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Speaker 1: he ever produced. And I go to meet this actor

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Speaker 1: named Pierce Brosnan, who at the time, was one of

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Speaker 1: the biggest stars in the world because he was double

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Speaker 1: O seven, he was James Bond, and he had some

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Speaker 1: big movies you know, blah blah blah. And meet for

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Speaker 1: lunch and I'm sitting with this guy, one of the

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Speaker 1: most elegant, intelligent, charming, just cool dudes from Ireland who

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Speaker 1: just had it's almost like a simultaneous kindness and swag

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Speaker 1: that was just I was like, you know what, and

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Speaker 1: then I was I got so impressed by him, and

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Speaker 1: then doing the film with him and working with him

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Speaker 1: and shooting with him in Ireland, so I was I

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Speaker 1: went to Ireland for three months to shoot, got the role,

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Speaker 1: got the role, got the role, went to Ireland for

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Speaker 1: three months to shoot this film. Had one of the

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Speaker 1: most amazing experiences in my life. It is actually the

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Speaker 1: experience that taught me that race is a social fiction.

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Speaker 1: That's a whole other podcast we can jump into that,

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Speaker 1: but but it taught me that and got to know

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Speaker 1: Peerce and got to really appreciate who he was. We

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Speaker 1: became friends over time, and I always would say to myself,

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Speaker 1: if I ever have a son, I want him to

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Speaker 1: turn out like you.

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Speaker 3: Really you were so impressed with him, Yes, and it

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Speaker 3: wasn't just the first meeting was great, but then working

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Speaker 3: with him really sold you.

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Speaker 1: And becoming friends and becoming after that, and spending time

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Speaker 1: with him and his wife and and his family, and

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Speaker 1: visiting him at his house, and just the level of

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Speaker 1: cool and kindness. And I just love the name Pierce.

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Speaker 1: And I always wanted to name my son a name

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Speaker 1: that not too many people have. I mean, there's not

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Speaker 1: too many pierces. There's certainly not too many black pierces

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Speaker 1: except for Paul Pierce.

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Speaker 3: But that's his last name, of his first name. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so this is very interesting. You were so impressed by him,

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Speaker 3: You're like, I'm gonna name my son after him.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking that. I wasn't thinking that. In other words,

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Speaker 1: when I was thinking of names for my son, and

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Speaker 1: that's when it came up, like, okay, what are some names,

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Speaker 1: because I was thinking of different names, and then it

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Speaker 1: just kept coming back to Pierce. It wasn't like years

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Speaker 1: and years years I was saying, okay, when I have

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Speaker 1: my first son. It was just like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: would love my son to turn out like you, not

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Speaker 1: necessarily name him after you. But then it is eventually,

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Speaker 1: when you're thinking of names, I'm just yeah, I can't remember,

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Speaker 1: and there was a list, there was other names.

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Speaker 3: Time for a full stop, heading to a commercial break.

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Speaker 3: We'll be back in just a few moments. I remember

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Speaker 3: watching you on Good Morning America being interviewed by Robin

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Speaker 3: Roberts about adopting peers. Yes, I want you to walk

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Speaker 3: me through that process. I think it's really interesting because one,

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Speaker 3: we don't hear a lot about single black men adopting kids.

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Speaker 1: Single men period.

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Speaker 3: Single I was getting there, single men period, but black

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Speaker 3: men more specifically because it just feels like an oddity

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Speaker 3: in the culture. But single man period. Yes, but I'm

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Speaker 3: concerned about the culture. Yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 1: Well. Number one, let's dispelse some miss talk to me.

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Speaker 1: Black men are among the most, if not the most

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Speaker 1: present fathers in the world, and pop cultural society would

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Speaker 1: just try to tell you different brothers are present in

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Speaker 1: their children's lives more so than any other culture. Okay, now,

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Speaker 1: you're right, a lot of of men black men are

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Speaker 1: otherwise who are single, don't adopt. And let me say this.

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Speaker 1: I'll say this right to the camera because I mean

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Speaker 1: this very deeply. I don't if you're a man or

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Speaker 1: a woman watching this. If you've ever had the intuition

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Speaker 1: to adopt a child, follow it. You should do it

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Speaker 1: because there are too many kids who are in foster

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Speaker 1: care right now as we're talking. There are too many

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Speaker 1: children being moved around house to house who need us,

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Speaker 1: who need people with the capacity to bring them in.

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Speaker 1: And adopting my son was the best decision I've ever made,

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Speaker 1: one of the most difficult. It changed my life in

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Speaker 1: ways that I couldn't even have anticipated. But it's the

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Speaker 1: most important decision I've made. And I always knew I

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Speaker 1: wanted to adopt, but I always thought that I would

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Speaker 1: do it much more traditionally. I always thought I was

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Speaker 1: going to get married, I was going to have some

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Speaker 1: some bio kids, and then I was bioid and I

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Speaker 1: was going to adopt some kids.

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Speaker 3: I always thought I was gonna have always thought you

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Speaker 3: would adopt that.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I always thought I was gonna have three

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Speaker 1: bio kids and adopt two kids. I always I was

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Speaker 1: gonna have five kids, right, And then I got challenged

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Speaker 1: one time by a friend who said, Hill, you live

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Speaker 1: your life very non traditionally. Why are you allowing Because

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Speaker 1: I said, you know, I'm not gonna have kids until

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Speaker 1: I get married, and da da da da. And she said,

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Speaker 1: why are you allowing what society tells you is the

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Speaker 1: right order to do things. Why don't you adopt? And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not ready, But that's a fallacy.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: God doesn't put anything on your heart that you aren't

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Speaker 1: ready to handle. And God put this on my heart

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Speaker 1: and also created the scenario where it was very clear

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Speaker 1: what I should do. I wasn't out there looking.

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Speaker 3: How the scenario. What was the scenario?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I don't want to get into too

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Speaker 1: much around his birth mother's life circumstance because that's her business.

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Speaker 1: And it was a scenario where Pierce needed a home

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Speaker 1: and I had the capacity to provide that.

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Speaker 3: And they asked you specifically, Someone called you up and said, hey,

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Speaker 3: do you want to adopt?

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Speaker 1: No? No, So what happened was my friend challenged me

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Speaker 1: with that she was in the process of looking to adopt,

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Speaker 1: but then she got pregnant with twins. Oh, and she

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Speaker 1: had introduced me to the person that she was working

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Speaker 1: with at like some function, and he was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, Cathy told me that you were interested and

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Speaker 1: potentially adopted. I was like, yeah, I'm definitely going to adopt.

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Speaker 1: I don't know when I'm not ready. And then he said, well,

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Speaker 1: why don't you, you know, do the paperwork or do

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Speaker 1: some stuff. Just get in the get in the in

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Speaker 1: the system, because it takes so long and you could

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Speaker 1: always say yes, no whatever. He was particularly interested because

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Speaker 1: I said, you know, I was interested in adopting a

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Speaker 1: black American male. Now here's another sad but true fact.

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Speaker 1: Black American boys are the least adopted child in the world.

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Speaker 3: Really.

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Speaker 1: In other words, people will go to Zimbabwe, Kenya, Ethiopia, Romania, Bulgaria, Korea,

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Speaker 1: China and adopt a baby, but a black American boy

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Speaker 1: they don't. And you talk about how deep and all

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Speaker 1: adopted black girl American girl, but you talk talk about

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Speaker 1: how deep the embedded systemic racism and notions about black

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Speaker 1: men are. It's so deep that they bring it on

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Speaker 1: a baby. And so he was like, since you're interested

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Speaker 1: in adopting a black American boy, you know, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: want to keep you. You want to we want to

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Speaker 1: stay connected. And then he called me, oh, love it,

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Speaker 1: and I wasn't already.

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Speaker 3: What does that mean? I thought, you said, if God

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Speaker 3: puts it on your heart, you're ready. Well I wasn't ready.

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Speaker 3: What that means.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think. I didn't think I was getting a

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Speaker 1: call to adopt. Oh, now he called me to adopt.

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Speaker 1: But I wanted to find out what was going on.

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Speaker 1: So there was other things going on that I thought

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Speaker 1: I could help with, but I didn't. I was like,

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Speaker 1: but let me help with these other things. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: then but then God put it on me.

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Speaker 3: Wow. As I started to get more involved, first night

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Speaker 3: you bring Pierce home, what are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: I was terrified. I was terrified because you got to

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Speaker 1: understand that call happened right before Thanksgiving twenty fifteen. Pierce

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Speaker 1: was born December nineteenth, twenty fifteen. So I went from

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Speaker 1: never changing a diaper to being holding a little baby

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Speaker 1: in palm of my hand in about three weeks. I

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Speaker 1: was freaking out.

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Speaker 3: I would be for freaking out.

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Speaker 1: I was so afraid that he wasn't he was going

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Speaker 1: to stop breathing out, like I was like trying to

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Speaker 1: listen for breath, you know, making sure when he's asleep.

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Speaker 1: I was, I was. I was freaking out. But then

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Speaker 1: you know, you kicking the modes and one of the

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Speaker 1: best stories about this whole experience that people don't even believe.

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Speaker 1: And I'd actually like to put it in a movie someday,

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Speaker 1: but no one would believe it in the movie. Is

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Speaker 1: that I was so hell bent on making sure that

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Speaker 1: he had breast milk. I was doing It's almost like

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Speaker 1: doing breast milk drug deals. I would show up. I

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Speaker 1: was in New York, so I show up people's house.

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Speaker 1: You got that milk?

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Speaker 3: You got that milk.

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Speaker 1: So I'd show up with a cooler and we loaded

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Speaker 1: in and so.

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Speaker 3: So wait, hold on, you were just getting random breast milk.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean here, sir?

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Speaker 1: Not random?

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Speaker 3: Now? I was you walking around the bread women your milk?

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Speaker 1: Well, first of all, if breast milk is in a

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Speaker 1: deep freezer, it lasts for six months. If it's deep frozen,

402
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Speaker 1: and breast milk is gold, breast milk is gold, okay,

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Speaker 1: and particularly unpasteurized breast milk. And what happened is that

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Speaker 1: I was fortunate enough to get put into a New

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Speaker 1: York Mom's list serve that, and someone in the list

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Speaker 1: Serve said, Hey, I have a friend who's male who

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Speaker 1: adopted baby boy. He'd like to get breast milk.

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Speaker 3: And then.

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Speaker 1: A lot of moms know how valuable the milk is

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Speaker 1: and and they freeze the extra and they know that

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Speaker 1: it it after six months, it's not usable, so it's

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Speaker 1: going to go to waste anyway. And so they were

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Speaker 1: so kind to say, oh, he can come get, he

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Speaker 1: can come get.

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Speaker 3: I love this story. And then when did you feel

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Speaker 3: And I know you don't even feel like you have

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Speaker 3: it one hundred percent down, but I mean it is

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Speaker 3: a journey. You're learning every single day. But when did

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Speaker 3: you feel comfortable with him, like three months, six months

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Speaker 3: when you felt like, Okay, we have a routine, I'm learning,

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Speaker 3: changing die papers. I feel like this feels comfortable.

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Speaker 1: As soon as my life changed, I felt comfortable. But

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of help. I couldn't have done

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Speaker 1: it without help, support from sator community and all of that.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, to be honest, I probably feel less

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Speaker 1: comfortable now than then because because the beautiful thing is

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Speaker 1: when they're a baby, they're all their care is relying

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Speaker 1: upon you, but they don't talk back, so you you

429
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Speaker 1: can sort of navigate things the way you want. Now

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Speaker 1: he's nine years old and he's talking back, doing this

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Speaker 1: and doing that, and you and so I have less

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Speaker 1: control and ability now then the baby.

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Speaker 3: You're more comfortable now laughing because I've experienced I've heard

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Speaker 3: I've heard it when I if I've talked to other phone,

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Speaker 3: and I see, he's just such a little man. He

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Speaker 3: has his own mind, he is own wing, and it

437
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 3: just makes me laugh, that's all.

438
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 1: But I, you know, I just have to hope that

439
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: the stuff that we do on a daily basis is

440
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: making an imprint. We just shifted to a new morning

441
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,959
Speaker 1: mantra because I've tried to do these mantras to try to,

442
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: you know, just embed in his subconscious because you know,

443
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,160
Speaker 1: these young kids are getting bombarded, we all are getting

444
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: bombarded with so much negative subconscious stuff that I try

445
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: to try to combat that. And so we'd been working

446
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: one thing for a very long time and we just

447
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: switched to a different one. And so just you know,

448
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: sometimes sometimes you don't want to do it, and I

449
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: check in, I said, but did you live the mantra today?

450
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: Because we're all about trying to get one percent better

451
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: every day. We're just trying to get one percent better

452
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: every day, And so I said, did you one percent

453
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: better today? And then we talked through you know, what

454
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: are the things age, three head, heart, and hustle and

455
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: a lot of different things. A lot of it has

456
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: a little bit of a sports analogy to a lot

457
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 1: of the mantras. But but he's I think you know

458
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,400
Speaker 1: one percent better every day.

459
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 3: I've said this to you before, just just knowing you

460
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,400
Speaker 3: as a person. I was like, you're a good man.

461
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 3: You have a good heart, and I think that's so

462
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: beautiful that you are one reminding us that there are

463
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 3: myths related to black fatherhood and that and that obviously

464
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 3: something I didn't know, that Black American boys are the

465
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 3: least to be adopted, and that to me is a

466
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 3: travesty in itself. So I thank you for that because

467
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 3: that is something that people are going to listen to

468
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 3: and say, oh, I didn't know that. It's heartbreaking, heartbreaking.

469
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 3: But also those who have the urge to adopt or

470
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 3: want to adopt, like, go do that, please, go do

471
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 3: this do it right now. We need important, We need you,

472
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 3: they need you fatherhood. I'd like to ask you about

473
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,200
Speaker 3: your father, Doctor Harry D. Harper Junior read that he

474
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: was a doctor as his brother and your mother was

475
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 3: one of the first practicing black anesthesiologists in the country.

476
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 3: It's just very amazing to know that that you come

477
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 3: from from good stock. Talk to me about your father,

478
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: your relationship with him.

479
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: You know, my father demanded excellence and he wanted his

480
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: sons to be a And I have an older brother

481
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: who is Harry Harper the third. And you know, my

482
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: dad died way too young. I mean, that's that's I

483
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 1: think he was sixty two. I just you know, he

484
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: he wrote, you know, he wrote us hard. I mean

485
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: he was hard, but he knew that we could be great.

486
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: And he his father was great. And you know, we joke.

487
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: He always said, you can always tell a Harper, but

488
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: you can't tell him much. And and but we you know,

489
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: he was very different than me, super flashy. You know,

490
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: he wore about ten gold chains, he wore diamonds, he

491
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 1: had you know, he's the first person I ever saw

492
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: with a diamond face Rolex. You know, he drove really

493
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: flashy cars.

494
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 3: You know.

495
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: That was my dad was like the dude, he was

496
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: the man. He had all of his swag, all of it,

497
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 1: and and I inherited a lot of that, but in

498
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 1: a different way. I exhibit mine in a different way

499
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 1: than he did. I don't wear any jewelry and all that.

500
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 3: He said, when you get married, she can't even get

501
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 3: a ring.

502
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, a joke.

503
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 3: That's a joke.

504
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to give the Beers.

505
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,439
Speaker 3: And that's what you are listen conscious as all blood.

506
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: There's so much blood in that company. Yeah, just just

507
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: you know, we talk about blood dimonds. You talk about

508
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: stand a company that you know over ninety percent of

509
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: the diamond trade goes through that company, and those people

510
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 1: are billionaires off the blood of black people. Let's just

511
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: be call it what it is. So me and my

512
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: future wife, we can go mine for our own diamond

513
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: to make sure the Beers doesn't touch one cent of

514
00:26:59,119 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: our money.

515
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 3: That sounds exaciting.

516
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,959
Speaker 1: I think that would be fine because I love beautiful things. Yeah,

517
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: and so there's nothing wrong with diamonds as long as

518
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 1: de Beer's doesn't have my money.

519
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 3: Back to your dad.

520
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: Okay. So doctor Harry Harper, he was a psychiatrist. He

521
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,919
Speaker 1: and my mother met at Howard Medical School and he

522
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: just was amazing. He died of cancer. He was diagnosed

523
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: with the same type of cancer I was diagnosed with. Unfortunately,

524
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: his cancer had migrated and he ended up dying of

525
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 1: pancreatic cancer, and I credit him for so much of

526
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: what I have and who I am, and I just wish,

527
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: you know. I know he's here in spirit and he

528
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 1: lives in me, but I wish he'd been around to

529
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: see some of the things that I've done, because every son,

530
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: I don't care, who wants to make his dad proud,

531
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 1: you know. And I hope that he's looking down, you know,

532
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 1: and he's proud. And I know for a fact that

533
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: who I am and the level of resilience in personance

534
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 1: that I have confidence that I have the man that

535
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: I am is because my father raised me, you know,

536
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: and my mom lives with me.

537
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: Now.

538
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: I love my mom. She's amazing. She's a trailblazer in

539
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: her own right, and man, get into her story. But

540
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: I do know I'd be a different human if my

541
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 1: dad hadn't raised me. Of course, you said something that

542
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: triggered a thought for me. You said, he wrote us.

543
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: He was really hard, and you know that you are

544
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 3: the man you are today because of him, and you

545
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 3: wish he was around so you know he could see you.

546
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: And also and also helped me with my son exactly.

547
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 3: So here is my question. A colleague of mine said

548
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 3: to me the other day he has two kids, two sons,

549
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 3: ages twenty and twenty two, and I'm curious with you

550
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 3: about your perspective with your son and your father. And

551
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 3: I asked these questions because I am fascinated about black

552
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 3: men and their relationships with their fathers with women, and

553
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 3: I want to make sure I have an understanding. And

554
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 3: I feel like in society today, especially for the culture

555
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,959
Speaker 3: black men and black women dating, that's something I've been

556
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 3: talking about or being in relationship. It has everything to

557
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 3: do about how we interact and how we were obviously raised.

558
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 3: But he said his sons at twenty and twenty two

559
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 3: are really mad at him now because he rode them

560
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 3: really hard. And he said that he was just a tough,

561
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 3: tough dad, but he wanted the best for them and

562
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 3: he knew that they could be excellent, and that was

563
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 3: the way his father raised him. And he was like

564
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 3: my father raised me in a very different way. But

565
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 3: he was harder on me than I am on my sons.

566
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 3: And today they have a bit of resentment that he

567
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 3: hopes will eventually dissipate once they actually can see the

568
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 3: bigger picture. Do you or was there ever a time

569
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 3: early on in your life, as a young young man,

570
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 3: or maybe even as a teenager, you resented your father

571
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: being really strict or hard the word you used on

572
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 3: you and your brother.

573
00:29:56,000 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: No, because I didn't. I didn't see that that is optional.

574
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: You got to remember when I was growing up, there

575
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: wasn't social media. There wasn't all. I wasn't seeing other

576
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: versions of people's so called lives, and particularly the bull versions,

577
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: because that's what we see on social media. You're not

578
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: seeing the real version anyway. But you think someone's being

579
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: raised this way, how come you think somebody has this

580
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: or that the so how come I don't? And so

581
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: the comparison game, there was no comparison game because I

582
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: had none to compare it too. This was my life

583
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: and that was it. Now I'm not raising Pierced the

584
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: way my dad raised me because the world has shifted

585
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 1: and changed and evolved and things are different. And so

586
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: I'm raising him with a little bit more of a

587
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: gentle hand, so to speak, and in a different way,

588
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: attempting to raise from the encouragement side of the ball.

589
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: But and he gets away with things that I literally

590
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: would be you know, I'd be strung up from the rafters.

591
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: If if I would have done some of this stuff,

592
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: you know, but then again, you know you're back, then

593
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: your parent could push you.

594
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 3: And not go to jail, and that.

595
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: Exactly. So it's a different, different situation. So you do know,

596
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: you know, you know. At the end of the day, though,

597
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: what I try to where I try to level set it.

598
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: And this is for everybody, even looking back at my

599
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 1: relationship book that I will call the Conversation or anything, fundamentally,

600
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 1: what do we all want? We fundamentally just want to

601
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 1: be happy, and what does that look like. It looks

602
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: like it's different for every single person, but there are

603
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: some fundamental elements to that. Feeling good about who you

604
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: are when you look in the mirror, being kind, being generous,

605
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 1: and want the best for whoever you're sitting across from,

606
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: whether it's a romantic relationship, a friendship, or just someone

607
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 1: you don't even know on the train. Those are just

608
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 1: foundational things and those are the things I'm trying to

609
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: convey to my son. So I talk about this idea

610
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: of kindness and friendship and and and and there's a

611
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: there's a level of selfishness that is running through our

612
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: culture right now.

613
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: Of course, And so.

614
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: You know, I think the best version of us is

615
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: that version that wants to give, give away, give, give, give,

616
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: and and that's what I'm trying to show. And I

617
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: believe that ultimately it seeps sentinence. I gotta believe that,

618
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: and that he's seeing that. And also risk taking, and

619
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: like I started talking about failure, I want him to

620
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: see me fail spectacularly, sure at so many different things

621
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 1: because I'm taking risk and we don't. Most of us

622
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 1: don't take enough risks, I agree, And so that's that's

623
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: where it is. And my father was a risk taker too.

624
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: My father was super risk taker.

625
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 3: How would you describe the relationship you have with your

626
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 3: father and tell me the relationship you have with Peers.

627
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: Well, one thing that one of the biggest differences is

628
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 1: I consciously said, tell Pierce I love you, hug him,

629
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: and kiss him much more than my dad didn't. You know,

630
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: my dad didn't say I love you very much, and

631
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: nor did he kiss me or hug me much. So

632
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: I consciously attempt to do that. Why did he not?

633
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 3: Why did you? Why do you consciously?

634
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: Because it's clear to me that well, first of all,

635
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: I'm raising a son without a mother. In the home.

636
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: So my son off the jump is missing that maternal hug,

637
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: love kiss, that thing that comes often naturally from mom

638
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: to son. In number too, I want him to feel

639
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: what being loved is and so that he's able to

640
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: notice the difference in the future of what that feels like.

641
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 1: And also just you know, I want to keep the

642
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: best of what my dad brought, but not necessarily take

643
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: stuff that I think takes you away, because I mean,

644
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: I think about me and my brother. My brother and

645
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: I grew up in the exact same household, but we're

646
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:37,320
Speaker 1: very different people, right, So everybody's on their own journey anyway,

647
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: Pierce is on his own. Piers is going no matter

648
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 1: what I do, Pierce is going to be who he's

649
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: going to be. Correct, So therefore I'm just trying. I'm

650
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: literally just massage on the edges. So if I feel

651
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 1: like he needs more tactile love and support, then I

652
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 1: should do that. And always attempting to make adjustments. I'm

653
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 1: always testing things. I'm just like some some times I

654
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 1: gotta come in like more of a hammer. Sometimes I

655
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 1: can ease off of that. Sometimes I can be more gentle.

656
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 1: It's always I think a work in progress.

657
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 3: You said that you love him. You tell him you

658
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 3: love him and hug him. Because there is no mother,

659
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,680
Speaker 3: that's the first thing in the house, and so you

660
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 3: want to make sure that he experiences that type of

661
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 3: love as well. Usually women do that. Mothers do that.

662
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 3: That's the maternal thing, I guess, is what you're saying, Roles. Traditionally,

663
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 3: you want to just make sure that he feels that.

664
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 1: I can never replace the maternal love, but I can

665
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: be cognizant of the fact that I can make sure

666
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: because it's easy to get into a mode of yes,

667
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,359
Speaker 1: of just being the disciplinarian and the person who's about

668
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: achievement and da dah da da da. That's what my

669
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 1: dad did, and that's what he was. He was very

670
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: good at that. But I got to check myself sometimes

671
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 1: if I get too deep into that mode and be

672
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: much more about you know what, because again, I want

673
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: him to feel good about himself, no matter who and what,

674
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 1: and that's important.

675
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 3: We'll be back in just a few moments. I would

676
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: like to see and I don't know if I if

677
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 3: it's there, and I don't see it enough. But I've

678
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 3: often been asked by a lot of my girlfriends why

679
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 3: they they're single. I'm single, you're single, or maybe you're not,

680
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 3: but there's a lot of single people in our culture.

681
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 3: And they said there's a disconnect between black men and

682
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 3: black women. And I watch some of these, you know, silly,

683
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 3: not necessary, superficial shows on social media that show people

684
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 3: dating games and pop and balloons and all these different

685
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 3: things that I think about, and I go, there feels

686
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 3: like there's a bit of a disconnect to me between

687
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: black men and black women. And I wonder if you've

688
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 3: noticed that. I consider you someone who you've written books

689
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,760
Speaker 3: about relationships, You've talked about what you think is missing

690
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 3: or perhaps is missing, if there is a way to

691
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 3: describe the disconnect, if that's the right word, between black

692
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 3: men and black women in terms of relationships and dating.

693
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 3: I know there could be women sitting around saying, well,

694
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 3: you know, it's hard to date black men because if

695
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: they're successful. I'm throwing out things. I'm not saying that

696
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 3: this is true. If they're successful, they don't want to

697
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 3: date black women if they're successful, not true. They have

698
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,959
Speaker 3: requirements that aren't realistic. I've heard black men say black

699
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 3: women don't have realistic requirements. They want something that doesn't

700
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 3: make sense to me, and it's not realistic. And also

701
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 3: I just don't want to deal with all of that. Whatever,

702
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 3: all of that is put in whatever adjective you'd like.

703
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 3: I first off, I want to point out if you

704
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 3: are not only watching this, if you're just listening, I'm

705
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 3: not even done with my question. He'll grabs the microphone,

706
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 3: pulls it close to this is interesting subject because he's

707
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 3: ready to go in. I just want just to know

708
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: that I'm just trying. I'm just asking question. I just

709
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 3: hear I am doing what I do. I am naturally curious.

710
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 3: So you so I'm not done yet before you boss

711
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 3: up on me about what's wrong with the world, Well

712
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 3: you know we're run looking at Jay. We are actually

713
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 3: we are talk to me about the current status of

714
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 3: black men and black women in relationships.

715
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so, first of all, I wrote a book about

716
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: this years and years and years and years and years ago,

717
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: and things have not changed since then. In fact, they

718
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 1: may have gotten worse. Issue and problem. It's not clear

719
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 1: that we're even friends anymore. And that's it. That is

720
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: the foundational piece. Now, you mentioned something interesting that you

721
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: just said. There's this thing that I talk about in

722
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: the book called the five ninety five rule, and that's

723
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 1: I think that's what the chapter is called. And I

724
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: did a test or an experiment. The name of the

725
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: book is please, It's called the Conversation. And that's what

726
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: I think that we need to have more of, is

727
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: Black men and black women have to have more conversations.

728
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: We have to talk, we have to establish friendship. But

729
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: I did this test. I gave women, you know, a

730
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: thing where you filled out kind of a questionnaire about

731
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: yourself and said, you know, no one's going to see this,

732
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: just be brutally honest. And I asked all these different

733
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: questions about how much debt you carry, how much you earn,

734
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: and what you do, education level, you know, aspirations, what

735
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: you want to do, what you know, kind of house

736
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: and home you want to live in, where you want

737
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: to live, you know, just all these different questions just

738
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: about but I get to know you, like who you

739
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: are a profile basically, and then with the exact same

740
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: group later on, you know, after there was a lot

741
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 1: of stuff in between, so that they couldn't psychologically make

742
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: a connection. I had them do almost identical profile piece

743
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: about the man that they saw themselves with and who

744
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,879
Speaker 1: they wanted to be with. Fascinating, It is fascinating. It

745
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 1: was fascinating, and you want to know what the results were.

746
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 1: And then you ask them, who do you want to

747
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: be with? They say, I'm sure you've heard this term.

748
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: I want to be with the man who's equally yoked,

749
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 1: or I want to be with my equal, I want

750
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: to be that someone who's on my level. You know

751
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: those types of terms. So many of them would say

752
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: some version already roll of that. And then you know what,

753
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: you know what came up? Is it when you compared them, oh,

754
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 1: stop watch this to what they wrote about the man.

755
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: They would say, they want to be on their level,

756
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: but this man was here nothing like their level. Five

757
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 1: percent of the women are trying to date, two percent

758
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 1: of the men, five percent of the men. Okay, In

759
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: other words, what I mean by that is you understand

760
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,479
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. In other words, they didn't. They didn't

761
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,319
Speaker 1: describe over here a man that has the same depth

762
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: they have. They didn't describe a man over here that

763
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: has the same job, income, earning, same type of house,

764
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 1: same type of desired that da da da, you know,

765
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: two weeks out of the year, vacations, da da da.

766
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 1: They described a combination between Barack Obama, Denzel Washington, and

767
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: g and Jesus. So that so so in their minds,

768
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: a man who's equally yoked is that rather than what's

769
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 1: actually real.

770
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 3: Okay, So so I say all that to say what

771
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 3: about inverse?

772
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: The inverse is different. So what we're found in the

773
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: inverse was there was a little bit more of a

774
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 1: physicality issue with men. So there were ninety five percent

775
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,520
Speaker 1: of the men we're trying to date five percent of women,

776
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: but their criteria was a little different. In other words,

777
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,960
Speaker 1: you know, dudes thought they were going to date, you know,

778
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 1: somebody who looked like Beyonce. When they look like truck

779
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: of Sam, it's like truck of Sam. You ain't dating Beyonce,

780
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,839
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I know, I know. I mean,

781
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: you know they see jay Z and be like, well

782
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:54,920
Speaker 1: he don't look as good as her, So how did

783
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 1: that happen?

784
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 3: But you ain't jay Z? Right?

785
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you know, brother who looked like that can

786
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 1: get her, but you got to be jay Z first.

787
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: You can't. You're not gonna get there.

788
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 3: You know, you're breaking the microphone.

789
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: Sam. I think this is fun stuff to talk about,

790
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 1: but it's about it's about being honest and looking in

791
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: the mirror. But I think that we get away from

792
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: and all jokes aside. I mean, that's that's real what

793
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: I talked about. But that's not really that's all the

794
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: fluff stuff that's kind of fun to talk about the

795
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: real issue is the heart. Can we open up our

796
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: heart to each other and really love each other? And

797
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: there's so much historical trauma and hurt and pain that

798
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: it's very difficult to get past opening up. And so

799
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,799
Speaker 1: I was I tell this story in the book. I

800
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: was dating a girl who I came home once and

801
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 1: you know, I had a key to her her place.

802
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 1: I come home and I walk in. She's on the

803
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,320
Speaker 1: phone with her girlfriend.

804
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 3: Girl. I can't believe me.

805
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 1: I know, Oh my god, are you kidding me?

806
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 3: Oh my god? To he hear?

807
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, all right, girl, I love you.

808
00:42:59,440 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 2: You know I love you.

809
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 3: Okay, how tires you?

810
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, we're gonna talk to you.

811
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, bye.

812
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: Boom, hung up the phone. She looks at me, how

813
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: is your day? I was like, Well, who's the girl

814
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 1: who's just on the phone?

815
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 3: Can I date her? How about hey?

816
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:11,760
Speaker 1: Baby? How welcome?

817
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,200
Speaker 3: Home, how are you, what's going on?

818
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 1: And so so so so so basically what I'm I

819
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: say that story to say, the energy and the heart

820
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 1: that you put out is ultimately what you give back.

821
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,880
Speaker 1: If you've been hurt by a man, or you've been

822
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 1: hurt by a woman, or hurt by your mother or

823
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: hurt by whatever, you're gonna close off and you're not

824
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 1: gonna give it. So therefore it's not gonna be reciprocated.

825
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 1: But a lot of women feel safe for their girlfriends

826
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 1: to open up, even when their girlfriends maybe have treated

827
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: them just as bad or worse, but they still feel

828
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: safe that that's okay. I was in Africa traveling with

829
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 1: the Massies and the Messiah, strong tall black men and

830
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: they hold hands and I was struck by that, and

831
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: I was like, these these warriors stand out there holding

832
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,319
Speaker 1: each other's hands, and I said, that is deep. We

833
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 1: as black men have to hold metaphorically speaking, each other's hand,

834
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: just like black women hold each other's hands. And then

835
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: we have to hold each other's hands. And you're right.

836
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: There's a lot of negotiation around sex and sexual activity

837
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 1: and all of that, but at the end of the day,

838
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: it comes back to the heart and wanting the best.

839
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 1: I want the best for my sisters. I want the

840
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: best for you. And if I can stay in that

841
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: zone and in that mode, I can help open up

842
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,880
Speaker 1: my heart to you and hopefully we can do the

843
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 1: same and reciprocate conversation is true.

844
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 3: The ability to feel safe is I think what I

845
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 3: was able to extract from all of that. If you

846
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 3: don't feel safe, we won't do that. But that is

847
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 3: directly related to what trauma you've experienced, from what you've

848
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 3: healed from. But do you see the distance? Do you

849
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 3: see the disconnect currently.

850
00:44:55,719 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: There's a lot. There's a lot and if you look

851
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: at just look at the data black families as as

852
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 1: as But I mean, this is such we could do

853
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 1: a whole We could do a whole by because the

854
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 1: systemic realities is that there have been structural, systemic correct

855
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 1: weapons correct levied against and to destroy the black family.

856
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: And those things continue today and they continue in even

857
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 1: more diabolical ways. And so you know, at the end

858
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: of the day, I just have to come back. I

859
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: love black women, I celebrate black women. I love my sisters.

860
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 1: I want I want to figure out a way to

861
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: support and bring us together and so you know, whatever

862
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 1: that looks like, we got to do it. We have

863
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 1: to or we will perish. We are we are bearing

864
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 1: witness to the establishment of a permanent underclass that the

865
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: crux of which is the instruction of the black family unit,

866
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,279
Speaker 1: which has been going on a long time. And we

867
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: can joke about filling out forms and joke about equally yoked,

868
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, I just was

869
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 1: in Montgomery, Alabama, and I recommend that every black person,

870
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 1: every forget, every person in America goes to the Legacy

871
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: Museum Brian Stevenson and the Equal Justice Initiative. It is

872
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 1: so powerful when you talk about the largest forced migration,

873
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 1: kidnapping and torture of twelve million Black people, and the purposeful,

874
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 1: purposeful removal and break up of black families. It's historic

875
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 1: and it's trauma, and it exists today and it's not

876
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: that long ago. So we have to be very intentional

877
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: to deal with solving it and loving each other and

878
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,760
Speaker 1: figuring out a way to get past the bullshit.

879
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 3: I love you, dep I hate that we have to

880
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 3: wrap the podcast. We can have five. I think we

881
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 3: should do five more sessions.

882
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 1: We may have to do a special, Yes, podcast called

883
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,320
Speaker 1: The Conversation or.

884
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 3: Just the Black Men Love Black Women, Black women love

885
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 3: Black men. Yes, that that was too long. Black going

886
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 3: loving each other, Blacks love it. Here we go, Hill Harper,

887
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 3: go and get one of his. We can talk about sports.

888
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 3: We talk about any sports. But that's okay because you

889
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 3: know what. The sport of love, the sport of relationships,

890
00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 3: the sport of fatherhood, all here, all here. You you

891
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 3: gave some jewels. You you left us with jewelry, and

892
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 3: we needed that. We needed We needed a healthy meal.

893
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 3: We didn't need any candy.

894
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: So I'm so proud of you, and I just want

895
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: to say this as this black man, I want to

896
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 1: celebrate Carry Champion. I want to celebrate you. I want

897
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:48,920
Speaker 1: to lift you up and know that you are spectacular, intelligent,

898
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 1: beautiful and deserve to be seen by all folks on

899
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: all platforms because your voice matters, your energy matters, and

900
00:47:57,120 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: you need to be viewed, seen and heard. And so

901
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: we love you well.

902
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 3: I thank you for being my friend and taking the time.

903
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,720
Speaker 3: But we have to do this again. We will okay, okay,

904
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 3: Bye bye bye. By Naked Sports. Written and executive produced

905
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 3: by me Kerry Champion. Produced by Jacqueses Thomas, sound design

906
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:18,879
Speaker 3: and mastered by Dwayne Crawford. Naked Sports is a part

907
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 3: of the Black Effect podcast network in iHeartMedia