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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, work, dating, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buggle up, hold on tight.

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Speaker 1: We got it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject. I don't know my husband at all,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I am an older married woman and

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Speaker 1: this is my second marriage. When I met my husband,

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Speaker 1: he was extremely handsome and generous. We connected spiritually and

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Speaker 1: he joined my church. We didn't court for long, and

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Speaker 1: he said he knew I was his soul mate the

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Speaker 1: minute we met. I knew things could be going too

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Speaker 1: fast because I'm his third wife, but I felt the

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Speaker 1: same connection to him, so I agreed to marry him.

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Speaker 1: Only five people came to our wedding, and they were

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Speaker 1: all my family. None of his children or family members came.

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Speaker 1: My two daughters thought we were rushing into this since

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Speaker 1: I had only known him for eight months. And I

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Speaker 1: told him how they felt, and he snapped back and

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Speaker 1: said my grown daughters need to stay out of our business.

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Speaker 1: On our wedding night, we had sex and it was

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Speaker 1: just okay, so I figured it would get better with time.

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Speaker 1: It has not, because we haven't had sex since we

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Speaker 1: got married three months ago. He does not go to

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Speaker 1: church anymore, and on Sunday mornings he goes to the

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Speaker 1: casino with his brother. When I asked him about wasting money,

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Speaker 1: he said he has extra money because my house is

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Speaker 1: paid for and all he has to pay is utilities,

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Speaker 1: so it's not a waste of money. I asked him

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Speaker 1: why we don't have sex, and he said it's not

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Speaker 1: a woman's place to do the chasing. So I need

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Speaker 1: to be patient and let him come on to me.

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Speaker 1: If I asked him anything, I get that kind of response,

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Speaker 1: and his mouth is so reckless that I go for

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Speaker 1: days without talking to him him. My daughters do not

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Speaker 1: like him and think I should get my marriage annulled.

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Speaker 1: I am not ready to give up on him. On

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Speaker 1: the bright side, he cooks dinner every day and he

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Speaker 1: keeps the house clean. We live his roommates, not his

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Speaker 1: husband and wife. What has happened to the man I'm married? Well,

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Speaker 1: this is him this is who you married. This is

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Speaker 1: who you married. You just weren't with him long enough

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Speaker 1: to get to know him, to find out this other part.

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Speaker 1: I know this is not what you signed up for.

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Speaker 1: You say you're not ready to give up on him,

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Speaker 1: But what are you waiting on? You say, he talks

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Speaker 1: to you crazy, He goes to the casino on Sunday,

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Speaker 1: loses money after only three months, he's already given up

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Speaker 1: on you and the marriage. You get no sex. You're right,

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Speaker 1: and you don't know your husband at all because you

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Speaker 1: never met him. The guy you met was a representative

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Speaker 1: who you know, the generous one going to church with you,

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Speaker 1: you all connected spiritually and all that. The one who

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Speaker 1: had sex with you one time, and that was on

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Speaker 1: your wedding night. You say that was all in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: But and he was definitely not your soul mate. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I do you think though, maybe you guys moved too fast,

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Speaker 1: because I think that you were concerned that this was

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Speaker 1: your second marriage, this is his third marriage. I think

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Speaker 1: you guys moved too fast. I'm sure this is not

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Speaker 1: what you want in a husband. Cooking and cleaning, those

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Speaker 1: are great qualities, great qualities to have. But since that's

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Speaker 1: all he does. It's definitely not enough to sustain a

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Speaker 1: marriage or to stay in a marriage. He's mean to you,

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Speaker 1: he's selfish and controlling, and he has no regard for

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Speaker 1: what you need. It just sounds like he married you.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say it, because your house was paid for

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Speaker 1: and all he had to pay were utility, so he

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Speaker 1: scott free financially. I agree with your daughters who said

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Speaker 1: you should get your marriage annulled. I think you should

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Speaker 1: get out of this sham of a marriage just as

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Speaker 1: quickly as you got in it, because it's gonna keep

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Speaker 1: getting worse and you're not having sex anyway, and you

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Speaker 1: know he's not the man you thought you knew anyway,

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Speaker 1: So why waste more of your time? Steve, uh, very

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Speaker 1: quick letter to me. You're an older woman, she's second marriage.

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Speaker 1: You met your husband. He was extremely handsome and generous. Well,

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Speaker 1: you said he was extremely handsome and generally so some happen,

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Speaker 1: something happened. Now he now his last Yeah, yeah, he

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Speaker 1: just he he was extremely handsome, y'all, connected spiritually, and

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Speaker 1: he joined your church. Y'all. We didn't court long because

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Speaker 1: he said he knew I was just so so made

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Speaker 1: the moment we met, I knew things was going too

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Speaker 1: fast because I'm his third wife, but I felt the

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Speaker 1: same connection to him, so I agreed to marry him. Really, okay,

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Speaker 1: well check this out. Only five people came now wedding,

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Speaker 1: and they were all my family. None of his children

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Speaker 1: are family members came. That's cause they knew, here we

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Speaker 1: go again. He ain't worth for a damn nowhere, so

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Speaker 1: here we go again. Okay, So now that's the end

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Speaker 1: of that. You you you didn't got this wed and

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Speaker 1: five people came, all of your family, then your two daughters.

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Speaker 1: I thought y'all was rushing into it since you only

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Speaker 1: knew him for eight months. I told him how they felled.

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Speaker 1: He snapped back and said, your grown daughters need to

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Speaker 1: stay out of our business. Oh he touched you too,

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Speaker 1: so he fast moving. He ain't handsome no more, and

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Speaker 1: don't then't nobody his family even bother come into the

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Speaker 1: video to the wedding, and now he touches. I don't

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Speaker 1: see nothing good in this matter at all. On our

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Speaker 1: wedding night, we had sex and it was just okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, And then you figured it will get better

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Speaker 1: with time. It has not, because we ain't had sex

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Speaker 1: since we got married three months ago. What and he

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Speaker 1: don't go to church anymore? Well, he just joined the

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Speaker 1: church to make to make a good showing. On Sunday morning,

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Speaker 1: he goes to the casino with his brother. When I

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Speaker 1: asked him about wasting money, he said, he has extra

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Speaker 1: money because my house is paid for and all he

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Speaker 1: has to do is pay utilities. Wow, he played you. Huh,

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Speaker 1: he's straight cold played you. So he got extra money

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Speaker 1: because his money his money, y'all's money, ain't Charles money.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour, subject today, I don't

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Speaker 1: know my husband at all. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter, the subject I don't know

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Speaker 1: my husband at all. Well, you don't because you rushed

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Speaker 1: into it like your daughters thought you did, and like

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Speaker 1: you realized you did, and you said you thought it

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Speaker 1: might be moving fast because this was his third marriage.

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Speaker 1: He used to be handsome. He ain't no more, ain't

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Speaker 1: but five people come to the wed and they was

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Speaker 1: all your family, his kids, and nobody else showed up.

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Speaker 1: He didn't tell nobody. Then you've only known it for

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Speaker 1: eight months. Ain't nobody come to the wedding because they

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Speaker 1: knew he wasn't about nothing? Then you you told him

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Speaker 1: that your daughters thought they ran into it too quick.

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Speaker 1: He said they need to mind their own business. He

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Speaker 1: touches on. You wed and night y'all had sex. He

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Speaker 1: was jess okay, So I figured it would get better

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Speaker 1: with time. It's not because y'all ain't had sex since

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Speaker 1: we got married three months ago. You might not be

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Speaker 1: the only one. I thought it was jess okay. Then

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to throw that out there, but it

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Speaker 1: probably it got nothing to do with you, though. It

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Speaker 1: looks like to me, ma'am, you just married the wrong guy.

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Speaker 1: He does not go to church anymore. That's because he

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Speaker 1: just joined your church to make it look good. On

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Speaker 1: Sunday morning, he goes to the casino with his brother.

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Speaker 1: When I asked him about wasting money, he said, he's

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Speaker 1: got extra money because my house is paid for and

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Speaker 1: all he has to do is pay utility. What So

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Speaker 1: he made this own arrangement himself. So in the eight

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Speaker 1: months where you didn't get to know him, he found

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Speaker 1: out everything he needed to know about you, or one

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Speaker 1: of the things he found out. Your house is paid

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Speaker 1: so now, so it's not a waste of money. I

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Speaker 1: asked him why we don't have sex, and he said

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Speaker 1: it's not a woman's place to do to chase it.

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Speaker 1: So I need to be patient and let him come

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Speaker 1: home to me. Well, it's been ninety days. When I

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Speaker 1: created the ninety day rule in my book, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: for people who was married. I don't you know. You

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Speaker 1: can go ahead and has sack now you do. This

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Speaker 1: ain't the place for the ninety day route. Okay, step

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Speaker 1: I got a question. Okay, she says. On the bright side, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you got it. You gotta get today. Let me just

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Speaker 1: get dinner every day right here and keep the house clean.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of a responsive, mouthish, reckless go for days.

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Speaker 1: So I talked to the daughters. Don't like him. I

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Speaker 1: think I should get my marriage, and no, Shirley said

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Speaker 1: you should get it, and know I agree. I'm not

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Speaker 1: ready to give up on him. Well that's a stupid statement,

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Speaker 1: because he didn't gave up on you. Ye. Right, on

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Speaker 1: the bright side, he cooks dinner every day and he

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Speaker 1: keeps the house clean. So damn what every day? Ain't

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Speaker 1: you right? Ain't I keep making place for you and

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Speaker 1: the people of homeless people in the neighborhood. He eating,

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Speaker 1: he liked cooking, and he like a clean house. He

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Speaker 1: don't like sex with you. He don't like going to church.

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Speaker 1: He don't like talking to you with respect. He don't

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Speaker 1: like your daughters. He doesn't like his family. He don't

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Speaker 1: like his family. His family don't like him. He don't

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Speaker 1: really want to be married. He don't like nobody but

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Speaker 1: the casino and his brother get he go gambling with

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Speaker 1: It's just a lot right now? Man? Why'd you tell

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Speaker 1: him your house was paid for? Wow? So he doesn't

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Speaker 1: pay utilities, cook and clean? He pimping the game. If

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Speaker 1: I wish you, i'd get your marriage. No, like your

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Speaker 1: daughter said, get it an it don't even count as

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Speaker 1: a marriage. And walk off and put him out. And

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Speaker 1: you ain't lost nothing, ain't nothing lost right now? You

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Speaker 1: ain't that you ain't ready to give up on it.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't be up. I mean he threw, yeah, he

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Speaker 1: got out, rode all over him. And how you're gonna

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Speaker 1: see it? It It is beyond me. I'm out, lady. You

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Speaker 1: gotta take this here. You could do this by yourself.

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Speaker 1: So you thought you had a soul mate because he said,

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Speaker 1: I knew you used my soul mate the moment you

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Speaker 1: matter that. This is how he treats a soul mate.

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Speaker 1: I want to be that type soul mate. Right, man,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. Don't call me soul mate, call

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Speaker 1: me strange. Right. He just means getting looking about her

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Speaker 1: daughter's crazy. Man, this dude is a complete waste of time. Lady,

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Speaker 1: come on about your bids real because he used to

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Speaker 1: be handsled I remember and generous. Oh yeah, he did

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Speaker 1: jazz enough to get you now, that's what I'm saying, Representative. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to apologize to work some lowdown ass

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Speaker 1: dudes out here, man's but that's why I say, man,

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Speaker 1: you've got to take your time to get to know

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Speaker 1: these yes people instead of falling in love with they

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Speaker 1: representative the first thirty days, you're gonna get the best

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Speaker 1: him he can be if you just wait, if you'd

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Speaker 1: wait it out, you could have found all this out emishly.

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Speaker 1: Just because she's an older woman, you know, sometimes she

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Speaker 1: she may have gotten anxious thinking she wasn't gonna find

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Speaker 1: anyone else you know him and all that, and you

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Speaker 1: ain't found nobody, right, Yeah, that's true. So just let

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Speaker 1: him go get that alument. Like your daughters say, please

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Speaker 1: get the aluement. Lady going about your business. Yes, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's

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Speaker 1: Steve harvef Emine, Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. Coming up with forty six after

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Speaker 1: our more sports talk with Junior What right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Day Harvey Morning Show