1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: My brother proposed to my fiance his ex. I'm pissed. 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: What should I do? WHOA? This is Okop, home to 3 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: the craziest true stories on Earth. I'm Sophia and Riley. 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 2: What duel duel at don at down. 5 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:25,640 Speaker 1: That's wild to propose to your brother's fiance current fiance. 6 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 2: Come on, bro, find somebody else. 7 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: There's one hundred of fish in the sea. That's it. 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,840 Speaker 2: The ninety nine were your brother's fiance. 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: Come on, so equivalent ladder one hundred ninety seven, says 10 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: my twenty eight male brother, Mark twenty six male used 11 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: to date my fiance Jen twenty six female a year ago. 12 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: For context, they dated back in August twenty twenty two. 13 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: Oh so this is recent. Oh wow, that is really recent. 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: So they dated in twenty twenty two, and presume we 15 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: broke up and then got together. 16 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 2: What's the date of the post twenty twenty three? Oh wow, 17 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 2: that's a year. 18 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: Year, So that you dated a year ago. 19 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 2: Like, that's so close that your family won't be like, oh, 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 2: who's this new girl. They'll be like, oh, I remember her, 21 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 2: be with your brother. 22 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: You know what, I think they're both in the wrong 23 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: based off of this initial thing. Because you shouldn't be 24 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: dating your brother's ex period. They were only together for 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: a month before he broke things off with her because 26 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,320 Speaker 1: he was bored of being in a relationship and never 27 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: really wanted to settle down anyway. At the time they 28 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 1: were dating, I was in a different state, so I 29 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: had no idea he even had a girlfriend, and I 30 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: had no idea who Jen was until I met her. 31 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 2: Hmmm, suspicious, well, like in a way if they're not close. 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 2: He probably never posted her on social media because he 33 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 2: was like, I'm still trying to get out there. 34 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: Jen and I met at a bar when I moved 35 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: back in October and hit it off really well. She 36 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: was easily the most beautiful and intelligent woman I ever met, 37 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: and we met up a few times more before we 38 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: made it official. 39 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: How many times do you meet up before making an official. 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: Tell us us, tell us how many times? 41 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 2: We need to know? 42 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: For no reason, but we need to know? How many times? 43 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: Yes, no reason whatsoever? But what's a good number? 44 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's a good number? What do you guys think? 45 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: Fast forward to December and I finally bring her up 46 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,839 Speaker 1: to my family and propose them meeting her at Christmas. 47 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: They knew I was in a relationship, but I'm not 48 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,399 Speaker 1: the most open about my personal life, so I kept 49 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,519 Speaker 1: details about her to a minimum until I knew how 50 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 1: serious we really were. My parents asked to see pictures 51 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: and they started passing my phone around the dinner table. 52 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: Mark saw it and blew up, calling me a bad 53 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: brother for dating his ex girlfriend, and he demanded I 54 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: break it off with her. I refused. When I asked 55 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: Jen about it, she confirmed they dated and gave me 56 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: the details about their breakup. It took a few weeks, 57 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: but eventually Mark stopped bringing up me dating his ex, 58 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: and I thought he was over it. On Jen's birthday 59 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: this year, I took her out to a fancy dinner 60 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: with both of our families and our closest friends, and 61 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: I asked her to marry me. Mark flipped out once 62 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: again and blew up blew up about me proposing to her, 63 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: which I and my sisters immediately shut down. The incident 64 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 1: happened this past weekend. Mark had been pretty quiet about 65 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: the whole thing for the last two months. I didn't 66 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: see him much and figured he went low contact with me, 67 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: which I had no problem with. Then he invited me 68 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 1: and Jen for family dinner at his apartment with my 69 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: parents and sisters. I thought it was weird, but my 70 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 1: parents and sisters were also going, so we agreed to go. 71 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 1: The dinner was nice, nothing too fancy, and we moved 72 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 1: to the living room to talk. About thirty minutes into 73 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: a normal conversation, Mark stood up and told us he 74 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: had an announcement. He made a long speech about being 75 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: happy to have his family around for his big moment, 76 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: then got on one knee and pulled out this cheap 77 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: ring while asking Jen to marry him. What in front 78 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: of your family? 79 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 2: Yikes? 80 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: In front of your brother to your brother fiance. Like 81 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: I get that they were dating, and like, normally i'd 82 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: be like, that's not like, don't date your brother's you know, 83 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: ex girlfriend. But I guess he didn't know. It's still 84 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: so weird. 85 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 2: So it was Opie and Gen together right now? Yes, 86 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 2: and Mark. 87 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: Beyonce and Mark in front of everyone, just proposed her. 88 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 2: Does he not know? 89 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: He does? But I don't know why. I don't know 90 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,919 Speaker 1: what he's expecting to happen here. Jen was confused and 91 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: obviously uncomfortable, and demanded that he put it away and 92 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: stand up. My dad tried to make a grab for Mark, 93 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: but I got to him first and punched him. 94 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 2: Oh. 95 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: I won't repeat most of it, mostly because I was 96 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: too angry to even listen most of it. But he 97 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: said something along the lines of warning to show me 98 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: that Jen wasn't really into me and just wanted to 99 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 1: get back at him. Before I could get worse, my 100 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: parents rushed me out and promised to talk to him. 101 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: It's been a few days since it happened, and I'm 102 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,840 Speaker 1: still pissed off. I don't know what to do at 103 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: this point. I'm scared Jen might have second thoughts marrying 104 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: me because of this. Any advice, no is an edit, 105 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,280 Speaker 1: There is an edit. 106 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,440 Speaker 2: I don't think Jin picked the wrong guy. 107 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I think she picked the right brother. 108 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: If Mark is pulling stuff stunts like this, if. 109 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 2: He's willing to do this, what else would he be 110 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 2: willing to do if you guys got together? 111 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: No no, no, no no no. But I think also what 112 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: oh he might be saying second thoughts is like, would 113 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 1: she want to marry into this family if this is 114 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: like the drama? 115 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: You know? Yeah? 116 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,720 Speaker 1: But if it's just Mark, you can just go love 117 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: contact with Mark, but. 118 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 2: It might run the family. 119 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:32,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, run the blood. Yeah, it is causing drama. 120 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 2: What kind of balls do you have to be? 121 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 1: This is like out of the movie No. I just 122 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,799 Speaker 1: just the fact that he's doing it at a dinner 123 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: that he invited them all to is like what. Literally, 124 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: it was a sad up and I love that He's like, yeah, 125 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: he got a cheap ring, cheap ring. 126 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: He always emphasizes on cheap, cheap. 127 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: There is an edit same post later that day. First, 128 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: thanks for reading and responding. I've been reading the common 129 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: between last night and this morning, and valid points were made. 130 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: There isn't an update since the only people I've spoken 131 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: to since that dinner is Jen and my little sister. 132 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: I want to clarify a few things that I saw 133 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: in the comments. Number One, Jen and I are newly engaged. 134 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: It was one of those feelings where we both knew 135 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,840 Speaker 1: we were in it for the long run, as fast 136 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: as it is. I'm sure about her nice Number two. 137 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 1: When we met, I was the one who approached her, 138 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: not the other way around. Whether she knew or had 139 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 1: suspicions of us being related, I don't know. I asked 140 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,160 Speaker 1: after finding out they dated, and she says she had 141 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: no idea I didn't have any reason to doubt that, 142 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: but I can't admit the seemingly overreaction on Mark's part 143 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: does raise red flags. I had no idea she and 144 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: Mark dated when I met her. What are you doing 145 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: to be real while we're recording ralely? 146 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how be reals work. 147 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 1: I guess that's true. 148 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 2: Let me know if you guys have be reals. 149 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: I don't ever be real. I had no idea she 150 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: and Mark dated when I met her. Mark and I 151 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 1: aren't close at all. We used to be, but as 152 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: we grew up did and talked less and less. Before 153 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: I moved back, we didn't really speak much, aside from 154 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: special days like his or my birthday. Jen knew of 155 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: my family, but not much until I decided I was 156 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: ready to introduce them to her. When she and Mark 157 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: met again, I didn't get a sense of any residual 158 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: feelings on either part. She didn't treat him like a stranger, 159 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: but she also wasn't overly affectionate with him either. Number four, 160 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: I was told this was a relationship that lasted a month. 161 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: I didn't think I needed permission from Mark to ask 162 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 1: her to marry me, but maybe that was wrong of me, 163 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: I'm not sure m That being said, I planned to 164 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: talk to Mark this weekend to lay everything out on 165 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: the table and figure out what's up. I never asked 166 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: for his side of the relationship, which is my fault 167 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: for not doing my due diligence. If anything major or 168 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: enlightning happens, I'll update, but for now that's all I have, 169 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: And there is some relevant comments. 170 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 2: Do you think Mark and Jin's relationship was even that 171 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 2: much though? 172 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: If it was just two months, then it's not really anything. 173 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 174 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's enough for it to be awkward 175 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: for your brother to be getting married to her. Though, okay, 176 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: like I do think it would be very awkward to 177 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: be like that was my ax from literally a year ago, 178 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: and you're marrying her mmmmm yikes. Yeah, but I guess 179 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: they don't have like a very strong relationship. 180 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 2: I didn't need to get permission from. 181 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: Mark though, No, no, no, no, I don't think he needed 182 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: to get permission. But obviously this would strain it. But 183 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 1: it seems like it's already strained, so I don't know 184 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: relevant comments. Don't give into the but he's a family comments. Thankfully, 185 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: I haven't heard that he's family must much Aside from 186 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,439 Speaker 1: my mom and a few aunts, they know me well 187 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: enough to know our relationship isn't enough for me to 188 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: put up with his disrespect, especially towards my fiance. They'd 189 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: be wasting their breath on fiance. 190 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 191 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: I don't think I have to worry about her going 192 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: back safe to say she can't stand him either? Nice? 193 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,959 Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, and. 194 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: There is a juicy update. Do you have any other 195 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: any other thoughts before we get into that. 196 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: What do you think Mark is gonna do? Yeah? 197 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: I think Mark is going to try and like pull 198 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: some stunt and be like, oh we were we were 199 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: dating for longer and like I don't know, something like that. Yeah, yeah, 200 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: try and try and make Jen look bad. 201 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 2: Why is he trying to get back with her like this? 202 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. It seems like he's just jealous. 203 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 2: I don't know jealousy. 204 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: M Yeah what No? 205 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 2: Does a run in my blood? 206 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: Is the perfect person? 207 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 2: I am very secure. Would never now that makes me 208 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 2: feel like I'm insecure. That was supposed to be a joke. 209 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 2: I might get jealous, you're digging it back. That was 210 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 2: such a I do get jealous, but not easily. Like yeah, 211 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 2: like this I don't know. 212 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm a jealous person, per se. 213 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 2: That's good for a reasonable cause. Yeah, if it's like 214 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 2: they keep talking to someone else besides me, then I'm. 215 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 1: Like, okay, come on me, but I don't do anything. 216 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 2: They giggle and laugh to another guy, like they could 217 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 2: go and laugh to me. I would get jealous because yeah, 218 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 2: that's my place. You're not supposed to make a laugh 219 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 2: like that. That's your comedian, and you're not talking to 220 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 2: her one. 221 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: On one, And it depends on the giggle and the laugh. 222 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: I suppose this is true. Is there a lot of 223 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 1: eye contact going on? 224 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 2: I feel like more giggling than laughing. You can make 225 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 2: her laugh, but if you make her giggle. 226 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: That's where I draw. Anybody that's a year a little 227 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: bit jealous. 228 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 2: If they can make her giggle, because that's like a skill. 229 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: That's a skill. Yep, that's true. Because the girls that 230 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 2: I am into, they are into. 231 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: Silly, silly, silly billies. 232 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 2: Yep. 233 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, Well let's get into this juicy update. Juicy update 234 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,319 Speaker 1: two days later. First, I want to thank everyone for reading. 235 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: It's been a busy weekend, so I haven't had the 236 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: chance to reply to many people, but I did edit 237 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: in responses to the most common questions I saw in 238 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: the comments of the original post. Again, thank you. I 239 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,560 Speaker 1: appreciate it all, even the criticisms. 240 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 2: You are welcome criticisms. 241 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: Probably just like why why are you dating your brother's ex? 242 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: Now for the update, Yes, yes, yes, I called Mark 243 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: and asked him to meet up with me at my 244 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 1: place to talk at your place? Yeah, yeah, interesting with. 245 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 2: Jen, I'd probably go somewhere else. 246 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. I told him I would prefer Jen to be 247 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: around for the talk as well. Interesting, but I was 248 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: cool with it if he didn't want her there. He 249 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: agreed to talk to both of us and showed up 250 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: at my place around noon today. It was pretty quiet 251 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: for a few minutes before I started the conversation. I 252 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 1: apologize for not warning him I would be proposing to Jen, 253 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: and I apologized for hitting him. He said it was whatever, 254 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: but he appreciated the apology. I told him what Jen 255 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 1: had said about the relationship and breakup when I asked 256 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 1: her about it, and I asked him to confirm if 257 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: it was true. I pretty much said that his reaction 258 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,680 Speaker 1: throughout the whole thing had been extreme, and I wanted 259 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding the relationship or downplaying 260 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 1: how serious they were. He confirmed that they only dated 261 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: for a few weeks and he broke up with her 262 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: because he lost interest. Okay, that's harsh. Jen asked if 263 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: he was acting like this because he still had feelings 264 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: or regrets about ending things with her. He said he 265 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: could admit he thought she was more attractive than when 266 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: he last saw her, but there weren't any other feelings 267 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: or regrets. He said he just didn't like seeing a 268 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: girl he dated, even if it was short term with 269 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: his older brother, and as a man, I shouldn't have 270 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: violated him by pursuing things with his ex. 271 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: Okay, come on, buddy, this is Yeah. 272 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,400 Speaker 1: This a bit of a childish reactionally, like, again, not 273 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 1: cool for OP to date his ex. However, he didn't know. 274 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 2: He didn't know. I mean they met for a short 275 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: amount of time and it was natural how they met. 276 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't like it's he introduced them or something. 277 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, and like you lost interest in her. 278 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a competitive thing right now, it is, 279 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, specifically him saying like, oh, my older 280 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,120 Speaker 1: brother was dating my ex. 281 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 2: Man, if you really want to be competitive. This is 282 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 2: what you do. You say, I'm so happy you guys 283 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 2: are together and I love you guys, and you get 284 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 2: married to someone else and that's how you win. 285 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're happy. 286 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you've won it life exactly. Not not what 287 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 2: you're doing, but none you're losing. 288 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: You're losing it life. I reminded him that I had 289 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,119 Speaker 1: no idea they dated, so it wasn't like I consciously 290 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: did this knowing their history together. He shrugged me off 291 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: and said it didn't matter, and I still should have 292 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: broken it off. He was adamant that if the roles 293 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: were reversed he would have done the same thing, which 294 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: I doubt. 295 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, would you? 296 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: When do you really come on? I don't know about that. 297 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: I asked him why he proposed her if he didn't 298 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: have any lingering feelings. Basically, to sum it up, he 299 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: was talking about it to one of his buddies who 300 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: was around when Mark and Jen dated, and the guy 301 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 1: put that idea in his head that maybe Jen knew 302 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: from the start that they were related, or that we related, 303 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 1: and was doing this to get back at him, considering 304 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: Jen had been hung up on him after they ended. 305 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: That is so egotistical. That's so self obsessed. 306 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 2: I bet you ten dollars Marcus finance bro. 307 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: Yeah hye, bye bye it. He and his friends thought 308 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: it would be a good idea to test it and 309 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: see if they were right. So he came up with 310 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: the idea to propose and see if she dumped me 311 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: for him, that is so self absorb. 312 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,439 Speaker 2: They had to be out on a Saturday night. 313 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: Dud proposed. Door proposed Door shall shall dump you shall 314 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: dump your brother and take you back. Jen asked him 315 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: to elaborate why he thought she was hung up on him, 316 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: and he told her that he heard she was asking 317 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: about him following the breakup and still hanging out at 318 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: the places they used to go, so it was a 319 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: valid assumption. 320 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 2: Wait a second, places you used to go? You guys 321 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 2: dated for a few weeks. She probably just went there. 322 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, she probably those were just the places that she 323 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: went to. Come on a few weeks is also like 324 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: two to three. 325 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you probably went out two to three Johns at 326 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 2: Max four to five. Yeah, come on, bro, she's. 327 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: Not allowed to go to any of the places that 328 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: she went to before. If she went to them with you, 329 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: wild then for her to pop up randomly with his brother, 330 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: affirmed his suspicions. Jen told him she'd only asked about 331 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: him once following the breakup, and she'd been hanging out 332 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: at those places with friends before they started dating, and 333 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: she wouldn't avoid them because of her breakup. Yeah, a 334 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 1: two week or three week breakup. She also told him 335 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: she was offended at the idea that she would go 336 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: as low as to pursue me just to get back 337 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: at him. He shrugged and gave her a half asked apology, 338 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: but said she had to see it from his point 339 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 1: of view. She really doesn't. She really doesn't have to 340 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: see it from your point of view. Yea, the big 341 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: red flags. He asked her if she really didn't know, 342 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: and she told him that she didn't see the resemblance 343 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: in us until we were in the same room, and 344 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: we act nothing alike clearly, so it never crossed her mind. 345 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: And he said, okay. That pretty much wrapped up the conversation. 346 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: He did tell me before he left that I could 347 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: take back his invite to the wedding because he can't 348 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 1: bring himself to support her relationship knowing he used to 349 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 1: date her. 350 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Oh he's. 351 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: A drama queen, this is too much. She's doing too much. 352 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 2: Oh, this man lives in a rom com he literally. 353 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: I told him he didn't have to worry about that, 354 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: as he was most likely going to be uninvited anyway. Nice, yeah, 355 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: stay around. Like, well, I wait a minute he proposed 356 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: to Jennigan was like, wait a minute. 357 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: The cheaper ring. 358 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a ring pop this time. It's been a 359 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: few hours since our talk, and I do feel better. 360 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: My parents aren't too happy about him being uninvited, but 361 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 1: they understand that it was a mutual decision and probably 362 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: for the best. My sisters told me that they knew 363 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: he didn't have a good reason for being an a hole, 364 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 1: and they don't blame me for not wanting him at 365 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: the wedding. As of now, I'm going to limit commentact 366 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: with Mark, and I doubt he'll reach out to me 367 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: anytime soon either. Once again, I want to thank everyone 368 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: for reading and commenting, and if and if anything significant happens, 369 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 1: I'll update again. And there are there's one relevant comment. 370 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,880 Speaker 1: Why didn't she know of your family? Hope? He says. 371 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: We hadn't discussed my family much in the beginning of 372 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: our relationships. I left home to get away from them, 373 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: my parents specifically, and started reconciling at my sister's request 374 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 1: when I decided to move back home. I was open 375 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,120 Speaker 1: about not being close with them when Jed asked, and 376 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: she was okay with being left in the dark considering 377 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: the circumstances. And there is a juicy f. 378 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 2: Date who so wait, wait what about the family again? 379 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: It seems like op, he didn't doesn't have like a 380 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: really good good relationship with his parents or his brother. Uh, 381 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 1: and so that's why he didn't really talk about them 382 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: to jen oh and only recently has he been working 383 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: on it after his sister asked him to gotcha, Yeah, 384 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 1: I like this all makes sense why he wouldn't know that, 385 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: you know, this was his brother's X. And I think 386 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,640 Speaker 1: at that point, like again I said, I keep saying this, 387 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,919 Speaker 1: don't date your siblings' exes, But I feel like he 388 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: didn't know. Presumably it had been like at least a 389 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: month or two. Yeah, and I would have been like, yeah, 390 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,199 Speaker 1: like I'm sorry I didn't know, but also like this 391 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,919 Speaker 1: kind of like it's gotten kind of serious. 392 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 2: Now My question is social media true? Do we know 393 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 2: how old they are? 394 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: Are? 395 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 2: Go on a date with a girl. This happened in. 396 00:17:56,480 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: Twenty three, twenty eight. Ohp he's twenty eight, Marcus twenty six, 397 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: and Jen is twenty six. 398 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 2: Okay, so you think they would have a social media 399 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 2: They probably have Instagram. Like if I'm dating someone, I'm 400 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,400 Speaker 2: gonna follow their Instagram. 401 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you're like, oh, mutuals. 402 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 2: Mutuals. But like, Mark's probably the type of guy that's 403 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 2: like very conscious about those things, like his appearance, because 404 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,640 Speaker 2: it feels like Mark is very conscious about his appearance 405 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 2: and his social media life. So of course he didn't 406 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 2: post her after going dating over two to three weeks. Yeah, 407 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,879 Speaker 2: and he probably unfollowed her, and she probably like she 408 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,640 Speaker 2: meant have blocked him, probably blocked him, was like whatever, you. 409 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: Know a while later when they started dating, she wouldn't 410 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 1: have noticed that there was like a yeah, there might 411 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 1: not have been a mutual follower if she blocked him. 412 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, but like the last name, like if you knew 413 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 2: their last name, Yeah, that's the only thing, because how 414 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 2: could she not know after a year. But unless she 415 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,240 Speaker 2: like goes out on dates with other guys and didn't 416 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,199 Speaker 2: really think anything of it. 417 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: No, but yeah, they have low contact. I don't know, 418 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't believe anything's fishy's anything fishy's 419 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,679 Speaker 1: going on yet true. I think I think they're in 420 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,560 Speaker 1: the clear so far, but there is a juicy update. Okay, okay, 421 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: but there might be some red flogs on the horizon. 422 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: Update November eleventh, two months later. I couldn't post this 423 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: to the same forum, so I'm posting this directly to 424 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: my profile in case anyone is interested in an update. 425 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,640 Speaker 1: It's been a while since I've posted, but a few 426 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 1: things have happened since my last talk with Mark, so 427 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: I've been low contact with Mark since our last conversation. 428 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 1: I haven't called him and he hasn't called me, and 429 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: our only interactions have been in family settings. As it stands, 430 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: my mom is now upset that Mark is still uninvited 431 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 1: from my wedding. It started with a comment made during 432 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: my younger sister, Sophie's twenty two female that's me birthday. 433 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 1: Her boyfriend of I think four years proposed her at 434 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: the end of the night at twenty two Jesus congratulations, 435 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: wow ooh boy. Her boyfriend of I think four years 436 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: proposed her at the end of the night, and we 437 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 1: sat around talking about what she visioned for her dream wedding. 438 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,119 Speaker 1: Everyone's getting proposed in this. 439 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 2: Family except for Mark. 440 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: Except for Mark. She talked a bit about wanting a 441 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: destination wedding and her ideas for the cake and dress. 442 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,199 Speaker 1: Then she said something along the lines of teddy, I 443 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: know Mark's ban from your wedding, but you won't care 444 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: if he comes to mine, right. I laughed it off 445 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: and told her I can't get mad about her guest list, 446 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 1: even if I wanted to. My mom gave me this 447 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,439 Speaker 1: weird look and asked if Mark was still not invited 448 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: to my wedding. I told her yes, and she got irritated. 449 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: She told me she thought I was joking and said 450 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: I was being unreasonable to go through with banning him 451 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: from the wedding since he's family. Wait, but Mark also 452 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 1: said he didn't want to come anyway. Yeah, so it's 453 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: not like he's even banning because, like they both agreed 454 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 1: that it was probably the best. 455 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,640 Speaker 2: For him to come. He quit before you fired him. 456 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. Literally, I feel like maybe the mom doesn't know this. 457 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: She should, she should be informed, but nobody told her 458 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: it was a mutual thing. 459 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 2: Actually, I think the mom's still going to be like, oh, 460 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 2: my sons can't be together. I felt, as a parent, like, 461 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: that's probably what's going through her head. Yeah, which I 462 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 2: don't know if you haven't, but she's gonna have to 463 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:02,439 Speaker 2: deal with it. 464 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: She's gonna have to deal with it. There's another wedding, 465 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:05,879 Speaker 1: it's fine. 466 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, they'll be at that one. 467 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: She accused me of holding a grudge just to be petty. 468 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: I reminded her that he and I read on him 469 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: not coming. I then told her that this wasn't the 470 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: time to talk about my wedding, since the day was 471 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: about Sophie, and if Mark or her want to talk 472 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,679 Speaker 1: about my wedding, they can call me another time. Sophie 473 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: laid into my mom a bit about trying to make 474 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: her special day about Mark, and my mom dropped the issue. 475 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,520 Speaker 1: For those of you who might be wondering, Mark wasn't 476 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,919 Speaker 1: at Sophie's party because he apparently had to work and 477 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 1: couldn't make it. A few days later, my mom stopped 478 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: by my house and said she wanted to discuss my wedding. 479 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: She asked me why I was so adamant about Mark 480 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: not coming to my wedding. She said that I shouldn't 481 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 1: be so insecure about Mark and Jen's previous relationship and 482 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 1: that uninviting him was a step too far. Oh my god, 483 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 1: she's not listening. I told her that Mark and I 484 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: mutually agreed on him not coming to the wedding. He 485 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,679 Speaker 1: keeps ving to repeat this, and he can come to 486 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: me about it himself. He has a problem with it. 487 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: We got into an argument, and she said that if 488 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,919 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to reinvite Mark, then she would not 489 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: be coming either, because I'm ostracizing her son. I shrugged 490 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,199 Speaker 1: and told her, if that's what she wants, then she 491 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: can toss her invite in the trash because I won't 492 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 1: beg her to be there. She asked me if I 493 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: would really be okay with her not attending, and I 494 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: told her it wouldn't be the first time she missed 495 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: an event of mine because of Mark. Okay, there's too 496 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:29,199 Speaker 1: clearly some favoritism. Yeah, yikes. She said I was being 497 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: an a hole for throwing her past mistakes in her face, 498 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: and she stormed out. I then started getting messages and 499 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: phone calls from her and a few family members about 500 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 1: the whole situation, saying I was in the wrong and 501 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: urging me to invite Mark. Just to keep the peace. 502 00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 1: Jen's also been getting messages from my mom asking her 503 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,280 Speaker 1: to talk to me and get me to change my mind, 504 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 1: but to my knowledge, she hasn't been responding. 505 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,359 Speaker 2: Dude, neither of them want them to be. 506 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 1: But no, I don't understand why everyone's pushing it. They 507 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: don't like Mark does not want to be there. The 508 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,359 Speaker 1: people affected by it. 509 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, have already acknowledged each other and okay, are okay 510 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 2: with it? God leave them alone. 511 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 1: To message Jen too, yic. So far, most of my 512 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: mom's side of the family are standing in solidarity with 513 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:18,440 Speaker 1: her and not attending. WHOA what is her problem? She's 514 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,919 Speaker 1: like trying to sabotage his wedding. Well, my dad and 515 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: his side of the family, which is only my aunt 516 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 1: and uncle and their two kids, agree with me and 517 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,119 Speaker 1: are still coming. My sisters are also still coming to 518 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: the wedding, and of course Jen's family too also. I 519 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: talked to Mark about it and asked him if he 520 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 1: had a problem with not having an invite. He said 521 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: he uninvited himself in the first place, and he doesn't 522 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 1: get why they're making a big deal because he still 523 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,479 Speaker 1: doesn't want to go. So they're a sad page This 524 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 1: family is bonkers. What is their problem? 525 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 2: I feel like Mark and Op need to like, you 526 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 2: can get a family dinner together. 527 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:55,160 Speaker 1: But hey, okay, we don't like each other, we don't 528 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: want to go to the wedding. 529 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 2: And we're okay with it, so figure it out. 530 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, he told me to leave him out of the 531 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: fighting because he's not involved, and he said he'd tell 532 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 1: her the same. As of now, I'm back to being 533 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: low contact with my mom, but my dad and I 534 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 1: are still on decent terms. I'm still deciding on whether 535 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: I'll reinvite my mom and her family should they change 536 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 1: their mind about the boycott, but the chances are low. 537 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,719 Speaker 1: And I told my dad this too, which he understands. 538 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 1: For now, Jen and I started looking into downsizing the 539 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:26,399 Speaker 1: venue since the guest list is significantly smaller. That's so sad. 540 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 2: That is pretty sad. 541 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: I mean, you said money, you'll save money. It's very 542 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: sad though, that this is the hill that they're dying on, 543 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 1: when again, Mark Andnop have already talked about this. Yeah. 544 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:46,359 Speaker 1: Update three, this story never ends. My mom is uninvited 545 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,960 Speaker 1: from the wedding indefinitely. WHOA, that's big. 546 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 2: Wow. 547 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,320 Speaker 1: About two weeks after she decided to not come to 548 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: the wedding. She came by and said she wanted to 549 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: clear the air and talk about everything. We agreed and 550 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: invited her to join us for dinner. Jen made her 551 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: a plate of food and I asked her if she 552 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 1: was still planning on not coming to the wedding. She 553 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 1: said that while she wants to, she can't get over 554 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: me not inviting Mark because of a simple mistake. I 555 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: reminded her that this simple mistake was proposing to my 556 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 1: fiance with me sitting less than three feet away, and 557 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: she said it was just a joke. Jen asked her 558 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 1: why she wanted to talk if she was maintaining the 559 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: same stance on Mark coming to the wedding. She said 560 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 1: she wanted to talk to Jen and she was hoping 561 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 1: Jen would hear out and talk me into inviting Mark again. 562 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 1: She apparently assumed I was at work and she'd be 563 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 1: able to catch her alone. What Jen politely told her 564 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 1: that she understood her thought process, but she wouldn't have 565 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: had that conversation anyway without me present. Since this is 566 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,639 Speaker 1: about my brother, I can't believe the mom is trying 567 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: to go behind. 568 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 2: Trying to manipulate the situation. 569 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom made a comment somewhere in the lines 570 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: of Jen being spineless and unable to have a conversation 571 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 1: without me thinking for her, which started a pretty heated 572 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: back and forth between the three of us before Jen 573 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: told her to get out. She got up and started 574 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: walking towards the door, and my mom followed her, still 575 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: screaming at her. By this point, she's yelling about her 576 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,840 Speaker 1: tearing her family apart. While Jen was unlocking the front door, 577 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,399 Speaker 1: my mom grabbed her hair and pulled her to the ground, 578 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,159 Speaker 1: still screaming. She hit her and tried to claw her face, 579 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 1: and I dragged her off of her and threw her outside. 580 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 2: Oh my god, what the fuck? 581 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:27,680 Speaker 1: Call the police? 582 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 2: Wait? Wait? Wait what? 583 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: The mom attacked her? 584 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 2: That came out of nowhere. 585 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: Mark and the mom are crazy? What wait? 586 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 2: I what? I'm speechless. 587 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: She attacked her? I hope they called the police on 588 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 1: this mom, Yes, honestly, because that's not okay. I'm glad 589 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 1: that she's not invited to the wedding because she's showing 590 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,439 Speaker 1: her true colors. She banged on the door for a 591 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: few minutes while I made sure Jen was okay, before 592 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 1: she left and called the both of us repeatedly. When 593 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: I was sure Jen was okay, I texted my mom 594 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 1: and told her not to bother reaching out again because 595 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: we'll never speak to her again. I called my dad 596 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,880 Speaker 1: and sisters and told them what happened to My dad 597 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: was surprised and tried to make excuses, saying she'd been 598 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: stressed about the whole situation for a while. My sisters 599 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: say they knew she'd snap eventually since she's always been 600 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,680 Speaker 1: a crazy bee, and they said they'd come and make 601 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 1: sure Jenn's okay. I thought those sisters are nice. 602 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 2: This sister's the only sane ones of this family. 603 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: I asked Jenn if she wanted to press charges, but 604 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: she declined and said she only wanted to cut contact 605 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 1: with her for good. I told her that part was obvious, 606 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: but she should still talk to the police since she 607 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: was physically assaulted. But she doesn't want my mom to 608 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 1: get arrested. This Jenn's so sweet. My sisters and Jen's 609 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: mom came by to comfort her, thankfully, so she's doing okay. 610 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: My mom is blocked on everything until Jen says otherwise. 611 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 1: I genuinely don't know what to do now. Jen doesn't 612 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,120 Speaker 1: want to go to the police because she'd feel guilty 613 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 1: having her arrested over this. But my sisters and I 614 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 1: want to commence her and I'd at least want documentation 615 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: in case something happens in the future. 616 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, be good to document it but not press charges. Yeah. 617 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 1: You can be like I don't want to press charges, 618 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,360 Speaker 1: but I do want to document this thing. 619 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yikes. 620 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: Oh boy boy o boy o boy a boy. There 621 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: are some relevant comments and a juicy update. I don't 622 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 1: know how much juicier we can get. 623 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,640 Speaker 2: Insane, what like, what do you what do you do? 624 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 2: I mean you have to cut contacts. 625 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely cut contact if someone's attacked your partner. 626 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 2: Your own mother, your mother. It's just insane that she 627 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:37,160 Speaker 2: won't give this up. 628 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, like off of something that Mark and op already 629 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: are angree. 630 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 2: It's over insanity. 631 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: Bad mom. I don't like mom. Relevant comments. All of 632 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 1: this could have been avoided if Mark had sat down 633 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: with your mom and taken responsibility. Opie says he absolutely could, 634 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: but I don't think he knows what accountability means. I 635 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: really do believe he thinks he has nothing to do 636 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: with their mom's act, and I don't think anything I 637 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: say will be enough to convince him that everything she 638 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,600 Speaker 1: does is for him and her own selfish gain op 639 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 1: comments on November twelfth to someone saying that you should 640 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: really press charges. Jen is still against formal charges, but 641 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 1: after reading some of your comments with me and a 642 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: long talk about how this could escalate, she agreed to 643 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: have a documented with the police just in case she 644 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 1: wants to talk to my dad about possibly getting her 645 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: back in therapy or some kind of treatment for her 646 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 1: erratic behavior. And of course we are moving forward with 647 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: no contact, and there is, as I said, a juicy update. 648 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,880 Speaker 1: Should we just get right into it? Yeah, jump into 649 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: the juice. Let's freaking go. 650 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 2: No way, she said that what you said, let's freaking go. 651 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 2: That's huge? Why? Because like that pumps me up. 652 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: Let's freaking good. Yeah, juicy update. Let's pump up because 653 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: this is a long story. Yeah, juicy updates freaking good. Okay, 654 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 1: unless you listening to this at night, I'm sorry, sorry, 655 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: did you see up date. 656 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 2: Too bad? 657 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: Some background on my relationship with my parents. Some people 658 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,719 Speaker 1: were asking questions about my mom and my decision not 659 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: to be open with Jen about my relationship with my parents. 660 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: I forgot that he had already been little contact with 661 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,680 Speaker 1: him and then tried again to have a relationship with 662 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 1: him because of the sisters. So there's already precedent for 663 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 1: this behavior. I figured I could give some background on 664 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 1: why we're so strained. Like some of you said Mark 665 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,920 Speaker 1: was the golden child. Mark was my mom's a baby boy, 666 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 1: and she didn't do much to try and hide it, 667 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: or we've read a few I imagine playing favorites on 668 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: your own children. 669 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 2: Why what makes Mark stand out so more? 670 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's Mark doing dating a bunch of people? Yeah, 671 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think that if you're gonna play 672 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: favorites on your children to this extent, I don't know 673 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: if I don't know how parenting works, and maybe you 674 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,840 Speaker 1: do have favorites, but like, if you're gonna blatantly show favoritism, 675 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: then you shouldn't have children. 676 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 2: This is true. 677 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 1: They didn't spend much time with my sisters and I 678 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 1: like normal parents did with their kids unless they had to. 679 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: But they'd spent time with Mark as often as possible, 680 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 1: like taking him out shopping while we stayed with the sitter, 681 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: are bringing him home his favorite food and toys from 682 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: the store. When they usually shop alone, he usually got 683 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 1: better things compared to the rest of us, like new 684 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: expensive clothes while ours were thrifted, or new toys just 685 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: for him compared to old toys we had to share 686 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: with each other. If my sisters and I got gifts, 687 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: they were for us to share. But my mom made 688 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: it pretty clear that Mark's things were only for him 689 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 1: and we shouldn't touch it. I feel like that was 690 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 1: her idea with Jen. She was like, that was the Mark, 691 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,280 Speaker 1: Like that was Mark's girlfriend, You shouldn't have gotten a relationship. 692 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: She seems messed up. When Mark would screw up, I'd 693 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: get punished for not being a good role model and 694 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 1: showing him the proper way to behave. For example, Mark 695 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 1: went through a phase of breaking his toys and I 696 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 1: got the beating because he obviously learned that behavior from me. 697 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 1: Oh wow, your parents were just a brute abusive. That's horrible. 698 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: Oh my god. When he was eight, Mark got in 699 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 1: trouble at school for trying to push a kid down 700 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,360 Speaker 1: the stairs. I was grounded for two weeks and told 701 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: to apologize to the kid for not teaching my brother. 702 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 2: Right. 703 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 1: Oh, they're parentifying him. Whoa wow, this is horrible. It 704 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 1: seems like there's some like kind of physical stuff going 705 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,600 Speaker 1: on at home. Yeah, and it makes more sense why 706 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 1: the mom. It doesn't seem like it's out of nowhere 707 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 1: for the mom to attack gen. 708 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 709 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 1: When I turned thirteen, I pushed for my parents to 710 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: start giving me an allowance. They agreed as long as 711 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,840 Speaker 1: I did household chores like mowing the lawn, taking out 712 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 1: the trash, raking leaves, et cetera. It was usually somewhere 713 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,400 Speaker 1: around twenty five dollars a week to help me start saving. 714 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 1: Mark saw that I was getting money, and he begged 715 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: my parents for allowance too. Instead of making work, ten 716 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,400 Speaker 1: dollars of my allowance was given to him each week 717 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: because we were doing such a good job with our 718 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: choys that he never touched. Whenever I asked him to help, 719 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: he'd tell me it's not his job to do chores, 720 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 1: so why should he bother. It was around this time 721 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: that I started really distancing myself from my brother. The 722 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,960 Speaker 1: time time I entered high school, we only talked to 723 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,479 Speaker 1: each other when we needed small favors or when we 724 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 1: absolutely had to. I got my first job when I 725 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,560 Speaker 1: was seventeen because I wanted to finally get my own 726 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: car and make money. That they couldn't force me to 727 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 1: give to Mark. My oldest sister, Maggie, helped me start 728 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 1: my own bank account and showed me how to properly 729 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,360 Speaker 1: budget and save my money. I got my first car 730 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 1: at eighteen, after all my hard work. When Mark got 731 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,000 Speaker 1: his license, my parents asked me to let him use 732 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: my car to get around and for extra practice behind 733 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:31,280 Speaker 1: the wheel. Reluctantly I agreed, and for a while the 734 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: arrangement was fine. Mark used my car when I didn't 735 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 1: need it and helped maintain it pretty well. When he 736 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 1: expressed wanting my parents to buy him his own car, 737 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,240 Speaker 1: my mom came to me and told me to give 738 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 1: him my car because he needed it more. Whoa wow. 739 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: When I refuse, she threatened to kick me out. We 740 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: got into a fight that night, which ended with her 741 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 1: giving Mark my car and taking me to transfer ownership 742 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: of it to him within the falling few days. Since 743 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: I didn't have anywhere else I could go at the time, 744 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: I just sucked it up and signed it over. 745 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:02,600 Speaker 2: Sure. 746 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: Oh my god, these parents are horrible. 747 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:05,720 Speaker 2: What the heck? 748 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 1: These parents are horrible people. Yeah, I'm glad that they're 749 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,799 Speaker 1: not coming to the wedding. I don't think I would 750 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,879 Speaker 1: have invited them to the wedding period after this. If 751 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: this was like my childhood, I would not have invited 752 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: them to the wedding. But also I understand wanting to 753 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,600 Speaker 1: like it seems like, oh, he did cut contact and 754 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: then tried to reestablish that, and it's clearly they do 755 00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 1: not deserve that. 756 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 757 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: When I graduated high school, both of my parents skip 758 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: my graduation because Mark didn't want to sit in a 759 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 1: long ceremony just to see me get a piece of paper, 760 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: and my mom didn't want to leave him alone for 761 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,480 Speaker 1: the night. So I only had the support of my 762 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 1: sister's and my aunt and uncle who wanted to take 763 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 1: me out. They ended up having to bring me bring 764 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 1: me home at my parents' request because they made me 765 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,320 Speaker 1: dinner to make it up for me. It was a 766 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,800 Speaker 1: dinner I couldn't eat because my mom puts shrimp and 767 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,360 Speaker 1: chicken on the same serving dish and I'm allergic to shellfish. 768 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: These parents are horrible, Like I don't know how many 769 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 1: times I can say it, because they just keep being horrible. 770 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 2: Like the more you read, you'd be like, oh, even 771 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 2: more horrible. Example three hundred. Yeah, we're terrible. 772 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,720 Speaker 1: They're terrible, horrible. Yes. My first year out of high school, 773 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,560 Speaker 1: I worked two jobs to buy myself another car YO, 774 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 1: and at the start of the new school year, I 775 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 1: moved away from college and cut contact with them. They 776 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,319 Speaker 1: mostly my mom tried to reach out for the first 777 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: few months via social media and Sophie, but I never responded, 778 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,480 Speaker 1: and I told Sophie she would be cut off too 779 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: if she kept trying. Oh that's sad though, when she 780 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 1: couldn't get to me through Sophie. Oh, I see. I 781 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,880 Speaker 1: thought Sophie was just trying to reach out, but it 782 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 1: seems like the mom is using Sophie to get to Yeah, okay, yeah, 783 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,440 Speaker 1: I understand. When she couldn't get to meet through Sophie, 784 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,440 Speaker 1: she tried going through my older sister Charlotte, and a 785 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,880 Speaker 1: few times through Maggie and Mark, until I threatened to 786 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,240 Speaker 1: file a restraining order for harassment. It was a bluff 787 00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 1: because I had no idea how to do it, but 788 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,600 Speaker 1: it managed to scare her off, and the most I 789 00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 1: got from her were happy holiday texts over the years. 790 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: Around the time I moved back, Charlotte told me that 791 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 1: they had been seeing a family therapist at Charlotte's request, 792 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: and my parents wanted to apologize for their treatment of us. 793 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 1: I was hesitant, but I agreed as long as they 794 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,440 Speaker 1: would be genuine, and the reconciliation process started when I 795 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 1: moved back home. That doesn't even scratch the surface of 796 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: everything they put me through, and it took a lot 797 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,359 Speaker 1: for me to even begin to let them back into 798 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: my life. When I met Jen, I wasn't sure where 799 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: my relationship with her was going, or where my relationship 800 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 1: with my parents was going. I didn't want to mention 801 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 1: my family at all, mostly because I was ready to 802 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: cut contact again if I need to. Jen was understanding 803 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,520 Speaker 1: of it being a source subject and didn't press for more. 804 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,719 Speaker 1: I hope this helps shed some light on some of 805 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 1: the questions I've been seeing pop up, and there are 806 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 1: some relevant comments, but any thoughts. 807 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 2: This is nuts, all those little things. I mean good 808 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 2: that they're like. 809 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,280 Speaker 1: Going to therapy, go to therapy, but but yeah, they're 810 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,560 Speaker 1: just really awful. 811 00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:06,720 Speaker 2: This is so sad to see that the mom seemed 812 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,719 Speaker 2: to have come along ways since then and they. 813 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 1: Just ruined it, just ruin everything or seemingly came a 814 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: long way, pretended that she came a long way, and 815 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 1: then clearly didn't. Yeah, like clearly had all of those 816 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: same problems that Op he grew up with. But there 817 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 1: are some relevant comments. Okay, oh on why Ope, he 818 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 1: didn't have the reconciliation depend on them reimbursing him for 819 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: the car. I wouldn't even thought about that. 820 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, he worked hard for the car. 821 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,840 Speaker 1: Uh Eh, getting rare embursed for the car wasn't a 822 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 1: hill I was willing to die on since the damage 823 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 1: was already done. Even now, it's hard to believe Mark 824 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,359 Speaker 1: was the favorite. There wasn't anything really special about him. 825 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:52,759 Speaker 1: I don't mean that as an insult either. He was 826 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 1: just a regular kid. My parents weren't having fertility issues. 827 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,799 Speaker 1: He wasn't a miracle. It wasn't a meal ticket. They 828 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: weren't having marital problem and using a baby as a 829 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,640 Speaker 1: band aid. He was just born, and they decided to 830 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,120 Speaker 1: love him more than us. And believe me, they didn't 831 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: think this was normal. They just have a soft spot 832 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,280 Speaker 1: for our parents because there are because there are parents, 833 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:16,560 Speaker 1: and they believe they have redeeming qualities. Oh the other kids, Okay, 834 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,400 Speaker 1: you're sure you're not adopted? I'm biological. Unfortunately, they couldn't 835 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,520 Speaker 1: deny me even if they wanted to. I used to 836 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,879 Speaker 1: make excuses for them, but after a while I had 837 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 1: to admit that they're just two people who should never 838 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 1: have had kids. Absolutely. Yeah, if you're going to treat 839 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: your kids this way, I just don't have kids. 840 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:35,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't bother. 841 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 1: Don't bother. But guess what what there's a juicy update. There, 842 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 1: there's more. This story never ends. I really hope it 843 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 1: ends happily like Jen and Op get married and never 844 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:53,719 Speaker 1: see the family again. Juicy update. Yeah, woohoo. Seventeen days later, 845 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,759 Speaker 1: I want to thank everyone who's taken the time to 846 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,600 Speaker 1: give me advice on what to do going forward, and 847 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,799 Speaker 1: all the kind messages and comments I've gotten over the 848 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,520 Speaker 1: past few days slash weeks. Jen and I have read 849 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,640 Speaker 1: the comments together and everything is appreciated. To answer the 850 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 1: most common question about why I chose to reconnect after everything, 851 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:13,840 Speaker 1: the short answer is because I would do anything for 852 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:14,880 Speaker 1: my sisters. 853 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:15,319 Speaker 2: Oh. 854 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,600 Speaker 1: Charlotte wanted the entire family around for the birth of 855 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: her first child and to help her while she adjusts. 856 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,799 Speaker 1: She didn't want part time aunts or uncles who would 857 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,319 Speaker 1: only visit her kid during birthdays and holidays. She was 858 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,759 Speaker 1: never the type to ask for much of anything growing up, 859 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 1: so when she asked if I would be willing to 860 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 1: try for her, I agreed because it would make her happy. 861 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,560 Speaker 1: I also think part of me hope that maybe they'd changed. 862 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,839 Speaker 1: I don't regret trying to reconcile either. My parents are 863 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,240 Speaker 1: still terrible, but I met the love of my life, 864 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,280 Speaker 1: so I call it a win. Aw A few people 865 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,239 Speaker 1: wanted to know if there's an update, so here we go. 866 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 1: Sorry if it's a mess or confusing. A lot has happened. 867 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,960 Speaker 1: We filed a report with the police, good good, and 868 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,719 Speaker 1: we were told that even though Jen doesn't want to 869 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,919 Speaker 1: pursue anything, it's not up to us to decide whether 870 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,760 Speaker 1: it goes further, but they would keep our preference in mind. 871 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:02,280 Speaker 2: Cool. 872 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,520 Speaker 1: We provided some pretty decent evidence of the assault, including 873 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,960 Speaker 1: pictures of Jen's face and texts with my mom and 874 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,440 Speaker 1: dad talking about what happened. We were advised to report 875 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,120 Speaker 1: and record any other incidents with my mom going further 876 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,880 Speaker 1: in case anything else happens. Considering where we live, I 877 00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:19,920 Speaker 1: doubt it'll go anywhere, but at least we have it 878 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,040 Speaker 1: on record. I got about one hundred angry text messages 879 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,280 Speaker 1: that tell me they at least spoke with her regarding 880 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,800 Speaker 1: the incident. Well, maybe you shouldn't have a taxed someone. 881 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, that would have been the sensible thing to do, 882 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 2: But I guess, I guess your brain cells aren't working. 883 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,520 Speaker 1: My mom tried to corner me leaving my job and 884 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,960 Speaker 1: screamed at me about trying to ruin her life. She 885 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,960 Speaker 1: screamed that I was an awful son for trying to 886 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:44,640 Speaker 1: get her arrested over a small misunderstanding, and she didn't 887 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 1: understand what she'd done to deserve being punished like this. 888 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,480 Speaker 1: Give her an itemized bill of all the things she 889 00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,400 Speaker 1: did to deserve being punished like this. I told her 890 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 1: that if she didn't like being in legal trouble, then 891 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,200 Speaker 1: she shouldn't have hit Gen. She demanded I tell the 892 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 1: police to forget at the report, which I refused. I 893 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,239 Speaker 1: told her exactly what the officer said about it being 894 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: out of my hands. She had a tantrum in the 895 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 1: parking lot and hit me a few times, just on 896 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,000 Speaker 1: the chest and arm, before security intervened and dragged her 897 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,479 Speaker 1: off the property. I had to talk to my boss 898 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 1: about the incident. Luckily, she was understanding about everything going on. 899 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,920 Speaker 1: After I explained what was happening. 900 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:23,160 Speaker 2: W boss. Nice boss. 901 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, nice boss. I'm glad that they understood, because 902 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:27,000 Speaker 1: if she. 903 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 2: Went there did that and then he got like fire 904 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:31,279 Speaker 2: friend or fired. No. 905 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: When I got home, I told Jen what happened. She 906 00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,279 Speaker 1: was upset and asked that we discussed the plan with 907 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,279 Speaker 1: my family moving forward. It was a long talk, but 908 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,600 Speaker 1: we took the advice of some redditors and decided to 909 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,239 Speaker 1: go completely no contact with my family aside from my 910 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,200 Speaker 1: sisters Nice. We agree that having them in my life 911 00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 1: is adding unnecessary stress for the both of us, and 912 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,840 Speaker 1: we aren't even married yet. She told me she wanted 913 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 1: to consider moving away and putting some distance between us 914 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 1: and my family. She told me that she tried to 915 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,720 Speaker 1: stay out of my family issues because it's not her place, 916 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 1: but she refuses to put up with my mom and 917 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,400 Speaker 1: her behavior or my dad enabling her abuse. Absolutely, that 918 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,239 Speaker 1: is such a fair That is such a fair thing 919 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:13,279 Speaker 1: to ask. A lot more was said too much to 920 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,400 Speaker 1: put in this post, but I agreed with her that 921 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,439 Speaker 1: they were more trouble than their worth, and I also 922 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 1: don't want to put up with this anymore. I also 923 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:21,640 Speaker 1: agreed to go to therapy, and she's helping me to 924 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 1: find a therapist. No, that's good. I'm glad the parents 925 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,359 Speaker 1: should go back to the therapy. I decided to call 926 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,239 Speaker 1: my dad after a talk and let him know I 927 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,719 Speaker 1: would be going no contact. He didn't answer the first 928 00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 1: time I called, so I left a message asking to 929 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,879 Speaker 1: have a long talk. When he called back, he asked 930 00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,360 Speaker 1: if it was okay for my mom to be a 931 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: part of this conversation. No. No, I told him it 932 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 1: was okay since she needed to hear what I had 933 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 1: to say too. The conversation went about as well as 934 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,200 Speaker 1: you can expect. I told them both that Jen and 935 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,600 Speaker 1: I are cutting them out of our lives. My dad 936 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:54,759 Speaker 1: demanded to know why I would do something like that 937 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,360 Speaker 1: after going through all the trouble of repairing a relationship. 938 00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:01,040 Speaker 1: Because you destroyed it, you destroy the relationship. I told 939 00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 1: him that this entire thing with Mark had shown me 940 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,920 Speaker 1: that nothing is actually repaired between us, and as far 941 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 1: as they're concerned, the world revolves around only my mom 942 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,120 Speaker 1: and my little brother. I told them that their continued 943 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,040 Speaker 1: favoritism of Mark has brought our relationship to a point 944 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,360 Speaker 1: of no return, and that I wasn't interested in holding 945 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,320 Speaker 1: onto a failing relationship. I told them that I agreed 946 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,399 Speaker 1: to reconcile for Charlotte's sake, but I don't appreciate all 947 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 1: of the disrespect towards me and Jen, and that I 948 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,360 Speaker 1: wouldn't put up with it anymore for both of our sakes. 949 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,920 Speaker 1: To my mom specifically, I told her that I was 950 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,200 Speaker 1: tired of her using me as a scapegoat for her 951 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,640 Speaker 1: bad parenting and Mark's attitude. I also told her that 952 00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 1: I would never forgive her for what she did to 953 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,360 Speaker 1: Jen and what she did to me and my sisters 954 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,120 Speaker 1: growing up. She started to say how I should move 955 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,600 Speaker 1: on like my sisters have, but I cut her off 956 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,080 Speaker 1: and told her that she should take their forgiveness and 957 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,799 Speaker 1: move on because she would never receive it from me, 958 00:43:56,320 --> 00:44:01,319 Speaker 1: especially after everything she's done these last few weeks. Yeah, 959 00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 1: she started crying and asking me how I could treat 960 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,239 Speaker 1: her like such a villain, because you are, because you're 961 00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 1: a villain. 962 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 2: You're doing villain activities. 963 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:14,239 Speaker 1: This is villain stuff, this is textbook villain activity. Yes, 964 00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: this is joker level. 965 00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,440 Speaker 2: This is joker level. 966 00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,759 Speaker 1: Acted like one stop it stop. I told her she 967 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,520 Speaker 1: could only be upset with herself because I've done nothing wrong. 968 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,400 Speaker 1: She cried, harder and told me how much she regretted 969 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:34,560 Speaker 1: having me and how I've only tried to ruin her life. Oh, mom, 970 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:39,360 Speaker 1: is al whoa awful psychotic person? 971 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 2: The villain? 972 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:41,320 Speaker 1: You're the villain? 973 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:42,400 Speaker 2: How can you not see that? 974 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 1: I love it that she's like? How why are you 975 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,560 Speaker 1: painting me as the villain? I wish you were never born? 976 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,400 Speaker 1: That's villain stuff. 977 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,960 Speaker 2: I'm just glad he didn't become the joker growing up, 978 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:52,520 Speaker 2: but Mark kind of did. 979 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,160 Speaker 1: Mark did. Mark's the joker? 980 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,360 Speaker 2: Oh man. 981 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,040 Speaker 1: This started a heated argument between her and Jen once again, 982 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,080 Speaker 1: and Jen told her, in much more colorful words, that 983 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:07,160 Speaker 1: she was disgusting and plenty of other nice names for 984 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,560 Speaker 1: saying something like that to me. I don't know if 985 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,719 Speaker 1: she left the room or just decided to shut up, 986 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: but my mom stopped speaking. When Jen was done speaking 987 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,080 Speaker 1: to her, my dad said he wasn't okay with being 988 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,960 Speaker 1: shut out of my life and asked me to try 989 00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,440 Speaker 1: and understand my mom's point of view. He said that 990 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,040 Speaker 1: she was also struggling because her kids were at odds 991 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:28,719 Speaker 1: because of you, because of the mom, because her kids 992 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,680 Speaker 1: were at odds, and I was being unfair to punish 993 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,080 Speaker 1: her for her struggles with raising and caring for us. 994 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,000 Speaker 1: The last thing he said was that we were a 995 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 1: family and I shouldn't let past mistakes stop us from 996 00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:43,399 Speaker 1: moving forward together. These aren't past mistakes, these are current mistakes. Yeah, 997 00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,040 Speaker 1: these are things that she said two seconds ago. I 998 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,160 Speaker 1: told him that the only person she ever cared for 999 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,600 Speaker 1: was Mark and herself, and there was nothing he could 1000 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,279 Speaker 1: say or do to make me change my mind. I 1001 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:54,880 Speaker 1: told him that it was up to him whether to 1002 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 1: keep my number, but I would be blocking him and 1003 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 1: my mom everywhere, and I wouldn't be reaching out again. 1004 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,720 Speaker 1: Then I hung up. Afterwards, I sent a long email 1005 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,640 Speaker 1: with a link to my posts attached to my entire family, 1006 00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,400 Speaker 1: uninviting everyone except my aunt and uncle and my sisters 1007 00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,200 Speaker 1: to the wedding. I hadn't cried in a long time, 1008 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,200 Speaker 1: but Jen held me while I cried after running the email, 1009 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,080 Speaker 1: and she assured me we would be okay, Ah Jen. 1010 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,000 Speaker 1: Throughout all of this, I think the moral of the 1011 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,120 Speaker 1: story is Jen is cool. 1012 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, Jen is a queen. 1013 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 1: Jen is a queen. My sisters also reached out to 1014 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 1: me after reading the email. I apologized to Charlotte for 1015 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,960 Speaker 1: not being able to continue reconciling like she wanted, but 1016 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,280 Speaker 1: she told me it was okay and it's not my fault. 1017 00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,920 Speaker 1: I had to cut them off again. The response for 1018 00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,279 Speaker 1: my family has been pretty mixed. Some are angry I 1019 00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:46,239 Speaker 1: aired up family issues on public internet forum because while 1020 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,520 Speaker 1: others are pissed at my parents because they never knew 1021 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,840 Speaker 1: it was this bad. The last person I talked to 1022 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,760 Speaker 1: about everything was Mark. He asked if I was cutting 1023 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,960 Speaker 1: him off to and I told him I wasn't, but 1024 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,719 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be going out of my way to reach 1025 00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,760 Speaker 1: out to him either. He didn't argue and just wished 1026 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,040 Speaker 1: me the best with the wedding, and we haven't spoken since. 1027 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,480 Speaker 1: This is such a testament to how crazy the parents 1028 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,920 Speaker 1: are that Mark is coming out of this looking okay. 1029 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 2: I totally forgot you, like kind of started this. 1030 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:19,920 Speaker 1: Yeah he started this proposed Yeah, but he's like the 1031 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: least crazy in the story. I mean, besides Op and 1032 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,839 Speaker 1: the sisters and yeah, of the craziest in the story. 1033 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:32,480 Speaker 1: Yeah here Mark, Mark is like here, yeah, wow. Nice. 1034 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:35,799 Speaker 1: Right now, Jen and I are looking for a new 1035 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,920 Speaker 1: place to stay. The plan is to move closer to 1036 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,279 Speaker 1: Jen's brother. He lives about three hours from where we 1037 00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,279 Speaker 1: are now, and Jen and I and Jen and I 1038 00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,200 Speaker 1: like the city he's in. 1039 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:43,720 Speaker 2: Nice. 1040 00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:46,040 Speaker 1: I spoke to my boss about transferring, and Jen is 1041 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,440 Speaker 1: looking into the option of working one hundred percent remotely 1042 00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 1: or possibly finding a new job. Okay, and once again 1043 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:56,440 Speaker 1: our venues changed since the guest list is significantly smaller. 1044 00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,399 Speaker 1: My future brother in law is considering letting us use 1045 00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,640 Speaker 1: his lake house for our wedding. That's it's nice that 1046 00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:07,040 Speaker 1: you'll have like a nice brother. Yeah, nice family. 1047 00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,400 Speaker 2: Find another family that though you're. 1048 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,919 Speaker 1: Marrying into a new family. Yeah, new family. Thank guard 1049 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:20,200 Speaker 1: Yeah per or less? Oh yeah, funny. I don't plan 1050 00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,760 Speaker 1: to post any more about this unless the sky falls, 1051 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,600 Speaker 1: at least not until the wedding, because I want to 1052 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:29,480 Speaker 1: move on with life. Please do please move on. You 1053 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,440 Speaker 1: deserve it, you do. But I'll try to answer any 1054 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:35,719 Speaker 1: questions some of you might have. Thanks and happy holidays 1055 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,840 Speaker 1: at it. It took a few days to post this, 1056 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:40,040 Speaker 1: and I had to keep removing details before I could 1057 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,440 Speaker 1: actually post it. If anything's unclear, I'll answer as many 1058 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,200 Speaker 1: questions as it can. And there are two more relevant 1059 00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:51,560 Speaker 1: comments before we finally close out of this very sad saga. 1060 00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,359 Speaker 1: Number one, your mom might try to figure out where 1061 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,839 Speaker 1: you moved to. Oh, pieces aha, I am already anticipating 1062 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,960 Speaker 1: the aftermath of moving. She's going to follow us when 1063 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:03,239 Speaker 1: we move, because that's the kind of crazy she is. 1064 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,400 Speaker 1: When she doesn't get her way, she becomes obsessive until 1065 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,879 Speaker 1: she's forced to stop. I spoke with a lawyer friend 1066 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,400 Speaker 1: of mine to see about possible restraining orders to get 1067 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,959 Speaker 1: to stop her before she starts. And did mom read 1068 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,440 Speaker 1: the comments? According to Sophie, she's read a lot of 1069 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,560 Speaker 1: them and doesn't think Reddit strangers have the right to 1070 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,359 Speaker 1: tell her she's a bad person. L I don't think 1071 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,360 Speaker 1: there's any amending left in me. Wish them the best, 1072 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,480 Speaker 1: just as far from me and my family as possible 1073 00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:34,400 Speaker 1: as you should as you should. Wow, Wow, I'm glad 1074 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,840 Speaker 1: that they went no contact. 1075 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is yikes, insanity. 1076 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,520 Speaker 1: That was insane story. 1077 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,399 Speaker 2: I hate that you have to go through all these 1078 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,399 Speaker 2: measures in order to like stay safe. Yeah, get away 1079 00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 2: from your family, Get. 1080 00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:49,840 Speaker 1: Away from your family who treats you horribly, to protect 1081 00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:51,680 Speaker 1: your future wife. 1082 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:58,080 Speaker 2: I didn't realize how much stress this family gave him, yeah, 1083 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,640 Speaker 2: until he said it's easier to cut him off because 1084 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:03,600 Speaker 2: they're less stressful be less stressful. 1085 00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,960 Speaker 1: If it's easier to cut your entire family off, then 1086 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:10,160 Speaker 1: there there's something wrong with that family. And there was 1087 00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:15,399 Speaker 1: something wrong with that family. Yeah, no, God, I don't 1088 00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:17,480 Speaker 1: even have any like words. 1089 00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,520 Speaker 2: What would you guys have done? Yeah, let's know the comments. 1090 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I would have absolutely cut them off and 1091 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,760 Speaker 1: like found my best to find a restraining order pronto, 1092 00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,360 Speaker 1: because yeah, no, this is none of this is okay. 1093 00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,799 Speaker 1: How to buy a new car, How to buy Yeah, 1094 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:36,200 Speaker 1: they literally stole his car. They stole his They coerced 1095 00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,200 Speaker 1: him into selling his car to his brother. But he 1096 00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,239 Speaker 1: didn't even get the money. You just had to hand 1097 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:40,759 Speaker 1: the car over. 1098 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,120 Speaker 2: I also appreciate Mark being like, yeah, I know, we 1099 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,719 Speaker 2: got beef. Yeah, but this is as far as my 1100 00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:49,160 Speaker 2: beef will go. Well, the mom's beef is like keeps 1101 00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,000 Speaker 2: keeps coming as snowballing