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Speaker 1: You there. Have you heard the news? Why it's everywhere,

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Speaker 1: on every dough and all on every gas station pump.

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Speaker 1: It might even be in your grossest freezer. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about the pandemonium going on with the pandemic. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Why there's so much crazy COVID news out there on

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Speaker 1: the streets and the highways and the byways. That's a

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Speaker 1: freeway that prefers both sexes, by the way, guys and alls.

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Speaker 1: And now it's time for the jewel shows COVID news

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Speaker 1: stories that you might have missed, and that I'll have

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Speaker 1: you saying what, Yeah, I gotta be COVID and me okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: get it? Like it? What you gotta be COVID and me? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we got it the first time. I'll say it over

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Speaker 1: and over and over again until I get the appropriate

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Speaker 1: reaction for that. Amazing. All right, all right, you're ready, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm ready. These are crazy COVID news stories that you

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Speaker 1: might have missed, and it's called what what's that? You

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Speaker 1: gotta be COVID and me sating me? That's so good?

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Speaker 1: Should we even do the segments? I just take a

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Speaker 1: bow and leave. Yeah, that's all right. Here are some

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Speaker 1: stories that you might have is though it's a COVID

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Speaker 1: news round up number one. Could the next random product

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Speaker 1: to sell out be hair lice medicine because why? Oh?

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Speaker 1: News study found that a basic headlines drug called ivermectin,

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Speaker 1: probably not actually called that because I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to read sciency words like that, but it led to

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Speaker 1: an eighty percent lower fatality rate and hospitalized coronavirus patients. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that is so random. If you were worried about getting COVID,

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Speaker 1: you might as well just get lice. Now, go find

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Speaker 1: I don't know somewhere to get lice so that you

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Speaker 1: get the everd mecton. How did they discover that ivermectin

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Speaker 1: worked against COVID? I don't know, And so many questions

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Speaker 1: there a lot of questions. So people aren't going to

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Speaker 1: the hospital. Maybe with COVID they also have lice, so

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Speaker 1: the hospitals like, we got to treat their lives. How

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Speaker 1: do they know they have lice? I don't, Or does

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Speaker 1: COVID cause lice? COVID so there might come first. There

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Speaker 1: might be a shortage in that. But you could also

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Speaker 1: use mayonnaise just smother a lice and then put it.

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Speaker 1: Took about for life, not COVID. What we found out though,

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Speaker 1: that mayonnaise is the actual cure for COVID. So people, yeah, people,

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Speaker 1: we had life and then they gave it to him

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Speaker 1: and they noticed that I guess they were an eighty

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Speaker 1: percent lower fatality rate. See, didn't I tell you, guys

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Speaker 1: what you gotta be COVID in me. The enthusiasm of

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Speaker 1: the job. Also, this one is, this one is amazing.

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Speaker 1: This is a story that I'm excited about. Okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: As you might have heard, the Coronavirus Relief Bill that

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Speaker 1: Congress passed, it's like normal bills. It was filled with

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Speaker 1: a bunch of pork what they put little things in

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Speaker 1: there and try to slide it by so it gets approved. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So there's a bunch of little things like that that

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Speaker 1: are totally unrelated to the pandemic and what the bill

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Speaker 1: hoping that it gets slid through and then like, hey,

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Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? We said it was no

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Speaker 1: pans Thursday it Well, this one is amazing though. One

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Speaker 1: thing that was in the Coronavirus Relief Bill is the

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Speaker 1: Pentagon has to release its intelligence about UNFOS within six months. Yeah. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Yeah, if it gets fully passed and

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Speaker 1: approved and everything else, it's in there that they have

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Speaker 1: to release the UFO stuff. Somebody put that in the document,

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Speaker 1: so I mean too, that's gonna Why do some citizens

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Speaker 1: of the United States get to know that information and

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Speaker 1: then most of us don't. It's ridiculous how I mean

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Speaker 1: everybody should know. Yeah, it's totally unfair. I think that

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Speaker 1: the one reason they do it is just so that

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Speaker 1: there isn't like, you know, mass hysteria. But for the

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Speaker 1: personal I think everyone would be okay with knowing there

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Speaker 1: are aliens. Yeah, I don't think that should even matter though,

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Speaker 1: Like it's our you know, we should be able to

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Speaker 1: know as well. I think now in twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: people are ready to know that there's life out there

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Speaker 1: in space. Yeah, it's being talked about all the time,

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Speaker 1: not just us, but I mean somebody actually slid that

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Speaker 1: into the COVID relief bill hoping that it gets through

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Speaker 1: so that they have to release our stuff. Probably not

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Speaker 1: now it's going to get acted because they don't want

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Speaker 1: to actually at least that information to the public. Another

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Speaker 1: COVID story that I'll have you saying, why you gotta

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Speaker 1: be COVID me. The pandemic has also led to major

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Speaker 1: drops in the number of people using cocaine. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: Molly and lsd oh well, speak for yourself. I'm still

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Speaker 1: doing it, probably because clubs are shut down. A big

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Speaker 1: increase in smoking weed though, because more more time on

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Speaker 1: the couch, last time on the dance floor. Also, a

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Speaker 1: coronavirus outbreak in a hospital in San Jose, California has

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Speaker 1: been linked to an employee wearing an inflatable Christmas tree

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Speaker 1: costume on Christmas. And what if a fan in the

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Speaker 1: costume spread droplets of whatever picture or didn't have it

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Speaker 1: on the hospital? So that little Christmas tree of forty

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Speaker 1: four people contracted for sure, I have no idea how

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Speaker 1: they know that. Well, there you go. That was another

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Speaker 1: edition of also the first ever edition, the first ever

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Speaker 1: edition that we've done of COVID news stories that'll have

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Speaker 1: you saying, what God in me? Oh guys, that was Terry,

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Speaker 1: I hate me right now. That was so good though.

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Speaker 1: That was so good je Bowl. That was like one

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Speaker 1: of the most loves good. No, the name, the name,

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Speaker 1: the name of the thing. Yeah, I found something out

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Speaker 1: of this world like nobody could even nobody could ever

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Speaker 1: think of it, believe that I came up with so much?

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Speaker 1: Right now, all right, your phone, Frank's coming up, and

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Speaker 1: thank you very much. She's coming up at nine twenty.

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Speaker 1: It's a jewel show on. It's one of six point one.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm crazy. I've been crazy. It's that part

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Speaker 1: quite plainly. Just give me the movies. So much you're

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Speaker 1: doing tonight? What is they doing? You like watching the movies.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to give you up. You can you

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Speaker 1: keep up? Because then I let the give you Maybe

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give up. I haven't drink a coffee. Coffee,

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Speaker 1: haven't healthy, I haven't happy. He's quick on my energy.

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Speaker 1: Can you stay help on? Let me to the tailor

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Speaker 1: thirty for thirty? Can you stay conney, Let me to

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Speaker 1: the tailor thirty for thirty. Don't drink it just like

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Speaker 1: but don't say it tis my canny. So what you're

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Speaker 1: doing tonight, not as they doing. You ain't gon to movies, Bob.

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Speaker 1: We ain't seen a thing tonight. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: keep you up your can you keep it up? I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna let them keep you up. Maybe in the kid,

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Speaker 1: but I haven't drinking coffee. Lemony donned Sky given a jail,

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Speaker 1: can you stay he conning any Let me to the

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Speaker 1: tailor thirty for thirty. F can you stay he gonna?

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Speaker 1: I mean to the dailor thirty for thirty, having your

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Speaker 1: money to see buck. When I'm writing, I'm gonna even

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Speaker 1: open like a book. I'm inside it even though I'm

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Speaker 1: with if you could hit it like a sidecheck, you

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Speaker 1: don't even side got the neighbors and the earthquake. Well,

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Speaker 1: my father gonna meet the best, but it don't even

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Speaker 1: though it's light. Wait, wait, you started at midnight. Go

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Speaker 1: to the sia not the size, but I was calling

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Speaker 1: the famo me got it your favorite bars. We could

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Speaker 1: take it from the top, just such a drink control

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Speaker 1: to make up on the his nong. Can you stay

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Speaker 1: up conning? Let me to the dailor thirty for thirty.

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Speaker 1: Can you stay up conning? Day to the tailor you

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Speaker 1: know thirty other