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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just challenged Gwyneth palt Show

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Speaker 1: to a Chubby Bunny competition, but instead of marshmallows in

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Speaker 1: the mouth, it's jade eggs. And you're just gonna have

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Speaker 1: to watch the live scream to find out.

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Speaker 2: Laser Stories the segment where we read weird.

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Speaker 1: News stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we've got a laser. There's other triple murders just

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Speaker 1: this first laser story is out of Michigan. A forty

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Speaker 1: four year old man named Corey Harris was attending a

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Speaker 1: virtual court hearing earlier this month after he'd previously been

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Speaker 1: charged with driving with a suspended license.

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Speaker 2: Not allowed to do that, and.

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Speaker 1: That was months ago and his license is still invalid.

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Speaker 1: So when Corey showed up on zoom for the hearing,

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Speaker 1: the judge noticed something in the.

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Speaker 2: Video and asked him about it. Here's the audio.

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Speaker 3: Mister Harris, are you driving, Ashley, I'm pulling into my

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Speaker 3: doctor's office.

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Speaker 2: Actually i'm parking right now. This is a driving one

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Speaker 2: license suspended. That is correct, and he was just driving

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Speaker 2: and he didn't have a license. Oh is it the

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Speaker 2: charges your entered?

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Speaker 3: Yes, he's suspended and he's just.

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Speaker 2: Driving, that is correct you.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know why he would do that, So

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Speaker 3: defending's bond is revoked in this manner, defending his turn

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Speaker 3: himself into the washing kind of deal. By six pm

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Speaker 3: the day tail you to turn himself in while we

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Speaker 3: resulting the bench weren't with no bond.

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Speaker 2: He could not believe it. And if you haven't seen

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Speaker 2: the video, his face is just like he's literally shot. No,

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Speaker 2: he truly is like what like you can see me

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Speaker 2: almost You cannot make this stuff up.

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Speaker 1: Corey was actually driving while talking to the judge about

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Speaker 1: his suspended license.

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Speaker 2: I think he clearly explained Jeff, he wasn't driving.

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Speaker 1: He was just pulling into a Ye.

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Speaker 2: That clears you for getting there. He was.

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Speaker 1: He was courteous enough to ask everyone to hold type

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Speaker 1: for one second while he parkes.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad he was safe on the road. I thought

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Speaker 2: it was funny.

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Speaker 1: His first answer sounded confident, like, yep, I am driving, imp.

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Speaker 2: Look at me on time for car? I'm here.

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Speaker 1: Afterwards, his public defender asked for an adjournment, but the

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Speaker 1: damage was already done.

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Speaker 2: So yes, the judge provoked his bond, and you heard

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Speaker 2: Corey saying Oh my god, what did I do?

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Speaker 1: And now it's viral. Yeah, this next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of Egypt. Sick day excuses are nothing new, and

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Speaker 1: we know this now because research has just found that

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Speaker 1: workers may have been using him since the beginning of time.

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Speaker 2: It's true.

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Speaker 1: A group of archaeologists just discovered bizarre written down excuses

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Speaker 1: to get out of work on ancient pyramid.

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Speaker 2: Tip meant to work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's way back to twelve hundred and fifty BC

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Speaker 1: and a number of reasons why laborers called in with

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Speaker 1: their different excuses. The first is still pretty common today,

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Speaker 1: with a worker named Pennub missing work because his mother

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Speaker 1: was ill.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean we feel bad for him, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: fourth time she's been sick this month. Way is there

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Speaker 2: a pattern, Penub.

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Speaker 1: The next was Serba, who was unable to work because

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Speaker 1: he was bitten by a scorpion.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, boss was like, so I showed to work yesterday,

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Speaker 2: check it off, ro up some sand down, that's what

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Speaker 2: we do here.

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Speaker 1: And then there was a number of people who wrote

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Speaker 1: that they were going to have to miss work because

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Speaker 1: they were brewing beer.

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Speaker 2: Brilliant or drinking I mean, can it be both? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you do have to taste it right.

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Speaker 1: Apparently that was aok back then, since beer was so

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Speaker 1: important to the workforce that it was treated as a

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Speaker 1: normal type of food.

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Speaker 2: Oh so beer was important. Maybe we go back to

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Speaker 2: the Yeah, I mean the scorpion bite. No, but the

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Speaker 2: beer brewing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, No word on if their requests were ever approved

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Speaker 1: by management, but the archaeologists are pretty sure they did

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Speaker 1: have to take it up with ancient HR.

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Speaker 2: So basically.

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Speaker 1: There's next laser stories out of DMZ Zone Central. There

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Speaker 1: have been reports that North Korea's nuclear program is increasingly sophisticated.

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Speaker 2: My god, what kind of laser story is this, Jeffrey

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Speaker 2: talk about the light things.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting to it because their latest battle tactics are

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Speaker 1: taken straight out of middle school. I know you are

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Speaker 1: I know you are mine. Stop it. We know this

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Speaker 1: because their neighbor, South Korea, has been seeinghundreds of balloons

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Speaker 1: flying across the border. Yeah, not just the high altitude

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Speaker 1: ones that China was sending over here, just massive, regular

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Speaker 1: helium balloons carrying bags of rotten garbage. What is it?

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Speaker 2: The bags like Amazon Prime In North Korea.

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Speaker 1: The bags of trash are filled with stuff like dirty

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Speaker 1: toilet paper, manure, soiled rags, scraps of plastic batteries and

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Speaker 1: other junk, and so the balloons are popping over South

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Speaker 1: Korea and then littering the trash.

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Speaker 2: Everywhere if they're just trying to be jerks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the contents are being analyzed by the South Korean government,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't sound like there's a secret code to solve.

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Speaker 2: As for North.

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Speaker 1: Korea, they admit to doing this as a quote tit

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Speaker 1: for tat action, and yes they actually used.

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Speaker 2: That exact phrase.

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Speaker 1: North Korean officials say they're tired of South Korean activists

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Speaker 1: sending propaganda leaflets and food and medicine and radios in

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Speaker 1: US be sticks containing South Korean news and television dramas

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Speaker 1: over to them in the same way, also via balloon,

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Speaker 1: So tit for task.

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Speaker 2: This isn't a bad idea to what ex's house.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying.

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Speaker 2: Also, North Korea's dad could beat up South Korea's dad.

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Speaker 3: Who's gonna move him?

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of Central Perk headquarters.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever heard this term yet? It's called caffeine delay.

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Speaker 2: Jacked up on that. Yes, this is a secret to

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Speaker 2: my coffee maps.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the idea that it's better to wait an

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Speaker 1: hour or two after you wake up before your first

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Speaker 1: cup of coffee. There's a ton of influencers that claim

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Speaker 1: you get a bigger energy boost if you wait, and

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Speaker 1: it might be true, but is it worth it?

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Speaker 2: Hold on waiting?

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Speaker 1: Your outworks because caffeine binds to the receptors in your

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Speaker 1: brain and it blocks the chemical that makes you drowsy

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Speaker 1: called undenizene, and those levels are actually at their lowest.

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Speaker 2: Right after you wake up, so there's a lot less

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Speaker 2: of it to block. Really early in the morning, you're

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Speaker 2: still resting.

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Speaker 1: Is that why? Yeah, So that's why an immediate cup

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Speaker 1: of coffee first thing in the morning might not do

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Speaker 1: as much as it would as when you're dragging later on.

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Speaker 2: In the day. I am tired, So wait, are we

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Speaker 2: dragging an hour later? It only takes an hour for

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Speaker 2: us to be.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. For most people, there's no harm in having a

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Speaker 1: second cup of coffee later. You'll still get that bigger boost.

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Speaker 1: Plus just the thought of coffee helps Some people wake

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Speaker 1: up seriously, like this guy and morning he's swimming in coffee,

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Speaker 1: like literally swimming inside of a cup of coffee.

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Speaker 2: It's super cute.

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Speaker 1: So he could check it out on our TikTok and

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Speaker 1: that sound means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, same time on Monday.

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Speaker 3: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning,