WEBVTT - Jasper Hoffman, Part 1 - From Atheists to Mennonites 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:03.760 Trust me? Do you trust me? 0:00:04.559 --> 0:00:06.320 Right? Ever? Lead you wastry? Trust? 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.320 This is the truth, the only truth. 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:12.400 If anybody ever tells you to just trust them, don't 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:17.680 welcome to trust me. The podcast about Colt's extreme belief 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:21.400 and manipulation from two horse girls who've actually experienced it. 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:25.480 I'm low Lablanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth. This week we're 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:31.080 joined by Jasper Hoffman, writer, podcaster, and former Mennonite. In 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:32.839 part one, today, she's going to tell us about how 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:35.720 her parents went from being a punk rock atheist and 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:40.360 an anthropology major to homesteading and homeschooling, which eventually led 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:44.040 them to church, first a non denominational one and then 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:47.720 of course, a Mennonite church that came into town when Jasper. 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:47.880 Was a kid. 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:50.680 She'll tell us about how it then escalated to her 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:53.800 family moving to the Midwest, getting rid of all their 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:58.840 material possessions and committing wholeheartedly to being Mennonites with redacted 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:03.040 encyclopedias and physical punishment in the basement for children who 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:07.000 are considered rebellious, and why she was forbidden from going back. 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.160 To school, and stay tuned next week for part two 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.520 because she will tell us about leaving the church, but 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:16.680 before we go to men and I was going to 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:18.080 try to make that a thing before we go to 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:24.080 into the Medonit world with her, Megan, what's your cult 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:24.400 het thing? 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:29.280 Well, as you might know, there's a guy named Samuel 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:35.720 Bateman who started as called sure Is and he was 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:39.759 sentenced to fifty years in prison, which is incredible. We've 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.000 been following the story through your mom. We've had Gnomes 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.320 on the podcast, we have mckel coming up on the podcast. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:49.360 Lots of people who have escaped from this man's grip. 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:54.400 And I've been watching court TV of him representing himself. 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:56.840 Can you say Ted Bundy, Oh my god. Yeah. 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.600 Something I learned this weekend was that so called sovereign 0:02:00.760 --> 0:02:05.200 citizens represent themselves in court because they don't recognize the 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:08.639 government and they don't recognize lawyers as like legitimate and 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:11.440 Sam apparently because I was watching this with my this 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.080 presentation with my mom, she was whispering to me saying, 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:17.400 that's why Sam represented himself because he subscribes to this idea. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:18.040 Stop. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.240 Well, he did a really bad job, thank god. And 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:27.680 it's just so number one, he's like really turning on 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:32.120 this Michelle Dugger voice, so he's almost talking like a 0:02:32.280 --> 0:02:37.200 woman now, Like he's trying to be super sweet, so 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:40.320 you know, he like like the sweetest sweet as sweet 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:45.160 could ever be is his new cadence, and he's impossible 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:45.920 to understand. 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:46.320 You can't. 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:49.560 He cannot make a clear point to save his life. 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:53.080 He thinks this is all about like the girls being 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:55.560 in the tractor trailer. The trailer, I guess I'm not 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.480 attractor trailer, and like he keeps being like, I didn't 0:02:58.520 --> 0:03:01.640 know they were in there, and it's like, that's not 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:05.000 the problem. You did know they were in there, but 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:08.799 that's not actually what any of us really care about. Yeah, 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.959 it's just always fascinating to watch these people really think 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:17.200 that they are smarter than the average bear. 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.640 Yes, I know, please please keep that in. 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:26.920 So I I'm so glad he got served way more 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.600 than the fifty years, because then there's all these other 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:33.239 child endangerment clauses, whatever the fuck it's called. I'm not 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:37.400 a lawyer, and I know that, so you know, he's 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.760 going to jail for a long time. It's so satisfying 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:44.960 and more to come on this story, Yes, definitely, And 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.920 it's been really fun to see all the women at 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.760 his child together in cahoots, you know, like cheering each 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:57.240 other on, like yeah. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.640 What a nice ending to a very otherwise very alarming story. 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.560 I know. I mean they're just like making direct eye 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:06.080 contact and being like, yep, you're an asshole. 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:10.280 Yeah yeah, I know. It's so sick. It's so awesome. 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:13.360 Yeah, God, it's the earth is healing. 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.520 What about you? What's your cultios thing? 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.720 I went to my first cult conference, which I'm so 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:24.240 sad you weren't able to attend, I know, but been 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.000 meaning to go to this for years. So IXA is 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:31.159 the International Cultic Studies Association, and every year they have 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.919 a conference. It's in a different city every year. It 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.400 was like Manchester a few years ago, so I definitely 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.680 didn't go to that one because what am I made 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.920 of money? But this year it was in San Diego, 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:45.360 which is just a couple hours south of us in 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:48.880 LA and so I was able to go and met 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:51.600 my mom there and saw so many of our former guests, 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:54.360 which was so cool because some of them I've only 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.040 ever seen in the little square on the on the screen, 0:04:58.000 --> 0:04:58.320 I know. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:00.240 Yeah. 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.239 I got to go to some presentations there, some really 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.440 interesting ones. There was this guy Dave Buddha who did 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:10.279 one that that was just like a fascinating premise, which 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:15.120 is he called it planned obsolescence in personal growth. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:17.080 Okay, this idea that. 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:20.880 Like, you go to these larger group awareness trainings like 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:25.200 a Tony Robbins or whatever, a landmark, and you are 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:28.160 sort of sold this idea that you're going to have 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:32.320 a permanently altered state of your life after that, when 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:36.920 in reality, there's a very knowingly, a very temporary and 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:41.440 fleeting emotional state being induced in you in these weekends. Yes, 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:43.560 and the goal is to get you to try to 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:46.760 keep chasing that feeling with the belief that it's going 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:50.360 to be eventually permanent. But instead it's actually like they 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:53.480 are well aware that it's typically not. I mean, of course, 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:55.479 there are some people whose lives are changed forever, but 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:57.560 for the most part, and he was, you know, kind 0:05:57.560 --> 0:05:59.400 of describing how it's a bell curve and most people 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.000 are in the middle, and of course there's people on 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:04.800 either end of the you know, extremes, but generally, you go, 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:07.560 you feel something, you go back to your life, you 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:10.200 don't feel it anymore, right, And so just the idea 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:13.000 of planned obsolescence, which for the folks who don't know 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:15.840 that term. That's kind of like this idea that let's 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:20.280 say your iPhone or whatever technological product, whatever product you have, 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:24.160 is designed to not last forever because if it eventually breaks. 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:25.360 Down, you do have to buy another one. 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.640 And I just thought that was a really cool concept 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:31.880 to apply to like self help seminars. 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.479 Yeah, I relate to this a lot, and that the 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.359 two by two is the cult that I grew up in. 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:40.679 We would have these conventions that were like four day long, 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:47.200 pretty intense seminars, you could say, and afterwards you would feel, 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:50.680 in my experience, would almost bring all of our parents 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:53.040 because I'm looking at this from my head into like 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:55.800 an OCD state of mind where it's. 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.520 Like fresh slate, clean slate. We've got to be perfect 0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.760 from here on out, you know. And then it would 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:01.280 just be like. 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:05.760 Slowly, slowly, you'd start to make human mistakes and then pray. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:07.080 It would it be like. 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.120 Ramped up for next year's convention where you felt so 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.160 guilty for not being perfect, and everyone would pray, Like 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.560 people would literally pray that they would die on their 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.080 way home from convention. 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:19.080 So that they would be clean. 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:20.640 Ah. 0:07:20.840 --> 0:07:22.320 Yeah, it's all in there. 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:26.040 Yeah, I think like, you know, it just pretty typical, 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:30.040 this idea that there's some state of perfection you're going 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.600 to achieve, when, of course, we are human. We are 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:37.440 human beings. Yeah, we're human beings. And I did say beans. 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:40.320 I just want to clarify that was intentional. I was 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:43.760 being cute. Sorry, I don't think it's. 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:46.160 I was like, totally, we are we're human beings. 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:51.040 Although I will say that Tony Robbins conference did permanently 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.760 jage my life, but not for reasons about him. I 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:58.720 just left it early and came home and caught my 0:07:58.800 --> 0:07:59.880 boyfriend doing that. 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:03.440 Jesus Christ. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.440 Yeah, I don't know if we can attribute that to that. No, 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.520 but I did leave. Oh so look at that. I 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:11.840 was like holding the notebook. 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:14.520 I was holding the notebook, the Tony Robbins notebook that 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.400 I'd filled out, and I was like, I'm leaving you. 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:18.280 Oh my god. 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:22.240 Anyway, what a perfect breakup story, Tony, call me shout out. 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.760 Anyway. That was just one of many. 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:27.720 There was another one on how cold you know, how 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:30.920 many of them replicate their coercive dynamics even after the 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.880 leader dies. You know, there's just a lot of interesting stuff, 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:37.920 and so folks check out, it's if you feel so inclined. 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:41.200 Sounds like some future topics for us to discuss. But 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:44.439 for now, Cindy, shall we talk to Jasper? Let's do it. 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:00.360 Welcome Jasper Hoffman to trust me. Thank you so much 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:01.120 for being with us. 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:02.760 I'm so excited to be here. 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.520 Yeah, so much to talk to you about. 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:08.320 First of all, you host a podcast called The Plain 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:12.560 People's Podcast, and the reason that you host this podcast 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:15.439 is because of your own upbringing. First of all, what 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.560 does plane people refer to? 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:20.520 Good question, because a lot of people mistake it for 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.160 the planes people because they think it's people that are 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:24.400 out on the planes and it's not. 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:25.320 So. 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.520 Plain people is a term that's very commonly used within 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:33.160 the church and then outside of the church to describe 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:37.320 members of the conservative Anabaptist churches. So that would be 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:43.520 conservative Amish, Mennonite Brethren, a little bit of maybe like 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:44.280 the Hutterites. 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:46.400 But yes, so the plain people. 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.640 It ties into wanting to be separate from the world, 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.640 so they want to be viewed as plain and simple. 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.840 So the plain People's just a nice little umbrella term 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:57.600 to kind of include all those churches. 0:09:58.160 --> 0:09:59.640 Do they talk to each other? 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.319 Like in my head the Amish people don't like Mennonite, 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:03.719 you know what I mean, thinking like of a. 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.840 Like West Side Story kind of thing where they hate 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:08.760 each other, but they sound like they kind of have 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:09.520 a lot in common. 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:10.400 They do. 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:14.640 I will say that any cult or any church is 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:17.360 a lot like lasagna, where it's pretty much all the 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:21.040 same ingredients, but everybody has their own little unique flavoring 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:24.040 and everyone thinks that they are the winner. 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.600 Of the pot luck for sure. 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.760 Yeah, so they do talk to each other, and it's 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:36.520 very common to for churches, like if you'll leave Amish, 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.720 then they'll go to Mennonite, or some Menonite will. 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:40.360 End up going Amish. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.160 And then there's kind of to make it even more confusing, 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:47.240 you have Amish Menonites. Oh so you just kind of 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.800 have every branch that you could possibly want to go into. 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:54.199 Right, Okay, wow, yeah I didn't know that. 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.000 Well, I'm so curious about the ins and outs of 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:59.480 the different ones, But firstly, let's start with the one 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.920 you're in. Also, something so fascinating by your story is 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.319 that you were not born into it. You your parents converted. 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.600 So what was going on with your parents before this happened? 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.240 How did this transition happen. 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:12.280 It's funny. 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.720 I had a conversation with my mom at breakfast over 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.280 this because she was like, did you tell anybody like 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.760 this portion of it? I was like, no, that's your story. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.280 So I try to keep their stuff for their own telling. 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:28.760 But ultimately as an adult now I'm in my forties, 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:32.040 and it changes the perspective of looking at your family 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:35.520 joining a cult versus when you're in the experience. So 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.760 I look at them as individuals, not only as my parents, 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:43.080 and I really think that what was happening. Obviously, we 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:46.720 didn't have social media back in the you know, up 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:50.440 until recently, so it was more difficult to connect with 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:56.360 people that had common lifestyle goals as you and My 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.160 mom grew up in Hollywood, she went to private French school. 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:03.199 She grew up in Rolling Hills, so she went to 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.800 school with Jodie Foster Christie Brinkley. So it's like, not 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.360 how you would think would want to start quilting. Yeahs 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.440 opposite world, Yeah, okay, totally. 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:13.360 And she was a punk rocker, so wow. 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.960 I was really into alternative living, which kind of makes 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.720 sense when you think about joining into a cult, because 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:24.119 it too is alternative living and it's just not going mainstream. 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:25.160 So I think there was. 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:29.200 Always that with that attraction there for something that was 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.960 like a little bit unique and different. And my parents 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:38.240 met in college in northern California, in Humboldt County at HSU, 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.160 and my dad was an anthropology major my mom was 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:44.720 studying history, so they were very fascinated with culture also, 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.559 and they ended up getting married and lived in southern California, 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.960 where I was born, and by the time I was three, 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:53.480 they realized they didn't want to raise me in the city, 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:56.760 and so they moved back up to Humboldt. And if 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:01.520 anybody knows anything about humbold County, it is hippies, lots 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.520 of weed, and very alternative, off the grid living. And 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.360 so it should come as no surprise that in the 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:11.640 early late eighties early nineties there was this very large 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:15.440 movement which we see today with the tradwife movement, but 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.360 there wasn't social media to really drive that and to 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:21.400 curate that, so instead it was a lot of homesteadying 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.960 and a lot of people that were pulling their children 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:27.839 out of public school to homeschool them, way before it 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.360 became accepted like it is today. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:32.920 So I was a product of that. So I went 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.440 to public school through third grade, and at that time 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.559 there was some changes in the family dynamic. 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.160 My grandfather passed away, and so my mom, who was 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:47.000 a self proclaimed atheist punk rocker, made a promise to 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:50.000 her father that she would take me to church. He 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:54.240 was devout Catholic, and so she started attending a non 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.439 denominational church with me. And at this point I was 0:13:56.559 --> 0:14:00.080 nine years old, so I was in third grade, and 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:05.720 through this non denominational church, we were introduced to the 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.920 homeschool group that was there, and it was large. I 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:13.280 mean we had several families, so the variety was there. 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:15.840 Whether it was somebody that was secular that just was 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:21.080 anti government, or it was this fundamentalist movement with conservative Christians. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.680 So it was kind of like you could fall into 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:27.080 the spectrum, and so it was very welcoming for my parents. 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.760 I feel like, at that time. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.160 What is a homeschool group, Like, it's just a smaller 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.560 version of school. Then at that point, right, how does 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:36.040 it work exactly? I was homeschool for part of my 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:36.720 schooling as well. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.040 It was very organized, so we had a secretary, we 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:43.320 had somebody that was curating different field trips, we had 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:44.880 lots of learning experiences. 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:48.360 The families really connected and got together. So yes, in 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:51.160 a way, we were not all studying together, right, So 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.760 we were within the home doing our own schooling and 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.200 had our own curriculum based off of a family's needs, 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:02.000 which is what ties into how we were introduced to Mennonites. 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:06.640 But for community and connection, there was a lot of 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:09.720 support whenever it came to doing field trips, into doing 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.600 I see a lot of things. So you weren't just 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.880 isolated kind of on your own, right, right, right, Yeah. 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:19.200 I will say I remember like playing a softball team 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.280 in high school that was the homeschool team, and I 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:22.800 was like, this is gonna be a piece of cake, 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:28.200 and they like beat our asses. A very organized system. 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:29.880 The practicing. 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:32.560 Yeah, in high school, I was in the I was 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:36.480 in a homeschool program in Burbank in LA. But it 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:39.120 was like a lot of like actor kids, So it 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.840 wasn't it wasn't like that organized. 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:45.040 And I went to homeschool prom and it was the worst. 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:49.760 It was so bad. Nobody knew each other. It was 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:50.920 so awkward. 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:56.120 Were you voted homeschool prom queen? Of course not left early. 0:15:56.280 --> 0:16:00.120 I was like I feel so alone anyway, so I 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.800 feel you okay, So well, I'm just so curious of 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:07.880 how it felt to be a third grader with these 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:12.240 parents who are seemingly so cool, and then all of 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:16.000 a sudden they're like, wait, we're doing this now, Like 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:18.040 what were you thinking and feeling? 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.680 I liken it a lot to just being bore, like 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:25.000 a lobster. So you have no idea really what you're 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:26.200 getting into with this. 0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:29.440 And I was sick. I was nine. All I wanted 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.080 to do was ride horses and not have to sit 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.760 in school. So to me, they did. They did ask me. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.119 My parents did ask me if I would be interested 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:41.400 in being homeschool So I did have some autonomy at 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:45.560 that point and a voice, I feel like, and so 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:49.880 at that time it sounded fun. So initially it was great. 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.360 And the only thing was is I just remember there 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.600 being a lot of contention in the home because my 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:59.000 parents are artsy fartsy, and all of a sudden we're 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:02.720 trying to learn math and having somebody, you know, everybody 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.600 hates math and the family, and so I just remember 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:08.840 it being a lot of arguing over like science and 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.080 anything that just didn't come naturally. 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:15.920 For us, and it was difficult, so through that homeschool group, 0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:20.000 though at the time there were not a lot of 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:26.040 supporting textbook companies, so we had Abecca Christian Light Publications. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:29.080 There was a few other that were coming. 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:33.280 Like from Bill Gothard, more fundy type of things than Brooklets. 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.040 Yes, exactly so. 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:40.720 And the nice thing about, I guess homeschooling is that 0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:43.080 you can kind of pick and choose your curriculum based 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.800 off of how you want to teach your children. So 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.960 one of the textbooks companies was coming out of Crocket, Kentucky, 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.320 and they are called Roden Staff and they produced the 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.640 text most of the textbooks used in Amish and Mennonite schools, 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:05.439 and a lot of homeschool families like how simple it 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:08.159 is to teach out of the Rowden Staff books. 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:09.560 They make it very easy. 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.520 So a lot of the families were sourcing their books 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.400 from Roden Staff, to the point where Roden Staff had 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:19.359 reached out to the secretary of the homeschool group to 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.520 see why, because obviously there wasn't a church out there, 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:24.760 and so they were trying to get a little bit 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:27.080 of a feel for the area, and so they had 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:31.000 asked if they sent missionaries there to do a Revival 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:33.480 week long service of Mennonite. 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:34.880 Would there be interest? 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:35.719 Oh? 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:41.120 Oh, so there was? And my parents were like, I'll 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:43.080 never forget. My mom was like, oh my god, those 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:48.399 are the people that make the quilts. Yes, So we 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:52.560 ended up hosting a family. They sent missionaries down from Alberta, 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.000 Canada and up from Farming to New Mexico. 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.400 What does Revival week mean? Really quick? What does that mean? 0:18:58.680 --> 0:18:59.280 So? Really? 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.879 Like from what I remember being that age, it was 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:08.119 pretty much church service, every evening evening service. And I 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:11.560 think they were just gauging what the opportunities were and 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:14.680 what the interests were, if if it was worth sending 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:19.000 and establishing a pop up church there, which there was, 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:20.359 so they did. 0:19:20.560 --> 0:19:20.679 So. 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.520 My parents are one of the founding families to bring 0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:26.200 Mennonights to California. 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:28.520 Pute a claim debate. 0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:32.040 So these revival people come and they're bringing their books 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:35.280 and there are things, and you're going to church every night, 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:41.520 which ps sounds like my worst nightmare. And you are 0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:47.119 like this seems weird or cool or interesting or I 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:48.240 think at. 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:50.080 That time, well, I mean to be fair. 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:53.520 The week prior to that, I had a horse that 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:56.359 kicked me in my face, and so I had a hole. 0:19:57.280 --> 0:19:59.879 Oh my goodness, that's important to note. So you're in 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:01.560 a weird state of mind. 0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.639 And literally yes, So I literally was like had to 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:08.239 miss some of the revival because I was just like 0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:13.200 laid up with my face like completely just massacred. 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:17.359 So there was that going on. But I remember just 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:21.320 being intrigued. I mean, it doesn't I was nine, yeah, 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:25.280 you know, and I'm going with other children that were 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:28.080 in the homeschool group, so it didn't seem like I 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:31.000 was really at odds. And so I just really don't 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:33.679 think that I had a full understanding of what was 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:36.480 going to be required of me. Yeah, and there is. 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:40.840 It's the love bombing phase of any church, I believe, 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:45.919 and any abusive relationship where everything just looks so pretty 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:49.679 on the outside. And to boot, they have amazing food. 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.560 So you've got great, great food you have you know, 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:57.119 everything is like just very warm and comforting and it 0:20:57.160 --> 0:20:58.080 feels fun. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.400 And it provided a lot of. 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.800 Structure for families in the area that had a lot 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:09.119 of dysfunction within because I think naturally people are drawn 0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:15.000 to these authoritarian, high control, high demand religion because I mean, 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.840 you guys know, there's something internally. That's like not being 0:21:18.920 --> 0:21:21.119 met a need, and people don't know how to source 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:24.439 that from within, so they're looking for a guidebook. So 0:21:24.560 --> 0:21:28.200 typically people that were joining in were coming from very 0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:34.360 financially irresponsible families, people with a lot of dysfunction, mental illness, 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:39.280 abusive homes, alcoholics, you know, any addicts. They're just naturally 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:43.720 kind of flocking to this structure, especially conservative churches, because 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:46.800