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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. Guys, sign your

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Speaker 1: guest host Cold Strate for KP for quite a little

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Speaker 1: stretch here. Let's meet everybody today. Uh, James Teney first up? James.

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Speaker 1: Who put the bomp in the bomp a bomp a bomb?

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Speaker 1: Who put the ram and the ramamm ding dong? Was

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Speaker 1: its Beach Boys? And I don't know. I don't know

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Speaker 1: who did it? Who did it? I mean, no one knows.

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Speaker 1: It's like who let the dogs out with their da

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Speaker 1: haven't caught anyone yet, Okay, So usually Kevin tells me

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Speaker 1: I'm right when I give an answer. Is that? Was

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Speaker 1: that just a flat out wrong answer? Look, it's a

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Speaker 1: rhetorical No one knows. I mean it's definitely the Beach

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Speaker 1: Boys did not record that song. But it does not

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Speaker 1: matter because that wasn't what I was doing. I was

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Speaker 1: literally asking in the scenario where someone put the bomb

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Speaker 1: in the bomba bompa bob and someone put the ram

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Speaker 1: and the ramam ding dong, who did it? That's all

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get to the bottom of here at

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Speaker 1: the base man, I like that. I like that. That's

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Speaker 1: the right answer. That's the right answer. Good job, Good job.

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Speaker 1: Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthy, what becomes of the broken hearted?

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Speaker 1: Them farted? That's not right. You know what they do?

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Speaker 1: They duped them stuff themselves off, and they rise up

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Speaker 1: again and their heart becomes whole, and then they get

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Speaker 1: broken again, and it's just a cycle. You should record

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Speaker 1: it as like r E what becomes of the broken hearted?

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Speaker 1: That's an answer song. You need it. You're right, thank

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Speaker 1: you for that. I will, I'll do that, no problem.

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Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado, Chris, what if God was one of us,

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Speaker 1: you know, just a stranger on the bus, he would

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Speaker 1: be he would definitely or she it. They would be

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Speaker 1: an alcamaniac for sure. They would join our Patreon describe

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Speaker 1: at the highest level and all this faun and juicy content.

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Speaker 1: That was a great, great way to fidch it so much.

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Speaker 1: What would Jesus do become in alcmaniac? You go, Mark

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Speaker 1: gangle Ardy's here, guys, Mark, Yes, what have I what

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Speaker 1: have I? What have I done to deserve this? You know,

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Speaker 1: you know you know what you've done to deserve this.

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Speaker 1: We all, we all, we all know what you've done

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Speaker 1: to deserve this. And it's time. It's time, it's time

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Speaker 1: you took some responsibility in your life. You're right, You're right,

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Speaker 1: You're right. I'm board Mark. Last, but not least, Joey Greer, Joey,

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Speaker 1: what have you done for me lately? You obviously not enough.

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Speaker 1: I was over at your house with the day you

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Speaker 1: asked me to come over for an emergency. Apparently you

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Speaker 1: could an open to canna beans. And when I got

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Speaker 1: there and I opened it up, you had hollowed it out,

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Speaker 1: which also was surprised because I said, this is a

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Speaker 1: really light canny beans and he said, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: they're just air fried. And I was like, what does

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Speaker 1: that mean. You said it means they feel the beans

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Speaker 1: the air, so they feel all light. And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: and I've been doing that for the last couple of days. Man,

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Speaker 1: all right, and it's really goodding on my nerves. Have

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Speaker 1: responsibilities here at my home that I need to take

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Speaker 1: care of and I'm not able to do that, all right,

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna have to take some time apart. I

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Speaker 1: get it. I get it, man, But it's beans, beans,

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Speaker 1: the magic fruit. The more you eat, the more you

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Speaker 1: too farted. All right, let's do a damn show show

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Speaker 1: all of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails,

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Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I P. S. To become

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Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content

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Speaker 1: and other berks, just head on over to patreon dot

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Speaker 1: com slash Alchemy this if you'd like to submit a

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Speaker 1: scene suggestion via email, plea's right to the podcast. That

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Speaker 1: are new email not that new anymore, but we're gonna

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Speaker 1: pretend it is. You haven't listened to a few months.

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Speaker 1: Our new email address Alchemy this email at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's scene one m from Patreon v I P. Haven,

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Speaker 1: who wrote how to the Alchemists. I figured I'd try

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Speaker 1: something different again. I searched Florida Man on Google at

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Speaker 1: the time of writing this to get in a scene idea.

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Speaker 1: The chosen article was the first to pop up in

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Speaker 1: my search and argue me the most wholesome and least

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Speaker 1: violent one I could find. The title of the article

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Speaker 1: is as follows, Florida Man tazed for twerking during rainy

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Speaker 1: traffic stop. How about we give our culprit a thick

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Speaker 1: biou accent to top it off? Much love from Canada, Haven. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I got all my reports done there just about the

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Speaker 1: head out. I want to make sure i'd be able

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Speaker 1: to be traffic. I just wanted to make sure that

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Speaker 1: I got this this character sketch correct. You said he

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Speaker 1: had long, uh, straggly knotted hair, an extreme beard. Don't

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Speaker 1: know whether that means thick or long or what, but

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Speaker 1: an extreme beard, both of those, okay, and buy you accent.

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Speaker 1: Now I can't draw that in there. Well, there's like

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Speaker 1: overalls maybe you know, maybe he's on an airboat or something, right,

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Speaker 1: we get it. It's like it's by you to buy

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Speaker 1: your accent, you know. Or maybe there's like catfish all

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Speaker 1: around him or something. I don't I don't know. I'm

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Speaker 1: just wondering, like do you want Is this like a

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Speaker 1: Florida man? Okay, so like a Florida man, but the

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Speaker 1: buyou not really Florida, right, So I think you're giving

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Speaker 1: me like so many different things. And I just get

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Speaker 1: the sketch right so that we can find that find

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Speaker 1: the purp. Yeah, but there's like there's swamp. I'm totally happy.

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Speaker 1: Can I just call you in my car phone? I

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Speaker 1: just want to be traffic. I just want to be

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Speaker 1: able to I just feel like whenever I talked to you,

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Speaker 1: at work. You're always just evade doing me. You're you're

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Speaker 1: walking away or you're either going on your lunch break,

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Speaker 1: you're going home, isn't me? I don't, Yeah, A little bit,

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Speaker 1: A little bit, oh a lot of it, the whole bit.

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Speaker 1: If you're gonna break the bit up in little pieces

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Speaker 1: and adam around and like put things in there, I'd say,

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Speaker 1: don't do that. You're you're the whole bit. Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: really sorry. I'm just trying to be a professional and

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Speaker 1: get my work done. Oh, Ricky rock you our comity,

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Speaker 1: you escape, I boast the obailed, But you ran away anyway?

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Speaker 1: What you do that for? Ricky? But I knew you

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Speaker 1: were there. I just it's when I see the sun,

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Speaker 1: the sun go away and the and the rain coming down,

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Speaker 1: I can't help myself. I just got to get going

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Speaker 1: out there and get my working on. But but but

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Speaker 1: but but I I saw you coming and approaching me,

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Speaker 1: and I know how you feel about dance and on

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Speaker 1: account of your father's religiosity, so I didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want you to see any of the trucking. But we

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Speaker 1: we can still be friends. We can still be friends.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It might end us it might be

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Speaker 1: the final start of road to camel Back. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying that again. You came to take me

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Speaker 1: out of prison, Floyd. You came to take me out

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Speaker 1: of prison and take me out of jail. It's gonna

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Speaker 1: be a final, your final, final gift gets the right

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Speaker 1: and gifted the madjaf for you. And then I move

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Speaker 1: on with my life and my gumbo making and you stay,

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Speaker 1: you do whatever you do. Ricky, you be dancing. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you gotta move this cat. Look, okay, you can't have

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Speaker 1: an idol in front of the prison. I'm sorry I

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Speaker 1: did you. Are you appreciating it? Though it's quite a ride?

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Speaker 1: It is all right. I mean I can see what

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Speaker 1: this is, just just a right of a ride because

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Speaker 1: this is us a fan dancing, right you shouna take

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Speaker 1: your voice spin, we'll go with you. You could take

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Speaker 1: your Ford spending. You can see how much you like

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Speaker 1: and how much I handle the road. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: buy your catlo. Look, you just gotta get it away

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Speaker 1: from the prison. Okay. You've been here long enough. Were

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Speaker 1: blocking the road. You're trying to get home to be

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Speaker 1: traffic or something. We're having a moment together it's illegal

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Speaker 1: to park in front of a prison like this. Do

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Speaker 1: you throw me back in? I bet Flora would like that.

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Speaker 1: Floyd would day together. You know what you want to

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Speaker 1: throw back and you throw him back in there. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. I don't mind. I don't

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Speaker 1: thinking both of you in all right, thinking both you

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Speaker 1: and right now it's take us in, take us on

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Speaker 1: a sale. Um. I don't really see the problem, Sheriff.

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Speaker 1: I understand that every perp that I've drawn in the

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Speaker 1: past couple of weeks looks like Deputy Schuster, But you know,

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Speaker 1: if that's how they're described to me, that's how they

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Speaker 1: described to me. Well, the problem is, I think, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not really supposed to have this conversation, but my

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Speaker 1: guess is that this is actually a personal relationship, and

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Speaker 1: that's why you're not supposed to. Well, if he's he's

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Speaker 1: a scumbag, then maybe some get him for that, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe someone should get him for that. I think that

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Speaker 1: it's just that the relationship ended and neither of you

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Speaker 1: really want to be around each other. Uh. But I

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Speaker 1: just these pictures. Look at this, there's you. You put

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Speaker 1: a name tag on this one, and it's got his

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Speaker 1: name on there. That shouldn't someone be putting him the jail.

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Speaker 1: Here's their hold up? What's up? Bill? Yeah? Man, I

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Speaker 1: gotta be traffic. Cool um, one quick thing. Put your

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Speaker 1: hands behind your back, and motherfucker, you were under arrest.

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Speaker 1: This is a present, your hand a present? No, man,

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Speaker 1: you're going in for what? What the hell is going

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Speaker 1: on in? You match a lot of descriptions, You match

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Speaker 1: a lot of dude. You were the best man at

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Speaker 1: my wedding. You fuck. I had no idea? What hell

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Speaker 1: is going on? Well you tell me, you tell Look

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Speaker 1: at this picture? Okay, okay, Now look at this one,

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Speaker 1: the same picture. Okay, look at this one. Same And

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Speaker 1: who do they look like? I guess my friend, my

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Speaker 1: best friend? Is it me? Yeah? It's you. We're best friends.

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Speaker 1: Stop that? Oh my god? Ware Well well, Ricky, look

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Speaker 1: who it is brought into the gin pile. But that's

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Speaker 1: a fell outside. I shouldn't be in here. I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be in here, all right. I look, I'm supposed to

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Speaker 1: be on the outside. I'm a sheriff's deputy. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: put people in here. I'm supposed to be in here.

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Speaker 1: Hello hello, hello, hello, oh god, oh God, was the

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Speaker 1: last time you were on this side of the bars? Son?

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Speaker 1: They don't. They've never come up when you yelled from Look,

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Speaker 1: I can yell anything I want right now, Hey, officer,

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Speaker 1: you look pretty in them boots. Come on over here,

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Speaker 1: and I want to give you compliments. That's not he's

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Speaker 1: not even gonna come. He's not even gonna come. And

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Speaker 1: off of compliments, actually, um bill, I'm I'm not drinking today.

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Speaker 1: I just came into the bar to say I appreciate you,

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Speaker 1: and I think I'm done drinking. You might ask what's changed, Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you. I was stationed in the prison. As

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Speaker 1: you know, it's my job. I don't know where this

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Speaker 1: compliment hits me, right and it doesn't just hit my ears.

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Speaker 1: It hits me right here, right in the heart. Somebody

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Speaker 1: likes me. So you want to Coca cola? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: have to get Coca cola. Give me a Coca cola.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's like they say, there's the way you

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Speaker 1: see yourself and the way others see you, and the

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Speaker 1: way you really are. I think this prisoner sees me

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Speaker 1: the way I really am, which is looking good at

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Speaker 1: my boots. All right, that's six dollars coke. Alright, no problem, Bill,

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Speaker 1: you ever do you ever feel just good inside? No?

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Speaker 1: Is it raining at all? It's gonna if it's not, No,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna rain. Good at them boots. What do you think? Yeah? See,

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Speaker 1: they don't listen to you at all. It did nothing

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Speaker 1: like listen to this, Hey, officer. I think you should

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Speaker 1: go back to school and get that degree and follow

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Speaker 1: your dream that you were gonna do. But then you

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Speaker 1: set a phone this job. So what I think is

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Speaker 1: you should go back, You should reapply yourself, should get

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Speaker 1: back out there, and you can get your dream job.

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Speaker 1: So I think you can do it. I believe in you,

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Speaker 1: as is everybody else in this place. You don't how

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Speaker 1: we do. We're we're big fans, Bill, We're big fans. Um.

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Speaker 1: Is there a register? Is it too late to register

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Speaker 1: for this semester? Excuse me? Thank god, thank god. I

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Speaker 1: know that it's a little bit. Oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you know. Let me take this bad jo off. I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to. I'll put it back on if you're

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Speaker 1: more comfortable. I'm just looking at you. I can't, uh no,

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Speaker 1: I just want to go back to school. I work

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Speaker 1: in the prison down the street. Don't pick up pitchhikers.

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Speaker 1: They get out all the time. But when I was

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Speaker 1: told that, you know what, I'm better than the job

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Speaker 1: that I settled for. I had dreams of being a veterinarian.

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Speaker 1: Oh coo cood h. So what's next? Well, next, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to need Oh my gosh, Sarah, hold up, Sarah,

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Speaker 1: hold up, you work? Um, yeah, I was just gonna freeze.

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Speaker 1: Put your hands on your back. Yep, yep. What the

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Speaker 1: hell is this? I don't know. You see this sketch

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Speaker 1: an anonymous person? This, Oh it's not anonymous. You drew

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Speaker 1: a sketch of yourself. Well, yeah, I'm working on self portraits.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually taking a class. Some people say that all

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Speaker 1: my drawings look the same. Song trying to get better?

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Speaker 1: Save it, save it for the jail talk time. You're

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Speaker 1: really hurting my wrists. Now I didn't I didn't mean

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Speaker 1: to do that. But listen, wait, wait, wait, I don't

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Speaker 1: understand why that put you in here with us. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that should be a separate holding air. Yeah

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Speaker 1: for artists like you should have a female jail. Oh

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Speaker 1: that too, sure, because I'll let me tell you, I've

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Speaker 1: seen black and I've seen Oz, and I know which

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Speaker 1: one I'd prefer to be in. Oh, seure Oz. Everybody

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Speaker 1: wants to go to OZ. You got an emerald city

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Speaker 1: and a scared groyn. Alright, but I think it's gonna

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Speaker 1: look a lot like one of two people, me and

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Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend. Okay, he's sitting right here. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: why do you Why do you have a stethoscope? Why

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Speaker 1: do you have any do you have a well, First

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Speaker 1: of all, I prefer to call me sheriff. All right,

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Speaker 1: I've got a stethoscope because I'm gonna do physicals today

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Speaker 1: on all the inmates. Um doesn't regular. It is irregular,

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Speaker 1: but it's not often. I have two of my finest

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Speaker 1: buying bars and I want to make sure they're okay.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna bring somebody else in for you, because uh, obviously,

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Speaker 1: but if the men would step up to the sheriff interrupt.

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Speaker 1: But it's officially jail talk time. So this is where

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Speaker 1: they get that they get to have free free talk time.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna I was gonna check vitals. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: can say whatever we want it this time. It's free

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Speaker 1: jail talk time. So, Cheff, how's your relationship at home

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Speaker 1: with your wife and your children. Uh, it's great. I

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Speaker 1: don't spend as much time as as i'd like with them.

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Speaker 1: When we do spend time together, it is great. Jailff,

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Speaker 1: have you ever thought about going on phabbatical, you know,

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Speaker 1: just getting on here for a little bit, maybe exploring

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Speaker 1: the Riviera or the Mediterranean. Don't not sound nice, shriff.

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Speaker 1: I've never honestly heard in the Riviera, but it sounds exciting.

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Speaker 1: But I pretty much dedicated my life to this, and

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Speaker 1: I'm so close to retirement. I'd like to just finish

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Speaker 1: my run. Well, I bet your kids would like for

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Speaker 1: you to finish you the run and that sack race?

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Speaker 1: Did you skip this weekend? I heard you on the phone.

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Speaker 1: I heard you on the phone. Yeah, a little how

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Speaker 1: we are here looking forward to the throat box Durby

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Speaker 1: next week. And if you don't show uf for that one,

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Speaker 1: that's not gonna trouble on the home front. To him,

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Speaker 1: I hate to interrupt, but this just came in from

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Speaker 1: the governor. UM. All prisoners are to be let free. Amazing.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I could twork. I could twork with joy.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, don't run out in the rain. No, no,

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Speaker 1: don't run in the rain. You're got work, and I

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Speaker 1: got the trunk out that under the rain because of

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Speaker 1: the electricity. Oh no, he moved his console. There's nothing

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Speaker 1: blocking that bus coming straight? Emma, is this Hammas are

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Speaker 1: all right? Listen, buddy, we don't have any ducks on.

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Speaker 1: We got veterinarians, all right, So we're gonna have to

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Speaker 1: go to surgery on any like. You're a small rabbit.

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Speaker 1: Do you understand that's a process We have to process

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Speaker 1: a lot more because your ribs are about fifteen times

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Speaker 1: larger than what we're used to, So to make it

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Speaker 1: normal for our brain, we're gonna have to break your

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Speaker 1: ribs down and make him teeny tiny? Do you understand?

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Speaker 1: I understand his teeth are all different and weird? Am

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Speaker 1: I weird to know his teeth are all different than

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Speaker 1: the rapps? Okay, okay, let's let's focus here, people. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's see here this internal bleeding hemorrhgene. Let's see is

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Speaker 1: is there an embriotic sack. Let's see if there's kind

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Speaker 1: of some kind of rabbit sack in his tum tum. Right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go in here now, sir. We don't have

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Speaker 1: anesthesia You're going to be awake the whole time. All Right,

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Speaker 1: there you go, see what's on the inside in here.

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Speaker 1: This is so much bigger than a blame is danced

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Speaker 1: and that's our first season. The only thing to blame

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Speaker 1: is dance too. Is from listener Justin. He wrote, greetings

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Speaker 1: Kevin and Crewe. I shall spare you frivolous rantings of

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Speaker 1: praise or perhaps the questions of the cruise somehow reuniting

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Speaker 1: in the same room again. Everyone just fast forwards through

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Speaker 1: that part of the podcast anyway, No for me, I

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Speaker 1: bring greetings and salutations from the land of the Rocky

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Speaker 1: Mountains in the form of a scene suggestion. In Utah,

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Speaker 1: along with many other places among the United States, we've

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Speaker 1: been getting a heat wave. Even Satan himself couldn't bear yet.

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Speaker 1: I hear of tourists all over the world who are

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Speaker 1: visiting Death Valley to experience record temperatures. My thought is this,

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Speaker 1: wouldn't it be great to hear the Devil himself complaining

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Speaker 1: about the heat to worldwide visitors who are visiting Death

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Speaker 1: Valley for the enjoyment and vacation. Thank you, Justin it

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Speaker 1: on again. You guys, got any idea what this press

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Speaker 1: conference is about. I don't know. I'm just so fucking hot. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think it turned the air condition you're on in

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Speaker 1: this place. It's the pick up the air conditioning. God. Hi, everybody,

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Speaker 1: think if you're coming today, think if you're coming today,

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Speaker 1: and we know this short notice, We appreciate you. Mike,

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Speaker 1: who is this? Who is even coming out here today?

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Speaker 1: What's up with these tiny waters? They're all gone? A

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Speaker 1: little tiny waters are gone? And listen to is short

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Speaker 1: notice for me as well? But um, I think you're

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Speaker 1: gonna like what this person has to say or not,

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Speaker 1: but you're gonna like who it is? Okay, Paul, is

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Speaker 1: it Adele Dan? No, it's not Dan, Billie Eilish, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's Billy Eilish. It's Billy town gonna Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, is she gonna play the best Boy? So?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. A couple of reference points here. We

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Speaker 1: will be talking about global warming. We're talking about the

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00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:06,359
Speaker 1: heat wave. Yes, what'sn't a question. I'm just disappointed. Oh

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Speaker 1: Billy wants to talk about the heat wave. That's it's

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00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 1: not Paul, It's not it's not Billy Eilish. Okay, just

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00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: to believe it was Billie Eilish, it's gotta be Adele's

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Speaker 1: um um members of the press. Uh, I'm pleased to

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Speaker 1: introduce um Satan. Hey, fuck you, fuck you and fuck you?

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Speaker 1: What the hell pleased to introduced? Say what? I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't know. There's is the questions, what is going on?

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Speaker 1: We didn't know coming, we didn't know you have an

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Speaker 1: opening state. I'm sorry, Billie Eilish was supposed to open

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Speaker 1: for me minute. I know it's tough, but then again,

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Speaker 1: even the devil can't follow Billie Eilish. I mean that

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Speaker 1: would be a great opener. Am I right? All right? Billy,

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Speaker 1: she was here. Don't clap the devil. We were clapping,

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Speaker 1: really Eilish blinlish so uh, thank you? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: Oh I got boils are all my hands? Oh, oh

355
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Speaker 1: my god, my legs are coming in locusts. Oh my god,

356
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: happening here. This is what everyone hopes would happen to

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Speaker 1: the press. I'm just doing it for everybody else. What

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00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: I mean, Oh my god? What do we have to

359
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 1: do to get this off of our body? We have

360
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: a good deal with them. Clapped from the first time.

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm fine, You're not fine. Look in the mirror,

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Speaker 1: pull your grab, grab your compact out of your pocket,

363
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Speaker 1: look int the mirror. Okay, Okay, dear Satan, I love you.

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Speaker 1: You're my God. Satan is my God. I worship you God,

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Speaker 1: oh God. Just alright, sweetheart, you can take the blindfold

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00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: off before I can I do some guesses of what

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00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 1: you got me before before I take off the point

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00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 1: we're in the car, so you can guess where we are.

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Speaker 1: I am okay, I think we're at Adult. I think

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00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: we're at Adult. That's funny. No, babe, I can't get

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Speaker 1: those tickets. Oh no, that's not I don't know even

372
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 1: know what the dela. Okay, you can't park in front

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Speaker 1: of the best Buy, the best by. You can't park here, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're not just okay, okay, okay, so no, no, no,

375
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 1: leave it on, leaving on, leaving on. I'm gonna pull

376
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,600
Speaker 1: away from the parking from the shopping center, go a

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00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: little further out. Okay, this looks good. Okay, now, any

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00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 1: more guesses. I think that we're just outside of a

379
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: best Buy. I mean yes, but like, where's your graphically?

380
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: How about this? I'm gonna roll down your window, stick

381
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 1: your hand out. How's that. Yeah, how's that feel? It

382
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 1: feels so so alike to the temperature in the car,

383
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: just feels it should be a little hotter out there.

384
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Speaker 1: You can't, Parker, This is with a loan unloan at

385
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 1: the best Buy? Can't Parker? Okay, we're at loading and

386
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: loading and loading and unloading at the best boy, Okay, miss,

387
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 1: thank you s are okay, baby baby? Obviously you and

388
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: I have talked about our future together. Yes, okay, so

389
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: fill fill this in for me till blank. So thank

390
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 1: you for the matrealistics. So he proposed to you outside

391
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 1: of the best Buy. That was our dream. We talk

392
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: about this in high school. My husband would ultimately be

393
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: my best by exactly, exactly, exactimate purchase the ultimate bye.

394
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: I know. It was a fucking dream come true. And honestly,

395
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,239
Speaker 1: what the hell is this? As much of realistics are

396
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: like ice cold? What the hell is this? That's weird?

397
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: What the hell it's so hot? Onside, I don't understand

398
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: this horn was one of the worst man's ever had

399
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: in my life. Gusting, you know what's so crazy? He

400
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 1: had the whole best By just covered and cheese. My god,

401
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: you're such a cheese for there were daffodils. There were

402
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: all of the video games that you get to try out.

403
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: We're unlimited. Oh my god, you got to play the

404
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: PS one and PS three. Oh oh my god. Alright,

405
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: geek squad, I need you to to clean up this

406
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 1: area here. Uh, this goddamn GOODA in the in the computers.

407
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: I know it's I don't know who approved this. Uh

408
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: you don't put a craft single in the CD ROM drive.

409
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: There's daffodils in this fridge box. Look. I know it's

410
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: gonna be tough. It's everywhere. Uh just go department department.

411
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 1: I'll start in washer dryers because I'm pretty sure there's

412
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,120
Speaker 1: some GOODA wheels inside there. Um. And we just gotta

413
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: clean this ship up before uh we opened in another hour.

414
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Speaker 1: And I know this is a lot to ask of

415
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 1: you guys, and I'm gonna fight for some overtime for you. Um,

416
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: but we just need to clean this place. Soup, it's

417
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: it's I'm so sorry that this happened. Hey, Jake, you

418
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: want to come with me and clean up all the

419
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 1: like uh PlayStation game, Xbox games. He's already covering plastics,

420
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 1: so it should be easy. Yeah, yeah, okay, I got

421
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: complaine take to take the games with your shoe. Sure,

422
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 1: did you say you want to play with me? No,

423
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,320
Speaker 1: we can play video games and some of that. I

424
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: don't want to go play video right, Yeah, all right,

425
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 1: that's fine. That's that's cool. Is it cool? Yeah? Hey,

426
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:55,159
Speaker 1: satan Um, I just wanted to thank you again for

427
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 1: the deal we had where I would propose the love

428
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: of my life and she would say yes and in return,

429
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: I give you. I kind of forget what that part was.

430
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: What do I give you? I mean, that's the main thing.

431
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: I got your soul and uh so that's just done.

432
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: Do any to do anything? Sign it over or we

433
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,160
Speaker 1: signed that contract. That was the thing where I picked

434
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 1: your finger. And the little thing that appeared in mid

435
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: air and then disappeared, that was the whole thing. Can

436
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,360
Speaker 1: I just say one little thing that didn't go off

437
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,719
Speaker 1: as well as I thought. She was so fixated on

438
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: all the cheese and the best Buy she didn't really

439
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 1: get to experience that it was happening in Death Valley,

440
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: you know, because it's so hot out here at that

441
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: would be cool, like our love is so hot and

442
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: she's so hot. Until death drew his part and we

443
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: live in the valley you know. That's so you're complaining.

444
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: You're complaining of what I did. You should have been

445
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: more specific. You said, that's my proposal. She's at the

446
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: funk up, and I did all right. Now you want

447
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 1: me to concentrate on the ben again. Congratulations on the proposal,

448
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: but uh, these church are very abnormal. It seems like, well,

449
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 1: the only way I can disagramb it is your internal

450
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 1: arm turning into what looks like a rabbit. So the

451
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: ribs are shrinking, your internal organs are going teeny tiny,

452
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: and I don't know what that means. I can only

453
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: assume that life expectancy for you would be to day's

454
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 1: if not a little less a little more than days

455
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 1: medically medically speaking. Huh yep, turning as you were rabbit.

456
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: Shouldn't co complained about how it did the job, should

457
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: not have complained, Well, it just seems that I thought

458
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 1: I was gonna have cute ears, not have all my

459
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: organ trucks. You're getting tiny. So you got about a

460
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 1: day and a half to get this wedding done with

461
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: or before you turned into you know, a little bit

462
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 1: of patta. You know what I'm saying. It is hot

463
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 1: here right dearly beloved. We are gathered here to witness

464
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: the marriage of this obviously human woman with Ah. This

465
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: is the first for me. I'm not going to lie.

466
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know how you'd like to be

467
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 1: referred to, how you'd like to be introduced. I'm I'm

468
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: trying to go with the wishes of of all people involved.

469
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: But this was a rush job, so I didn't get

470
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 1: a chance to write anything. I'm not sure what to

471
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: call a half human, half rabbit hybrid who's shrinking as

472
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: we speak. So happy, happy, Wow, that's that's delightful. So

473
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 1: happy do you take this human woman? I object? Father,

474
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 1: I object? Thank God? Yes, what's the objection? Well, first

475
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: of all, it's a Harman. It's a Harriman, is what

476
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: he would be considered. But that's not my real objection.

477
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 1: My real objection is you've brought the devil into your church. Well, yes,

478
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 1: he was on the guest list. He's sitting right there. Hey,

479
00:28:55,440 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: look if someone is on the guest list. None, Oh God,

480
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: we believe it God here, and you've brought the devil

481
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: into our home. No, we aren't relieve in Satan. Here.

482
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: Satan cured my boils. Satan cured me. Okay, you've got that.

483
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: You got that? You you stupid, you stupid. Okay, Satan

484
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: is God and he's here. He's here. Kidn't you ever

485
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: said Satan showed up? This place has been hot as hell. Okay,

486
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let this wedding go off. At least

487
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: my family is not gonna. You know what, kids, come on,

488
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: we're leaving. But joy being kids, enjoy being hair kids.

489
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: But we didn't sell our souls. You can't complain. I

490
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: can do dick things. Well, everyone in this congregation is shrinking.

491
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: What is happening? What is happening? I did? I did? Oh?

492
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: I Now, come on, Sean, I don't know what to

493
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: tell you. I mean, you can pray all you want

494
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: to God, but Satan's here. Your kids are gonna be

495
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: little rabbits. I don't know what to tell you. Come on,

496
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,719
Speaker 1: you gotta have like a hook up or something too.

497
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: I did, I did, okay, Sean, but I'm not appreciate anymore.

498
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,239
Speaker 1: Give that up. Come on, look this is look how

499
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: quick we're turning into hairs. Hi? Are you guys open?

500
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: I want to return these noise? Cancel? Yeah, I could

501
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: still here. Do you have the receiver. Can I ask

502
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: you something? What do you have the do the other receipt?

503
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: Do you think it's a waste? Just give me a second. Okay,

504
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 1: I'm working. I'm working. I know what you're thinking doing,

505
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: But what you're really doing is you're throw in a

506
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: real lifeful way. He used to be a priest and

507
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: he had a direct connect to God, and now he

508
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: works on the geek squad. Oh isn't that a waste? True? Yeah,

509
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: I'm a sales and returns for the geek squad. I'm

510
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: not even on the guy named field team. So do

511
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: you have a Do you have receipt for this? No?

512
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: I don't. Okay, we can't return the money. I'm back.

513
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: Oh boy, did the trip go great? I missed you

514
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: so much. I missed you too, I am. I've been

515
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: really inspired since you left. I've written a new song

516
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 1: or rewritten or rewritten an old song. Oh, Billy, you

517
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: didn't not to do that for me? I did? It

518
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: goes like this? It goes like this. I had a dree,

519
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: I got married and the best buy there was lots

520
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: of cheese, and I married the best guy. A song

521
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: as that does he I'm gonna get married everybody's a

522
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: rubbing now and I'm turning Harry and it keeps going. No,

523
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: that was great, and I gotta commend you for problem

524
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: is you didn't fall asleep that time while you sang.

525
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: And I'm really proud of you, really proud. Well, if

526
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: I kept going, I would. And that's the problem. I

527
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 1: keep falling as so they can't book me. Adult keeps

528
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: booking all my gigs. They can't book me because I

529
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: keep falling asleep in the middle my damn songs. There there,

530
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 1: it's it's all right. You know I need you for

531
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: my domination plan. You're gonna lull everybody to sleep. I'm

532
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: spreading lots of misinformation. They don't even notice the global

533
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: warming anymore because they're all obsessed with Best Buy Rabbit weddings.

534
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: Let me just going, it's going, I am you know, hey,

535
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: thanks for coming to the press conference. Everybody just setting

536
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: what is it this time? What is this? Paul? You

537
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: ruined this town with your last press conference. Mike the

538
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: Devil showed up with his wife Billie Eilish, and everybody's

539
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: a rap, isn't You're the one that you're giving up.

540
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: I'm having to introduce. It's pretty convenient that the next

541
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: week you get proposed proposed in front of the best

542
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: Buy covered with cheese. How does that even happen? How

543
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: are you human again? What that was going? Know? The rules? Human? Well,

544
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 1: if you'll let me introduce our next person of interest, everybody,

545
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: I'm thrilled to bring on. Oh my god, oh my god,

546
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my godness, Locust, Locust. Second scene,

547
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: Oh nice work. Scene three today is from listener Brett,

548
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: who wrote, Hey, gang, my C suggestion is the alchemy

549
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: this gang meets to hold the door. Guy, order up, guys,

550
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 1: Solomon Grundy, Marvin mckugh and every other character you all made.

551
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: Just kidding, Thank god, My C suggestion is just literal breadwinners.

552
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: Take care, Brett. Next up in the competition, we have

553
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: Luke le and he'll be presenting his prized rabbit. Luke.

554
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: I'm oh uh which judging? I'll be here silently, Luke Yes.

555
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 1: I just want to point out and makes the funnest baghettes.

556
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: I'm look, I stamped them all with look baggett stamp.

557
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 1: Don't not worry. It's a hot brand, so it just

558
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: makes it makes a little browner. It doesn't make it Uh,

559
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: it tastes different, just a little little brand apart that says, look,

560
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: so please take a bagget bites. Have some some bagel

561
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: bites that I put a little bit of pizza on

562
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:40,919
Speaker 1: top of I cut them and have put a little

563
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: PiZZ on top of them. Or these bagel bites your

564
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: bread or no? These are they were frozen bagge bites

565
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: from the I just brought some bagel bites from the

566
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 1: story as aside for my with your bread, with my bagats. Yes, yes,

567
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 1: so please be honest and be honest the bagel. I'd

568
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: I could try a piece of the bread with the

569
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,919
Speaker 1: stamp on it, so I can officially know that there's

570
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: no difference in taste. Right, Well, here you goes is

571
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: that for you? Uh? And bread with stamp and so

572
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: I do I appreciate your eatting the bigger bites, but

573
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: you've eaten nearly all of the bigger bites and you

574
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 1: haven't eaten any of my So you have any pepperoni?

575
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 1: These are just murderit. Well, I didn't bring the pepperoni one,

576
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: but I just want they were they want pepperonis. Oh

577
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,720
Speaker 1: look he still doing the little stamps on zeb heads.

578
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: This is so a dorible. Look, it's so chateau. I

579
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 1: knew you would be here. That's right. You should come

580
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: to my boos check out zember that I am making,

581
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: because let me tell you, man, if many feak my foot,

582
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: many fake my foot, your bread taste like my foot,

583
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: that's what your bread taste like. Your bread taste like

584
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: somebody stepped on one of my bagel bites and then

585
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: ate the foot. So there you go. How how would

586
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: you know what's that tastes like unless you have tasted it? Oh?

587
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 1: Is this? I'm rubber your glue? Is that what this is?

588
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 1: This is we playground hunting or with playground hunting? Yes? Yes, yes, no, Papa,

589
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: I did not get to compete. The competition was completely

590
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 1: taken over by two idiots. You just kept fighting. I

591
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: didn't even get to give them my pumpkin, my pumpkin love.

592
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: Please do not be said Papa. But we put all

593
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: the money into the ticket for you to enter. I

594
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: don't want you to cry, Papa. I don't want you

595
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: so that you could do the competition and my fault

596
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 1: to always cry because of me, And it makes me

597
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: feel like we're going to go back then, and if

598
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: we've got to make sure that you get your bread

599
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 1: into the competition. Hey, Chuck, I just want to say

600
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 1: thanks for you know, taking a risk on hiring me

601
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 1: here at the dark. I know I gotta a rocky

602
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 1: pass and a bit of a record, but you know

603
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: I'm honest man now, and and I work honestly. Um

604
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 1: on one little little thing is today's pay day. And

605
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 1: when I went to my locker, I was expecting a paycheck. Yeah,

606
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 1: tough break today, kid, tough break today. Look well it's

607
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: what are these little tiny uh these little bread? This

608
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: little looks like a bag of bread. Yeah, that's a

609
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: bag of bread for pigeons. Old Chuck wanted to give

610
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: you something for a send off, because, uh, here's you

611
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: take this. Yeah, we're we're not making the money we

612
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: used to make your on the docks. Yeah, I'm sorry

613
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: about too many cigarettes this morning. We're gonna, we're gonna,

614
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 1: we're gonna all wish you well. I really mean that, kid,

615
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: Am I the only one in that? Yeah? Yeah, you're

616
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: sort of You're the sandbag on this particular hot hair

617
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 1: blue and we gotta keep the thing afloat. What is this?

618
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: This is your rent? A little bag of bread for birds?

619
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: What is this well, I was thinking if you let

620
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,880
Speaker 1: them crust out, they would be good on salads and

621
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: stuff crushed out? Do you mean do you mean baked

622
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: bread to make cruetones? I just talking about that's the

623
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: word cruetone. I couldn't look. Look, I need when I

624
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 1: when I got, when I got let out of the slammer,

625
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: nobody would give me housing. Okay, you took a chance.

626
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 1: I mean you trust in me, and I appreciate that.

627
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: And you appreciate that by giving me bread in a

628
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: little zip luck bag. Yeah, I got nothing else to say, Polly,

629
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: I mean, what what what? What? What the fund do

630
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: you want from me? Poll? Huh? What else do you want?

631
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: Funny money? Look, I'm sure you're not gonna be able

632
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,920
Speaker 1: to stay here. I'm sorry you're gonna are you doing like?

633
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: Oh of me? Like you're gonna pull me out right now?

634
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 1: I can't go into my house and understand, I'll get

635
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: your shoes. I'll get your shoes, all right, there you go.

636
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 1: You're kicking me the but hey, hey, there you go.

637
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: I have a computer in there, and it's it's a tell.

638
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 1: No one uses a tell anymore, okay, and I'm taking

639
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 1: this little bag of bread. Oh, look at this quiet

640
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: little table, This pumpkin looks even if even Chateau and I,

641
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 1: who have been nemesis for our whole lives, knows that

642
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: this pumpkin love does not stand a chance, let us

643
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: walk away laughing. I will have the last laugh. I

644
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: will have the last laugh. What do you got here?

645
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: It is a pump It's a pumpkin love is a

646
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: seasonal right now it's it's a pumpkin. It's a pumpkin love.

647
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: So it's not it's a similar to pumpkin nicole. I'm

648
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: not familiar with pumpkin loop. Give it a try and

649
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 1: maybe you will like it. It is a little bit sweet,

650
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,359
Speaker 1: almost like a cake, very very dense, moist, very good.

651
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: I really really need to win gold in order to

652
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 1: keep my father happy. Ever since Momi date, he can

653
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 1: stop crying, and there is the whole world is on

654
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: my shoulders. So can I be honest with you for

655
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: a second? Can I cadge love with you? These petrols

656
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 1: are so I can't can. But I think I thought

657
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: I was like judging like a rabbit thing, just like

658
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: all can you wait until after you eat? To me?

659
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: It really bothers me to hear you too while you

660
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: took I just can't stop in this guy and Petro

661
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 1: so fucking good. There's one French guy. I think it's French.

662
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: You might be CANi, but he came out to like handmade. Again.

663
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: I guessed while you eat so but I didn't you

664
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: just take your time and eat part of me. I

665
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: was just walking through this park. I see you got

666
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: these tent set up. Seems to be some kind of

667
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: it's a rest, yes, come come in? Can helpful? Yes? Yes,

668
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 1: I see this a bread and the rent fair? Yes, yes,

669
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: at the carnival tent here? Yes? Do you think these

670
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: would be worth anything? You got a handful of crumbs?

671
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: Do you think this is any kind of Can I

672
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: enter with bread? But you'll you do have to put

673
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: a wage? Possibly those shoes or maybe that No, not

674
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: that delicate puter. The shoes will do. The shoes will do, Okay, Yes,

675
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 1: I me yup. I got nothing else. That's just your name, okay, Lorraine.

676
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: I can't go to that. I can't go to the

677
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: rent fair today. My ship is messed up. I had

678
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: I had. I had sex last night for the first

679
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 1: time in many months, in many months now, like crusted out. Oh,

680
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: I don't go to the rent fair. They'll have a remedy.

681
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 1: They have remedies for everything. They have an apothecary. He

682
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: has all those jars. Surely there's an I'm crusted out jar.

683
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm honestly so uncomfortable. Every step just reverberate like itch

684
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: throughout the core of my body. It's like I can't

685
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: even scratch it because it's within me. Just use your

686
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 1: old wheel chair from when you broke your leg, will

687
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 1: decorate it in fair style. Sorry interrupt, ladies. I know

688
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 1: you're in the ladies dinner. You want some saltines. I

689
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: just brought out a plate of saltine crackers. Dad, you're welcome, Okay.

690
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 1: I wish he'd bring us some kind of drink with

691
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: the assaultines. I feel like he's constantly trying to the

692
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: opposite waterboard me, crust, crumboard me. What is with the

693
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:44,800
Speaker 1: people in your life? It's all about crust and crumbs? Uh? Yeah,

694
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: this is um, this is uh. I'm nervous to be

695
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: around French judges. If I front you know what I

696
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 1: heard two French guys, I assumed judges ignorant. No, no, no,

697
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: we should be we have the eggs. But what do

698
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: you have as we woke up and stick up fingers

699
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: in your little bowl of food? What is this you

700
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 1: have here? I call it pigeon bread, pigeon blood. Let

701
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: me taste one of these. Sure suck like blue. It's

702
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: not expecting look the lord delicious. Yeah, they're saying, but

703
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 1: you're not good. Hold on a second second. Let me

704
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 1: have this pizza really quick. Huh, Actually, let me another pet.

705
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: This is the first time he's judged the bread competition.

706
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 1: I think he's actually typically a fair grounds for pigs

707
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 1: and animalsloves pizza rules. Just first time. O my god,

708
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just try the bread crops. Yeah. The

709
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: guy that just lick my fingers and dipplement, Yeah, lick

710
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 1: your finger is an impressed into the ball. That's a

711
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: lot of good. Oh oh it's really good. It's like

712
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 1: my it's like breadsticks. But the center's my finger. Do

713
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 1: I win? I mean, I we really got to wait

714
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: for the other judge. It's kind of important. And let

715
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: me just say there's a little girl who her family

716
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 1: is depending on winning gold. So we love sad sad

717
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: sack of bread fight as the rain fair? Is that

718
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: what this is just because Chateau and Chala owns the

719
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: two most fancy, fabulous bakeries in town. We are not

720
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 1: considered because we are already rich. Oh you're very much considered.

721
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: It's just that like you've started from somewhere that was

722
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: already one. So many I have high expectations. I didn't

723
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: have any expectations of these bread problems we are now,

724
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 1: but we will not always that the way we will

725
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:12,720
Speaker 1: kiss to my upbloaking was so tough. Yes, we only

726
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: got wine three times a day, three times three times.

727
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: That was it. But my life was My life was

728
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: harder than than Chateaus was. My life was infinitely harder

729
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 1: than Shateaus. My life was harder than the little girl

730
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,760
Speaker 1: with the with the whatever she brought in the pumpkin

731
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 1: and the cluton man I had hearted. Every year you

732
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: enter this amateur bread contest and it's a lot of

733
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,760
Speaker 1: us superber. We want to see some up and coming

734
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: new bread makers. Look, my dad, is you try living

735
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: in the same house? Was the I do is? The

736
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:52,479
Speaker 1: fat man is a flatulent, it's always strunk. It's very

737
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 1: much not in the good place right now. So they

738
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:02,760
Speaker 1: embossing the bread is all I had to escape. Remind,

739
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 1: my father was my father was a rather TOI, and

740
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,560
Speaker 1: we did have nothing in our house, and so I

741
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: had to scrape by on the combs on the ground.

742
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 1: So I should win this because I'm for the king.

743
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: That the king, the king of the jousers starting and

744
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 1: the king is here the rent fair makeway? Wait wait

745
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 1: wait gay from from from Okay? Hello ah uh, this

746
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: is like a bred competent still going on. You could service.

747
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: The judges seemed to be split on who gets this

748
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: thing as he was the king, so uh, what's the

749
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: bred options? Pappa? He didn't win again. He turns out

750
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: some women came in last minute, had something called sultines.

751
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 1: The king loved it. She took the whole thing. Please,

752
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 1: this cannot be true. Please do love me. I cannot.

753
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 1: I cannot love you part of me, young lady. I

754
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: just wanted to say congratulations on your win. Uh. And

755
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that you are in a wheelchair. It's actually

756
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: not um, not that that matters, but you don't need

757
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 1: to apologize whether it's permanent or not. Like, um, what's

758
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: the deal? Uh? Kind of an injury, kind of an injury.

759
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: I'm healing. I'm on the Okay, you rolled an ankle

760
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: or something? Yeah, kind of an injury or let me guess,

761
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,800
Speaker 1: are you crusted out? How can you tell it? Their smell?

762
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that cracks the blood competition. I see.

763
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: We can never go back. We can never go back

764
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 1: to a baker us. We can never go back to Flance.

765
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 1: What are we going through? Is I found a friend

766
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: in you that I did not know ahead you know, Chateau,

767
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 1: You are right. It was the first time in our

768
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: lives we realize that we have more in commons than

769
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: we have differences. Drink and get totally crust the dead.

770
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: Let us go get clusted out to my friend. Yes

771
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 1: to life, to life, and that is our show. What

772
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 1: a day of mall? Yeah? Really we agree a little

773
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 1: bit this day. Let's go through here. Raise up to

774
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado. Oh thanks so much. Man. Jeez, that was crazy.

775
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,280
Speaker 1: That was a crazy show, crazy show. I love playing

776
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:50,959
Speaker 1: with everybody here. I just feel good. Life is good.

777
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: I have a podcast called The Comedy Fash where we

778
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 1: question everything you've ever thought you knew about performance and comedy.

779
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: Give that, give check that out. See what's going on there?

780
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: Thank you? Nice Beckie Gonzales Roth, Well, thank you for

781
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: having me. It's always a blast. And I um Jackie

782
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: Druthy on the Socials. The most wonderful pot of the

783
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:16,240
Speaker 1: year is uh my other podcast where I talk about

784
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 1: not so well liked Christmas movies. Um. And we are

785
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: starting a week early, so we're starting the last week

786
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: of October, so right around the corner. Can't wait. Nice,

787
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: There's tons of Christmas decorations and stores already, so I

788
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 1: think it's about that time. Mark Gagliardi, Yeah, thanks for

789
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 1: having me, man. It's always fun to see you guys.

790
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 1: And this is I'm I feel bad for the patreons

791
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: that are seeing the thing that I'm throwing them out

792
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: of it by doubling over, laughing through half the show

793
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: and trying to do it quietly. Um, but yeah, thanks

794
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: for having me. I'm Mark Gags on Twitter Instagram. We

795
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 1: got this with Mark and how dropping new episodes every

796
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 1: week on the Maximum Network and Blood and Treasure CBS.

797
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: Uh season two coming soon. Nice, And I'm glad you

798
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,720
Speaker 1: and I still have voices. After two voices we decided

799
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: that are total throat rippers. Good Lord, James Ceney, thanks

800
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: for having me. Go check out game Front on YouTube

801
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 1: and there's just tons of content these days. In fact,

802
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 1: we have new videos every day. Nice Joey Greer, Yeah,

803
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: you know what's going on. You know where I'm at

804
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,720
Speaker 1: and all. Honestly, I am trying to find the best

805
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:39,240
Speaker 1: sp October shows available and it's it's it's a limited

806
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: it's a limited bunch this here. I get it, but

807
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 1: it's I'm I'm a little sad. So if anyone has

808
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: any suggestions, please let me know. I'm at Cole Stratton Stratton,

809
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 1: Cole on your socials. What is that exactly? Halloween? Halloween?

810
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: Halloween's the thing. It's happening soon, guys, in what capacity

811
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,040
Speaker 1: we don't know, but it is coming up at col

812
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 1: strand Straton Coal on different socials. Go to s sketch

813
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: Fest dot com check out videos. We're only gonna be

814
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 1: up to November one and then we're announcing our lineup

815
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 1: for our twentieth anniversary festival and Big November. That's the

816
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 1: thing that's supposedly going to happen in January of next year,

817
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 1: so definitely check that out. Hey, big thanks to our

818
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: engineering producer Doug Baine and the fine folks at iHeart

819
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 1: Media dot com. Please write to us at alcove you

820
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 1: this email at gmail dot com. That's alcohol dot com.

821
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 1: Until next time,