Speaker 1: Cats up thing, little food for yourself life.
Speaker 2: Oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful.
Speaker 1: Thing beautiful that for a little more exciting, said, he
Speaker 1: can cut your kicking with four thing with Amy Brown,
Speaker 1: Happy Thursday.
Speaker 2: Four Things, Amy here and I've got an og episode
Speaker 2: for you. Four totally different things, although I will say
Speaker 2: the first and the second thing are sort of related,
Speaker 2: Like the title of the first thing is why do
Speaker 2: we put things off that we really want to do?
Speaker 2: And the second thing is just do the dang thing?
Speaker 2: But they are different and when you hear the things,
Speaker 2: you'll understand why. Third thing is the ADHD paradox. I
Speaker 2: found this very interesting when I saw it. And the
Speaker 2: fourth thing encouragement for a season of waiting, because waiting
Speaker 2: is hard, and if you happen to be in a
Speaker 2: season of waiting, this will just give you that extra
Speaker 2: nudge that you need to be patient.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get started.
Speaker 2: First, man, Right, all right, let's talk about why we
Speaker 2: put things off that we really want to do. Like
Speaker 2: I want you to think about something that you really
Speaker 2: wanted to do but you put it off, or that
Speaker 2: you currently really want to do but you are putting
Speaker 2: it off at this exact moment, even though you know
Speaker 2: it's something that you're going to totally enjoy and you
Speaker 2: want to do it.
Speaker 1: I have done this many.
Speaker 2: Times now, about a year and a half ago, I
Speaker 2: think it was maybe even two years at this point.
Speaker 2: Time has been weird lately. I took an improv class
Speaker 2: and I absolutely loved it. I left it feeling energized,
Speaker 2: and I told myself that I would sign up for
Speaker 2: another session soon. So they're eight week courses, yes, but
Speaker 2: guess what, I totally put it off.
Speaker 1: And put it off and put it off.
Speaker 2: I originally signed up for improv after I had that
Speaker 2: teeny tiny role in the Christmas movie Holiday Harmony. My
Speaker 2: scene was in the bathroom. Not sure if y'all saw it.
Speaker 2: My kids thought that my bathroom scene was hilarious. My
Speaker 2: debut in a movie and I had my lines in
Speaker 2: a bathroom. But I loved the entire experience. So after that,
Speaker 2: I decided to take improv lessons and acting lessons to
Speaker 2: you know, hone in on my skills. I obviously should
Speaker 2: have done that stuff before I filmed the movie, but
Speaker 2: I was playing myself and it was sort of a
Speaker 2: last minute thing that I got invited to do, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't have time to take any lessons.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go for it. And I had no
Speaker 2: idea how much I was gonna love the whole thing.
Speaker 2: So then I decided I would like to pursue more
Speaker 2: of these opportunities, So I'm gonna do the acting lessons,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do the improv.
Speaker 1: And I did all.
Speaker 2: That in the and then just stopped, stopped going, didn't
Speaker 2: pursue anything. And I really think it boiled down to
Speaker 2: that I feared the rejection. And I don't know why
Speaker 2: we do this to ourselves, because I know better than
Speaker 2: that I have heard from others. I've even shared on
Speaker 2: this podcast. I know that we have to just go
Speaker 2: for things. We can't fear the failure because even from
Speaker 2: the failure, obstacle is the way we will learn from it.
Speaker 2: We will grow from it. We have the question that
Speaker 2: Donald Miller gave us, what does this make possible? So
Speaker 2: I know all the things, So why was I putting
Speaker 2: it off? Like why did I quit? And then why
Speaker 2: did I just ignore it? Even though I've had it
Speaker 2: on my list for sure the last six to eight months.
Speaker 2: Sign up for another improv class. Sign up for another
Speaker 2: improv class. Like when we know we want something and
Speaker 2: then fear creeps in. Uh, it's the worst when the
Speaker 2: fear wins. And that's what happened to me. I feel
Speaker 2: like we easily can convince ourselves that we don't really
Speaker 2: want it, because that's easier than failing. And it's sort
Speaker 2: of what I started to tell myself. I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: I guess it's not something that I really wanted, because
Speaker 2: if I wanted it, I would be signing up for it.
Speaker 2: Or we tell ourselves that we're going to wait for
Speaker 2: the perfect time, then the perfect time never comes, and
Speaker 2: we think about doing it so much that we exhaust
Speaker 2: ourselves before we even get started. And that's exactly what
Speaker 2: happened to me. However, I had a turning point today.
Speaker 2: I finally signed back up for the improv classes. Like
Speaker 2: before I hit record, I made myself go to the website.
Speaker 2: I signed up. I'm going to be taking classes starting
Speaker 2: in March. It'll be for eight weeks every Tuesday night,
Speaker 2: six thirty to nine thirty. I'm sure I'll run into
Speaker 2: some issues there, but I'm going to have to navigate
Speaker 2: around it. This is something that's important to me. So
Speaker 2: for the next eight weeks, that's where I'm going to
Speaker 2: be on Tuesday nights. You can't miss more than two
Speaker 2: or you have to you start over. And I did
Speaker 2: level one a while back, and I got to do
Speaker 2: level one again because so much time has passed. I
Speaker 2: would feel ridiculous going into level two. So I'm gonna
Speaker 2: start level one. I'm going to see how it goes,
Speaker 2: and then if I still love it, I'm gonna roll
Speaker 2: in to level two. But I'm proud of myself for
Speaker 2: finally signing up for the class, and I hope that
Speaker 2: that will encourage any of you. Right now, if there's
Speaker 2: something you've been putting off, maybe even pause this right
Speaker 2: now and go look up what it is you need
Speaker 2: to do. Go to the website. Can you sign up
Speaker 2: for it? Do you need to look at your calendar?
Speaker 2: What is it you need to do? Like, if you've
Speaker 2: been putting off something, ask yourself why you're putting it off.
Speaker 2: Is it fear, is it perfectionism, is it lack of time,
Speaker 2: whatever it is, Acknowledge why you're putting it off and
Speaker 2: figure out a way to make it work. When we
Speaker 2: do that, it will help get us out of the
Speaker 2: what if cycle, which is what I need to get
Speaker 2: out of, I will just know and I owe it
Speaker 2: to myself to give it a try.
Speaker 1: And so do you.
Speaker 2: All right? So why is it so hard to do
Speaker 2: the thing we know we need to do? This is
Speaker 2: different from the first thing because in the first thing,
Speaker 2: we're putting off something that we want to do. This
Speaker 2: is something that we need to do, and we put
Speaker 2: it off. Why do we do that? Whether it's a
Speaker 2: difficult conversation, maybe sending a hard note or email, or
Speaker 2: making a tough decision, I will put that off and
Speaker 2: then it just causes more trouble for me. I tend
Speaker 2: to get stuck in thought overload. I know this about myself.
Speaker 2: My therapist gave me that term thought overload because I
Speaker 2: have so many thoughts at once and it paralyzes me.
Speaker 2: I was talking to my boyfriend about it the other
Speaker 2: day and he could not relate to me, not one
Speaker 2: single bit. He was like, I don't really know how
Speaker 2: to help you through this. Because I have one thought
Speaker 2: at a time, one task at a time. I finish
Speaker 2: that thought or that task and then I move on
Speaker 2: to the next. I cannot imagine what that must feel like,
Speaker 2: must be amazing for me. I sat down to try
Speaker 2: to figure out what I'm doing when I'm procrastinating a
Speaker 2: hard task, and it boiled down to that I'm overthinking
Speaker 2: every possible outcome. I don't want to deal with feeling uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: like I don't want to deal with the discomfort that
Speaker 2: that moment will cause me, and I somehow convince myself
Speaker 2: that avoiding it will somehow make it easier later, when
Speaker 2: I know with one hundred percent certainty that it does
Speaker 2: not make it easier later. I've shared the buffalo versus
Speaker 2: cow analogy before you know how buffalo will run into
Speaker 2: the storm while cows turn away from it, ultimately staying
Speaker 2: in the storm longer. I've shared that multiple times. I
Speaker 2: even have this gold buffalo that my sister gave me
Speaker 2: as a reminder. When I see the buffalo, I'm like,
Speaker 2: be the buffalo, don't be the cow. Sometimes it's easier
Speaker 2: to be the buffalo, and then sometimes I know I'm
Speaker 2: just being the cal But I have that thought overload
Speaker 2: and I just get paralyzed, like I don't take any
Speaker 2: action when I know that taking action and doing it well,
Speaker 2: That's another thing I get caught up on.
Speaker 1: If I'm being honest.
Speaker 2: Right now, I think about, Oh, I want this to
Speaker 2: be warded so perfectly, and I want to do it well,
Speaker 2: and I want it to be thoughtful, and I want
Speaker 2: it to be kind, and I want to make sure
Speaker 2: I'm staying on my side of the street. This is
Speaker 2: an example of some conversations, like even in co parenting
Speaker 2: with Ben, like I'll be drafting a text message or
Speaker 2: an email with him or to him, and I'll delete
Speaker 2: it like fifty times because I don't want to be
Speaker 2: taken the wrong way. And I'm like, Okay, I'll just
Speaker 2: make this a phone call because I feel like if
Speaker 2: you were to read this on text or email, it's
Speaker 2: going to come across the wrong way. But then we
Speaker 2: like having things in email or text message because then
Speaker 2: we can go back to it in case there's any
Speaker 2: misunderstanding or miscommunication. It's good to have it in writing.
Speaker 2: So there's that whole thing. Like that's an example, but
Speaker 2: it could be a work related thing that you need
Speaker 2: to tackle or something personal.
Speaker 1: But we got to be the buffalo.
Speaker 2: The band aid theory also is another good analogy. I
Speaker 2: feel like, right now I need to go to my
Speaker 2: bathroom and get a band aid out and put it
Speaker 2: on my skin and practice just ripping it off.
Speaker 1: Because that's what I need to do.
Speaker 2: I have something that I'm putting off, and I just
Speaker 2: need to look at it and rip it off because
Speaker 2: I know I'm gonna feel the sting, but then I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be able to move on. Because we all know
Speaker 2: if we've had a band aid on and we start
Speaker 2: to peel it off slowly and makes the pain last longer.
Speaker 2: So why not just rip the band aid off? If
Speaker 2: we need to just do the dang thing. We don't
Speaker 2: need to prolong the discomfort. Let's just handle it. Here
Speaker 2: are some ways that we can just do the dang thing.
Speaker 2: Maybe we give ourselves a five minute rule, like we
Speaker 2: tell ourselves I only have to think about this for
Speaker 2: five minutes and then I'm doing it. Maybe I stop
Speaker 2: rehearsing worst case scenario. That's another tip, Like our brains
Speaker 2: will make up so many stories that probably will not happen,
Speaker 2: and we just need to stop ourselves from doing that.
Speaker 1: Easier said than done, I know. And then another thing.
Speaker 2: We can do is treat it like a muscle. And
Speaker 2: the more we start to tackle things head on, the
Speaker 2: more we are the buffalo. The more we rip the
Speaker 2: band aid, the easier it gets to continue to be that.
Speaker 2: And I will say that I've had that experience before,
Speaker 2: like when I've been the buffalo and I've done things
Speaker 2: head on. Yes, I get into that groove and it
Speaker 2: feels good. But sometimes I feel like I'm two steps forward,
Speaker 2: two steps back, and then I have to pep talk
Speaker 2: myself again. So that's what this is for you. If
Speaker 2: you've been putting something off that needs to be done,
Speaker 2: do the dang thing.
Speaker 1: The relief that we will feel after we do it
Speaker 1: is going to be totally worth it. Here we got
Speaker 1: the third day.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I need encouragement in the waiting. We all go
Speaker 2: through seasons of waiting and it can be really difficult.
Speaker 2: This came about because I got an email from a
Speaker 2: listener asking me about this, and then I have my
Speaker 2: own thing that I'm also waiting on. Sometimes I share
Speaker 2: the emails, but when something is super personal, I will
Speaker 2: reply back to the person just make sure, Hey, is
Speaker 2: it okay if I read this say your name or
Speaker 2: I can leave you anonymous and still read it. And
Speaker 2: she just shared some very personal things where she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'd rather you not say anything about the email, But
Speaker 2: that's what brought up my desire to make this a
Speaker 2: thing and talk about it and also helped me find
Speaker 2: comfort in my own season of waiting that I'm in
Speaker 2: right now and my patience and how my patience is
Speaker 2: being tested, and my patience has been tested multiple times
Speaker 2: in life, just like I'm sure the same is for you.
Speaker 2: But the waiting doesn't get any easier. Sometimes waiting is
Speaker 2: just hard period, whether it's waiting for an answer to something,
Speaker 2: we're waiting for a breakthrough, or we just went clarity
Speaker 2: on something. It's tough to feel like nothing is happening.
Speaker 2: But even when nothing's happening, something is happening, like it's
Speaker 2: not wasted time. And so as I was thinking through
Speaker 2: what I was going to reply to the listener that
Speaker 2: was asking me about this, and even you know, through
Speaker 2: my own journaling, I'm just going to share with you
Speaker 2: some things that God is doing while we are in
Speaker 2: a season of waiting. And I know this first thing
Speaker 2: I'm going to share has been very very helpful for
Speaker 2: me to just keep in my back pocket and say
Speaker 2: anytime that I need it, like sometimes delays are for
Speaker 2: our own good and we're being protected from something that
Speaker 2: we cannot see even when we don't understand it. So
Speaker 2: that's one thing God could be doing.
Speaker 1: He could also be.
Speaker 2: Preparing something bigger for us than we could ever even
Speaker 2: ask for. He could be strengthening our patients, which is
Speaker 2: literally what is happening to me at this moment. I
Speaker 2: am worried about something that I don't need to be
Speaker 2: worried about.
Speaker 1: I can wait to worry.
Speaker 2: I'm creating scenarios that don't need to be created during
Speaker 2: my season of waiting when I just need to be
Speaker 2: still and for me, because faith is an important part
Speaker 2: of my life, I need to make sure that my
Speaker 2: faith is in check, it's in the right spot. Like
Speaker 2: I'm not just making sure that a result happens. I
Speaker 2: have to surrender and maybe I won't ever get clarity
Speaker 2: on certain things, and I need to have peace either way,
Speaker 2: and I need to trust that there's a process, something
Speaker 2: bigger is happening. And sometimes waiting has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with me, not one single bit. God might be aligning
Speaker 2: things in other people's lives before it's time for something
Speaker 2: to happen in my own, so there's nothing to do
Speaker 2: with me, has nothing to do with you, and I
Speaker 2: I just wanted to remind you and myself that in
Speaker 2: the waiting, God is still working, the season is not wasted,
Speaker 2: And for me personally, I'm really trying to focus on
Speaker 2: trusting that what's ahead is even better than what I
Speaker 2: could dream up at this very moment. So if you're
Speaker 2: in a season of waiting like me, and like the
Speaker 2: listener that emailed, you're not alone. I'm just sharing with
Speaker 2: you all some of the thoughts that I replied to
Speaker 2: them and that I journaled through myself. Trust the process,
Speaker 2: trust his timing, and know that even in the silence,
Speaker 2: things are happening.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: Have you heard of the ADHD paradox? I saw this
Speaker 2: post on Instagram from an account. It's Molly's Underscore ADHD
Speaker 2: Underscore Mayhem, and it really resonated me. She was talking
Speaker 2: about how ADHD creates contradictions in our behavior and if
Speaker 2: you have ADHD you'll probably find this very relatable.
Speaker 1: Here's what you put up the ADHD paradox.
Speaker 2: Feeling very confident versus feeling very self conscious. I want
Speaker 2: to do everything versus I don't want to do anything.
Speaker 2: I can't focus versus I can't stop focusing. I want
Speaker 2: a routine versus it's impossible for me to stick to one.
Speaker 2: I have so much energy versus I am completely burnt out. Now,
Speaker 2: if you don't have ADHD, then you don't really know
Speaker 2: what it's like to have your brain constantly pulling you
Speaker 2: into opposite directions. And this gives an example of what
Speaker 2: it can be like. And it's not that we don't care,
Speaker 2: We're not trying. It's just that our brains operate on
Speaker 2: a different rhythm. Like imagine driving a car with only
Speaker 2: two speeds parks your full throttle like sometimes there is
Speaker 2: just no in between, and that's often how ADHD can feel.
Speaker 1: It's all or nothing thing.
Speaker 2: And for me, what's helpful is I have to identify
Speaker 2: which mode I'm in. Am I in my burnout mode
Speaker 2: or I'm in my hyper focus I'm about to get
Speaker 2: stuff done mode, And then I have to adjust my
Speaker 2: expectations accordingly, because if I know that it's a low
Speaker 2: energy day, I cannot force high energy tasks. And I
Speaker 2: try to pay attention to my body because that's how
Speaker 2: I'm going to survive, especially as I'm unmedicated. I also
Speaker 2: use opposite strategies like if I can't focus, I'll go
Speaker 2: move my body like I'll jump on my rebounder. If
Speaker 2: I'm overstimulated, I will do a five minute meditation, because
Speaker 2: sometimes you don't really have a choice in what you
Speaker 2: need to get done. I do try to listen to
Speaker 2: my body when I can, but there are times when
Speaker 2: it's like, well, okay, I get that I can't focus
Speaker 2: right now, but also I have a deadline for something,
Speaker 2: so I have to use opposite strategies to come in
Speaker 2: and help me out. So if you have ADHD, you're
Speaker 2: not alone in this paradox. Instead of fighting it, we
Speaker 2: have to really just learn how to recognize our patterns.
Speaker 2: That's been very, very helpful for me in my unmedicated
Speaker 2: season of life, which now it's officially been. I feel
Speaker 2: like I started over Christmas break. I was thinking it
Speaker 2: was that the new year, but it was a little
Speaker 2: bit before the first of the year, so I'm probably
Speaker 2: coming up on two months no meds and really implementing
Speaker 2: some of these strategies, which if you want more exercises
Speaker 2: and things you can do for yourself, if you go
Speaker 2: to YouTube and put in brain gem exercises for ADHD,
Speaker 2: a lot of things will come up that are helpful
Speaker 2: for adults to do and kids.
Speaker 1: So if you have a child that has.
Speaker 2: ADHD, you can look up some of these exercises and
Speaker 2: start doing them with them at home. They're just like
Speaker 2: easy things, like if they're home from school, maybe they're
Speaker 2: having a burnout day they can't focus, try some of
Speaker 2: these exercises.
Speaker 1: Or if you'll both have.
Speaker 2: ADHD, then you get to do the exercises together as
Speaker 2: a family. So I hope that that's helpful, because the
Speaker 2: extremes can feel pretty crazy, can feel very very high
Speaker 2: and then very very low at times, which can be
Speaker 2: confusing and confusing for those around you if they don't
Speaker 2: really understand the ADHD paradox. So I hope that this
Speaker 2: is helpful for someone. I'm not an expert, but I'm
Speaker 2: thankful for all the accounts that I follow and the
Speaker 2: people in my life and my therapist and people that
Speaker 2: have helped me as I navigate some of this. All right,
Speaker 2: hope y'all are having the day that you need to have,
Speaker 2: and I will see you on Saturday for Outweigh and
Speaker 2: then on Tuesday for the fifth thing with Kat.
Speaker 1: Bye.