1 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:23,756 Speaker 1: Pushkin pop music's long standing party animal, Kesha is now 2 00:00:23,836 --> 00:00:27,556 Speaker 1: dead set on slowing down and on speaking up. Since 3 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,996 Speaker 1: debuting on the hook of flow Writers Mega Hit Right 4 00:00:30,076 --> 00:00:33,396 Speaker 1: Round in two thousand and nine, Kesha's released five albums, 5 00:00:33,996 --> 00:00:37,356 Speaker 1: two of which debuted at number one. Until very recently, 6 00:00:37,396 --> 00:00:39,636 Speaker 1: she was involved in a decade long court case with 7 00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:43,956 Speaker 1: her former producer and labelhead. Somehow, despite that bitter legal 8 00:00:43,996 --> 00:00:47,236 Speaker 1: battle and a public struggle with an eating disorder, Kesha's 9 00:00:47,276 --> 00:00:50,516 Speaker 1: remained steadfast in sharing her art with her fans, who 10 00:00:50,596 --> 00:00:55,476 Speaker 1: she affectionately refers to as her animals. On today's episode, 11 00:00:55,476 --> 00:00:57,756 Speaker 1: I talked to Kesha about how working with Rick Rubin 12 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,436 Speaker 1: on her new album Gag Order provided the safe space 13 00:01:00,556 --> 00:01:03,836 Speaker 1: she's longed for when making music. She also talks about 14 00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:06,996 Speaker 1: how she channels Dolly Parton, Iggy Pop and Beyonce when 15 00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:09,556 Speaker 1: she's in promotion mode, and how early on her career 16 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,316 Speaker 1: she lived in a castle with roommate to Vendra Banhard. 17 00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:18,476 Speaker 1: This is broken record liner notes for the digital Age. 18 00:01:18,676 --> 00:01:23,436 Speaker 1: I'm justin Ritchman. Here's my interview with Kesha. Look at you. 19 00:01:23,596 --> 00:01:26,396 Speaker 2: There you are, Oh my god, Here I am there. 20 00:01:26,196 --> 00:01:29,596 Speaker 1: You are here, I am I'm nobody. 21 00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:30,916 Speaker 2: I am also nobody. 22 00:01:31,036 --> 00:01:33,436 Speaker 1: Well that's not true based on what I've what I 23 00:01:33,516 --> 00:01:34,276 Speaker 1: heard from this album. 24 00:01:34,436 --> 00:01:37,756 Speaker 2: I was just listening to the episode with Andrea last night. 25 00:01:38,156 --> 00:01:40,876 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so good. It's a 26 00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:41,636 Speaker 1: great episode. 27 00:01:41,796 --> 00:01:47,276 Speaker 2: It made me feel so good, like it made me 28 00:01:47,276 --> 00:01:49,836 Speaker 2: feel good about myself, I guess, which is the beauty 29 00:01:49,836 --> 00:01:51,996 Speaker 2: of sharing intimate parts of your mind. 30 00:01:52,236 --> 00:01:54,916 Speaker 1: Made you feel like seen, you know, yeah. 31 00:01:54,596 --> 00:01:57,156 Speaker 2: And also not alone, which I feel like is the 32 00:01:57,276 --> 00:01:59,436 Speaker 2: goal in making art. 33 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,916 Speaker 1: Was there any particular part of it that resonated. 34 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:06,396 Speaker 2: Like the entire thing? Just his ability to be so 35 00:02:06,556 --> 00:02:10,156 Speaker 2: vulnerable about and like really transparent about where he was 36 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:14,516 Speaker 2: at when they recorded. That was helpful, especially the part 37 00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:19,516 Speaker 2: about imposter syndrome and feeling like sometimes just when you 38 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,636 Speaker 2: have this hole inside of you, you focus on the 39 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:26,556 Speaker 2: goal of making something great and then when you make it, 40 00:02:27,156 --> 00:02:29,236 Speaker 2: that hole is going to be filled. And then when 41 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:31,796 Speaker 2: you do make it, and like, by the grace of God, 42 00:02:31,916 --> 00:02:34,276 Speaker 2: and I'm so grateful and so at the risk of 43 00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:38,156 Speaker 2: sounding like an asshole, because I am grateful and I 44 00:02:38,156 --> 00:02:41,076 Speaker 2: don't want to ever sound like I'm not. But when 45 00:02:41,116 --> 00:02:45,156 Speaker 2: you achieve success, thinking that's going to fix you, and 46 00:02:45,236 --> 00:02:47,636 Speaker 2: it doesn't, then you're kind of left at the top 47 00:02:47,716 --> 00:02:53,596 Speaker 2: of a mountain like alone, lonely, still broken. 48 00:02:54,236 --> 00:02:55,716 Speaker 1: But accomplished. 49 00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:01,396 Speaker 2: Yeah, accomplished, accomplished alone and like you've exercised all the 50 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:05,236 Speaker 2: resources you thought were going to fix you. So I 51 00:03:05,316 --> 00:03:08,196 Speaker 2: just relate to that, like, not every day, but when 52 00:03:08,236 --> 00:03:10,556 Speaker 2: I have those moments, you feel so alone in that, 53 00:03:10,716 --> 00:03:14,396 Speaker 2: and it's scary, it's sad, it's lonely, it's terrible. 54 00:03:15,156 --> 00:03:18,396 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, how long into your career did it take 55 00:03:18,796 --> 00:03:23,396 Speaker 1: for that feeling to sort of make its way into 56 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,636 Speaker 1: your It's funny. 57 00:03:24,396 --> 00:03:29,276 Speaker 2: Because, like, I think it actually is helpful that I 58 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:32,156 Speaker 2: have these insecurities that I sing about on the record 59 00:03:32,236 --> 00:03:36,236 Speaker 2: and that I'm pretty transparent about now. In my life, 60 00:03:36,836 --> 00:03:40,716 Speaker 2: I've never really felt that feeling of I'm on top 61 00:03:40,756 --> 00:03:42,316 Speaker 2: of the world. Even when I had the number one 62 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,836 Speaker 2: album in the country, even when my song broke records, 63 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:50,956 Speaker 2: I felt like it was all weird luck and I 64 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:54,076 Speaker 2: never had that feeling of like walking into a room 65 00:03:54,116 --> 00:03:58,236 Speaker 2: and being like suck by dick bitches, Like I wish 66 00:03:58,316 --> 00:04:01,556 Speaker 2: I had a moment of that, because looking back, I'm like, fuck, 67 00:04:01,636 --> 00:04:03,676 Speaker 2: I should have at least had like a year of 68 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:07,716 Speaker 2: being a narcissistic asshole and I missed it. 69 00:04:08,156 --> 00:04:11,356 Speaker 1: This is always awkward. We met the day actually you 70 00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:16,236 Speaker 1: met Rick. Oh my god. Were walking on the beach 71 00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:21,436 Speaker 1: in Malibu doing a separate interview for something different, But yeah, 72 00:04:21,476 --> 00:04:24,676 Speaker 1: you had just met with Rick. We were talking and 73 00:04:24,716 --> 00:04:26,716 Speaker 1: it was a good vibe. But even then I didn't 74 00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:28,636 Speaker 1: want to. It's always weird to tell someone like when 75 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:33,116 Speaker 1: you've met them, But I met you like pre TikTok 76 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:38,956 Speaker 1: kesha like you. No, it's really not a bad story. 77 00:04:38,996 --> 00:04:41,556 Speaker 1: It was just no, it was just it was great. 78 00:04:42,236 --> 00:04:49,116 Speaker 1: It was Coachella two thousand and seven or eight, and 79 00:04:49,316 --> 00:04:51,716 Speaker 1: I was at the back of a tent watching Devandra 80 00:04:51,836 --> 00:04:59,116 Speaker 1: Banhart and a blonde girl and a brunette of some 81 00:04:59,276 --> 00:05:02,196 Speaker 1: I don't but just the script don't remember came up. 82 00:05:03,516 --> 00:05:06,556 Speaker 1: I think we were all probably inebriated, but I remember 83 00:05:07,356 --> 00:05:10,996 Speaker 1: me maybe not. You just get in I won't well, 84 00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:13,716 Speaker 1: I won't, you know, put your business out there like that. 85 00:05:13,956 --> 00:05:16,716 Speaker 1: But your friend was like, do you know who this is? 86 00:05:17,356 --> 00:05:19,836 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I know, I have no. 87 00:05:21,436 --> 00:05:24,596 Speaker 2: Clue. That's a good friend right there. I don't remember 88 00:05:24,716 --> 00:05:27,836 Speaker 2: this particular exchange, but I do remember going to see 89 00:05:27,836 --> 00:05:31,596 Speaker 2: Devendra Banhart and I ended up sharing the same house 90 00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:35,596 Speaker 2: with him in Laurel Canyon at one point. Wow, but 91 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:38,516 Speaker 2: there were so many rooms. The place was like a 92 00:05:38,556 --> 00:05:42,076 Speaker 2: castle that I don't think we ever even met. There 93 00:05:42,156 --> 00:05:45,036 Speaker 2: were like twelve rooms in this house, or like ten rooms. 94 00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:48,156 Speaker 2: And I would come home and I think he shot 95 00:05:48,156 --> 00:05:50,316 Speaker 2: a music video in the living room on my couch, 96 00:05:50,796 --> 00:05:52,476 Speaker 2: and I like came in and it was just like 97 00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:56,996 Speaker 2: a very it's a very sexy group of individuals like 98 00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:58,996 Speaker 2: on my couch, and I was like, the fuck is 99 00:05:59,036 --> 00:05:59,716 Speaker 2: going on here? 100 00:05:59,796 --> 00:06:01,276 Speaker 1: But sounds magical. 101 00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:04,716 Speaker 2: It was a magical time. But like your story checks out, 102 00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:06,796 Speaker 2: is there like a worse part? 103 00:06:07,036 --> 00:06:08,756 Speaker 1: No, No, there's no bad part to it. It only 104 00:06:08,756 --> 00:06:11,956 Speaker 1: it just it you having said that there was never 105 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,756 Speaker 1: a part in time in your life where you feel 106 00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:16,196 Speaker 1: like you arrived, and some of your honesty on the 107 00:06:16,516 --> 00:06:20,876 Speaker 1: record about it reminded me of that time because it 108 00:06:20,916 --> 00:06:23,436 Speaker 1: was I remember your friend saying that her being like 109 00:06:23,476 --> 00:06:26,196 Speaker 1: this Kesha she sings on the flow Rider song right round, 110 00:06:26,236 --> 00:06:28,476 Speaker 1: and I was like looking at you, thinking about the souse, 111 00:06:28,516 --> 00:06:30,476 Speaker 1: like this is no way this is the same person. 112 00:06:31,196 --> 00:06:32,996 Speaker 1: I remember your name, and then like you was later 113 00:06:33,276 --> 00:06:35,276 Speaker 1: or a year or two later, TikTok came out, and 114 00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:37,716 Speaker 1: remember you were kind of like it was like you 115 00:06:37,756 --> 00:06:39,796 Speaker 1: were off to the races. 116 00:06:39,396 --> 00:06:41,756 Speaker 2: But blasted off into outer space. 117 00:06:41,996 --> 00:06:44,676 Speaker 1: Even in that moment though, you didn't really seem super 118 00:06:44,716 --> 00:06:47,756 Speaker 1: comfortable to me, and like, yeah, I'm Kesha of right 119 00:06:47,836 --> 00:06:51,796 Speaker 1: round fame was like your friend was really interesting. 120 00:06:51,876 --> 00:06:56,316 Speaker 2: Very very good friend, and I'm lucky to be surrounded 121 00:06:56,356 --> 00:06:59,996 Speaker 2: by awesome women that we always like build each other 122 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:03,276 Speaker 2: up and like have each other's backs. And you say, 123 00:07:03,276 --> 00:07:05,276 Speaker 2: I never felt comfortable in that role, But I don't 124 00:07:05,276 --> 00:07:11,316 Speaker 2: think I've just ever felt super comfortable period, like ever 125 00:07:11,596 --> 00:07:14,716 Speaker 2: in my entire life. I mean, have you had like 126 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:19,716 Speaker 2: an elongated period of time where you've just felt super company. 127 00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:23,676 Speaker 1: I'm starting to now, and I'm worried that that means something. 128 00:07:24,556 --> 00:07:26,996 Speaker 2: Oh that's so nice. That's that gives me hope. 129 00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:28,876 Speaker 1: It gives me hope, but it also gives me anxiety 130 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,476 Speaker 1: because it does feel like maybe the other shoes is 131 00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:34,756 Speaker 1: about to drop on some level and I should be prepared, 132 00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:35,356 Speaker 1: and I'm. 133 00:07:35,196 --> 00:07:37,396 Speaker 2: Not knowing what if it's what if you just earned it? 134 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,316 Speaker 1: What if? But then how long can that last? How 135 00:07:40,356 --> 00:07:44,716 Speaker 1: long can it lasts until you know, well, getting comfortable, comfortable, 136 00:07:44,836 --> 00:07:45,556 Speaker 1: It's pretty sure. 137 00:07:45,956 --> 00:07:47,796 Speaker 2: Just like taking the good. When you get the good, 138 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,196 Speaker 2: you have to let it in as much as you 139 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,596 Speaker 2: do the bad. That's something I'm trying to exercise on 140 00:07:51,636 --> 00:07:52,556 Speaker 2: a daily basis. 141 00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:53,716 Speaker 1: It's a fair point. 142 00:07:53,876 --> 00:07:56,356 Speaker 2: Like I sometimes I don't know if this is the 143 00:07:56,356 --> 00:08:00,036 Speaker 2: same with everybody or it's just like my special concoction 144 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:04,596 Speaker 2: of brain cells. But when I see I can see 145 00:08:04,596 --> 00:08:08,556 Speaker 2: like a hundred thousand positives and the one negative thing 146 00:08:08,596 --> 00:08:12,316 Speaker 2: will be the thing I keep with me and convert 147 00:08:12,436 --> 00:08:15,676 Speaker 2: to being the voice of my higher power in my head. Yeah, 148 00:08:15,716 --> 00:08:17,676 Speaker 2: and so I'm really working on kind of what you 149 00:08:17,716 --> 00:08:19,316 Speaker 2: just said. If it's good, just let it be good. 150 00:08:19,596 --> 00:08:22,956 Speaker 1: Let it be good. Yeah, not worrying too much. What 151 00:08:23,276 --> 00:08:25,996 Speaker 1: I mean early on? What was it early in life 152 00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:28,436 Speaker 1: that made you not feel so comfortable? 153 00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:32,236 Speaker 2: Like what I have a core memory of playing a 154 00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:37,476 Speaker 2: song to high school. All school was fucking miserable for me. Also, Yes, 155 00:08:37,556 --> 00:08:39,916 Speaker 2: by the way, so I have a theory which I'm 156 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:43,116 Speaker 2: not sure if this checks out, so like don't quote 157 00:08:43,116 --> 00:08:47,196 Speaker 2: me on it, but if you are doing great in school, 158 00:08:48,716 --> 00:08:50,556 Speaker 2: you're fuck the rest of your life. Like if you 159 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:54,956 Speaker 2: have the best time in school, you're good. If you 160 00:08:55,116 --> 00:08:58,076 Speaker 2: have a shitty time in school, you have to forever. 161 00:08:58,156 --> 00:09:01,076 Speaker 2: I feel like there's this need to prove those motherfucker's wrong. 162 00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:04,356 Speaker 2: I think a lot of our lives are like shaped 163 00:09:04,396 --> 00:09:06,676 Speaker 2: by the experiences that we have, all of it. 164 00:09:06,756 --> 00:09:08,596 Speaker 1: We think we are who we are because we're making 165 00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:11,596 Speaker 1: conscious decisions day after day, day and day out to 166 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,236 Speaker 1: be who we want to be. But you know you're right. 167 00:09:13,476 --> 00:09:16,916 Speaker 1: More often than not. It's it's based on unconsciously things 168 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:20,036 Speaker 1: that have happened and sets us on these courses that 169 00:09:20,116 --> 00:09:23,196 Speaker 1: you sometimes can't you know, whatever you can't there's no 170 00:09:23,236 --> 00:09:23,796 Speaker 1: turning back. 171 00:09:24,436 --> 00:09:26,236 Speaker 2: Well, and I have you ever had this thought? I 172 00:09:26,236 --> 00:09:32,196 Speaker 2: always think, what would my style of music, of taste 173 00:09:32,236 --> 00:09:35,636 Speaker 2: and clothing of everything, what would that have been like? 174 00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:38,916 Speaker 2: If that one Like all the men I've been in 175 00:09:38,956 --> 00:09:41,996 Speaker 2: love with, the like unrequited love where they didn't love 176 00:09:42,036 --> 00:09:45,636 Speaker 2: me back, I just so wonder if they had loved 177 00:09:45,636 --> 00:09:48,996 Speaker 2: me back, if I would have ever become the person 178 00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:53,436 Speaker 2: I was wearing the things I wore just to try 179 00:09:53,476 --> 00:09:57,596 Speaker 2: to be hot for that dude's whose name I don't remember. 180 00:09:57,836 --> 00:10:00,876 Speaker 1: Being like trapped in that that stage, Like you just 181 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:05,556 Speaker 1: would have never yeah gone past, yeah, yeah, yeah, It's 182 00:10:06,116 --> 00:10:09,316 Speaker 1: it's fair because you know, especially early in life, relationship 183 00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:14,196 Speaker 1: tend to work out to be like these these things 184 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,556 Speaker 1: that kind of prevent growth, you know. I think hopefully 185 00:10:16,556 --> 00:10:18,556 Speaker 1: as you evolve and get older and life relationships become 186 00:10:18,596 --> 00:10:21,836 Speaker 1: like you can kind of grow as individuals, you know, ideally, right, 187 00:10:21,876 --> 00:10:24,196 Speaker 1: but yeah, like you kind of like it stunts your 188 00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:26,836 Speaker 1: growth way or like early on, you know, well it. 189 00:10:26,916 --> 00:10:30,436 Speaker 2: Can stunt it or just shape it, you know. Like 190 00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:36,076 Speaker 2: my first severe love was somebody who was really into 191 00:10:37,156 --> 00:10:41,436 Speaker 2: punk music, and because of that, I started listening to 192 00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:45,196 Speaker 2: the Stooges And now I have a Stooges tattoo and 193 00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:48,116 Speaker 2: I've done a song with Iggy Pop. Like, would I 194 00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:50,196 Speaker 2: have ever done any of that if I didn't have 195 00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:52,836 Speaker 2: a crush on a guy that I knew quote liked 196 00:10:52,916 --> 00:10:56,276 Speaker 2: punk music on his MySpace profile. I don't know. 197 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,876 Speaker 1: I miss MySpace. I mean probably not, probably not. You know, 198 00:11:01,956 --> 00:11:04,596 Speaker 1: who knows, you wouldn't gotten too Iggy. But that's that's amazing. 199 00:11:04,676 --> 00:11:08,236 Speaker 1: Iggy is one of the smartest people I have ever met. 200 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,516 Speaker 1: I think he's iconic. 201 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:13,396 Speaker 2: Actually have like a like the Holy Trinity of people. 202 00:11:13,436 --> 00:11:16,036 Speaker 2: I pray too. When I get an interview question and 203 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:19,036 Speaker 2: I'm like Okay. It's either like, okay, how do I 204 00:11:19,076 --> 00:11:22,436 Speaker 2: answer this like really sincerely and kind and genuine and 205 00:11:22,476 --> 00:11:25,196 Speaker 2: speak from the heart. Then I channel Dolly Parton. If 206 00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:27,916 Speaker 2: I'm like Okay, now's the time to be a little cunt, 207 00:11:28,316 --> 00:11:31,356 Speaker 2: then I'm like okay, I channel Iggy. And then when 208 00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:34,396 Speaker 2: I'm like when you're just like above it all and 209 00:11:34,436 --> 00:11:38,276 Speaker 2: you just like are the most powerful bitch in the world, 210 00:11:39,756 --> 00:11:40,476 Speaker 2: then I'm Beyonce. 211 00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:44,796 Speaker 1: Ooh, Beyonce. I was curious who were going to pick? Yeah, Beyonce. 212 00:11:45,076 --> 00:11:47,156 Speaker 1: I mean, look, we all found little Beyonce, but like 213 00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:50,436 Speaker 1: when for you particular, we're in the journey, did you I. 214 00:11:50,316 --> 00:11:55,716 Speaker 2: Think the self titled album with the pink I think 215 00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:58,916 Speaker 2: it's just called Beyonce. Honestly, I'm not even like I 216 00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:01,196 Speaker 2: don't have like every album that I play all the time. 217 00:12:01,276 --> 00:12:05,476 Speaker 2: It was the feeling I felt when I heard the album. 218 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:08,316 Speaker 2: It's like black with her name. 219 00:12:08,196 --> 00:12:10,276 Speaker 1: In pink thirteen. Yeah. 220 00:12:10,316 --> 00:12:14,516 Speaker 2: When I first heard that album, my goal in life 221 00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:18,996 Speaker 2: was too because she started in super pop like me, 222 00:12:19,556 --> 00:12:23,876 Speaker 2: and I feel like she has fully embodied the power 223 00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:29,036 Speaker 2: of who she motherfucking is. Yeah, and I am a 224 00:12:29,076 --> 00:12:32,356 Speaker 2: no means comparing myself to Beyonce. It's just somebody that 225 00:12:32,436 --> 00:12:34,836 Speaker 2: I tried to channel when I don't know how to 226 00:12:34,876 --> 00:12:37,716 Speaker 2: respond to something. Yeah, but like I don't know, I 227 00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:41,716 Speaker 2: just always felt a little bit different. I went to 228 00:12:41,756 --> 00:12:46,036 Speaker 2: school in Nashville. I was born in the Valley and 229 00:12:46,116 --> 00:12:49,196 Speaker 2: my mom was like a single mom made music, and 230 00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:51,836 Speaker 2: we moved to Nashville, and I just remember from the 231 00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:55,116 Speaker 2: earliest stages of going to school. I went to a 232 00:12:55,156 --> 00:12:58,476 Speaker 2: Catholic school and all the boys were wearing shorts and 233 00:12:58,476 --> 00:13:00,036 Speaker 2: all the girls had to wear skirts. And I remember 234 00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:02,116 Speaker 2: getting in trouble and I got sent to like the 235 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:06,076 Speaker 2: head nuns office because I wore the boys outfit, and 236 00:13:06,156 --> 00:13:09,276 Speaker 2: just since I was at like six years old, like, 237 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,996 Speaker 2: if the boys can do it, why can't I do it? 238 00:13:12,156 --> 00:13:14,516 Speaker 2: And nobody really had an answer. I got my hands 239 00:13:14,556 --> 00:13:17,956 Speaker 2: lapped and then it sent back to class. But I 240 00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:21,116 Speaker 2: still have not gotten the answer from anyone. No one 241 00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:23,316 Speaker 2: has given me the answer. If the boys can do it, 242 00:13:23,316 --> 00:13:24,076 Speaker 2: why can't I do it? 243 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:28,956 Speaker 1: That is uh hot debate it still at the moment, 244 00:13:29,636 --> 00:13:32,196 Speaker 1: it's and it's a great question, and that's probably there's 245 00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:34,156 Speaker 1: no good answer, you know, there's no I. 246 00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:36,396 Speaker 2: Don't think there is I don't think there's a good answer. 247 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,436 Speaker 2: Like I've gone down all the rabbit holes in my mind. 248 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,276 Speaker 2: I haven't figured out the answer. But even then, I 249 00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:43,676 Speaker 2: always wondering, like why do you want to push? 250 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:44,516 Speaker 1: Yeah? 251 00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:46,396 Speaker 2: Why do you have to find a boundary and push? 252 00:13:46,636 --> 00:13:49,516 Speaker 2: But I just if it doesn't make sense to me, 253 00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:52,916 Speaker 2: I don't understand the concept of just shutting the fuck 254 00:13:53,036 --> 00:13:56,076 Speaker 2: up and like it is what it is, which is something. 255 00:13:56,196 --> 00:14:00,036 Speaker 2: Rick Reuben, who I did this record with, he said 256 00:14:00,036 --> 00:14:02,156 Speaker 2: that to me a couple of times, and it like 257 00:14:02,196 --> 00:14:04,676 Speaker 2: blew my mind. It is what it is. It's just like, 258 00:14:05,076 --> 00:14:06,916 Speaker 2: what are you gonna argue with with that? It is 259 00:14:06,956 --> 00:14:10,796 Speaker 2: what it is? He would just I would be freaking 260 00:14:10,836 --> 00:14:13,436 Speaker 2: out about something and he would just like laugh and say, 261 00:14:13,556 --> 00:14:16,956 Speaker 2: it is what it is. And I am still trying 262 00:14:16,996 --> 00:14:22,076 Speaker 2: to like reach that level of acceptance just in life. 263 00:14:22,356 --> 00:14:23,156 Speaker 2: It is what it is. 264 00:14:23,516 --> 00:14:25,516 Speaker 1: Did any of that it is what it did? Any 265 00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:29,116 Speaker 1: of that you know that Ethos did that like find 266 00:14:29,116 --> 00:14:31,996 Speaker 1: its way into your creative process throughout the making of 267 00:14:32,036 --> 00:14:32,436 Speaker 1: the record. 268 00:14:33,396 --> 00:14:37,076 Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. I'm I'm like pretty accustomed to be a 269 00:14:37,116 --> 00:14:40,836 Speaker 2: control freak as much as I can be, and with 270 00:14:41,396 --> 00:14:44,636 Speaker 2: Rick kind of just like laughing it is what it is. 271 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:48,396 Speaker 2: We didn't film the first month of recording because I 272 00:14:48,516 --> 00:14:53,756 Speaker 2: was just an emotional beyond emotional wreck, Like it was 273 00:14:53,836 --> 00:14:57,716 Speaker 2: really scary to me. He's only the second producer I've 274 00:14:57,756 --> 00:15:01,076 Speaker 2: ever done an album with, Yeah, and so I was 275 00:15:01,236 --> 00:15:05,396 Speaker 2: just so I felt so scared that he was going 276 00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:09,356 Speaker 2: to quit. And I kept just like obsessively last gkeing 277 00:15:09,396 --> 00:15:11,196 Speaker 2: him if he quits projects a lot, and if he 278 00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:14,036 Speaker 2: thinks he's going to quit my project, because I felt 279 00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:16,316 Speaker 2: so nervous that I wasn't going to be able to 280 00:15:16,356 --> 00:15:20,196 Speaker 2: deliver the goods. And he's just so patient and so kind. 281 00:15:20,596 --> 00:15:23,556 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, he's an amazing human. Yeah, he's 282 00:15:23,836 --> 00:15:26,196 Speaker 2: so great. It was such a great influence on my life, 283 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:30,196 Speaker 2: but I have kind of taken in it is what 284 00:15:30,276 --> 00:15:35,036 Speaker 2: it is. I made what I consider to be the 285 00:15:35,036 --> 00:15:38,276 Speaker 2: most proud thing I've ever made with Rick. I'm the 286 00:15:38,276 --> 00:15:40,596 Speaker 2: most proud of this of anything that I've ever made 287 00:15:40,636 --> 00:15:43,676 Speaker 2: my entire life. I think it's a masterpiece. I think 288 00:15:44,036 --> 00:15:47,556 Speaker 2: it's a classic. And if people are going to sleep 289 00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:49,516 Speaker 2: on that, that's not my problem. 290 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:52,676 Speaker 1: I hope not. It's really good. I mean the last 291 00:15:52,676 --> 00:15:55,156 Speaker 1: two records you made were great too, Like from a 292 00:15:55,876 --> 00:15:58,716 Speaker 1: listener's perspective. From the audience perspective, it seemed like even 293 00:15:58,796 --> 00:16:01,876 Speaker 1: those records were like a big growth period for you too, 294 00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:03,676 Speaker 1: like just hearing your vocal more, you know, it just 295 00:16:03,676 --> 00:16:06,196 Speaker 1: felt like, oh wow, like you're you're really like you're 296 00:16:06,236 --> 00:16:07,876 Speaker 1: seeing like this person can sing. 297 00:16:08,316 --> 00:16:11,156 Speaker 2: So I got kind of used to having auto tune 298 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,236 Speaker 2: as this crutch because I was like, no, no, no, 299 00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:16,356 Speaker 2: it's like I need my medicine, like or I'm not 300 00:16:16,356 --> 00:16:18,316 Speaker 2: going to be able to live right, like this is 301 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,596 Speaker 2: this is my life for us in my music, I 302 00:16:20,676 --> 00:16:23,156 Speaker 2: have to have the auto tune, and Rick like weaned 303 00:16:23,236 --> 00:16:26,956 Speaker 2: me off. It was like a detoxing program with Rick 304 00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:30,316 Speaker 2: with the auto tune. I swear to god, I would 305 00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:32,396 Speaker 2: cry and be like, no, please give me the auto 306 00:16:32,476 --> 00:16:35,276 Speaker 2: tune and he's like, I don't know how else to 307 00:16:35,476 --> 00:16:38,476 Speaker 2: tell you that you don't need it, And like I 308 00:16:38,756 --> 00:16:42,876 Speaker 2: still am getting used to that idea, Like it's. 309 00:16:42,756 --> 00:16:46,156 Speaker 1: Been shocking to me that you still feel like you might. 310 00:16:46,356 --> 00:16:48,276 Speaker 1: I mean, you're a great singer. 311 00:16:48,116 --> 00:16:52,716 Speaker 2: Thank you, And also like yeah, fuck yeah I am. 312 00:16:53,396 --> 00:16:55,956 Speaker 2: And it makes me sad because, like we're talking about before, 313 00:16:56,156 --> 00:16:57,996 Speaker 2: sometimes you just remember that one comment. 314 00:16:59,516 --> 00:17:02,636 Speaker 1: You know, there's comments that I think even if you 315 00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:04,476 Speaker 1: move past, I mean, they're just going to stick with you. 316 00:17:04,516 --> 00:17:07,436 Speaker 1: There's certain comments that it's just offhanded comments. People don't 317 00:17:07,436 --> 00:17:10,356 Speaker 1: even realize what they're doing, you know, say something. I've 318 00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:12,516 Speaker 1: had family members say things to me as a kid 319 00:17:12,556 --> 00:17:14,636 Speaker 1: that you know, I still I still think about it. 320 00:17:14,636 --> 00:17:16,876 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, you know I'm deficient in 321 00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:19,916 Speaker 1: this particular way because someone just said it one day randomly, 322 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,276 Speaker 1: you know, not even they don't remember it. 323 00:17:21,276 --> 00:17:25,476 Speaker 2: I'm sure you know, they probably have no recollection of it. 324 00:17:25,556 --> 00:17:29,756 Speaker 2: And those things almost help define who you become because 325 00:17:29,796 --> 00:17:33,556 Speaker 2: as people were just an amalgamation of all of our experiences, 326 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,876 Speaker 2: all the sounds we've heard, all the records we've heard, 327 00:17:36,476 --> 00:17:39,596 Speaker 2: you know, like everything's a rip off because we heard 328 00:17:39,636 --> 00:17:40,236 Speaker 2: it somewhere. 329 00:17:40,436 --> 00:17:40,716 Speaker 1: Yeah. 330 00:17:40,716 --> 00:17:43,796 Speaker 2: Like, I really think our brains are just like our dreams. 331 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:48,676 Speaker 2: Our dreams just interpolate what we've experienced. And it's the 332 00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:53,036 Speaker 2: same with making music. It's like I'm just dreaming. It's 333 00:17:53,116 --> 00:17:55,196 Speaker 2: kind of like I don't know what's coming out. It's 334 00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:57,996 Speaker 2: just a dream, but it's a mashup of something I 335 00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,156 Speaker 2: must have heard with something else I must have heard 336 00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:01,436 Speaker 2: and something else I must have heard. 337 00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:06,156 Speaker 1: Yeah, the sort of like affirmations or sort of just 338 00:18:06,196 --> 00:18:09,996 Speaker 1: like this the samples from sort of like you know, 339 00:18:10,316 --> 00:18:13,596 Speaker 1: some are spiritual leaders. As a magician in there, it's 340 00:18:13,716 --> 00:18:15,236 Speaker 1: kind of just like these great. 341 00:18:15,236 --> 00:18:17,356 Speaker 2: A wizard not a magician. 342 00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:19,396 Speaker 1: Excuse that the difference? 343 00:18:20,196 --> 00:18:23,756 Speaker 2: Oh my god, yes there's a difference a magician. I 344 00:18:23,796 --> 00:18:27,396 Speaker 2: don't actually know the technical reason they're different, but I'm 345 00:18:27,436 --> 00:18:32,236 Speaker 2: pretty sure wizards are like more powerful, well more powerful 346 00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:35,436 Speaker 2: well defense. Actually that's a good question, but we should 347 00:18:35,436 --> 00:18:37,596 Speaker 2: ask the fans, what do you think is more powerful 348 00:18:37,836 --> 00:18:41,556 Speaker 2: wizard or magician or a musician or yeah. 349 00:18:44,516 --> 00:18:47,476 Speaker 1: And you have it sampled. You have a wizard sampled 350 00:18:47,956 --> 00:18:50,956 Speaker 1: into uh, into the and like some other spiritual leaders, 351 00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:55,236 Speaker 1: and it's it. It helps frame the listening experience in 352 00:18:55,236 --> 00:18:57,676 Speaker 1: like a really beautiful way, you know, because you're dealing 353 00:18:57,756 --> 00:19:00,156 Speaker 1: with really I mean, just from the title alone, you 354 00:19:00,196 --> 00:19:01,716 Speaker 1: kind of know it's going to be an intense listen 355 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:05,516 Speaker 1: from just the type of gag order. And it proves 356 00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:06,396 Speaker 1: proves to be. 357 00:19:06,556 --> 00:19:09,036 Speaker 2: You know, it is an intense listen. And we are 358 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:12,356 Speaker 2: kind of talked about what we were going to call it. 359 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:14,596 Speaker 2: It was initially going to be called Eat the Acid. 360 00:19:14,916 --> 00:19:18,236 Speaker 2: And as much as I love that song. It's one 361 00:19:18,276 --> 00:19:20,756 Speaker 2: of my favorite songs I've ever written, Like it's a 362 00:19:20,836 --> 00:19:23,396 Speaker 2: really special song. But I was afraid that that would 363 00:19:23,476 --> 00:19:27,756 Speaker 2: maybe play into this whole party girl persona that I 364 00:19:27,796 --> 00:19:32,516 Speaker 2: have been so desperately trying to recover from because I 365 00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:39,996 Speaker 2: realized America doesn't understand irony in mass so ever since then, 366 00:19:40,036 --> 00:19:42,836 Speaker 2: I have to be really careful anytime I mentioned any 367 00:19:42,956 --> 00:19:48,836 Speaker 2: kind of substance, even if I'm joking, it's like it's 368 00:19:48,876 --> 00:19:51,716 Speaker 2: going to follow me into I'm far beyond when I'm dead, 369 00:19:51,996 --> 00:19:53,516 Speaker 2: Like that's what I'm going to be remembered for. 370 00:19:53,716 --> 00:19:56,276 Speaker 1: So I was like, I don't know, maybe, you know, 371 00:19:56,356 --> 00:19:58,596 Speaker 1: there's a lot of time to you know, if that's 372 00:19:58,716 --> 00:19:59,676 Speaker 1: not what you want. 373 00:20:00,836 --> 00:20:04,156 Speaker 2: I don't want to be remembered as the chick that 374 00:20:04,356 --> 00:20:06,396 Speaker 2: liked to party. It could be like she was really 375 00:20:06,636 --> 00:20:10,156 Speaker 2: fun when she did party and and there's all these 376 00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:12,356 Speaker 2: other facets. 377 00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:14,996 Speaker 1: To her character and you can you know, yeah, and 378 00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:16,996 Speaker 1: partying is now secondary too. 379 00:20:18,396 --> 00:20:20,956 Speaker 2: I'm fun as fuck, like sue me. 380 00:20:23,516 --> 00:20:25,156 Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and then come 381 00:20:25,196 --> 00:20:32,316 Speaker 1: back with more of my interview with Kesha. We're back 382 00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:35,956 Speaker 1: with more from Kesha. When did you write Eat the Acid? 383 00:20:36,596 --> 00:20:39,476 Speaker 2: Okay, so eat the acid. I forget the date. But 384 00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:44,476 Speaker 2: that was during lockdown, So I was upstairs. This is 385 00:20:44,556 --> 00:20:47,916 Speaker 2: my house, so I was upstairs, and I was just 386 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:52,116 Speaker 2: having like this intensive anxiety because I think when you 387 00:20:52,156 --> 00:20:56,796 Speaker 2: do what I do, you are like off to the 388 00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:59,476 Speaker 2: races and you have very little time to sleep or 389 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:03,076 Speaker 2: do much of anything else besides maintained that this thing 390 00:21:03,116 --> 00:21:05,676 Speaker 2: you fought so hard for and dedicated your life too 391 00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:11,236 Speaker 2: is sustaining life. So that happened for twelve years. So 392 00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,916 Speaker 2: lockdown was the first time I was in one place 393 00:21:14,956 --> 00:21:17,596 Speaker 2: for more than two weeks, probably in over a decade. 394 00:21:18,716 --> 00:21:23,236 Speaker 2: So everyone had a tough time, and I am I'm 395 00:21:23,356 --> 00:21:25,716 Speaker 2: very grateful and I have a lot of privilege and 396 00:21:25,756 --> 00:21:28,836 Speaker 2: I want to acknowledge that. But it was really mentally 397 00:21:30,236 --> 00:21:36,516 Speaker 2: a fucking nightmare. Is almost unbearable, just because when you 398 00:21:36,556 --> 00:21:41,636 Speaker 2: dedicate your life to something and then you have built 399 00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:48,956 Speaker 2: this whole castle around this idea of what your purpose 400 00:21:49,076 --> 00:21:52,596 Speaker 2: is and what is and then it's disintegrating in front 401 00:21:52,676 --> 00:21:54,956 Speaker 2: of you. I really felt like I was having a 402 00:21:54,996 --> 00:21:59,716 Speaker 2: psychotic break so watching these illusions kind of fall left 403 00:21:59,716 --> 00:22:03,476 Speaker 2: and right, and realizing that if I never made a 404 00:22:03,476 --> 00:22:06,636 Speaker 2: song again, if I never went on tour again. If 405 00:22:06,676 --> 00:22:11,196 Speaker 2: I just like cease to exist, I'm not sure anybody 406 00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:15,356 Speaker 2: would care, like and that freaked me out, Like people 407 00:22:15,356 --> 00:22:18,956 Speaker 2: would care, it would be like a TMZ article, but 408 00:22:19,116 --> 00:22:22,476 Speaker 2: like my family would care, my friends would care, and 409 00:22:22,556 --> 00:22:25,556 Speaker 2: I know my fans, my fans would care. But like 410 00:22:25,716 --> 00:22:28,796 Speaker 2: in large part knowing that if something happened to you 411 00:22:28,836 --> 00:22:31,836 Speaker 2: and it would become just like a news story for 412 00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:36,436 Speaker 2: twenty minutes and fade, then you start to be like, well, 413 00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:41,756 Speaker 2: what if I risked and sacrificed everything for I've missed 414 00:22:41,756 --> 00:22:46,236 Speaker 2: so many birthdays, I miss so many moments with my family, 415 00:22:46,276 --> 00:22:49,516 Speaker 2: I miss my god son being born, Like all of 416 00:22:49,556 --> 00:22:52,716 Speaker 2: these things, all of this time that I'm never going 417 00:22:52,796 --> 00:22:55,476 Speaker 2: to get back, And what did I sacrifice it for, 418 00:22:56,396 --> 00:22:59,396 Speaker 2: Like for a number one song, like who fucking cares? 419 00:23:00,276 --> 00:23:03,356 Speaker 2: So like it's going to make me emotional because it's 420 00:23:03,636 --> 00:23:06,156 Speaker 2: I'm never going to have that time back, and that 421 00:23:06,316 --> 00:23:10,716 Speaker 2: like still fucks with me. Yeah, But I then kind 422 00:23:10,716 --> 00:23:14,116 Speaker 2: of like with the help of Rick, like I refell 423 00:23:14,156 --> 00:23:17,276 Speaker 2: in love with music and like why I started loving 424 00:23:17,356 --> 00:23:18,836 Speaker 2: it in the first place, but I started making it 425 00:23:18,876 --> 00:23:21,676 Speaker 2: in the first place? Why I have to make it? 426 00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:25,316 Speaker 2: And I started feeling like it doesn't matter what anybody 427 00:23:25,356 --> 00:23:29,836 Speaker 2: else would say, You're important to yourself. So this like 428 00:23:29,996 --> 00:23:35,316 Speaker 2: falling in love with myself. Dynamic Rick really helped encourage. 429 00:23:35,476 --> 00:23:38,476 Speaker 2: And I always when people would say love yourself, it's like, yeah, 430 00:23:38,516 --> 00:23:41,396 Speaker 2: of course, love yourself, love yourself, promote love yourself, but 431 00:23:41,436 --> 00:23:46,436 Speaker 2: it felt so corny to actually practice self love and 432 00:23:46,556 --> 00:23:48,836 Speaker 2: like sit and roll my eyes at myself and then 433 00:23:49,156 --> 00:23:53,996 Speaker 2: like and then do it. And I started realizing that 434 00:23:53,996 --> 00:23:58,756 Speaker 2: that's where my passion and lust for life came back from, 435 00:23:58,996 --> 00:24:02,436 Speaker 2: is like actually giving a shit about myself. 436 00:24:02,916 --> 00:24:06,036 Speaker 1: With that renewed sense of love for yourself, I mean, 437 00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:08,076 Speaker 1: do you feel like you can kind of integrate your 438 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:11,276 Speaker 1: life and your art in your career better? 439 00:24:11,596 --> 00:24:16,356 Speaker 2: I hope. So we'll see. Like this album is so 440 00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:19,956 Speaker 2: fucking special to me. I feel like it encapsulates me 441 00:24:20,756 --> 00:24:25,636 Speaker 2: becoming who I am and like really being reborn in 442 00:24:25,676 --> 00:24:28,076 Speaker 2: a way that I never kind of knew was possible. 443 00:24:28,716 --> 00:24:32,876 Speaker 2: And to capture that audibly, to capture a process of 444 00:24:32,956 --> 00:24:37,156 Speaker 2: going through like a spiritual awakening and ego death, really 445 00:24:37,396 --> 00:24:42,276 Speaker 2: difficult mental obstacles, digging through the trash of my past 446 00:24:43,036 --> 00:24:46,196 Speaker 2: and re emerging on the other side, and to capture 447 00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:50,276 Speaker 2: that on a microphone felt so fucking scary. Yeah, when Rick, 448 00:24:50,316 --> 00:24:52,396 Speaker 2: when we started working, Rick was like, let's film it. 449 00:24:52,436 --> 00:24:54,196 Speaker 2: And I was like I just can't. I just can't. 450 00:24:54,236 --> 00:24:56,076 Speaker 2: And so at the end I got really sad and 451 00:24:56,116 --> 00:24:58,316 Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, we should have filmed this, and 452 00:24:58,356 --> 00:25:01,636 Speaker 2: he said, it is what it is, and so I 453 00:25:01,676 --> 00:25:03,276 Speaker 2: was like, you know what it does, what are you 454 00:25:03,276 --> 00:25:03,556 Speaker 2: going to do? 455 00:25:03,716 --> 00:25:06,316 Speaker 1: It is what it is. Making a record is documenting something. 456 00:25:06,316 --> 00:25:09,116 Speaker 1: But and it sounds like this record didn't just die 457 00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:11,876 Speaker 1: document a particular phase of your life, like it documented 458 00:25:11,916 --> 00:25:16,436 Speaker 1: like a particularly like impactful phase in your life. Like 459 00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:20,236 Speaker 1: the MIC's were rolling at the right time to get they're. 460 00:25:20,076 --> 00:25:25,516 Speaker 2: Rolling at the most vulnerable times. Like there are moments 461 00:25:25,556 --> 00:25:27,476 Speaker 2: on the record that are hard for me to listen 462 00:25:27,516 --> 00:25:31,116 Speaker 2: to if I'm not in the right headspace living in 463 00:25:31,116 --> 00:25:34,796 Speaker 2: my head. It was really really hard to make. But 464 00:25:34,836 --> 00:25:37,316 Speaker 2: that was Rick's like favorite song. 465 00:25:37,516 --> 00:25:39,876 Speaker 1: What in particular in that is hard for you to 466 00:25:39,876 --> 00:25:41,556 Speaker 1: hear or made it hard to make. 467 00:25:41,876 --> 00:25:48,836 Speaker 2: Just listening to this ideation of nonexistence and talking about 468 00:25:48,836 --> 00:25:52,476 Speaker 2: my insecurities and how it you know, I don't think 469 00:25:52,476 --> 00:25:56,516 Speaker 2: it's just in music, but it's very prevalent in entertainment, 470 00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:59,196 Speaker 2: but I think it's kind of everywhere. As a woman, 471 00:25:59,276 --> 00:26:01,956 Speaker 2: I feel like there's a lot of need to compare yourself, 472 00:26:02,716 --> 00:26:05,916 Speaker 2: and I talk about that in the song. I talk 473 00:26:05,996 --> 00:26:08,556 Speaker 2: about how lonely I feel inside of my head and 474 00:26:08,556 --> 00:26:10,956 Speaker 2: how sometimes I just want someone to hold my hand 475 00:26:10,996 --> 00:26:15,876 Speaker 2: while I walk through it in there, And you know 476 00:26:15,956 --> 00:26:18,356 Speaker 2: he's not paying me to say this, so but like 477 00:26:18,516 --> 00:26:20,516 Speaker 2: Rick was the one that, like I said, like, Okay, 478 00:26:20,556 --> 00:26:22,796 Speaker 2: I'm gonna hold your handle. We walked through this together. 479 00:26:23,876 --> 00:26:24,076 Speaker 1: Yeah. 480 00:26:24,436 --> 00:26:27,836 Speaker 2: So it's a beautiful thing, and I have no idea 481 00:26:27,876 --> 00:26:30,036 Speaker 2: if people are gonna like it or listen to I 482 00:26:30,076 --> 00:26:33,316 Speaker 2: have no fucking idea. I hope they do, because I 483 00:26:33,396 --> 00:26:35,876 Speaker 2: think it will help certain people that relate to what 484 00:26:35,916 --> 00:26:39,356 Speaker 2: I'm saying. But in terms of like chart numbers and 485 00:26:39,956 --> 00:26:42,956 Speaker 2: wanting to be the dick swinging motherfucker that walks into 486 00:26:42,996 --> 00:26:45,676 Speaker 2: the room, I think I'm just too old for that. Anyways, Sadly, 487 00:26:46,676 --> 00:26:47,156 Speaker 2: I don't know. 488 00:26:47,636 --> 00:26:50,356 Speaker 1: Come on, look at look at Mix still walking around 489 00:26:50,956 --> 00:26:51,676 Speaker 1: with his dick swing. 490 00:26:52,716 --> 00:26:55,236 Speaker 2: Okay, fine, maybe I'm want to start walking around with 491 00:26:55,276 --> 00:26:58,716 Speaker 2: my dick swinging. As long as I ever start getting 492 00:26:58,796 --> 00:27:01,796 Speaker 2: out of hand, somebody shoot. 493 00:27:01,596 --> 00:27:08,556 Speaker 1: At tell me about the like the from like sort 494 00:27:08,636 --> 00:27:12,236 Speaker 1: of the creation story of this record from like how 495 00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:14,796 Speaker 1: did it come together? Like what did you bring to 496 00:27:14,916 --> 00:27:16,756 Speaker 1: Rick that first day you met Rick? 497 00:27:16,996 --> 00:27:18,916 Speaker 2: The first day I met Rick, I played him a 498 00:27:18,956 --> 00:27:23,316 Speaker 2: bunch of demos that were like not very good. I 499 00:27:23,356 --> 00:27:24,636 Speaker 2: will forever remember him. 500 00:27:25,236 --> 00:27:28,796 Speaker 3: Where Rick, you told me to play you everything and 501 00:27:28,836 --> 00:27:32,636 Speaker 3: I was like, now the song is not I don't 502 00:27:32,716 --> 00:27:35,276 Speaker 3: like the song. He told me to play you everything, 503 00:27:36,036 --> 00:27:38,876 Speaker 3: and then I played the song in about thirty seconds 504 00:27:38,876 --> 00:27:44,076 Speaker 3: and he just started like crying, laughing, and I was like, Okay, 505 00:27:44,276 --> 00:27:47,036 Speaker 3: that was the nicest way anyone ever told me that 506 00:27:47,076 --> 00:27:48,116 Speaker 3: they hate my song. 507 00:27:49,316 --> 00:27:52,516 Speaker 2: I was like, all right, that's really embarrassing. Next song 508 00:27:52,956 --> 00:27:56,316 Speaker 2: it said. They were not good songs. But we talked 509 00:27:56,356 --> 00:27:59,196 Speaker 2: a lot about spirituality through the process of this album, 510 00:27:59,476 --> 00:28:02,556 Speaker 2: and he knew that I'm a seeker and kind of 511 00:28:02,596 --> 00:28:06,316 Speaker 2: on the journey to I don't know, just be in 512 00:28:06,356 --> 00:28:10,316 Speaker 2: touch with high power of some sort. And that's what 513 00:28:10,316 --> 00:28:11,556 Speaker 2: we ended up really bonding over. 514 00:28:12,396 --> 00:28:14,436 Speaker 1: Did anything from that first batch of demos you played 515 00:28:14,516 --> 00:28:17,196 Speaker 1: him make the record, like any facet of those songs 516 00:28:17,276 --> 00:28:17,836 Speaker 1: or any. 517 00:28:18,116 --> 00:28:22,636 Speaker 2: One one did hate me harder? Oh, I like it, 518 00:28:22,716 --> 00:28:27,316 Speaker 2: hate me harder. But but the song leaked. The original 519 00:28:27,356 --> 00:28:30,636 Speaker 2: demo leaked like a couple of years ago, and I 520 00:28:30,676 --> 00:28:33,556 Speaker 2: was disappointed because I was like, that's not the incarnation 521 00:28:33,676 --> 00:28:36,596 Speaker 2: I wanted people to hear. But he took this like 522 00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:41,836 Speaker 2: very poppy, kind of happy sounding anthem song and turned 523 00:28:41,876 --> 00:28:50,436 Speaker 2: it into this really powerful ballad, strong defiant thing. So 524 00:28:50,476 --> 00:28:52,636 Speaker 2: he made it a whole different animal. One of the 525 00:28:52,676 --> 00:28:55,396 Speaker 2: many geniuses of him, he said, he's like the song 526 00:28:55,596 --> 00:28:58,076 Speaker 2: like you put different clothes on it, different genres. We 527 00:28:58,116 --> 00:29:00,196 Speaker 2: would try one song and make a ballad, and then 528 00:29:00,196 --> 00:29:02,116 Speaker 2: we would make at a disco song, just see much 529 00:29:02,156 --> 00:29:02,716 Speaker 2: one we'd like to do. 530 00:29:03,196 --> 00:29:06,116 Speaker 1: Did you ever settle on a particular feel for a 531 00:29:06,196 --> 00:29:10,076 Speaker 1: song in that process that you were maybe you wouldn't 532 00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:12,196 Speaker 1: like like you was ever an instance we're like, oh, 533 00:29:12,396 --> 00:29:15,036 Speaker 1: we'll try this song kind of like a gospel song, 534 00:29:15,116 --> 00:29:17,316 Speaker 1: but I don't know that's really gonna work, but you 535 00:29:17,316 --> 00:29:17,916 Speaker 1: were convinced. 536 00:29:18,156 --> 00:29:21,076 Speaker 2: I honestly, I just kind of like when you're in 537 00:29:21,116 --> 00:29:24,756 Speaker 2: the presence of a master, I think a really important 538 00:29:24,876 --> 00:29:27,116 Speaker 2: tool is knowing what you're good at and also knowing 539 00:29:27,116 --> 00:29:32,156 Speaker 2: what you're not good at, and surrounding yourself with people 540 00:29:32,316 --> 00:29:34,076 Speaker 2: that are good at the things you know you're not 541 00:29:34,156 --> 00:29:39,956 Speaker 2: good at so having like this like beautiful experience and 542 00:29:41,276 --> 00:29:43,156 Speaker 2: getting to be sit in the same room with Rick, 543 00:29:43,316 --> 00:29:46,196 Speaker 2: I was just like, honestly, I'm down to try whatever, 544 00:29:46,316 --> 00:29:49,236 Speaker 2: like I was game, which I think hopefully. I mean, 545 00:29:49,436 --> 00:29:51,356 Speaker 2: I'll speak for him, but I think it was fun 546 00:29:51,396 --> 00:29:53,436 Speaker 2: for him too, because I was like, sure, let's try. 547 00:29:54,236 --> 00:29:58,716 Speaker 2: Let's try dropping it like twenty bpm, drop the key, 548 00:29:59,116 --> 00:30:03,116 Speaker 2: slow it down, change the chords, like I was here 549 00:30:03,156 --> 00:30:04,156 Speaker 2: for the whole experience. 550 00:30:04,316 --> 00:30:08,276 Speaker 1: That's great. Hate me harder was an idea, so you 551 00:30:08,396 --> 00:30:10,756 Speaker 1: kind of have that, but I mean, you're kind of 552 00:30:10,756 --> 00:30:14,036 Speaker 1: also started from scratch, so what was it was scratch? 553 00:30:14,156 --> 00:30:16,436 Speaker 2: And then it was at the end of a song 554 00:30:16,956 --> 00:30:19,156 Speaker 2: he heard me starting to sing living in my head 555 00:30:19,196 --> 00:30:22,076 Speaker 2: because I was at the session and I had a 556 00:30:22,116 --> 00:30:27,476 Speaker 2: lot personally going on that day, just with another department 557 00:30:27,516 --> 00:30:31,196 Speaker 2: of my life, and I started just having an anxiety 558 00:30:31,276 --> 00:30:34,636 Speaker 2: attack thinking about the phone call. I was just gonn me, 559 00:30:35,316 --> 00:30:37,116 Speaker 2: so I was leeing. I just kind of mumbled into 560 00:30:37,116 --> 00:30:39,476 Speaker 2: a mic like this like I don't want to be 561 00:30:39,556 --> 00:30:43,076 Speaker 2: here anymore. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm 562 00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:46,156 Speaker 2: so fucking insecure. So we listened to the whole song 563 00:30:46,196 --> 00:30:48,876 Speaker 2: and that little tiny part of the end ended up 564 00:30:48,876 --> 00:30:51,036 Speaker 2: being living in my head and he was like that 565 00:30:51,036 --> 00:30:53,716 Speaker 2: that's real. I want to start with that. So there 566 00:30:53,716 --> 00:30:57,396 Speaker 2: were like little tiny pieces, I guess thinking back but 567 00:30:57,516 --> 00:31:00,076 Speaker 2: hate me hard. It was the only song in its entirety, 568 00:31:01,236 --> 00:31:04,276 Speaker 2: but Eat the Acid. I don't think I ever even 569 00:31:04,756 --> 00:31:09,836 Speaker 2: played actually don't remember. Potentially no back. He may have 570 00:31:09,876 --> 00:31:13,036 Speaker 2: heard Ethi Acid, but it was so different, but he 571 00:31:13,236 --> 00:31:16,356 Speaker 2: just took everything off of everything, like the production all 572 00:31:16,396 --> 00:31:19,556 Speaker 2: went away and it was rebuilt. Yeah, but Ethie Acid 573 00:31:19,636 --> 00:31:22,516 Speaker 2: was kind of like the foundation of the album. That 574 00:31:22,636 --> 00:31:25,276 Speaker 2: was when I was sitting upstairs having this like what 575 00:31:25,476 --> 00:31:28,596 Speaker 2: I perceived to be a psychotic break but turned out, 576 00:31:28,916 --> 00:31:32,436 Speaker 2: according to my therapist to be a spiritual awakening. So 577 00:31:32,556 --> 00:31:34,516 Speaker 2: that was the song I wrote the next day after that. 578 00:31:34,916 --> 00:31:36,836 Speaker 1: I guess to go back to the story you're telling 579 00:31:36,876 --> 00:31:39,196 Speaker 1: you sort of in this dark period start of the 580 00:31:39,236 --> 00:31:42,836 Speaker 1: first couple of weeks of lockdown, and you feel like 581 00:31:42,836 --> 00:31:45,316 Speaker 1: you have a psychotic break in that that same sort 582 00:31:45,316 --> 00:31:47,236 Speaker 1: of instance, you talked to your therapist. 583 00:31:47,636 --> 00:31:48,996 Speaker 2: Oh, I talked to her the next day. 584 00:31:49,356 --> 00:31:49,836 Speaker 1: The next time. 585 00:31:50,556 --> 00:31:56,436 Speaker 2: I was like, I was like genuinely was like, Okay, 586 00:31:56,876 --> 00:31:58,836 Speaker 2: it happened now what do I do? 587 00:31:59,516 --> 00:32:00,756 Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was like. 588 00:32:00,756 --> 00:32:02,756 Speaker 2: The first week I would say it's the first weeks, 589 00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:06,236 Speaker 2: maybe first months were the most intense of lockdown. I 590 00:32:06,236 --> 00:32:10,036 Speaker 2: don't remember the exact day, like it was somewhere between 591 00:32:10,036 --> 00:32:14,196 Speaker 2: March Tune somewhere somewhere in those months is when that happened. 592 00:32:15,076 --> 00:32:18,516 Speaker 2: So this experience happened. I felt like I had a 593 00:32:18,556 --> 00:32:22,116 Speaker 2: conversation with God, who is really funny. 594 00:32:22,196 --> 00:32:25,476 Speaker 1: Turns out it's good to know. I'm so happy to 595 00:32:25,516 --> 00:32:25,796 Speaker 1: hear that. 596 00:32:26,476 --> 00:32:29,196 Speaker 2: Thank God, like great sense of humor. 597 00:32:29,436 --> 00:32:31,116 Speaker 1: Thank God, that's that fool. 598 00:32:31,716 --> 00:32:37,316 Speaker 2: And I was so scary that I just like woke 599 00:32:37,396 --> 00:32:39,276 Speaker 2: up the next day and got like I was like 600 00:32:39,396 --> 00:32:42,156 Speaker 2: genuinely scared. I can laugh about it now because I've 601 00:32:42,196 --> 00:32:44,636 Speaker 2: had some distance, but Jesus Christ, So I was so scared. 602 00:32:45,076 --> 00:32:47,316 Speaker 2: And then after she told me that she's like just 603 00:32:47,396 --> 00:32:49,196 Speaker 2: lean into it, it was all very casual. 604 00:32:49,276 --> 00:32:50,196 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay. 605 00:32:50,676 --> 00:32:53,596 Speaker 2: So then I got on a zoom with my mom 606 00:32:53,956 --> 00:32:56,356 Speaker 2: and Stuart Crichton, and I was like, we have to 607 00:32:56,396 --> 00:32:58,676 Speaker 2: write a song about how I thought I was saying 608 00:32:58,716 --> 00:33:04,796 Speaker 2: my mind. But I think I saw allusion of what 609 00:33:05,196 --> 00:33:09,436 Speaker 2: is fall and I realized what love is and the 610 00:33:09,476 --> 00:33:14,156 Speaker 2: only thing that can save us as society is love. 611 00:33:14,836 --> 00:33:17,316 Speaker 2: And there were all these like see what the album 612 00:33:17,396 --> 00:33:20,356 Speaker 2: is gonna be. But it had to start with eth 613 00:33:20,516 --> 00:33:22,916 Speaker 2: acid because my mom told me when I was young 614 00:33:23,556 --> 00:33:28,836 Speaker 2: to never take acid. So to this day, I've never 615 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,356 Speaker 2: taken as you've never taken acid. 616 00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:34,036 Speaker 1: No, I've never taken acid. I'm terrified of it me too. 617 00:33:34,276 --> 00:33:38,116 Speaker 1: Why are you ah, because I have I have mental 618 00:33:38,236 --> 00:33:41,236 Speaker 1: mental in my family. I'm just scaring I'm going to 619 00:33:41,316 --> 00:33:44,036 Speaker 1: turn out like you know, have like a break, you know, 620 00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:48,876 Speaker 1: mushrooms other things fine, but also too long, too long. 621 00:33:48,916 --> 00:33:51,836 Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, it's five six seven hours of 622 00:33:51,876 --> 00:33:52,236 Speaker 1: my time. 623 00:33:52,636 --> 00:33:54,796 Speaker 2: I think we would really get along like off camera 624 00:33:54,796 --> 00:33:56,876 Speaker 2: as well, honestly, because I'm right there with you. 625 00:33:57,076 --> 00:33:59,156 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, you know, I could you know, noon 626 00:33:59,796 --> 00:34:01,716 Speaker 1: cool and then I can have dinner and be like 627 00:34:02,076 --> 00:34:03,316 Speaker 1: good to go great. 628 00:34:03,116 --> 00:34:06,076 Speaker 2: You know, and get like sleep. Yeah, I don't get 629 00:34:06,516 --> 00:34:10,716 Speaker 2: I like the idea of getting just like like feeling 630 00:34:10,716 --> 00:34:12,676 Speaker 2: a little naughty, like have a glass of wine and 631 00:34:12,796 --> 00:34:16,836 Speaker 2: I'm like okay, I like I like keeping the anchor 632 00:34:17,036 --> 00:34:18,876 Speaker 2: of stability. 633 00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:22,756 Speaker 1: Because I have to, and that's the control. Yeah, probably 634 00:34:22,756 --> 00:34:23,156 Speaker 1: part of. 635 00:34:23,356 --> 00:34:28,836 Speaker 2: Right, totally. I think I cling very very aggressively to 636 00:34:28,916 --> 00:34:31,036 Speaker 2: what I can, which I'm currently in the process of 637 00:34:31,076 --> 00:34:35,916 Speaker 2: trying to loosen the grip because we're not really in 638 00:34:35,996 --> 00:34:40,516 Speaker 2: control of much. Actually, no, that's another illusion. That's another 639 00:34:40,556 --> 00:34:41,756 Speaker 2: illusion I'm trying to get rid of. 640 00:34:42,876 --> 00:34:44,916 Speaker 1: We have to pause for another quick break, and then 641 00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:51,996 Speaker 1: we'll be back with more from Kesha. We're back with 642 00:34:52,036 --> 00:34:54,916 Speaker 1: the rest of my interview with Kasha, and I love 643 00:34:54,956 --> 00:34:57,716 Speaker 1: the outroas I actually wanted to ask you about that. 644 00:34:58,036 --> 00:34:59,436 Speaker 1: In the next life, I want to come back as 645 00:34:59,476 --> 00:35:02,876 Speaker 1: a house cat like that melody. Did it come from something? 646 00:35:03,636 --> 00:35:05,316 Speaker 2: It did? But I want to know what the melody 647 00:35:05,356 --> 00:35:06,396 Speaker 2: reminds you of. First. 648 00:35:07,516 --> 00:35:09,556 Speaker 1: I don't it reminds me one of those like real 649 00:35:09,716 --> 00:35:13,316 Speaker 1: like fifties songs, you know, like Earth Angel or something. 650 00:35:13,316 --> 00:35:14,796 Speaker 1: I don't know why, Like it reminds me of like 651 00:35:14,836 --> 00:35:19,436 Speaker 1: a do Woppy early R and B always been in existence, 652 00:35:19,676 --> 00:35:20,676 Speaker 1: one of those songs, you know. 653 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:24,516 Speaker 2: Oh cute. I love that. It's totally not what the 654 00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:27,236 Speaker 2: inspiration was. Do you want to know what it is? 655 00:35:27,436 --> 00:35:27,596 Speaker 1: Yeah? 656 00:35:27,716 --> 00:35:30,276 Speaker 2: Or should I just let you live with your fantasy of. 657 00:35:30,316 --> 00:35:32,676 Speaker 1: Part I'll revert back to my mind. Okay, I see, 658 00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:33,276 Speaker 1: But I do want to. 659 00:35:33,276 --> 00:35:36,796 Speaker 2: Know so the end, So the drama. I wanted to 660 00:35:37,636 --> 00:35:41,476 Speaker 2: have one song that is kind of poking fun at 661 00:35:41,596 --> 00:35:47,156 Speaker 2: the fact that, like, we as humans love drama. I 662 00:35:47,196 --> 00:35:49,516 Speaker 2: think it is. I don't know if it's the culture. 663 00:35:49,636 --> 00:35:51,836 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just part of being a human, 664 00:35:52,396 --> 00:35:55,916 Speaker 2: or maybe it's just me, but people fucking love drama. 665 00:35:55,956 --> 00:35:58,996 Speaker 2: They love bad news, click bait, like everybody loves it 666 00:35:59,036 --> 00:36:02,156 Speaker 2: in their own vein. Like I think about sports teams, 667 00:36:02,236 --> 00:36:03,796 Speaker 2: is that just so you can have a team and 668 00:36:03,796 --> 00:36:06,436 Speaker 2: then fight each other, and then there's drama like the 669 00:36:06,476 --> 00:36:11,356 Speaker 2: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills drama. Politics, to a large part, 670 00:36:11,556 --> 00:36:17,996 Speaker 2: sadly now becoming more about drama. I don't think that's right. 671 00:36:18,716 --> 00:36:21,676 Speaker 2: I think politics should be about politics. But so I 672 00:36:21,716 --> 00:36:26,756 Speaker 2: wanted to kind of compile a song that sounded like 673 00:36:26,956 --> 00:36:32,916 Speaker 2: the psychosis of what the world and what like scrolling 674 00:36:32,956 --> 00:36:40,236 Speaker 2: through TikTok feels like to me, it feels genuinely so 675 00:36:40,476 --> 00:36:46,156 Speaker 2: deranged sometimes where you're like he he, I'm dancing, Oh 676 00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:53,196 Speaker 2: my God, like that constant flow of noise and chaos. 677 00:36:53,516 --> 00:36:56,876 Speaker 2: I wanted this song to be about that, and then 678 00:36:56,956 --> 00:36:59,796 Speaker 2: the outro I wanted it have you ever been to 679 00:36:59,876 --> 00:37:04,876 Speaker 2: Disney land. Okay, So the Housecat, which I wrote with 680 00:37:04,996 --> 00:37:09,236 Speaker 2: Kurt Vile, is for me supposed to sound like and 681 00:37:09,236 --> 00:37:12,316 Speaker 2: you're going on the water ride, the one you're in, 682 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:15,076 Speaker 2: like the log ride. I don't know what it's called. 683 00:37:15,476 --> 00:37:17,636 Speaker 2: So you're going up and you're passing all these like 684 00:37:17,676 --> 00:37:20,916 Speaker 2: really cute little characters, and there's like a wolf and 685 00:37:20,956 --> 00:37:23,556 Speaker 2: it's a wolf's singing in the corner and he has 686 00:37:23,596 --> 00:37:26,876 Speaker 2: a cauldron foot a bunch of bunnies and it's so cute, 687 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:30,236 Speaker 2: but it's actually really fucked up, like there's a wolf 688 00:37:30,556 --> 00:37:35,796 Speaker 2: boiling bunnies alive and echoing while you're going. You're going 689 00:37:35,876 --> 00:37:37,876 Speaker 2: up the hill and there's these songs going and they 690 00:37:37,876 --> 00:37:39,956 Speaker 2: start getting faster and then they goes a're getting fat. 691 00:37:40,036 --> 00:37:42,436 Speaker 2: He starts hearing the screams of children. 692 00:37:43,036 --> 00:37:45,356 Speaker 1: And I wanted to end of the song something like that, 693 00:37:45,756 --> 00:37:51,436 Speaker 1: like the screaming of children. No, like the not the ride. Okay, 694 00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:52,276 Speaker 1: I got you on. 695 00:37:52,156 --> 00:37:58,276 Speaker 2: The whole, like the experience of the deranged moment of 696 00:37:58,596 --> 00:38:01,676 Speaker 2: the water ride at Disney when you haven't yet reached 697 00:38:01,796 --> 00:38:04,916 Speaker 2: the top but you're about to free fall. 698 00:38:05,156 --> 00:38:08,356 Speaker 1: I love that. Yep, Why am I? I love them? 699 00:38:08,356 --> 00:38:12,596 Speaker 1: Attractor on this modeled after the deranged experience of scrolling 700 00:38:12,636 --> 00:38:16,996 Speaker 1: TikTok and and you know, the bizarre world of fairy 701 00:38:17,036 --> 00:38:23,156 Speaker 1: tales screaming children. It's such a good song though, thank you. Yeah. 702 00:38:23,196 --> 00:38:25,676 Speaker 1: And there's a couple of there's a couple of moments 703 00:38:25,716 --> 00:38:28,636 Speaker 1: too of them, because I mean, you know, as you said, 704 00:38:28,676 --> 00:38:30,516 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, obviously it's like a heavy listen, 705 00:38:30,556 --> 00:38:33,996 Speaker 1: but it's a couple of songs that are like really 706 00:38:34,076 --> 00:38:39,156 Speaker 1: nice reprieves from kind of like those more tense moments 707 00:38:39,276 --> 00:38:42,116 Speaker 1: about halfway through while I need is you yeah, and 708 00:38:42,156 --> 00:38:44,716 Speaker 1: then and then happy at the end. I mean, it's 709 00:38:44,756 --> 00:38:46,436 Speaker 1: just a great closer. 710 00:38:46,716 --> 00:38:47,196 Speaker 2: Thank you. 711 00:38:47,316 --> 00:38:49,476 Speaker 1: It's a beautiful song, Thank you. 712 00:38:49,596 --> 00:38:56,196 Speaker 2: I really have such protective feeling, you know, I don't 713 00:38:56,196 --> 00:38:59,396 Speaker 2: have kids that are human. I have animals, So it's 714 00:38:59,436 --> 00:39:02,596 Speaker 2: like the only thing I can compare it to. That's 715 00:39:02,636 --> 00:39:05,436 Speaker 2: how I feel protective, or of like what I'm hanging 716 00:39:05,436 --> 00:39:08,796 Speaker 2: out with my brother's kids, Like that's how I feel 717 00:39:08,836 --> 00:39:13,596 Speaker 2: about that song. Yeah, I feel very like maternally protective 718 00:39:13,636 --> 00:39:17,156 Speaker 2: over that because I know that once you've spent your 719 00:39:17,276 --> 00:39:22,276 Speaker 2: life chasing all the things I've chased and accomplishing a 720 00:39:22,316 --> 00:39:26,116 Speaker 2: lot of them, failing miserably and embarrassingly in front of 721 00:39:26,316 --> 00:39:30,076 Speaker 2: a lot of people, over and over and over, buying 722 00:39:30,196 --> 00:39:33,996 Speaker 2: nice houses, going on the vacations, having the hit songs, 723 00:39:34,076 --> 00:39:38,676 Speaker 2: having the not hit songs, the glory and the humiliation. 724 00:39:39,556 --> 00:39:43,796 Speaker 2: After I had this experience I told you about, I 725 00:39:43,876 --> 00:39:47,756 Speaker 2: walked out of this album realizing that now that I've 726 00:39:48,356 --> 00:39:52,196 Speaker 2: trudged through the not only sad, it's not only sad. 727 00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:57,236 Speaker 2: It's just a really contemplative album. And there's moments of fun. 728 00:39:57,276 --> 00:40:00,076 Speaker 2: There's moments of joy, there's moments of anger. There's moments 729 00:40:00,156 --> 00:40:04,876 Speaker 2: of surprise totally, there's moments of what were you surprised 730 00:40:04,876 --> 00:40:05,916 Speaker 2: about them? 731 00:40:05,956 --> 00:40:09,796 Speaker 1: Just certain changes in song, like really honest, there's certain 732 00:40:09,876 --> 00:40:12,756 Speaker 1: changes in song, the brief interludes, like all of a sudden, 733 00:40:13,636 --> 00:40:16,916 Speaker 1: ram Das is in my ear. You know, it's like, oh, 734 00:40:17,036 --> 00:40:21,956 Speaker 1: you know, it just took me to places I wasn't expecting. Yeah. 735 00:40:22,076 --> 00:40:26,636 Speaker 2: I always wonder if, like if people are bummed when 736 00:40:26,676 --> 00:40:32,156 Speaker 2: an artist flips the sonic script on them, because at 737 00:40:32,156 --> 00:40:36,916 Speaker 2: a point you become something that people go to for escapism. 738 00:40:36,996 --> 00:40:39,876 Speaker 2: For me, I feel like a lot of people have 739 00:40:39,956 --> 00:40:43,116 Speaker 2: previously come to me for escapism, which I think is 740 00:40:43,156 --> 00:40:48,796 Speaker 2: an incredibly important thing for humans, but so putting out 741 00:40:48,796 --> 00:40:51,996 Speaker 2: this record, I'm I'm just curious if people like when 742 00:40:52,076 --> 00:40:54,956 Speaker 2: artists do really drastically different stuff. 743 00:40:55,676 --> 00:40:57,516 Speaker 1: It's hard to say that, you know, Like, I'm sure 744 00:40:57,636 --> 00:41:02,316 Speaker 1: you have like super fans from the very beginning, and 745 00:41:02,356 --> 00:41:07,516 Speaker 1: they probably want just that same formula. But I do 746 00:41:07,596 --> 00:41:10,116 Speaker 1: think that even if you gave that fan the same 747 00:41:10,156 --> 00:41:13,756 Speaker 1: thing over and over, they say they want it, but 748 00:41:13,796 --> 00:41:18,396 Speaker 1: they'd probably become bored of it and then they use you. 749 00:41:18,396 --> 00:41:21,076 Speaker 1: You know. It's like you can't win with some people, right. 750 00:41:21,516 --> 00:41:25,196 Speaker 2: Well, I think my like actually surprisingly my super right 751 00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:30,396 Speaker 2: or Die fans, my animals, they're so here for the evolution. 752 00:41:30,676 --> 00:41:34,796 Speaker 2: It's more I think people that maybe have heard a 753 00:41:34,836 --> 00:41:37,956 Speaker 2: song or two of mine, only saw a picture or 754 00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:40,276 Speaker 2: two of me and a video or two, and then 755 00:41:40,316 --> 00:41:43,236 Speaker 2: they're like, the fuck are you doing? Like I kind 756 00:41:43,236 --> 00:41:45,916 Speaker 2: of felt like I had to work through the right 757 00:41:46,036 --> 00:41:48,196 Speaker 2: to make an album like this, But then that's when 758 00:41:48,196 --> 00:41:51,916 Speaker 2: I would channel Beyonce. Yeah, thinking about that album I 759 00:41:51,956 --> 00:41:53,836 Speaker 2: told you about, and I was like, she just like 760 00:41:54,276 --> 00:41:58,676 Speaker 2: made it a piece of amazing art that encapsulates who 761 00:41:58,716 --> 00:42:02,356 Speaker 2: she is. I feel and hear who this woman is. 762 00:42:03,596 --> 00:42:06,036 Speaker 1: I want to do that well, This album's like kind 763 00:42:06,036 --> 00:42:08,796 Speaker 1: of locked me in to Kesha, you know, like I'm 764 00:42:09,196 --> 00:42:09,636 Speaker 1: that like. 765 00:42:09,916 --> 00:42:10,836 Speaker 2: Have you been converted? 766 00:42:11,276 --> 00:42:17,996 Speaker 1: I'm nearly animal, I'm nearly you know, you know I 767 00:42:18,076 --> 00:42:19,796 Speaker 1: might end up there. I would say I was a 768 00:42:19,876 --> 00:42:22,036 Speaker 1: casual listener before and like, but this album is like 769 00:42:22,116 --> 00:42:24,596 Speaker 1: one of those ones that I think if you really 770 00:42:24,836 --> 00:42:28,596 Speaker 1: like music, warrants like a couple of like deep listens. 771 00:42:28,676 --> 00:42:34,036 Speaker 1: You know. It's it's sequenced, beautifully produced beautifully, it's written beautifully. 772 00:42:34,156 --> 00:42:37,636 Speaker 1: You sound great on it. You know. It's like bits 773 00:42:37,636 --> 00:42:39,956 Speaker 1: and pieces of things that I think have come out 774 00:42:39,996 --> 00:42:42,516 Speaker 1: on other albums, and it's like it's like all of 775 00:42:42,556 --> 00:42:46,676 Speaker 1: it finally, all those things that were great in these 776 00:42:46,676 --> 00:42:48,396 Speaker 1: little moments, and it's like, oh, it's now, this is 777 00:42:48,436 --> 00:42:51,036 Speaker 1: all this is the complete thing, this is It's all there. 778 00:42:51,156 --> 00:42:53,956 Speaker 1: You know that that was my experience listening. 779 00:42:54,356 --> 00:42:56,156 Speaker 2: Thank you. I'm going to just accept. I'm going to 780 00:42:56,196 --> 00:42:58,436 Speaker 2: take in the good because I love it. I worked 781 00:42:58,476 --> 00:43:01,476 Speaker 2: really fucking hard on this and I know Rick did too, 782 00:43:01,556 --> 00:43:03,676 Speaker 2: and yeah, so I'm going to take in the good. 783 00:43:03,556 --> 00:43:04,836 Speaker 1: And I know he loves the record too. 784 00:43:05,156 --> 00:43:07,636 Speaker 2: Wait, I want to finish one sentence because I go 785 00:43:07,676 --> 00:43:10,076 Speaker 2: on tangents that I didn't finish, and then my manager's 786 00:43:10,076 --> 00:43:13,636 Speaker 2: going like, yes, what I can carry on for a second, 787 00:43:13,676 --> 00:43:15,236 Speaker 2: but my cat has to go to the set. 788 00:43:15,876 --> 00:43:16,556 Speaker 1: That's important. 789 00:43:16,596 --> 00:43:18,156 Speaker 2: I wrote, All I need is you about him? 790 00:43:19,236 --> 00:43:21,596 Speaker 1: Really? So yeah, wow, it's beautiful. 791 00:43:21,636 --> 00:43:23,876 Speaker 2: I have a necklace with his little name on it. 792 00:43:24,036 --> 00:43:30,196 Speaker 1: What's his name, mister peeps, mister peeps? I love it. 793 00:43:31,356 --> 00:43:37,796 Speaker 1: What a cat you know is miss Okay? 794 00:43:37,876 --> 00:43:42,156 Speaker 2: Yes, let me say by do him hold over? Okay? Sorry? 795 00:43:42,556 --> 00:43:49,236 Speaker 1: Tell me that you'll live forever mister peeps. 796 00:43:49,956 --> 00:43:54,276 Speaker 2: Oh. I think that I had to channel the most sincere, 797 00:43:54,396 --> 00:43:57,116 Speaker 2: pure love I could think of. And Rick was like, 798 00:43:57,156 --> 00:44:00,516 Speaker 2: write it about the love you have for yourself and 799 00:44:00,556 --> 00:44:04,196 Speaker 2: I was like, honey, we're not there yet. 800 00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:06,036 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but. 801 00:44:07,756 --> 00:44:10,196 Speaker 2: We're going to start with mister peeps. 802 00:44:10,396 --> 00:44:12,876 Speaker 1: That's like when I do my loving Kindness meditations and 803 00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:15,076 Speaker 1: that you know, they ask you to think about it 804 00:44:15,156 --> 00:44:18,236 Speaker 1: easy love, like nothing complicated. My mom always goes to 805 00:44:18,276 --> 00:44:21,556 Speaker 1: my mom's dog, you know, because it's like how can 806 00:44:21,676 --> 00:44:23,996 Speaker 1: you You just can't. It's like the most goofy little dog 807 00:44:24,076 --> 00:44:25,916 Speaker 1: with like one tooth, and you just like, yeah, I 808 00:44:25,956 --> 00:44:26,756 Speaker 1: get you know, It's. 809 00:44:26,596 --> 00:44:30,716 Speaker 2: Like how can you hate a creature like that? You can't. 810 00:44:30,916 --> 00:44:31,796 Speaker 1: It's impossible. 811 00:44:32,356 --> 00:44:37,356 Speaker 2: But it's like humans are very hateable. Yeah, you have 812 00:44:37,516 --> 00:44:42,156 Speaker 2: one wrong sentence and you could just hate somebody. 813 00:44:42,716 --> 00:44:45,836 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's we're not We're so complicated, man. There's 814 00:44:45,876 --> 00:44:51,236 Speaker 1: just so much room for misunderstanding and heartbreak and heartache 815 00:44:51,596 --> 00:44:54,556 Speaker 1: and disappointing, you know, in the way that others treat us, 816 00:44:54,596 --> 00:44:56,276 Speaker 1: impact the way that we treat other It's just like 817 00:44:56,356 --> 00:44:57,956 Speaker 1: it's a fucked up cycle, you know. 818 00:44:58,156 --> 00:45:02,476 Speaker 2: One who we are and what we've experienced and mismatch 819 00:45:02,556 --> 00:45:05,596 Speaker 2: with who someone else is and their experience. And it's 820 00:45:05,636 --> 00:45:11,076 Speaker 2: not even an intentionally hateful or negative if person or 821 00:45:11,756 --> 00:45:17,916 Speaker 2: it's just a negative dynamic of a particular two energies 822 00:45:17,916 --> 00:45:19,236 Speaker 2: coming together, you know what I mean. 823 00:45:20,396 --> 00:45:20,636 Speaker 1: Yep. 824 00:45:20,796 --> 00:45:23,636 Speaker 2: A lot of times if I dislike someone, I don't 825 00:45:23,676 --> 00:45:29,436 Speaker 2: hate them. I am sad for what they're either reflecting 826 00:45:29,516 --> 00:45:33,276 Speaker 2: onto me or I'm sad for what they're going through. 827 00:45:33,876 --> 00:45:37,236 Speaker 2: Because usually I've found that when people are hateful to me, 828 00:45:37,596 --> 00:45:40,676 Speaker 2: people that don't know me, I find that I become 829 00:45:40,716 --> 00:45:44,436 Speaker 2: a mirror at times, which has become a big part 830 00:45:44,436 --> 00:45:47,556 Speaker 2: of my job is becoming the mirror and being okay 831 00:45:47,596 --> 00:45:49,836 Speaker 2: with being the mirror. And sometimes people want to punch 832 00:45:49,876 --> 00:45:50,716 Speaker 2: the fucking mirror. 833 00:45:51,756 --> 00:45:57,316 Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, have you long been that and you 834 00:45:57,396 --> 00:46:01,436 Speaker 1: just are realizing it? Or is this like a recent 835 00:46:01,636 --> 00:46:02,836 Speaker 1: sort of I think. 836 00:46:02,676 --> 00:46:05,516 Speaker 2: Like there's an element of always if you're like, you 837 00:46:05,556 --> 00:46:08,276 Speaker 2: don't have to be a singer that puts out records 838 00:46:08,276 --> 00:46:10,876 Speaker 2: and lots of people, not just anybody on Instagram. Like, 839 00:46:10,916 --> 00:46:12,996 Speaker 2: if you're putting your life out there, people are gonna 840 00:46:13,756 --> 00:46:15,556 Speaker 2: If you're in a bad mood and you feel bad 841 00:46:15,556 --> 00:46:19,996 Speaker 2: about yourself and you're on your period and you're breaking out, 842 00:46:20,036 --> 00:46:23,356 Speaker 2: and you're breaking up and like your mom is sick, 843 00:46:23,596 --> 00:46:26,076 Speaker 2: Like there's no way you can look at a picture 844 00:46:26,876 --> 00:46:32,276 Speaker 2: of someone having the time of their life and be like, yes, really, 845 00:46:32,796 --> 00:46:36,916 Speaker 2: I mean maybe some people can, but like at particular 846 00:46:36,956 --> 00:46:40,276 Speaker 2: moments in time, I have a hard time just not 847 00:46:40,996 --> 00:46:43,676 Speaker 2: making that photo about myself. 848 00:46:44,276 --> 00:46:45,676 Speaker 1: Yes, I know what you mean, like. 849 00:46:45,796 --> 00:46:47,756 Speaker 2: Someone else's experience. 850 00:46:47,836 --> 00:46:51,836 Speaker 1: I then internally make aperience where they are. They're creating experience, 851 00:46:51,996 --> 00:46:55,436 Speaker 1: not even not thinking about you, concern not even you're 852 00:46:55,476 --> 00:46:58,276 Speaker 1: not even in the thought process of it, but it 853 00:46:58,316 --> 00:47:01,596 Speaker 1: becomes personal for you because yeah, yeah. 854 00:47:01,316 --> 00:47:03,676 Speaker 2: Going through shit, or if you feel really good and 855 00:47:03,716 --> 00:47:05,996 Speaker 2: you see that same picture, then you're like, fuck, yeah, 856 00:47:06,036 --> 00:47:08,156 Speaker 2: eat it up, live your life. So I think it's 857 00:47:08,276 --> 00:47:10,156 Speaker 2: just yeah, people are complicated. 858 00:47:10,556 --> 00:47:13,116 Speaker 1: It's like The Oh Show says, man, you gotta eliminate jealousy. 859 00:47:13,916 --> 00:47:19,316 Speaker 2: I think that, like I finally overcome that mountain. For me, 860 00:47:20,156 --> 00:47:24,516 Speaker 2: the jealousy was just always thinking that I wasn't good enough. 861 00:47:24,996 --> 00:47:26,876 Speaker 2: So that's where the self love kind of kicked in 862 00:47:26,916 --> 00:47:32,236 Speaker 2: and really helped, because I really think everything and everyone 863 00:47:32,436 --> 00:47:34,156 Speaker 2: is perfect without comparison. 864 00:47:34,476 --> 00:47:39,036 Speaker 1: Comparison is a thief, you know it absolutely? 865 00:47:39,116 --> 00:47:40,676 Speaker 2: Is that a famous quote or did you just make 866 00:47:40,716 --> 00:47:40,956 Speaker 2: that up? 867 00:47:40,996 --> 00:47:43,156 Speaker 1: Believe it's a quote. No, I didn't make that up. 868 00:47:43,236 --> 00:47:43,996 Speaker 1: I believe it's a. 869 00:47:43,956 --> 00:47:48,196 Speaker 2: Quote that's brilliant. Well, especially like I've I've grown up 870 00:47:48,916 --> 00:47:52,676 Speaker 2: in a sphere of pop music. That's my history. That 871 00:47:52,796 --> 00:47:56,196 Speaker 2: is not my present, and that's not my future necessarily, 872 00:47:56,276 --> 00:48:00,436 Speaker 2: I don't know, but growing up in the years of 873 00:48:00,436 --> 00:48:02,596 Speaker 2: people would be in college, but like going to an 874 00:48:02,636 --> 00:48:05,796 Speaker 2: award show and then you get lined up and people 875 00:48:05,876 --> 00:48:10,156 Speaker 2: pick like their favorite but like, they're of the craziest 876 00:48:10,196 --> 00:48:14,076 Speaker 2: things that I've experienced. And I could laugh about it now, 877 00:48:14,116 --> 00:48:16,436 Speaker 2: but at the time it was really hard to Like 878 00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:19,916 Speaker 2: they would line up multiple women's bodies and just compare 879 00:48:20,036 --> 00:48:24,356 Speaker 2: like nose to nose, lips to lips, arm to arm, 880 00:48:24,396 --> 00:48:27,356 Speaker 2: breast to breast, asked to ask like who has the 881 00:48:27,356 --> 00:48:30,876 Speaker 2: best and if you could make the hottest woman, which 882 00:48:30,876 --> 00:48:33,276 Speaker 2: if each of these women would you put together? And 883 00:48:33,356 --> 00:48:36,356 Speaker 2: things like that were just you know, that definitely took 884 00:48:36,356 --> 00:48:39,956 Speaker 2: a toll. It turned into a really severe eating disorder 885 00:48:40,996 --> 00:48:44,356 Speaker 2: because I didn't as all I could control. I felt like, Wow, 886 00:48:45,036 --> 00:48:46,916 Speaker 2: thank god, I'm in a place right now. I'm just like, 887 00:48:47,196 --> 00:48:47,876 Speaker 2: I'm really hot. 888 00:48:47,996 --> 00:48:51,236 Speaker 1: So it's fine, it's beautiful. I'm so glad you're in 889 00:48:51,236 --> 00:48:56,076 Speaker 1: a good place personally and musically, and you're so excited 890 00:48:56,316 --> 00:48:59,636 Speaker 1: You've you've found what you want to do. The first 891 00:49:00,116 --> 00:49:03,556 Speaker 1: the first song of like the you know this is it. 892 00:49:03,556 --> 00:49:05,356 Speaker 2: It's funny that you say you found what I want 893 00:49:05,356 --> 00:49:07,116 Speaker 2: to do. I actually have no idea what I want 894 00:49:07,156 --> 00:49:10,316 Speaker 2: to do. Like this very well might be the last 895 00:49:10,316 --> 00:49:12,476 Speaker 2: song and the last album I ever put out. I 896 00:49:12,476 --> 00:49:17,116 Speaker 2: don't know. I'm letting. I've let go of the control 897 00:49:17,316 --> 00:49:21,476 Speaker 2: of what I think should happen. I'm allowing what is 898 00:49:21,516 --> 00:49:24,596 Speaker 2: going to happen happen. And I'm gonna work really, really 899 00:49:24,636 --> 00:49:29,196 Speaker 2: hard to facilitate safe spaces for all people. That's all. 900 00:49:29,236 --> 00:49:30,676 Speaker 2: I know what I want to do, and I'm not 901 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:34,716 Speaker 2: sure exactly what that means, but you know, for the summer, 902 00:49:34,796 --> 00:49:36,876 Speaker 2: that means a tour and we'll see where that goes. 903 00:49:37,516 --> 00:49:39,676 Speaker 1: I'm sure your tour will be a safe space for everyone. 904 00:49:39,716 --> 00:49:41,316 Speaker 1: It's gonna beautiful, it's gonna be great. 905 00:49:42,076 --> 00:49:43,636 Speaker 2: It's so fun. You should cut me. You'll have a 906 00:49:43,636 --> 00:49:44,076 Speaker 2: great time. 907 00:49:44,676 --> 00:49:50,756 Speaker 1: I'll come out. I'm gonna be I'll be there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Kasha, 908 00:49:50,796 --> 00:49:51,516 Speaker 1: thank you so much. 909 00:49:51,876 --> 00:49:53,076 Speaker 2: Thanks for letting me ramble. 910 00:49:53,316 --> 00:49:56,196 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you. Go go take care of mister Peeves. 911 00:49:56,636 --> 00:49:58,636 Speaker 2: Thank you. It was really nice to talk to you. 912 00:49:58,836 --> 00:50:05,556 Speaker 1: Yeah. Same, Thanks Takasha for delving into artistic evolution and 913 00:50:05,596 --> 00:50:09,076 Speaker 1: how that influenced the making of her new album, Gaggler. 914 00:50:09,996 --> 00:50:11,876 Speaker 1: You can hear gag Order, along with all of our 915 00:50:11,876 --> 00:50:15,236 Speaker 1: favorite Casher songs, on a playlist at broken record podcast 916 00:50:15,396 --> 00:50:18,676 Speaker 1: dot com. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel at 917 00:50:18,756 --> 00:50:22,156 Speaker 1: YouTube dot com slash broken record Podcast, where you can 918 00:50:22,196 --> 00:50:26,036 Speaker 1: find all of our new episodes. Broken Record is produced 919 00:50:26,036 --> 00:50:30,476 Speaker 1: with help from Leah Rose, Jason Gambrel, Benlliday, Nisha Venkat, 920 00:50:30,796 --> 00:50:35,596 Speaker 1: Jordan McMillan, and Eric Sandler. Our editor is Sophie Crane 921 00:50:36,636 --> 00:50:39,796 Speaker 1: Broken Record is a production of Pushkin Industries. If you 922 00:50:39,876 --> 00:50:42,756 Speaker 1: love this show and others from Pushkin, consider subscribing to 923 00:50:42,956 --> 00:50:47,236 Speaker 1: Pushkin Plus. Pushkin Plus is a podcast subscription service that 924 00:50:47,316 --> 00:50:51,236 Speaker 1: offers bonus content and uninterrupted ad free listening for only 925 00:50:51,316 --> 00:50:54,596 Speaker 1: four ninety nine a month. Look for Pushkin Plus on 926 00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:58,716 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts subscriptions, and if you like the show, remember 927 00:50:58,756 --> 00:51:01,556 Speaker 1: to share, rate, and review us on your podcast stapp 928 00:51:02,036 --> 00:51:04,916 Speaker 1: Our Themes expect Anny Beats on Justin Richmond,