Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 3: much baggage you claim and give us time and they
Speaker 3: terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 1: Do you wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all
Speaker 1: about it? We scared? Or was it fine? Malborn? Do
Speaker 1: you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do
Speaker 1: you need to ride? Do your need to ride? Do
Speaker 1: you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Ride with Karen and Chris.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Chris.
Speaker 5: Fairbanks and this is Karen Tilgareth the entire way. You know,
Speaker 5: I do a lot of research whenever we have a guest.
Speaker 5: I read the sheet and I was reminded of today's
Speaker 5: guests comic book called Minor Threats, which made me listen
Speaker 5: to Minor.
Speaker 2: Threat the whole way nice, which is.
Speaker 6: High octane, high energy punk rock, punk rock, which.
Speaker 2: You know I'm into now.
Speaker 1: Is that your new thing? Punk rock?
Speaker 5: It has to sort of be, because I've been practicing.
Speaker 5: I had another Curb Dogs show and we yes, I'd
Speaker 5: say that so hesitantly. But I do karaoke with a
Speaker 5: live band of songs. None of you have ever heard
Speaker 5: of except for the Dinosaur Junior one probably, and I
Speaker 5: need to listen to it to get into that mode.
Speaker 2: It helped.
Speaker 5: And then we rehearsed more than once this last time,
Speaker 5: and that helped a lot. Yeah, and the audience was
Speaker 5: all fifty something skateboarders, which really really helped.
Speaker 1: Man, I have to go to those shows.
Speaker 5: I yeah, we have yet to do one that isn't
Speaker 5: somewhere in Montana or Washington at a skate park opening.
Speaker 5: But this was in a town called Big Sandy, which
Speaker 5: can't even be a thousand people.
Speaker 2: Big Sandy, Montana.
Speaker 5: It's where one of the Montana senators is from and
Speaker 5: where Jeff meant from Pearl Jam is from Nice. And
Speaker 5: so once we hit this little town driving around, I
Speaker 5: just was thinking of Jeff as a little kid, thinking, oh,
Speaker 5: I want to be a rock star one day in
Speaker 5: this town that is.
Speaker 2: Eight blocks wide and high.
Speaker 5: And then all of a sudden, there he was on
Speaker 5: a bike, and oh, yeah, he was just adult Jeff
Speaker 5: Man riding a bike around, reminiscing about when he was
Speaker 5: a child riding a bike around.
Speaker 1: So he moved back to his hometown, or maybe never
Speaker 1: moved out.
Speaker 2: He goes back.
Speaker 5: He lives a few places I think because Pearl Jam
Speaker 5: I think makes good money for him.
Speaker 2: I bet they do.
Speaker 6: I bet they do.
Speaker 5: And no, he's got like a skate team with little
Speaker 5: kids in the area that skate for his team. It's
Speaker 5: quite wholesome and fun. And then we played a loud
Speaker 5: show in a bar. So I've been listening to punk
Speaker 5: rock and that is my story that I've started on
Speaker 5: this episode of Do You Need a Ride?
Speaker 2: Great story, thank you.
Speaker 1: I think at the end it kind of went down.
Speaker 1: He did well energy wise. I think it was still
Speaker 1: very compelling.
Speaker 5: Well, there's a lot of pressure with stories at the
Speaker 5: end because we're comics to have a big closing statement.
Speaker 1: What would you be doing, sir?
Speaker 2: Like what?
Speaker 1: He wasn't turning the wheel at all. He was just
Speaker 1: coming into me.
Speaker 5: There was no reason for him to turn that wide.
Speaker 5: That car was twenty feet away. He just wanted to
Speaker 5: kiss our lane to feel like what.
Speaker 2: It felt like.
Speaker 1: It looked like he was looking at this huge median
Speaker 1: blocker like he was thinking about driving over it to
Speaker 1: get to go left, like you wanted to go left
Speaker 1: so bad. He was just going to drive through some
Speaker 1: bushes to do it.
Speaker 5: I like to give people the benefit of a doubt
Speaker 5: or the doubt or any doubt age doubt.
Speaker 2: Perhaps he was having a medical emergency.
Speaker 5: His mouth was foaming, he was biting on a belt,
Speaker 5: and that makes you take a wide turn. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: wish him well, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I don't, you don't.
Speaker 1: I was more like, I'll kill you la style, yeah,
Speaker 1: road rage.
Speaker 2: Style, or you just do it with your eyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just kind of like any chance to kind
Speaker 1: of get bad feeling going about your fellow man in
Speaker 1: another car who might be making a mistake, just jump
Speaker 1: on that chance, because it just makes your life awful.
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, that was one thing I got used to
Speaker 5: in Los Angeles. That kind of aggression doesn't usually go anywhere.
Speaker 5: People get very they'll honk their horn, they'll flip you off,
Speaker 5: which in Montana means both cars are going to pull
Speaker 5: over and you're gonna square off on the dirt shoulder
Speaker 5: the soft shoulder, and people get real hard on the
Speaker 5: soft shoulder when it comes to WHOA, I'm still I
Speaker 5: have terrible memories.
Speaker 1: That's kind of funny because Los Angeles being how it is.
Speaker 1: You're right, it's all fake threats from people who have
Speaker 1: no intention of ever getting out of their car to
Speaker 1: fight you or really to do anything.
Speaker 2: I'm start get home.
Speaker 5: I'm starting to not even believe a lot on the
Speaker 5: like NWA lyrics and rap groups.
Speaker 2: I grew up listening to you.
Speaker 1: You think they were lying?
Speaker 2: I think ice Cube was always are we there yet?
Speaker 4: Ice Cube?
Speaker 5: I don't think caps were busted ever, And I hope
Speaker 5: you're listening.
Speaker 1: Cube, Oh my god, Cube, if you're listening, I love you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean I wanted your approval when we were both
Speaker 5: on the same Conan episode, but I ended up just
Speaker 5: talking to Wayne Gratsky the.
Speaker 1: Idea that you would. I mean, it's very natural to
Speaker 1: want approval from ice Cube, yes, but to expect it,
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 5: That's I did not expect it. I went into it
Speaker 5: with low expectations. And once he walked down the hall
Speaker 5: and I saw his eyebrows that are just like a
Speaker 5: caricature drawing of ice Cube.
Speaker 2: They are not welcoming.
Speaker 5: They are furrowed right, and they come up in the
Speaker 5: middle at the top of his nose and curl up,
Speaker 5: and it seems like.
Speaker 1: And he also has those flared nostrils can like consistently
Speaker 1: flared nostrils. He does absolutely look like he's waiting for
Speaker 1: a fight at any point, and of course, being the
Speaker 1: person I am, I really love that. I relate to it.
Speaker 1: I love a resting bitch face. I love the energy
Speaker 1: of shut the fuck up. It's my favorite.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it'll stop me from going Hi. I'm a
Speaker 5: big fan because he doesn't need to hear that.
Speaker 1: But did you did anyone tell you? Did he watch
Speaker 1: your set? Like when it was all I.
Speaker 2: Doubt he probably was in and out. I didn't watch
Speaker 2: his set.
Speaker 1: Wait. I mean that's understandable because you can't, like five
Speaker 1: minutes before you do stand up caality on TV, you
Speaker 1: can't hear or see anything.
Speaker 5: And I remember you called me before that set and said,
Speaker 5: very reassure you got this, you belong there, you know
Speaker 5: what you're doing. I did, yes, and we were just
Speaker 5: getting to know each other at the time, right, So
Speaker 5: thank you for that.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I meant it.
Speaker 5: I'm afraid it didn't work as nervous as hell, but
Speaker 5: I appreciate.
Speaker 1: But the nervousness is good because it's the it's the
Speaker 1: engine you had it. That set is legendary. The sweater
Speaker 1: was legendary.
Speaker 5: I was doubting that sweater, and I right before I
Speaker 5: went through the curtains, I looked at just the guy
Speaker 5: that works on the crew that was his job in
Speaker 5: that moment to open the curtain, and he had a
Speaker 5: headset and like, I'm gonna take that sweater off, and
Speaker 5: he's like, you keep that sweater off, very much approof
Speaker 5: of the sweater, and it gave me that final boost
Speaker 5: of confidence.
Speaker 2: I hated the.
Speaker 1: Unsung crew members on shows daily shows where people it's
Speaker 1: so hard. On talk shows, it's hard work. People are
Speaker 1: under pressure constantly. It's very hard to make a show
Speaker 1: every day, and there are crew members like that. They
Speaker 1: understand that, especially stand up comics like a crew member
Speaker 1: on Conan would understand this is like a chance is
Speaker 1: being given. There's a lot of pressure, but they know
Speaker 1: that ultimately it's like you're here to do what you do.
Speaker 1: You got picked because you're good. But the idea that
Speaker 1: they're then conveying that to you like you've got this, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just love that. Or I felt I had the
Speaker 1: same experience with those with the crew on Conan, where
Speaker 1: they're just like, there, you do it, and they they
Speaker 1: allow you to kind of like entertain them. They're not
Speaker 1: like jaded or looking down or anything. They're in it
Speaker 1: with you.
Speaker 4: It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were, and they know what they're doing.
Speaker 5: When I the first thing I did was Kimmel and
Speaker 5: that was a new show.
Speaker 2: It was live with like a radio delay.
Speaker 5: Button and there was a you had to walk out
Speaker 5: on a catwalk that wasn't even near the audience. They
Speaker 5: could choose to wrench their neck ninety degrees to look
Speaker 5: at you or just not look at you, which most
Speaker 5: of them did. And at the last minute, Super Dave
Speaker 5: Osborne went too long with something and the guy, instead
Speaker 5: of saying, hey, that's a nice sweater, said hey, can
Speaker 5: you do a couple minutes less or come back tomorrow.
Speaker 5: I don't even think it was his call. And I
Speaker 5: said I can't. I have to leave town tomorrow, and
Speaker 5: he's like, okay, just do less time, and so I
Speaker 5: did different jokes and the prompter person was freaking out
Speaker 5: and pointing out the cards as if I was had
Speaker 5: lost my mind, and they bleeped me like a whole sentence.
Speaker 5: I thought it went well. I went to a bar
Speaker 5: to watch it and it was just like, because.
Speaker 1: You were talking about something you can't talk about.
Speaker 5: I don't fully remember, but I didn't swear, and they
Speaker 5: beat it like I said, shit, fuck ass poop.
Speaker 1: Well huh, I wonder if you were talking about like
Speaker 1: an area that.
Speaker 2: The said Jesus oh as an exploited.
Speaker 1: But also that's so ridiculous that the stage manager would
Speaker 1: be the one saying, can you do extra time?
Speaker 2: Exactly?
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying, like it was his call, and
Speaker 5: I don't think it is his call.
Speaker 1: Well, but it would unless him doing that independently would
Speaker 1: not be happening. It's the director talking through him.
Speaker 5: Oh perhaps, Oh yeah, well then I'd feel better. But
Speaker 5: I'm about to make a noise. Oh that was a
Speaker 5: bodily function. A lot of people think I'm opening a soda,
Speaker 5: but that was one of Chris's specialty fart. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: I have natures and that was one of my specialty signatures.
Speaker 1: Called the barbecue.
Speaker 2: Loves to play Frisbee or corn Ole.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the barbecue, speaking corn this. Okay, wait, what's
Speaker 1: the address?
Speaker 5: I looked at it on Google Maps and so I
Speaker 5: will know what it looks like.
Speaker 4: You did.
Speaker 2: Okay, I think it might be here on.
Speaker 1: The right, and it is okay, great, this is it free?
Speaker 2: So yeah, I do my research. I look at a
Speaker 2: picture of the home.
Speaker 1: Creepy.
Speaker 2: Excuse me. That was a quick pickup, Yes, it was.
Speaker 2: My fear is.
Speaker 5: That I've said everything I've said in the past because
Speaker 5: I haven't patent to our our audience.
Speaker 2: But it's been decades and by that I mean five.
Speaker 5: Six years since I retold that last story.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't even remember that last story.
Speaker 2: Okay, good yeah, yeah, yeah, good good.
Speaker 1: That means to me, I'll immediately start criticizing you if
Speaker 1: you're doing something incorrect.
Speaker 5: And I'm constantly in a state of fear because and
Speaker 5: I thank you.
Speaker 1: It's great for podcasting, it is.
Speaker 2: It is. What would a mobile podcast be without fear.
Speaker 1: Without fear and pressure? Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5: He does clubs and colleges across the country.
Speaker 4: Everyone Alex Bennett.
Speaker 1: Got up at to go down Alex Bennett or just
Speaker 1: stay We're going on like everyone else on the show.
Speaker 4: Depending, Hi guys.
Speaker 6: Hi Pat are you still coming from Teluca Lake or
Speaker 6: have you moved?
Speaker 4: Karen?
Speaker 1: I am also now where I am in the same
Speaker 1: city you live in?
Speaker 4: What Yes, we're like two minutes from each other.
Speaker 6: Yes, everyone lives you. Seth Green and his wife lived
Speaker 6: down here. Flannagan lives here. I like Seth Green, Seth Green.
Speaker 6: Zoe Lister Jones is down the street. I see her
Speaker 6: out on my walks, on my perambulations that you do
Speaker 6: when you're fifty four.
Speaker 1: And you got to move that.
Speaker 4: There are a lot of flat streets here, a nice
Speaker 4: flat ones. Noway, then I'll do that. It's my ankle.
Speaker 1: My ankles can't do those hills.
Speaker 4: I can go uphill, fight the downhill.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yeah, you're not yours. We're all warned
Speaker 2: about going down.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And where are you living now, Chris?
Speaker 2: I am thank you for asking that you.
Speaker 5: I was in Venice Beach for like seventeen years, and
Speaker 5: I now live in Echo Park where they shot the
Speaker 5: movie Training Day, right on those streets. Yeah, right where
Speaker 5: Denzel's yelling at Ethan Hawk while they're front in front
Speaker 5: of my garages.
Speaker 6: So you went, you went from both ends of the
Speaker 6: Bohemian spectrum, Vennis and then Echo Park.
Speaker 2: Yes, I really yeah.
Speaker 5: And I find it's covered to be friendlier and more
Speaker 5: of a community. I love where I live.
Speaker 4: Oh it's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's terrific.
Speaker 4: The only thing I need to do.
Speaker 6: If we could stop by Flair Cleaners on Laurel Canyon,
Speaker 6: I'm going down there to all right.
Speaker 4: Otherwise, let's just drive around.
Speaker 6: Hell yeah, maybe go further up north Laurel Canyon to
Speaker 6: where it's weird.
Speaker 1: Should we go?
Speaker 4: Where do you want to go?
Speaker 1: I mean we could go there. We could also go
Speaker 1: down mulholland we could do a little classic La drive.
Speaker 1: Come around.
Speaker 4: You're so right, let's do Should we do that? God?
Speaker 4: Damn it? Yes, that's way better. You know what? Fuck it?
Speaker 6: Make a left, I'll go. I can get Flair Cleaners tomorrow.
Speaker 6: I got all day open.
Speaker 2: We can do both.
Speaker 1: We can do both.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can do it.
Speaker 4: Well, let's do Mohan and we loop back around. We'll
Speaker 4: grab it.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about David Lynch movies, and then we'll
Speaker 2: go get your suits press. When did you get it done?
Speaker 2: At the dry cleaners?
Speaker 6: A bunch of shirts and a couple of them. I
Speaker 6: had some labels removed because they have those. The gap
Speaker 6: puts like fifteen unnecessary labels down on the right scene yep,
Speaker 6: and they're just flapping around and smack and you when
Speaker 6: you're walking around like, what is though?
Speaker 2: That was Karen's call. Actually she used to work at
Speaker 2: the Gap.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for real, please explain to people how to
Speaker 1: iron this over and over in every language that you
Speaker 1: can come up with.
Speaker 6: And then let's also have a pocket with spare buttons
Speaker 6: in it for no reason. Yeah, because, as you know,
Speaker 6: twenty somethings love to darn and sew.
Speaker 4: That's what they always do.
Speaker 2: I have never ever used those spare.
Speaker 6: Button No, no, why are you giving If I lose
Speaker 6: a button.
Speaker 4: It's lost?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Or also you can just open your drunk drawer and
Speaker 1: find like a kind of purlescent button to replace it.
Speaker 4: Exactly.
Speaker 1: They're not rareer. Although thank you to the Gap for
Speaker 1: even being that considerate, because you would think that they
Speaker 1: would be like, get your own buttons, right, yeah, but
Speaker 1: they're not.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and they also wanted to give gen X the
Speaker 6: illusion that we were somehow self reliant. Here here's what
Speaker 6: we've also added a little sew ink it great. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 6: I'll be getting rid of this as well.
Speaker 5: Take the needle, the tiny tomato pin cushion, and do
Speaker 5: what all your grandma's taught you.
Speaker 6: Well, I have a thumb ring with a little mushroom
Speaker 6: cat that I that I needle pointed, and that's where
Speaker 6: I keep all my supplies.
Speaker 5: I wonder I would like to know on a calendar
Speaker 5: when the last time a thimble was used.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1: I mean down at a like Milton Edies, you know
Speaker 1: where they do at alterations twenty four hours. That's one
Speaker 1: of my favorite things. I used to live by and listener.
Speaker 1: Milton Edies is a very famous kind of Hollywood in Burbank, Yeah, Taylor,
Speaker 1: where you can go there twenty four hours a day
Speaker 1: and get your ship fixed, although it'll cost you eighty
Speaker 1: dollars minimum no matter what is.
Speaker 6: Yes, but I bet they get a lot of meth
Speaker 6: heads that at two am decide to go through their closets. Yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm gonna reorganize, gonna alter some things, Yeah, and they
Speaker 6: take them off. I used to go to Milton Eaties
Speaker 6: all the time, to the point where I just stopped
Speaker 6: eating that goddamn popcorn that because I would eat it
Speaker 6: and then I would just have greasy fingers and then
Speaker 6: get my clothes all messed up again like an idiot.
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember Danny Sebaios for do I remember
Speaker 1: a true legend?
Speaker 2: I remember the name, and I don't even know Danny Si.
Speaker 4: He was. Oh boy, he's the.
Speaker 1: Greatest non stand up comic hangout person in our group.
Speaker 6: Yeah. He was one of the there's that weird subgroup
Speaker 6: of the non comics that are just as funny as
Speaker 6: the comics.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was that guy. And him when he and
Speaker 1: his wife Sarah got married, I was a bridesmaid and
Speaker 1: and she she asked me to be a bridesmaid, which
Speaker 1: is really nice. And of course six months prior when
Speaker 1: she asked me, we all want to try on bridesmaid's dresses.
Speaker 1: And I was so embarrassed because I mean it was
Speaker 1: like not just strapless and sleeveless, but it like it
Speaker 1: only just hooked around your neck, like it was high
Speaker 1: pressure of kind of bridesmaid challenge. And so I left.
Speaker 4: They were challenged dresses.
Speaker 1: They were challenged dresses of what do you actually want
Speaker 1: to look like when you show up for this thing?
Speaker 1: So I immediately went on the most intense starvation diet,
Speaker 1: to the point where when I walked in for the wedding,
Speaker 1: all the people that knew me went, oh.
Speaker 6: Oh god, whoa okay, Karen, Karen, Karen juice, let me
Speaker 6: check your get her assaline and po right down.
Speaker 1: But I had to take that dress. So I was
Speaker 1: doing it thinking, oh, hopefully I can just like my
Speaker 1: arms will be slightly smaller.
Speaker 4: Whatever.
Speaker 1: I had to take that dress into Milton Eaties and
Speaker 1: get it. This woman's like folding the things over going,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, why did you buy the dress so big?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I can't explain this now, I can't
Speaker 1: talk to you about this.
Speaker 2: Wo look at this ankle rolling vista.
Speaker 1: Get up there, climb up there, you little goats.
Speaker 4: I remember Karen and I were in Seattle for some reason.
Speaker 4: I was opening for you or was it bumber.
Speaker 7: Shoes would say great word to say in Terry Lewis,
Speaker 7: But Danny would do this character called the Contessa and
Speaker 7: it was this old like wealthy dowager and are you
Speaker 7: people dumb?
Speaker 4: And we were. We were in some.
Speaker 6: Vintage clothing store and we saw a hat and we
Speaker 6: both went the Contessa and we bought it and we
Speaker 6: brought it back for him. I just remember like that,
Speaker 6: that's how funny.
Speaker 1: That guy was that because normally the hat that he
Speaker 1: would make would be like a napkin he would pick up.
Speaker 1: Where we were at a party at Laura Milligan's house
Speaker 1: and he would just pick a napkin up wrap it
Speaker 1: around his head. Because that's how you knew how drunk
Speaker 1: he was that he would turn into the contesta and
Speaker 1: start yelling at people.
Speaker 4: Exactly why isn't everyone paying attention to me?
Speaker 1: And remember when I think you actually put in a
Speaker 1: video because it was some It was like the compilation
Speaker 1: of bloopers from CNN or what. So we all sat
Speaker 1: down to watch TV in the middle of his party
Speaker 1: and he walked in, stood in front of the TV
Speaker 1: with this weird raincoat around his head and what are
Speaker 1: you people don't Yes, that's right, he was so mad
Speaker 1: we were watching TV.
Speaker 4: Oh oh god, yeah, he boy. When he would get drunk,
Speaker 4: he went all the way.
Speaker 6: I remember seeing John Mattat like carrying him out of
Speaker 6: the Uh.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, what was the place the cat in
Speaker 4: the fiddle?
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, like literally like he had picked up a
Speaker 6: mannequin and it was like like at Squaresvillet, like.
Speaker 4: We're changing the mannequins. He would like pick.
Speaker 6: Danny was so slim and light. Yeah, you could just
Speaker 6: pick him up. Well, we got to take him.
Speaker 4: Somewhere you can't walk and so amored. Oh my god, Danny,
Speaker 4: what's Danny doing now? So is he still married?
Speaker 1: He's still married and his wife is a musicologist. She
Speaker 1: got a job as a professor. I think it's called
Speaker 1: Lawrence College and Appleton, Wisconsin. So they live way fucking
Speaker 1: north in Wisconsin, and he's and they've lived there for
Speaker 1: like it's been fifteen years probably and they love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it just does sets it's skyline.
Speaker 6: Yeah, or he goes he goes to the local supermarket,
Speaker 6: not the chain one, but the mom and pop and
Speaker 6: just and every now and then he'll kind of half
Speaker 6: go into the contesta like glas as Zucchinis just underpicked
Speaker 6: too soon.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my god.
Speaker 1: I miss that. I miss people doing characters.
Speaker 4: Yeah we would.
Speaker 6: There was always people would go into just whatever at
Speaker 6: a party and it didn't have to necessarily go anywhere.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I miss that too, Like during stand up,
Speaker 5: not as a TikTok persona.
Speaker 6: And again you know what, And it was all it
Speaker 6: was truly for ourselves because we weren't tiktoking or posting shit, right,
Speaker 6: it was just we're amusing ourselves right now, yes, and
Speaker 6: this is all going into the ether.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was the big because every thing was a
Speaker 1: big riff contest. So it was like, what can you
Speaker 1: bring if you're just going to do regular hard jokes?
Speaker 1: Will then stand over there because I'm about to unveil
Speaker 1: my new character.
Speaker 5: You're right, there was a time as weird as I
Speaker 5: and not well received occasionally as I can be in
Speaker 5: a mainstream setting. I felt sometimes like I was some
Speaker 5: road hack because I was wanting to do my bits
Speaker 5: and everyone else was like, well, I bought a.
Speaker 2: Box of crackers.
Speaker 5: I'm going to be the Rits because I just picked
Speaker 5: these up, and I felt and I'm just talking about
Speaker 5: way later. For me, it just used to be an embar. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I am I putting am I. I memorized all these
Speaker 5: things and then the next week I could just be
Speaker 5: chewing it at the comedy store.
Speaker 2: I liked that.
Speaker 4: There's that right, Yeah.
Speaker 6: I remember there was a There used to be a
Speaker 6: message board called a Special Thing, and it was kind of.
Speaker 4: Very mbar Largo centric.
Speaker 6: Yeah, all the all the m bar Largo fans, like
Speaker 6: the alt comedy fan base was on this message board,
Speaker 6: and a lot of us would go on there and
Speaker 6: just you know, answer fans and talked about something.
Speaker 4: But I would remember them.
Speaker 6: They would review MBAR shows every week like you would
Speaker 6: do the Nbar and you'd come home and go on
Speaker 6: that messag board. Like an hour later someone had written
Speaker 6: up the entire show. Yes, but I remember one night
Speaker 6: and this is no slam on anyone in this, but
Speaker 6: it was. It was a night where everyone went up
Speaker 6: and just absolutely killed.
Speaker 4: Boom boom boom.
Speaker 6: And David Cross went up and he was trying a
Speaker 6: bu He goes, I'm trying a much new stuff because
Speaker 6: he was working on a new special and a lot
Speaker 6: of the new stuff just didn't work. He just didn't land.
Speaker 6: He didn't have a great set. Still David Cross, still funny,
Speaker 6: but it just didn't work. And so this guy wrote
Speaker 6: there's a review and he's like the only you know.
Speaker 4: Everyone else went up all prepared and rehearsed, and it
Speaker 4: was disgusting. The only real comedian that night was David Cross.
Speaker 6: It was like he didn't but it was that ethos
Speaker 6: had leaked into the board.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like they anyone can go up and just get lashed.
Speaker 4: Actually no, you can't. Then that whole point of comedy.
Speaker 4: That's the hard thing to do.
Speaker 1: So it's quite rehearsed.
Speaker 2: Yes, was the review written by like David X.
Speaker 4: I don't think he ever went on those boards, don't do.
Speaker 6: There were some like very specific personalities that came out
Speaker 6: of that board that I feel a lot of them
Speaker 6: probably went all right years rolled on just as they
Speaker 6: became more disaffected, they suddenly just started posting on once
Speaker 6: that board closed.
Speaker 4: They're like, well, I guess it's storm front for me.
Speaker 5: How much is it to fly to Washington, DC? Yeah,
Speaker 5: I used to search for my name on there. I
Speaker 5: just I totally forgot about that until you brought it up,
Speaker 5: and oh yeah, oh yeah, that person kind of said
Speaker 5: something nice, and I'd think about it.
Speaker 6: You could always see the early There were always rough
Speaker 6: drafts of the Internet out there. They just weren't there yet.
Speaker 6: Like I remember when there's when I was living in
Speaker 6: San Francisco. You I don't know if you ever did this, Karen,
Speaker 6: but there was a thing in the cafes for a
Speaker 6: while called the coffee Net and they were these little stations,
Speaker 6: little keyboards with a screen and you fed a quarter
Speaker 6: into a slot and then you could chat. It was
Speaker 6: just a chat room. And there were other monitors and
Speaker 6: keyboards in other coffee shops. That's all it was, so
Speaker 6: there was never more than twelve people in the chat room,
Speaker 6: but Blaine and I and Mark Marin would put a
Speaker 6: stack of like we were immediately addicted to this, and
Speaker 6: you would think that I would observe, like, wait a minute,
Speaker 6: I'm in a coffee shop with my friends and I'd
Speaker 6: rather feed quarters and just type non sequitors at these
Speaker 6: random people. There's clearly money in this. Yeah, and I
Speaker 6: just didn't even bother. Yeah, this will never catch on.
Speaker 6: Hang on, I need this five dollars. Can I get
Speaker 6: this in quarters? This five dollar bill?
Speaker 4: Thank you part of it.
Speaker 1: That they figured out a way to make you pay
Speaker 1: for it, like that is hilarious, Like, yeah, a quarter.
Speaker 4: It was like playing a video. A quarter got you
Speaker 4: ten minutes.
Speaker 6: And we would sit there and just and I was
Speaker 6: I think we had different names. I think I forgot
Speaker 6: what I But we would go on and just like
Speaker 6: start talking and then you get into arguments, and the
Speaker 6: arguments were but apparently back in the seventies and eighties,
Speaker 6: weren't their party.
Speaker 1: Lines on the phone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and you could call up and just talk
Speaker 4: to people.
Speaker 1: Yeap. That turned into the sex lines.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like.
Speaker 6: Thousands of women are waiting to talk to me. Wow, wow,
Speaker 6: remember that. There's a scene in I think it's Shortcuts.
Speaker 6: Jennifer Jason Ley is a phone sex operator where people
Speaker 6: just call up and she's saying the most filthy stuff
Speaker 6: and her either boyfriend or husband played by Chris penn
Speaker 6: is clearly like she's making a lot of money for them,
Speaker 6: and he's like, why don't.
Speaker 4: You never talk that way to me? Because it's disgusting,
Speaker 4: Like she's.
Speaker 6: Not personally attached to it, but it's like that's probably
Speaker 6: who you're talking to when you're on the sex lines.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a friend who did
Speaker 1: that really yeah, because it was really good money. So
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's like, yeah, you don't have
Speaker 1: to go be a waitress for eight hours. You can
Speaker 1: just do this for two and as long as you're
Speaker 1: willing to just be kind of gross and some guys
Speaker 1: being gross back to you, you make a bank. My
Speaker 1: friend was just like, yeah, who gives a ship. I'd
Speaker 1: way rather get this big payout and it's like worth
Speaker 1: her time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well that's like all the I don't know if
Speaker 6: those still exist. Cam girls, web girls, Oh yeah, wasn't
Speaker 6: that a whole thing?
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean that's now it's like the only fans accounts, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't pretend you don't know.
Speaker 4: This is this is fucking oh, this is mortifying.
Speaker 6: Right When only fans started, when I had heard the
Speaker 6: term only fans, but I didn't know yet that it
Speaker 6: was for porn. I just thought only fans artists have
Speaker 6: a page and people paid to see your new work.
Speaker 6: And I was talking with Amy Mann and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm trying to put this new album out, but you know,
Speaker 6: you gotta the labels are all collapsing, and you know,
Speaker 6: I don't know how to get the word out.
Speaker 4: And then I just said, well, you should start an
Speaker 4: only fans.
Speaker 6: Page, like in my mind, thinking because that's where you
Speaker 6: put She's like, what, I go where you put your
Speaker 6: music on?
Speaker 4: She goes, do you know what? Only know? But what?
Speaker 4: And the kid to explain. I'm like, oh jesus, right,
Speaker 4: that's not what I was saying.
Speaker 2: You know people do do that, though you're not off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now they do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have seen that in recent days.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's someone who has an only fans page. Wait
Speaker 6: a minute, they just announce it and they're not like
Speaker 6: a porn person who.
Speaker 1: No, there's people that are doing comedy specials on OnlyFans.
Speaker 2: Right why Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I think I think Whitney Cummings produced
Speaker 1: a roast that I can can't remember the person who
Speaker 1: is that true? No? Yeah, I think they're they're trying
Speaker 1: to basically like sidestep all the middlemen and all the
Speaker 1: people that take all their percentages.
Speaker 6: Exactly, just I'll put it up and pay whatever, or
Speaker 6: not even pay what you want. They're like Dana Gould
Speaker 6: has a Patreon, but it's like, I'm not doing levels,
Speaker 6: I'm not doing tears. Its five bucks a month and
Speaker 6: you get everything. Yeah, and when you do it that way,
Speaker 6: actually more people sign up.
Speaker 5: I'm because like, oh this is so easy, I'm one
Speaker 5: hundred percent sold on it, and I might do it. Yeah,
Speaker 5: it's good I want and then just have a psaltry
Speaker 5: image suggests I'm doing anything more interesting high everybody.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 6: Then there's also writers that have sub stacks and you
Speaker 6: pay for that every month and they're like, I don't
Speaker 6: need to worry about getting it published.
Speaker 4: You want to read my stuff here it is?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Yeah, all the self publishing stuff that's going on.
Speaker 1: Also Cameo, where you can if people want you to
Speaker 1: say happy birth there.
Speaker 6: Yeah, although from what I heard, cameo can end up
Speaker 6: taking over your life, like it is, what so much
Speaker 6: work it becomes your Well it's not that it's so
Speaker 6: much work. If you have any kind of cachet, you
Speaker 6: will get you know, one hundred of quests today and
Speaker 6: you're like, well, I'm here. You know, it becomes an
Speaker 6: eight hour workday.
Speaker 4: During the guy who.
Speaker 6: Played like one of the characters on Office Space and
Speaker 6: not obviously the Office, the American Office who's.
Speaker 4: The tall bald guy kind of talks.
Speaker 6: Like, oh yeah, yeah, he made a million dollars a
Speaker 6: year on Cameo.
Speaker 1: Holy shit.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And people basically just ask him to say the
Speaker 6: same phrase over and over and he just sits in
Speaker 6: his house and does it.
Speaker 1: Hell yes, I mean get that bag.
Speaker 4: However you can get it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was in Portland and there's this skateboarding Jesus guy.
Speaker 6: He rides along for just one he's me there's competing skateboard.
Speaker 5: That's all he's talked about was the other skateboarding Jesus'
Speaker 5: and he but he we did a little interview, and
Speaker 5: he's very sweet, and he took me to his office
Speaker 5: and he had a whole setup. One was for cameo
Speaker 5: and then all these other apps. He did them for churches.
Speaker 5: He did, and he wasn't like a Christian guy, but
Speaker 5: he he did it very.
Speaker 1: Much for Wow, for churches like, hey, guys, Jesus here,
Speaker 1: I highly recommend Saint Andrews. Yes, right, Eucharist always.
Speaker 4: Just got some fresh trucks on the board.
Speaker 5: He did it in the many Texas high school football teams.
Speaker 4: Oh really, he did, wow.
Speaker 5: And it made me whoever was requesting those obviously had
Speaker 5: a sense of humor because he wasn't that serious. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so I'm like, well, he must be doing it for
Speaker 5: the cool church.
Speaker 1: But you're saying skateboarding Jesus is not evangelical.
Speaker 4: No, no, it was.
Speaker 5: I mean he put a little like kind of a
Speaker 5: bed skirt around his skateboard so it looked like he
Speaker 5: was floating.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love him.
Speaker 2: The skateboard was shaped like a crucifix.
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course, so you could take someone out at
Speaker 5: the ankle.
Speaker 4: I know, I know.
Speaker 2: I didn't throw a log on the fire at church camp.
Speaker 5: I was offended, but he made such a living and
Speaker 5: told me, here's what you need to do, and that's
Speaker 5: when I signed up for cameo and yes, during quarantine,
Speaker 5: even just for me, it was a daily thing. And
Speaker 5: sometimes they were, oh, you have twenty four hours to
Speaker 5: do this, and it's our sweet fans.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was wow.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I kind of dried up because you have
Speaker 2: to advertise it.
Speaker 4: I've been pitched a couple of cruises.
Speaker 6: I've never been in a cruise and I'll never do one,
Speaker 6: but I just stand up to do. Yeah, stand up
Speaker 6: and music cruises or a very big thing.
Speaker 1: It's good money, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: And especially here's what's amazing.
Speaker 6: So many of our alt rock nineties heroes are either
Speaker 6: doing the soundtracks for children's shows. Kay Hanley from Letters
Speaker 6: to Cleo does Doc mcstuffians and I'm not kidding, she
Speaker 6: does not MC stuff. That's awesome, and they might be giants.
Speaker 6: Does Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, they always did, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: But now there are these cruises I know that like
Speaker 4: three eleven. Yeah, like they.
Speaker 6: Will do and it's it's it's it's no different than
Speaker 6: like when there's a package torn now of all your
Speaker 6: Like there was that thing that was just touring with
Speaker 6: like the Cure and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like y yeah yeah.
Speaker 6: Where it's they just we're going to it's package nostalgia.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And the artists that are honored I apparently make banks.
Speaker 6: They're like, why Nothy, wouldn't I do this?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 6: But but there's something about a cruise because isn't there
Speaker 6: a specific kind of person that likes to go on
Speaker 6: a cruise?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Well, it's it's really good the marketing concept, which is
Speaker 1: amazing because they're probably pulling in all these people who
Speaker 1: would never go.
Speaker 4: On a cruise. Oh yeah right, they're.
Speaker 1: Tapping in new markets that kind of stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, makes sense.
Speaker 6: I just can't imagine Juliana Hatfield's fans wanting like salivating
Speaker 6: for the all night buffet and going, god, I hope
Speaker 6: she does a babe today.
Speaker 1: You're wandering and she's like, because I'm ugly, upset. She's
Speaker 1: not ugly, not ugly.
Speaker 4: And plus, look at the ambrosia.
Speaker 1: Marie, keep your voice down. She's singing a ballot.
Speaker 5: Ambrosia is like that lime green, yellow marshmallowy.
Speaker 6: Like like cool whip. It's it's just that we have
Speaker 6: a bunch of cold things in the fridge. That's just
Speaker 6: mad from together grapes down in that basically sugar water, yes,
Speaker 6: just just soaking in sugar water.
Speaker 1: It's the stuff that if it gets left out at
Speaker 1: a barbecue on a picnic table, don't eat that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, or if it gets left out it ferments
Speaker 6: and the kids can catch.
Speaker 4: A tiny buzz maybe like oh that was mommy, that
Speaker 4: was the oranges were fizzy.
Speaker 2: We're just saving money on your penicillin.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: That.
Speaker 5: I don't know if i'd want to do my subtle word,
Speaker 5: make them ups in front of a you know, oz
Speaker 5: fest just I.
Speaker 6: Remember when I was eight, I was visiting my grandparents
Speaker 6: in Arizona and we all went out to dinner one
Speaker 6: night with my Aunt Debbie. And Aunt Debbie ordered a
Speaker 6: uh vodka tonic and I ordered a seven up. And
Speaker 6: it was the late seventies and all the all the
Speaker 6: glasses were just the same, there was no and they
Speaker 6: put her vodkatonic in front of me and my seven
Speaker 6: up in front of her, and I wasn't really you know,
Speaker 6: like seven or eight. I just straws in and I
Speaker 6: drink like half of it without even thinking of it.
Speaker 4: Me While my Aunt Debbie is sipping her as she goes.
Speaker 6: Man, they really make great fun Dona juice, fantastic. It's
Speaker 6: just but it took her a second, like she got
Speaker 6: maybe a fourth way through it, and then she looked
Speaker 6: at me and was like no, no.
Speaker 4: No, no grabbed it.
Speaker 6: But I remember, I remember distinctly getting a weird little
Speaker 6: buzz because I didn't.
Speaker 4: I just drank hat. How old are seven or eight?
Speaker 2: Oh wow? That is when you're shirtless dancing on the piano.
Speaker 6: That's so great, diving into the ballpit.
Speaker 2: I actually.
Speaker 1: Pat put your shirt back on.
Speaker 2: What are you doing?
Speaker 1: An Italian restaurant?
Speaker 2: Swimming in?
Speaker 4: Get the Lord?
Speaker 6: So to the listeners that can't that have no visual
Speaker 6: to that. We are heading east on Ventura Boulevard and
Speaker 6: Ventura Studio City is where all of the hipsters who
Speaker 6: aged out of Los Felice had moved. Because we're about
Speaker 6: to enter an area of Ventura Boulevard where the restaurants
Speaker 6: and coffee shops are actually kind of good and there
Speaker 6: was a weird migration of services over here.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. Yeah, there's Mark's Garden Marks, beautifully decorated.
Speaker 6: But there's a bunch of restaurants along here that are great,
Speaker 6: like shockingly great.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And every time I drive down that street, I'm like,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna hang out over here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wait a minute, I never do.
Speaker 6: Because if you have Echo Park, there's Petit Twa.
Speaker 4: That's the guys who do Animal. That's your little French place. Amazing.
Speaker 4: There is a.
Speaker 6: Little pub there, the one up that has got video
Speaker 6: games and really.
Speaker 4: Good pub food.
Speaker 6: The Woodman is really tasty, coming up on our left,
Speaker 6: and a second will be a place my god, please.
Speaker 4: Put please put your headphones off out.
Speaker 6: But there's a place coming up called Wood and Water
Speaker 6: that is so goddamn good.
Speaker 4: Just amazing food, just amazing dinner.
Speaker 6: And then they do like Sunday brunch, but all of
Speaker 6: their food is fantastic.
Speaker 4: And it's on Ventura in the.
Speaker 6: Goddamn valley and you do not expect it to be
Speaker 6: that good, and it is.
Speaker 4: It's right past men che See.
Speaker 1: And there's a home state over here.
Speaker 6: And there, Yes, there's a home state in which if
Speaker 6: you are from Austin and you move to Los Angeles
Speaker 6: and you miss hot bowls of cheese, which which used
Speaker 6: to I used to eat so much of it, you had.
Speaker 2: A slight limp. Martha Kelly and I would eat. She
Speaker 2: would just call me up.
Speaker 4: She would just call me up.
Speaker 5: And go, Hi, fair Banks, you want to get a
Speaker 5: big bull of cheese?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we might just want to do it.
Speaker 1: And you're like, but I have gouts.
Speaker 4: My foot is numb. I'm like Olivia Coleman in The.
Speaker 1: Favors Right now, it a bed, Get me my bunnies.
Speaker 6: We also just passed on our laft back there Cosavega,
Speaker 6: which is the site of many a nineteen seventies drunken debauchery.
Speaker 4: I think Cosavega features in licorice pizza.
Speaker 1: It does, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: They all drink on the tip of my tongue. And
Speaker 2: then other than that, just like the movie Barfly or something, well.
Speaker 4: That's all downtown.
Speaker 6: Although I also think Cosavega is in a once upon
Speaker 6: a time in Hollywood.
Speaker 4: I think they go drinking there.
Speaker 1: I also went. I went to dinner there once in
Speaker 1: the nineties before I stopped drinking, and I forgot that
Speaker 1: I had even been there. So then the next time
Speaker 1: people are like, should we go to Cosavega, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've never been there, and whoever was with me it
Speaker 1: was like we were there last month. What is wrong
Speaker 1: with you nothing. Nothing is wrong with me until I
Speaker 1: decide there's something super wrong with me.
Speaker 4: Can't a girl decide when she bought him out?
Speaker 1: All blackout as many.
Speaker 4: Times as I need to do, not blackout, Explain to me.
Speaker 1: This is sexist, this is very And.
Speaker 6: Then of course you have the class still the classic
Speaker 6: Valley five guys, Western Bagel, Starbucks like boom boom boom.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 4: Also then you got but then there's an out for coffee, Alfred.
Speaker 2: It's all border.
Speaker 4: There's a Jones on third over off of Laurel Canyon.
Speaker 1: Now that place is the greatest.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 6: If you want to go see pissed off people about
Speaker 6: to go audition at CBS Radford, that is where you go.
Speaker 1: And the and the people who aren't going to choose
Speaker 1: them for their projects, they're also there.
Speaker 6: All sitting together putting their punch cards in. Well, gotta
Speaker 6: go fire.
Speaker 5: You now as you Sportsman's launch. No hotel they have
Speaker 5: like a pool side. You can just go there. You
Speaker 5: don't need to even be in a room.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think that that the hotel's there anymore.
Speaker 1: Though it's now.
Speaker 2: It didn't look like it was in great shape.
Speaker 1: It's well, no they refurbished the whole thing, but is
Speaker 1: the actual hotel there. Didn't they turn it into like
Speaker 1: an Equinox strip mop Yes, yeah.
Speaker 6: They did, but the pool side thing is still there. Oh,
Speaker 6: it is one of my favorite names. Muffin can stop us?
Speaker 1: Right, that's not real.
Speaker 4: That we just passed Muffin can stop it?
Speaker 1: Are you serious?
Speaker 6: It's right next to Element's Pharmacy. Why can I pay
Speaker 6: three hundred dollars for.
Speaker 4: My COVID vaccine?
Speaker 6: That's why you want to go to Element's Pharmacy where
Speaker 6: the stars.
Speaker 2: I want that to be a tailor.
Speaker 4: I don't want to go get it for free at CVS,
Speaker 4: like I'm some kind of proll. Well, then you want
Speaker 4: to head down to Elements Pharmacy.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of wordplay on We built the
Speaker 1: city so hard right now that my brain is bleeding.
Speaker 4: God damn.
Speaker 6: I mean, you know there was always that who there
Speaker 6: was some road comic. I'm sure that what we built
Speaker 6: this titty, Yes, we built this titty on sil.
Speaker 4: You know somebody. Yeah, there's no way they did think that.
Speaker 2: Mark Cohen didn't. He did a parody of like.
Speaker 4: Here make fun of those guys.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But then it's the funniest thing in the world
Speaker 5: to me.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he would do it to make fun of it,
Speaker 6: but it would always kill Also.
Speaker 1: He would do it in the middle of a party
Speaker 1: everyone had just smoked pot, and then he would pick
Speaker 1: up a guitar and be making eye contact with you,
Speaker 1: like the craziest person on the planet. And he's like this, kid,
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 4: Do this right now.
Speaker 6: To whip away constipation. You always ate the rays and Coco. Please,
Speaker 6: I'm so goddamn high right now. Blaine brought some lighter
Speaker 6: weed and I cannot please just stop.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna die, truly.
Speaker 5: I have three other versions in my head, but they're
Speaker 5: offensive now I can't write them right. He always made
Speaker 5: me laugh the funniest. Oh god, I think he's now
Speaker 5: got a regular Vegas.
Speaker 6: Yes, he has a residency somewhere. Oh great, Yeah, and look,
Speaker 6: Oh there's the Licorice Pizza pop up store on a right,
Speaker 6: nice arts delicatess And oh.
Speaker 4: I got to go back to breakfast there. I love
Speaker 4: that place.
Speaker 2: Are you do regularly do stand up in Vegas? Patton?
Speaker 4: Not as as?
Speaker 6: Oh, by the way, Annabel's Book Club on our right,
Speaker 6: amazing tween young adult bookstore.
Speaker 4: Oh amazing.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 6: I don't do as much stand up as I would
Speaker 6: like in Vegas. I like to go in there and
Speaker 6: do like one show. I just don't like a lot
Speaker 6: of the clubs. They would like you to come in
Speaker 6: Monday through Friday, and that drives me insane.
Speaker 5: No, I'm I would assume you're doing one show and
Speaker 5: then getting out, since I'm guessing you're not.
Speaker 2: A guy I love like me.
Speaker 6: I love Vegas, but not after two days? Right then
Speaker 6: I got to get out.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, by the way, I'm Karen Blasphemer pass. Coming
Speaker 4: up on the right is Wasteland.
Speaker 1: Get me an outfit now.
Speaker 6: My daughter is now obsessed with Wasteland. Loves it so exciting.
Speaker 6: I got her a gift certificate for Easter. She's so excited.
Speaker 5: I feel like I went there when I first. Has
Speaker 5: that been there a long time?
Speaker 4: Wild?
Speaker 1: Not that long, but yeah, like ten years maybe?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I like the Wasteland on hate Oh.
Speaker 1: Because Wasteland is like a It's like a bit of
Speaker 1: a step up Crossroads.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: Cross Roads is more like you need to pay your
Speaker 1: rent so you have to get rid of like the new.
Speaker 2: Issues, and Wasteland is more curated yes, yes.
Speaker 1: And Wasteland's more like you're some sort of a Neppo
Speaker 1: baby trust fund kid and you've been cut off, so
Speaker 1: you have to start slowly selling your product ship.
Speaker 2: That's why I know, right Yeah.
Speaker 6: And also at Wasteland you have a you actually have
Speaker 6: a better chance of getting some good things for yourself
Speaker 6: to buy. At Crossroads, the really good ship comes in
Speaker 6: is clearly nabbed by the employees.
Speaker 4: Never make it to the rack, Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 5: They I remember going there with a bag of clothes
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm going to make a killing, and
Speaker 5: they turned down all of it. And I was like, like,
Speaker 5: these are specific skate brands.
Speaker 2: It's a street where ever heard of street?
Speaker 6: Where hybe? You ever heard of Gator?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I know, and I keep going a little more.
Speaker 2: Right, Flare, I very much like that.
Speaker 5: You just brought up Mark Gator rake man he lost
Speaker 5: his mind and killed.
Speaker 1: So, yes, I almost killed two people.
Speaker 2: For the record, we are going to the cleaner.
Speaker 1: Take it. We're literally taking to the cleaners.
Speaker 6: When I remember, keep in mind, I'm.
Speaker 4: Going to listen to this podcast later, so whatever you
Speaker 4: say about me when i'm later.
Speaker 1: In the nineties, pattern was such a slut.
Speaker 2: For the door shows.
Speaker 1: Oh man, fit it in there, but I just got
Speaker 1: like five restaurant recommendations.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love that. That's his instinct to do a
Speaker 5: street tour. Yes, people like it even though they can't
Speaker 5: see it. Well, we're talking about you're right, people like that.
Speaker 5: What was the muffing? Muffin can stop me?
Speaker 1: Muffing can stop us, which also isn't not to argue
Speaker 1: because it's a great name. Although if you actually look
Speaker 1: at it, you're saying it can stop you. Maybe that
Speaker 1: is good because you're like muffin. Nothing can stop us
Speaker 1: except for a muffin.
Speaker 2: Yes, and by stop as it means pull over and
Speaker 2: get one, get.
Speaker 1: Come and stop and get us. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh that's the best.
Speaker 5: Look at those fun Prince, those are fun shirts.
Speaker 1: True professional.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we want to clean take other wors.
Speaker 6: Gota do I gotta do the whole goddamn thing again.
Speaker 6: Go back in your house.
Speaker 1: We'll pull up, go back to Mulholland.
Speaker 4: Boy. Hey, Chris Karen, have either of you together or
Speaker 4: alone played Vegas?
Speaker 5: I know haven't for a long time, but you played it. Yes,
Speaker 5: just opening for people. I've never had my own private showcase.
Speaker 5: I haven't done Brad Garrett's yet.
Speaker 4: I did way back in the day.
Speaker 6: I did The Riviera when it was booked by Steve
Speaker 6: Shirippa from The Sopranos. He was the booker really and
Speaker 6: oh god, and that's that's the one where you came
Speaker 6: in Monday morning and you worked Monday through Sunday and
Speaker 6: you and you got the little card that would let
Speaker 6: you into that weird there's that. There's that subterranean tunnels
Speaker 6: where you even the materia. Yeah, yeah, it's really bizarre.
Speaker 4: It's it's a world.
Speaker 6: It's a city underneath the hotel that the workers live in.
Speaker 5: Well, now I know how many times I've worked there,
Speaker 5: because many times have eaten down there.
Speaker 2: I just am not remembering the.
Speaker 6: Details of the show, which was at the show is
Speaker 6: the one thing about Vegas that they will tell you is,
Speaker 6: you know, just do fifteen minutes. We just want them
Speaker 6: back out on the floor. You don't need to do it, like,
Speaker 6: just get him out there.
Speaker 5: Which I wish they were just telling you that it's
Speaker 5: some less pressure.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I also remember that was the Riviera.
Speaker 6: Was the first time I came off stage and the manager,
Speaker 6: Steve Srippa, just went, fuck these people they're idiots.
Speaker 4: Like, because that's how badly I done it, Just like,
Speaker 4: don't worry about it.
Speaker 5: There for a little while, these guys that did the
Speaker 5: Ramada in basement show, what where there was?
Speaker 2: It was? Yeah, on Vermont it was.
Speaker 6: Wait, I know that place? There was a show there? Yes,
Speaker 6: oh lord, and it.
Speaker 2: Was totally haunted there.
Speaker 6: I wait, what what the fuck was in the basement?
Speaker 4: Was it a theater or there's a little.
Speaker 2: Bar down there?
Speaker 5: Yeah, And these guys had a show suddenly at the
Speaker 5: Palms Casino where.
Speaker 6: They had a show suddenly they suddenly they were like, hey,
Speaker 6: do you want to do our show at the Palms?
Speaker 5: And I drove to Vegas and Sean Reap the does
Speaker 5: that thing have a hemy mm hmm comic? And I
Speaker 5: were on this billboard and I ate it. So they
Speaker 5: were it was like NASCAR weekend and it was an
Speaker 5: audience of home depot.
Speaker 2: Jackets and they were screaming at me.
Speaker 5: To get off stage, like I was eating it so hard.
Speaker 5: And John, who I don't didn't know that well, came
Speaker 5: out and said, this is my friend and you guys
Speaker 5: are being rude to him, which just made everything worse.
Speaker 4: Your mom came to school bullies. You're dead.
Speaker 5: Yeah it was I have never and it was hosted
Speaker 5: by a playboy money.
Speaker 2: That was the most That's what I blocked out.
Speaker 5: I only remember eating with the staff in the underground.
Speaker 2: I remember why I took it out of my memory.
Speaker 1: Well, I just everyone I know that ever attempted to
Speaker 1: play Vegas. Almost everyone got fired. Like a day or
Speaker 1: two in. That was always the story. People would be
Speaker 1: coming back like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they fired me.
Speaker 6: I made it through the whole week, which I wish
Speaker 6: I hadn't because after a while, because you're in the casino,
Speaker 6: there's no windows, there's no clocks, you lose that circadian
Speaker 6: rhythm and you're just and there's nothing to do. After all,
Speaker 6: you think, oh, there's gonna but there's actually not that
Speaker 6: much to do because you're doing a show at night.
Speaker 6: There's no bookstores, there's no movie theaters here. But they
Speaker 6: don't want you. They want people in the casinos. So
Speaker 6: you're like, I don't have anything to do, and you
Speaker 6: start to go crazy, like I'm down in that subterranean
Speaker 6: cafeteria at five o'clock having a bowl of fruit loops
Speaker 6: and some ravioli.
Speaker 4: I don't know what happens if I do this.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's dinner breakfast, it's breakfast, and I don't gamble,
Speaker 8: so I really just I guess I'll smoke a pack
Speaker 8: of cigarettes and that's elevator.
Speaker 4: Blaine told me.
Speaker 6: Blainco Patch told me that he did the Maximum Casino
Speaker 6: one time and he went up and he did really well,
Speaker 6: and he came off and the club owner was just
Speaker 6: glaring at him like murder and was like, oh, I
Speaker 6: bet I cursed or said something he's not happy about.
Speaker 6: And then the guy just comes up to him and
Speaker 6: he goes, this is a hard shoe gig, like blame sneakers,
Speaker 6: hard shoe gig.
Speaker 2: Have you guys got the phrase hard shoe Now?
Speaker 6: It's all that old school like you're gonna those are
Speaker 6: your show clothes stuff you were in the street, you
Speaker 6: just wear it, but that's at your show clothes.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, jeez.
Speaker 6: Like the guys that hang around backstage with no pants
Speaker 6: on because they want to keep the crease to the
Speaker 6: last second. That's when you see like pictures of Jerry
Speaker 6: Lewis and Don Rickles, even at the end of their career,
Speaker 6: like when they're backstage, they they have the full dress
Speaker 6: shirt on in the jacket and no pants because when
Speaker 6: they came up, you put your pants on at the
Speaker 6: last possible second.
Speaker 4: So he went up with a really sharp crease. I mean,
Speaker 4: not weird.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious, but it's also like saying, I insist that
Speaker 1: it's seventy years ago and you have to be where
Speaker 1: I am where it's like Jesus, sir, hard shoes aren't
Speaker 1: a thing anymore.
Speaker 4: Hey, I didn't even know what that phrase meant.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you just threw me your insult through me because
Speaker 6: I didn't know, Well, what was that? Oh my god,
Speaker 6: you had that great joke caring about your dad saying
Speaker 6: like you're funny Karen, but you're no Bob here, and
Speaker 6: you go, I don't even what is it. I don't
Speaker 6: know what to say to that because I don't know
Speaker 6: who he is. So why don't you sit down before
Speaker 6: you fall?
Speaker 2: The military promoter?
Speaker 1: So insane?
Speaker 4: Oh god, that that just made me last. I remember
Speaker 4: the first time I heard you say that, like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, you.
Speaker 1: Know what's really funny? I think recently I watched an
Speaker 1: episode of either Cheers or some eighties sitcom, and I
Speaker 1: saw a person say sit down before you fall down?
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, no, I stole that. No, it
Speaker 1: was like in a it was in a like an
Speaker 1: old sitcom where I was like, that's why that was
Speaker 1: in my brain.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, wow, well enough time has passed.
Speaker 5: I'm yeah, jerosh, it was.
Speaker 4: It was in the air.
Speaker 1: That's that thing, like you know. Rosie o'donald tells that
Speaker 1: story of that her first set, and she killed it
Speaker 1: was all Jerry Seinfeld's material that she had just seen
Speaker 1: on TV. And she thought, that's what That's how you
Speaker 1: did stand up is you just do jokes.
Speaker 4: Hope, and you tell those jokes.
Speaker 1: You just tell jokes, you know.
Speaker 4: No, I like, here's some jokes. I like, yeah, you
Speaker 4: guys might like this one. I know I do.
Speaker 1: Apparently all the comics from the back were like horrifying, like.
Speaker 4: What are you doing? And she's like, what I annihilated?
Speaker 6: I was watching There's an old Warren Baty film called
Speaker 6: Mickey One that he made in the early sixties with
Speaker 6: Arthur Penney plays a stand up comedian who's on the
Speaker 6: run from the Bob. This is early sixties, and so
Speaker 6: there's a scene where he's hiding out in like a
Speaker 6: in like the lower part of showbiz like he's hanging
Speaker 6: out in a strip club. So the strip club comedian
Speaker 6: goes up, who's like this old baggy pants style comedian,
Speaker 6: and Warren is drunk and he starts heckling him, and
Speaker 6: the guy starts using heckler comebacks on him, but Warren
Speaker 6: knows them all. At one point the guy goes and
Speaker 6: then again, this is movie made in the early sixties,
Speaker 6: and the character in the scene is someone who's been
Speaker 6: doing comedy since like the forties.
Speaker 4: That's what this is, you know, they're making fun of.
Speaker 6: And he goes, I don't come to where you work,
Speaker 6: and then Warren goes and jiggle the mop handle, which
Speaker 6: you're like, that's how old.
Speaker 4: The fucking insult is, wow, because that was everywhere in
Speaker 4: the eighties. I don't come to where you work. The
Speaker 4: slurping machine.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's just been it's almost like comedian Lord, that's
Speaker 6: been passed down right, the weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's still comics that will do that work
Speaker 2: and not.
Speaker 1: Sure well and when you're desperate, I mean I remember
Speaker 1: there was I remember having to do colleges and freaking
Speaker 1: out because I had an LA thirty and a college
Speaker 1: five essentially.
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my.
Speaker 4: God, that's exactly.
Speaker 1: Yes, one of the worst feelings in the world where
Speaker 1: you're like, I actually don't have material. This is all
Speaker 1: personality based. Who gives a shit.
Speaker 4: It's all inside joke shit too. Yes. And about the
Speaker 4: industry yes.
Speaker 1: And stuff that like no one actually cares about in
Speaker 1: the real world.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: And having those like realizations on stage. And I remember
Speaker 1: before I left, Karen Anderson goes, you can do any
Speaker 1: of my material, and I absolutely went into her as
Speaker 1: I was like, it was help me car seriously, I
Speaker 1: was drowning, and it just like, I'm sure I did
Speaker 1: something of Blaine's too, because Blaine has those jokes, those
Speaker 1: like hard jokes that stick in your mind. Were just like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, that just go that was Blaine's. But I'm
Speaker 1: just losing my mind.
Speaker 6: You He does this stuff now on stage where he'll
Speaker 6: stop and rattle off his sponsors for yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 6: love brought to you by Swiffer. When you don't feel
Speaker 6: like cleaning, don't really clean.
Speaker 1: Axe body spray ed Hardy for the blind. I gotta
Speaker 1: do that. And I kind of started crying because I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's the best joker. I'll never write it.
Speaker 6: Sitting there for I was talking. We went I'm on
Speaker 6: a thread with him and a bunch of other comedians.
Speaker 4: We were talking about.
Speaker 6: For some reason, you know, you've gone in those weird
Speaker 6: rabbit holes about people, famous people, And he went down
Speaker 6: for some reason, went down.
Speaker 4: To Peter Wolf rabbit hole, so right there, but.
Speaker 6: He was on his Wikipedia and Peter Wolf, lead singer
Speaker 6: of the Jay Giles Band, was married to Faye Dunaway
Speaker 6: for three years in the early seventies. And then and
Speaker 6: I said, oh, you know Peter Wolf and Amy Mann,
Speaker 6: we used.
Speaker 4: To be boyfriend girlfriend way back in the day.
Speaker 6: And then Blaine just text me back, did they break
Speaker 6: up because of all the wolfman jokes? Wolf Man that
Speaker 6: would have been their portmanteau, that's right.
Speaker 1: Or their child's hyphen it?
Speaker 4: Oh god?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: And then so they gotta name him Harry Harry wolf Man.
Speaker 1: I love those those kind of people that are just like,
Speaker 1: let's give our child a joke name, yes, and entertain ourselves.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well that was who's the His name now is
Speaker 4: c Q. Jones.
Speaker 6: He's a director, but he's David Bowie's son. Oh, and
Speaker 6: he was when he was growing up, he was Zoey
Speaker 6: bo oh right. And then he was like, yeah, c Q,
Speaker 6: we're done with this. I'm glad that you lived.
Speaker 4: On cocaine and milk and Kalipino peppers the.
Speaker 6: Seventies, red peppers, red peppers. Yes he really, yes, yes,
Speaker 6: he had this weird diet. He would just drink milk,
Speaker 6: snort coke and eat red peppers for.
Speaker 4: Like years, for years, for years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then he was started hallucinating. There's a really
Speaker 1: good story where like he saw something in the bottom.
Speaker 1: There was an indoor pool in some mansion they had
Speaker 1: in La Do you know that story? And he hallucinated
Speaker 1: this thing where basically the devil was coming up out
Speaker 1: of the pool and somebody is like, hey, we got
Speaker 1: to get you off the coke, off the peppers.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know that's the peppers.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we got to get you a steak, a steak
Speaker 6: and some mashed potato.
Speaker 1: Stat gotta take it easy.
Speaker 4: Holy shit.
Speaker 2: Have you guys seen that Bowie documentary?
Speaker 4: No mine is.
Speaker 6: My daughter has demanded I wait till she gets back
Speaker 6: from camp because she's obsessed with bow and guys can
Speaker 6: watch it together.
Speaker 2: Oh she's at camp right yeah.
Speaker 6: Camp right now? Is it out in Vermont? She just wow,
Speaker 6: running around in the Woods.
Speaker 2: That's where I wanted it to be.
Speaker 1: That's like dream camp.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, she's very very happy. Good.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 6: And I just did a you know, I have a
Speaker 6: new trade paperback that's coming out July twelfth.
Speaker 4: Listeners.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you want to go to your called Minor Threats.
Speaker 6: First four issues of my comic Minor Threats.
Speaker 5: I mentioned that because on the way to Karen's I
Speaker 5: listened to Minor threat Oh there you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, unrelated.
Speaker 6: But we had a big release party out at in
Speaker 6: Eagle Rock at a place old Revenge of So we
Speaker 6: did a signing, we had barbecue, we had a couple
Speaker 6: of comedians, and we had a band play. And the
Speaker 6: band that I got to play was Bleached, which is
Speaker 6: my daughter's favorite.
Speaker 2: Oh they're great.
Speaker 6: So I like got to like meet them backstage and
Speaker 6: then watch their sound check and and she was just
Speaker 6: like you it was she was. So I'm just so
Speaker 6: happy that she's into really really cool music and that
Speaker 6: music leads her forward into people like Lana del Rey.
Speaker 4: And then then also like if they mentioned what is
Speaker 4: this line, I listened to Sabbath, you know that it's real?
Speaker 6: She goes, Oh, that's a band called Black Sabbath and
Speaker 6: then I'll play her paranoid.
Speaker 4: Now she loves black Sabage.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great.
Speaker 2: I went to a Bleach show the Sisters right.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was an all ages show and I couldn't believe.
Speaker 5: I'm many cool parents brought their cool kids with the
Speaker 5: little ear muffs on, and it was the best show.
Speaker 2: I knew nothing about that band.
Speaker 6: They do the best songs about growing up and being
Speaker 6: a little punk in the valley and being and you know.
Speaker 6: And we were backstage and here's something, here's how, there's
Speaker 6: how your kids get away from you in great ways.
Speaker 6: So Jennifer was saying, yeah, we were just touring and
Speaker 6: we were supposed to open for Bikini Kill at the
Speaker 6: Greek and the day of my sister Jessica got COVID
Speaker 6: and we couldn't do it. And my daughter's like, you
Speaker 6: didn't get to open for Bikini Kill. And I go,
Speaker 6: do you know who Bikini Kill is? She goes, yeah,
Speaker 6: Kathleen hand. And when we drove home, she she plugged
Speaker 6: her phone into the thing and played me all the
Speaker 6: Bikini Kill songs.
Speaker 4: She loves. Oh, I didn't know she was into bikini
Speaker 4: I'm so happy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a beaut a surprise. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also it's so cool to me because it's this,
Speaker 1: it's like whatever it is now, fourth wave feminism or whatever, yeap,
Speaker 1: where it's cool to be into those bands which were
Speaker 1: like you had to in the nineties, no cool people
Speaker 1: to find.
Speaker 4: Out about those things. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: And now it's kind of like somebody is on the
Speaker 1: circuit going listen to this, do this, pay attention to this.
Speaker 4: Miss this the best. You're gonna love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so was delightful, was perfection.
Speaker 2: You are out of the gates. You were hilarious.
Speaker 5: You you had the instincts to do a street tour
Speaker 5: of venture.
Speaker 1: We got something done for you.
Speaker 6: I can't believe you lived two minutes from me, Karen.
Speaker 6: Let's go get coffee soon, yes, please, God damn it.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 6: I can't imagine how busy you are because I know
Speaker 6: that you're running an empire. But Slate, if you can
Speaker 6: talk to your assistant, have a take open an hour
Speaker 6: and we'll get some caffeine.
Speaker 1: That would be great. Let's go to Jones on third.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, you've been listening to do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: I am aar.
Speaker 2: This has been an Exactly Right.
Speaker 1: Production produced by Analise Nelson, mixed by Edson Choy. Our
Speaker 1: talent booker is Patrick Cotner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgare.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.
Speaker 5: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 1: Thank you both, You're welcome