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Speaker 1: It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARBFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject to my husband and part time lover,

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I've been married for four years, but we

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Speaker 1: have been together six years. My husband charmed me and

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Speaker 1: I was head over heels in love with him. He

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Speaker 1: was always considerate and very loving, but over the years

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Speaker 1: he's become distant in everything that we do. He stopped

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Speaker 1: dating me after the pandemic. We had just got married,

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Speaker 1: and when the world opened back up, he never resumed

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Speaker 1: his duties as my husband. Now we make love and

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Speaker 1: he gets in the shower and then goes to sleep

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Speaker 1: on the sofa. He said it's because I don't like

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Speaker 1: to sleep with the TV on. But I will compromise

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Speaker 1: if he'll stay in the bed with me. I even

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Speaker 1: tried to lure him back in for sex twice in

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Speaker 1: one night, but he said he was tired. When we

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Speaker 1: go out for dinner, we don't have much to talk about,

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Speaker 1: so we talk about whatever's topical on social media. We

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Speaker 1: talked about starting a family, and he told me he

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Speaker 1: wants to put it on hold for at least another year.

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Speaker 1: Whenever he's on the phone with his boys, he's his

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Speaker 1: usual talkative self, but if he's with me, he barely speaks.

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Speaker 1: He still does the husband stuff, like he will kiss

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Speaker 1: me when he comes in, and he still rubs my

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Speaker 1: feet and gives me compliments. There is a disconnect somewhere though.

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Speaker 1: He's doing just enough in the bedroom to please me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm not sure it's good for him. I'm scared

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Speaker 1: to ask him because I don't want to know the answer.

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Speaker 1: What if he tells me he's over the marriage. I

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Speaker 1: did not think we survived being locked down together for

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Speaker 1: a year, but we did. Why is he being a

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Speaker 1: part time lover? Now? Is my marriage over? Yeah? Your

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Speaker 1: husband is just going through the motions, and you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'll say this about your marriage. It doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be over, But you are right, there is a disconnect somewhere.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure if you think back, you can remember just

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Speaker 1: when it started changing. The pandemic intensified everything, and it

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Speaker 1: was a maker to break it time for a lot

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Speaker 1: of marriages during a pandemic, Some couples just couldn't survive

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Speaker 1: being up under each other all day, every day. And

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Speaker 1: it sounds like your husband grew apart and the intimacy

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Speaker 1: in your marriage is gone. He's not interested in getting

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Speaker 1: it back. You guys only have four years under your belt,

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Speaker 1: six years altogether, you say, and while you're willing to

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Speaker 1: work on it, he doesn't seem to be. So you

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Speaker 1: can't be afraid to ask him these hard questions if

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Speaker 1: you want the answers. That's where the work comes in

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Speaker 1: in a marriage. I definitely suggest counseling for you too,

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Speaker 1: if he's open to it. He's still there, he's still

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Speaker 1: going through the motions. He's still doing some of the

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Speaker 1: husbandly things you say, like rubbing your feet and kissing

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Speaker 1: you when he comes in. He's still even making love

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Speaker 1: to you. So you got to tell him how you feel.

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Speaker 1: You need to find out where he is and possibly

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Speaker 1: save your marriage if it can be saved. You know

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Speaker 1: you always should try that, so don't be afraid to

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Speaker 1: ask him.

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Speaker 2: Steve, you know my husband in part time love is

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Speaker 2: a subject.

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Speaker 3: At the end of the letter, the letter asked a question,

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Speaker 3: is my marriage over? I don't know, sound like something wrong?

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Speaker 3: Though it sounds like based on the letter, something is wrong. Ah, lady,

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Speaker 3: you know all of is.

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Speaker 2: Let's just get to it.

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Speaker 3: You know I could go through this letter line by

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Speaker 3: line and show you what I've discovered in all this here,

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Speaker 3: you know, here's the part when now when y'all make love,

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Speaker 3: he get in the shower and he go to sleep

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Speaker 3: on the sofa, he said, because I don't like sleep

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Speaker 3: with the TV on. Then you said, but I'll compromise

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Speaker 3: if he'll stay in bed with me. I even tried

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Speaker 3: to lure him back in for sex twice in one night,

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Speaker 3: but he say he tied. Well, lady, I don't know that.

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Speaker 3: Then you said, you start talked about starting a family,

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Speaker 3: and he told you, let's put that off for another year.

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Speaker 2: Is my marriage over?

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Speaker 3: When he's over on the phone with his boys, he's

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Speaker 3: his usual talking hisself, but he's with me, he barely speaks.

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Speaker 2: Is my marriage over?

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Speaker 3: He became distant in everything that we do. He stopped

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Speaker 3: dating me in the pandemic. Is my marriage over?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: We ain't we go out to dinner, or we don't

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Speaker 3: have much to talk about, so we talk about whatever's

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Speaker 3: topical on social media. Is my marriage over? I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm just reading lines out the letter. It sounds like

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Speaker 3: sound like a rap to me. But the problem you have,

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Speaker 3: ma'am is I'm scared to ask because I don't want

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Speaker 3: to know the answer. You can't put your head in

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Speaker 3: the sand. I don't understand that part of it. I'm

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Speaker 3: scared to ask because I don't want to know the answer.

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Speaker 3: Seemed to me like you already know the answer, you

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Speaker 3: just don't want to hear it. So with the rest

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Speaker 3: of this letter, I'm going going to do a reenactment.

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Speaker 3: Shirley and Carlor will ask me a series of questions

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Speaker 3: that a wife would normally ask her husband, and I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna show you the answer you probably getting, which will

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Speaker 3: answer the question is my marriage over? These questions will

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Speaker 3: be about anything from finanswers to the children, to going

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Speaker 3: out to dinner, to public relations, anything, and I will

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Speaker 3: answer a way your husband is asking you and you

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Speaker 3: tell me, is your marriage over? We'll do that when

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Speaker 3: we come back right after this.

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Speaker 1: All right, at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter, subject my husband and part time lover. We'll

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Speaker 1: get back into it with reenactment right after this. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is my husband and

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Speaker 1: part time lover.

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Speaker 3: Well, we have a problem. This woman been married four years,

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Speaker 3: being together six. She's asking us is her marriage over?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 3: Everything will changed after the pandemic. H he make love

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Speaker 3: to her now he getting the shy and he goes

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Speaker 3: sleep on sofa. She then tried to lure him back

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Speaker 3: with six twice. He don't come back in there.

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Speaker 2: He tied.

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Speaker 3: When they're on the phone talking with his boys. He

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Speaker 3: is usual talking hisself. When he talked to her, he

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Speaker 3: shut down. When they go to dinner. They ain't got

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Speaker 3: nothing to talk about himself was topical on social media.

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Speaker 3: He don't do that. He still kissing when he come

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Speaker 3: in the house, but it's total disconnect. The lady says

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Speaker 3: she's afraid to ask because I don't want to know

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Speaker 3: the else. What if he tells me he's over the marriage.

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Speaker 3: Then she said, I don't think we'd be survived being

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Speaker 3: locked down together for a year talking about the pandemic.

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Speaker 3: But they did survive it, but everything changed after that.

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Speaker 3: So did you survive it? I'm not sure so. Now,

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Speaker 3: since this letter is so obvious to me, what I've

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Speaker 3: decided to do is ask Shirley and Carl Hm to

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Speaker 3: ask me any questions, and I'm gonna be the husband

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Speaker 3: that's in the letter, and I will answer the letter

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Speaker 3: based on how I think this man has been acting.

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Speaker 3: He's aloof he's distant, he's disconnected. Ladies and gentlemen, let

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Speaker 3: us begin with the wives questioning the husband.

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Speaker 1: Honey, you want dinner.

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Speaker 2: Ninet hungry already? Eight? I ate yesterday, but.

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Speaker 1: Surely you're hungry now. I can fixture.

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Speaker 2: Whatever you like.

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Speaker 1: We got steak, we got shrimp, we got chicken. Whatever

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Speaker 1: you want, honey.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't eat that no more. I gave up chicken, steak, shrimp,

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Speaker 3: all that. I'm just letting it go.

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Speaker 2: Good night.

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Speaker 1: So you're vegan now.

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Speaker 2: Now, ain't a vegan right now? I just don't eat

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Speaker 2: that no more.

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Speaker 4: Right So you want to do a double date? Hang

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Speaker 4: out with our friends. You know who we normally go

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Speaker 4: out with.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah who who what? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going.

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Speaker 4: While we was gonna go to dinner and then afterwards

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Speaker 4: get some cocktails or something like that, you know normal.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, no, I want to do that.

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Speaker 3: I gotta go work a you're busy. Yeah, I gotta

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Speaker 3: go work tomorrow tomorrow night. I know you gotta work

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Speaker 3: during the day, but I'm talking about tomorrow night.

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Speaker 2: Let's go kick it. Yeah, tomorrow night. That's why I

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Speaker 2: say I gotta go work tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: So you gotta work during the day and at night

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Speaker 4: you working.

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Speaker 3: No, I gotta rest at night because I'm gonna go

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Speaker 3: to work tomorrow the next day, tomorrow. What you know,

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Speaker 3: I just said tomorrow. You ain't listening to.

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Speaker 4: Me, so you so we can't hang out? Well, we

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Speaker 4: need something together time.

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 3: I don't like hanging you know what I mean that

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Speaker 3: It bothered me. No, I was watching I was watching

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Speaker 3: a Clean Eastwood movie the other day, Uh, hanging loose

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Speaker 3: at high noon. And ever since they hug in these

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Speaker 3: wood they shot him down out that tree, I ain't

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Speaker 3: been able to hang out no more.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what it.

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Speaker 1: Is about that baby. Isn't that baby so cute? Look

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Speaker 1: at him?

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Speaker 3: I told you, I told her, I see what you're

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Speaker 3: going with this here? I told you we need have

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Speaker 3: no damn baby right now? I told you that.

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Speaker 1: Well why not? I mean, why not? We don't?

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, because you see how you just was falling

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Speaker 3: all over that baby right there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's so cute. I don't want to split that

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Speaker 2: time fawn over me.

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Speaker 1: I do fawn over you.

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Speaker 2: At least for another year.

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Speaker 1: But a baby would be such a beautiful addition to

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Speaker 1: our family.

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Speaker 2: Not right now?

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Speaker 1: Well why not?

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Speaker 2: I told you a year.

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Speaker 1: We have the time, We have the time, We got

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Speaker 1: a work in order, everything, our careers are going. Well,

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Speaker 1: why not a baby? I want a baby, honey?

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Speaker 2: Why are you pressuring me? Why you all bote me

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Speaker 2: about this baby?

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Speaker 1: We just want to increase our family, that's all. That's

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Speaker 1: all it is. Just have a beautiful little baby.

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Speaker 2: That ain't I don't feel that way, sister pandemic.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to Let's plan our Let's plan our vacation,

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Speaker 4: summer vacations. You want to go, you want to go

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Speaker 4: to the Caribbean, you want to go to Mexico.

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Speaker 2: You want to go to Europe? Where you want to go? Africa?

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Speaker 2: Where you want to go?

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Speaker 3: You know what what I was thinking about going down there?

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Speaker 2: The ymc A got a the package, the ymc A.

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Speaker 4: What does I have to do with our vacation, our summer?

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Speaker 2: No, they got a family vacant. That's why I want

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Speaker 2: to go.

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Speaker 3: You know, just wake up, go down there every day,

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Speaker 3: you know, workout, swim, come on back.

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Speaker 4: But that's not what I want to do. I want

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Speaker 4: us to go somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Oh here we go again. Oh it's about you now,

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Speaker 2: Oh hey, nowhere.

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Speaker 4: You don't want to go anyway.

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Speaker 3: When you you told me about failing vacation, I told

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Speaker 3: you where I want to go.

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Speaker 2: That's right back on where you want to go. That

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Speaker 2: ain't what I want to do. You lower your tone.

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Speaker 1: Oh nah, I.

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Speaker 3: Can't say nothing. See all this here at the pandemic.

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Speaker 3: I used to talk for the pandemic, pandemic. Now here,

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Speaker 3: come damn COVID. Now all of a sudden, I got

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Speaker 3: shut up.

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Speaker 2: Those four years ago. What are you talking about? The pan.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna stack all this money up now, he won't

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Speaker 3: just go blow through it? Right now we got this

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Speaker 3: money stacked though. We were saying, you want to just

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Speaker 3: go blow through the money.

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Speaker 1: No, we were saving it for a reason to buy

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Speaker 1: a new home, our dream home.

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Speaker 3: We're not gonna buy no house right now because we

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Speaker 3: ain't finna have the baby right now.

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Speaker 2: Damn.

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Speaker 1: I guess our marriage is over. If you don't divorce me,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely divorced. Oh yeah. You Post your comments on

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 1: Downloaded today, coming up at forty six minutes after the

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Speaker 1: listening to Harvey Morning Show.