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Speaker 1: Before we begin this week's episode, please make sure to

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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts. Please five star reviews only. Hold me Down,

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Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for holding the kid down,

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Speaker 1: and I really do hope that y'all enjoyed this week's

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Speaker 1: episode as much as I did. Later, welcome you are

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Speaker 1: now listening to psional. Oh hey, guys, welcome to this

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Speaker 1: week's episode of the PhD Podcast. It's your girl, eban A,

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Speaker 1: and I'm super excited about this week's episode. Before we begin,

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Speaker 1: please make sure to following me on Instagram at the

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Speaker 1: Professional home Girl, at the PhD Podcast, and last but

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Speaker 1: not least, at eban a Beauty. Please keep in mind

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Speaker 1: that all of my guests are anonymous. So let's begin

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Speaker 1: this week's episode. So to my guests, how are you

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Speaker 1: feeling okay girl? Good? Are you excited nervous? I'm excited, okay, good.

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Speaker 1: You don't sound nervous. All my guests be nervous. No, girl.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really excited about this conversation. I've been wanting

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Speaker 1: to interview a correctional officer for so long. So we

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Speaker 1: connected through your niece, which I'm super excited about. Like love,

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Speaker 1: heart of death. So what's the misconception if you want

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Speaker 1: to clear up about being a correctional officer for a CEO. UM,

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Speaker 1: some of the misconceptions are that, like, first of all,

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Speaker 1: the number one thing you always hear about a correction

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Speaker 1: officer is that where high paid babysitters. Like that's like yeah,

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Speaker 1: like I wish it was a babysittering job. I wish

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Speaker 1: it was that easy. Or um, if babysitters are doing this,

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Speaker 1: some people need to like check their kids because that's

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Speaker 1: not what it is. UM, So you just deal with

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Speaker 1: like whatever. Like I literally watched the news and think

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Speaker 1: of the worst of the worst, because there's so many

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Speaker 1: things that happen out in this world that don't make

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Speaker 1: the news, but the worst of the worst stuff always

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Speaker 1: make the news, right, And I look at it differently

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Speaker 1: now and go yeah, so I'm gonna have to deal

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Speaker 1: with this guy, right, So my nerves start from home,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, where you're just like watching

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Speaker 1: it as a regular citizen and going, dad, that's bad.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, this guy is crazy. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: so I have to give this guy orders, right, I

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Speaker 1: have to deal with this guy in a different ways.

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Speaker 1: So the high paid baby sort of thing is one

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Speaker 1: of the misconceptions. And then you have the thing like

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Speaker 1: we're just there and it's just violence, and it's just

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Speaker 1: all this stuff that's going on that most of the time,

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Speaker 1: I guess because we're the quote unquote professional gets highlighted

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Speaker 1: when we do something wrong. But we're mothers and counselors

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Speaker 1: and everything else. Right, we have confidence. You have to

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Speaker 1: learn how to use your skills, right, so we use

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Speaker 1: talking skills. Everything is not about violence. So there is

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Speaker 1: a very violent place it can be, I should say

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Speaker 1: a very violent place. So that's one aspect of it,

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Speaker 1: but it's what's usually highlighted, and it's it's not that way. Uh.

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Speaker 1: Another misconception that I even came on with was that

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Speaker 1: these guys walk around with shackles and right the old

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Speaker 1: school movies and the black and white uniforms, and they

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Speaker 1: are like left right left is not like that, these guys.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing it for a while now. So um,

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Speaker 1: I actually started my fifteenth year next month, and so congratulations,

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Speaker 1: because I know it wasn't easy. No, it wasn't easy,

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Speaker 1: and this is not what I set out to do.

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Speaker 1: So I literally went to college later on in life

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Speaker 1: and graduated college, and in my last class of my

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Speaker 1: last semester, was like sitting at the table waiting for

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Speaker 1: the class to start, just reading the paper to past

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Speaker 1: the time, and saw ad to become a correction officer,

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Speaker 1: and was like, I'm gonna put it in for it, right,

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Speaker 1: you putting for all the city jobs just in case

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Speaker 1: whatever your plan, if it's not that doesn't work out,

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Speaker 1: then you just like I could do the city job right,

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Speaker 1: city jobs, it supposed to be so good. So that's

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Speaker 1: what I did. So my path took a shift. And

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Speaker 1: I always say God led me to this place because

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Speaker 1: I think I do it really, really well. It's it's

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Speaker 1: where I'm supposed to be. I don't go to work

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Speaker 1: and say God, I hate this job. It's not the

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Speaker 1: most glamorous job is not exactly what I necessarily want

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Speaker 1: to do, but it's just what I do well. So

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Speaker 1: God knew better than me. And what did you want

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Speaker 1: to what did you want? What was you going to

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Speaker 1: school for? I was going to school to be a teacher.

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Speaker 1: And my mom was a teacher. My sisters are teachers.

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Speaker 1: And I was like working first as a social worker,

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Speaker 1: and the I didn't work for the Border Education, but

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Speaker 1: I worked inside of the Border education from like a

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Speaker 1: private company. And I was being a social worker and

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Speaker 1: I was seeing all these I was working in the

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Speaker 1: elementary school and seeing all these kids affected. It was

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Speaker 1: like one of those people was like I could make

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Speaker 1: a change. Yes. And then I started working in a

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Speaker 1: high school and after school program, which actually I say

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Speaker 1: all the time, God has led me to this career,

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Speaker 1: and it has led He has led me through this career.

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Speaker 1: And so I um was working in the high school

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Speaker 1: after school. And the reason why I said that correlated

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Speaker 1: because you know high school kids, boys, they're fighting, and

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Speaker 1: this is that. So when I walked into the environment,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't in total shot. That wasn't what shocked me. Right.

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Speaker 1: My neighborhood was one that was like pretty rough, So

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Speaker 1: that part didn't bother me, and I just took the

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Speaker 1: test and they reached out and I took the test

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Speaker 1: and they called me. I scored pretty pretty high, so

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Speaker 1: my profits moved fast. I literally graduated college in May

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Speaker 1: and was hot started in the academy for corrections in November.

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Speaker 1: I just to ask you, what was the process like,

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Speaker 1: because I know when some people take the test to

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Speaker 1: be a CEO, like it could be years before they

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Speaker 1: get later. So I was sitting next to who who

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Speaker 1: is now my best friend when we was doing our

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Speaker 1: final higher. When you're filling out all these paperwork, they

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Speaker 1: have like a little index card with like your score,

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Speaker 1: and this is Satata and she kind of peeked over,

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Speaker 1: not knowing me. It was like what's your school or like, oh, shoot,

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Speaker 1: shot scored hard. I took the test two years prior,

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Speaker 1: three years prior, and I not knowing nothing about city

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Speaker 1: jobs or anything like that, which just didn't even understand.

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Speaker 1: But yes, it could be a long process, and it

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Speaker 1: was just I'm telling you, God, let me there. I

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Speaker 1: literally starts finished college in May and started um corrections

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Speaker 1: in November, and I kind of wasn't sure if this

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Speaker 1: is what I was gonna do. But I just was like,

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Speaker 1: it's moving, let me move with it and see what happens.

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Speaker 1: I always have this degree to fall back on. Teachers

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Speaker 1: are always needed. I didn't want to stay in the

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Speaker 1: city that I'm in and was like, I can move

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Speaker 1: and do great being a teacher someplace else, but let

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Speaker 1: me just see where this takes me. And the whole

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Speaker 1: time I was in the academy, I was like, uh,

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Speaker 1: this is not for me. I was quitting every day. Girl,

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Speaker 1: every day when I look at you, because, like I said,

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Speaker 1: your niece introduced us to each other, and when I

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Speaker 1: was looking at your pictures, I'm like even she was

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Speaker 1: like when she was describing me to you, because I

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Speaker 1: think we was we had went to dinner or whatever

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Speaker 1: we were talking about. I was like, yeah, I really

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Speaker 1: want to interview a female CEO because you know, I

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Speaker 1: feel like a CEO job is not an easy job,

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Speaker 1: but also being a woman and being a CEO gotta

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Speaker 1: have this like it's moments. And she's like, oh, my

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Speaker 1: auntie is a CEO, and I'm like, ever funk out

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Speaker 1: of her? I'm like, what are the odds? And she's like, yo,

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Speaker 1: when you see my auntie and she does not look

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Speaker 1: like a CEO. So when I was looking at your pictures,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how maxt she getting into this? So I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you gave some backstory to that, right and so

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Speaker 1: um yeah, so it was it wasn't that for me.

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Speaker 1: It was like pretty early on in the academy, what

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Speaker 1: they do is they take you on like a visit

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Speaker 1: to jail. Right. So where I work, as a misconception,

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Speaker 1: you have city jails are usually like one jail, especially

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Speaker 1: if you're in a small town or a different state

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Speaker 1: than I, then it's a small city jail. So the

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Speaker 1: jail I work in as a correction officer, these guys

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Speaker 1: are detainees waiting to be sentenced. And then when you

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Speaker 1: go upstate, it's a whole different a dynamic. Right. So

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Speaker 1: when you they take you to a city jail, Um,

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Speaker 1: when they take you to the jail, have ten jails

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Speaker 1: you could go to. They took me to the female jail,

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Speaker 1: and I just was like, no, this is not me.

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Speaker 1: I was walking around there and you have the women

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Speaker 1: that's like gay and they like guys, and they're like, girl,

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Speaker 1: when you come here, we're gonna be oh girl. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, um no, and I was quitting every

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Speaker 1: I mean every day. It was physically it was a

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Speaker 1: little strainer to me because you're working out every single day.

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Speaker 1: The work wise, it's like you're being in school. The

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Speaker 1: work wise was not hard for me because I had

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Speaker 1: just got to graduated college. I was used to study

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Speaker 1: in and all that stuff. It just was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure, this ain't for me, this is not for me.

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Speaker 1: I was My brother was like, girl, don't do it,

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Speaker 1: and I just was like it just kept moving, It

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Speaker 1: kept moving faster than I could think, and I was

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Speaker 1: just like, okay, let's see. And so what happened was

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Speaker 1: the female jail wasn't for me because of those aspects

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Speaker 1: and because I'm just in nature, just who I am

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Speaker 1: is like, I'm not gonna let a female play me,

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Speaker 1: and so I chose. So what happens is is when

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Speaker 1: you graduate the academy, they have just like a regular graduation,

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Speaker 1: you have a valet Victoria and the salutatoria. My friend

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Speaker 1: who looked over at when we was being hired and said,

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Speaker 1: you scored high. She wants she's my best friend to

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Speaker 1: this day that like we became best friends and she

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Speaker 1: was actually the VALIDATORI and I was the SALUTATORIA pick right,

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Speaker 1: so you get to pick where you want to go

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Speaker 1: when you have that honor, and I actually picked the

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Speaker 1: mail one of the biggest jails and mail facility. Are

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Speaker 1: you comfortable with saying what jil it is because I

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Speaker 1: think I know what jil it is on Riker's Island.

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Speaker 1: I work on Rikers Island, Okay. I wanted to make

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Speaker 1: sure because I don't know if you told me or

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Speaker 1: if your niece told me. So Riker's Allen is, uh,

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Speaker 1: they people don't know. I didn't know that Michaels Allen

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Speaker 1: is basically made up of ten smaller justice actually an Allen,

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Speaker 1: I know. Nobody knows that. I didn't even know that.

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Speaker 1: And you have to cross the bridge. And so the

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Speaker 1: nine jails where we have eight now they closed one recently,

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Speaker 1: but we the eight jails on male and you have

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Speaker 1: one female. So yes, you have one female jail because

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Speaker 1: it until recently, I don't know the stats or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. Females really didn't commit with Carmes, right, So

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Speaker 1: every female category went into that jail, meaning teenagers whatever,

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Speaker 1: they went into that jail and the other male facilities

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Speaker 1: because you have so many, so many facilities. What they

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Speaker 1: try to do, for the most part is break them

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Speaker 1: up into um different um division. So you might have

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Speaker 1: a jail that's mostly drug addicts. You might have a

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Speaker 1: jail that's more high classification than other jails. My jail

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Speaker 1: that I went to, like I said, is the biggest jail,

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Speaker 1: so they hold they held a whole different host of classification.

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Speaker 1: So we had mentally um still inmates, We had inmates

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Speaker 1: with uh AIDS and HIV, we had highly assorted inmates.

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Speaker 1: And I chose to go there. My idea was that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to come on this job and work really

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Speaker 1: really really hard in the beginning and learn as much

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Speaker 1: as I can know and work really hard. And then

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Speaker 1: by and then as my time go on, and I

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Speaker 1: got my feet wet and I got my time, and

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Speaker 1: then I kind of trying to find a place where

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Speaker 1: I could kind of, you know, fall back a little bit.

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Speaker 1: And it really did work that way. I learned a

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Speaker 1: whole lot being really really fast in the jail that

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Speaker 1: I worked. Then, like me and my best friend, she

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Speaker 1: she went to the female jail. She chose to go

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Speaker 1: to female jail. And we've had two really different careers,

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Speaker 1: not saying that mine was worse than the same household,

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Speaker 1: but literally have two different types of experience because of

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Speaker 1: the n exactly, we're looking at two different views. I

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Speaker 1: say stuff to her and she's like really, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: do you do the job? I explained to her about

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Speaker 1: gangs and stuff and she's like, oh my god, for real,

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Speaker 1: And I'm like yeah, because female jels are less violent

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Speaker 1: and less things going on and all that type of stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I choked to go down. Why do you think

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Speaker 1: Markers it's like the most notorious things to his persons

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Speaker 1: out there because it's so big. So yeah, if it's

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Speaker 1: so big and it's New York City is huge. So

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Speaker 1: we're hosting to we host a different type of population,

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Speaker 1: you know, we deal with a different type of population

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Speaker 1: where if you have a smaller city and a smaller

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Speaker 1: population than this, less things going on. We have five

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Speaker 1: burrows that we deal with that come from all different

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Speaker 1: types of walk of life, all types of things going on.

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Speaker 1: So it's just a bigger population that we take care of.

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Speaker 1: So it's far so as far as the respect goes,

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Speaker 1: because I know, like like so I used to date

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Speaker 1: the CEO, and you know, I used to ask some

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Speaker 1: questions and stuff because I'm like, wow, like I can

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Speaker 1: just only imagine what like legs go through and you're

256
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Speaker 1: trying and tell another man with it, and of course

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Speaker 1: you want to be respectful because you don't want to

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Speaker 1: think that you're trying to try him and cause all

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Speaker 1: these issues. So how is the respect for females because

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Speaker 1: like you're not you're a good looking woman, like you're

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Speaker 1: welcome because that's sac is just only imagine that that

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Speaker 1: that you chose to do the male facility, Like how

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Speaker 1: was that? So I learned I came in fifteen years

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Speaker 1: ago on a good time. I would say that a

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Speaker 1: good time, meaning that we really had what you would

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Speaker 1: call old Tama, Like I'm not an old Tama, but

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Speaker 1: I'm reaching that point. But you had picked people with

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Speaker 1: fifteen twenty years on the job that really taught you

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Speaker 1: the job and they had a sense of control. Do

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Speaker 1: your unsand so uh and I always leave my life

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Speaker 1: with respect, but gets respect right. So I've always called

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Speaker 1: myself the defining factor. So I'm I'm the person that

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you get away with nothing that

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Speaker 1: you're not supposed to do. But I'm not gonna do

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Speaker 1: nothing that I'm not supposed to do either. And when

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Speaker 1: people see that you move that way, I don't care

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Speaker 1: if they're it may a person in your life respect,

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Speaker 1: but gett respect. So I'm doing everything that I'm supposed

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Speaker 1: to do. You gotta respect that. So when you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to eat, you're gonna eat. I'm not gonna withhold that

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Speaker 1: from you. If you're supposed to you remember, these these

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Speaker 1: guys um depend on us for everything. The basic necessities

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Speaker 1: that you and I take for granted, they depend on us.

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Speaker 1: And if wanted, somebody could take that one little privilege

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Speaker 1: away from them, and then that change of dynamics that

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Speaker 1: takes away to respect, that just gives you a whole

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Speaker 1: bunch of problems. So if you're supposed to get tissue,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you tissue. If you're supposed to get

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Speaker 1: two page, I'm gonna give you two paced because I

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Speaker 1: understand that for whatever reason, I'm not there to judge.

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Speaker 1: I'm a correcsional officer, not a judge, not yet that yet.

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Speaker 1: I want to go there, but that yet, I'm not

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Speaker 1: there to judge. I don't even want to know your crime.

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Speaker 1: I'm here to do a job and I'm here to

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Speaker 1: provide a service. I'm supposed to make sure I care.

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Speaker 1: We call it the these sees, right, so we have care, custody,

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Speaker 1: and control. That's my only job. That's it. That's all

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to do. And I've done that the whole time.

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Speaker 1: One thing that I really made sure of that I

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Speaker 1: saw when I first came on that I saw a

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Speaker 1: lot of the females and I hope I'm not disrespected.

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Speaker 1: And nobody was really hard when I came on. Hard,

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Speaker 1: meaning they kind of took on like a male persona right,

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Speaker 1: it was harder. And I don't know if the job

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Speaker 1: changed them that way or they felt like that, Um,

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Speaker 1: it can. It can very much change you. It's very

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Speaker 1: hard to walk in an environment. When I came on,

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Speaker 1: I hear that the numbers. So in the last six years,

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Speaker 1: I came out of Riker's Island and I work in

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Speaker 1: the court area, which is still the same. You have

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Speaker 1: the same guys coming to court, so you're dealing with

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Speaker 1: the same dynamics and the same disrespect. But it's just

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Speaker 1: a difference. So I don't know in the housing areas

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Speaker 1: and stuff where they sleep at that night, how it goes,

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Speaker 1: but I hear the numbers changed. But when I was there,

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Speaker 1: it was two to one hundred. That's how I worked.

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Speaker 1: It was a one officer in the bubble, one officer

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Speaker 1: on the floor with I mean that you, I mean,

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Speaker 1: don't you think you need more than two people? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Because on one side with fifty guys, what they're going exactly? So,

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Speaker 1: But we managed, and we we We had very few incidents,

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Speaker 1: at least I did in my career because I I

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Speaker 1: was supposed to do and I didn't. So it's hard

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Speaker 1: to walk in an environment like that. I was saying.

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Speaker 1: The reason why I probably changes women is because it's

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Speaker 1: hard if you don't have very It's a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff that I feel like you have to have in

328
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Speaker 1: order to do this job well. Right, So I always

329
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Speaker 1: tell my children in life that you have to be

330
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Speaker 1: smart with your books and know how to uh figure

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Speaker 1: things out and read well and understand that comprehend because

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Speaker 1: that's part of the job. People leave that at the wayside.

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Speaker 1: But I always know, one black and white what the

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00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 1: job is telling me what's supposed to do. But you

335
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 1: have to have a little bit of that street stuff, right.

336
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,399
Speaker 1: You gotta have a little bit comments. Sense you have comments,

337
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 1: sense you have to have a little bit of that

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Speaker 1: swag that little These guys don't have nothing but twenty

339
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,040
Speaker 1: four hours, seven days a week to look at you.

340
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,359
Speaker 1: They don't invite this island. It's not like being upstate

341
00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 1: where they have programs and school and all that other stuff.

342
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 1: They literally walk around eating coffee, watch TV or they

343
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Speaker 1: work out with it like a little yeah community. Yeah,

344
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 1: that's all it is, you know what I'm saying. So

345
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Speaker 1: you're walking around and in my when I first came on,

346
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,480
Speaker 1: it wasn't like that where you like a bit a

347
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,560
Speaker 1: whole all day. But they look in and they lust

348
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,919
Speaker 1: in any of this, this and that. So I do

349
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 1: have a question about that, but go ahead. So I

350
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,520
Speaker 1: when I saw these a lot of the female not all,

351
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Speaker 1: but when I saw a lot of female officers, and

352
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Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, they hard, they didn't bop, and they

353
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Speaker 1: probably forget how to put on shoes. I really I

354
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 1: wanted to be conscious of that, right. So it's so

355
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 1: funny because when I first came on the job, I

356
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 1: used to, uh not, I hope I'm not being discussed.

357
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Speaker 1: But if I didn't have my minstrel I wore a

358
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Speaker 1: throng underneath my work pants. Every day, I'll make sure

359
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Speaker 1: that my bra was lazy. I wanted to when I

360
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Speaker 1: went to the bathroom and pulled down my pants. I

361
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: wanted to remember that I was a female, right, But

362
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Speaker 1: I keep my nails done. I keep I was like

363
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Speaker 1: that anyway before I came on the job. But I

364
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Speaker 1: didn't want to get hard. So my hair stayed done,

365
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Speaker 1: my neil stayed done. And like I said, that's what

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Speaker 1: I'm really known for. Like you always you look you

367
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 1: look fine, like you look put well, put together right,

368
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Speaker 1: And so you have to learn how to do that

369
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Speaker 1: and be that way for yourself without using that sexuality

370
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Speaker 1: and that femininity too. And it crosses a line right

371
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Speaker 1: with a guy. I'm not dealing with a guy like hey, listen,

372
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Speaker 1: you gotta listen to me now, I'm still tough, like

373
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Speaker 1: what you're supposed to be doing. What did I tell you?

374
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 1: Know what I'm saying, go sit whatever case may be.

375
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Speaker 1: But for myself, I needed to So it's it's it's

376
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: a thin line to um. So everybody wants to know

377
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 1: because I always did, like my listeners and my just

378
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: the PhD community and heads up, who am at the interview,

379
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: and the number one question that everybody want to know

380
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Speaker 1: is what is the most valid thing you witnessed there? Oh? Wow, God,

381
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: I witnessed so much almost it's a toss up. So

382
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Speaker 1: the two worst things I could give you too, Like

383
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 1: that sticks out of my automatically in my house and

384
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 1: ever I've seen a guy gets stabbed nine times, and

385
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:21,639
Speaker 1: then you don't. For me, it didn't. It doesn't affect

386
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 1: you until you're like driving home and you're like, holy shit,

387
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 1: that just happened because you have to react. And the

388
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 1: thing about it, I was the bubble um officer and

389
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,199
Speaker 1: so I wasn't on the floor with the guys, and

390
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: my partner was, like I said, on the other side

391
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 1: with the other fifty guys. And it appeared to just

392
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Speaker 1: be a fight. And so you have this female I'm

393
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 1: five ten, she was like five five or whatever, and

394
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 1: she had to run over there, and you're helpless. You

395
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 1: can't go out there. I have to remain in control

396
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 1: of where my area, so I have to get her attention,

397
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: and she runs over there and it just appeared as

398
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 1: a fight. And um, the guy that would stabbed nine

399
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 1: times actually was beating the ship out of the guy

400
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 1: who stabbed him and it wasn't until we pulled him

401
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: out and was like, yo, this guy is stopped sapped

402
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: like nine times. And the ship that really caught us

403
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 1: on guard was like he was like, um, you know

404
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: when the higher ups came and you called for helping

405
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 1: all that, and they was like trying to get him

406
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 1: to help, and he was like, let me call my

407
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 1: mother because I'm going to die and I want to

408
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 1: speak to my mother first. He didn't die, thank god.

409
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 1: That was that was really bad. And I've seen a guy.

410
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: I didn't see him get cut in his face, but

411
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 1: he could, which happens all the time. But he got

412
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: cut in his face to where you could see his

413
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 1: tongue and he literally he must yeah, you could. He

414
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: must have been a shot because it was in the

415
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: yard and he like took his hat off his head

416
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: and I can see him. I was at the gate

417
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: and I can see him walking towards me and he's like, yo,

418
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: I just got slightly And I'm like, what are you

419
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 1: talking about? Because he looked normal, but his hat his

420
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 1: like Scully hat. He had it on his face where

421
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 1: he had got cut, and so I'm like what what

422
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: And he was like, you know, I just got cut

423
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like what and he like took his hat on,

424
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: like yo, in my face whatever. Like those the worst

425
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 1: things that I witnessed for myself, like in the midst

426
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: of it happening. But stabbings and slashing. I've seen people

427
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: fight really really bad, like you you're looking for a weapon.

428
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: I've seen people bite the skin out of people's face.

429
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: I've seen that. But just a lot of fighting and

430
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 1: you have to react. You don't get time to be like,

431
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 1: oh my god, you gotta essentially almost might be saving

432
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: somebody's life, you know what I'm saying. But how do

433
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: you how do you deal with all this and not

434
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 1: take it home? Because like they got it like VENs

435
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 1: with your mental and I'm really big on like mental health.

436
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: It's like but you just see and I know you've

437
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: probably not seen it every day, but when you do

438
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,199
Speaker 1: see it, it's just like Jesus Christ, like, how do

439
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: you stay grounded or keep your mentor straight? I like, well,

440
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,440
Speaker 1: I go out, I have a good time. You look

441
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:02,000
Speaker 1: like the girl, yes, girl, when it's my time, it's

442
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: my time, and you come to a place where you

443
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 1: just don't talk about it, you know, what I'm saying,

444
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: especially with people who are not on the job, like

445
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: in relationship or something. If your spouse is not on

446
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 1: a job, they don't want to hear that every dingy

447
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: and they don't really understand. I can explain it to

448
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: you all the way down to the detail, but when

449
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 1: you in it, it's a whole different thing, you know

450
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,159
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, So you just don't talk about it.

451
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 1: I know that one way, not really with the violence part.

452
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,199
Speaker 1: One way that um it affected me. I was in

453
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: relationship when I first got on a job and it

454
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: ended because I'm not gonna say it because of that.

455
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: But one big factor is one day we went out

456
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: to eat with my friend who was on who was

457
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 1: on the job too with her spouse, and we're sitting

458
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: there and I'm like, yeah, my relationship is great. I'm

459
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 1: on a double day right now. And my dude turned

460
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 1: to her dude and was like, YO, she ain't fucking

461
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 1: bossy now that she out of the job. And I

462
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: was like looking at him like and he was like yo,

463
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 1: ever said, and I had been you know, on and

464
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: off with this guy since I was younger, so he's

465
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 1: seen the switch. So he was like, yo, ever since

466
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: she came home, since she started doing the job, she

467
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 1: come home and be like, yo, um, I couldn't find parking,

468
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 1: go fucking park my car. So I didn't know how

469
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: to get out of that supervisory telling a man what

470
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: to do and his every move and transition to i'm

471
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 1: with a man that I don't need to do that.

472
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm home now and I need to calm down. It

473
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: wasn't until he said that that if I realized it,

474
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: and it still took me a little while. So what

475
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: I started doing was when I was time for me

476
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: to cross that bridge, I would turn on some d

477
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: M MAX, some fifty and be like, okay, like it's

478
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 1: a job, it's go time, right. It's almost like a

479
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: boxer playing his music while he walked into the rain,

480
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 1: and you know, you gotta do the job. And then

481
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 1: when I would cross the bridge, I would and take

482
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: no phone calls. I would just do stress. I would

483
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: play some other type of music. I would prepare my

484
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: self to come home and just be this other person

485
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 1: until I knew how to do it without thinking about it. Now,

486
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh, please, just job these people,

487
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,160
Speaker 1: whatever the case may be. And that's how I did it.

488
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's not easy with the part, with the

489
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,479
Speaker 1: violence part. I think that, um, it numbed me in

490
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 1: my life, So what's what? And I'm not just talking

491
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,360
Speaker 1: about seeing violence. So if we both see somebody get

492
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: shot in the street, I probably wouldn't be as affected

493
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: as you. But I'm just so much it numbs your

494
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings. So my so from from life, which

495
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,880
Speaker 1: is really bad. So my cousin is also a correction

496
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,199
Speaker 1: author side. And I remember a time that we was

497
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,879
Speaker 1: away and something happened and and and everybody else was crying,

498
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: and we literally looked at each other like, I guess,

499
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: like you feel it, but you don't allow yourself to

500
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: express it, you know what I'm saying, Not like that,

501
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,439
Speaker 1: not like but no emotion. But I guess for me

502
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: looking listening to these like it's like you're just used

503
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:10,360
Speaker 1: to it, like it's like a But it's like I'm

504
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: dealing with people that chopped up their mother and raped

505
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: old ladies and whateverever. So they're looking for you to

506
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,959
Speaker 1: they're looking for a weak spot, They're looking for you

507
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: to see that emotion so they could play off of it.

508
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: These guys, these guys are real criminals like, they play

509
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: off of your stuff all day, so you just you

510
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 1: gotta be unaffected. Like you know, you have guys that

511
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: come up to you and be like, oh, you want

512
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: to read the paper and give you an article, and

513
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 1: you open up the paper as an article about them.

514
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: You they're waiting for you to be like, oh that's

515
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: him and see the scare. And I sit there and

516
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 1: read the paper and be like, I am good, thanks

517
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 1: for the paper. I'm not even trying to show you that. No. Well,

518
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 1: I know you've been there for fifteen years. Have you

519
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: ever been in a situation that was crazy that you

520
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 1: want to be like this ship? No? I can't think

521
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: of a time. I mean you get frustrated, and it's

522
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: a lot of the times, Like I said, because um,

523
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: I've been there for so long, they're gonna test you

524
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: in the beginning, they're going but not for lack of

525
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: better words. You make a name for yourself. They know

526
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: that oh she on, she gonna do her job, we're

527
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: gonna get what we need, or she ain't playing, or

528
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: they know how you move or whatever. So once you

529
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: set that name for yourself, then that's what you rock

530
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 1: off of. Um. The frustrating people are your co workers

531
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: because they come in with you have women that are nasty,

532
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: just mean all day. You gotta work with this person

533
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: that's just you and them, and you just like, uh,

534
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: it's draining. But how I choked that up is I'm like,

535
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,880
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on in nobody's household, right,

536
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: So when you have a especially a female who come on,

537
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: I just started telling myself she might be getting beat

538
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: up at home. This might be her only power. This

539
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: is not this, This ain't about me. I didn't do

540
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: nothing to the same. Yeah, Like like I'm not even

541
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: going let her get me into that or whatever, And

542
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: so you start being frustrated. I started being entertained. I

543
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: move a lot by myself, you know what I'm saying.

544
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: I don't I come and go by myself. I'm very friendly, like,

545
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 1: hey girl, how you talking that? But I'm not really

546
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 1: invested in your life, Like I'm not a whole life

547
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:22,639
Speaker 1: outside of here, Like I'm this work is something that

548
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 1: I have to do. I'm trying to do it so

549
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 1: I could get to my real ship. You know what

550
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm saying, my real life. I'm thinking about that party

551
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 1: I'm about to go to. I'm not even invested in

552
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 1: none of that. So nothing really made me be like,

553
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: you know, I'm out of here. I quit. I gotta

554
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: I just gottas sorted, not just, but I gotta sort

555
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: it like two years ago. And that kind of it

556
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: didn't make me feel like I wanted to leave, but

557
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: it shook me up. Yeah, there's due a sort to me,

558
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: like I got permanent damage to one of um my

559
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: my arm, Like my arm don't move and do like

560
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: I look, I look really regular. So people be like,

561
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: she dimned, But I really have damaged. I can't do

562
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 1: I can't I could do like fifty maybe forty of

563
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: the stuff that my arm should be doing. So I

564
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 1: can't wash my back with my left arm. I can't

565
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: lift my hands straight up. I can't stretch it extended

566
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: fully out or whatever can. And this is after surgery

567
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: for them trying to heal whatever. I gotta get it.

568
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: Did you get into it or we are he um?

569
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: He didn't really have a reason. And that's the thing. See, you,

570
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: we're humans, and so it's when somebody has sold you, right,

571
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: it's hard for you to disconnect that it's not about you.

572
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: But it really wasn't about me. I had no words

573
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: with him. I just had to go get him to

574
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: score him. And like I said, they're not shackled up

575
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: like you think they are. So my job at the

576
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: time was to shackle these guys up, right, So when

577
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: if I'm shackling him up, when I get to him

578
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: and I open up his cellf he's not shackle his

579
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: hands are free. So I'm responsible. So it's one of

580
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: the most dangerous um posts to have. And he really

581
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 1: was come to find out. His story is that he

582
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: was running from gangs, meaning that he was in one

583
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 1: gang and he left it and he went to another

584
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: one that's betrayal, and so the gang that he left,

585
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: of course want to get him. So he figured out

586
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 1: that if I assault staff, they so when they assaulted us,

587
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: they get escorted differently, they like by theirselves, and they

588
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with you. I had no They

589
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: asked him why he assaulted me, and he was like

590
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 1: why not. They had nothing to do with me, And

591
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: so I got to eat it up as uh a

592
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: consequence of the job that I do. You know what

593
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying, because you not not. The only thing I

594
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: could do is save myself while it's happening. But what

595
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: is over is over. You know what I'm saying. I

596
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: could do as much I could do to get out

597
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: the situation is what I did, you know, But this

598
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: is a he was nineteen years old. But girl, when

599
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: I said he was strong, that boy was strong. I

600
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: was in shot when it first happened, and so when

601
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:57,719
Speaker 1: I left from the area, I had to go out

602
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: to the hospital. The girl, it was actually a girl

603
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: who came another female I should say, officer who came

604
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: to my aid because we was in like a place

605
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: where you couldn't really see what was going on, and

606
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: we had body alarms, but he had my hands and

607
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: I couldn't get to my body alarm. And she heard

608
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 1: my voice because I was like, get the funk off,

609
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: I may get you know what I'm saying. And so

610
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: she heard my voice and she came to my aid.

611
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: So we both had to go out to the hospital.

612
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: I didn't talk the whole time. They said. The first

613
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: words I said when I got to the hospital was

614
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: that motherfucker was strong, because that's all that's the first

615
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: words I said. I don't even remember. I was in

616
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: such shock, like because I'm like, oh my god, this

617
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: just happened. Because they do cut officers. They do all

618
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: types of stuff, and I think people like girl, I

619
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: got splashed before it was toilet water, thank god, but

620
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,239
Speaker 1: it went in my face, so I was a girl.

621
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: I think the worst stuff that happened to me is

622
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: that assault obviously was the worst, and then two years ago,

623
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: so you didn't it ten years and now what? Yes,

624
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: I got assaulted thirteen years and so I've been like

625
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: doing ever since. But I um, I got kicked off

626
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: of ambulance, but it may kick me in my back

627
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: off of the ambulance. Yes, girl, We was trying to

628
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: strap him down to the gurney and when it was

629
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: time for us for us to get off, I was

630
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 1: the last man or on my team off and he

631
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: kicked like donkey kicked me off. I got splashed. I

632
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: think those are like the worst thing I've been and

633
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:36,360
Speaker 1: you know we have to tussle with them to restrain

634
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: them and do all that stuff. I've gotten my knees been, girl,

635
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: I've been broken up. You have to do what you

636
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: have to do on his job. But it never ever

637
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 1: made me feel like to answer your question, and never

638
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: ever made me feel like, you know, what, it's time

639
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: for me to leave never I set out to do

640
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: twenty years on his job, and twenty years is what

641
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to do. I know that joll get paid

642
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 1: really good. Do you think that the one of the

643
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: reasons why y'all do put up what the cels put

644
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: it with a lot of this is because of the benefits. Yeah,

645
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: I think that. Um I've had an old week called

646
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: him the old time. He got like thirty almost forty

647
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: years on the job girl, and yes, And I was like, uh,

648
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: when I first got on, I was working with him,

649
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: and I was like, um, you know you you never

650
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: thought about leaving or whatever the case. Maybe because my

651
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: fiitching years. He already had his twenty year, because you

652
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: do twenty years and be out. And he was like,

653
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 1: this job has allowed me to do anything my the

654
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: wildest dreams. If I could dream it, I can afford

655
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: to do it. And that is true. And he like

656
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: he just he never had no kids, he said, he

657
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: never got married, and he just buys like expensive cars

658
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: and take expensive trips and all of this other stuff.

659
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: But I feel like even with those things, when you

660
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: start making money like that, when you go to leave,

661
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: you thought to panic, like, oh my god, I can't

662
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: make no money with this type of money, no other way,

663
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 1: other place. But if you're not happy, I say this

664
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: to people all the time, because it is people that

665
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm gonna leave. I should go. I said,

666
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: you should go because if you feel like that, there's

667
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 1: nothing more than your happiness, there's nothing more than your piece.

668
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: You shouldn't show up to someplace that every day you're

669
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 1: miserable that your mood is changing. You are talking preaching

670
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: to the choir. I literally just put my one week

671
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 1: notice and so I'm starting a new job. I'm gonna

672
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: give us all episode on that. And the director was

673
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 1: just pretty much asking me, like, you know, why what

674
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: are you? Were you happy? And I was like, honestly,

675
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: I've been here for like almost three years and I

676
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: never was happy. My face broke out, I was stressed out,

677
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: my body tin stuff. I was like snacking all the time,

678
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 1: eating ship that in the business eat and I'm a

679
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 1: very like clean eating person. And I was like, it's

680
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: not a goal, like and that's so true, Like if

681
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: you're not happy somewhere, yeah, I to them, do this, man, Yes,

682
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 1: everything's going to be your spirit anything. I know people

683
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: who have left this job by choice or by fourth

684
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,879
Speaker 1: and they figure you're going to figure it out. You're

685
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: going to figure it out, whether however it is, you

686
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: may do whatever, You're going to figure it out. I

687
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 1: know I would if I wasn't happy. I don't fold

688
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: like I've always been a er as bitch my whole life.

689
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: So I'm going to figure it out. Desided that I

690
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: was truly truly unhappy, and I feel like I just

691
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: could anymore. I would leave. But it's times when I'm

692
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 1: very frustrated, like and I was like, I said, it's

693
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: because of people, and I'm just like, Yo, these fucking assholes,

694
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: like stupid ship. It'd be a lot of stupid ship

695
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 1: that go on on this job. I would just have

696
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: to ask you how that it is the corruption there,

697
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 1: because I mean, we always hear specting about Riker's allen.

698
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,760
Speaker 1: Yeah it's fight, so you hear all the bad stuff

699
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, hello, it's a good officer over here.

700
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: Why nobody don't ever story so funny They never do

701
00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: stories on good officers. No good stuff that we doing?

702
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: Um because it's juicy, right, I always say, Um, somebody

703
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 1: get me in touch with motor Scott and see how

704
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: I could put a little Kimera on my shop and

705
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: we will be a billionaires. It's girl is loving hip

706
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 1: hop basketball while it's everything everything combined. It'd be so juicy, girl,

707
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 1: you would have your popcorn. People wouldn't go to work

708
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: if you could. It would be it's so usually. I

709
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: mean you have you know, A number one thing is

710
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: all the relationships. Ye first, and I use that word loosely.

711
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 1: Relationships stuff good boy. One of the own ways that

712
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: see can become corrupted because I know about like the

713
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: whole cigarettes, Like I know you can make a lot

714
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: of money doing cigarettes, and I know about relationshiprettes, drugs, weapons, cigarettes, drugs, weapons,

715
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: those are probably things that you do have an end

716
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 1: they ever try to approach you. Right so early on

717
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: in my career, I'm on the floor and the guys

718
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: are like walking around it. Like I said, they do

719
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: nothing all day. And this guy they had like a um,

720
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's called skellies. Things drawn on the

721
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 1: floor like where I guess you pushed some buttons like

722
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: a game or something. They drew it on the floor, right,

723
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what it was. So like what

724
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: I said, when I came on and I was in

725
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: the house and areas with the guys. You would have

726
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: a conversation with it. It It may know whatever, like they'd

727
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 1: be showing you picture as something kids. Whatever. It is.

728
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: It's regular ship they people. So you you you're there

729
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 1: for eight hours, ye, they go sixteen sometimes a lot

730
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: of times. So you just talk us to these people whatever.

731
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, what's this on the floor. So

732
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 1: we have a normal conversation about the Skelly ship. He

733
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: breaking it down to me what it is. And he

734
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,399
Speaker 1: turns to me and he's like offers, says my name.

735
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: He like you ever thought about bringing something? Man? Hey, guys.

736
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: The PHG podcast is sponsored by eban A beautyb and

737
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: A Beauty is a beauty company that I found it

738
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:54,000
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739
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,200
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740
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 1: twenty five times with the proper care um. For more

741
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 1: infinet shouldn't visit e b O and e beauty dot

742
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,719
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743
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,120
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744
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,920
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745
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: really good reviews on them. So make sure you go

746
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 1: to the web website and a beauty used the code.

747
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 1: And let's get back to this week's episode. So the

748
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: guy we haveing a normal conversation about this Skelly thing,

749
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 1: this game or whatever, and he just turned to me

750
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: out the blue. We're not even talked about nothing else,

751
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: and he goes, yo, you ever thought about bringing something in.

752
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: I looked at him and I said, I get it.

753
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: This is what you're supposed to do, and you're gonna

754
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: you supposed to look into blink. I'm not at motherfucker.

755
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: I'm not in it. I understand, But just move on

756
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: to the next motherfucker that come in your path, because

757
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: that ain't me. And that's the only time in my

758
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: whole career, in my hand of God, that I had

759
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: somebody even attempt to ask me something like that. I

760
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,839
Speaker 1: don't know how they get the people to do it.

761
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 1: I don't know if these people are already corrupt. You

762
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 1: hear all types of stories, Oh she was a gang

763
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: member that you know, slipped through the cracks and she

764
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: was working with them. You hear people got threatened. They

765
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: say they threatened their family, They got their add just

766
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: because of my member. We live in the same neighborhood

767
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 1: that these people come from, you know what I'm saying,

768
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 1: and maybe somebody that know you or whatever the case

769
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,359
Speaker 1: may be. But I don't know how they get them

770
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: to do it, but they it happens. Why do you

771
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 1: think a lot of the CEOs are so easily corrupted? Though?

772
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 1: Like agreed or it gotta be something more to it.

773
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 1: I've heard both. I think it's fair and greed, fair

774
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 1: and greed, and it is already in their character because

775
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: neither one of them make me because of who I

776
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: am in my convictions. I don't care how broke I am,

777
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: and I don't care how how scared I am. I'm

778
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 1: not doing it. I'm more scared to go to jail

779
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: and get caught than I am of you doing something

780
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: to me. I just I'm not. I'm not. I'm not

781
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: with it. So I'm always boggled by that too, Like

782
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 1: how fuck they got them to bring in a pound away?

783
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: Like who? Like how the hell you got somebody to

784
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: bring in the scalpel? Like I just don't get it.

785
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 1: I just don't get it. But it happens. It happens

786
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 1: now to these relationships. Because when I heard and I

787
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:22,439
Speaker 1: saying the guy that's a cl He's like, yeah, it'd

788
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: be Matthew Clay the inmates, And I'm like what, oh, yeah,

789
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: that happens so and that can happen from fear right

790
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 1: because to be like if you don't do this, then

791
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this to you. Or I've heard that

792
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 1: it happens like they wind up doing it with one

793
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: and then somebody else found out that you wind up

794
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: having to do with him to keep him quiet. I've

795
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 1: heard all type of things. Sometimes they just these are

796
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: the same guys that walk in the street girls, so

797
00:40:54,239 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: maybe they attracted to them. They listened weight l Yeah,

798
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 1: I mean these are the drug dealers, the guys that's money.

799
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 1: When I first came on, they could wear like um,

800
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: regular clothes within reasons, so like white teas and jeans

801
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 1: and white sneakers. Now they have like these little Chinese

802
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 1: looking looking shoes. We call them pattackis, and they wear

803
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: uniforms like gray or brown and top and bottom. But

804
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: when I first came on, they can have a chain

805
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: as long as it has a religious piece on it.

806
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: So it could be a chain with a cross on it,

807
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: and the course could be huge endomons if he could

808
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: hold onto that ship and he's the man. He could

809
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 1: have one airring in his ear getting here because they're here,

810
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: course course course two dollars. So if he a dope

811
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: as Neig, that could get in the babbershop at least

812
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: once a week. Was he fled right, and you lifting

813
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 1: weights and you're eating good. They feed them healthy food.

814
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: Somebody may be attracted to that. I just always looking

815
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: at them as an inmate. You were in at the

816
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: end of the day, and how good I got a

817
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: job to do. I set out the dude, and you

818
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: would inmate that that you're not even attractive to me.

819
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: Once you got a number, you no longer attractive to me.

820
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: But it happens. But in relationships with orphans of the officers,

821
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: two girls would be so much drama. I mean, gazy

822
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 1: messing with girls, three or four girls and one facility

823
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. Girl will be drama. But I

824
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: also know it's another factor to this because y'all are

825
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: just like the inmates too, because if once y'all get stuck,

826
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: that's it. Y'all are their all day and all night, yes,

827
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 1: m hmm. Or if it's uh like I got stuck

828
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: when it was sandy like it was emergency what they

829
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: call a like a state of emergency, you want to alan,

830
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: so you get locked down. If it's a they think

831
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 1: it may be an escape, they locked down an Alan.

832
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 1: Nobody on, nobody off the bridge. There you there and

833
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: remember you on then allan. So if you don't have food,

834
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: if you got whatever you just did, what are your thoughts?

835
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 1: Not right? Because we've seen it so much agetive media. UM,

836
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,879
Speaker 1: I just think that a lot of the people when

837
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 1: you talk about negative media, when you talk about UM,

838
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 1: the way they change some of the laws and rules

839
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: and things that they do, it comes from people who

840
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 1: most of the time haven't done this job, have no

841
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: clue what it takes to do this job, haven't walked

842
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,200
Speaker 1: through this lifestyle, and they think that they know what's

843
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: going on, and they think they know what it takes,

844
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 1: and they just have no I've had no idea, none, girl,

845
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: like none at all, and you come on and you

846
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: just like, no, this is not what people think. This

847
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 1: is not at all. The only way you know, um

848
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 1: exactly what goes on on Zalen is only two ways,

849
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 1: I promise you is if you come as an officer

850
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 1: or you come as an inmate. Those those are the

851
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: only way you can truly, truly, truly, No, I don't

852
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 1: care if you even the commissioner of Riker's Atland is

853
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 1: not somebody that came through the ranks. I always said

854
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 1: the commissioner should be somebody who started as an officer,

855
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 1: went to captain death and came up through the brakes,

856
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:16,759
Speaker 1: because you understand and you know what it takes. You

857
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 1: know what the inmates needs, you know what the officers need.

858
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: You know exactly what it needs to in order for

859
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,760
Speaker 1: it to run. You know what I'm saying, Like it

860
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 1: is not never gonna be smooth as jail, but in

861
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:30,439
Speaker 1: order for it to run. So the negative just comes

862
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,839
Speaker 1: from not knowing and just assuming and think you know,

863
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 1: and probably hearing bad stories. Right so I could give

864
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: you I could have stayed on this podcast and give

865
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 1: you all the bad stuff. But if you got somebody

866
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: that's really going to give you an insight, you want

867
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: to talk about the bad girl. I used to come

868
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: to work and have a ball. I used to have

869
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: a really good time. We was a tight community, were

870
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: party together, we stood by each other, we worked collectively.

871
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,800
Speaker 1: It felt like a real family. You understand what I'm saying,

872
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: and it was a job, and this is a tough job.

873
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: But the time I came on, like I said, we

874
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 1: I had people that really showed me this job, was

875
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 1: really invested in this job. It has changed since, but

876
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: that's where all the negative stuff comes from. Well, my

877
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 1: last question, and I want you to answer this and

878
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: from two different perspectives. So the question is what are

879
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: your thoughts on the Collegue brother story? And the reason

880
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: why I'm asking you this For those who have wanted

881
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 1: the documentary is about the the young black boy. He

882
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 1: was sixteen, He went straight to writers Alan over a backpack.

883
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: And when I was watching the documentary, I was just like,

884
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: I mean, it really like broke my heart, right, And

885
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: I think another reason when I broke my heart because

886
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: I'm just like, damn, like when you watch these documentaries

887
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: and like writers and certain jails, it's not the black

888
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: people in those jails, right, and the like really affected

889
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 1: me because it's like, damn, like these are that could

890
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 1: have been my brother or something, So like how does

891
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 1: that make What are your thoughts on me? From a

892
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 1: CEO perspective? Um, from a c old perspective. I watched it.

893
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: I did watch the story. I watched it, and I

894
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 1: watched it and said, um, something happened. As far as

895
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:19,479
Speaker 1: the reason why the officer reacted the way that he did,

896
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 1: when one part where he was like fighting with the

897
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: officer or whatever the case, maybe it's a reason why

898
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: he was in protective custody for so long, right, and

899
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 1: and not protective custody where he was in like the

900
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: being area when you buy yourself or whatever it may be.

901
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:38,800
Speaker 1: He had to be doing stuff in order for those

902
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 1: things to happen, right, So we just don't go, you're

903
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: an asshole, we don't like you. We're gonna throw you

904
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,439
Speaker 1: in the cell because we don't like you. He might

905
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: have been doing stuff to get into the being Like

906
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: I just said, the guy assaulted me to be by

907
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: himself because he was getting beat up all the time,

908
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,319
Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. There was reactions from

909
00:46:57,360 --> 00:47:02,080
Speaker 1: the officers from his action that I saw that clearly

910
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: because I'm like, yeah, we just don't start fighting people.

911
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:08,879
Speaker 1: That just doesn't happen. Something happened, and so yeah, I'm

912
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: able to look at it a different where people are

913
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: probably go, why are they doing that to him? Why

914
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 1: they Oh, they're so fucked up? That's what they do.

915
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 1: They just assort people. We don't the massive, the mass

916
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,320
Speaker 1: majority of officers don't. I don't want to fight most officers.

917
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:23,680
Speaker 1: I don't want to come to work and just fight.

918
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,720
Speaker 1: I'm not just coming to work to just punch somebody

919
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: in their face, because I know it's a whole bunch

920
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:29,879
Speaker 1: of stuff that happens after that, Right, even if it's

921
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: the little worst thing about writing a report about what

922
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 1: I have, a lot of officers don't even want to

923
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: write reports, you know what I'm saying. So we don't

924
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 1: get to just punch people in the face and then

925
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: they we throw them in the cell and then it

926
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: just goes away. If there's a whole process that happens

927
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,439
Speaker 1: after that, that none time out of ten officers don't

928
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:49,040
Speaker 1: want to do. So if we're going through that, something happened,

929
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 1: and it might have been from karlife wanting to be

930
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: in a place where he felt safe and protective, protected.

931
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 1: A lot of gods wants to be by themselves, but

932
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: Jell is mostly not by yourself, so that might have

933
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 1: been his angle, but I don't know. My second question

934
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 1: is from my mother's perspective, How did you feel from

935
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 1: a mother's perspective. I felt like the system felt him

936
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: before he got to write This Island. The system felled

937
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: him right. And so a lot of the times that

938
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,800
Speaker 1: things happen I see on the news, or things happened

939
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: on the street right before my eyes. A lot of

940
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 1: the times the system gets away with a lot of

941
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: things because we just don't know right. We don't know

942
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: the laws, we don't know our rights, we don't know

943
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: what we can and can. We haven't trained our children

944
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: right what to say, what not to say, what to do,

945
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 1: what not to do, and so the system plays on that.

946
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 1: If do you think that it's just correction officers that's corrupt,

947
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: You have d a's that's corrupt. You have lawyers that's

948
00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: come up, right, you have judges that's come up. You

949
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: have and not even corrupt. They just don't care. You're

950
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 1: just a number. They want to get done with you.

951
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: They it's Friday, they're thinking about the vacation they're about

952
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 1: to take. So we're gonna not because part of his

953
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: story was that they just kept not him his case right,

954
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: They kept he kept coming, showing up to court and

955
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 1: then prolonging his case. Prolonging his case was made him

956
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: stay on an Alan longer and longer. Right, the system

957
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: fell to him at some point. So as a mother's

958
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: point of view, I was saddened by that because I

959
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: am a mother. I do have a young black child,

960
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: but I but because of this job. That's how my

961
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: job has class played a role in me being a parent. Right,

962
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 1: I'm harder on my kids because I'm like, Oh, you

963
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 1: don't want to go to jail. You don't want to

964
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 1: go to writ his allot, you're understaying if the cops

965
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: stop you, Uh, this is what you're supposed to say,

966
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing, right, you don't admit to nothing, you know whatever.

967
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: Like it's certain ways that because of this job, I'm

968
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: a little harder on my kids. I'm more aware of

969
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: other things that you see it our communities unfortunately. Yeah,

970
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: and I work in yeah. Yeah, so I work with

971
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: d as, I work with police, I work with It's

972
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: how somebody could get lost. That's what happened with colleague.

973
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: He got lost in the system for a book back,

974
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He got lost in the system.

975
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 1: So he was felled time and time again before anything

976
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: ever happened with c he was felled well, and it

977
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: happens all the time. I don't want to say thank

978
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 1: you so much for taking time out to record me.

979
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,959
Speaker 1: I think this was an amazing episode. I'm so glad

980
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: that I was able to find CEO and it's coming

981
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: from a woman's respect. And if you have any questions, comments, concerns,

982
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 1: I just want to say hi, please email me and

983
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: hello at the first my homegirl dot com. And until

984
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: next time, y'all. Later, thank you, I had a good times.

985
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,360
Speaker 1: Thank you. And if I'm more years, we sell Brandy.

986
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 1: Is he retiring? Yeah? Soon soon, girl, We're gonna have

987
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: another another episode about that. What is she doing now?

988
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 1: Because now she should be chilling. Yeah, I I'm gonna

989
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:17,720
Speaker 1: have a whole lot alright. Later later