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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaser Podcast Naser, He's Nikki. Hello here I am.

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Speaker 1: It's a Nicki Laser podcast. It is Tuesday. I hope

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Speaker 1: you all had a great Labor Day weekend is before

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Speaker 1: the weekend right now that I'm recording this. Um, so

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Speaker 1: it has yours hasn't happened yet. But I'm astral projecting

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Speaker 1: and you to have the best one, which sounds like

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Speaker 1: I'm asking. I want you guys have diarrhea once you're

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Speaker 1: asked to project, probably some of you will. For Labor Day.

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Speaker 1: Labor Day was sneaks up on you. I mean it

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Speaker 1: does mean Memorial Day equals beginning of summer. Labor Day

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Speaker 1: equals no fun, school starting again, like a different kind

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Speaker 1: of hot outside. Pools are closing last weekend of pools.

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Speaker 1: I know that's not the case anymore because it's so

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Speaker 1: hot all the time and people can leave their pools later.

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Speaker 1: But um, what do you guys have planned for Labor

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Speaker 1: Day weekend? Um? Do you have anything went on? I'm

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Speaker 1: going to a wedding in Chicago from my first cousin

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Speaker 1: for your first cousin ever. No, it could be, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I mean, are they going to make it? Let me

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Speaker 1: do they pass my test? Are they? No? Actually, I

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Speaker 1: don't know how old she is. I think she's probably

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Speaker 1: close to Okay, So have they been together longer than

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Speaker 1: four years? Uh? Do you know the name of the guys?

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Speaker 1: Really don't even know that. Jason, I don't know. Are

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Speaker 1: you going to this? Huh? I mean, I'm sorry about weddings.

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Speaker 1: Is what do you know about her? She's brown hair.

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Speaker 1: She should be going to a lot more weddings. If

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Speaker 1: this is the requirement to go to someone's wedding, you

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Speaker 1: know their hair color. She loves farming. Look, my family,

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Speaker 1: we grew up in Florida. Like if we grew up

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Speaker 1: in Chicago, I would know everything about her, but we

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Speaker 1: were separated. Well, that's why you don't go to this wedding.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to whoever this is, but but it's no, you don't.

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Speaker 1: It's expense. I mean, I understand people like to go

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Speaker 1: to weddings, let's leave that out of it. Most people,

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Speaker 1: weddings are an inconvenience. You could have the weekend in St. Louis.

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Speaker 1: Now you gotta go up to Chicago for this wedding.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be a negative nully, but this

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Speaker 1: school does not know you, she would not. We are.

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Speaker 1: You'll stay high across the room for two minutes, and

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Speaker 1: that will be the extent of it for you being there.

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Speaker 1: We're going to grind cousin dance. It's cool because we

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Speaker 1: don't know much about each other. Yeah, yeah, you'll get

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Speaker 1: to know each other. No, my cousins in Chicago are awesome.

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Speaker 1: Like we play sports together. We we all enjoy their

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Speaker 1: skirl like to play with you again. You know, you

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Speaker 1: know people in our building from the elevator more than

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Speaker 1: you know this cousin. Let's be honest with ourselves. It's

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Speaker 1: not true. Do you have a role on the wedding?

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Speaker 1: Farms and Marissa, do you know that? Does that mean

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Speaker 1: she lives on a farm, Because just because someone lives

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Speaker 1: on one doesn't mean they like it. No, she works,

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Speaker 1: She loves it. That's what she does. She works at

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Speaker 1: this restaurant. I forgot it's what it's called. It's like

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Speaker 1: blew something. It's like that very famous restaurant that has

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Speaker 1: like farmed a table. It's like outside of New York.

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Speaker 1: I forget the name of it. But that's where she works.

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Speaker 1: And she like lives out like forty minutes outside the city.

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Speaker 1: Pretty much on a farm and that's where. But I

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Speaker 1: just think weddings are obnoxious when you have to have

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Speaker 1: the whole family there and then the bride's night is

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Speaker 1: completely ruined by talking to ants who are going to

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Speaker 1: die or cousins who are going to die within months,

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Speaker 1: and they have to get on planes. Like you see

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Speaker 1: all these fragile old people flying across the country having

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Speaker 1: to sit on the plane for forty minutes after it

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Speaker 1: lands waiting for someone to come with a wheelchair. They're

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Speaker 1: so in pain they're sitting in middle seats. Also, they

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Speaker 1: can go to some girls wedding and who's in their

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Speaker 1: twenties and they just sit in the corner all night

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Speaker 1: and people come up and scream at them as like

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Speaker 1: you know, Neo was playing loudly in the background, Like

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Speaker 1: it's it's just also jarring for these old people. And

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Speaker 1: I'm including you in that. I think it's I think

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Speaker 1: weddings are obnoxious, but this girl's I'm sure this wedding

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Speaker 1: is gonna be awesome, and that it's required that you know. First,

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Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, and I know it's funny,

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Speaker 1: but I think, like these old people, it's it's like

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Speaker 1: they're super Bowl. To some of them, they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I can finally get dolled up and I can travel

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Speaker 1: and I could see my family. I understand that if

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Speaker 1: they're mobile. If they're mobile, old people when they are

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Speaker 1: in wheelchairs and being forced to go, they do not

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Speaker 1: want to go to it in Vermont where they have

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Speaker 1: to sit in a car and their bones are I

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Speaker 1: mean this, like almost certain of is that old people

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Speaker 1: do not want to go to your wedding twenty something.

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Speaker 1: Your old girl who is has the option divorce now

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Speaker 1: when your grandma didn't. So your grandma's looking at you

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Speaker 1: like like wow, this is gonna last forever when you

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Speaker 1: now have so many more options than that old bitch

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Speaker 1: did and she resents you for it. Probably you get

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Speaker 1: to vote and like wear your hair down like up

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Speaker 1: and pushed you around. They didn't. I love my grandparents.

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Speaker 1: I just feel bad for old people having I just

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Speaker 1: think weddings are dumb. You know, I think this. I

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Speaker 1: think there are a waste of money. I think they

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Speaker 1: are um just you know. I get it though, because

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Speaker 1: it's it's a celebration and I'll probably have one some

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Speaker 1: day too, and um eat crow. But I just want

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Speaker 1: to say, like, it's it's I think it's I think

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Speaker 1: it's dumb that people like second cousins, cousins who you've

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Speaker 1: only seen once, Like when was the last time you

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Speaker 1: saw this girl? I mean really had a conversation with

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Speaker 1: her and spent some time with her last time I

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Speaker 1: was in Chicago. She's also much she's also younger, so

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Speaker 1: like the other cousins that are older than her, I

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Speaker 1: get along with all of these things. Oh so it's

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Speaker 1: from more of her like siblings. It's an age thing too.

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Speaker 1: It's not just like you know when you have a

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Speaker 1: cousin that's I'm just saying it's the most important people

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Speaker 1: in her life are on a list. You're not on

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Speaker 1: it because and I'm not up saying that to be offensive.

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Speaker 1: It's just this whole thing of like, but family comes first.

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Speaker 1: It's like you took the spot of someone probably at

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Speaker 1: the wedding where she No. No, I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of things right now, like they have you have to

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Speaker 1: invite our cousins and you're like, mom, I don't even

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Speaker 1: know those people, and I know you know her, but

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying this, Okay, so maybe this is a

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Speaker 1: different situation for you. But I still suspect this girl

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Speaker 1: having a conversation with you will be a task of

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Speaker 1: the night that is like is not. I mean, you're

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Speaker 1: fun to talk to you, so it won't be that bad.

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Speaker 1: But there will be people like you that our first

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Speaker 1: cousins not that interesting who she doesn't want to talk to.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you've got stuff going on. Brenna's fun to

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Speaker 1: talk to too, But there will be people at this

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Speaker 1: wedding based on you being there, that this girl does

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Speaker 1: not want to have conversations with. And it is her

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Speaker 1: wedding night and she wants to dance and eat and

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Speaker 1: have fun, and she's gonna have to talk to some

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Speaker 1: you know, her uncle, like her her dad's friend from childhood. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it sucks. I get that look you're talking. I'm not like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well I do have the wood tooth um, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not like one that's like raw raw weddings. Like my

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Speaker 1: buddy had a second wedding. I had to buy a

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Speaker 1: suit for it and pay eight hundred dollars Like it's insanee. No, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well it's hard. You know why. I've said no before.

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Speaker 1: And when I was in high school, I was playing

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Speaker 1: my last football game in high school football, which I've

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Speaker 1: given so many hours, so much time to. And then

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Speaker 1: my other first cousin was getting married and everyone's like,

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Speaker 1: you gotta go, I go. I'm not. I've given everything

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Speaker 1: to this. I've met her twice. So in your defense,

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Speaker 1: I chose football and wanted to spit in my face,

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Speaker 1: like my mom, huh, yes they are, and I don't

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Speaker 1: play football anymore. It's the only time that Why didn't

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Speaker 1: you see that their love would be lasting? Were they? No? No, no,

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Speaker 1: they were lasting. They are lasting. You know why didn't

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Speaker 1: you see it? I saw it. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're both kind of interesting. She's a veterinarian actually,

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Speaker 1: the one now or the one back then, the one

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Speaker 1: back then. You know, the veterinarians kill themselves more than

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Speaker 1: any profession I think I probably told you that a

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Speaker 1: million times. Yeah, I'll let her know. That's like my

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Speaker 1: reminder when I see her, you should say that. I

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Speaker 1: say some vets all the time because it's kind of

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Speaker 1: giving them like like, hey, you were in combat, like

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Speaker 1: you you commit suicide up there with the other vets.

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Speaker 1: You know what I saw, You know what I saw

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Speaker 1: that what was interesting to student dead stuff? However, it's like,

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Speaker 1: I can't a lot of veterinarians. The other reason why

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Speaker 1: they kill him not just because the dogs putting them down. Huh.

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Speaker 1: Can we just say the veterinarians? I think I think

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Speaker 1: that's a way that to say it. What do you say, veterinarians? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what do I say vetinarians? Veterinarians? You just cut out

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Speaker 1: the middle man that er first of all doctors. Six letters,

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Speaker 1: what's down? Thank you, thank you? Okay, So what about

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Speaker 1: the veterinarians. We're saying about the debt thing. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: the other thing. They don't make enough money to pay

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Speaker 1: off because they're debt is almost as much as fucking doctors,

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Speaker 1: and it's like they don't never pay it off. So

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Speaker 1: they're the best people. They get into it for the

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Speaker 1: love of animals, and then they have to put them

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Speaker 1: down all day and witness horrific they is happening to animals,

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Speaker 1: And they have to watch people, yeah, and and they

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Speaker 1: watch people, yeah, losing their animals that they either love

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Speaker 1: or bring in animals that they do not love, and

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Speaker 1: they can't do anything about it to take it away

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Speaker 1: because it's too much legality to like, actually, the Dog

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Speaker 1: Protective Services or whatever. It is harder to conjure up

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Speaker 1: than CPS. Maybe I don't even know, but um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love veterinarians so much, and yeah they should be

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Speaker 1: able to board planes before all of us, just with

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Speaker 1: all vets. Can we go back to weddings? First? Second,

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Speaker 1: I have a question, please? Yeah, I mean no, one's

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Speaker 1: getting married at some point, yeah, but it will be

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Speaker 1: at least another years. None of my cousins are coming

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Speaker 1: to my wedding because because you're a you're an adult

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Speaker 1: who knows, who doesn't just follow tradition blindly. You make

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Speaker 1: it it's your night to actually socialize in the way

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Speaker 1: you want to not please your mother. A year, so

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Speaker 1: many many but although they'll all be people that I

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Speaker 1: want there and then and then, yeah, I love them,

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Speaker 1: I grew up with them, honestly, Probably not because I

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Speaker 1: don't need to waste my time no offense. Emily and Brian,

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Speaker 1: if you want to go, sure, I'm sure you'll want

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Speaker 1: to because it's gonna be faking dope, but I'm not.

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Speaker 1: You are not guaranteed to talk to me longer than

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Speaker 1: two minutes that night. I might wave at you across

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Speaker 1: the road. Do you think everyone wants to talk to

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Speaker 1: the bride so much. Anyways, I don't know the prettiest

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Speaker 1: and the whole thing. And we're wearing a big white

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Speaker 1: dress and we look so beautiful and happy and the spider. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we're all little pretty virgins who are gonna bleed

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Speaker 1: that night for the first time, and we're gonna lay

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Speaker 1: out the sheets. You can see that we're a pretty

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Speaker 1: little virgin and that we're here and that our daddy

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Speaker 1: sold us the right way. It's so gross. Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: When I was watching the Princess documentary about Princessiana part part,

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Speaker 1: they just skipped over. I'm sure you didn't even catch

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Speaker 1: it because it was so subtle. Um. I can't believe

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Speaker 1: even I caught it. They he said. When Charles was

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Speaker 1: problemsed Diana by Lord Spencer, he was assured of her virginity,

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Speaker 1: And it was like, what how did he assure it?

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Speaker 1: She maybe got checked by a doctor who probably enjoys

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Speaker 1: that inspection a lot. Fucking Yeah. All right, um, a question, yeah, um,

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Speaker 1: have you ever been a bridesmaid at anyone's wedding like

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Speaker 1: your sisters? Because I have great friends who would not

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Speaker 1: make me do that. I was in a wedding. I

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Speaker 1: was in a wedding couple of them. I got asked

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Speaker 1: to do the best. Oh really, why tradition enough tradition.

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Speaker 1: They wouldn't, they wouldn't put you up at that board

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Speaker 1: with this. I don't think I'm a badass for denying

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Speaker 1: about No, I don't because that there's something going on

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Speaker 1: there that is not before up. This was before stand up.

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Speaker 1: Oh so it was like talking in front of people

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Speaker 1: that marriage did not work? Was it rustys? I'll blink twice, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that did not. What if you were yelling enough and

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Speaker 1: not been doing stand up yet that marriage did not?

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Speaker 1: For whatever I ended up doing this. I did a

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Speaker 1: speech so anyways, and I told the old crowd that

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Speaker 1: she's pregnant and they haven't told that what I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that it did that take. I just

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Speaker 1: jumped off the dock that the wedding was on. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Wait what happened when you said it? She

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Speaker 1: just looked. I caught myself, so I was like, uh,

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Speaker 1: something in the some kind of it wasn't so direct

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Speaker 1: where I saw the look in her eye of pure

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Speaker 1: anger and I was like, wow, this is people gasp

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Speaker 1: or anything. I don't think it was. People were very hammered.

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Speaker 1: It was on a dock. I don't know if anyone

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Speaker 1: hurt me. I make fun of her for not cooking,

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Speaker 1: and then I said, well, something's cooking, something like that,

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Speaker 1: something along toastlines. And then she gave me a look,

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Speaker 1: and I was like joking, Oh boy, this is a

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Speaker 1: common thing. Comedians are very bad at giving speeches, best

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Speaker 1: man speeches, sincere speeches, eulogies. Every comedian I know is

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Speaker 1: deeply uncomfortable with it. None of us like doing it

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Speaker 1: because it's sincere and in the expectations are so freaking

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Speaker 1: high that you you cannot. Everyone's like, oh the comedians

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Speaker 1: getting up. You never will be as good as they

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Speaker 1: want you to be. It's just it really is, and

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Speaker 1: you don't work on it hard enough because you don't

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Speaker 1: care because it's your fucking friend who you don't really

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Speaker 1: talk to that much, you know. But I have a speech.

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Speaker 1: I followed a I doing spoken word like about his

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Speaker 1: dead dad for like five minutes, and then people were like,

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Speaker 1: how are you gonna you're gonna be able to follow that?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't what, like what am I getting? Like?

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Speaker 1: You know what? I was their death poetry jam and

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Speaker 1: because it was like a brother of the or and

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Speaker 1: it was like so good, like literally like Eminem like good.

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Speaker 1: It was insanely good. And they're like, he's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a follow that. I'm just getting drunk, like I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't get away from me, cousin Steve,

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Speaker 1: And did you follow it? Yeah? I did great, So

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Speaker 1: you did great? But it didn't it didn't feel good

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Speaker 1: like I don't. I didn't feel good until I did

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Speaker 1: find I did good, but I didn't like the experience.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather not give a speech I don't like doing.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever given a speech? You get you had

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Speaker 1: to do something Katherine I've told I've told about this before,

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Speaker 1: but I gave a speech at Katherine's wedding still together, Um,

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Speaker 1: and I just like to say that, you know, because

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Speaker 1: I really don't believe most things work. Um, And I

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Speaker 1: said I made a joke that I was barren during it.

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Speaker 1: No one laughed. It was really awkward. And then Um,

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Speaker 1: I did one for my sister. And I think I

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Speaker 1: just covered this on a recent episode with Chris, But

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Speaker 1: I told um I was describing that my sister was

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Speaker 1: always even though she was younger. She was always the

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Speaker 1: more responsible one, the one I kind of looked up to.

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Speaker 1: She knew that Santa wasn't real. She was like the

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Speaker 1: one she was younger than me, and she was like, Nikki,

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Speaker 1: Santa is not real, and um, yeah, they were kids

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Speaker 1: that wasn't real from me. Yeah, and they're crying in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom afterwards like pussies. It was like you had

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Speaker 1: to learn sometime, but you have someone is going to

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Speaker 1: be the bearer of that news and it should have

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Speaker 1: already happened to you anyway. You're a don't be at

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Speaker 1: an adult function, Like are there signs on walls at

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Speaker 1: adult functions where it's like kids present, make sure you

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Speaker 1: keep the lie up, Like I can't retain that lie forever.

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Speaker 1: It was like, hey, you kind of ruined saying no.

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Speaker 1: It was very clear like all that there were a

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Speaker 1: bunch of kids that like ran off and were confused

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Speaker 1: and um, and then it was the big joke of

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Speaker 1: the night. But it was also like they were kind

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Speaker 1: of um, you know, like oh, she is just too much,

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Speaker 1: you know, like she had to push the matters. That's

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Speaker 1: what always happens is that I say something people expect

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Speaker 1: me to be inappropriate and like do something outrageous that

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Speaker 1: makes it about me and ruins the night. And I

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Speaker 1: never want to do that because I obviously think everyone

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Speaker 1: thinking that or I'm gonna be I'm gonna be dirty

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Speaker 1: in an inappropriate setting, and then they always find a

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Speaker 1: way to be dirty. Like the other day, I was

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Speaker 1: filming a show and it was for a network show,

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Speaker 1: very squeaky clean. The host couldn't even say the name

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Speaker 1: of my special. He wouldn't say the name of my special.

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Speaker 1: My name of my special is good clean filth, couldn't

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Speaker 1: say it. He was like, yeah, there's nothing dirty about it.

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Speaker 1: That's how like, you know, puritanical, this uh set is

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Speaker 1: and um, I won't say what the show is. But

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Speaker 1: I was like, can I get a D? I want

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Speaker 1: a D so bad? And I was like, well, that

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Speaker 1: didn't sound good. Do you remember I'm Dancing with the

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Speaker 1: Stars exactly the same thing. Oh yeah, there's a new wordle,

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Speaker 1: celebrity wordle coming in. Um no, dancing with the Stars,

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Speaker 1: same thing. I was so scared of saying anything sexual

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Speaker 1: because everyone kept saying, you better watch it, this is ABC,

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Speaker 1: we know what you're up to. And then Tom bergeron

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Speaker 1: asked me, Nikki, you know, what's it like? Do comedy

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Speaker 1: prepare you for dancing at all? And I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I've had a lot of bad sets in my life.

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Speaker 1: And everyone gasped and groaned and I was like what

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Speaker 1: and he stepped away from me, like there she goes,

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Speaker 1: and I go, what did I say? And I go, oh, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no bad sets with sets we call it was dumb

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Speaker 1: me making a like jargon word that I think everyone knows.

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Speaker 1: People don't know that the comedians call it sets. It's

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Speaker 1: not in their head, and so it sound like I

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Speaker 1: was saying I had a lot of bad sex. So

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Speaker 1: then I changed it and I go, well I've had

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Speaker 1: that to Tom and then everyone was like she did

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Speaker 1: say it, and then it was like scandalized. Everyone's so

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Speaker 1: fucking Christian. It's so gross. It's all fake um, just

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Speaker 1: this fake shock. It's I'm not someone who's like canceled culture,

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Speaker 1: but it's like this permeation of just puritanical, like really

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, like Bible something like you can't

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Speaker 1: say damn, you can't say anything that is so dumb.

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Speaker 1: It's so dumb and it's for nothing, and it's All

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Speaker 1: the people at the top that are decreeing this are

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Speaker 1: all pedophiles. Man, It's so ironic. They're committing sex crimes

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Speaker 1: at the top of all these institute. All these men

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Speaker 1: are power hungry to fuck children and just and or

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Speaker 1: if they're not doing that, they're greedy motherfucker's who are

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Speaker 1: just skimming poor people of their money and spending it.

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Speaker 1: And they're they're criminals. And yet when I say a

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Speaker 1: blasphemous term, it is like I shouldn't be sent to

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Speaker 1: hell when you have all of these lying charlatan's at

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Speaker 1: the top. I love religion because I think it gives

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Speaker 1: people purpose and community, but when it starts to impact,

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Speaker 1: like you can't say certain words. I'm not gonna say

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Speaker 1: fuck in front of a kid on purpose. I did

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Speaker 1: the other day accidentally, and I felt terrible about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm never trying to like, wait, wait, wait, what happened there?

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Speaker 1: Happened there? I don't want kids to do. You know

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Speaker 1: what happened with this in front of a kid at

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Speaker 1: the Jimmy Kimmel thing. I was with kids all day,

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Speaker 1: you know, and then it was in between bringing kids

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Speaker 1: over and um, I like dropped a water or something

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh fuck. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, and there was like

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Speaker 1: a mom and a kid like waiting on the side.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so sorry, and she was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we don't care. And I was like, oh, thank god,

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Speaker 1: a fucking cool kid. But it's just people are industry

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Speaker 1: for a long time. He's been through way works and

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Speaker 1: that it's just uh yeah, it's it's I I went through.

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Speaker 1: I'll talk about it after we get back from break,

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Speaker 1: but I'm a little bit fired up about all this,

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Speaker 1: like nicky glazers, dirty stuff, so we'll hear about that

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Speaker 1: and even whether or not you want to after we

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Speaker 1: get back. I did four press interviews yesterday, back to back,

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes each, which seems like not that much, but

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Speaker 1: you're talking to someone new. It's for like Katie LV,

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Speaker 1: like you know, Las Vegas local, UM Today's show type things,

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Speaker 1: And every single one of the interviewers negged me by

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Speaker 1: saying either because I would say, you know, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is my last show before vocal surgery UM, or I'd

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Speaker 1: say and so I was like, and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: so you're gonna stop talking? Are you able to do that?

386
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 1: Or they go there's one that where it was a

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Speaker 1: huge lag. I would say, it's nice to see you.

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00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,880
Speaker 1: Good to see you too, like it was that bad,

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Speaker 1: and so I said, hey, before we begin, the lag

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Speaker 1: is so bad conversationally, this isn't gonna work. And I

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Speaker 1: know that these people are working so like doing interviews

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Speaker 1: all day with people that aren't even interesting. I go,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna steam roll and pitch the show, and

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00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 1: you jump in if you absolutely need to, but do not.

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Speaker 1: I hope you just don't think that I'm not including you.

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Speaker 1: But it's just too much for us to talk back

397
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Speaker 1: and forth. It might be better for me to just

398
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Speaker 1: pitch the show and give you what you want. And

399
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, you're blaming that on the delay. I'm

400
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Speaker 1: used to you just rambling, and I'm like, are you

401
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 1: kidding me right now, because it's my job to ramble, like,

402
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Speaker 1: don't stop acting like this. And I've had it with

403
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Speaker 1: a certain male comedians too, where I start talking backstage

404
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: and they'll start laughing to another man, like because they're

405
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Speaker 1: so used to laughing when a woman might be a

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Speaker 1: little bit opinionated, like here she goes again, and I

407
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: just turned to them and I go, I did this

408
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: for a living, so I'm actually good at at it.

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Speaker 1: I know I can be a little pedantic sometimes or

410
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: a lot pedantic, but for this, it happened in four

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Speaker 1: interviews in a row, either saying one guy goes, um,

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Speaker 1: I just watched the Comedy Central YouTube video of uh

413
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 1: get to Know Nikki Lays or in eight Jokes, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, how was it meeting me? And

415
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 1: he was like, well, not not something I should have

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Speaker 1: watched at work. And I go, why were you blaring

417
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: it on your speakers? Like what was I It wasn't

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Speaker 1: pornographic in on visually like put in your headphones and

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Speaker 1: he was just like, well, it was just really dirty.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, but did anyone hear it at work?

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00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,919
Speaker 1: It's not not safe for work. Did you have the

422
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 1: captions on? Like stop shaming me about being dirty. The

423
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 1: thing is people cannot fucking handle that they are dirty,

424
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: and they want to talk about it's so bad and

425
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 1: they're so ashamed of it that when someone does it,

426
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 1: they have to make you feel bad about it because

427
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 1: they don't get to talk about it and they're sad

428
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: about it. But it happened to me. I had to

429
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 1: do like meditate in between because I was getting so

430
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: like self hating of like I'm disgusting, I ramble. No

431
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: one wants to hear me. I'm like, I'm doing your show,

432
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: giving you content. I'm way more famous than your show

433
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: deserves me to be on. Sorry, it's just a Katie LV.

434
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: You should be very happy I'm on. Not that I'll

435
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 1: do anything that's fun, but guess what, I'm not coming

436
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 1: back to these shows because I get insulted when I

437
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: go on them, or when I finally talk to stop talking,

438
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 1: they go did you care when you got on? Did

439
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: you did you call him out on the nagging or

440
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: did you do It's not worth it. It's it's like

441
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 1: the thing where a guy grabs your ass when you're

442
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: in line doing meet and greets. Calling it out, you

443
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: get an APO eology that doesn't really mean anything, or

444
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 1: if it does, it's just too much of their energy

445
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: that you have to go on. You know what? It

446
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: was actually me, I'm coming like, yeah, I'm sure, it's

447
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: a little bit me like I'm a little bit too sensitive.

448
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: The best case scenario is this doesn't bother me at

449
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: all because it doesn't fucking matter. I was on the

450
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 1: girl's chat in between the interviews, kind of spiraling like

451
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: I'm getting really insulted by these like people who kind

452
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 1: of wish they were me. I think is the problem here,

453
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: because I know when I get like this, it's because

454
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: I wish I was that person, or I'm jealous of

455
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: something they have. Um and I was like, yeah, they

456
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: have to do a show. They have to do a

457
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 1: show where they have to be like good one, and

458
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 1: I hope you're having a good time out there at Degreedes.

459
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: Oh the Raiders did good last night, hummery and she's like, yeah,

460
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,119
Speaker 1: my husband hasn't gone down to me in six months.

461
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 1: You know. It's like just like they're so wanting to

462
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 1: fucking just talk, like because I bet you they're at

463
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: the bar going I eat this girl's pussy last night,

464
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 1: or they're like, you know, they're just talking like this

465
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,199
Speaker 1: fucking guy he can't funk worth it, and then they

466
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,479
Speaker 1: go oh and then they got to be fake, and

467
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 1: that's the anger probably where it comes from. You know,

468
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 1: the girl that kept saying that I was rambling and

469
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 1: talked too much, you can tell she wants to be

470
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: a comedian and she is funny, and that that was

471
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 1: the problem was that she was trying to neg me.

472
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: She was trying to roast me a little bit, and

473
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: it wasn't the place for it. This happens a lot.

474
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask if, like, when you do interviews,

475
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 1: especially with someone that's new or that you don't know,

476
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: do they do you see them trying to be funny

477
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: as opposed to just like interviewing you. No, generally they

478
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 1: know their place, but sometimes they are funny, Like this

479
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: girl probably could be a comedian, you know what I'm saying,

480
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: She just hasn't done it enough to know when it's

481
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 1: appropriate to make the jokes that she is capable of making.

482
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 1: So she was sliding in jokes in what I thought

483
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: was a sincere interview, but she was trying to She

484
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: was maybe so scared of being roasted by me based

485
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: on what she's seen of me, that she got defensive

486
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: right away and starts insulting me. And so I need

487
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: to remember that going in that this person is just

488
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: trying to, you know, match whatever energy they think I'm

489
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: going to have. And there was nothing malicious in it.

490
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 1: Like the other night, my friend and I didn't an

491
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: event and afterwards it was ben Glee. But afterwards he

492
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: was like, I it was deeply insulted by this person

493
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: and how they handled things and and um insulted me

494
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 1: and then got my name, like said my name wrong,

495
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: all these things, and I was like, then they were

496
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 1: trying to be funny. This person is a funny person,

497
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 1: and they are a little bit awkward as well, because

498
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 1: aren't we all And they say mean things to connect

499
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 1: with comedians. It's like a thing people do. Yeah, you've

500
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: had it happened right, Like what did the person say?

501
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: So I have a quick joke about growing up where,

502
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: you know, with no Jewish people, Like it was just yeah,

503
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: me and then whatever, So the joke they coming. So

504
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: after the show, I'm talking to like ten people and

505
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: this guy comes up. He's a he's a relative of

506
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: a friend that I don't even know him. Well, yeah,

507
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 1: I'm going to this wedding. I'm actually best man. I

508
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: just spent thirty grand I'm in debt. I'm gonna be

509
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: a veterinarian. So I go to you took a out

510
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: and so then he goes to me, he goes, you

511
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: had that one jew one joke about no Jews our

512
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: our high school costs thirty thou dollars I was friends with.

513
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: There were a ton of Jews there, and I'm like, okay,

514
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: first of all, get it again, like you're calling me out.

515
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, when I was there, I'm twenty years older

516
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: than you, there were no Jews there. I'm not making

517
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: I'm not like like like making up a false premise

518
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,480
Speaker 1: of like, oh, they're gonna look into it. Some realize

519
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: I actually went to school with a thousand Jews, Like

520
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: what are you doing in front? Well, I found out

521
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: a little bit that he's a little maybe on the spectrum.

522
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: And then once I found that out, I was like, okay,

523
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: this is you know, yeah, you can kind of do

524
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: that with everyone that pisces you off in any way.

525
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: You can just go. Because it was so clear when

526
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: Ben came to me about it, I was like, oh,

527
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: I've also experienced this kind of thing with this person

528
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:30,479
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, whoa, yikes, And I realized, Oh,

529
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: this person is just this person is funny. They just

530
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: don't know how to we They just got a sword

531
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,239
Speaker 1: and they don't know how to use it yet, you know,

532
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: like they have a really good sword and they don't

533
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: and so it's like impressive that like they even are

534
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: capable of making these jokes. But you go, ah, wow,

535
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: that's it's you're not you know, It's like you have

536
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: a good cut of meat but you burn it or

537
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: whatever like it's um so, and I was like, also, like,

538
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: this person has nothing against you. And that's what you

539
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: got to remember is that most people's intent is not

540
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: to hurt you, which because most people are not sociopaths

541
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: or psycho people. Yeah, kid, most likely a person trying

542
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: to hurt is not trying to hurt you. And um

543
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: but so I had to talk through it with these, like,

544
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: you know, after four in a row, and I'd have

545
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 1: fifteen minute breaks of like just sitting here being like

546
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: I do talk too much and like why am I

547
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: even doing this show there? And like I'm I was

548
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: trying to give them interesting interviews. I was trying to

549
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: make it look different. I'm like kind of lounging in

550
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: a way. Sees this on TV when you when you

551
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: got on, you should have been like, uh no, what

552
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: about you? Like what's up with you? That's a really

553
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: good point. If I was capable of that, if you're

554
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 1: just like enough about me, My god, I have an

555
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: idea to do and you have a show tonight. You

556
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: should have been like, do you have a show for

557
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: people tonight? Oh? You don't. I do, But what would

558
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: you be like if you had that? Yeah, you don't.

559
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: Oh I talked too much. I do too much of

560
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: the thing that is literally the only thing I do

561
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: on stage that I'm required to do. Literally, there's nothing else.

562
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 1: Do you want to see me dance? Do you want

563
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: to see me? Saying do you want to see? Like?

564
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: I don't do that? That's all I have and it's

565
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: about to be all I don't have. Um I was

566
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: thinking about Ben Leave actually was the idea behind this.

567
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: He was like, you should do a SMR episodes of

568
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: your podcast when you're recovering, because I want people to

569
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: talk um hard. How you talk? You thank you think

570
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 1: you talk here? I think I could probably talk like

571
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: this and anyway I think it'll be good. Well, yesterday

572
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: I tried to do like what it just five minutes

573
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: of what it would sound like to do a podcast

574
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: in a SMR And it is so difficult to talk

575
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: this slow for me, And because then at the end

576
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: of it, I started talking like this and it was

577
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: just like no, wit, no, you can gotta go slow,

578
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: but I realized, you really get it's almost meditative because

579
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: I got into like my I could see that my

580
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 1: thoughts are twenty words ahead and I'm having to ditch

581
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: out on what I've planned for twenty words ahead because

582
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get there in time that I'm

583
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: going to remember that. So it keeps you present on

584
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: every word as opposed to yes. And I realized Sam

585
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 1: Harris is able to use bigger words, maybe because he's

586
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 1: talks slower, um, but it is. It was very, very hard,

587
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 1: but I I do know that. You know my um

588
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 1: doctor said when he was listening to me. My surgeon

589
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: was like, first of all, you know healthy healthy, like

590
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 1: the surgery or not. You need to slow down talking.

591
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: You talk too fast. Yeah, he was. And then we

592
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: got into promoting my dates that I was canceling because

593
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: he was going to scrape out my cords. Like he

594
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: wanted to be a comedian too. I mean he probably does.

595
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: Everyone does is kind of secretly, and he's a funny guy.

596
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: But no, he was like, he go, he wanted to

597
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: talk to me. I brought my mom to the pre

598
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: up interview thing because he just wants to hear your voice.

599
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: How you use it. I mean, this guy can hear everything.

600
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: And so we were just talking about my life and

601
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: he was like, right away, I gotta tell you slow down,

602
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 1: slow down, And I was like, I hear you. That

603
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: is going to be so hard for me. So I

604
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: think doing a SMR one, if I do a couple

605
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: to ease in, it might be the perfect thing to get.

606
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 1: You know, you know when you wear like a laded

607
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: vest to run and then when you take it off,

608
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: you're somewhere in between where you were, and like strength wise,

609
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: if I a s MR, it's going to be pulling

610
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 1: me so far the other way that maybe it might

611
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: slow me down in general, but I cannot go the

612
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: rest of my life talking at the speed I talk at.

613
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: It is not whether surgery or not. It is ruining

614
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: my life. And I didn't know. So it sucks that

615
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: I have to slow down now and talk like someone

616
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: who's in slow. To me, I'm talking like this, like

617
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: this slow, like this is a normal way that people talk.

618
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: I'm not. It sounds weird for me, but this is

619
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,879
Speaker 1: how you talk. This is how noaht talk. I'm so

620
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: used to hear you talk every day. It sounds like

621
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 1: your internet is slow and you're lagging. It sounds like

622
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 1: there's a problem. But this is the way that other

623
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: people talk. It's funny because like like I kind of

624
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: want you to speed it up. Yeah, I know people

625
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: might be wanting to put it on two times the speed,

626
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:51,720
Speaker 1: but this is the speed generally at which other people talk,

627
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: and I need to slow down to the speed, and

628
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 1: it is very hard to do. It's like going through

629
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: a constructions own on the highway for me, where you're

630
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: like it's Sunday and no one is working on the

631
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: construction zone, so you know it would be fine, but

632
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: you still have to do it because you're scared. I

633
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: really tried to talk to Speed the rest of the show.

634
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 1: Let's just see what happens, and I'll talk like you.

635
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 1: So being friends with you, it's like like, so you

636
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: talk like, no, I can't even do it now. I'm

637
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: just saying like just to fill in the words. Um,

638
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 1: well that's what I do too. But I sound drunk

639
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,879
Speaker 1: when I talked to when I talked to people that

640
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: live here in St. Louis and talk like you don't

641
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: have to slow down, no, But when I listened I

642
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: listened to you on on eight time speed because that's

643
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: how you speak. So when I talk to someone else

644
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: that I know their story. I know their whole story

645
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: by their third word. So I have to sit there

646
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: and a lot of times I'll fill it in because

647
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,479
Speaker 1: I can't kid me. I can't do it either. That's

648
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: I don't know why I'm getting an accent. Maybe that'll

649
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 1: help me slow it down. But when people talk, I

650
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: am like, get to what's happening here? I know what's

651
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: I complete people sentences all the time, and I will

652
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,879
Speaker 1: have to say I am rarely wrong, and I am

653
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: aware of how annoying that is. But I always check myself,

654
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 1: like is this going to be annoying? Because I was

655
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 1: wrong about what they were going to say? And I

656
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: rarely am. I kind of see it coming, but I

657
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: think even if you're right, it's still wrong. It's if

658
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: you're right, even if you're right, But I do I

659
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: don't know what the cadence will be because this sounds

660
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,360
Speaker 1: so forced. But I feel like if I practice meditation,

661
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:51,479
Speaker 1: if I practice a SMR, the lilt of my voice

662
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 1: will naturally slow down. Like grandparents that you see it

663
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 1: the wedding that you forced them to go to, they

664
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: talk slow, not because they always as have, but because

665
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,879
Speaker 1: it's harder to think of things and to get them

666
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: out so naturally. As you aid, you're going to slow

667
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: down your speech pattern. Um, I have to start that

668
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:21,240
Speaker 1: process intentionally now, and I have to become every comedian

669
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: I fucking hate who I do. Want to print up

670
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: people's specials and do a word count and compare them

671
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: to mine, so that when people go yours wasn't as

672
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: good as this person's, I can go, well, actually I

673
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: fit three specials into one, so slow it down. And

674
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: then maybe our three specials as good as that one

675
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: person's because I said three times as many words and

676
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: had three times as many jokes. Um, where they as good?

677
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: Maybe not, but that's that's arguable. Do you want something slower? Yes,

678
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 1: sometimes you want something slower, and that in and of

679
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: itself makes it enjoyable. But I like quantity over quality.

680
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna say that you're gonna talk slower, but say

681
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: the same amount, so your next special will be seven

682
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: hours six hours, like these podcasts are gonna be. We're

683
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 1: gonna get through like one half of a topic, but

684
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: you're gonna say, I think we didn't get through the

685
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: news before. We're not going to get to Uh yeah,

686
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,959
Speaker 1: it's nothing's going to happen on this show. Um, yeah,

687
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 1: it's I don't I don't know how I'm going to

688
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: function in this world. My brain just needs to slow

689
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,919
Speaker 1: down a little bit. But um, with that being said,

690
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: we could get to the news if we want. Do

691
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:42,320
Speaker 1: we want to try it? Let's go to the news.

692
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's Tuesday, folks. You know what that means.

693
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: It is Tuesday. I hope you're having all the swells

694
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 1: out there. I'm about to can. I'm going to a

695
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,399
Speaker 1: great wedding where my first cousin, she has brown hair,

696
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: and she's really cool and sorry in Chicago a couple

697
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 1: of months ago, I think, which is enough if she

698
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: had to invite everyone she saw a couple of months ago.

699
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: Casey Cason, all right, well while you're in while you're

700
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: in Chicago, would you like to know some fun facts

701
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: about orgasms? Yeah? I love it. So I have a

702
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 1: list of fun facts that you may or may not

703
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: have a couple yesterday. Yeah. So, um a study, Yeah,

704
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 1: I found that our ability to orgasm comes from our parents.

705
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 1: Our DNA could be responsible for anything. Daddy, I'm sorry,

706
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: could be responsible for anything. From a third to sixty

707
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: of our ability to climax. It really creeps me out.

708
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: But what does that mean? What is that you are

709
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 1: in your what you're going to be is in your grandmother.

710
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: You were in your grandmother already. Your mom's eggs were

711
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: in her egg when she was in your grandmother as

712
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: an egg. You you weren't in your great grandmother's, but

713
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: you were in your It's just creepy that I was

714
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: like in my grandma's little body in the twenties. No

715
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: great grandmother, my mom was in. I was not in

716
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 1: that one. It's only to two back. Can I just say, um,

717
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: this gets to some topic of porn, which I want

718
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 1: to talk about. I have just embraced daddy porn. I

719
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: did not look at it for a while because I

720
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 1: thought it meant that I want to fuck my dad,

721
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,800
Speaker 1: or that I that that my dad was going to

722
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: pop up in in the middle of it for me

723
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: in some way, or that it meant something about myself. Yeah, Papa, Papa.

724
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 1: The papa bads I get are so gross with old women,

725
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: old horny women is always know the porn. I like.

726
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 1: The reason I like daddy porn is I like I

727
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,000
Speaker 1: think it's someone and their dad. It's not about me

728
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,720
Speaker 1: at all. I'm not projecting myself into it. I'm horny

729
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: from and I don't really like it to be her dad.

730
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: I just like it to be like someone she trusts

731
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:37,240
Speaker 1: that like loves her but is in a position of power.

732
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:43,359
Speaker 1: Is a bit older, is instructional, is like someone I

733
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: like the dynamic which I've requested many times of like

734
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 1: a respectful gang bang. And I feel like the word

735
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: daddy implies I care about this person, and so it

736
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,359
Speaker 1: actually is maybe what I've been needing to google this

737
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: whole time, because so much of the porn I get

738
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,280
Speaker 1: and enjoy the acts are so mean to the girl,

739
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 1: and I've always been looking for this sensitivity and this

740
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: almost like pride, and like a father has so much

741
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 1: pride for his daughter and everything she does. So it

742
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 1: actually is one of my words now, and I have

743
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: no shame about it. And it's interesting because I have.

744
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 1: I have a lot of shame about stuff on porn

745
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: that I'll be like, oh no, that turns me on,

746
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: Like sometimes I'll think it's a woman and then the

747
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: woman will have a penis and I go, do I

748
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: like trans porn? Like what does that mean about me

749
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: that I want to see a trans woman fucked by

750
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 1: a guy or whatever. And but she has but she

751
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: has a penis? Does that mean that I have a penut?

752
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: Like this stuff that I do in my brain that

753
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 1: makes me feel morally ambiguous because I like yesterday, I

754
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: just realized, like, how do I do not operate this

755
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 1: way outside of sex judging what I like, what I

756
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: don't like? Why it's not hurting anyone? Why is it

757
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: a problem that I'm turned on by anything? First of all,

758
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: this trans women looks better than most women. I thought

759
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 1: it was a woman, not that it even fucking matters.

760
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: There happens to be a dick there. There's a dick

761
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: anywhere anyway, right there. It's just more dicks. Um. It

762
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,240
Speaker 1: just looks like she's wearing a strap on of sorts.

763
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: It doesn't change it at all. And so it's interesting

764
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 1: for me. I think so much of my porn. I

765
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: didn't realize that I was fighting so many of the

766
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,479
Speaker 1: things that I was naturally drawn to in porn because

767
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:40,000
Speaker 1: I didn't want to be that person that likes that thing.

768
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: And yesterday or this weekend, I guess past couple of days,

769
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: I've just kind of given into it and started searching

770
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 1: the words that I used to avoid so much. Daddy,

771
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: not trans, but like daddy or like themdom. I'm like,

772
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 1: does that mean I'm gay? It's like no, I like

773
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: women that are kind of telling women what to do

774
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:02,720
Speaker 1: sexually because they're nice, sir. Women seem to be nicer

775
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 1: to women, and porn is lacking a niceness and I'm

776
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: craving that. And the way to get it is to,

777
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: you know, daddy or fem femdoms, because male doms are

778
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: generally like mean and calling you a bitch, and femdoms

779
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 1: are like, all are you sad and scared? I think

780
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a good little horror that like they're

781
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: more supportive, like a teacher. Rami Yusuf has had a

782
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: joke about like seeing porn and seeing penises he likes

783
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 1: and he doesn't like, and like being like, oh wait,

784
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: is that gay? To like a certain that means I

785
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: like a certain kind of a preference. Preference you were

786
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: to be penetrated by one, you'd have, you'd have you

787
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: want to go look or what I find? You want

788
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: to weigh in on the dick? Yeah, less vain, I guess,

789
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: but yeah, Yeah, it was just an interesting way to

790
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,879
Speaker 1: look at it. Like, there's definitely been porns I've turned

791
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: off because the penis wasn't right for for me and

792
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: that is it too much, not like yours, or it's

793
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 1: too just there's some ugly penises out there that are

794
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: just not like that don't turn me on, you know,

795
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 1: but I've never seen are always huge, the ones that

796
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: are like they look like they have like tumors or

797
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 1: something so big. But then there's that there's a part

798
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 1: of it being that big that's kind of interesting where

799
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: it's like Jesus Christ, what's going to happen here? But

800
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: in the world you want to look at it. I

801
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 1: hate James Dean. He's a popular porn star who is

802
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: in fucking I've heard any like rape women and like

803
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: I've just heard stories that he is not that like

804
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: he just and and I used to be very turned

805
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 1: on by him because he was aggressive but also like passionate,

806
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 1: And now I see it as he is usually the

807
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: one in the gang bang who is doing most of

808
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: the mean thing, starting the mean like you know, pulling

809
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 1: her hair or like kind of moving her legs in

810
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 1: a way that's just like treating her like a rag doll,

811
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,399
Speaker 1: which can be hot. I don't want to slutch shame,

812
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:14,399
Speaker 1: but I've just I heard, you know, there were allegations

813
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 1: about him and then um, you know further things like

814
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 1: now when I see his name on something, it can

815
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: be the best porn that would be right at my alley.

816
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: Will not watch it, even though he I think is

817
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: probably the hottest guy in porn. And I did have

818
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: a friend who did porn and said, yeah, working with

819
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 1: him was the hottest thing of my life because I

820
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 1: hated him and we used to like hate funk each other.

821
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 1: It's like it would be like doing you know, it

822
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 1: was like um in the Notebook, Ryan Gosling and um

823
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: what's her name like hated each other. Rachel McAdams on

824
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 1: set that she thought he was like a cocky like

825
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: hot heartthrob guy that thought he was cool, and he

826
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: probably thought she was stuck up actress and they like

827
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 1: hate each other and it turned into this like way

828
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 1: hotter and they ended up dating. So I do remember

829
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: my friends saying that of like, I didn't like him,

830
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 1: but I would love to do scenes with them because

831
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: we both hated each other so much and we both

832
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: knew it and we would take it out on each

833
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: other in the scene, and so that's really hot to me. Um,

834
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 1: did are we going to get to the I'm sure

835
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: there's going to be more that comes out of it.

836
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: By the time Kane was that he's claiming that porn

837
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: is what ruined his marriage, is that he's that I

838
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 1: saw that. I believe that. I've definitely know that it

839
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: is on my list of things that I do to

840
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: not feel my feelings. And when I can't smoke weed

841
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: and I want to, or I can't cry and I

842
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: want to, or I can't eat and I want to,

843
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 1: you know, let's do porn because it's like it's a distraction.

844
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 1: It's faster than watching some show that I'm not into yet,

845
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,880
Speaker 1: Like it also takes a while, like all the browsing

846
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:02,320
Speaker 1: kind the perfect scene, typing in what you want to

847
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: see in porn, but just adding with easys on, like everything,

848
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: it's like, I want to see girl eat your ass

849
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: with easys on. I wonder what Corny watched, because I

850
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: do wonder if it's like like like whatever, or if

851
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 1: he was as obsessive about it, because I feel like

852
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: he's probably. But actually, when you become an addict, you

853
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: kind of take what you can get, kind of you

854
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 1: just need to fix. So I bet it can go

855
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: either way. But I know people that you you know,

856
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,840
Speaker 1: watch porn all day long. I can usually I usually

857
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: have one orgasm and then I go I want to

858
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 1: keep going because it feels so good and it's like

859
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 1: I want more of that. But the just everything I'm

860
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 1: watching just turns instantly to like black and white television

861
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,160
Speaker 1: of like this is not interesting to me anymore, Like

862
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:51,359
Speaker 1: none of this is good. It's so funny, fascinating. After

863
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: you come them, like like I actually see like, oh

864
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: that's a person, like like when you're really horned up,

865
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 1: You're like seeing like it's like a I don't know.

866
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 1: Then what do you come? And then I'm just like, oh,

867
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 1: that's all right, this is kind of weird. Am just

868
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 1: go oh god, Like I'll go back to the wind,

869
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: I'll go to Instagram after I come, and then I'll

870
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 1: go back to and Reddit to go just on my

871
00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: nightly Reddit crawl, and then it'll be like just double

872
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: penetration like in my fan I'm like, ah, like it

873
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: is so jarring, and seconds ago it was what made

874
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 1: me have the best feeling of my life. Um, it's

875
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: so fascinating. I did try to masturbate last night to

876
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: um just music in my in my stories. Yeah, what

877
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:43,279
Speaker 1: was it, Mozarts? What were you saying that? No, I've

878
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 1: done it before, but I tried to get back to basics.

879
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: I was trying to conjure up you know. UM, I

880
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: was really trying to think about my relationship because I

881
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 1: want to be like as I want to be like

882
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 1: so anticipatory of when I finally see Chris that it's

883
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 1: like the hottest sex ever um for us as a couple,

884
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: and I do miss him so much. So I'm like

885
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 1: trying to you know, I don't don't generally fantasize when

886
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 1: I'm masturbating about my boyfriend, no offense to him, but

887
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 1: it's usually like he has the brothers. I can't say

888
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:24,439
Speaker 1: that even he has one of those, okay, second cousin, UM,

889
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: I probably met them as well. UM his his cat

890
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 1: um so he So I was trying to do that,

891
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,399
Speaker 1: and I put on UM like Dave Matthews because that

892
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: is the sexiest music to me. Goodbye. I put on YEP,

893
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 1: I put on say Goodbye, I put on Crash, I

894
00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: put on UM, and then I'm No, it's just like

895
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 1: kind of going through like the old albums of like

896
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: what used to warn me up? And then I just

897
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: cannot sustain a fantasy. Don't drink the water because it's

898
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: so hot. He's so freaking hot. I can't stand it.

899
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry to be a woman that is talking

900
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 1: about how hot another guy is. But like Dave Matthews is,

901
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: it's still for me the hottest person that's ever. Like

902
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: I just can't my my childhood or like my teen

903
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 1: like I will never feel that horny for someone. It's

904
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: like Chris often says, like the love he felt for

905
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 1: his like first high school girlfriend, like it's not repeatable

906
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: because it's this young, dumb love, like it just you

907
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 1: wouldn't even want me to feel that way about you, Nikki,

908
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,879
Speaker 1: because it was just like I thought I was gonna

909
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 1: like it was just young and dumb, but it was

910
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 1: unbridled and there's something beautiful about that. That is how

911
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 1: I feel about Dave Matthews. It is just this, um, yeah,

912
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 1: I'm all that close in person. Were you like analyzing

913
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: like was he as attractive to you in person? Yes? Yes,

914
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 1: everything everything paid off, Like see him, he was two

915
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 1: feet from me bopping up and down with his hand

916
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: on it, and I was just staring at his hands,

917
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 1: thinking about like like how many times I looked at

918
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: those hands playing guitar and was like I want to

919
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,920
Speaker 1: get fingered by them? Like it was all all of

920
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,640
Speaker 1: those fantasies were happing for me, like the guitar pretty

921
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: like it's pretty Like you know, Dave Matthews looks good

922
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: and cares about a woman's needs. It's just undeniable. I

923
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 1: don't know that I would love Chris to talk about

924
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,879
Speaker 1: someone like this. Um, so I'll just stop. But I

925
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 1: think this is mainly my just like seventeen year old

926
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: Nikki Glazer coming out of like what I used to

927
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: fantasize it would be like to be with Dave Matthews.

928
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's kind of a threesome to

929
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: listen to Dave and then have sex with Chris in

930
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: your mind like you're having your Like that's what I

931
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 1: was saying. It couldn't. I wasn't even I didn't know

932
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: what to think about when I was doing it yesterday,

933
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 1: so I just put on porn. I was like, this

934
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: is very confusing. I can't and I'm not someone who

935
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: can pull up a fantasy. I just can't do it,

936
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 1: say anither D D brain, like, yes, people enter it

937
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 1: that I don't want to enter it. Not in a

938
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 1: hot daddy comes in yeah, or step mommy, not like sexually.

939
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 1: It's just like why is like my brain just oh,

940
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: you gotta put your phone on do not disturb, because

941
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: I mean I've gotten a text from you before when

942
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 1: I'm masturbating and I just go, no, get out of here,

943
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: or like just like podding tomorrow eleven o'clock good, But

944
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm just like I I just lost it. You can't

945
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 1: be in here, and I'm like I forgot to put

946
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 1: it on. You know, you get it all I get

947
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: like Nicole, it's Nancy Pelosi. It's not looking good out here,

948
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 1: like I get, like all texts all the time. Um, yeah,

949
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 1: you gotta put it on do not to sturb. We

950
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 1: will be right back with more shot after this. Alright, Noah,

951
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:09,240
Speaker 1: tell us more about orgasms. Okay, um this, I think

952
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: you'll find very interesting people who have suffered lower paralysis

953
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 1: and can't feel genital stimulation. Sometimes fine, they can achieve

954
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: orgasm through stimulation of other body parts, such as the

955
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: skin of the arm or the nipples. One woman, um,

956
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,520
Speaker 1: who had become paralyzed from the waist down at the

957
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: age of thirty, said she was able to climax when

958
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,600
Speaker 1: touched in a spot on the trunk or neck just

959
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 1: above the region of injury. Huh. I really obviously, I

960
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 1: think that this is possible because I found an roger

961
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 1: zone on my neck that I think is gets makes

962
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: me feel more horny than um than my clip at times.

963
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm not even joking, you like breathing on the back

964
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: in my neck like here, which you know, when is

965
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 1: that ever happening? It just happened one time, um, you know,

966
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: on a subway when there was a creep. No, it

967
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: was It just happened. I think one time in bed,

968
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 1: like we were just cuddling and he was just like

969
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: kind of talking into my neck and I was just

970
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: like I couldn't even say anything because I was just like,

971
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 1: what was happening? Like it was as if I was

972
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 1: being touched on my vagina for the first time. It

973
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,439
Speaker 1: really felt like, this is the greatest thing I've ever

974
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:28,760
Speaker 1: felt in my life. Um, And I think I probably

975
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 1: could have just come from that. I mean, it led

976
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: to other things, but that was what I mean. What

977
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 1: other places on my body your sense if you're not

978
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 1: getting whatever you can touch, that's gonna be the most

979
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 1: sensitive spot, you know what I mean, Like if you're

980
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: if you're generalman, I'm just well, you had other options.

981
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying if you were out of options with your

982
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 1: body parts, where if you only had a head, it

983
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: would be what's the hottest place to touch me? On

984
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: my head? Like if you just had a head. I'm

985
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 1: not kidding, dude. It was like but it was like

986
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: a concentrated area that was as sense. It like gave

987
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: me the feeling of my clitoris, which has a thought

988
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 1: you know, maybe Williams, I don't know science of nerve

989
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 1: endings you and let me let me just please say again,

990
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,359
Speaker 1: if you were masturbating and you were not lifting up

991
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 1: the clitoral hood to get to the clip, which there

992
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 1: is a covering of your clitoris. So many girls do

993
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 1: not know that they need to even lift that up,

994
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:32,160
Speaker 1: and I would venture to guess most men do not know.

995
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 1: They think that's the clet itself, that like little bubblegum thing.

996
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: You need to lift that up to think, Like I

997
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 1: think I've hooked up with the girls before and they

998
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: they don't because they don't know. No, no, no, it's

999
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 1: too much. When I when you're doing too much, well

1000
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 1: then you just like blow on it and be gentler.

1001
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:54,760
Speaker 1: But like you need to expose the over the hood

1002
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 1: it could yeah it could, Yes that can be better,

1003
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: but yeah over it can be good. And I think

1004
00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: a lot of girls are missing out on pleasure because

1005
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: they think that's part. They think that's their clip and

1006
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: they're like, why is it not working? And they're trying

1007
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 1: to put chap chap stick on with the cap on.

1008
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: It's like that this happened to me. My friend texted

1009
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 1: me she bought the Womanizer? Did I tell this how

1010
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 1: that I came about the Womanizer? And she goes, where

1011
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: do I put it on my club? Where's my cli?

1012
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 1: Do I have to lift up the thing? And I

1013
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: said yes, and I go, how is this not in

1014
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 1: the instructions? And it wasn't there. No one's educating women

1015
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: about this. It wasn't in the instructions for the Womaniser. Womanizer,

1016
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 1: get your fucking ship together and have an instructional booklet

1017
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 1: that goes beyond ikea drawings and like gets in there

1018
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: and actually shows women what the funk to do really obnoxious,

1019
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:52,439
Speaker 1: and then I googled it and there's fucking not there's nothing.

1020
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 1: Maybe if you scour, but like you go to any

1021
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: kind of like how do I masturbate? Like if you

1022
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: do write, how do I masturbate as a woman? The

1023
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: op searches I looked, none of them mentioned lifting up

1024
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 1: your clutoral hood. They just say find your clip, and

1025
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 1: it's like, well, most women don't. Let's let's talk about

1026
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: don't know where the clint is. Women don't if someone's like,

1027
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 1: change your oil in your car, and the first step

1028
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 1: isn't lift up the hood because they just assume people

1029
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,680
Speaker 1: might know it. You know, I know they do, But

1030
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 1: all of it looks kind of the same down there,

1031
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 1: and clints look so different. You don't know. But yeah,

1032
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 1: it's like a it's like a little um Marcel the shell,

1033
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: like it's a little snail and it has a shell

1034
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 1: on top, and you've gotta peel back the shell, at

1035
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: least for me, I mean, otherwise it would just be

1036
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: sucking on this, like you know, chestnut down there and

1037
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: the meat is underneath. So insane. Lifted a show tonight

1038
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:54,040
Speaker 1: in Vegas, September two. Thanks Katie L. V Oh my god. Yeah,

1039
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,080
Speaker 1: I didn't get into that yesterday. I avoided all those

1040
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 1: areas the second you know, they you get a little

1041
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: sex of this. I can you say something with an innuendo?

1042
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 1: They go, yeah, there it is and fucking dirty on

1043
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 1: there and where they're like, look, we can't have you back.

1044
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,160
Speaker 1: It's like, bitch, I don't want to be back. Would

1045
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: that would be a nice send off. But I don't

1046
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: like to be crass. I don't like to like make

1047
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,840
Speaker 1: people feel uncomfortable about it if they really don't like it.

1048
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 1: That's the thing. It's like people, That's what I don't

1049
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: like about. People assume that I think I that I

1050
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 1: like offending people, which is, you know, it makes sense

1051
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 1: that they think that. But because I've done roasts and stuff,

1052
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: and the point of those are like to say the

1053
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,480
Speaker 1: meanest thing, those people have signed up for it, you know.

1054
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 1: Like I man, I wrote a joke last night where

1055
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 1: it's trashing someone and they didn't ask for it, and

1056
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 1: it's a celebrity and it's someone I kind of know,

1057
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't fucking do it. It's such

1058
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 1: a good joke. I'll tell you something. I'll tell you later.

1059
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 1: It's so good. I'm gonna do it because I'm just

1060
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 1: too I just hope it doesn't get back to them,

1061
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do it, and it'll probably end up

1062
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 1: in a special because I can't help it when something's

1063
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: funny and I actually don't believe the told I'm saying.

1064
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: I'm making a joke that someone is bad at their job,

1065
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 1: but I actually think the very opposite of it. So um,

1066
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 1: I might have to change the celebrity though to someone

1067
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:12,040
Speaker 1: who's more secure. They can maybe know that they're great

1068
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 1: and they don't need to question it. But um oh man. Also,

1069
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: I had another joke last night that I wanted to make.

1070
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 1: I forgot to do it. I'm talking about um how

1071
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 1: I because I'm thirty eight and my fertility is probably

1072
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 1: plummeting right now. And you know, not that it matters

1073
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 1: to me because I'm not trying to conceive or I

1074
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 1: don't really want to have kids. I still want to

1075
01:00:35,400 --> 01:00:37,520
Speaker 1: want to be able to you know, it's like the

1076
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 1: it's like wanting to be invited to a party that

1077
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:41,439
Speaker 1: you don't even want to go to. It like it's

1078
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 1: that thing it's like for me, And I found a

1079
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,800
Speaker 1: perfect analogy I want to be asked to go to

1080
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 1: Chappelle's farm, but I do not want to go. I

1081
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: would feel I it would afterwards, it would be a

1082
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: lot of work. I would probably feel worse about myself.

1083
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: At the end of it, I would be honored that

1084
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 1: they think that I belong there. I want people to

1085
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: think I'm fertile. I want to be fertile, but I

1086
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 1: do not want to go to the middle of Ohio

1087
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 1: and hang out and listen to people drunk pontificate and

1088
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 1: have to act like, oh my god, these are like

1089
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 1: you know, these people are geniuses, which they are when

1090
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: they're not like wasted and and like in a room

1091
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 1: with a bunch of cigarettes smoke, being like, well that's

1092
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 1: and having to laugh at everything they fucking say, even

1093
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 1: if you don't think it's funny, because it's Chappelle and

1094
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 1: he's a genius, and like you have to give it

1095
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 1: to him, like I those remember during the pandemic, all

1096
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 1: the comedians were going to his farm and like it

1097
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 1: looked like they were the chosen ones, and I was

1098
01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: so jealous. But then the second I go, way is

1099
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: a gad, what have you got an invite? The panic

1100
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 1: that went over me of like, oh my god, I've

1101
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 1: got to hang out with these people all weekend and

1102
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 1: act like interested in what they say and act like

1103
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 1: I know their music, Like there's like certain you know,

1104
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 1: the Woo Tang clan is there, and I have to

1105
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 1: like learn all their names and like study their cattle.

1106
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 1: Like it's gonna be so much fucking work for me

1107
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: to feel cool that weekend, even though I want to

1108
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: be cool enough to get it to get invited. Oh

1109
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 1: my god, the story of my life. Yeah yeah you

1110
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 1: want these, Yeah, it's but yeah, so yeah. I mean

1111
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 1: it's interesting with women because I was talking to Brenna

1112
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:18,400
Speaker 1: about it. But like you go from having your period

1113
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: to menopause, which are both extremes, right, Like there's some

1114
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 1: time in between where you where you stop having your period. Oh,

1115
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 1: like you go from having your period for you know,

1116
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: thirty years too then forty years. Yeah, And I don't know,

1117
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 1: I just find those extremes. That's a little hard and

1118
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 1: stuff like anyone to but like I hate to second

1119
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: you get a break from bleeding, it's like now you're

1120
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 1: gonna have hot flashes and now no one wants to

1121
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 1: fuck you and no one wants to really listen to you,

1122
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,760
Speaker 1: and you're kind of like put out to pasture. And

1123
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 1: some people still like you, but it's just because they're

1124
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 1: being nice to their grandma because they have to be. Like,

1125
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 1: she wants to go to that wedding, she might get

1126
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 1: some dick there, grandpa. Yeah being a woman. Um yeah,

1127
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 1: the bleeding thing is insane. Final thought. So you're going

1128
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 1: to a wedding in Chicago. Um, there's gonna be dancing.

1129
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: I mean, it is fun, dancing, food. Um, we're just

1130
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 1: people watching. I mean there's great things to be had

1131
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 1: from that. I mean I I I see my family

1132
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: so rarely that and your family will be there, not

1133
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 1: to mention the ones that you don't know, but the

1134
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 1: ones that you do know. Now she can't go, and

1135
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 1: I bet she's grateful. Yeah, she's like, finally cop D

1136
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:46,920
Speaker 1: works out for me. Finally emphysema. It's great. Finally I

1137
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 1: don't have to do the hokey pokey or what like,

1138
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:51,560
Speaker 1: someone's not going to pull me out into a congo

1139
01:03:51,600 --> 01:03:56,160
Speaker 1: line with my wheelchair because dealing with the airport is

1140
01:03:56,720 --> 01:04:00,400
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Man, people people for worse old

1141
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,400
Speaker 1: people to do this and make them feel obligated and

1142
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:04,880
Speaker 1: they don't enjoy it. I'm sure there's some that do

1143
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 1: and put up with it, and they're sweet and they

1144
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,240
Speaker 1: sit there and on the flight and they wait and

1145
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: they have nothing but time. But I think it is

1146
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,960
Speaker 1: a very very painful process for a lot of old people.

1147
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 1: And what do you do, Nikki. I am going to

1148
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,040
Speaker 1: Vegas tonight in two hours. I have to pack. My

1149
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: room is disgusting. It looks like I'm waiting for FEMA

1150
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:29,640
Speaker 1: to show up. And here it's so bad, it's awful. Um.

1151
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 1: And then I get in. I'm I'm going to sleep

1152
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: all day, I think, because I didn't get much sleep

1153
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 1: last night. And then UM, do a show. And then

1154
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: I flied to St. Louis on Saturday, and my friend

1155
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 1: Graham Ben Singer, who has a show called The Graham

1156
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 1: Ben Singer Show, is following me around all day. I

1157
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: fly in and I land and I go right into

1158
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: hair and makeup, and then um, he's interviewing me and

1159
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,240
Speaker 1: following me around all day. We're going on a run.

1160
01:04:58,320 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 1: We're going to my old high school, UM to do

1161
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 1: like a you know, um, you know, a report on me.

1162
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,240
Speaker 1: And then he's going to come to Boston for my surgery.

1163
01:05:09,040 --> 01:05:11,680
Speaker 1: And cover that. He's interviewing my surgeon. So he's doing

1164
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 1: the whole piece about my thing that just so happened

1165
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,880
Speaker 1: to materialize out of the fact that he wanted to

1166
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: do a piece on me anyway. And I was like, oh,

1167
01:05:18,280 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 1: I'm actually having the surgery, so I can't do the

1168
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: interview at the time where we thought, and he was like, well,

1169
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 1: can I cover the interview? And so yeah, Um, did

1170
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 1: he reach out to you, Andrew? Yeah, I talked to

1171
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 1: him yesterday, Okay, Yeah, and so he's saying something about

1172
01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 1: asking if I want to be on camera for something

1173
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:38,840
Speaker 1: next week, but yes, you're interviewing my friends and family too. Yeah,

1174
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 1: he's a he's a good dude. It's such a good dude. Yeah,

1175
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 1: it was nice getting whatever anyhow, I think, no, no,

1176
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 1: it's just nice getting to know him. He like became

1177
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:52,160
Speaker 1: like some I forgot even I met him through you,

1178
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 1: and um I've gone over. Like we went out to

1179
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,880
Speaker 1: dinner the other night with him and his girlfriend and

1180
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 1: it was just it was just I don't know, it

1181
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 1: was a fun time. They're they're they're pretty, They're a

1182
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 1: silly couple. I don't know. I can't really get into

1183
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 1: their couple. But she's like a neurotic Jewish doctor and

1184
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:13,960
Speaker 1: he's like he's a little neurotic in his way. But

1185
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 1: I don't know, they're just interesting together. Google Graham Ben Singer.

1186
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:21,720
Speaker 1: He you probably watched his YouTube of him interviewing every celebrity.

1187
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: I mean he interviewed Tom Hanks, Kobe like he mainly

1188
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 1: sports people. Yeah, he's done everyone and big big, big time,

1189
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 1: but he does it have St. Louis. Um. That's where

1190
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,800
Speaker 1: his operation is very successful. I'm honored to be on

1191
01:06:35,840 --> 01:06:37,880
Speaker 1: a show. I went on a date with him during

1192
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: the pandemic. Um. We went hiking and it uh. I

1193
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 1: hope that we can talk about it because it's a

1194
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:47,160
Speaker 1: very It was very much If you want to get

1195
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 1: to know me, that story of going hiking with me

1196
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 1: is a very perfect indication of the type of person

1197
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:56,160
Speaker 1: I am, which was like he thought I was going

1198
01:06:56,240 --> 01:06:59,080
Speaker 1: to be like this fun, chill like I'll take this

1199
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:02,040
Speaker 1: girl in a hike, and I was not having it.

1200
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 1: And I was really at this point where I was like,

1201
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 1: if it's gonna work with me and this guy, he's

1202
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:09,440
Speaker 1: got to know this. I'm not going hike and like

1203
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 1: this ever again. Or if it is it's like for

1204
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 1: his birthday when we're like it married or something like

1205
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 1: I cannot And so I made it very clear I

1206
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 1: was not trying to be like I like it. This

1207
01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 1: is something like I wasn't like on my best like

1208
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,400
Speaker 1: date behavior of like I just want to be the

1209
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 1: girl this guy wants me to be. I was just like,

1210
01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 1: he needs to know the truth, and I was like,

1211
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 1: I hate this. I hate this. I really don't like this.

1212
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 1: I'm not going over that puddle. It's too deep, like,

1213
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:39,960
Speaker 1: and he just I remember him going like, oh, boy,

1214
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 1: are seriously he was just like so he was. He

1215
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 1: was honestly pretty tickled by it. He was just like,

1216
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 1: you are so funny, Like I didn't see this coming.

1217
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 1: He was like shocked. I kind of liked his reaction.

1218
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: We we knew almost right away that we were like

1219
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:57,520
Speaker 1: it was a friend vibe, and so it was just

1220
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,160
Speaker 1: it was nice to cut it with like you a

1221
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,280
Speaker 1: lot crazier than I thought you were, Like That's how

1222
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,960
Speaker 1: he felt, and I was like, and you have too

1223
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 1: much land around you that you want to explore for

1224
01:08:07,320 --> 01:08:11,080
Speaker 1: me to ever explore this relationship. Um, so I am

1225
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 1: looking forward to that and that will be out at

1226
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 1: some point. UM, but everyone, I hope you had a

1227
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 1: good labor day. We will be doing um one show

1228
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:22,640
Speaker 1: a week during my recovery, uh with UM you know,

1229
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:25,599
Speaker 1: we're gonna pre tape them so they won't be like

1230
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,719
Speaker 1: totally topical. But I don't think it will matter because, UM,

1231
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 1: my life is not going to change much from the

1232
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 1: time that I stopped talking, because uh, so you will

1233
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,679
Speaker 1: still be getting content. It'll be weekly like most podcasts

1234
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,680
Speaker 1: you consume UM instead of four times a week. And

1235
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:44,560
Speaker 1: so until we maybe add more shows as my voice improves,

1236
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 1: expect that for the next three or so weeks of

1237
01:08:48,439 --> 01:08:51,680
Speaker 1: one week per uh, one episode per week, and I

1238
01:08:51,680 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 1: hope that's okay. And I will still be active on Instagram,

1239
01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 1: UM doing you know, Buster Keat and Charlie Chaplin type things, UM,

1240
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:05,479
Speaker 1: discovering physical comedy right, so UM tune into that. Please

1241
01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 1: stay subscribed to the podcast, keep supporting and watch stop

1242
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,759
Speaker 1: listen old stuff. UM yeah, and uh we love you,

1243
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 1: don't be Ca and Chack creature jacked up vocal cords

1244
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 1: jacked up. Damn