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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 1: talked back. What's up, y'all? Welcome to a new episode

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Speaker 1: of We Talked Back. It's your girl a j Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: it's Tam Bam. I love y'all, and I'm hungover as fuck.

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Speaker 1: When you had a good weekend? What the funk you

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Speaker 1: had going on? I um went out. I was just

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Speaker 1: supposed to be having a brunch with my baby mama,

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Speaker 1: which is my godmama's child walked home, the babysitter came,

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Speaker 1: and then we went to a club and we turned

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Speaker 1: up like some bitches who don't have their children for

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Speaker 1: the night. Child almost went to jail and everything. Len, Wait,

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Speaker 1: how the funk y'all almost went to jail? Do you?

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Speaker 1: I girl? I know? But who was driving? We have

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Speaker 1: the gift that I said less uber, let's not because

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Speaker 1: we just want to get home. When we're ready to

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Speaker 1: get home, we don't want to wait. I was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, and then my home girls side swapped the

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Speaker 1: car a part car? How you hit a park car bage? Wait?

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Speaker 1: So who call it? Wait? The police was outside. The

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Speaker 1: police was outside across the street and the right so

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Speaker 1: I got I was getting out that I got out

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Speaker 1: the car to take to walk my home girl in

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Speaker 1: because she was kind of tipsy, so are drunk rather,

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Speaker 1: so I was walking her in the other friend like

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Speaker 1: she's backing up in all years out inside of somebody's

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Speaker 1: fucking car. Like I walked. I keep walking like because

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Speaker 1: I know the police is right there right quick. I

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Speaker 1: was walking and tended to looking straight, like I'm driving

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Speaker 1: with my hands on and I was like, oh ship,

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Speaker 1: bits drive off, bits drive off, and this bit drove

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Speaker 1: off right. But then she came back. I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: the fun? She's like, I can't get you. I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: dumb man, she should have kept going. I should have

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Speaker 1: kept going. So but the police was cool. He just

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Speaker 1: gave her a ticket. Oh he didn't do it, but

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Speaker 1: no he did not. But she had her big old

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Speaker 1: titties out, and I think he was like focused on

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Speaker 1: them titties. So shout out to the titties, man, titties

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Speaker 1: be saving yes from jail. Almost got it in Charlotte

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Speaker 1: one time. Girl driving and as soon as the call

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Speaker 1: told me, I was like, sir, I was trying to

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Speaker 1: take my shoes off. But I was so drunk. He

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Speaker 1: was like, so you wouldn't mind taking breathalyzing. My ship

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Speaker 1: was right under the limit because what if what if

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Speaker 1: I said no? Like, maybe he would take me to jail.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what the fund to do and I

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Speaker 1: was drunk. Right, we gotta stop doing that. We were here,

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Speaker 1: We talked back. We do not promote drinking and driving. Okay, guys, uber, listen,

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Speaker 1: I drive, list man, just me up. I'll take you

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Speaker 1: safely where you need to go. Very well, Hey, that's

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to do. I wanted to get a list.

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing that ship no more. Me and I

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Speaker 1: always going it ain't always going in like that when

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Speaker 1: y'all made it through, nigger made it. I don't do it.

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Speaker 1: We're cool, don't do it. I'm not going to. I

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Speaker 1: can't listen. All right, So we have very special guests

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Speaker 1: on We talked Back today. Listen, we have a Dalon Lane.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people have been asking about Dalon Lane.

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Speaker 1: He was a guest on our very our second episode. Um,

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Speaker 1: no church in a while, No church in a while,

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Speaker 1: A long time ago, right, So he's back and he

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Speaker 1: has this beautiful life in him. No church in a while.

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Speaker 1: If you guys, didn't listen at the time, no Church

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Speaker 1: in the wild. We talked to Dylan about his open marriage.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, wait, what do you say her name? Oh? Sorry?

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Speaker 1: Sorry ha ha. You know what Haley Lane sounds like.

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Speaker 1: You'd be like on the Suicide Squad, don't you know?

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Speaker 1: We call her Haleien because she's an alien. She's from

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Speaker 1: out of this world, that's what that's what we call her.

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Speaker 1: They don't make them like. I'm a very her point

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Speaker 1: of view on this topic because she's lived obviously my side,

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Speaker 1: but bringing her side in so that I can kind

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Speaker 1: of get my justification where it's like everybody like people

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Speaker 1: think that it's like, oh, you try to manipulate your

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Speaker 1: wife or your girlfriend and fiance into one in this

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Speaker 1: open relationship. It's like, well, how about we let her speak,

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Speaker 1: let her speak, get her side of it. Because listen,

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Speaker 1: Dylan spoke very highly of his wife. Everybody loved that too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I just listened to the last episode before this so

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Speaker 1: that I can get it fresh in my brain. It's

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Speaker 1: he's so good with the words, he's so sweet and

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Speaker 1: does speak very highly embarrassing. Well, there's reasons if there

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Speaker 1: was a really like listen, straight shooter, Like, if my

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Speaker 1: wife was trash, she wouldn't be my wife because I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, yo, you're trash, and I would leave, like,

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Speaker 1: because that's how this ship works. Like and if and

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Speaker 1: if I'm trash, it's her job to see the truth

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Speaker 1: of what I am as not being up to par

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Speaker 1: and then leave my mass. So when I speak of her,

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Speaker 1: I speak truthfully and hopefully she's doing the same, and

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Speaker 1: I think she is. Obviously we do have her flaws,

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Speaker 1: but we accept those flaws. That's the that's the key

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Speaker 1: is to actually be like, Okay, yo, I'm a person,

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Speaker 1: you're a person. What are our flaws? These are my flaws,

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Speaker 1: here's my strengths. Now let's do something about this and

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Speaker 1: work with this and then grow grow together on this

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Speaker 1: by helping each other with each other's flaws and then

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Speaker 1: also like continuing to nourish and water our strength so

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Speaker 1: that we can actually grow as people. And this is

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Speaker 1: part of that. This has been part of that, Like,

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Speaker 1: this has been a major part of it because Rome

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Speaker 1: was growing past it, because we've gone through it for

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Speaker 1: so long, like we haven't even been exploring it because yo, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this will be interesting. It will almost take me kind

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Speaker 1: of back because I really haven't been delving into that

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Speaker 1: world lust, so this will be a refresher, right, And

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Speaker 1: I think that's the misconception A lot of people have

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Speaker 1: what open relationships, And what I told Dylan on that

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Speaker 1: episode was to me, an open relationship is just open

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Speaker 1: lines of communication. Like I want to always be able

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Speaker 1: to be myself with whoever I'm with and whatever whatever

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Speaker 1: you know, however I am, I want to I don't

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Speaker 1: want to have to tweak myself at all for anybody.

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Speaker 1: And because I don't require that, yeah, I only require

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Speaker 1: have been a time of just self discovery, figuring out

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Speaker 1: what I want to do with my life, who I am,

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Speaker 1: what excites me, what I'm passionate about, and having a

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Speaker 1: partner that accepts me for who I am and we'll

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Speaker 1: go along that ride with me. That's really what I've

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Speaker 1: been wanting and I have in him, and I know

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Speaker 1: that we've been able to explore even the tough things,

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Speaker 1: even like you know other people. So so if we

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Speaker 1: can do that, we can do anything. Yes, you have

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Speaker 1: to literally remove your ego from your relationship in order

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Speaker 1: to let your partner. We're acting the parts to dissolve

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Speaker 1: our egos anyway. So what happened was this was like

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Speaker 1: a natural result of it because are like we literally me,

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Speaker 1: I will say me. I had built an identity around

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Speaker 1: this open relationship as part of my ego, and like,

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Speaker 1: once you actively like I know that, Tammy. We talked

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Speaker 1: a little bit about like spiritual practices and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: When you actually start to do that stuff in practice,

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Speaker 1: it reveals to you where you're trapped in your ego.

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Speaker 1: And one of my biggest ego t apps was building

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Speaker 1: an identity around an open relationship. It was literally it

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Speaker 1: was letting my ego survived. It was like I need

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Speaker 1: to be able to go and funk other people because

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Speaker 1: like if I don't, I lose my identity. But then

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Speaker 1: you actually start to dissolve that and try to dissolve it,

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Speaker 1: and now you're like, WHOA, A major part of my

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Speaker 1: identity is the fact that I want to go and

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Speaker 1: be separate from my wife and funk other people. What

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Speaker 1: kind of suffering is this creating for my ego? And

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Speaker 1: what kind of suffering is it creating for her? But

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Speaker 1: also her willingness to accept that and be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: it's cool, work through your problems. We're going to get

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Speaker 1: out on the other side of this safely and together,

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Speaker 1: and you won't have to do that stuff. And then

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Speaker 1: if we still do it together and explore it and

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Speaker 1: have fun every now and then, whatever. But my whole

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Speaker 1: identity isn't built around it. So I was preserving my

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Speaker 1: ego and I wasn't. My lust was never really my thing.

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Speaker 1: But I dated somebody from senior year of high school

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Speaker 1: and then all through college, so I was in a

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Speaker 1: serious relationship with somebody for five years. And college for

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Speaker 1: me was a huge time of like waking up to

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Speaker 1: new ideas, meeting people that were different than me because

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Speaker 1: I came from a small town and then I was

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Speaker 1: suddenly somewhere where people were doing all kinds of different things,

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Speaker 1: so I wanted to explore. I felt like I didn't

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Speaker 1: get a chance to explore that side of myself before

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Speaker 1: meeting Dylan, So once we did meet, I was still

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Speaker 1: in that space of life, I want to look up

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Speaker 1: with people and have fun and like go on dates

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Speaker 1: and just like do whatever I want. And he was

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Speaker 1: more coming from a place of like, I'm not ready allowed.

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready to let go of this identity yet,

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Speaker 1: and I still want to explore this. So we were

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Speaker 1: coming at it from different angles. But but I feel

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Speaker 1: like I kind of got a lot of out of

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Speaker 1: the system. I've I've already explored when I need to explore.

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Speaker 1: I'm still open to whatever might come to me in

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Speaker 1: the future, but I'm no longer actively trying to make

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Speaker 1: that happen. Tell tell them how the paper that you

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Speaker 1: in college before you ever met me, yes soted you

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Speaker 1: manifested him. I think it was my junior of college.

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Speaker 1: I was in a research writing class and our teacher

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Speaker 1: was really cool. She was like this old, like hippie,

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Speaker 1: really chill, fun lady, and she would start our classes

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Speaker 1: by giving us a topic and we would write write

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Speaker 1: about it for a minute, and then we go around

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Speaker 1: the room and share what we wrote. And so the

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Speaker 1: topic one day was cheating, so we all took a minute,

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Speaker 1: we wrote about how we felt about cheating, and then

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Speaker 1: we went around the room and shared. And I remember

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Speaker 1: my my take on it was like, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: porn and strip clubs, Why do you need to actually

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Speaker 1: stick your dick in something? Why can't you just go

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Speaker 1: watch this and then do it yourself? Like I don't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really understand like, why do you have to

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Speaker 1: go physically made it happen. But as we went around

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Speaker 1: the room, people were sharing that either they were in

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Speaker 1: an relationship or they knew somebody in an open relationship,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like my mind was blown, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, what is this? So we had to

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Speaker 1: write a research paper on cheating and I ended up

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Speaker 1: researching open relationships and I read all about different people's

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Speaker 1: experiences with open relationships and I was like what. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: I'm still with this guy that I was with for

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Speaker 1: five years through college and he would have not been

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Speaker 1: open to this idea at all. So I researched this.

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Speaker 1: By the time I got to the end of the paper, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this like makes a lot of sense that people should

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Speaker 1: totally do this and try it out, because I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it seems to be working for people. But but I

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Speaker 1: swallowed that I held that broke up with him, and

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Speaker 1: then I was like, all right, now I'm ready to

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Speaker 1: Like early in our relationship and we first met was

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Speaker 1: like like really early, like within a month, I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: we could like tire together, Like, but how do how

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Speaker 1: do we get to that stage? I don't know? And

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Speaker 1: in the meantime, like, there's no way I'm only having

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Speaker 1: sex with one person, because I'm literally read that I was.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to, I want to, and she had the

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Speaker 1: background you wanted. I didn't have wanted. I think I was.

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Speaker 1: I was the third day. I had like a one

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Speaker 1: night stand the night and was ready ready. He was ready.

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Speaker 1: Damn it, he was ready right before. But wait, did

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Speaker 1: you break up with him so that you couldn't there

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Speaker 1: a problem? When she wrote the paper, it was I

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Speaker 1: knew I was growing beyond where he was, and it

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Speaker 1: was only a matter of time before I was going

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Speaker 1: to I need to go my own way. And you know,

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Speaker 1: he like didn't have his driver's license, he had never

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Speaker 1: had a job, he had graduated college two years before me,

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Speaker 1: and was living at home with his mom. Never was

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Speaker 1: taking any initiative to do any of these things. So

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Speaker 1: I was just kind of over all of that and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to. That was assignment a little home and hers.

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Speaker 1: You can't lie about it, you know, yes, exactly for it. Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we we've got that man like what like three hours.

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Speaker 1: If we hadn't gone out price, it would have probably

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Speaker 1: taken like twenty seconds. I'm not that seconds. Hey, we

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Speaker 1: were both Like I was in a new city. I

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Speaker 1: was like I was standing around like I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what to do. And everybody that I met in person

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Speaker 1: in the little city that I moved to, like they

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Speaker 1: were all they were already like wiped up. And I'm

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Speaker 1: like seeing all these hot chicks and I'm alone. And

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Speaker 1: then my buddy, Yo, I'm dead serious. I was literally

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Speaker 1: making e Harmony account swear to sucking it up. And

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Speaker 1: my buddy's like, Yo, why don't you do Tinder? And

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Speaker 1: I was like the fun is Tinder? Did tend? I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is this is insane.

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Speaker 1: There's a roster here, this is a roster. I was like,

246
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Speaker 1: this is they literally make curate the roster for you.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, Yo, this is crazy. So I started

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Speaker 1: dating people and then when we had hung out, I

249
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Speaker 1: was like I was dating like two people like actively.

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Speaker 1: The one wouldn't hook up at me unless we were

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Speaker 1: like boyfriend girlfriend. And I remember straight up being like, Yo,

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Speaker 1: this girl she doesn't want to she won't hook up

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Speaker 1: with me, like unless I'm her boyfriend. And I was

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Speaker 1: basically like, yo, I still want to hang out with you, though,

255
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Speaker 1: but I want to hook up with her, and how

256
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Speaker 1: do you like. At first, I was like okay, you know,

257
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Speaker 1: like I just want to hook up, so that won't me.

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Speaker 1: But then I went home and I talked to my

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Speaker 1: brother about it, and I was like this dude like

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Speaker 1: wants to ask someone to be his girlfriend, but still

261
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Speaker 1: fuck me, Like what should I do? He was like,

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Speaker 1: you sound like a shitty person. I was that shitty person.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry here, I'm not wanting anything. And then I

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Speaker 1: got that pussy and I was like, not worth it.

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Speaker 1: I swear to god. She was hot as fun. But

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Speaker 1: then when I went out, I mean we could get

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Speaker 1: into the details of it, but when I went down

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Speaker 1: on that thing, I was like, all right, it was

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Speaker 1: over set of god. Swear of God. And I was

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Speaker 1: like this ain't it. And then like literally I've never

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Speaker 1: come out with her again. This was taking place over time,

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Speaker 1: so like, as I kept hanging out with her and

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Speaker 1: I was hanging out with the other girl, and then

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Speaker 1: I ended up actually hooking up with this girl before

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Speaker 1: we were boyfriend girlfriend. I was like, wait, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to do all this stuff with these girls, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: but here's this woman right here that's like she's she's

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Speaker 1: actually accepting all of this, like whoa, Like, wait, maybe

279
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Speaker 1: we're actually building an actual relationship here. And then we

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Speaker 1: just kept being more and more open, Like the first

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Speaker 1: night we were talking about politics and religion and I

282
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Speaker 1: was super atheist at the time. My dad was crazy

283
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Speaker 1: and weird, and I told all these crazy stories about

284
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Speaker 1: my dad, and we were just very forthcoming, and so

285
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Speaker 1: this natural relationship developed. And then it was like, wait, yeah,

286
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Speaker 1: neither of us had expectations, very honest, like there was nothing.

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Speaker 1: There was no reason not to be because and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't like that those other girls. I was putting the

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00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 1: mask on where I was like, oh, I want you

290
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Speaker 1: to like me, so I can smash, we can hang out,

291
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Speaker 1: and so like I can have a companion in a

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Speaker 1: new city. Meanwhile I have the fucking like literally the

293
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Speaker 1: goat of all women, of all women, of all women,

294
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Speaker 1: another woman. And then and I'm like wow. But then

295
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 1: it's like my ego was still so identified with sex.

296
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Speaker 1: But it's like we just had this connection that transcended

297
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Speaker 1: sex that we knew was gonna we had to let

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Speaker 1: play out, but we didn't know it at the time

299
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 1: how it was going to play out, but we trusted

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Speaker 1: We trusted each other based on the relationship that we

301
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Speaker 1: had built, and then we trusted the fact that maybe

302
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 1: we could go beyond that at some point. We didn't

303
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 1: know that at the time, but like as we started

304
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Speaker 1: to yeah, we were just letting it unfolded. It really

305
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 1: wasn't any pressure of like where is this going? What

306
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,359
Speaker 1: are we gonna do? It was just like we're enjoying

307
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,119
Speaker 1: our time, We're enjoying each other. We can be open

308
00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 1: and honest, like let's just keep chuck it all. Yeah,

309
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:23,200
Speaker 1: sounds like a great start. This is what always people

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00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,320
Speaker 1: are like, wait, especially like talking to people on like

311
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 1: Tinder and Bumble, and then like all the dates that

312
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,560
Speaker 1: ended up going on, it's like how, why, what when?

313
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Speaker 1: And it was like, well, really the most important thing

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Speaker 1: was the fact that at the beginning, and this is

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Speaker 1: what I incur I probably said on the last time,

316
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 1: but it's like at the beginning, when you are single

317
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,879
Speaker 1: and you are dating, be as open and honest and

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00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:46,399
Speaker 1: forward with everything and then let the person react and

319
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:51,360
Speaker 1: if they react poorly, fuck them. You're single and dating,

320
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 1: Like fuck them, you just told them your truth that

321
00:17:54,520 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 1: they're negatively respond whatever. A lot of time meant especially

322
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,919
Speaker 1: because I mean, women don't know. I think we've learned

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00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,639
Speaker 1: to like not tell it youth sometime because men can't

324
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:09,360
Speaker 1: handle it. To me, men the ego can't handle your truth, right,

325
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: So men, oftentimes you really don't meant you meet his representative.

326
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 1: And then once you give the now you're meeting the

327
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 1: real me. If people would just be honest day one,

328
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,840
Speaker 1: and you give people the opportunity to put you know,

329
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 1: don't put my life in your hands. Give me the

330
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:31,840
Speaker 1: opportunity to decide what to enjoy period in the open

331
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Speaker 1: relationship is that people that I have met, I've been

332
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,239
Speaker 1: very upfront about, like, hey, I have a husband and

333
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,480
Speaker 1: this is what we do, and we're open in this way.

334
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 1: And by being so honest about that, it's like they

335
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,480
Speaker 1: have no reason to be dishonest to me because they

336
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:51,360
Speaker 1: already know, like I'm down and I have a relationship,

337
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: Like there's nothing that I'm looking for from you other

338
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:58,160
Speaker 1: than yourself. So I really I feel like I've met

339
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 1: very authentic versions of people that way. And age it's

340
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,199
Speaker 1: your point, You're like you didn't want to talk, are you?

341
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 1: It's hard to be forthcoming with men because you're literally

342
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 1: meeting their representative and that's why I like everything that

343
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 1: I just said, I feel like applies more to the man,

344
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 1: because the man is like the will and the woman

345
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 1: is the way. And it's like you want to marry

346
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 1: the will in the way, so the will, like I'm

347
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 1: out looking like as a man in the dating pool,

348
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 1: it's like my will. I have to manifest like the

349
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,120
Speaker 1: best version of a man, a male's will, and then

350
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 1: the way will open up. So it's not up necessarily

351
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:40,399
Speaker 1: to you to bring forth the the truth because like

352
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 1: what you said, you have to kind of be apprehensive

353
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,679
Speaker 1: with men because you're meeting their representative. It's like on

354
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 1: the man to just go into the into the dating

355
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 1: pool and be like this is who I am as

356
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,359
Speaker 1: a man, and like you can be the way to

357
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 1: my will or you can like leave it. But like

358
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: if men come in with this weak ass, lying ass

359
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 1: will yet, but that's what you like, you're not gonna get.

360
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 1: You're not going to get the queen. You can't get

361
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: the queen. I'm not acting like the king, but sometimes

362
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: I don't even want to. I just want the queen. Listen,

363
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 1: look at it, look at my collectionously it's like for

364
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 1: me and it's not even quality pussy. It's just a

365
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: bunch of I was listening to the last episode and

366
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 1: he was saying like he would just swipe right, swepe right,

367
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: like one after the other, one after the other. And

368
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, if you don't have a nice face, if

369
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 1: you don't look like a genuine person, if you don't

370
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,399
Speaker 1: have a buy some type of criteria tells me anything

371
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: about you, I'm swiping left. I don't. I don't. I'm

372
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: not trying to sleep with random Like, yeah, I'm attracted

373
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,679
Speaker 1: to who has a decent personality and who looks like

374
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: a genuine person. So that's like really narrow. See, that's

375
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 1: what most men would call cheating. So men would call

376
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 1: that cheating because of the way women go about their selection.

377
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 1: So it's not like we're gonna have these a bunch

378
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 1: of random men, quality men, quality women. I don't want

379
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,439
Speaker 1: him to go shack up with some random in the street.

380
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 1: Like and I noticed that when I when I come

381
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 1: on and the thing is like this is the thing

382
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: I've done that, And then like what it does is

383
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,199
Speaker 1: like first of all, even after like you get what

384
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: you want, like you feel like ship and then like

385
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 1: you also feel like you literally just gave yourself away

386
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,360
Speaker 1: to like the lowest bidder and like it literally makes

387
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: you something, like you literally feel and it's like, yeah,

388
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 1: because nobody else wanted those pussies. That was because they

389
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 1: would have already been scooped up. So if they're if

390
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 1: they're like I'm it's like I'm looking for like the

391
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: quickest pussy, but it's like the quickest pussy is like

392
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: the least quality pussy. Hanging me. Just grab that love

393
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 1: that you just said that, because yes, it really is.

394
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, let me take this apple right here,

395
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 1: it's right in front of me. Whereas like, but it's

396
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 1: so funny. It's so funny because like with her, I

397
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 1: got it quick, which is so funny, like because it's

398
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 1: like it kind of contradicts itself. So when I said

399
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 1: earlier it might have seconds, that was a lie. But

400
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: we also hit it off very quickly, and it felt

401
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,360
Speaker 1: like I was also in the mindset of like, if

402
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,160
Speaker 1: this works out and goes there, I'm down. And it

403
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: did and it felt natural and I was. I was there.

404
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: But if you would have been to some loser, I

405
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 1: would have went home. Hold on, dam let's stay some bills.

406
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: Was it a time especially in the beginning where you

407
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: feel like this ship ain't it and that this is

408
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 1: hurting and I don't like it. I'm thinking about like exiting.

409
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: Have you ever felt like that? There were definitely moments

410
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 1: throughout a relationship where I was like fuck, like yeah,

411
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 1: that that made me jealous. I don't know if I

412
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,960
Speaker 1: like that when that happened, but it almost it always

413
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: just led to conversation and we can meet. I'll come

414
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: home on like a Friday night after working all week

415
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yo, look at this girl. She said

416
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 1: she's down to fucking and she's just like, Yo, that

417
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 1: girl is really hot. Like you like, have you have

418
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,400
Speaker 1: to like you have to go, like you have to go.

419
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 1: You might be a hale because I'd be like that

420
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: bitch looked like she got hurt. Stay that's okay, but

421
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 1: all right, So to go off of the exit thing.

422
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: I remember there was a time in like two thousand

423
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: sevo eighteen where I was like starting a business and

424
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 1: I was like, I felt that there was a chance

425
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: that there was going to be a lot of opportunities

426
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: and I might be traveling and I was like listen,

427
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, like, how do you actually feel because

428
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,439
Speaker 1: like I could literally be gone for like weekends and

429
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: I could be smashing people like are you sure? Like

430
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 1: I remember specifically we're up in our bedroom and I'm like, yo,

431
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: this literally could be like this, and she's just like

432
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: it's cool. Shut the funk up, like stop projecting your

433
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: insecurities on me, and like, yo, I'm here. Also the

434
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: type of person that, like when we were in a

435
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: long distance relationship, that was great. I like to have

436
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: my space. I like to be oh, I like to

437
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: do my own thing. I'd like to have my space

438
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: if I don't have a lone time, like I start

439
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: to feel get out, get yours out here. She ended

440
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: a football game yesterday. Can I just like I'm going

441
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 1: to the room upstairs. I'm definitely like that. So I

442
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: think this is like the perfect the perfect thing because

443
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: then we're both able to be individuals but also accept

444
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: each other, love each other, support each other through our challenges,

445
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: and then keep being able to be individuals and come

446
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: back together. So I just know that his his main

447
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: struggle is with lust, and he describes it as a

448
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,560
Speaker 1: struggle for him. For me, it was like it was

449
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: an exciting opportunity, like like a discovery time with my life.

450
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: For him, it's more something thing that he wants. He

451
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 1: knows he struggles wants to get over. So I'm here

452
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 1: to support that. And I understand that that's something he

453
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: does want to go through and struggle through. And I'm

454
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,719
Speaker 1: and like this, I know it's a struggle because if

455
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 1: I want to set it down, sometimes I can't, and

456
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: it like overtakes me where it's like I literally just

457
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: have to take action to do this thing. But it's

458
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: like I know that it's not good to do it

459
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: all the time. It's better to attract it than to

460
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 1: seek it. Like I call it like the dog. It's like,

461
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: if somebody wants to invite my dog out, that's better

462
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: than me just running around as the dog trying to

463
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 1: get people to do what I want. I couldn't. I

464
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: didn't have that patience to just like attract attract. I

465
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 1: wanted to go and will it into existence and make

466
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,640
Speaker 1: it happen. And what I've noticed is that it would

467
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: take its way attention from other things. It would drain

468
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: my energy. It would drain my energy for her for

469
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: finance ship like I'd be spending money on dates just

470
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: to get some fucking pussy it's like this is a

471
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 1: strong This isn't this isn't like fun like it was.

472
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: It was the whole thing. Well yeah that's true, that's true,

473
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: but it was like it was any wet hole. But

474
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 1: it's like the reason it's it's like she sees that

475
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 1: she's she knows that it's not like something where I'm

476
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: like trying to take advantage or she knows that I'm like, ye,

477
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 1: literally struggling here. Yeah, it's not anything personal, but it's

478
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: it's gotten better, Like it's it's like and it's because

479
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 1: of like our communication through these struggles and like having

480
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: her come home late when I didn't, when my date

481
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: blew me off for our or her date she doesn't

482
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: want to go or whatever, and then I go out

483
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 1: and come home late, and then she's distant and like

484
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: we just feel the attention, and it's like this is

485
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: like genuinely something that's not easy, and like we have

486
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 1: to grow through. We have to communicate about it, we

487
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: have to express our feelings, we have to share, we

488
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 1: have to communicate, we have to share. It hurts talk

489
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: about anyway, and then all of a sudden, like starts

490
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: to fall away and you start to have a really

491
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: good foundation that you built through, like I call it

492
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: growing through your ship. That's depleting energy. That would be

493
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 1: my only problem in an open relationship because I would

494
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 1: be down for there. All of that ship sounds really

495
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: good honestly, except for you spending your money on this

496
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: a bit. It would have to be exactly pussy. It

497
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: would have to be that always did that. That always

498
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 1: has been a thing that I'm like because I feel

499
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: like he's very conscious of his finances, very conscious of

500
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 1: his spending, so like we'll go out and we only

501
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: want to spend this much. But then like, but last weekend,

502
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 1: you just bought this girl that you don't even know,

503
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 1: like six drinks to say that this is this is

504
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: an this is direct experience I had. I remember taking

505
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: a girl out. Meanwhile she's out at it was a

506
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: nice ass place with the dude buying the whole thing.

507
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 1: So I'm like, yo, she's getting hurt. He's like, he's

508
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: got my back. He's buying all her food, all her drinks,

509
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 1: wining and dining her. Mean while I could go and

510
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 1: do this. So I'm like, all right, that ship cancels out.

511
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: That's true. Maybe that's not exactly I don't feel that

512
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 1: the only place you can take that buses Chick fil

513
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: A on Sunday. No place. I don't want to expect

514
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: anyone to buy me a drink either, Like I always

515
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 1: offered to buy my own drinks. I mean they usually

516
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: will buy it anyways, but I don't know, I feel,

517
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm like, I don't want you to

518
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: think that you're buying. Yeah, I'll buy my own drinks.

519
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: If I like you that I'll come home with you.

520
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: I like when hey, I need I need something a packard.

521
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: I mean they always, but there has been plenty of

522
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 1: girls and women. There's been plenty of women that buy

523
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: me drinks and buy me food and have done that,

524
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: and like I've that ship was always like hell yeah,

525
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: hell yeah, you can buy your own drink, thank you.

526
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: I'll have to take the ship out of my budget. Ladies.

527
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: You know we talked back, do not promote buying drinks,

528
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: and this is not part of our mission. It's actually

529
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: the exact office because if I pay for something, that's

530
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: only because I don't want you to expect nothing afterwards.

531
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 1: Them always setting though, I don't want there to be

532
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: any expectations, Like you know that I'm in an open relationship,

533
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: but that is not This is not like a free pass,

534
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: Like just because I'm out with you doesn't mean you

535
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: get to get in my parents. And I think that

536
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: that's something that happened. Has happened a lot where I'll

537
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: be open and talking about the fact that I'm in

538
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: an open relationship and people think that that's an invitation,

539
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: Like no, like just just sharing something about my life,

540
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: This is not an invitation. The thought process for me,

541
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: if we're in open relationship, what else we gonna do

542
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: but fun? Like that's how I would see, Like I'm

543
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: not trying to build nothing with you. So if we're

544
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: getting together, fucking or not, so then there's that there's

545
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: my thing, because that's what I was saying earlier, like

546
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 1: isn't to me. It's not always about sex with somebody else.

547
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,239
Speaker 1: It could be like about access to different things that

548
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: the person you would never have access to. You know,

549
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: I have realized for me, I don't get much out

550
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: of having sex with a stranger like there's I did

551
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: for a little while it was a discovery exactly fun

552
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: like I was in that phase of my life, but

553
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: now I'm just like you learned somebody else that was

554
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: your pussy, Like that's how I feel. Yeah, yeah, you

555
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: said that on the last Like I'm more interested in

556
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: being able to go sit at a bar after work

557
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: and have a conversation with a man and not feel

558
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: guilty like I'm doing. I just want to be able

559
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: to connect with people. And if that connection takes me

560
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: two sex, cool, Like I'm open to that, But that's

561
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: not That's where I'm at to be open to connecting.

562
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: That's where I'm at with open relationships because like I

563
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: said on that episode, like how do you go through

564
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: And I've said this plenty of times now, Like you

565
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: can't really go through life without connecting with somebody of

566
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: the opposite sex. And you can be in a relationship

567
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 1: with somebody who's limiting you from these from these connections

568
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 1: because of their ego. You know, you may allow them

569
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: to explore and do whatever it is that they want

570
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,719
Speaker 1: to do. Because I think a lot of times, um

571
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: in the beginning of relationships and even if you're not

572
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you're a man and a woman haven't

573
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: even talked about being in a relationship. Men automatically think

574
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,479
Speaker 1: pushy is on reserve for them, Like so you just

575
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: I assume that people are sucking somebody when you meet them.

576
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: I don't just assume. I just don't assume. I just

577
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: exactly just sitting here waiting for you to ride on

578
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: on a fucking horse. Mitll have all these things going on,

579
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 1: and they want every woman, every woman to be like

580
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 1: committed to them all while they're fucking everybody. If you

581
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 1: even experienced that, I'm married, and I've even experienced that

582
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: from people that I've hooked up with once that are like,

583
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: why don't you want to hang out with me more?

584
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: Why can't you be more available? I'm like, exactly, and

585
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm still in a yeah because to me, like yeah,

586
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: that's just like all right. On our last episode Tahoe,

587
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: he was a guest on he said his the woman

588
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: he was seeing was married, and she said that her

589
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: husband came in her and he made her go to

590
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: um CBS to take a plan B, like how dare

591
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: you let your He didn't make her. I'm pretty sure

592
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: she agreed with that ship he didn't like he said

593
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: in the story, he put the plan be in her

594
00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: mouth with the water that's come in. But you can't

595
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: do that, yo, And I know this, I know this

596
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: from experience with my friends and with people that are

597
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: not my friends and just men in general, is like

598
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: they really are, like, Yo, my girl could never touch

599
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: another man, but like you best believe I'm cheating whenever

600
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: the funk I want. And it's like, yo, you are.

601
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: And I'm the one that said, listen, whatever whatever we

602
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: decide in this relationship, I'm down for. You can't just

603
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: think you're going to be doing this and I'm not.

604
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: This is not because and a lot of men's mind

605
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: like women don't operate that way like we're above that

606
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 1: or we're on this pedestal, but we're sexual beings too.

607
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, I come home you every night. I'm faithful

608
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: to you. But why would you think that never in

609
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: life another man is going to never cross my mind? Like,

610
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: why would you think that Some days you get on

611
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: my fucking nerves, especially and I know somebody that won't

612
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: it on my nerves? And setime, if you're out here

613
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: getting all this sad pussy, and I know you are, yes, yes, well,

614
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: And my thing is too, like where I am with

615
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 1: the open relationship is I'm not out there actively seeking it.

616
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: If Dylan wants to go out and actively seek it.

617
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: I'm that's fine. I don't that's fine with me, but

618
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. But I want the opportunity that

619
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 1: if randomly on a Wednesday afternoon, some dude and I

620
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: catch eyes across across the big and he wants to

621
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: fun like Larry looking at the yeah, and you're like, oh, like,

622
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: and that's fine, like you you should be able to

623
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: do that. But I feel like it doesn't have to be.

624
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 1: I feel like there was a time where I kind

625
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: of felt like we had to have an even playing field,

626
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: like what you want on a date last week? So

627
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: I need to figure out someone I can go on

628
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 1: a date with this week so that you know, we're even.

629
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 1: But if I were trying to keep up with that,

630
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 1: I would have been waiting. I you know, And it's

631
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 1: just not It doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't fulfill this

632
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: need that I have inside, like I I just don't

633
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,839
Speaker 1: feel this pull towards it anymore. And earlier we were

634
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: talking about like, you know, men fulfilling other roles, and

635
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 1: it's like, well, also women fulfilling other roles for me,

636
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 1: especially related to like the information that I was like

637
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: listening to in books and podcasts and stuff. Like I

638
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: wanted other people to talk about It's like I'm my

639
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 1: friend group Dave heard me talk about this ship. They're

640
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: over it. She's heard me talk about the ship all

641
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: the time. Now I meet this girl, she's not only

642
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: physically attracted to me, but she's open to listening to

643
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: my ideas and their new ideas for her. I can

644
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: literally watch her like receive the information like nobody's ever

645
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: told me that. Nobody's ever said that, Wow, where did

646
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: you get the information from? And that made me feel

647
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: good too. That was not sexual. That ship was just

648
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,840
Speaker 1: like an exchange of energy. What I started to realize

649
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,399
Speaker 1: was like that was always the most meaningful thing. Yes,

650
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: it was always the most Like I had this girl

651
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 1: that I dated. What I mean she literally was like oh,

652
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: it was almost like the most of a girlfriend. But

653
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: like I saw her like twelve to fifteen times at least,

654
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: and we were like hitting it off like she was

655
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 1: a LEO two. She was open to everything that I

656
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: was saying, Like we we hit it off in all aspects.

657
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 1: But then it started to be like yo, she started

658
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 1: texting me like a girlfriend and like we were talking

659
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 1: to each other like it was more than that. But

660
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: it was like we had built a relationship because she

661
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: listened to me and heard me. And then I was like, Okay,

662
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: we gotta step back from this. Like she actually took

663
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: the initiative to step back from it. She's like, I

664
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: can't be with anybody that goes home to another woman,

665
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's that's fair. Like, but like

666
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 1: what I got from it that wasn't sexual was so important.

667
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: But it's like I realized I could get that from

668
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 1: not just women, but men and everybody talking about this

669
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 1: is the this what we're doing right here was always

670
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: the best part of it. So like, yeah, we like

671
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 1: hang out, eat, drink, get fucking, and then we'd started

672
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: having these deep conversations and like that's for the most

673
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,800
Speaker 1: meeting would come from. And I'm like, wow, why can't

674
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 1: I just meet people and not need to just suck

675
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 1: them and just talk to them? And like that's why

676
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: men in that way. Men think women are liking that way,

677
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,720
Speaker 1: like as if we cannot hang with the opposite sex

678
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: and not want to have sex with them, like men

679
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: want to every woman they come in contact with a

680
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: lot of times. But I can have a male friend

681
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: that I've never had sex with and I want to

682
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 1: be able to talk to that person. Yeah. Sometimes I

683
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: try to have a friendship with a man and it'll

684
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: be cool and I'll be calling him bro and they'd

685
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: be sisters. He'll call me sis, And then all of

686
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 1: a sudden, I feel a hand on my thigh. I'm like,

687
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Where did this friendship? Yeah? Do have?

688
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 1: But you do have male friends that that would never

689
00:37:55,480 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: happen with, right right exactly, even even like do have

690
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 1: that sex with but you realize, hey, we're good, we're

691
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: better off as friends, Like yeah, yeah, I feel like

692
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 1: I've maintained a lot of like I wouldn't say friendships

693
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: online relationship like you know, I'm checking in with people

694
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: occasionally or like commenting on their story on Instagram. I'm

695
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 1: making like in a monogamous relationship, they'll consider that cheating.

696
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: My word was fraternizing, which I don't even want to

697
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: call it fraternizing because it's just me communicating with another

698
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: human being, like what the fuck, Like, hey, I resonate

699
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: with this thing, yeah that you posted? But then the

700
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: really in a relationship where somebody's looking at that, it's

701
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: just all sexual to them. Everything about it is sexual,

702
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 1: like and that's a projection. That's an ego projection because

703
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,840
Speaker 1: that's what they would do in that situation. That's what

704
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: I've learned. They're like they're projecting. Yeah, they're projecting what

705
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: they would be doing in that situation onto you and

706
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: assuming that you would act how they would act. That's

707
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: why when men come at women like what are you

708
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: doing talking to that guy? That's a that's a guaranteed

709
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: indicator that they're talking about. Okay, hold that thought one second,

710
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: Let's pay some bills. So I have a question, like,

711
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:19,280
Speaker 1: do y'all have like boundaries that y'all sit, sexual boundaries,

712
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: y'all sit like, hey, he can't ain't no anal, no

713
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: anal bring people back to the house. No, no anal.

714
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: Yeah we don't. I don't funk with the butt anyway.

715
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: So sorry ladies that want to get but that's like

716
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: neither of us are interested type of thing. Um, but yeah,

717
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: no bringing people, no straight pussy in the house. Yeah,

718
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: and I broke in that rule, and she's broken that rule.

719
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: We've gone through ways. We've changed the rules up a

720
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: lot too. There's very few rules now. It's more just like,

721
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: you know, wear protection, don't bring people into the house.

722
00:39:53,680 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: Unless we're involved. Um, I definitely know that she has

723
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: not always weren't protection, and I definitely know that I

724
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: have not. Let's talk about that, because that would be

725
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: my own problem with relationships, man, because I really do

726
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 1: not like winning condoms. So I'm open to having a

727
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 1: non monogamous relationship. I'm open to having a monogamous relationship,

728
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: but I just don't like condoms, like I don't like

729
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: calling them. So I'll stick with one person. I'll just

730
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: be where I'm at. See, I prefer always do know, like,

731
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 1: don't bring that raw dick over here, because I'm gonna

732
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 1: go crazy about it. Please put that condom on? What raw?

733
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 1: I started acting like a nut? I would love it too,

734
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: if you know I hit that crazy button in the

735
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 1: back of the pussy. Yeah, and you're all right, we

736
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: getting married? Where are you at? Where are you at

737
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:50,879
Speaker 1: looking for him at night with a flashlight? Right? I

738
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: trust our judgment. I don't know. I'm not like if

739
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: I found out like, oh my god, you didn't wear

740
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 1: a condom, I wouldn't be like over, We're done. This

741
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: is terror. It's more just like giving us kind of

742
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: guidelines so that we're not running around like animals. Yeah,

743
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: I'm not if if something happened then you brought somebody

744
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: back home, that would probably be the point that would

745
00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 1: bother me the most. We just had to do it together.

746
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: If we do that, like and we've done that. We

747
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: did that one time and it was like, yeah, I

748
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: don't want that's my spot. I could be on my

749
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: he could be on my huckey dick. But to y

750
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: when you put it like that, though, it's so funny.

751
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 1: It's it's hilarious, it's serious, it's hilarious, but it's it's

752
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 1: been it's been changed so many times because it just

753
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: realized some of them. It's just like this doesn't even

754
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: make sense. You can't really limit this one thing in

755
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 1: this one area. You just have to trust each other.

756
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: And like I definitely have moved into like I mean,

757
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: like I've said earlier, like we're not really exploring it,

758
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 1: but it's like I'm trying to sacrifice like low hanging

759
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 1: fruit and like just not like the other day, like

760
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: I met this random ass woman on the street with

761
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: dogs and like we ended up like hanging out. She

762
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: bought me a fucking uh like a clean juice. I

763
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: was watching her dog, so she could go get a

764
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: clean juice. We end up like hanging out, go back

765
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: to her pool, and the whole time, my dog is

766
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:29,280
Speaker 1: like she's gonna suck your dick, and I didn't. Yeah,

767
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 1: dead ass serious. That's where a guy was so fucking annoying.

768
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: But then I didn't and she and it felt so

769
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: good to like not want that because like I genuinely

770
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 1: connected with the person. We both needed organic human communication.

771
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 1: She bought me a goddamn clean too at her apartment

772
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,879
Speaker 1: on the South End. It was nice as fuck exactly,

773
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 1: and like she had too cool ass dogs. I was like,

774
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: she was yo. She let me talk about like what

775
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: I was talking about earlier, like all the information that

776
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: I've been consuming. She was years for the information. So

777
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: I got that exchange of energy with another person, didn't

778
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,760
Speaker 1: needed to sexualize it. And when I left, I literally

779
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 1: felt so much gratitude and love and abundance and joy.

780
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: I was literally Meanwhile, if it was me, if I

781
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 1: bought you a clean juice, you owe me some dick

782
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:28,959
Speaker 1: before you go. I didn't get that clean juice for nothing, Like, yeah, bitch,

783
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: I bought that clean juice. Not get this, Like why

784
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: you being aware to me? Yeah, exactly. Yo. That's the

785
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: thing too, is like when I felt objectified by like

786
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 1: in particular gay men, trans men, and older women, Like

787
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: I've literally got to experience directly how I make women

788
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 1: feel sometimes and it's uncomfortable, and it really it humbled

789
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: me when I'm especially in lift, when I'm like one

790
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: on one with the person and then they're like objectifying

791
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: me and I'm not attracted to them, or they're like

792
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 1: just being weird. I'm like, damn, I'm like, I really

793
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: do this ship to people, Like I've really made people

794
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable just trying to like sexualize them and objectify them.

795
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 1: Here I am getting sexualized and objective. It's like, man,

796
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: you just very humble, look over some weird as hell,

797
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 1: no little face Like men don't realize how creepy they be.

798
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 1: And it's just because you like me doesn't mean I

799
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:33,399
Speaker 1: like you. I had a lift driver the other night

800
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 1: take a wrong turn on purpose somehow you I'm about

801
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: to take you with me. No, I said, sir, I

802
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: have a gun right here in my hand. I would

803
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: have told him ship. He would have got shot in

804
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 1: the back. That's right there. That's what I'm talking about, Okay, okay.

805
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm just like I will pop your in his car. Yeah,

806
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000
Speaker 1: well that's the thing, is like, and that's like, well

807
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,919
Speaker 1: that's that's what my mom said because she knows I'm

808
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: in a relationship and her first thing was be safe,

809
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 1: like there's freaks out there. Don't get yourself into any

810
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,879
Speaker 1: bad situation. So that's always been like I really let

811
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 1: these people out before I go and go on a

812
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 1: date with them. I'm not I don't know. I trust

813
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 1: that he has because he's a man, so he can

814
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: he can. I'm not. I'm I'm not afraid of the person.

815
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 1: It's like, not what I am afraid is that if

816
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 1: I go to somebody's house, I don't know what their

817
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 1: man situation might look like where they got these crazy

818
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: as men. And that's another reason where it's like why

819
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 1: am I doing this? Like I'm in this person's house,

820
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 1: Like I don't know what their roommates are, Like I

821
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 1: don't know what their man situation is, Like I don't

822
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 1: know their dad might show up. I don't know if

823
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: he's paying a bill, Like I don't want to, Like

824
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: it's just you invite in weird situations, whereas like if

825
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: you just like attract it. It will come to you.

826
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,719
Speaker 1: It will come to you less often, but maybe that's

827
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:56,760
Speaker 1: the opportunity. Yeah, it will be somebody that's better aligned

828
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,879
Speaker 1: with you anyway, if you attract it versus like going

829
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,320
Speaker 1: what happened to try and get it? Like it happened

830
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: in Lake Left the other day, Like I was talking

831
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: to this girl and she was talking about how she

832
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: was writing a book about her fifty Worst fifty First Dates,

833
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,720
Speaker 1: about her online dating experience, and she was talking about

834
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: some of the experiences we had been hitting it off,

835
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: like and um she uh. She was telling me that

836
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 1: she's a hoe, you know what I mean. And I

837
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 1: was like, well, it's funny that because I'm a hoe,

838
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 1: and then like yeah, and then she yeah, and she

839
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 1: was like all right about like she's talking. Then she

840
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: started talking about dinner, and then I literally was like

841
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: else you could eat before dinner and she just no.

842
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 1: She didn't say no, and she wasn't mad and she

843
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: could mean it was cool, but it was like because

844
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 1: I'm not going to seek it, like I'll take a

845
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,720
Speaker 1: stretch on his situation to try and make something happen,

846
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:55,399
Speaker 1: and like divine intervention just keeps being like embarrassing, right,

847
00:46:55,440 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: now a snack. Yeah, but the thing is yo. But

848
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,879
Speaker 1: she might have been like, yes, let me tell you

849
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: women women. So this is somebody we know to tam

850
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: just this week or last week. The day's Monday. But

851
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 1: this guy she gave her a number two, was straightforward

852
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 1: with her and basically told her like, listen, I'm not

853
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 1: into conventional dating. I just I want to funk. I

854
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,000
Speaker 1: want to suck you like I finally attractive. I want

855
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: to suck you. She was like, should I feel offended

856
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 1: by that? Like? I feel offendsed? Should I feel like

857
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: something way about that? I'm like, yeah, because we want

858
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: men to be straightforward and tell us what they want.

859
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 1: But what's something finesse please like? Because now like, no,

860
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to suck you just because you asked

861
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: if you want to just took that took me conversation

862
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 1: and so they talked about doing drinks. But in his mind,

863
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: like I appreciate that, but I also want to suck

864
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: I don't like I appreciate honestly, don't trying to waste

865
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: her time. Just I don't want but but I'm not

866
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 1: gonna suck you. But you know I'm not. But I

867
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 1: at least know that that's what this is. So I

868
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 1: can move on, you know I can, But how do

869
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,879
Speaker 1: you But how do you feel as a woman where

870
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: a man just coming about me made you feel like

871
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 1: you could just say I want to fuck you. It

872
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:13,879
Speaker 1: wasn't about you. The act too true that but also

873
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: like with the situation here, like we have built a

874
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: report and like when she started saying that she's a

875
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 1: home and she had all these bad dates, and I'm like, damn,

876
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm an open aerage, like this is my chance to

877
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: like you probably in the yeah, I'll give you a

878
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: in a book like you know, like I'm like, I'm

879
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: like this ship is alive. And she was like no,

880
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 1: right in the right leg. Oh my god. But like

881
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: it's just the writing is on the wall that like

882
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 1: I really have to like keep curbing this and keep

883
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: getting better at like controlling the dog and like let

884
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: the dog be invited out when the girl wants and

885
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 1: women like to choose, like we like you don't want

886
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: the time you you get what you want when you choose,

887
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 1: Like when a guy wants me, it's like but if

888
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: I want you and I pursue you, like it is

889
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: better for me because I get exactly what I want.

890
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 1: Even when I've been like on tender, anytime the conversations

891
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: turn sexual, I'm like a right bye, I'm out. This

892
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: is not like even though I'm in an open relationship,

893
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: I understand that that implies that I want to have sex,

894
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: but like that's not all. That's not the only thing

895
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: on my brain and at just the beck yeah, and

896
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:48,000
Speaker 1: I feel like that's when yeah, and that's when men especially,

897
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 1: that's when you reach your highest self. When you can

898
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: turn down a bunch of straight pussy, When you can

899
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 1: turn down pussy, Like, imagine what else you can accomplish? Yes, yo,

900
00:49:56,560 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: Because it's literally sexual transmutation. You use that enter g

901
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 1: that comes in from the lower parts of your yourself

902
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 1: and you transmute it into action, into love, into better,

903
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: better speech because you're making more money type, because you

904
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,799
Speaker 1: literally instead of waking that energy out, you're literally holding it.

905
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 1: There's like a big thing. It's like seminal retention. You

906
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: just don't let your semen out and then you have

907
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: the energy and you can use it for other things

908
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 1: and it's like you can advance so many and then

909
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:29,319
Speaker 1: you get the better woman. Honestly, Like this is so

910
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,240
Speaker 1: therapeutic too, and I think I think it helps people.

911
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 1: Glad that Hailey got to talk about it, because a

912
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 1: lot of this is all my choice. I actually have

913
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:45,280
Speaker 1: enjoyed my sure and I'm sure about it, my girl. Okay, Okay,

914
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,719
Speaker 1: so good, I do. I do. I want to keep

915
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: it open forever because I want to be open to

916
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: whatever life throws at us, however long life continues. So

917
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. Yeah, very beautiful. I wish I'm with ego.

918
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 1: I gotta work on my ego. That's okay, that's and

919
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: you'll chip away at that, and like that will be

920
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 1: something that naturally happens anyway, Like it's an inevitable process.

921
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,800
Speaker 1: So like if you're still living through the ego, mostly

922
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,919
Speaker 1: just let it be and enjoy yourself too. But then

923
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 1: like also like you can see how it makes you

924
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: suffer and then just see how you like see the

925
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: cause and effect of like how you're acting versus like

926
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 1: the effects of the action. And it's like that's what

927
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 1: really changed it for me, was like I was like, man,

928
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 1: all the suffering in my life is like self generated,

929
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 1: Like it's all my own choices and I'm literally causing it.

930
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 1: I'm watching the effects. I don't like the effects, but

931
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 1: yet I'm the one that's taking the actions that cause them.

932
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn, this is humbling. So I when

933
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: you were talking earlier, you said, yeah, some my realtory

934
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 1: ahead a crush on her for five years, and I

935
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 1: was thinking to myself, Damn, Hayley is good because I

936
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:58,439
Speaker 1: would have double back. I got it, Yeah, I got

937
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 1: I got embarrassed. I was you know, I wanted that forever.

938
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 1: She's very much like in the church, like she is

939
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: not unavailable. Hailey was basically like, yo, shoot your shot.

940
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: Yeah that she was like, bring her back. But she's like,

941
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 1: good luck. And I was like, I know, I'm fighting

942
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: out hill battle. But if this makes it to you,

943
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: offer stands right. But if it does, all right? All

944
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: right on that note, Oh my god, that's a nice outro. Alright, listen,

945
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: we enjoyed. We I've always right. I love talking to you, Dylan,

946
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 1: you love love you, Haley. Thank you very much. We're glad.

947
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful for this because it's really just even

948
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: downloading the riverside makes us now want to take action

949
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 1: to continue to talk about what we get got going on,

950
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 1: and it's like we'll get to all that, but we

951
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 1: want to pu anything right quick, honestly, not right now.

952
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 1: Like we just we're continuing to work on ourselves and

953
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 1: like we're we're clearing out the obstacles to be able

954
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 1: to do more of this. Yeah, and we're like getting ahead.

955
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: We're like way ahead of where we ever thought we

956
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 1: could be at this age. So we're like we don't

957
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: need to we're not trying to rush it. But this

958
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 1: is like great little foundations that we're laying that like

959
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 1: build the they laid the bricks for the house that

960
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 1: we want to build, and it's like everything's free, everything's

961
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: cool right now, and it's like that's where we want

962
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: to be. We just want to be. We want to

963
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: be invited. That's what we want. And when people invite us,

964
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 1: we're gonna say yes, but we're not going to go

965
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 1: force it. We're not going to go force it. Yeah,

966
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you. Alright, guys, alight, and

967
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 1: we really gotta get this wrapped up. I can stop it,

968
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 1: so listen. So if you enjoyed this episode, please tune

969
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 1: in every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or

970
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 1: whereever to fun you get your podcast at. Did your

971
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 1: co host a J and I'm official Tam bam. Y'all

972
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: following me all. I love y'all. Have a good one,

973
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 1: all right, good day, thank you,