1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,960
Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

3
00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,360
Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

4
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,320
Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support

5
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,800
Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes. We'll get

6
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:15,760
Speaker 1: into the episode.

7
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,720
Speaker 2: My late boyfriend's parents demanded his house, but I refused

8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,680
Speaker 2: to hand it over.

9
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 3: It's fine.

10
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:27,680
Speaker 2: My boyfriend, thirty mail rest in peace and I thirty

11
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,680
Speaker 2: three Mail were together for fifteen years. I was his

12
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,960
Speaker 2: senior in high school and we stayed together until a

13
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,240
Speaker 2: few months ago when he passed away due to bone cancer.

14
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,320
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user dear Ferret nine

15
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,199
Speaker 2: two six eight, And if you want to submit your

16
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,800
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subburt it.

17
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,120
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we are here

18
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,279
Speaker 2: to give you good advice. Goofully, But we don't have

19
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 2: all the answers, so we only know what we'd do.

20
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,560
Speaker 2: Let us know what you'd do in the comments, and

21
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:02,280
Speaker 2: Op says, I live in the traditional country where our

22
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,920
Speaker 2: marriage is not legal, but it's not a big issue socially.

23
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,720
Speaker 2: His parents booted him out of the house when he

24
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,440
Speaker 2: came out at seventeen, and my family took him in,

25
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,640
Speaker 2: helped him finish high school and were supportive as much

26
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,320
Speaker 2: as they could be. I worked in HR and he

27
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,559
Speaker 2: worked in it. Since he started to work, he made

28
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,200
Speaker 2: good money.

29
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,560
Speaker 3: You both worked in letters.

30
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,759
Speaker 2: Both worked in the big, big, big industry, the letters industry,

31
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,160
Speaker 2: letter industry. He saved enough to purchase a house. Ten

32
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,120
Speaker 2: years ago. He was paying the mortgage all by himself.

33
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,240
Speaker 2: Four years ago he got the diagnosis. He reduced his

34
00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,280
Speaker 2: working hours to take care of his health, and I

35
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,120
Speaker 2: stepped in to pay the mortgage. It was a hard battle,

36
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 2: but Kisser took him back. In March, after he passed away,

37
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,400
Speaker 2: his family appeared in the picture saying how they regretted

38
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 2: not being in his son's life. Time went by, and

39
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,040
Speaker 2: a month ago they reached out to me asking me

40
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,720
Speaker 2: when they could expect that I could give them the

41
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,960
Speaker 2: key to the house.

42
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 4: You're funny, you're funny, they're comedians.

43
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you guys are so funny.

44
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,279
Speaker 3: Yes, their other jobs.

45
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,480
Speaker 5: Because you're tight five because it's funny. It likes to.

46
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:15,359
Speaker 2: Joke, op ads. Since this marriage is not legal, they

47
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 2: could claim the house as their family assets. I told

48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,800
Speaker 2: them that the house was in my name. I bought

49
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,200
Speaker 2: it from him a year into the cancer, so it

50
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,040
Speaker 2: was legally mine and I had been paying the mortgage

51
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,120
Speaker 2: way before that. They got upset and said I was

52
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,360
Speaker 2: being unreasonable and that it should legally be theirs, and

53
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,079
Speaker 2: that my boyfriend would have wanted to give them the house,

54
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 2: which is in fact true. My boyfriend talked a lot

55
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,240
Speaker 2: about how he would give everything to them if that

56
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,600
Speaker 2: would fix the relationship between them. Actually, he bought the

57
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,840
Speaker 2: house as a way to bring them to live with

58
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,640
Speaker 2: him so they would no longer rent. He also tried

59
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,080
Speaker 2: to make amends with them all this time unsuccessfully. I

60
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,320
Speaker 2: told them that I would give them the house for

61
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,400
Speaker 2: the price I bought it from my boyfriend, and they

62
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,800
Speaker 2: would have to pay me back these four years of

63
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:07,080
Speaker 2: mortgage and take the debt over in their name. They

64
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,480
Speaker 2: said they didn't have the money and that it was

65
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,639
Speaker 2: so selfish of me to tell them that, knowing what

66
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,280
Speaker 2: my boyfriend would have wanted. They proposed just to change

67
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,040
Speaker 2: the debt onto their name and give me no money

68
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:22,919
Speaker 2: in return. I declined. They got mad and the discussion

69
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,760
Speaker 2: got heated to the point that they told me they

70
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,200
Speaker 2: would bring me to court, accusing me of scamming my

71
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,280
Speaker 2: boyfriend to have the house, which they can't do. They've

72
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 2: been calling and texting me non stop for the past month,

73
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,120
Speaker 2: telling me I would be an a hole to my

74
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,920
Speaker 2: boyfriend if I don't give them the house. I know

75
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 2: they can't pay me back all the money I put

76
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,120
Speaker 2: in the house, but I'm conflicted right now. Some friends

77
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,280
Speaker 2: told me that I should give them the house and

78
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 2: move on with my life, but it just doesn't feel

79
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,400
Speaker 2: right to me. I'm leaning more onto not giving them

80
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,440
Speaker 2: the house, but I know my boyfriend would jump the

81
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,280
Speaker 2: bed and give it to them. Right now, their words

82
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,760
Speaker 2: feel empty, as if they just want to take advantage

83
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,120
Speaker 2: of the situation. I don't need the house, to be honest,

84
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,120
Speaker 2: but don't want to give it to them either. We

85
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 2: never talked with my boyfriend about what I should do

86
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,440
Speaker 2: with the house after his passing. So would I be

87
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,640
Speaker 2: the a hole if I don't give them the house?

88
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,240
Speaker 2: Comment one says, not the a hole. He would have

89
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,320
Speaker 2: given them the house in his life because he missed

90
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,000
Speaker 2: them that much. They refused to have anything to do

91
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,000
Speaker 2: with him even when he was passing away. If you

92
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,480
Speaker 2: give them the house now, then they benefit from him,

93
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,599
Speaker 2: even though they rejected him when he was alive. You

94
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 2: keep the house because you're the one who loved your boyfriend.

95
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,120
Speaker 2: You owe his terrible family who poked him out at

96
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:39,200
Speaker 2: seventeen nothing And there is another comment, not the a hole.

97
00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,799
Speaker 2: You don't find it at all suspicious that they didn't

98
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 2: come around until after he passed away. I don't believe

99
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,600
Speaker 2: they regret anything. They just want his assets. I also

100
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 2: don't believe your boyfriend would have wanted you to give

101
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,839
Speaker 2: them the house while he was alive. He would have

102
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,120
Speaker 2: done that to mend the relationship, but now there's no

103
00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:02,120
Speaker 2: opportunity to mend the relationship. You really think he would

104
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,359
Speaker 2: want you to move out and give them the house.

105
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,880
Speaker 2: He loved you too, and I don't think you were

106
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,920
Speaker 2: thinking about that at all. You really should block their

107
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,080
Speaker 2: numbers and move on with your life. Oh, Pe replies, Actually,

108
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,839
Speaker 2: we always joked about how he would have a hard

109
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,919
Speaker 2: time if his parents asked him to break up with

110
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,920
Speaker 2: me in order to win their love back. He really

111
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,520
Speaker 2: was desperate for their love, and I know he would

112
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,280
Speaker 2: be conflicted too. I did find it suspicious why they

113
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,919
Speaker 2: appeared after he passed, and that's why I don't find

114
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,600
Speaker 2: their words honest and what is keeping me from giving

115
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,640
Speaker 2: them the house? I don't need it, thankfully. I also

116
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,040
Speaker 2: have an apartment that I bought with my own money,

117
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,560
Speaker 2: but the house means a lot to us just to

118
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,159
Speaker 2: give it to them. Comment number three says, you did

119
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,279
Speaker 2: talk about what would happen to the house after he

120
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,400
Speaker 2: passed when you bought the house from him and it

121
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,240
Speaker 2: went into your name after the Katuer diagnosis.

122
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:52,520
Speaker 6: Right.

123
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,039
Speaker 2: You may not realize it, but that was him making

124
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,840
Speaker 2: sure you would be okay. Ope replies. We decided I

125
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,840
Speaker 2: had to buy the house so I could rearrange the

126
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,200
Speaker 2: mortgage and pay a lesser amount since I would have

127
00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,559
Speaker 2: two properties in a single mortgage. I would have changed

128
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,400
Speaker 2: it back to him when the debt was cut in half.

129
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 2: We trusted each other deeply, so we never thought a

130
00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,240
Speaker 2: lot on this kind of stuff. If things were reversed,

131
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,560
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be thinking about whose name is on the

132
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,960
Speaker 2: mortgage either. And there's an edit. Thank you all for

133
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,800
Speaker 2: your kind words. I cried a lot with most of

134
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 2: the comments. Sorry if I can't keep the pace and

135
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,359
Speaker 2: reply to everyone, I just wanted to say thank you.

136
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,039
Speaker 2: From the bottom of my heart. And there is a

137
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,120
Speaker 2: second edit here. This has blown up in ways I

138
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,320
Speaker 2: didn't even think about. Thank you all for your kind words.

139
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,839
Speaker 2: Just to add some info that looks like is needed

140
00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,800
Speaker 2: for some of you. I live in a country in

141
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,240
Speaker 2: Central America for safety reasons, I will not give the name.

142
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,479
Speaker 2: We didn't live in the house. We lived at my apartment.

143
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,960
Speaker 2: That's why I don't need the house, but I just

144
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,360
Speaker 2: don't feel right giving it to his parents. Also, almost

145
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,400
Speaker 2: all of his money went to pay medical bills. He

146
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 2: didn't want me to put my money on it, which

147
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:05,320
Speaker 2: obviously I would have, and buying the house was the

148
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,160
Speaker 2: best idea we came up with to satisfy the both

149
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,960
Speaker 2: of us. The house is not a big one. It's

150
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:14,680
Speaker 2: six by ten meters and also is in the suburbs.

151
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,280
Speaker 2: It's not worth the same as in other countries, around

152
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,120
Speaker 2: ninety thousand US dollars or a little more. He was

153
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,960
Speaker 2: such a kind heart, so I'm pretty sure that even

154
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 2: if it was all a lie, he would have given

155
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:31,880
Speaker 2: them the house the moment they acknowledged him as attracted

156
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,280
Speaker 2: to the same gender and tell him they loved him.

157
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,400
Speaker 2: That's the reason why I'm having a hard time considering this.

158
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,400
Speaker 2: I can't answer all of your comments, but I'm trying

159
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 2: to read all of them. Thank you for your support,

160
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 2: and there is an update. I hope you sold the

161
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,840
Speaker 2: house for that cool ninety thousand.

162
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, me too. I hope you sold it and that

163
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,440
Speaker 5: they never get their grubby little hands on it.

164
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,240
Speaker 2: Please don't let their little grub fingers.

165
00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,000
Speaker 5: The little grub vans touch all your door handles.

166
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,920
Speaker 2: You get them all slimy and gooey.

167
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,520
Speaker 3: Wo oh, they're so signing.

168
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,280
Speaker 2: First of all, thanks to all the people who replied

169
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,160
Speaker 2: and gave me some support. I really appreciate that. Back

170
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,120
Speaker 2: when I posted the story, I was in a really

171
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,520
Speaker 2: bad place and everything was convoluted. I can't tell you

172
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,720
Speaker 2: how hard it was for me to get to a decision.

173
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,960
Speaker 2: A lot of people told me to take some time

174
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,760
Speaker 2: to think about it. But I really want to thank

175
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:25,680
Speaker 2: user miss seftig J. When I was logging out from

176
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 2: reddit it the other day, I saw their response and

177
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,560
Speaker 2: it lived rent free in my head for almost a week.

178
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,040
Speaker 2: That helped me decide to take my time before making

179
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,240
Speaker 2: any decision regarding the house. So I decided to wait

180
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,079
Speaker 2: until I felt I was able to think clearly. It

181
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:42,880
Speaker 2: took me a few months. It was hard. His parents

182
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,679
Speaker 2: kept bothering me with calls and emails about the house.

183
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,520
Speaker 2: They even hired a lawyer to talk to me about it,

184
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,400
Speaker 2: but my own lawyer told them all to f off.

185
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,240
Speaker 2: They hadn't any leg to stand on if that would

186
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,160
Speaker 2: have gone to a judge. Back in January, I finally

187
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,960
Speaker 2: felt able to make any decision, and I told them

188
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,160
Speaker 2: I was going to sell them the house for the

189
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,720
Speaker 2: original price my boyfriend bought it for. I would still

190
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 2: lose some money, but it was the best course of

191
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,760
Speaker 2: action for me, and that was my last offer. They

192
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,280
Speaker 2: refused it, saying that I should be a better person

193
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,720
Speaker 2: and let them get the house for less.

194
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 5: That's funny, that's funny. Oh P, should be a better person.

195
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:27,000
Speaker 5: Oh P, you guys again kicked out a seventeen year

196
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,840
Speaker 5: old because he liked guys. Who's the better person?

197
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,560
Speaker 2: They didn't even dare to call me his boyfriend just

198
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,520
Speaker 2: a person. So I decided to put the house on

199
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:41,079
Speaker 2: the market. Back in February, they reached out to me again,

200
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,840
Speaker 2: asking if my proposal was still on the table. I

201
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 2: would have loved to tell them no, but I know

202
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,160
Speaker 2: my boyfriend would have wanted them to live there, so

203
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,160
Speaker 2: I told them yes.

204
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,440
Speaker 5: Oh there was a sarcastic awe aw like too bad?

205
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,600
Speaker 2: Oh well, au geez, you should have taken my offer. Oh,

206
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,440
Speaker 2: yesterday's price, not today's price. I told them yes, but

207
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:02,559
Speaker 2: that they had to decide within the week. It wasn't

208
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,520
Speaker 2: necessary and they accepted right away, so I let my

209
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,560
Speaker 2: lawyer handle the selling. I didn't want to see them anymore.

210
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,120
Speaker 2: I got surprised when my lawyer handed me a photo

211
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,320
Speaker 2: book of him as kid in preteen, and it looks

212
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,520
Speaker 2: like it was their way of trying to acknowledge their

213
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,560
Speaker 2: son's life. It's the only thing that I'm grateful for

214
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,679
Speaker 2: to them. A few weeks ago was my boyfriend's one

215
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,199
Speaker 2: year memorial and they didn't show up. So I can

216
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,760
Speaker 2: move on with my life without them bothering me anymore.

217
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,400
Speaker 2: Thanks again for all the comments and direct messages. You

218
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,439
Speaker 2: guys are awesome.

219
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, those people are discussed.

220
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the end of that story. And honestly, don't

221
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,320
Speaker 2: even show up to your son's memorial.

222
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, you stell his house.

223
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,080
Speaker 2: Why'd you sell him the house?

224
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,920
Speaker 5: You steal a house and then don't show up to

225
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:49,640
Speaker 5: his memorial.

226
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, looks like the house didn't actually fix anything.

227
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:53,920
Speaker 3: Nope.

228
00:10:54,679 --> 00:10:57,600
Speaker 2: I hate to be that guy, but uh, if somebody

229
00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,760
Speaker 2: is just entirely awful to someone, they're in entire life,

230
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,480
Speaker 2: and then that person who was the victim of their

231
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:07,720
Speaker 2: awfulness passes away, don't give them a house. Yeah, and

232
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 2: it wasn't a gift, they bought it, But don't sell

233
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,160
Speaker 2: them the house. They shouldn't live in that house. No,

234
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,240
Speaker 2: they don't deserve to live in that house.

235
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,840
Speaker 5: No, they're terrible people.

236
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,320
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

237
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,200
Speaker 7: on to the next one.

238
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,040
Speaker 5: My girlfriend kissed another girl in front of me, so

239
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:24,800
Speaker 5: I dumped her.

240
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,000
Speaker 2: And that's the full scoop, ladies and gentlemen.

241
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,640
Speaker 5: I'm gonna keep it straight because it's not straight, because

242
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,600
Speaker 5: I don't even know I should feel. Basically me, my

243
00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 5: girlfriend and our friend group were hanging out at one

244
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:41,160
Speaker 5: of our friend's house. We were playing Uno, just having fun.

245
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:42,839
Speaker 5: That's how it starts with.

246
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,360
Speaker 2: You, That's how it all always starts.

247
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I end up kissing Dakota all the time after UNA,

248
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 4: just from Uno.

249
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,960
Speaker 5: Uh, cursing at each other, hitting each other, stuff that

250
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 5: happens in a Nuno match. By the way, this comes

251
00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,199
Speaker 5: from Ill Championship seventy three, and if you want to

252
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,040
Speaker 5: spit your own stories, go to the RT slash Okay

253
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,000
Speaker 5: storytime subured it.

254
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,360
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to.

255
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,959
Speaker 5: Give good advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers.

256
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,360
Speaker 5: We only know what we'd do, so please let us

257
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,600
Speaker 5: know what you would do in the comments. Out of nowhere,

258
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,480
Speaker 5: one of my friends asked my girlfriend, how much money

259
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,680
Speaker 5: would it cause for you to kiss a girl? I

260
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,520
Speaker 5: should specify that she's by and it's something she was

261
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,000
Speaker 5: clear about with me from the start. I didn't really

262
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 5: mind whatsoever. After my friend asked her that, she just

263
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,200
Speaker 5: said free bro in a very clear joking tone, which

264
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,559
Speaker 5: we all laughed a bit about, but then immediately said,

265
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,319
Speaker 5: you know what, and it went and kissed another girl

266
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,760
Speaker 5: in our friend group. The group was in shock, but

267
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,920
Speaker 5: I feel like they were happy shocked. They had their

268
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,440
Speaker 5: mouths open and shocked, but they were smiling and some

269
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,440
Speaker 5: of them started laughing. Meanwhile, I was sitting there just

270
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:48,000
Speaker 5: staring at her. I genuinely felt like my heart completely disappeared.

271
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,560
Speaker 5: I wasn't mad nor sad. I just felt super blank.

272
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,760
Speaker 5: She then came to me to hug me, and I

273
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 5: just pushed her away lightly, which she reacted to with surprise.

274
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,360
Speaker 2: I cannot you get close. She's like a gentle They're

275
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 2: like no, just to just.

276
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, without saying a single word. I stood up from

277
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,800
Speaker 5: the floor and started packing my stuff while my girlfriend

278
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,040
Speaker 5: was asking me why I was so mad and saying

279
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,720
Speaker 5: it was just a joke. My friends were still laughing

280
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,160
Speaker 5: about it while I continued to just stare at her,

281
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 5: trying to make her realize what she had just done.

282
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,600
Speaker 5: When I was done, I left the house and walked home.

283
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,080
Speaker 5: It was a little far, but I honestly didn't feel

284
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,840
Speaker 5: like I cared at that moment. When I got home,

285
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,760
Speaker 5: my phone was full of miss calls and about thirty

286
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,960
Speaker 5: texts from her asking me what had happened.

287
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,800
Speaker 2: It's like, you know what happened, you just need him

288
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,280
Speaker 2: to say it. It's like everything got weird. After I

289
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,400
Speaker 2: kissed that girlson.

290
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,160
Speaker 5: I wrote a text to her telling her that we

291
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,040
Speaker 5: were done and that I just couldn't believe that she

292
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,800
Speaker 5: would genuinely kiss someone else in front of me and

293
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,120
Speaker 5: expect me to just take it like it was nothing.

294
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,920
Speaker 5: I told her goodbye and block her. About two hours later,

295
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,360
Speaker 5: my friend started texting me, calling me over dramatic. They

296
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,480
Speaker 5: were all telling me I was acting like a little

297
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:01,160
Speaker 5: kid and that I shouldn't have gotten so mad because

298
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:06,959
Speaker 5: it's just two girls kissing, which is so like dismissive,

299
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:13,440
Speaker 5: like queer female relationships, just like any sapphic relationship that

300
00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:17,319
Speaker 5: dismisses it completely. And the fact that your girlfriend, as

301
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,640
Speaker 5: a bye woman, doesn't get that and doesn't see why

302
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:24,840
Speaker 5: what her friends are saying is wrong is also super bad,

303
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 5: just for bye people.

304
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,440
Speaker 2: Sophia, I don't get how you don't get that.

305
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,480
Speaker 5: It's just two girls kiss you girls kissing, it doesn't count.

306
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 5: That's literally what they're saying. And if your girlfriend doesn't

307
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 5: hear what they're saying.

308
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 2: It's a natural force. It's like gravity. It's just something

309
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,680
Speaker 2: that happens. That's it's it's something that happens just by nature.

310
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 5: It's just nature.

311
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 4: Well, if it were wicked, we got defy gravity.

312
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 3: Before you all ask.

313
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 5: I blocked all of them everywhere. I don't even know

314
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 5: how I should feel. Keep in mind, I'm writing this

315
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 5: two days after this happened, and I'm still processing it.

316
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,800
Speaker 5: Am I actually in the wrong. I don't think that

317
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 5: I am whatsoever, but I'm still really worded out about it.

318
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,440
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole?

319
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 5: And there are some relevant comments. Own conclusion says, why

320
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 5: did it bother you so much? Opie says she kissed

321
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 5: someone else in front of me. It's not something that

322
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,040
Speaker 5: just gets past as a joke. Man Locke says, I

323
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,960
Speaker 5: don't know if it's AI or not, but I'm still

324
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,400
Speaker 5: trying to figure out that casual.

325
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,640
Speaker 3: We were all hitting.

326
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,360
Speaker 5: Each other like you do in normal UNO games. What

327
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 5: I meant in this is the chaos that usually happens

328
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,560
Speaker 5: in long UNU matches in friend groups. At least that

329
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,720
Speaker 5: is something that happened a lot.

330
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,320
Speaker 2: In that group.

331
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,920
Speaker 5: We played a version of UNO called No Mercy, and

332
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 5: we played with a lot of made up rules to

333
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:41,760
Speaker 5: make things more chaotic. I am sorry it sounds fake

334
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,360
Speaker 5: elited comment, but it goes like, were you both willing

335
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,960
Speaker 5: to give up all kiddy for the entire relationship? Opie says,

336
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,680
Speaker 5: I'm not a religious person. Neither do I follow any

337
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 5: of that alpha male stuff you said.

338
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 3: Neither am I?

339
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,240
Speaker 5: American deleted comment asked if OPI would react differently if

340
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 5: his ex was not by Opie says, I don't really

341
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,840
Speaker 5: believe that I would have reacted differently if she was straight.

342
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 5: As I stated in the edit of that post, conversations

343
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 5: about those type of stuff and boundaries were made and

344
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 5: establish DT three h nine two says the irony of

345
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,520
Speaker 5: the story, starting with I'm going to keep it straight

346
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:21,160
Speaker 5: when his girlfriend in fact did not. Who know, reverse Opie, Guys,

347
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 5: I've seen ten replies about this thing so far. I

348
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 5: swear it wasn't intentional lmail update, Hello, y'all. I read

349
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,600
Speaker 5: a lot of the opinions on this and decided to

350
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,040
Speaker 5: text her again to explain the reason that I left.

351
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 5: Based on some of your suggestions, I do think that

352
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 5: is probably good, just so everyone can kind of get

353
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 5: what they want to say out. I still think it's

354
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 5: fair that you want to end the relationship because that

355
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,600
Speaker 5: was totally a betrayal. But I think it is a

356
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 5: good just in general, to have a conversation. As of

357
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,880
Speaker 5: writing this, I'm only left unsecene. But no matter if

358
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 5: she answers or not, I don't believe I want to

359
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,040
Speaker 5: go back together, something that I believe should be common

360
00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,000
Speaker 5: sense for some people is that, yes, ring these three years,

361
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 5: we have both talked about everything that is to do

362
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,040
Speaker 5: with boundaries, stuff that we like in those terms, and

363
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,200
Speaker 5: things that we both would not be okay with doing

364
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,400
Speaker 5: even if we were together for three years. I don't

365
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,639
Speaker 5: believe doing such a thing as a joke is a

366
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,479
Speaker 5: good excuse to stay with somebody who broke your trust

367
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,320
Speaker 5: and played it off as a some dare. I think

368
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 5: it's an even worse look if you decide to break

369
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:27,240
Speaker 5: your partner's trust just like that. I appreciate the opinions

370
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 5: and suggestions a lot. If something else happens that I

371
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,199
Speaker 5: required advice on, I'll update the same post, But for

372
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:37,119
Speaker 5: now I'm grateful edit too. Hello, this is the last

373
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 5: edit I'm going to do on this post, since I

374
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,680
Speaker 5: feel like I've sorted everything out and wanted to clear

375
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:46,000
Speaker 5: some things for those curious. One Today, she responded to

376
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 5: the paragraph I sent with nothing but a laughing face,

377
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:56,240
Speaker 5: no apology, no text, nothing. That's crazy. I don't believe

378
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 5: there's anything else to do about that. I don't care

379
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 5: anymore and have no interest in anything that has to

380
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 5: do with her.

381
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:02,920
Speaker 2: Two.

382
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 5: The person who asked her the question of how much

383
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 5: it would cost. Was a guy, not the other girl.

384
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 5: I'm not sure what the other girl thought about it,

385
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 5: but I don't really care either, since, like the others,

386
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,880
Speaker 5: she only laughed about it. I also don't care about

387
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,680
Speaker 5: the guy. I have no interest in knowing about any

388
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,200
Speaker 5: of them at all. Three. The only person I've stayed

389
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 5: friends with from that group was someone who wasn't at

390
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 5: the hangout when everything happened. He reached out to me

391
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,640
Speaker 5: through discord and asked me to explain everything I did,

392
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,800
Speaker 5: and he understood me. I'm not sure if he's still

393
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,040
Speaker 5: friends with the others, as all he's told me is

394
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,520
Speaker 5: that he doesn't feel comfortable talking with them after I

395
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 5: explained everything. So far, with him, everything is cool. Four.

396
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 5: This isn't much of a clearance but an opinion from myself.

397
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 5: I've read a lot of the comments and learned a

398
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,360
Speaker 5: lot of stuff, some things I agreed with and some

399
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 5: not at all. What I don't understand, and I apologize

400
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 5: if it offends anybody, is the genuine lack of reading

401
00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:01,639
Speaker 5: comprehension from some people. Almost all of the comments that

402
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,439
Speaker 5: told me I was the a hole always said I

403
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 5: should have run with it. Now have a threem, you're

404
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 5: a kiddy. I find it really hot when my wife

405
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 5: kisses another girl. Grow the f up. It's just girls

406
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 5: kissing and she's better off without someone controlling. All of

407
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 5: those commenters are biphobic. I none of those commenters are

408
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 5: actually supportive of queer women, and it astounds me that Op's.

409
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 2: Girlfriends sounds like they're super supportive of women kissing you.

410
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, like they should only kiss, but only in front

411
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 5: of me. Most of them are always only saying that.

412
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 5: In my past edit, I specifically said that this type

413
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 5: of stuff is boundaries that we both established over the

414
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 5: course of our relationship. It was something that both of

415
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 5: us agreed we wouldn't do because we both found it

416
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,879
Speaker 5: disrespectful in a relationship. If you find it hot and

417
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 5: have established with your partner that you don't mind when

418
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 5: they do stuff like that with someone else, that's fine

419
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 5: for you. I strongly believe that people who commented that

420
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 5: stuff just read the title and nothing else. The fact

421
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 5: that some of you would genuinely try to enforce your

422
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 5: mindset onto someone who is clearly against it is honestly

423
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 5: very sad in my opinion. Any final thoughts at the.

424
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,679
Speaker 2: End of the day she kissed a girl and you

425
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 2: did not like it, and I wonder what kind of

426
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 2: chapstick she was wearing.

427
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 5: I won't update this post anymore, as I believe I've

428
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 5: understood everything. I really appreciate everyone who helped me understand

429
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 5: things and gave me their a POV, well also giving

430
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 5: me tips on what I should do. I do believe

431
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 5: I will start focusing more on myself with stuff like

432
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 5: the gym and try to be more social so I

433
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 5: can find good friends. I hope nothing but the best

434
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 5: for those who helped me. And by the way, no,

435
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,439
Speaker 5: the pun from the first line wasn't intentional. Lmail, thank you,

436
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 5: and that's the end.

437
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,479
Speaker 2: Day more credit for that pun. Sometimes you accidentally, you know,

438
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 2: you wrote gold. You didn't know it, but yeah, you

439
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 2: know what, honestly, it's all right you being not together

440
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 2: with her anymore. Fine, dude, you made, You made a

441
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 2: good call.

442
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 5: You did, You called it really quickly.

443
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

444
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 7: on to the next one.

445
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: I'm hesitating to include my in laws in our will

446
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 2: because of their behavior.

447
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 3: What did they do?

448
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 2: My husband, twenty four male, and I, twenty four female,

449
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 2: have been together for nearly four years and have one

450
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 2: child together. We decided around a year ago that we

451
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 2: needed to sort out our will to ensure our daughter

452
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: had a stable life should something happen to us. By

453
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user concerned Mother five oh one.

454
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

455
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,680
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay story time subredit. My name's Dakota,

456
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're all here for one reason,

457
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 2: and it's to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't

458
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 2: have all the answers and it makes us upset, So

459
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: just tell us what you would do in the comments,

460
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 2: because we only know what we would do right now,

461
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 2: in the here now, and that's what we're gonna tell you.

462
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 2: And Op says yes. The wills that we had written

463
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 2: states that our daughter would go to my father fifty mail. However,

464
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 2: he's got various health conditions which could mean he might

465
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: not still be around. As a backup plan, we stated

466
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: that my husband's parents fifty one female and sixty male,

467
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 2: would get her. Over the course of the last few years,

468
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,479
Speaker 2: mother in law's behavior has been steadily declining. She's been

469
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 2: acting like she's in her twenties, going out partying every weekend,

470
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 2: doing illegal substances, instigating arguments with husband's siblings, et cetera.

471
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 5: Sounds like she's just a cool looks like she's a

472
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 5: cool lady. Feels like she's a cool lady.

473
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: Smells like she's a cool lady. My husband said that

474
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: she had heavy drinking tendencies when he was growing up.

475
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: About a year ago, she had been out partying on

476
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 2: the Friday night and did some illegal things. Then the

477
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 2: next morning she was watching our daughter for us. She

478
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 2: hadn't told us that she wasn't sober when we dropped

479
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 2: a daughter off off and we only found out a

480
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 2: pickup because she said to husband, oh, yeah, I had

481
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 2: a fun time last night. I got to do with

482
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,159
Speaker 2: the spicy flower. My husband explained to her that we

483
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 2: would have rather she had told us. We wouldn't have

484
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: gone out, but there would have been someone sober watching

485
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 2: our daughter. He told her that if she ever watched

486
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: our daughter while under the influence again, that she wouldn't

487
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: be able to have her alone anymore. I didn't realize

488
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 2: until daughter got home that mother in law had also

489
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: given her her first haircut without permission and threw away

490
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 2: all the hair because her hair was bothering her. I

491
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 2: was livid, but mother in law feigned ignorance, saying she

492
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,199
Speaker 2: didn't realize first haircuts were a thing and that she

493
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 2: didn't take off much. But our daughter went from having

494
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: nose lengthd hair to microbangs. Taking into account that she

495
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 2: had been doing a spicy flower the night before, and

496
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 2: she'd been drinking during the day, and she had scissors

497
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 2: so close to daughter's eyes pushed me over the edge

498
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: into a huge argument between me and husband, mostly because

499
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 2: he originally tried to say it was him that cut

500
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 2: her hair. When I said that I knew it was

501
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 2: mother in law that did it, he started trying to

502
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: defend mother in law. It's now something that gets frequently

503
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: brought up in a mocking way by mother in law

504
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 2: with a smirk on her face. Fast forward to last weekend.

505
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: Mother in law had organized a family get together for

506
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: father in law for his sixtieth birthday, and had also

507
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 2: invited some of his friends and work colleagues as well.

508
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 2: Mother in law and father in law both work in

509
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 2: the medical industry. We arrive on time, but we weren't

510
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: the first there. Husband's younger brother, twenty male was first

511
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 2: to arrive with his partner, twenty female. A younger brother

512
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 2: in law went into the bathroom while sister in law

513
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 2: sat on the couch which looks into the kitchen. Mother

514
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 2: in law was in there pressuring father in law into

515
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 2: taking something, to which he gave in and she saw

516
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 2: them take some substances. Shortly thereafter, we arrived and said hello,

517
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 2: and then husband's older brother they're twenty five male and

518
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 2: his partner thirty mail, arrived while we were outside. Sister

519
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 2: in law told us what she had seen and was

520
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 2: saying that she was upset that they'd do something like

521
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 2: that for a family gathering. Older brother in law and

522
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 2: partner came out, and after eating, we asked them if

523
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 2: they already knew, to which they said they did. They

524
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 2: revealed that mother in law had specifically told them what

525
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 2: her and father in law did, and that older brother

526
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 2: in law and partner were told not to tell me

527
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 2: and husband that mother in law and father in law

528
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 2: weren't sober. We were so angry that we just wanted

529
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: to leave, but we also didn't want to upset father

530
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 2: in law at his birthday celebration. After people started leaving,

531
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,959
Speaker 2: we made an excuse to leave with them. It did

532
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: take a while, as the combination of the psychedelics plus

533
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 2: booze caused mother in law to have a breakdown and

534
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: start crying about how she never sees us. Husband and

535
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: I have had a chat and at this point we're

536
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: not comfortable with mother in law and father in law

537
00:25:59,160 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 2: having daughter a law.

538
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 5: How did you let it last this long?

539
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 3: Though?

540
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: Like?

541
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 5: How is this the breaking point? The first time I

542
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 5: find out that anyone has watched a child of mine

543
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 5: under any source of sub like like after a day

544
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 5: of you know, taking substances, and then also while watching them,

545
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 5: was drinking, never watching my mind, Yeah, this seems.

546
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: Pretty much irrelevant to the larger issue at hand, which

547
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: is that she had scissors around your two year old

548
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: daughter while drinking, after she'd been drink drinking, night.

549
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 5: Of doing substances, day of drinking, watching your kid holding

550
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 5: scissors near her face.

551
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: We don't know what kind of substances they are taking

552
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 2: outside of party situations, but we think it's disrespectful that

553
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 2: they wouldn't want to be lucid for when they see

554
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 2: their granddaughter. On top of this, they knew that we'd

555
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 2: have an issue with them doing what they did to

556
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: the extent that they told people not to tell us specifically.

557
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 2: Now husband and I are assessing whether we still want

558
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: them as our backup in our wills. Husband hasn't talked

559
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: to them about the weekend incident yet. He is still

560
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 2: so angry and upset, as he's been the one defending

561
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 2: mother in law to his siblings and me the last

562
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 2: few years. Would we be overreacting by changing our wills

563
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 2: to have our backup as my mom instead? She's not

564
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 2: already as she lives overseas and there is an update, You.

565
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 5: Would be underreacting if you didn't.

566
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think that's a great environment for a

567
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: kid to be around. Update. We saw our lawyer on

568
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 2: Monday and discussed with her what we wanted to be changed.

569
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: It was really hard for husband and he was quite depressed.

570
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: He knew it had to be done for daughter's safety.

571
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 2: We've had our wills changed to name my mother and

572
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 2: stepfather as daughter's guardians if we are not around. The

573
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 2: main thing lawyer needed to confirm was that whether we

574
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 2: wanted daughter to move to them or them to move

575
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: to hear We had already discussed them doing the last,

576
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: so that's what will be put in. Someone suggested we

577
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: specifically exclude mother in law and father in law from

578
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 2: being potential guardians, which we suggested to our lawyer. She

579
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 2: said that she wouldn't advise us including that in our will,

580
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: as wills become publicly available after a person's passing. She

581
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 2: instead suggested that we leave sealed letters for our executors

582
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 2: outlining that we wish for mother in law and father

583
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: in law not to be her guardians and why in

584
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 2: that instance, the information would only become public knowledge if

585
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 2: they tried to ignore our wishes and get custody of daughter,

586
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 2: as the letter could be used as evidence in court.

587
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 2: Husband also changed his executor from mother in law to

588
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 2: a close friend. We see said friend every week for

589
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: game night, and he was husband's best man at our wedding.

590
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: He's got a good connection with daughter. She was born

591
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 2: the same day his mother passed, and he said that

592
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: her birth gave him hope in a very dark time.

593
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 2: Mother in law and father in law still have not

594
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 2: contacted us. Yes, normally mother in law would ring husband

595
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: every few days to check in, but it's been over

596
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 2: a week now and still nothing. We're thinking older brother

597
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 2: in law probably mentioned to them that we knew about

598
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 2: the substances and that we were pissed. They're probably trying

599
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: to wait out husband's anger and hope that it blows over.

600
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: Update number two, We finally received the dreaded call from

601
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 2: mother in law after only three weeks of no contact.

602
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: She called to ask if she could have daughter next week,

603
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: as it's her friend's son's birthday. We were in the

604
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,360
Speaker 2: middle of dinner, so husband said he'd call her back later.

605
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 2: We finished up and my father fifty mail, watched daughter

606
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 2: while we went to a separate room to talk to

607
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,719
Speaker 2: mother in law. The conversation started with husband saying that

608
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 2: he wouldn't be comfortable with her having daughter unsupervised, to

609
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 2: which she responded that she understood, no questions asked. He

610
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 2: started explaining to her that we didn't appreciate the substance

611
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: use when we were over for father in law's birthday,

612
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 2: and that we knew that she specifically not to tell us.

613
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: She tried to explain away, saying, oh, well, it's not

614
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 2: something we wanted broadcast to all the guests, and that

615
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 2: she figured we wouldn't care because she wasn't responsible for daughter,

616
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 2: to which we responded with why mention us by name

617
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 2: rather than just saying don't tell anyone. She eventually confessed,

618
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: saying that she didn't want us to know because we'd

619
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 2: judge them, and that they didn't want any big reactions

620
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 2: from us. She continued on talking in loops, making out

621
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: that husband was being selfish and that clearly we had

622
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 2: the problem because we were invited to their house. They

623
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: could do what they wanted in their house, and they

624
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 2: were able to make adult decision such as using substances.

625
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 2: The issue is that they did it then tried to

626
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: hide it when they knew other people wouldn't be okay

627
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: with it. We don't want to be around it, and

628
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,479
Speaker 2: we don't want our daughter around it, and she knew that.

629
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: They also didn't portray it as a party. It was

630
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 2: advertised as a Sunday lunch celebration. Yeah, that's that's false advertising.

631
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, a bunch of Liyah's over there.

632
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: She started talking about my grandmother, who also has a

633
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 2: drinking problem, saying that we're fine with daughter being around her,

634
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: which actually we're not. She then went on to say

635
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: that we shouldn't worry about it. If we're such prude,

636
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: she'll steer clear of anything questionable or addictive, too late,

637
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 2: too late. It's like now it's like it's stude has shifted.

638
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 2: So it was like, oh, well, I mean we're whatever.

639
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: We're adults. We can make whatever decisions that we want. Well,

640
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 2: if you guys are so lame in such prudes, then

641
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: I guess we'll just never do anything around you.

642
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 3: Ever.

643
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 2: It's like, come on, they are also adults. They can

644
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 2: decide that they don't like that stuff, just like you're

645
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 2: an adult who can decide that you do.

646
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 5: You're just not watching their kids anymore.

647
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 2: She started by mentioning wine, then doubled down saying, oh wait,

648
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 2: coffee has caffeine and caffeine so it could dive better,

649
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 2: steers better, steer clear of that one too. I could

650
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: see she was really starting to upset a husband and

651
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 2: make him second. Guess, if I feel like someone is

652
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: threatening me or someone in my family, I can really

653
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 2: lose my crap. And that's exactly what happened. I started with,

654
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: what the F is wrong with you? What in the

655
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 2: actual F is wrong with you that you think this

656
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: is okay? This is disgusting behavior, and you know it.

657
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: You would never let any of your kids at two

658
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,560
Speaker 2: years old around someone who was high, you would have

659
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 2: lost your crap, So why would you do that to

660
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 2: your granddaughter and then expect us to be fine with it.

661
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 2: I was beyond furious at this point, so I was

662
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 2: screaming into the phone. I think she was a little

663
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: taken aback by my presence because she thought husband was alone.

664
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: She responded with I'm not gonna respond, he yelling. I

665
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: went to another room to cool off before I went

666
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 2: back to listen again. She was talking about how father

667
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 2: in law wanted to do the substances as a sixtieth

668
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 2: birthday present to himself, and that it may be hard

669
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 2: to hear when you're in your twenties, but it's not

670
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 2: about you. But it sounds like you were trying to

671
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: pressure him into doing it from what I heard, yes

672
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: earlier in the story.

673
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 5: None of that matters, because the issue here is that

674
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 5: you're doing them around the kid. That's it. That's literally it.

675
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 5: So you don't get to see the kid. If you

676
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 5: want to do the substances and drink, you are more

677
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 5: than welcome to it's your life. But the consequence is

678
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 5: you don't get to be around the kid.

679
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 2: We don't care what they do in their own time.

680
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,280
Speaker 2: We just don't want our daughter around it, and she

681
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 2: knew that. She then started to go on about how

682
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 2: she loves daughter and she wished she could see her more,

683
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 2: and then proceeded to talk about paying for daughter swim classes.

684
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 2: At that point I butted in again to say, okay, thanks,

685
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 2: you no longer need to worry about that, as it's

686
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 2: not going to be a point you can manipulate. She

687
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 2: then tried to backtrack and said she was just meaning

688
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: that she cares. The call continued with her trying to

689
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,760
Speaker 2: make excuses and manipulate husband into thinking that we were

690
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 2: wrong for our reaction. When I would jump in, she'd

691
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 2: make comments about me being too involved. She tried talking

692
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 2: about how upsetting it was that we'd reacted like this,

693
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 2: but oh, don't feel guilty, which I think was an

694
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 2: attempt at reverse psychology. I just reiterated that we didn't

695
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 2: feel guilty and we were acting in the best interest

696
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 2: of our daughter. She finished by saying that what we

697
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 2: want to do is our decision and that what she

698
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 2: does won't affect anything of what we think of her.

699
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: I called her out, saying that her behavior on the

700
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,479
Speaker 2: call had been manipulative and absolutely disgusting. And husband said

701
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 2: something to the tune of him, not recognizing her anymore,

702
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 2: said goodbye and hung up.

703
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 5: Oh boy, my same thoughts. Don't let them or watch

704
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 5: your kids. That's easy, easy peasy.

705
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: Don't let them watch your kids. And your ability to

706
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 2: make things in your will whatever you want them to

707
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 2: be is yours alone, and let's finish this story. Husband

708
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: was understandably distraught afterwards. He's a very passive person, and

709
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 2: he was waiting until she called to say something to

710
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: her about the substance use. I was telling him how

711
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 2: to word his responses to her while they were talking,

712
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,479
Speaker 2: but he would just let her cut him off, which

713
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 2: is probably another reason I jumped in. This has been

714
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 2: kind of playing on my mind as I'm not really

715
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: an angry person. I try to be kind and considerate,

716
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 2: so when I do lose my crap, it tends to

717
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 2: stick with me. I did talk with husband and apologize

718
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 2: for butting in, but he thanked me for backing me up.

719
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,879
Speaker 2: So am I the a hole for calling out mother

720
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 2: in law on her.

721
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 5: Bull No call her out sooner.

722
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 2: You are not the a hole.

723
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: Not at all.

724
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 5: This lady should never be around kids.

725
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

726
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 7: on to the next one.

727
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 2: Sam.

728
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

729
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 1: three of minutes bads from our sponsors.

730
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: I discovered my stepfather doesn't like me at their house

731
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:46,840
Speaker 2: after I saw a message.

732
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 3: Maybe you should read the messages.

733
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 2: Stop opening bottles with messages in them.

734
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 5: They're never good.

735
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 2: I'm twenty one female and in my junior year of college.

736
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: I go to school three and a half hours away

737
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 2: and usually only go home during breaks. My parents have

738
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 2: been divorced since I was seven and both are remarried

739
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 2: with other kids. By the way, this comes from us

740
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 2: a background heata, and if you want to submit your

741
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subbured it.

742
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm.

743
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:13,919
Speaker 4: Carly, I'm Keon.

744
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 2: And he had to give you good advice goofully. Because

745
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers, we only know what

746
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: we would do, so if you would do something different,

747
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 2: let us know in the comments. As Op says, my

748
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 2: mom is married to rich forty seven female and forty

749
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: eight male, and they have two sons, eight and ten.

750
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 2: My dad and stepmom fifty male forty five female, have

751
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: a twelve year old son, and I have two stepsisters,

752
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 2: twenty two and twenty four. I had a good childhood

753
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 2: and always got along with everyone. I thought. Before I

754
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 2: left this summer, Rich was coaching my brother's soccer team

755
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,000
Speaker 2: and gave me his phone so my younger brother could

756
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: play a game on it. At one point, the phone

757
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,759
Speaker 2: shut off, so I plugged it into my battery pack.

758
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 2: When it turned back on, there was a text from

759
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 2: his brother saying, yeah, that's rough, but at least she's

760
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 2: gone most of the time. I saw the text it

761
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,280
Speaker 2: was responding to, and it basically said that Rich always

762
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,479
Speaker 2: preferred when I was at my dad's house and said

763
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,879
Speaker 2: all step parents probably feel the same way, so he

764
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 2: doesn't feel bad. I didn't snoop any further and gave

765
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 2: the phone back to my brother. I still plan on

766
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 2: seeing and hanging out with my mom and brothers, but

767
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 2: I told her I was just going to stay at

768
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 2: my dad's on breaks from now on. I didn't tell

769
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 2: her why, but I always hated having two houses anyway.

770
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: I never wanted to pick just one because I love

771
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 2: them both, and they always said they loved having me

772
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: there and missed me when I was gone. I feel

773
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 2: stupid for believing them, but I guess that's part of

774
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 2: growing up. I told my dad and stepmom it was

775
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 2: because my mom was having work done on her house,

776
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: and they're thrilled I'll be staying there. My mom is upset,

777
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,760
Speaker 2: but I told her it would just make things easier.

778
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 2: I didn't want to start a fight between her and

779
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 2: rich and won't make a big deal about anything. I

780
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 2: plan on living at home for a while after I

781
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 2: graduate to save money, and it'll just be easier to

782
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,360
Speaker 2: stay at one house anyway. I know my mom's sad,

783
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 2: but I think this is the best for everyone and

784
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: will make the most people happy. My boyfriend thinks I

785
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: should just keep staying at both, but I'm excited about

786
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: just having one place to stay. Am I the ale

787
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 2: for not staying at my mom's part time? And there

788
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,240
Speaker 2: is an edit? But I would say, you're not the ale,

789
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 2: but you should definitely just be honest about why.

790
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say, like, have a conversation so you're

791
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 6: not like continually stewing about the messages and stuff. Yeah,

792
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,399
Speaker 6: but you don't have to stay there.

793
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 2: You don't have to keep that on the inside and

794
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: have that be like your little secret and your little

795
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 2: burden that you carry and just like knowing that Rich

796
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: like said that or whatever, and it's like, right.

797
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 5: Bill, hey, Rich, what the heck? Rich? The like nicer

798
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 5: And it.

799
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 2: Might you know, you're getting one fraction of that conversation.

800
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 2: It's all you saw. It might have just been like,

801
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: you know, a more nuanced thing. Maybe maybe it was

802
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,919
Speaker 2: just more like, Yeah, I feel more stressed when she's

803
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: here because I feel like I have to, you know,

804
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: be better while my wife's like bio daughter like that

805
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 2: she had before me is around. I don't know, who knows.

806
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 6: Maybe it could be all cleared up, but.

807
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: It should be said. Yeah, it should be said. And

808
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,439
Speaker 2: if that starts a fight, that's not your fault. It's

809
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,640
Speaker 2: just a it was a freak accident that you saw it. Yeah,

810
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 2: but you can't just swallow it and pretend you didn't

811
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 2: see it, so so you should say something.

812
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 7: Edit.

813
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 2: I really don't know if I'm ready to talk to

814
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: my mom about this. Guys. We had some rough years

815
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 2: when I was a teenager, and it's a little better now,

816
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 2: but it would be devastating to find out she felt

817
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: the same way. When I say I'm an adult, it

818
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 2: just means that I don't depend on her anymore, or

819
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 2: not that I'm mature. If I was, I would have

820
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: probably already told her and not asked. Reddit. That's not

821
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 2: an easy discussion, and I'm already hurting a lot. I

822
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 2: know she's hurting too, but I'm still the kid and

823
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 2: just saying it's going to hurt a lot. I'm probably

824
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: going to tell her, but I can't write now. I'm sorry,

825
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 2: And there's an update from seven days later.

826
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, well then you know that you have to eventually.

827
00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 2: Let's sing a little song. Hey, sometime it's hard to

828
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: say stuff, but you should say that stuff. Yeah, even

829
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 2: when it's hard and it's scary, you should say it. Okay,

830
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 2: update edit. I am seeing a therapist. You don't have

831
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 2: to keep telling me to I've been seeing.

832
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 3: It for months.

833
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 2: I posted a few days ago about accidentally seeing a

834
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 2: text on my stepdad's phone where he said he preferred

835
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: me to be at my dad's so I decided that

836
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,320
Speaker 2: when I come home from college, I would only stay

837
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 2: with my dad. Everyone told me to tell my mom,

838
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 2: some nicely, some not. I really didn't want to do that. Sorry.

839
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: If I came across as argumentative, it wasn't on purpose.

840
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: The thing is, it felt like way more people cared

841
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 2: about my mom's feelings over mine. I get it. I've

842
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 2: always done that too, but I've been working on it.

843
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: I took all your advice and talked to my mom.

844
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 2: I wish I hadn't. She had called me a few

845
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 2: times about Thanksgiving and the plan, and then was telling

846
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 2: me I should just stay with them, so I told

847
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: her I just felt like Rich doesn't love it when

848
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 2: I'm there. I didn't tell her about the text. I

849
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 2: just knew she'd yell at me and accuse me of snooping,

850
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 2: even though I didn't. I just said I got the

851
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 2: feeling things were easier for them when I stayed at

852
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 2: my dad's. She told me that, of course it was

853
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 2: easier when I wasn't there. It's hard having someone who

854
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,439
Speaker 2: only lives with you part of the time because it's

855
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 2: harder to bond, playing around and messes up routines. She

856
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 2: said it nonchalantly, like of course it's cold in the winter.

857
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 2: I wish she had just left it at that, But

858
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 2: then she said I'm too much like my dad and

859
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,400
Speaker 2: reminded them too much of him. That hurt because my

860
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 2: dad has said something similar before, so it's like I

861
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 2: can't make anyone happy. Yeah, that's gross, just being like, yeah,

862
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 2: you remind me of the father who I divorced and

863
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 2: don't like. Really, hope, I'm sorry, but it's better to

864
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: know that your mom is a terrible communicator and just

865
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 2: thinks you're kind of low key a burden to have around.

866
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 2: She told me I'm an adult now and she'd have

867
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 2: already realized these things, but that she still loves me

868
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 2: and wants me there. She said these things are complicated,

869
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: and she didn't like feeling as if I preferred or

870
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 2: picked my dad over her. I got mad, felt like

871
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 2: she was defending her stupid husband trying to force me

872
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 2: out of their lives, and she didn't listen. I told

873
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,760
Speaker 2: her she defends me to rich all the time, because

874
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 2: blended families are complicated. I told her I was going

875
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: to still stay at my dad's so she wouldn't have

876
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: to keep dealing with all that, but she basically insinuated

877
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 2: my dad and stepmom probably felt the same way. That

878
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 2: hurt a lot, and I hung up on her after

879
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,760
Speaker 2: asking her to have my back for once in my life.

880
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 2: I think I just knew deep down that she felt

881
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 2: this way. So I wish I hadn't talked to her

882
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 2: about it. I feel so bad. I wish I had

883
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 2: kept my mouth shut and done my original plan, which

884
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 2: was to tell her that my stepsister had asked me

885
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 2: to help her with her baby. I just made it worse. No,

886
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 2: you didn't. The truth hurts sometimes, but it's better to

887
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 2: have the truth than to just live in a little

888
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 2: delusion that you really know. Like you said, like I think,

889
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 2: deep down I knew that she felt this way. Yeah,

890
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: so you're just suppressing that feeling anyway.

891
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 6: It's that like shock and finding out that it was

892
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 6: a real thing. It is always like devastating.

893
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 2: If you wanted, though, you can apply this silly baby

894
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: technique you're saying, my mama was such a silly baby.

895
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 3: It works if.

896
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 6: You can really believe it.

897
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: That's the trick, though. You have to really believe in

898
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 2: the silly baby Noess.

899
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 6: There needs to be a committing to the bit.

900
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 2: If you can't truly embody the silly baby keeps saying

901
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:20,359
Speaker 2: this stuff. She's mad at my dad, she's just mad

902
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 2: at her ex husband, and now she wants to make

903
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,800
Speaker 2: me feel bad because she's a silly baby.

904
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:25,720
Speaker 5: Silly baby.

905
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 2: I guess she told Rich because he ended up calling me.

906
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 2: I didn't answer, but he left a voicemail and apologized.

907
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 2: He said he was sorry if anything he did or

908
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 2: said made me think he didn't want me around. He

909
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 2: didn't intend for that, but he didn't deny it, so

910
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: it didn't make me feel any better. I won't be

911
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 2: returning his call anyway. I haven't really talked to them

912
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 2: since I texted to ask the Times for Thanksgiving because

913
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: every year I have to figure out how to make

914
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 2: all the houses work. But I haven't heard back. She

915
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,439
Speaker 2: does this sometimes, so I'm not too worried. I'm sure

916
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 2: she'll reach back out if she feels bad or needs something.

917
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 2: I know. Some people pointed out it's unfair to my

918
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 2: step mom and dad for me to stay with them

919
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,480
Speaker 2: full time, because they probably feel the same way, but

920
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: I don't have anywhere else to stay when I'm home.

921
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:13,280
Speaker 2: My boyfriend says I could stay with him at his parents,

922
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: but I don't know how i'd explain that there from Mexico,

923
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 2: so I need to go home anyway to get my passport.

924
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 2: I'm going to stay at my dad's and hope they

925
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 2: don't feel the same as my mom and stepdad. Even so,

926
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: if my mom feels that way, it's likely my dad

927
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: does too, and that sucks. Why is that the case?

928
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:33,400
Speaker 2: People are complicated and different and it's a little swirly

929
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 2: gray area of how people think and feel.

930
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 6: And she already said her dad's made similar comments.

931
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 2: Okay, before anyone says anything, No, I'm not going to

932
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 2: tell my dad any of this. If you had divorced parents,

933
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: you'll understand you can't complain about the other parent, or

934
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 2: they'll just gloat and make it about them. I wasn't

935
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 2: a bad kid. I had good grades, played sports, had

936
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,759
Speaker 2: a job, and didn't get into trouble. My parents are

937
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 2: really critical of me. I think I remind them too

938
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: much of the other parent, and as I got old,

939
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: I got sick of being nitpicked over everything. I stood

940
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 2: up for myself and they didn't like that. I don't

941
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 2: regret it. I did talk to my dad and he

942
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 2: said he was thrilled I'd be staying with him and

943
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 2: that they loved having me there. But sometimes I think

944
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 2: he exaggerates. Well, all people do this.

945
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, that also could be extra just because you're in

946
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 6: your head with your mom's stuff.

947
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know could there be times where your

948
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 2: dad's like, ah, yeah, it's harder to have my daughter

949
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 2: staying with me right now. Yeah, But does that mean

950
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 2: he just like doesn't want you around at all?

951
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 3: No, not at all.

952
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,280
Speaker 2: I don't know if he and my step mom feel

953
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 2: the same as my mom and Rich, But if they do,

954
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: i'd rather not know now I won't be going through

955
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 2: my step mom's phone. I don't know. I graduate next

956
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: year and plan to live at home for a bit

957
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 2: to save money, but now I kind of feel like

958
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 2: I don't belong at either house. In the end, my

959
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: boyfriend and I have talked about moving to the coast

960
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 2: after college, and that would be nice, I think, honestly,

961
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 2: you know, just believe them when they say it. They're

962
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: thrilled to have you. Your mom's just being you know,

963
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 2: and maybe she is right to some extent where it's like, well, yeah,

964
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 2: of course, having another person staying at the home is

965
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 2: going to make things more complicated and like be more

966
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 2: of a burden, and you should know that. It's like, no,

967
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 2: you're her mother, you should be like, of course, we

968
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,919
Speaker 2: would be thrilled to have you at home. We would

969
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 2: love to see you more and have you around all right,

970
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 2: let's finish this story. I feel like all of this

971
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: has really changed how I view my entire childhood, and

972
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 2: it sucks that maybe I was never really as wanted

973
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 2: as I thought. My boyfriend says I should try to

974
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 2: look at it as a good thing, as weird as

975
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 2: that sounds like freeing. I always felt like I owed

976
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 2: a lot to my parents and needed to make them happy,

977
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: but maybe I don't, and that is kind of freeing.

978
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: My boyfriend also told my friend he was going to

979
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: propose in the spring, which is exciting. I'm in no

980
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: hurry though we've been together for years and I never

981
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 2: wanted to be married before I was twenty five. But

982
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:46,720
Speaker 2: with everything going on, who knows. And there's an edit, guys.

983
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 2: I'm sure one day I'll talk to my dad like

984
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 2: when I was a kid, I used to like an

985
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 2: album by Tame and Paula, and I'll feel better and

986
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 2: talk to him eventually. I just need to get my

987
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 2: feelings in a better place because I'm crashing out over this.

988
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: Want to deal with that first, and that is the

989
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 2: end of that story.

990
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:07,320
Speaker 6: I used my brother's rent to pay for my kids

991
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 6: college and it made him furious.

992
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 2: Hey, what do you do well, well, what are you doing?

993
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,680
Speaker 6: Let me start by saying, my husband fifty mail and

994
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 6: I forty six femail have done pretty well for ourselves.

995
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 6: We are not hugely wealthy, but we have made smart

996
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:27,160
Speaker 6: financial decisions and have invested wisely over the course of

997
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 6: our entire twenty plus year marriage so that we can

998
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 6: be comfortable and not have to worry about money. By

999
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 6: the way, this comes from and in submissions eleven thirty

1000
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 6: eight and if you want us to make your own stories,

1001
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 6: go to the r slash Oki storytime subreddit.

1002
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and.

1003
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 5: We're here to give good advice. Goofully.

1004
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 6: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

1005
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 6: what we would do, So let us know what you

1006
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 6: would do in the comments. And Opie says, one of

1007
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 6: the investment decisions we made about ten years ago was

1008
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 6: to purchase a small, run down house in our neighborhood

1009
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 6: and fix it up so that we could use it

1010
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 6: as a rental property. We put a good chunk of

1011
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 6: money into fixing up the house, got insurance and an

1012
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 6: ellc to become private landlords and do regular maintenance on

1013
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 6: the property, so it stays in good condition. We rented

1014
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,439
Speaker 6: the property out for a few years and were able

1015
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 6: to make back what we had spent on repairs and

1016
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 6: start to turn a small profit.

1017
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 3: Apart from a small amount.

1018
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 6: Set aside for repairs on the house, we decided to

1019
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 6: put all of the profit from tenant's rent into a

1020
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 6: savings account for our children's college funds. Our families know

1021
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 6: that we own an additional property for rental income, but

1022
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 6: otherwise try to keep our finances as private as possible.

1023
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 6: About six or seven years ago, my brother's family fell

1024
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 6: on some hard times. My brother forty nine male, and

1025
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 6: his wife forty six female, both lost their jobs within

1026
00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 6: a few weeks of each other, and their landlord decided

1027
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 6: to sell the property they were living in so they

1028
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 6: couldn't renew the lease. They barely had any savings and

1029
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 6: his in law set but they were not welcome to

1030
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,799
Speaker 6: stay with them. My brother approached me and asked if

1031
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 6: there was any way I could help by either lending

1032
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 6: them money, letting them rent our house, or connecting them

1033
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 6: with another agent who could help them find a place

1034
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 6: to live. My husband and I talked at length about

1035
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 6: their situation, as well as the risks and ultimately decided

1036
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 6: to offer them our rental property as our current tenant

1037
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 6: was planning to move out anyway. We drew up the

1038
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 6: standard lease contract that we offered to all tenants, but

1039
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 6: decided to waive the security deposit and wrote in that

1040
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 6: they do simple maintenance such as cutting the grass and

1041
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 6: cleaning the gutters. We even offered the house a few

1042
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 6: hundred dollars less per month than the market price for

1043
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 6: our area. Call it a family discount, since my brother

1044
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 6: would have just started at a new job and his

1045
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 6: wife was still looking. Brother and his wife signed the

1046
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 6: lease and they moved in along with their three kids

1047
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:50,880
Speaker 6: and two dogs.

1048
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 5: To respect privacy.

1049
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 6: And boundaries, we never told any of our family or

1050
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 6: friends that I was his landlord, and all of our

1051
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 6: conversations pertaining to the lease and run property were done

1052
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 6: through a business email. They paid rent on time and

1053
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 6: did the maintenance required on the house, so we never

1054
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 6: had any major issues with them as tenants. We took

1055
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 6: care of the major repairs, namely a new water here,

1056
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 6: fixing a broken pipe, and updating all the kitchen appliances,

1057
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 6: and over the six years they had rented the house,

1058
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 6: we have chosen not to raise the rent despite increases

1059
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,760
Speaker 6: in our area. This is where things start to get complicated.

1060
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 6: Our oldest daughter, eighteen female, has gone off to college

1061
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 6: this year, and we are so proud of her. She

1062
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 6: worked hard through high school, had a job, was accepted

1063
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 6: into her dream school, and won several major scholarships. We

1064
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 6: were able to pay the remaining amount of her tuition

1065
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 6: in cash from the savings account, so she will be

1066
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 6: debt free when she graduates.

1067
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:46,959
Speaker 5: Over the holidays, one.

1068
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 6: Of our out of town relatives as to how we

1069
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 6: were able to afford sending her to such an expensive school,

1070
00:50:52,200 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 6: and I had no problem gushing about how hard my

1071
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 6: daughter worked for her place. It is also no secret

1072
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 6: that we have the rental property, and I noted that

1073
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 6: it's been such a good investment over the years, since

1074
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 6: we were able to save for our children's futures. I

1075
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 6: saw my brother's face get red from across the room.

1076
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 6: He didn't say anything, just gathered up his family coats

1077
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 6: and they all left. He showed up unannounced at my

1078
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,759
Speaker 6: house a few days later and demanded to know what

1079
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 6: I had done with the money they had been using

1080
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 6: to pay rent for the last few years. I told

1081
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 6: him that if he had problems with the house or

1082
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 6: the leaves to send it to my business email, and

1083
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 6: that I would not discuss a work related matter with

1084
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 6: someone yelling on my front porch. He said this wasn't

1085
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 6: a work related matter, that this was a family matter,

1086
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 6: and that I had scammed his family out of thousands

1087
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 6: of dollars over the years, and that he wanted it back.

1088
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,040
Speaker 6: I told him if he didn't calm down, I would

1089
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 6: call the police, and he eventually left.

1090
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 2: Man, he just doesn't understand how that works. Yeah, he

1091
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,280
Speaker 2: was not scammed out of thousands of dollars.

1092
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 6: Did he think you were just gonna like save the

1093
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:54,919
Speaker 6: money and give it back to him?

1094
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: Like think just fundamentally doesn't understand how rent works. Yeah,

1095
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,080
Speaker 2: so you're saying the money I paid you to live

1096
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 2: here is yours.

1097
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 6: Now you get to use it on whatever you want.

1098
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:05,960
Speaker 2: Could I know you?

1099
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 6: You should have just given it back to me when

1100
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:08,720
Speaker 6: I moved out.

1101
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 5: You should have bought me.

1102
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 2: A house, say psych right now.

1103
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 6: Then he spammed my business email with dozens of messages

1104
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 6: saying that we had scammed them, that we owed them

1105
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 6: all the rent that they had paid plus interest, claiming

1106
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 6: the house was uninhabitable conditions and threatening to call a

1107
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 6: lawyer and sue my husband and me. I simply sent

1108
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,239
Speaker 6: back the lease that they had originally signed with each

1109
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 6: annual renewal, as well as all the documentation for repairs

1110
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 6: we had done over the years, inquiring if there was

1111
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 6: anything specific to the house that needed attention. No response.

1112
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 6: I know that this part is petty, but I also

1113
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 6: sent an appraisal from an agent stating that we could

1114
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 6: be charging one thousand dollars more for rent on the

1115
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 6: property than we actually are given the market. I told

1116
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,720
Speaker 6: him that we would not be renewing the least contract

1117
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 6: with them, and they had until the end of the

1118
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,479
Speaker 6: current contract about four months, to find somewhere else to live.

1119
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 6: I also told him that if the pestering emails didn't stop,

1120
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 6: I would consider getting a lawyer of my own and

1121
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 6: begin the eviction process before the lease was up. The

1122
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 6: emails did eventually stop. I assumed he talked to a

1123
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 6: lawyer and was told he had no case, but the

1124
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 6: conflict has not. Instead, he has now taken to telling

1125
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 6: all of our family his version of the story, and

1126
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 6: I'm getting calls left and right that I need to

1127
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,760
Speaker 6: give all the money back to him and find another

1128
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 6: way to pay for our kids college. My only defense

1129
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 6: is telling folks that he signed a lease committing to

1130
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 6: pay rent to the property owner in exchange for living

1131
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 6: in a house, no different than any other lease, and

1132
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 6: that what the owner does with the money is not

1133
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 6: the tenant's concern. I am still being told that this

1134
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 6: is different because it's family.

1135
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 5: It has been.

1136
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 6: Suggested that I either give them back all the money,

1137
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 6: continue letting them live there for free, sell them the house,

1138
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 6: and a few other suggestions that I personally think are unreasonable.

1139
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 5: One family member even.

1140
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 6: Suggested I make up for it by offering to pay

1141
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,360
Speaker 6: for his kids college tuition since he paid for mine.

1142
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 6: Suffice to say, I am not able to afford college

1143
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 6: for three more kids, even if I wanted to. We

1144
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 6: always knew that renting to a family member could have risks,

1145
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 6: but they genuinely were decent tenants up until now. I

1146
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,919
Speaker 6: am a bit concerned about the condition they will leave

1147
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 6: the house and when they move out, but at this

1148
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 6: point we're just preparing to pay for additional cleaning and

1149
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,279
Speaker 6: repairs and eat the cost if we need to.

1150
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you said, there's always the peril of renting

1151
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 2: to family because it's something like this. They just assume.

1152
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,439
Speaker 2: It's like but but like I know you, like we're

1153
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 2: like close, so like why would you actually like keep

1154
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,280
Speaker 2: on at money, Like what that's my money?

1155
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 6: And it's like it's so weird that they think that

1156
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 6: you weren't going to use it for something.

1157
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, brother, you're paying me rent.

1158
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 6: Right, we also let you live here for six years

1159
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,800
Speaker 6: without raising the rent, waved a bunch of other fees.

1160
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, just a classic. Like I just like how they're like,

1161
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:55,279
Speaker 2: don't know how good you got it?

1162
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: You use that money?

1163
00:54:56,719 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 2: How dare you right? I just you use that money.

1164
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 2: This never happens if it's someone you aren't that close with,

1165
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 2: because they don't feel entitled to it. It's the entitlement

1166
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,760
Speaker 2: coming from this guy. Yeah, it's so absurd.

1167
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 6: The family members too, it's happy that you helped your

1168
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 6: family member get to college.

1169
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's very weird, ah, very weird. The

1170
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 4: fact that me all the other family members too, were like, yeah,

1171
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 4: now you know what, you owe them a house or

1172
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 4: you pay for their kids college. You're like, I'm not

1173
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 4: renting out to them.

1174
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: Weird.

1175
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,359
Speaker 4: If I was, then sure they could do whatever they

1176
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,920
Speaker 4: want with their money.

1177
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 6: I just don't know what my brother thought we were

1178
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 6: doing with the rent money all these years, or why

1179
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 6: he's never thought about it. It's not as though we

1180
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 6: had been taking big vacations or living some extravagant lifestyle.

1181
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 6: From my position, I feel that my husband and I

1182
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 6: have worked hard to position ourselves well financially, while my

1183
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 6: brother has not, and it's his and his wife's responsibility

1184
00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 6: to plan for their future. This whole situation has gotten

1185
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 6: so blown out of proportion that I'm starting to wish

1186
00:55:57,719 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 6: we hadn't let them live there in the first place.

1187
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 5: Hello, oh read it?

1188
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 6: Am I to a hole for letting my brother rent

1189
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 6: from me and then using that money to pay for

1190
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 6: my kids college? We have some comments but no, no, no, no,

1191
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,160
Speaker 6: you even gave him like the sweetheart rent deal.

1192
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 3: Yeah so no.

1193
00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 6: Commenter one says, well, guess what idiots are going to

1194
00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 6: have surprise speakachu face when looking for another rental. The

1195
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 6: entitlement here is off the radar. Comment to this is

1196
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:27,399
Speaker 6: where you messed up the noise cousin getting in your

1197
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,120
Speaker 6: business and asking how you can afford a good college,

1198
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,399
Speaker 6: not at her business, and you never should have brought

1199
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 6: up the rental property that is really none of her business.

1200
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 6: Family is such a trip, so you spilled all of

1201
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 6: your business and that is what your brother heard all

1202
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 6: of this giving him his money back is crazy and

1203
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,319
Speaker 6: a lulu. He needs to move out and figure it

1204
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 6: out asap. Yelling and emailing is not adult or mature

1205
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 6: thing to do. And that is the end of that story.

1206
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:53,359
Speaker 2: Hey y'all, it's John Ogi host here.

1207
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1208
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1209
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 6: My fiance always chooses his mom first and now I

1210
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 6: feel like a third wheel.

1211
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,720
Speaker 8: This should not even be a think.

1212
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 6: Uh My twenty seven female fiance thirty one male is

1213
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,799
Speaker 6: the eldest. He has a brother twenty seven male who

1214
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,239
Speaker 6: doesn't have a significant other and never has. I met

1215
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 6: my fiance four and a half years ago and it

1216
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 6: was the same.

1217
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 5: Story with him.

1218
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 6: I now see why I met my fiance on Facebook

1219
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 6: and it was his first relationship.

1220
00:57:25,480 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 2: Two red flax.

1221
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes around Bepi and Heidi And

1222
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 6: if you want to meet your own stories, go to

1223
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,280
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime Subredda. I'm Carly, I'm Riley,

1224
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 6: and we're here to give good advice, goofy, but we

1225
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,919
Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

1226
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 6: would do. Let's know what you would do in the comments,

1227
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 6: and we're the lees.

1228
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's true.

1229
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 6: When I first met his mom and dad, I thought

1230
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 6: they were lovely. He stayed with his brother and the parents'

1231
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 6: mortgaged home. Parents stayed in another house that came with

1232
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 6: the dad's job. I didn't notice anything odd until a

1233
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 6: year into our relationship, when we got our house together.

1234
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 6: He made it out so normally about getting her key cut.

1235
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 6: I wasn't happy because this wouldn't just be his house,

1236
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:08,640
Speaker 6: it was mine too, and that he was away to

1237
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 6: get her a key when I hadn't even been consulted

1238
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 6: about the concept of her having a key, but they

1239
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:20,400
Speaker 6: obviously had. I put my foot down and he got

1240
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 6: over it after a while. We got that house in

1241
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 6: June twenty twenty two, and ever since then, every single

1242
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 6: weekend and day he isn't working all day, he goes

1243
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 6: out to their house. Only then did I realize it

1244
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 6: was a bit off from normal families. She is always

1245
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 6: pinging his phone, beckoning him around for the most stupid things.

1246
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 6: Hanging flower baskets, dispose of yard waste, come see some

1247
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 6: new decor chores that are shared between him and his brother,

1248
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 6: while I said at home with health issues and our

1249
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 6: own needs abandoned.

1250
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 8: Ooh, my grandfather kind of did this for a little bit, not.

1251
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:57,560
Speaker 2: With his mom and go over, but he would. He

1252
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:58,440
Speaker 2: would go out.

1253
00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 8: After work and hang out with this like fan buddies,

1254
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 8: while my grandma stayed at home with the kids, and

1255
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 8: she was like, I'm gonna stop cooking for you until

1256
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 8: you come home and hang out with me.

1257
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 3: Good.

1258
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 5: Good.

1259
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 6: He is also panicking every month about having no money

1260
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 6: when his bank account goes into triple figures because before

1261
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 6: this house, I had money and could buy whatever I wanted.

1262
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 6: He has no independent thoughts. He has to consult her

1263
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 6: about everything, and I know she is tainting us and

1264
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 6: rocking the boat with what she'll tell him. Him and

1265
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:30,440
Speaker 6: I can make decisions on things. Then a day or

1266
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 6: so later, he'll do a one to eighty because Mom

1267
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 6: said no, or Mom doesn't think it's a good idea.

1268
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, even though it would be our own

1269
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,960
Speaker 6: responsibilities or finances and questions nothing to.

1270
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 3: Do with her.

1271
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 6: Yet they paid off his truck's finance. Then another family

1272
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 6: member lent him money to get me a new car. Oh,

1273
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 6: and only a car that mom would agree on, as

1274
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 6: my car broke down and wasn't worth sorting. Then I

1275
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,880
Speaker 6: just get told I'm responsible for paying back the MO

1276
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 6: and dad for paying off his truck and he'll pay

1277
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 6: for my car.

1278
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, dude, you're in a poly relationship. Yeah, it is

1279
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 8: weird emotionally not physically, I hope.

1280
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 2: I hope not.

1281
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 3: Dude.

1282
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 6: I had a mental breakdown at the start of the

1283
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 6: year and they paid for me to have a month

1284
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 6: of therapy, something not discussed with me but pre agreed

1285
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:22,919
Speaker 6: by him with them. So now I owe them more

1286
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 6: for that. The dad retired in February, and within three

1287
01:00:26,360 --> 01:00:29,680
Speaker 6: months of them moving into their mortgaged house, they blew

1288
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:33,720
Speaker 6: their entire savings twenty one K on a new kitchen

1289
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 6: and garden slab. Oh no, now they have his brother

1290
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:41,439
Speaker 6: paying their new car and the deposit for it as

1291
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 6: they still don't know when the dad's pension will be through.

1292
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 8: Oh gosh, she.

1293
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 6: Is always messaging him or calling him, guilt tripping him

1294
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 6: and putting pressure on him about the money we owe

1295
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 6: them because they are now struggling which makes the financial

1296
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 6: pressure of our own come back to me. The only

1297
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 6: money they see is on bear necessities in shopping. I

1298
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 6: work twenty six hours a week, have numerous health and

1299
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 6: physical issues that cause this. I just managed to pay

1300
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 6: my fiance my share of the bills and in extra

1301
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 6: hundred dollars a month. He earns more than twice as

1302
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 6: much as me, but is paying back my car that

1303
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 6: As stated earlier, I wasn't involved in the agreement of

1304
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 6: I hate weekends or when he has holidays, because he

1305
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 6: goes out to their's first thing in the morning and

1306
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 6: will return maybe just before supper, and walk in like

1307
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:33,640
Speaker 6: he hasn't been gone all day.

1308
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 5: Does he like doing this?

1309
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 3: Does he yeah?

1310
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:37,360
Speaker 6: Does he not want to hang out with you?

1311
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,000
Speaker 2: Is he forced through this? Or does he like actually

1312
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 2: enjoy it?

1313
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 6: I feel like it's probably like he thinks it's out

1314
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 6: of obligation. Maybe he doesn't realize he doesn't have to

1315
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 6: do it anymore.

1316
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 2: Oh he can't say no.

1317
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,640
Speaker 6: Maybe I don't even think he realizes he can.

1318
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 2: It's not an option.

1319
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, abandoning plans and texts of our own to be

1320
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 6: there all day every day. He doesn't have work, he's there.

1321
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 6: I spend all all that time at home feeling neglected, abandoned,

1322
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 6: and worthless. She won't get a job, as she has

1323
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 6: been out of work for so long, but I know

1324
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 6: in fact it's been because she doesn't want to not

1325
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:13,919
Speaker 6: have the freedom of time to message him, need him, etc.

1326
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 6: She has her own husband, her other son who she

1327
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 6: isn't as bad with, and her many siblings. I only

1328
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 6: have my fiance. I've told him that if their finances

1329
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 6: are that bad, she would get a job. So unless

1330
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 6: she gets a job, I don't want her messaging him

1331
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 6: going on about it. Yeah, then he said casually. She

1332
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 6: has money tucked away in stocks from when her first

1333
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:42,400
Speaker 6: husband had a fatal work accident. Fatal work accident, Huh,

1334
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 6: she had a big insurance policy on that one.

1335
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 8: She probably did, or she already spent that money.

1336
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 6: So what has all the guilty and whining been about?

1337
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 6: And the brother paying their car? I don't see them

1338
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 6: or speak to them hardly, because she always speaks to

1339
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,000
Speaker 6: me in a way that comes across as making me

1340
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 6: guilty for my disabilities, limited energy for housework, money, or

1341
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 6: my clothing being branded I use vintage, et cetera. Because

1342
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 6: he is obviously going to be telling her everything or

1343
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 6: being asked about everything. Twice I've had to have an

1344
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 6: emergency tooth extraction separate times, and he has literally walked

1345
01:03:17,640 --> 01:03:20,160
Speaker 6: me into the door and said bye, remember to take

1346
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 6: your tablets and gone out the door to theirs, leaving

1347
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 6: me with this sore, bloody mouth and emotionally needing someone.

1348
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 6: So you had surgery and he left.

1349
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 2: Why are you all together?

1350
01:03:33,120 --> 01:03:34,160
Speaker 6: Yeah? Why are we doing this?

1351
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 3: And can we get an exit plan?

1352
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:39,240
Speaker 8: I'm saying a lot of things that aren't really healthy,

1353
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 8: endless relationship.

1354
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 6: Everything bad is coming from this man. Well, not having

1355
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 6: a backbone against his parents, Like yeah, that true. He

1356
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 6: leaves her for everything he does have We talked to

1357
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 6: him about this, that would change a lot.

1358
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 8: I think every time it's brought up, it's why are

1359
01:03:57,240 --> 01:03:59,040
Speaker 8: you making me feel this way while you make me

1360
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 8: feel bad for you out my mom? YadA YadA, YadA, YadA, YadA,

1361
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 8: YadA YadA.

1362
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 5: He needs a reality check.

1363
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:08,520
Speaker 8: Also, I think she needs a reality check, I opes Op.

1364
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,160
Speaker 6: I think Op needs the reality check of why are

1365
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 6: we with this man? If he's not going to be changed,

1366
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 6: That's what I'm saying. Unless we've had yeah, and if

1367
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 6: we especially if we've had the conversation about like, I

1368
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 6: feel really hurt.

1369
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 8: And OPI you are very dependent on your husband that's

1370
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:27,440
Speaker 8: not giving you any like, you know, attention. Can we

1371
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 8: get friends? Can we find some friends maybe? I know

1372
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 8: you have like a lot of things kind of going

1373
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:34,040
Speaker 8: against you. Can we find someone, like a little support

1374
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 8: group outside of your husband.

1375
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:37,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

1376
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 8: We need exit plan. I mean I don't It doesn't

1377
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 8: sound like guys have talked about either talk or fund

1378
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:43,920
Speaker 8: exit plan.

1379
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 6: Something, something backup, so you at least have support.

1380
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1381
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 6: Also, you can't be left after surgeries.

1382
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 2: You can't like like, I don't care, You're not You're

1383
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:54,840
Speaker 2: not good.

1384
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 5: I don't care.

1385
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 6: If it was a tooth extraction, it was still an

1386
01:04:57,480 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 6: emergency and that's still a lot.

1387
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:01,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, what are they doing over there?

1388
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 6: I got a nose job in December, financed and I'm

1389
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 6: paying for that. They don't know about because in his

1390
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 6: own words, it's not worth the hassle and commotion it cause,

1391
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 6: oh what he managed two days postop of being with me,

1392
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 6: I had to have someone with me at all times

1393
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 6: the first week before something cropped up that he had

1394
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 6: to nip up there for my eyes were both black

1395
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,600
Speaker 6: and swollen shut. I couldn't eat and had to have

1396
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 6: help drinking. He went out to a friend's birthday at

1397
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:32,320
Speaker 6: three pm this Saturday night, then never messaged or came home.

1398
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 6: I messaged him, numering numerous times, asking where he was

1399
01:05:36,640 --> 01:05:40,560
Speaker 6: and if he was okay. He replied after eight am

1400
01:05:40,640 --> 01:05:44,440
Speaker 6: on Sunday morning, just saying mom and Dad's of course,

1401
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 6: then never returned until two pm.

1402
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:49,320
Speaker 5: Instead of getting them.

1403
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 6: To give him a lift home to sleep in his

1404
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 6: own bed, he went back to theirs and slept on

1405
01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 6: the sofa and didn't even let me know. Oh lordy,

1406
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 6: you know it's crazy though, that she didn't even have

1407
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 6: to think, like, maybe she's out cheating on me and

1408
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:05,880
Speaker 6: staying at another woman's. You genuinely could so easily believe, Yeah,

1409
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 6: he's probably just at his mom and.

1410
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 3: Mommy.

1411
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:11,320
Speaker 7: Uh.

1412
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 6: I didn't speak with him at all until night, when

1413
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,120
Speaker 6: the cat knocked something over in the bath while I

1414
01:06:16,160 --> 01:06:18,720
Speaker 6: was bathing, and he called through like everything was fine.

1415
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 6: What's the silly rascal done?

1416
01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:20,959
Speaker 3: Now?

1417
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 6: Now it's my day off and I've spent it entirely

1418
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:25,600
Speaker 6: crying because of.

1419
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 3: How awful I feel. He left for.

1420
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,360
Speaker 6: Work at seven am. And won't be back until after

1421
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 6: six pm unless he nips around to theirs first on

1422
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,720
Speaker 6: his way home, which is starting to become more regular.

1423
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 6: She has and still is bringing him up to be

1424
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 6: completely reliant on her, have no survival for adult life

1425
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 6: and adulthood, and I feel the only way she's made

1426
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:50,080
Speaker 6: out to him that it can ever get better is

1427
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 6: if I am gone. What if our house is sold

1428
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:57,680
Speaker 6: and if he can move back with them and build

1429
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:58,760
Speaker 6: up his money again?

1430
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 5: All Right, that's probably can't be around this guy.

1431
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 3: Crazy. He better not believe those anyway, Dude.

1432
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 6: Everything he'll tell her, I know her solutions or answers

1433
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:12,480
Speaker 6: would involve know me and no house together. I know

1434
01:07:12,520 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 6: I've missed out on a lot more, but this is

1435
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 6: the quick rundown advice on how to deal with this.

1436
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:18,040
Speaker 3: Please.

1437
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,640
Speaker 6: He is the most wonderful, caring man outside of this.

1438
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 6: All this has stainted at all, and she won't give

1439
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 6: him the time or space to be my fiance. Quick

1440
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:31,200
Speaker 6: edit to add because of this, I've started resenting him, yo,

1441
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 6: and we have an update. I spoke to him, okay,

1442
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:38,440
Speaker 6: told him exactly how I feel the enmeshment relationship he

1443
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:40,920
Speaker 6: has with her, the lack of boundaries and how she

1444
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:43,640
Speaker 6: hasn't allowed him to grow outside of the sun she

1445
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:47,040
Speaker 6: always had to herself when he was younger. I identify

1446
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:50,040
Speaker 6: the issues and also how he can resolve them. He

1447
01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 6: apologized and said he would try his best to work

1448
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:53,080
Speaker 6: on those.

1449
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 2: Okay, this is not gonna happen.

1450
01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:58,480
Speaker 6: Consulting me first with our things instead of her, and

1451
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:00,920
Speaker 6: that he can call her after words and anything she

1452
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,720
Speaker 6: needs can wait for Saturdays where he can go there

1453
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 6: all day, but some days will be for us. If

1454
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,520
Speaker 6: she messages him or calls him. After he calls her,

1455
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:14,160
Speaker 6: he will say we'll speak tomorrow as spending time with

1456
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,360
Speaker 6: me or catching up on housework, and will do the

1457
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 6: jobs Saturday. I feel like we should also, in this moment,

1458
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 6: set the consequences of what happens if he doesn't follow

1459
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,479
Speaker 6: through of like, hey, and I'm really starting to resent you,

1460
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 6: so like, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep

1461
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 6: doing this if we don't see a.

1462
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:30,240
Speaker 3: Change kind of thing.

1463
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 6: I think it risky this early on.

1464
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:37,680
Speaker 2: Maybe announce this and then if it keeps happening.

1465
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 6: A yeah, yeah, but I know what you want them

1466
01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 6: to be at.

1467
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:44,720
Speaker 8: Least, yeah, it's just a try that shouldn't be in

1468
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 8: his vocabulary right now, it's I will, I will, I

1469
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:47,720
Speaker 8: got you.

1470
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 6: I also told him I will not be implicated in

1471
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:53,240
Speaker 6: a debt to them, because this wasn't run past me.

1472
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 6: I said, I'd happily pay my car to the family

1473
01:08:56,160 --> 01:08:59,760
Speaker 6: member instead, as that is my debt. We will not

1474
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 6: be accepting any money or anything from them, and I

1475
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:04,720
Speaker 6: am in no way liable for any death as I

1476
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:08,280
Speaker 6: didn't sign anything. We're also going to start couple's therapy

1477
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:11,200
Speaker 6: so we both have support through this. I'll not be

1478
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:14,479
Speaker 6: giving him any extra money. I already have set up

1479
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 6: a secret account that he doesn't know about.

1480
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 2: Good job.

1481
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 6: I will give the therapy time, but if there's no change,

1482
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:22,439
Speaker 6: or if he goes back on it, I'll be walking.

1483
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:25,320
Speaker 6: He can then either buy me out or do a

1484
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 6: force of sale. And that is the end of that story. Girl,

1485
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 6: So you know what you want at least like she's

1486
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,559
Speaker 6: got what the consequences are in her head.

1487
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 8: Ooh, this is just not a fun spot to be in.

1488
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 3: No, not at all.

1489
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:41,960
Speaker 8: Oh man, Oh, be freaking good luck on that.

1490
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:44,599
Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's the end of this story.