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Speaker 1: I have a quick stash tambourine under my car seat.

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Speaker 2: A half tam or the whole thing, the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, hold up, hold up, I'm gonna do it for you.

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Speaker 4: Hold up, you do not have a tamparine. What in

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Speaker 4: the navest Staples is happening?

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Speaker 3: I know I keep a tambourine buy me at all times.

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Speaker 5: What's wrong with you?

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Speaker 3: What's up? Everybody? Welcome to adulting.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna shove you toe with my home slice Jordan

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Speaker 1: Carlos down and Jordans Consuelo rivera conchita.

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Speaker 6: Edward Carlos Carlos.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 6: I was just in Mexico when people were like, oh Carlos,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, no, it's iish, isn't it crazy?

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Speaker 1: Just disappointing everything. I like that you are brave when

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Speaker 1: it comes to languages.

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Speaker 6: I am pretty brave when it comes to languages. I

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Speaker 6: will follow my face. I don't mind.

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Speaker 7: I have asked you don't mind.

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Speaker 3: You want to learn?

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Speaker 2: I want to learn. I'm here to learn.

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Speaker 5: Do you want to communicate?

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Speaker 6: Yes, okay, vocal espanol est leoteca.

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Speaker 2: I try, but it's like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I get it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I did yo. I did yoga in Spanish, and

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Speaker 2: now that was not easy.

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Speaker 6: I was like, in speed up, eat this speed up like,

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Speaker 6: which just means breathe in and out. And I was like,

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Speaker 6: huh what Google Alexa.

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Speaker 1: I bet, especially when you're supposed to keep your eyes closed,

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Speaker 1: but you're just keeping your eyes open so you can.

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Speaker 3: See what everybody else is doing.

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Speaker 1: I think it's very brave if you don't speak the

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Speaker 1: language to go at the head of the class. It's

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Speaker 1: just like, go to the fucking back. Just watch everybody,

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Speaker 1: you dumb fuck. I had a I have done a

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Speaker 1: lot of Dutch yoga, and they always say that I

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Speaker 1: take my big ass. So I was like, do y'all

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Speaker 1: just want to look at my butt? It looks like

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Speaker 1: it's heart shaped, just like my face.

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Speaker 5: Like what do you need?

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: If you if you want to see.

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Speaker 1: The ship clap, go to Lizzo's Instagram account like why

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Speaker 1: am I here? And so I hate when like the

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Speaker 1: teachers like tell me what to do. It's like no, no,

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Speaker 1: I tell myself what to do, especially when they're just like,

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Speaker 1: don't be fidgeting. I'm just like I got a wedgie, bitch,

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Speaker 1: Like the sun salutation will happen.

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Speaker 2: N Wait, they tell you not to fidget, what do

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Speaker 2: you mean?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to be still?

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Speaker 5: I'm a fit. I'm very fidgeting.

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Speaker 2: I know that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, I was like, have you met me?

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Speaker 6: I know that, But like in the class, I've never

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Speaker 6: seen I've never seen a teacher say stop fidgeting, like

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Speaker 6: it's not dance class to me.

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Speaker 2: They say that to you, Okay, okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm just like, I am not in high school.

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Speaker 1: Get off my dick. Donation yoga be real? You really

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Speaker 1: get what you paid for?

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Speaker 2: Donation yoga?

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Speaker 6: Oh you remember that? I don't even know if that's

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Speaker 6: still around. And New York was called Yoga for the People,

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Speaker 6: and it was like you would pay.

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Speaker 2: What you could.

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Speaker 3: Yo.

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Speaker 5: I loved yoga for the people.

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Speaker 1: They all got shut down, why because a lot of

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Speaker 1: motherfuckers were me twoing people. Guess what nobody want to see, yo, dick,

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Speaker 1: that's what. Yeah, And y'all better keep this information in.

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Speaker 1: I mean, allegedly, I've never felt so like Breakfast clubby

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Speaker 1: like Wendy Williams till now.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I did not know that.

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Speaker 7: You know what.

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Speaker 3: I got a.

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Speaker 1: Question for you, please, I've known you for a good

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Speaker 1: long time. I've never seen you drunk and out of control.

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Speaker 2: Why do you want to see me drunk and out

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Speaker 2: of control? Because I want to?

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Speaker 6: Do you understand, Michelle, no one's going to get the

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Speaker 6: better of me. I am vulnerable and no one will

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Speaker 6: get the better of me. Do you understand?

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Speaker 5: Thank you, Tom Cruise in every movie.

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Speaker 2: But listen, you want to see me drunken out of control?

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Speaker 3: I don't, Okay, I don't.

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Speaker 1: We have friends in common who are constantly drunk and

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Speaker 1: out of control. And you know, I have a lot

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Speaker 1: of parties at my house because that's how I sort

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Speaker 1: of drink responsibly, because I can always fall asleep on

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Speaker 1: my own. But yes, but out of all the times

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Speaker 1: we've hung out at, of all the places, comedy shows,

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Speaker 1: on vacation, this, that, and the third, I've never seen you.

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Speaker 3: I've seen you throw them back.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I throw them back.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm kind of like if I get drunk, I'm

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Speaker 6: a functioning kind of drunk sometime. I mean, I can

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Speaker 6: feel in abriation and sometimes I'll do like the most

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Speaker 6: I'll get is a little sloppy, but nothing crazy.

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Speaker 2: And like I've gotten.

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Speaker 1: Drunk with your sister, and it's fun and we're just

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Speaker 1: like it feels like an episode of Pose where we're

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Speaker 1: just cat like voguing and like supporting each other and

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Speaker 1: dancing and just But I've never seen you drunk.

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Speaker 2: I know, I got it. Yeah, I gotta work on that.

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Speaker 3: Does your dad throw him back?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 6: No, No, I think it was my dad, as I believe,

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Speaker 6: because they don't tell us anything, had a bit of

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Speaker 6: a drinking issue when he was young, and so there

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Speaker 6: was no alcohol in the house.

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Speaker 2: So uh zip zero stingy with de Niro.

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Speaker 3: So you were from Texas and there's no alcohol in

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Speaker 3: the house.

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Speaker 2: No, it was a dry, dry place.

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Speaker 3: What did y'all do? Were you in a dry county?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we were in a dry county. Put a county

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Speaker 2: over in.

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Speaker 1: Addison, dry upstairs, dry downstairs, like a wet county.

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Speaker 3: Dank, dank tank.

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Speaker 6: Dank, sure, nice and percolated. I feel like a lot

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Speaker 6: of precipitation. I feel like this, like I definitely will

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Speaker 6: go weeks without drinking and then go out with friends and.

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Speaker 2: Just have drinks. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 6: I think it's just like this wonderful aquarius energy that

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Speaker 6: I have where it's like all or nothing. Yeah, I

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Speaker 6: can just drink if I'm on vacation, I can drink

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Speaker 6: every day, and then like when I'm working, I like alcohol.

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Speaker 2: Oh you know, yeah, that.

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Speaker 3: Really is so true.

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Speaker 1: My dad's an Aquarius and so I only remember him

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Speaker 1: drinking growing up until his body was just like you can't.

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Speaker 1: And now like it's been so long, but he's still

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Speaker 1: the same person. Yeah, he's still fun gregarious, like lights

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Speaker 1: up a room if he wants to.

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Speaker 2: Is that where you get it from?

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Speaker 5: I mean I think so.

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Speaker 3: I think so.

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Speaker 5: I think we're more alike than we think.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I still am my own person though, because I'm very Leo.

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Speaker 1: I mean even my son is Leo, my son not

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Speaker 1: my son? Otis sure. My son is in Leo s

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Speaker 1: U n Sun. Yeah, and my moon is in Scorpio.

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Speaker 3: Do you know your son?

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Speaker 2: I don't. Oh, okay, I should. You know what? I'll

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Speaker 2: check co Star right now.

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Speaker 3: Check Costar also the time you were born.

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Speaker 1: But it feels like you're giving like Virgo Libra energy

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Speaker 1: maybe even Capricorn hard workers sensical.

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Speaker 5: All that bullshit needs a long time to make a decision.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that is me. But I will say that, like

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Speaker 2: I want to.

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Speaker 6: I do want to get ripped sometimes, you know, like

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Speaker 6: that'd be really cool and there were just no consequences,

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Speaker 6: or maybe do it and get ripped and don't worry

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Speaker 6: about the consequences for once, you know.

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Speaker 5: I encourage my husband to do that.

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Speaker 1: I encourage my husband to have a night out with

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Speaker 1: the boys like every six to eight weeks, because he's

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Speaker 1: always like okay, okay, and I'm like, you can just

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Speaker 1: know that the next.

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Speaker 5: Day you'll be useless.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because the hangovers when you're older are real.

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Speaker 5: But that's fine.

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Speaker 2: Where should I get slushed? How should I get slushed?

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Speaker 2: How should I do it? Help me?

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Speaker 1: Well, you're a classy dude, right, so I would start

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Speaker 1: off like probably somewhere in Williamsburg with oysters and artisanal

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Speaker 1: crafted cocktails because you like an experience I do. You

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Speaker 1: don't need like shots and some bullshit and like beer

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Speaker 1: and whatnot. No offense if you do that, but that's

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Speaker 1: not our guy. Jordan Edward Kuncheta Rivera.

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Speaker 2: Carlos the third, Yes, yes.

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Speaker 1: The third, And then I'd probably go somewhere rooftop because

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Speaker 1: you enjoy see and definitely get to know the bartenders

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Speaker 1: so they can make you a good drink but stronger,

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Speaker 1: and then I'd probably end up somewhere like at a restaurant,

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Speaker 1: maybe a Peruvian one or a Cuban one, where you

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Speaker 1: could have your darkened stormies with some delicious food, because

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Speaker 1: you're gonna need a nash. I think it's daytime to

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Speaker 1: night time drinking.

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Speaker 6: Am I And then just to the point of like

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Speaker 6: totally passed out, somebody lays me across the backseat of

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Speaker 6: like a catac escalade, and then I make my way

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Speaker 6: home and then like I'm ferried somehow to my bed.

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Speaker 2: Is that what's going on?

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Speaker 1: No, I think you're so drunk but still having fun

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Speaker 1: and probably don't know how much you could really drink that.

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Speaker 5: You're probably at the Brooklyn Bowl, gotcha.

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Speaker 1: Bouncing to like nineties, late nineties early two thousands hip

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Speaker 1: hop while bowling because it feels like you might need

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Speaker 1: something like I don't know, I've Oh my god, do

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Speaker 1: you remember when we did karaoke and I got yes,

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Speaker 1: white girl wasted?

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Speaker 3: Yes, you were fine.

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Speaker 6: I often am like the scout master or just like

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Speaker 6: you know, I like to make sure that people are okay.

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Speaker 1: When did you put that role on yourself? When did

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Speaker 1: you decide to be that person? Have you always been?

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Speaker 1: Is this a middle child thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a middle child thing.

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Speaker 6: Just looking out for others and making sure that they're okay,

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Speaker 6: and that makes me feel okay, makes me feel necessary,

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Speaker 6: you know.

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Speaker 2: So that's like my position at the party.

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Speaker 6: I remember one time when I went to kancun And College,

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Speaker 6: there was a I'll never forget friend of mine. She's deaf,

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Speaker 6: and we were at like senior frogs and the blaring music,

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Speaker 6: the bright lights all that. She just clung to me

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Speaker 6: like a cat in a bathtub. And I was like,

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Speaker 6: I'm a hero, you know. I was like I love

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Speaker 6: this feeling. And she was like she was just like

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Speaker 6: take you know, like protect me please. And I was like,

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Speaker 6: you got it, you know, And that's.

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Speaker 2: All I wanted to do. That's all I wanted to do.

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Speaker 2: And she's awesome. She knows who she is.

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Speaker 6: So but yeah, I think that I get I don't

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Speaker 6: like being oc. I like controlling a situation and like,

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Speaker 6: there's just so much wild stuff happening in America right

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Speaker 6: now that I don't know if I can ever get

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Speaker 6: wi girl wasted. However, when I do go to Maine,

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Speaker 6: I sometimes do because my neighbor likes to drink at

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Speaker 6: dinner and then I'm on a little island in Maine,

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Speaker 6: and like all the conditions are right, and like we

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Speaker 6: aren't super close to the water at his house.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Was really uncomfortable getting high at your neighbor's house because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, we're on the side of a mountain.

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Speaker 5: I have my kids with me, I have to take

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Speaker 5: a boat back. I don't know what this is.

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Speaker 1: And you're and everyone's just like, Joe, haven't laughs. We're

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Speaker 1: getting a little high, and I'm like, we're off a cliff.

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Speaker 1: We're this is a house on the cliff. My kids

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Speaker 1: can't communicate. All they can say is itchy, And I'm

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Speaker 1: just like I'm gonna go because like you're so anxious,

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Speaker 1: calm down.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, those are big steps.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, let's ride in this vehicle with no seatbelts, doors.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because he's white in European like it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, not only can I not hurt myself, it's like

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Speaker 1: no one's gonna believe me at the hospital.

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Speaker 2: Like I know.

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Speaker 6: We were banging on the road in a Polaris Ranger

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Speaker 6: and it was like.

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Speaker 1: Three year old twins just like, and then they're like,

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Speaker 1: don't hold me, mama.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, who catch you?

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Speaker 1: If you bounce out of this this dirt road.

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Speaker 3: Who was holding you? Who is gonna?

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Speaker 1: God? God and Billy Porter bitch, that's what the is

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Speaker 1: holding me?

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Speaker 2: That was insane. Yeah, I mean, I gotta make it

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Speaker 2: a point. I think before I leave this earthly coil, I.

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Speaker 6: Do want to try one harder drug, and that is

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Speaker 6: probably try it, and that is booger sugar. I will

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Speaker 6: admit I want to try booger sugar one time, one time. Well,

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Speaker 6: because I love disco, you know where I live. Added

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Speaker 6: that out. We cannot keep that in. Oh my god,

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Speaker 6: they'll know I did a keep it.

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Speaker 5: I think I want to do ayahuasca.

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Speaker 1: I would love to go to some sort of tepee

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Speaker 1: and just kind of a moment with my ancestors.

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Speaker 2: I'll do that with you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 6: I've been wanting to do ayahuasca for a while. Iowhile, yeah, iohile.

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Speaker 6: We're both bougie, creative people. Why would we not want

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Speaker 6: to do ayahuasca.

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Speaker 3: It's true, it's yep.

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Speaker 2: I want to see some visions.

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Speaker 1: Well, this has been a very productive show. We always

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Speaker 1: asked our guests. What's the most adult thing you want

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Speaker 1: to do for yourself? And now we've figured it out

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Speaker 1: for ourselves. And with that said, let's go on and

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Speaker 1: introduce our guest with this episode, because she wild as fuck,

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Speaker 1: and that's all I can She wild as fuck, that's

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Speaker 1: all I can say.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you tell me, yes, let me tell you something.

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Speaker 6: This particular person we were co workers this year on

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Speaker 6: Everything Strash.

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Speaker 2: She was in the writer's room.

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Speaker 6: She's been on the writer's room for The Good Place

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Speaker 6: as well, among other other shows. She's an incredible writer,

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Speaker 6: prolific writer, comedian, and a very sweet Yeah yeah, but

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Speaker 6: don't cross her on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: Don't do it.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it, bitch, Yeah, don't you do it. If

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Speaker 1: you do it, I'll read about it. I can't wait.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait to read about it.

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Speaker 6: If you do, clap strangely wherever you are, even if

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Speaker 6: you're like on the subway or a kitchen in your car,

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Speaker 6: in your.

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Speaker 5: Car, please clamp on the bus four race.

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Speaker 7: Honnie Brooklyn, what's up?

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Speaker 2: Brooklyn?

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Speaker 7: Stand up? Brooklyn, stand up?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, Oh that's happening. Oh that's happening. That's happening.

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Speaker 2: That's happening.

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Speaker 3: What's up, Brooklyn?

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Speaker 7: How are you?

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Speaker 3: Mother fucking feels?

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Speaker 2: How are you doing?

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Speaker 1: I've never wanted to be a bodyguard, but I was

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Speaker 1: naturally a bodyguard, Like in college for my smaller friends,

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Speaker 1: when guys would always sure, you know.

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Speaker 5: Be like come on, come on sweet, I'm like, show

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Speaker 5: I want to talk to you more.

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Speaker 3: Fuck it like I just it was so I like

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Speaker 3: every character and set it off.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you won't go like every time, because you know,

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Speaker 1: if you see something, say something.

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Speaker 5: I thought that like the time I got my period

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Speaker 5: in ninety four, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I was like, let's go.

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Speaker 3: Is that too much? This is too much?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry I brought my emotions to this.

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Speaker 3: I know it was how much movement?

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Speaker 6: Are you?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Probably kicked in yet?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of edibles kicking in. I had a great

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Speaker 1: time with my kids this weekend. Do you do edibles

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Speaker 1: when you with your daughter?

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Speaker 2: I absolutely do.

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Speaker 3: You got to.

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Speaker 7: You have to.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is the reason why wait, wait, my

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Speaker 1: mom would be so much more fun if she just

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Speaker 1: popped a little cherry's.

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Speaker 2: Waitummy, wait, how old is your daughter?

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Speaker 6: She's twelve. I don't know them. I don't do them

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Speaker 6: with her. You know what I'm saying. I do them

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Speaker 6: around her.

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Speaker 3: You could do them with her. I wouldn't judge you.

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Speaker 2: Listen, thank you.

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Speaker 3: You gotta start somewhere.

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Speaker 2: Kids are three.

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Speaker 5: My kids are three.

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Speaker 3: What's your point?

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Speaker 5: Do you know how much fucking coloring I have to do?

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Speaker 2: So? How long do you keep the coloring?

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Speaker 5: I thought you meant the high What do you mean,

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Speaker 5: like the old color things?

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Speaker 2: They color all day, all day? Do you keep? Do

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Speaker 2: you hold onto every piece of their.

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Speaker 3: I throw it all away right away. Sometimes I'll take

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Speaker 3: a picture of it. It doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: They're not bask yacht, you know what I mean. They're

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Speaker 1: like three year old twins. It's not a big deal.

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Speaker 1: But you know, every time I go out with them,

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Speaker 1: I feel like a like a better, more accomplished parent.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's sort of like when I first adopted my first dog, Lola.

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Speaker 1: She's a lab mastiff. She was Are you a lab mastive.

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Speaker 3: Corner on your mom's side?

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Speaker 2: Doctor Jingles is here, the lab mastiff from the neighborhood.

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Speaker 3: God, I'm sassy in the crop jacket.

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Speaker 2: Is nuts.

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Speaker 1: It's why I like, I was really anxious about dog

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Speaker 1: parks because I realized like dog parents are like acting

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Speaker 1: parents of kids and shit like if they're assholes, then

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Speaker 1: their kids are assholes and the dogs are assholes.

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Speaker 5: So I was just like, I can't be around people

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Speaker 5: who don't get it, do you.

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Speaker 3: Know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Because then I'm gonna be that bitch. Yeah, like I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be like a video either on Amanda Seals's ig

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Speaker 1: page or the Shade Room that calls.

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Speaker 6: To mind that I took my dog to the dog

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Speaker 6: park this weekend. He got pet on, and not in

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Speaker 6: a fun way. H yeah, my dog is ten years old,

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Speaker 6: very sweet dog. And then this other dog like the

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Speaker 6: owner was really kind of like just very nervous and

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Speaker 6: and just just was it a puppy.

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Speaker 5: No, it wasn't trained.

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Speaker 6: It was one and a half years old. And this

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Speaker 6: the owner was just like, I never let it off

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Speaker 6: the leash. I never let off the leash. And I

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Speaker 6: was like, it's okay, my dog's very chill, it's ten

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Speaker 6: years old, let's off the leash. Immediately starts taking a

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Speaker 6: sweet ass piss on my dog. My dog looks at

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Speaker 6: me with big eyes, and my dog's like is this

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Speaker 6: sex Is this?

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Speaker 3: What? Sexist?

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Speaker 2: Did not ask my dog's kink anything like that, just

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Speaker 2: full on for you.

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Speaker 5: Don't have to make it sexual.

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Speaker 2: They laughed.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, see that's the thing that I'm the asshole

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, come get your dog.

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Speaker 3: Well, because I'm always like, how would you like.

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Speaker 1: It if I piss on you by accident, like that's

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Speaker 1: where I go, And then people are like we want

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Speaker 1: Broad City. I'm like, never mind, and then I gotta

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Speaker 1: walk away when they fucking know you that's horrible.

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Speaker 2: Well, the person was really neurotic. The owner was really neurotic.

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Speaker 2: And it was just like edibles.

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Speaker 5: Huh did be an edible to hang out?

401
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 6: I would have like just thrown a cluster of edibles

403
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Speaker 6: at his face, like hopefully some would.

404
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 2: Have gone in.

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Speaker 6: But like he was like, I'm so sorry, oh my god,

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Speaker 6: but but your dog takes on your personality, your energy,

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Speaker 6: your energy.

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Speaker 2: Actually, So what I said was like, it's okay. You know,

409
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 2: this gives shape to.

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Speaker 6: My morning because I hate conflict and I'm an aquarius,

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Speaker 6: so it's like it's like, it's fine, everything's fine.

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Speaker 2: Your dog's just fully pissing on my.

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Speaker 1: Dog, and you're gonna go write a think piece about it.

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Speaker 1: I was six minutes and material.

415
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was. It happened.

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Speaker 6: And then I had some wipes on me, so I'm

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Speaker 6: wiping off my dog and then the dog does it again,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, we're going home now.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, We're going home.

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Speaker 5: And that sucks.

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00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know.

422
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, this one time, my friend's kid, we

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Speaker 1: were all hanging out and he turned the stereo real

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Speaker 1: loud and it was jarring. So I turned it down

425
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Speaker 1: and I like got black aunty on him and he's

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Speaker 1: like this little Dutch kid and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: don't touch it again.

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Speaker 3: But I just did the I just did the finger

429
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Speaker 3: like this. It wasn't.

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Speaker 2: It was just like, you know, better, that's abuse, that's

431
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Speaker 2: the No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: But you know what, his parents were off drunk, they

433
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Speaker 1: weren't watching, so I'm just like better, Well that's the thing. Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, this is like, look, my parents talk about

435
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 1: getting b I don't condone that shit. But you know,

436
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 1: the village ship is real because now it's not always

437
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: a neighborhood. It's like your chosen family. And so I

438
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 1: think they knew I would have it, but still you

439
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 1: got to come get your kid and they have a

440
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Speaker 1: dog that's always got a dingle berry.

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Speaker 5: I'm like you, guys, you guys, like this is too much?

442
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Speaker 7: Is this too much?

443
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 5: This is too much?

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00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: Too much.

445
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 5: Let's bring our guest out, shall we?

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00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, please give it up for the one and only race,

447
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,479
Speaker 2: right right, right, right right?

448
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 3: I done?

449
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 2: Well, look at this, Look at this?

450
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 3: Look at this?

451
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 7: Donny?

452
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 2: Everybody, hello, oh my.

453
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 3: God, you're I'm sitting next to like the most charming

454
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 3: people on the planet. What am I supposed to do?

455
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 3: That's you? First of all, is this a bodysuit? H No, no, no,

456
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 3: it's a turtle neck from H and MS ducked in

457
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 3: like that.

458
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well even the pleasure principal janijid well.

459
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 3: I'm here for you, gonna run over that stool real quick.

460
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 3: So I am twice is not stylish because I stole

461
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 3: this from a young shorty who doesn't know she stole

462
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 3: it from janij Azhu. So yeah, I just follow like

463
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 3: twenty three year olds on Instagram and hope that nobody

464
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 3: judges me for being middle age. You were not what

465
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 3: the fucking middle age to you? I don't even fucking

466
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 3: know how do black people live anymore?

467
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 2: That's a good question, great question.

468
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,119
Speaker 7: We got it.

469
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 3: You gotta bat parent, you gotta facture in a lot

470
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 3: of things now, Like Clarence Thomas, he's got an infection

471
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 3: right now, but he's also in his seventies. Like is

472
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: that a good showing? You know what I mean?

473
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 6: Okay, so, oh yeah, I took that bed a long

474
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 6: time ago. I think he is, and thankfully is.

475
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 2: I hope he don't know.

476
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 3: That.

477
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you watched TV that in front of everybody.

478
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 3: I love that. Do you feel free?

479
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, just saying when I take when I get home,

480
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: you know, you know, yes, hold that way up.

481
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 6: Well, it is kind of funny that like his nieces

482
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,919
Speaker 6: and nephews call him uncle Thomas, but.

483
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 5: It is an uncle Tom.

484
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 3: That's right. But it's like it doesn't that doesn't that

485
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: make it so shocking? That makes it so shocking? Like

486
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 3: if I were a black person and my name was Tom,

487
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 3: I would be the most woke motherfucker out there. Yeah,

488
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 3: because you are not going to get an off chance

489
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 3: opportunity to call me uncle.

490
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 2: Anything, you know.

491
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, but he's got a lot of evil in his heart,

492
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 6: and evil people live like a long time, Yeah they do.

493
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, they're like little cockerroaches.

494
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 6: Well, they live a long time because the people that

495
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 6: would talk shit about them then die off, and then

496
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 6: then there's like, no.

497
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 1: It's just me now, yo, Jordan means it because his

498
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 1: glasses are getting fucked up.

499
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 2: I mean that ship I do.

500
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 3: I do. The last time I saw you, we did

501
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 3: a college together, Yes, Upstate New York. Yeah, it was fun.

502
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 3: It was fun. You are a brilliant comedian. But like,

503
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 3: isn't it weird to be a oh yeah, Michelle, I'm

504
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 3: sucking Michelle's dick. Yeah, but you are a fantastic comedian.

505
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 3: I like love you, and I'm obsessed with reality TV,

506
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 3: so I love you on the circle.

507
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:58,879
Speaker 1: So thank you, Brown City Love. We had a good

508
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: time in upstate New York. I want to say it

509
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: was called Hamilton, I'm not sure.

510
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,920
Speaker 3: I think. So we went to like the college bar

511
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 3: where we bought terrible wine.

512
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 1: It tasted like balstomach vinegarttes, so like two dollars and

513
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 1: seventy five cents.

514
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 3: I was like, we didn't buy wine. We accidentally bought

515
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 3: salad dressing and we're like, we're here, you know. Yeah.

516
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: But that was fun though, because we were really in

517
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: the fucking middle of nowhere and usually we're by ourselves.

518
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 5: Yes, so we were together so that was very fun.

519
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had I mean, I had a fucking blast

520
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,719
Speaker 3: and I didn't know you were interesting, but you are.

521
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 2: That's right right there for that, let's talk about it.

522
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 3: Here's the thing. Here's the thing that seemed ruder than

523
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 3: it was. The thing is, there are a lot of

524
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 3: brilliant comedians who are kind of a dud in person

525
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: or if you're not on air level of whatever, they

526
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 3: don't they're not nice to you. Michelle was incredibly dynamic

527
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 3: on stage and awe, see what she's doing right now,

528
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 3: and she was soups nice to me, incredibly nice of course.

529
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 3: And I feel like, you know how, there's always people

530
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 3: who are like secret sea words. She's not. She's not

531
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 3: a secret see where. She's an open sea word and

532
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 3: face cod bitch, social justice warrior, but also awesome ship.

533
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 3: Michelle is like super fantastic and Jordan's super fantastic too.

534
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 5: I have the pleasure of.

535
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 2: Working all is love to cook.

536
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you when you when you say something is

537
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 3: stupid as open seaword, then you have to spend the

538
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 3: rest of the time with these people lying about how

539
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 3: nice they are no.

540
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,959
Speaker 1: Look, I think, especially in my forties, now you are

541
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: the company you keep like I can't bring that crazy

542
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: bitch to a party or an event to apologize.

543
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 5: So it's just like where, like what are we doing?

544
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 3: Okay? But when did you stop being the crazy bitch

545
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:20,719
Speaker 3: people to party? Because I think I might still be her? Right?

546
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 2: Can you know what?

547
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: You can still be her, but just bring her out

548
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: for good like Iron Man in like the fourth One.

549
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: You gotta save it for the big ship, you know

550
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: what I mean? Okay, Yeah, are you feeling? How are

551
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:31,920
Speaker 1: you feeling?

552
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 6: You had to move apartments because your apartment caught on fire,

553
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 6: but then you met a very beautiful old fireman, and

554
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 6: and then and now you're in another place.

555
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 3: But you just you gave us a whole ass recap

556
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 3: of scandal and then.

557
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 2: Ray take it from here.

558
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 5: Want to set up Those things were true?

559
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: But because I haven't fucked the fireman, it's not an

560
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 3: interesting story.

561
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 2: But what happened and what brought you to the beautiful

562
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,400
Speaker 2: fireman that kicked in your door?

563
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there was an electrical fire at my brand

564
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 3: new brownstone.

565
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 5: That was a cheap flip, was it?

566
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 3: Well? I didn't buy it now, but this is still

567
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 3: in New York City. Yeah, I showed up and paid.

568
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 2: Rent now.

569
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, no, I just I legitimately had just signed

570
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 3: a lease. And then there was an electrical fire, like

571
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 3: I don't know a week into it. Were you home? Yeah,

572
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 3: it was home. What how did you did the fire

573
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 3: alarm go wolf? Yes? Okay, here's the thing. Oh, New

574
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 3: York City is a noisy place. So when you hear

575
00:27:54,880 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 3: a fire alarm, oh no, nobody thinks a fucking fires.

576
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 2: Cooking, right, we're cooking.

577
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 3: Yes, we're cooking the battery out, but Jordan's actually cooking

578
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 3: legitimate food. Like whenever I hear fire alarms because I'm

579
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:27,880
Speaker 3: pan frying hot dogs, you gotta you gotta slice down

580
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:37,399
Speaker 3: the middle side, get your Nathan's on, you know. Absolutely, So,

581
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 3: yes I didn't hear fire. But we were also on zoom.

582
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 3: It was like a random Friday afternoon at work.

583
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: You're on Zoom.

584
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: So there was like an electrical at like six a m.

585
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 3: That morning. There was like the the the outlet there

586
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: we go, look at you. No one wears and ship.

587
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 3: So so the outlet like explodes like a blue light

588
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh wow, Like I didn't even

589
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 3: read my horoscope this morning. What son are you? By

590
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 3: the way, I'm a sash fight your song sad Sun

591
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 3: Virgo Moon, So luck. I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty for attention

592
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 3: and resentful that I wanted. And so there was like

593
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 3: a fire early in the morning. I was like, oh, good,

594
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: like whatever. Con Edison was outside.

595
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 2: Doing a thing, so okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, So I.

596
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 3: Was like, okay, whatever. So later on in the day,

597
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 3: the upstairs neighbor is doing laundry. So then the lights

598
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 3: I'm on the first floor, the lights of my apartment

599
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 3: are flickering on.

600
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 2: And hold up, you just passed up your apartment. No,

601
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 2: I didn't.

602
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 7: That part.

603
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,000
Speaker 1: In my early twenties, I didn't have a washing machine.

604
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes I will just turn that underwear inside out.

605
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 3: Oh. The problem with truths like that is that when

606
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 3: you tell them, all of us are going to pretend

607
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 3: that that wasn't also our truth.

608
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 5: I'm just out here being honest.

609
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: Whatever.

610
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's embarrassing for you.

611
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 7: I lied.

612
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: Who's ever turned a pandy out?

613
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 2: I'm never never. Never.

614
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 3: My parents live in Boklyn, okay, so we don't necessary

615
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 3: I don't.

616
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 5: So you have laundry.

617
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 3: Basically, I have laundry and African food. Oh wow, lucky.

618
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 3: And if if a man cared enough to dump in me,

619
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 3: I would also have daycare. Did you dump in?

620
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: You to dump all? To dump?

621
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 7: How do you find another way to say some ship?

622
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 2: Okay you're saying John Thomas.

623
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 6: But.

624
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 3: I don't even well are your parents here? Yeah? Okay,

625
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: now my mom saw we do stand up like I

626
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 3: don't know four years ago. I was like, okay, rough,

627
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 3: that's enough for me.

628
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: It really is just like as long as they know

629
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 1: we're a good person. Yeah, basically, look, can I just

630
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: oh wait, did you get to the fire apart yet?

631
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 3: Because sorry, I have to Oh, I forgot about that story.

632
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 2: Okay, there was a good look a good looking fireman,

633
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 2: and I can actually hunt a.

634
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 3: Good looking fireman. At some point, like the lights went

635
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 3: off in my apartment, like power went off. Whatever, I

636
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 3: have to get off zoom and uh. And then I

637
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: hear a doo doo doo doo doo doo doom doom doom.

638
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 3: Oh I'm from somebody. I'm like, what the fuck is that?

639
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 3: And I'm mind you in a jersey dress that you

640
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 3: were at home because you're supposed to look like you're

641
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 3: at work on zoom, but you're not at work. So

642
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: so I was in a jersey dress with obron and

643
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 3: I had uggs on, yes, And I go outside and

644
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 3: here's this like gorgeous built, like Asian dude firefighter just

645
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 3: knocking on my window.

646
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: Like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom.

647
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 3: And you know, I've got to decide where if this

648
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: outfit is embarrassing or if I'm gonna just be in

649
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 3: a fire titties out. You know what I'm saying.

650
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 2: Well, the flames are just licking up the side of

651
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 2: the building. You're like out fit.

652
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 3: She goes to Instagram, You guys, this.

653
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 5: Or that I love it?

654
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 2: Backdraft is happening is.

655
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. But he was the kind of fine

656
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 3: and a firefighter. He's definitely not single like some bitch

657
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 3: scooped him up. You know what I'm saying, I'm not

658
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 3: the first bitch in a jersey dress.

659
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: Who just trying to find himself in single Inside me,

660
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: that's where, Yes, how'd she do it?

661
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 3: Sounds like a truck truck? Okay, So I I screenshoted

662
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 3: some of.

663
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: Your tweets, Oh dear God, because I think your tweets

664
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: are fascinating.

665
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: Oh god, she said fascinating before funny. So she was

666
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 3: about to tell me I'm a terrible person. Oh ma'am,

667
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 3: Oh boy, what did I do?

668
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: I'm sick and I'm frustrating and there are no hoes nearby.

669
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: Am I supposed to just go to sleep with something?

670
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: This was at ten pm?

671
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, please explain yourself. No, no, no, that.

672
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: Work together?

673
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: Are you your emotional let her cancer? I don't know

674
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: what happened. I don't know. Ever since the pandemic started.

675
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of like psychosomatic illnesses. Okay, so

676
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 3: like I went out on Monday night and Tuesday had

677
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 3: a whole body fatigue. Yeah, and this like couldn't breathe anohing.

678
00:34:58,800 --> 00:34:59,720
Speaker 2: Why are you laughing?

679
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 3: Okay, fair enough, that's all you gotta say. Because there's

680
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:06,440
Speaker 3: so many more tweets.

681
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: What's the next one's cute boy just told me he's

682
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: never seen an episode of s VU.

683
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 5: I can't fuck him anymore, right, I feel like.

684
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 3: That's self explanatory. Right. If a man that you trying

685
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 3: to sleep where he has never seen SVU, he don't

686
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 3: know what consent is. It is hot up in there.

687
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 2: That's true.

688
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 3: Yes, yes we do. Chris Maloney's Fat Asses, where I

689
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: learned the line between choice and not choice copy You.

690
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 2: Don't.

691
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 3: Don't interrogate that any further. It doesn't make sense. I

692
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 3: have more.

693
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: My contribution to critical race theory, teaching my white friend

694
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: that black people say dick and only white people say cock.

695
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 2: Interesting.

696
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I mean, oh yeah.

697
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 2: We're past Black History months. But but we never we

698
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 2: never are seriously.

699
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: Should be in the books. No, Nicole Hannah Jones. She

700
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:47,760
Speaker 3: brought the sixteen nineteen project, and I brought the distinction

701
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 3: between dick and cock. I think equally important.

702
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: And but you know what my favorite follow up tweet

703
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 1: of yours was white people aren't allowed to like this.

704
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes this is good. Sometimes I say some

705
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 3: things that you know, some black people don't agree with,

706
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 3: and white people mind your fucking business till we settle it.

707
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 3: I'm not mad that should have been in my wedding vowels.

708
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 3: No one tells you rewrite them history books. Okay, this

709
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,280
Speaker 3: is the last one you read it. Yeah, you do something.

710
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 3: Oh dear, it's about to be terrible.

711
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 6: I don't take Tom Cotton seriously. I refuse to be

712
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 6: racistly condescended to with a rat from red to do.

713
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 3: That. Nigga don't look like a rest he don't look

714
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 3: like he's about to make a vegan cast role. You know?

715
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 7: Yeah?

716
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 2: Do you all know who Tom Cotton is?

717
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 6: Oh?

718
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 3: You don't know? Okay? Tom Cotton is a cut in

719
00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 3: the Senate. And so I mean, what do you I

720
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:04,280
Speaker 3: feel like cut in the Senate?

721
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 2: Does it in the Senate? I think Arkansas?

722
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 3: You know, Arkansas.

723
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say that's about the word kunt.

724
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,919
Speaker 1: Though, I feel like a cunt is a badass bitch,

725
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: like like just a boss the way that we've taken

726
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: bitch over like, I feel like kunt is a word

727
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 1: that I want to use.

728
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,320
Speaker 3: And oh, I'm with you there, and I agree with you.

729
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 3: But you know how when you say nigga, right, yeah,

730
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 3: sometimes you mean it in a delightful fucking way.

731
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 2: Yes, you do.

732
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:41,800
Speaker 3: And then sometimes these niggas be niggas. Yes, And so

733
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 3: there's a bitch who's cunt. Rihanna's kunt, right, Rihanna's kunt.

734
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: She's a bad bitch, so yes, and then also Tom

735
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 3: Cotton is a gunt.

736
00:38:55,040 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: The more you know, fantastic yeah, I'm telling you this

737
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: is the ghetto Abbot elementary.

738
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 3: That's what this is. Do I get to be the child?

739
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 3: You know, I'm aggressively rejecting thirty five now, So thirty five,

740
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 3: thirty five in December?

741
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 1: Thirty five in December because you're Sagittarius. Yeah, yeah, December

742
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 1: what twelve?

743
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 5: Okay?

744
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 3: I was just trying to say, if I knew somebody

745
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 3: with your birthday, the only person of value with my

746
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 3: birthday is.

747
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 6: Value, not me of value. That's a healthy hostility for

748
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 6: other human Don't you.

749
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: Want my low self esteem issues to have high self esteem?

750
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 6: What?

751
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 3: I'm so bad at directions? But December chield is Gustave Flaubert, okay,

752
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 3: the author? Yes, and Frank Sinatra him, heard of him? Yeah?

753
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 3: Oh okay, yeah, that's it. That's all you got for

754
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 3: Frank Sinatra.

755
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 1: Well, some people don't like him, no, schere I heard it,

756
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: and he's Ronan's father, so.

757
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 3: I like him. Yes, Oh oh okay, Oh god, no,

758
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 3: I thought we was gonna go like, you know, I

759
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 3: sucked his dick in eighty seven or something.

760
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 5: I was ten, So that's a novel.

761
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

762
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,919
Speaker 5: I was only please me to my next question before

763
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 5: we get to question.

764
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 6: I know, Oh God, I was only going to say,

765
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 6: I was only going to boy. I love Gustaf Lobert's

766
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 6: Sentimental Education. Now that's a good read. Now if you

767
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 6: want to talk about sucking Frank Sinatra's dick proceed.

768
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 3: I love also that what I read for the second

769
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 3: most popular novel from this, from this, okay, go ahead.

770
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 1: What I was gonna ask you was coming from I'm

771
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 1: assuming your parents are after an in strict Nigerian and yes,

772
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 1: so when did you really start to own your sexuality? Oh,

773
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 1: I haven't owned it yet, you haven't, So when were

774
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 1: you becoming curious?

775
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 5: Are you very young?

776
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,800
Speaker 1: Because Brooklyn is very you know, I'm Jamaica, a Haitian

777
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 1: and it's very.

778
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 3: So it's very.

779
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 1: I think Jamaica is probably more sexual everyone's more sexualized

780
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: than Haiti. Like Haiti, you know, we're more prim and proper.

781
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: Everyone's got a good job and you do it's and

782
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 1: even when you dance, it's like it's not like you know,

783
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: so we are kind of But I'm just curious because Nigerian,

784
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 1: the music, the lyrics and the music in the Caribbean

785
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: are very.

786
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 5: Yes, you don't know, and so.

787
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: And so it's confused because, uh, my uncle's the archbishop

788
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: of Jamaica, and so it was always like, bitch, that's

789
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 1: why I'm out here telling dick jokes.

790
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 5: You gotta you gotta have an open dialogue.

791
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: Otherwise you're gonna be on stage in the middle of

792
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 1: fucking Brooklyn being like I turned.

793
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 3: My panties inside out when I.

794
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 7: For your kids.

795
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 3: So it's confusing.

796
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 1: And so I knew that I liked, you know, boys,

797
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: and I knew that, like I wanted to do stuff,

798
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: but I just thought I was a bad person and

799
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 1: I did. It wasn't until probably like my twenties that

800
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: I was like, well, fuck it. I'm just gonna like

801
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: keep getting cheated on and if everyone else is out

802
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 1: here getting theirs, I must well get mine too. Because

803
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: the one thing I did remember from fucking physical.

804
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 5: Uh and what is it called physical?

805
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 3: Thank you?

806
00:42:50,760 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: Because you're not gonna be wet forever. Oh, where's the

807
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: loss of found box? I'm looking for a lie. So

808
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, time is literally not on my side,

809
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: so I need to get out here and do it.

810
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 3: I just loved that you were learning about wopping pee.

811
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,920
Speaker 2: During the ropes course. I guess.

812
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 3: Do you remember the first time you had sex. Yes, great,

813
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: we can't get to question. Let's get to question to question.

814
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 1: Thank you so much questions from the audience, you guys asked.

815
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: We won't answer it.

816
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 3: Yes, let's just keep touching it.

817
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 6: Okay, all right, all right, first question, every house guest

818
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 6: that's visited me doesn't shower at night? Dot dot dot?

819
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 6: Is it weird or is it normal? Do not shower

820
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 6: before bed?

821
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 3: Oh? Is that your question?

822
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: I shower in the morning and at night just because

823
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: you know she needs to get the bits. I think

824
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: it's also relaxing to hit them sheets and be clean.

825
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: I can't do it all the time, like tonight. I

826
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: don't want to wake up the kids and shouldn't take

827
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 1: a shower, so I'm just gonna be gross, but I

828
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: like to I don't think it's a waste of water.

829
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 5: Makes me feel relaxed.

830
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 6: Okay, everybody close their eyes, Oh God, by round of

831
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 6: a just close your eyes, oh God, and by round

832
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,920
Speaker 6: of applause. I don't know why I'm through this, but uh,

833
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 6: whose showers both day and night, like in the morning

834
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 6: and the night.

835
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 3: Y'all niggas is lying? Y'all are lion? I am too

836
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,400
Speaker 3: tired for two showers?

837
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 2: Don what do you do? Do you do?

838
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 6: You're a very just clean man. It's true, I'm very hygienical.

839
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 6: The nighttime shower depends on the activities of the day

840
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 6: and also the activities at the rest of the night.

841
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if you're visiting New York, you're probably out

842
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 1: and about you need a shower your feast.

843
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

844
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,800
Speaker 6: I have a second follow up question about the bathroom.

845
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 6: What's up with your bathroom? Are people not showering because?

846
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 5: Oh what's your water pressure shape?

847
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 3: Oh?

848
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 7: Ship?

849
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're scared of a bathroom.

850
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 3: I would like to have you know that I'm successful

851
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 3: enough to live in New York. Hello, okay, Okay, to Abby, what.

852
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 6: What's the Nictthom, why are we clapping like it's a

853
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 6: ted tog?

854
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 2: She's like, get to the question.

855
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 3: I think it's important to celebrate a thirty five year

856
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:44,279
Speaker 3: old who can afford Goddamn, I'm not even thirty five.

857
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 3: I'm thirty four, so celebrate me harder.

858
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 1: Hey, thirty four and a half, come on December twelfth.

859
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 3: Yes, no, what is it's like? I don't know, as

860
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,919
Speaker 3: I've gotten older, like that was the thing in college. Oh, yes,

861
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 3: we share the bathroom on the floor, you wear your

862
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:06,959
Speaker 3: shower shoes, you bring your shower caddy. Nah. No, never,

863
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 3: I would never share a bathroom with a ship. Like

864
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 3: that's absolutely crazy. Niggas got fibroids now, like we it

865
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 3: can't be a bathroom.

866
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,439
Speaker 2: Drops episode. Yes, niggas got.

867
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 5: A remake by Kanye and jay Z.

868
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm the next doctor us. Niggas got five rods.

869
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 6: All right, So next question, Hey, this is a weird one.

870
00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 6: It says, should I tell Dave that I liked him

871
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:37,439
Speaker 6: nine years ago?

872
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: I have no idea who Dave is.

873
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: It's Dave, your boyfriend.

874
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 5: I'm just kidding.

875
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 2: I don't know who that is.

876
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,399
Speaker 5: And I'm a fan. Tell him?

877
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 6: I think I think there's a statute of statute of

878
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:53,439
Speaker 6: limitations and it says I liked you nine years ago.

879
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,239
Speaker 3: You know that's it depends. It depends on how old

880
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 3: the person who put that question in old. No, because

881
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 3: you get a ten year after high school graduation to

882
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 3: make mess in your friends dms. Right, So it's like, okay, no,

883
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I'm twenty five, and then you get

884
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 3: to tell some girl you hated in tenth grade, Oh,

885
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 3: I thought you were so hot in tenth grade.

886
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 1: No, I mean, I understand where you're coming from, but like,

887
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like if I knew you,

888
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 1: then I definitely don't want to know you. Now, where

889
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: are you gonna say?

890
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 3: Done?

891
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 2: I'm a fan of the chaos. I'm here for the chaos.

892
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 3: You're here for the do it.

893
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 5: Okay, maybe it's a young person's.

894
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 1: Game, because I'm like, bye, okay, here's it. Double tap

895
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 1: my pictures and move on.

896
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: Now that face masks are coming off in the workplace.

897
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 3: Why you got so many questions in your hands?

898
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: I don't know.

899
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 3: You look overwhelmed thinking like this.

900
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: You gottight, but.

901
00:47:55,880 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 3: You don't know how to you go white, act like it,

902
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 3: bitch like you.

903
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 2: Alright, you didn't see any of it. All right.

904
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 6: Now, now that face masters coming off of the workplace,

905
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 6: how do you politely address the coworker's bad breath?

906
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 3: Oh?

907
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:19,759
Speaker 5: You offer the mint.

908
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 3: I don't talk to coworkers, So yeah, there's that. I'm

909
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 3: just gonna if your breastings. I'm just gonna go back

910
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 3: to interacting with you on zoom like I'm just gonna hear,

911
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 3: I'm gonna smell your breath and just go into my

912
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:39,840
Speaker 3: office and be like, this is what this communication is.

913
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,280
Speaker 5: It's always wild when people don't know their breasting.

914
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: It's like I feel like, are you depressed because it's

915
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: like emotional hoarding when you don't know. Like, there's some

916
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 1: smells that I enjoy, you know what I mean? Like

917
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: I like it when someone gets funky personally. I'm just like,

918
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: that's how you that's what you Okay, I'm more for that.

919
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: It's like woo that onion scallions.

920
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 2: You can taste when your breath is bad, you can

921
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: just taste it.

922
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, but not if it's like something in your stomach.

923
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,280
Speaker 5: You need to get your shit.

924
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 2: Checked when you like, you know, when you have like

925
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 2: hot mouth, Like if you like take a nap and

926
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 2: wake up and you just got hot mouth, that's just

927
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 2: like that's.

928
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 5: Just this is a tight ass dad who was napping.

929
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 1: Listen, No, I'm saying, do you guys remember the first

930
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: time you had a burp inside your mask.

931
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 3: A face quef that's what I call it.

932
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: I had to call my husband and apologize for quefing

933
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:33,919
Speaker 1: in his face. I was like, I thought this was great.

934
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 1: Oh you ever put in a mask and you're like,

935
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: oh my god, that smells terrible. Have you ever been

936
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 1: stuck with the dirty mask at the bottom of the

937
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: purse or some shit?

938
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 3: Yeah?

939
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: Oh man, I gotta go into this bodega. This mask

940
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: smells like cats and coffee. Final question, Why are chores

941
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: so boring?

942
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 3: Are they?

943
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:55,399
Speaker 7: Yeah?

944
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 3: People like TikTok make them look so charming. Oh no, no, No,

945
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,279
Speaker 3: chores are so boring. I had to take like five

946
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: edibles to wash dishes. Yeah terrible.

947
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, chores are really boring and they just make me like,

948
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 6: put on my to do list, get a maid.

949
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 3: But you have kids though, Yeah, I do have you,

950
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,839
Speaker 3: so you supposed to. That's the whole point of having kids,

951
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 3: not because you love them.

952
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 6: For I make them do things like they have to

953
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 6: bring the plates into the kitchen. My daughter has to

954
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:29,359
Speaker 6: wash her dish, my son has.

955
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 2: To wash his.

956
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 3: They're supposed to wash your dishes too.

957
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 5: I wish it was like that.

958
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 6: These kids are smart, Yeah, they's there's no time for that.

959
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 3: My daughters. For my daughter's for a sentence was don't

960
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 3: touch my hair. Oh you guys are raising your children woke.

961
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 3: Oh my day.

962
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 6: My daughter is My daughter is very fancy like she

963
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 6: she walked into our kitchen, open the fridge one day

964
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 6: and it's like, we're out of at a mammy.

965
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,479
Speaker 2: I was this child, She's starting at a mammy.

966
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying. It's not my fault. I

967
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 6: trying to correct the things that my parents did to me.

968
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:08,560
Speaker 6: Like my parents, I was like, I need so many chores.

969
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 6: I was like living in a salt mine. It was

970
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 6: just like I never got to hang out with my friends.

971
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 6: She's like, my parents are like, did you mow the grass,

972
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 6: did you wash the dishes, did you bring in the launder.

973
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 2: Did you put the cat?

974
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 3: You're taking the dog? I was like, David, let me

975
00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 3: find that you're about to charge back your parents for labor.

976
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 3: I know.

977
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 6: But my mom would, Oh my mom wouldn't sing a

978
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 6: Shirley Caesar song to me. If y'all know this song,

979
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 6: it's called the Real Cost of My Love is No Charge.

980
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 6: So she would just be like, when you add it

981
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:43,320
Speaker 6: all up, the real cost of my love is no charge.

982
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 2: Now get in there and fucking fold those sheets.

983
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 6: You know, Like.

984
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 3: You guys, this is not an adulting show. This is

985
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 3: an intervention Georgia.

986
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: Everybody on the counter of three say you are enough

987
00:51:58,080 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: Georgia's one, two three you.

988
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the beat my heart skips, thank you everything.

989
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:07,160
Speaker 3: Holy fuck.

990
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 1: I like, look, this is what I realized waiting in

991
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: line for shit this past year and a half. I

992
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: hate waiting in lines, whether it's at the bank or

993
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: at Costco, whatever the fuck. But I was like, Okay,

994
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: this is sort of like when I did a bunch

995
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 1: of free comedy shows and I'm like, why do I

996
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: have to do this? It's all part of the journey,

997
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: so you might as well fucking enjoy it. Like when

998
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 1: you go to the airport, are you just gonna drink

999
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 1: when you land? No, you gotta get a nine out

1000
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: support at the fucking airport. You're gonna get two bottles

1001
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,359
Speaker 1: of fucking prosecco on the plane, and you're gonna enjoy

1002
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 1: the fucking journey because that's all part of it.

1003
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 5: So like, whatever you gotta do, whether.

1004
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:42,800
Speaker 1: It's Whitney, Houston, whatever the fuck you gotta put on,

1005
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 1: put on the fucking crop top that don't fit no

1006
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 1: more because you're sexy as fuck, look at yourself in

1007
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 1: the mirror and dust something fucking make it fun because

1008
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 1: you gotta do it either way. It's minutes hours days

1009
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: of our life do it. We have to do this shit,

1010
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: we might as well enjoy it.

1011
00:52:58,239 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 7: Air hoorn bit.

1012
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 3: That's all.

1013
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 5: We ask every guest, what's the most adult thing you've

1014
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 5: done for yourself?

1015
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow this year? The most adult thing I've done

1016
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 3: for myself this year walking away from a romantic situation. Good.

1017
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 3: That was not good for me.

1018
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:20,880
Speaker 5: I love that that.

1019
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then I definitely totally drag text to him

1020
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 3: the other day. That's okay.

1021
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 5: What was the liquor?

1022
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 3: Oh? It was uh, pino noir?

1023
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so.

1024
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 3: I like did some very irresponsible thing where I dealt

1025
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 3: with a drug dealer in Philly over the New Year's

1026
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 3: He's good at mad. That's nice. Yes, yes, and for

1027
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 3: a dropout, very very articulate. You know. Look, I fell

1028
00:53:58,640 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: in love with someone that didn't know how to read.

1029
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:04,319
Speaker 3: It's true, it's true. It's true.

1030
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 5: I found out three years in here and you know

1031
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 5: how to read. So I was already in love.

1032
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 1: And if you don't know about it, you can read

1033
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: it in my book Survival, the thickest plus size essays

1034
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: in a swam the world now go on.

1035
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 3: And uh and then yeah, I got peano noir drunk

1036
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 3: last week, and I was like, look, I know I

1037
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,359
Speaker 3: live in a city that's not declining as fast as

1038
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:30,919
Speaker 3: yours is. Do you want to hang out? You gonna

1039
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:34,919
Speaker 3: ask anytime soon. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's

1040
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 3: chill or whatever, and uh and that's it.

1041
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 2: But didn't he want to bring his gun to the hotel?

1042
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,359
Speaker 3: And yes he did?

1043
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 7: How do you know this?

1044
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 3: Because where the writer's room? And I'm only halfway embarrassed

1045
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 3: about this story, so I've told it at least four times.

1046
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 2: But that was the bone of contention.

1047
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 3: I have two thoughts.

1048
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 1: Okay, if you really want to get rid of him,

1049
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,240
Speaker 1: delete his number on, follow him, block him, all that stuff,

1050
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,359
Speaker 1: and just move on and find If you're gonna date

1051
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: like the wrong person, at least sit on a dick

1052
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 1: that's local. That's for you too, right, that's number one.

1053
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 1: Number two. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be all

1054
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 1: the way. I don't mean to bring it fucking down.

1055
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: But Breonna Taylor, her cops came to her apartment because

1056
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: her her ex boyfriend was a drug dealer, and so

1057
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 1: you don't know who you fucking who they fucking went,

1058
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 1: and so on and so forth.

1059
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 5: So I say, you are too cute to be murdered

1060
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:28,240
Speaker 5: by the fucking police.

1061
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 3: God, do not do that. I gotta really sit with that, ma'am. Yes,

1062
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 3: you do. Give it up for everybody, right right, right

1063
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 3: right whoo. Ray Sani is on fire, much like her

1064
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:55,839
Speaker 3: apartment L O L too soon, too soon?

1065
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 5: I mean, wow, it's.

1066
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,839
Speaker 3: Like, what can't she do? So much? But I'm also

1067
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 3: here for it. She's just like a walking what can't

1068
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: she do? Sign?

1069
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 1: And if you were ever thinking of like what is

1070
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 1: black girl magic? It hurts it really really motherfucking her.

1071
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 3: Wow.

1072
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 7: Wow.

1073
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 2: We wish her all the best. She's I don't know.

1074
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 6: Maybe she'll come back for season two of Everything's Trash

1075
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 6: if we get it, please watch it on Hulu. Get

1076
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:26,760
Speaker 6: her numbers up now. I I appreciate all her sharing

1077
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 6: and things like that. Man, but you know what, to

1078
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 6: have a fireman on the hook, you never know, you

1079
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 6: never know. That's that and that is what is beautiful

1080
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:35,919
Speaker 6: about New York City.

1081
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:40,240
Speaker 1: Look, you're gonna say America, but really it's the Five Boroughs.

1082
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: Also talk about wanting to get drunk with someone.

1083
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: She would be a good time.

1084
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 2: Race signing is a good time.

1085
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 6: She's she's yeah, got tons of stories and has seen

1086
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,280
Speaker 6: a lot yeah in this world.

1087
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:01,040
Speaker 1: And her Twitter is fire fire. Her Twitter is is

1088
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 1: heated as her apartment. I can't stop.

1089
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 3: I can't stop.

1090
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 5: I guess I'm on a roll. I guess I'm on fire.

1091
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1092
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 2: Oh dear, Oh my god.

1093
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 5: I know it's too much. I'm a mom. What can

1094
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 5: I say?

1095
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 2: It's just enough? You got this listen have you been

1096
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:19,080
Speaker 2: listening to You Won't Break My Soul? Over and over again?

1097
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, the whole album. And let me tell you,

1098
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 1: after daycare drop off, I do the Madonna Vogue MiGs

1099
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, oh, there's tears. I'm testifying. I'm

1100
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: putting money in a donation basket that's not there. I'm

1101
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 1: passing it down to the rest of the pew. And

1102
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: on that note, I hear my kid calling me.

1103
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 3: I have to go.

1104
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,600
Speaker 1: You know what, every time we're potty training and every

1105
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,480
Speaker 1: time they do a good PEEPI or poop oo.

1106
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this was fun. Friend. Now I have

1107
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 3: to go be your mom, go do it? Bye?

1108
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Speaker 6: I love you, okay, and I have to be Stacey Ball.

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Speaker 6: This has been an exactly right production.

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Speaker 5: Our senior producer is Natalie Wrinn.

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Speaker 2: Senior Managing Producer is Hannah Kyle Kraige.

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Speaker 1: This episode was sound designed and mixed by Ryu Baum.

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Speaker 1: Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.

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Speaker 6: Our theme song in live show, Djang is by DJ

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Speaker 6: don Will. This Billhouse show is produced by Christian Banda.

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Speaker 3: Photography by Chrais Fender.

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Speaker 2: Moss, artwork by Jamie Bechtel.

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Speaker 1: Executive produced by Karen Kilgarret, Georgia Hartstark and Danielle Kramer.

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Speaker 2: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pod.

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Speaker 1: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com