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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 1: I support my fiance's decision to not forgive my sister

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Speaker 1: what you do. I don't know, I barely nor give

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Speaker 1: her trigger warning. There's a slap up coming to the story,

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Speaker 1: so if that offends you, leave By Crown. I thirty male,

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Speaker 1: am engaged to K twenty five female. She's an orphan

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Speaker 1: with no immediate family in the US. Her aunt's godmother

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Speaker 1: live in Europe. I'm the oldest of six kids and

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Speaker 1: the issue is with my sister Amy, seventeen female. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from La lad Na Hefe And

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Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 1: the art slash Okay Storytime Supper. And I'm Sam, I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 1: and I'm Keon And Op says, my family is loud,

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Speaker 1: boisterous and very close. When I first met Kay, she

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Speaker 1: was excited to hear about my family and meeting them.

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Speaker 1: They are lots and Kay is more reserved and quiet,

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Speaker 1: but she was welcomed with open arms. For the past

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Speaker 1: two years, there's no issues.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: But now there's an issue. Oh, we play a lot

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Speaker 1: of games when we get together, and it gets very competitive.

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Speaker 1: Kay is more chill, but she plays as hard as

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Speaker 1: everyone else. That's what we love.

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Speaker 2: Good.

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Speaker 1: We love you know, Sophia and I. When we play games,

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Speaker 1: we go hard. We go hard. Well. With the last

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Speaker 1: game we played and how long do we play it?

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Speaker 2: Time tune for four hours?

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Speaker 1: The one not man.

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Speaker 2: But I didn't lose.

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Speaker 1: So Amy and Kay were on the same team for pictionary,

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Speaker 1: and Amy was going nuts about them losing to the boys, Me,

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Speaker 1: my brother, dad, et cetera. She was honestly cheating. Kay

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Speaker 1: didn't play along and kind of laughed when they lost,

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Speaker 1: saying it's just for fun. Amy slapped her hard across

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Speaker 1: the face.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. Now, that's two.

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Speaker 3: Hard ahead in the game, major loser, insane just in general,

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Speaker 3: but overall board, over pictuary, over pictionary.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, maybe she was trying to have them write

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Speaker 1: down the word just like. She was like, they are

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Speaker 1: not getting it. We have to really do it for real.

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Speaker 2: Slap and she's like, yes, the word.

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Speaker 1: None of us could believe it. My parents were very

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Speaker 1: upset with Amy and immediately sent her to her room.

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Speaker 1: She was screaming that she didn't mean it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I fear what slap means when she means it. If

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Speaker 1: it was already a huge, big old slap, you can

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Speaker 1: but she didn't mean it. Yeah, but you could, like

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Speaker 1: I mean, like here here's a slap if I mean it,

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Speaker 1: or if I don't mean it. Here's a slap if

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Speaker 1: I mean it. And if you want to see a

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Speaker 1: slap if I really mean it. Check into our Dominatrix

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Speaker 1: streams that we went on yesterday okay and apologized on

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Speaker 1: Amy's behalf. Kay was holding back years.

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Speaker 2: The mom was saying she didn't mean it, she didn't

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Speaker 2: mean it. I see, yes, I thought I thought Amy

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Speaker 2: was saying I didn't mean it.

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Speaker 1: I was. I think Mama's apologeting her behalf and asked

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Speaker 1: me to take her out of there, which understandable.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she just got slapped over pictionary.

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Speaker 1: Since we don't live in my home state. We went

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Speaker 1: back to the hotel. Kay was very shaken and said

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Speaker 1: she has never been hit in her life. That would

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Speaker 1: be pretty shocking, never spent or in a fight, punched

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Speaker 1: me what that is untrue? But Sophia would stubb her

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Speaker 1: toe all the time and say Sam, yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: would get in trouble. Sophia got me in trouble for

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Speaker 1: doing nothing, for doing nothing.

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Speaker 2: Then he would attack me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, brutally. See this is this is exactly what was evident.

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Speaker 1: The next morning, she had a large welt on her face.

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Speaker 2: My god, that it was that hard.

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Speaker 1: Dang. That means Kay meant it.

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Speaker 4: That she had like rings on or something like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean she wouldn't even need it if

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Speaker 2: she just well slap that hard.

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Speaker 1: It looked really bad.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I snapped a photo of it and sent it to

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Speaker 1: my parents saying we were going back home. That was

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Speaker 1: two months ago, and Ka wants nothing to do with Amy.

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Speaker 1: We were in the early stages of wedding planning and

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Speaker 1: there was talk of all four of my sisters having

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Speaker 1: some role in the wedding. Ka now wants just her

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Speaker 1: bff and maid of honor and her maid of honor's

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Speaker 1: daughter as flower girl. She originally was going to have

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Speaker 1: my mom and sisters meet her at NYC to try

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Speaker 1: wedding dresses and have her aunts come here. Now she's

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Speaker 1: going to France alone to shop with her family. Wow.

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Speaker 2: Again, I understand understandable, understandable, that's crazy. A welt really

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Speaker 2: no way back here for Amy.

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Speaker 1: My sisters are very upset. My mom understands how this

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Speaker 1: affected Kay, and she spoke to her about it. Kay

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Speaker 1: said that she felt that she did not want to

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Speaker 1: only exclude Amy, so none of them are included. Dang,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like it's a little awkward if everyone

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Speaker 1: else goes yeah but Amy. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But also, well, I think it's not that they're not

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Speaker 2: coming to the wedding. Well, Amy might not be, but

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Speaker 2: I think it's that.

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Speaker 1: They're invited from like all the wedding activities.

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Speaker 2: I think she wanted them to be in the wedding party,

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Speaker 2: and now she's saying I can't include them in the

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Speaker 2: wedding party. Yeah yeah, which I yeah.

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Speaker 1: Although I would say, if you still feel like you

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Speaker 1: have a good relationship with everyone.

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Speaker 2: Else, then I would still have.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, honestly, Kay or sorry, Amy would understand

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Speaker 1: why she wasn't here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and if she doesn't, then she needs tremendous amounts

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Speaker 2: of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. But she said that if my mom explained

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Speaker 1: it to Amy and the other girls and they were

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Speaker 1: okay with that, she would possibly consider some involvement. Wow,

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Speaker 1: So she's just.

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Speaker 2: Like, if they talk and they're all cool with just

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Speaker 2: Amy being excluded, it's fine.

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Speaker 1: But that did not go over well Sophia. No, Amy

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Speaker 1: flipped and demanded it be all of them or none.

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Speaker 2: Amy, girl, you can't possibly think you have any say anymore.

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Speaker 1: My parents talk to me and asked that I bring

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Speaker 1: Kay to them so we could sit with Amy, have

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Speaker 1: a face to face to apologize me. Don't bring your

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Speaker 1: face anywhere near Amy and clear the air. They also

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Speaker 1: wanted Kay to apologize.

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Speaker 2: They're like, Kay really needs to turn the other cheeks.

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Speaker 1: I said she had nothing to apologize for. When Kay heard,

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Speaker 1: she said she's not going to their house again if

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Speaker 1: they think she owes anybody an apology. And I am

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent behind Kay. Now that is a good fiance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Amy has always been the most challenging

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Speaker 1: of my younger siblings. I love her, but she has

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Speaker 1: crossed a huge line. Still, I don't want to cause

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Speaker 1: a massive rift. Am I wrong for one hundred percent

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Speaker 1: backing my fiance? And there is an update? But Sophia

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Speaker 1: Kean Chat is op wrong for backing his fiance.

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Speaker 2: No, No, his fiance got hit by his sister, and

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Speaker 2: now to the point where there's a well a well well,

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Speaker 2: and now his parents are saying Cayne needs to apologize.

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Speaker 1: I feel and how the parents need to apologize. That's

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Speaker 1: crazy just because.

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Speaker 2: You said that she needs to apologize. Now you guys

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Speaker 2: are on.

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Speaker 4: They had me in the first half with like, okay,

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Speaker 4: you guys need to talk face to face. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: then I was like, Okay, that seems reasonable. She's gonna apologize, yeah,

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Speaker 4: but they're like, oh no, you owe her an apology.

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Speaker 2: What hypothetical? I slapped Allie hard across the thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: You guys are about to get married.

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Speaker 1: Okay, or a really speed running thing for no reason.

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Speaker 1: I would expect Ali to be uncomfortable around you, but

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Speaker 1: like after you know, a couple year, after a couple

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Speaker 1: months and years, I would expect like you guys to

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Speaker 1: be able to be in the same area.

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Speaker 4: Like unless there was like a cordial like apology, yeah

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Speaker 4: and like something like that.

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Speaker 1: But that then I wouldn't be able to see Sophia

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Speaker 1: for a year.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that Sam. Sam's off of our relationship and he

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Speaker 2: can't separate.

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Speaker 1: It's very hard to separate. I understand that I would

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Speaker 1: be wrong, but like, I can't not see my sister.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're talking about our relationship because I would

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Speaker 2: never slap Valley across the face.

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Speaker 1: Let me know if you would expect your significant other

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Speaker 1: to be able to be in the same room with

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Speaker 1: your sibling after a slap. I imagine most people would

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Speaker 1: be on Sophia and keyon side, not that I'm on

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Speaker 1: the other side. By the way, I'm just I don't

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Speaker 1: want to not see my sister. That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to not see you. I won't slap Balley.

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Speaker 1: But we got an update, so I need to clarify

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Speaker 1: something before the update. The psychologist is a teen specialist,

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Speaker 1: not a sports one. My dad corrected this. Ka is back.

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Speaker 1: We're still engaged, still wedding planning, and no issues between us.

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Speaker 1: Kay was initially not happy with the post, but says

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Speaker 1: she appreciated the overall support. My mother has apologized to

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Speaker 1: Kay and it explained herself to her. Okay, so at

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Speaker 1: least someone has apologized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Kay as accepted the apology and is not holding onto

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Speaker 1: anything negative her exact words. Both of my parents are

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Speaker 1: concerned about how Amy has begun to lash out and

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Speaker 1: realize that there are deeper issues that Amy needs to address.

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Speaker 1: You if someone slapping people over pictionary, there's definitely deeper

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Speaker 1: issues AND's going to receive therapyfore right. I'm not involving

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Speaker 1: myself in this, and Amy has asked my parents not

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Speaker 1: to share with my brother or me. The only significant update,

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Speaker 1: as several of you predicted, is that Amy is saying

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Speaker 1: she's glad she's not going to the wedding and told

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Speaker 1: my brother, who is getting married in September, that if

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Speaker 1: he keeps up his attitude with her, she's not going

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Speaker 1: to come to his wedding.

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Speaker 2: She's got your behavioral issues.

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Speaker 4: She's got main character syndromes.

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Speaker 2: Fine, yeah, if you're rude to me, I'm not coming

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Speaker 2: to your wedding. And he's like, I don't, you're a seven.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to. You're gonna be slapping everyone at

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Speaker 1: that thing. He told her that would be fine. Again,

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Speaker 1: as many of you pointed out, she is playing the victim.

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Speaker 1: On the positive side, both my aunt and my oldest

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Speaker 1: sister have said that Amy has been owning up to

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Speaker 1: the slap. She's like, she's like, yeah, I did it,

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Speaker 1: So what she's owning up to it so well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: not apologizing, oading up and how she has ruined her

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Speaker 1: relationship with Kay. Never liked that anyway, That's why I

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Speaker 1: slapped the I did that.

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Speaker 2: That was me slap me, you know, and surfs up

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Speaker 2: stepped on me, practically danced on me.

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Speaker 1: I guess I'll have to hold judgment until she apologizes

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Speaker 1: to Kay. Amy's therapist is working with her on this.

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Speaker 1: Kay has told my parents that she will wait until

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Speaker 1: Amy is ready. My oldest sister has been there to

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Speaker 1: help my mom and said that she believes that Amy

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Speaker 1: I spell isolated and left out of the family for

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Speaker 1: a while. Again something that will be addressed in therapy.

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Speaker 1: She had several tournaments and wasn't able to attend a

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Speaker 1: family event and didn't get to visit with me with

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Speaker 1: my mom and youngest sister fifteen. Not an excuse, just

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Speaker 1: telling those who will ask. Kay and I are planning

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Speaker 1: on visiting my home state in August. We have a

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Speaker 1: very big family reunion at the lake every year. Kay

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Speaker 1: said she's fine with going. She said she is not

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Speaker 1: afraid and wants to focus on the wedding rather hold

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Speaker 1: on to any resentment her words. I guess that's it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not afraid, but it's not it.

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Speaker 1: There is sure, there's more than half of this story.

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Speaker 1: There's more than half of the story left.

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Speaker 2: That's a lot of slabs to get through.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot of slabs. Begs again to those who

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Speaker 1: are had a helpful advice in those that offered support,

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Speaker 1: Thank you all who responded with great advice and the

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Speaker 1: wake up call I needed. I end up calling Kay

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Speaker 1: the next morning and told her about the post. She

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Speaker 1: wasn't too happy about it, but it did help make

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Speaker 1: her request and her godmother's request easier. No, Amy is

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Speaker 1: not at the wedding period. We're having a smaller ceremony

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Speaker 1: in Europe and we'll discuss a larger reception back in

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Speaker 1: the US possibly after this is resolved. Kay is on

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Speaker 1: her way back home to me and still engaged. Next

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Speaker 1: I'm in my hometown, but not at my parents' house.

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Speaker 1: My aunt came and showed my mother the post. I

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Speaker 1: was not there Monday, but I was on a FaceTime

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Speaker 1: with them. My oldest sister, twenty nine females also with

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Speaker 1: my mom. She mom was absolutely devastated reading the responses

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Speaker 1: that said harmful act and abuse and press charges He

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Speaker 1: was in tears and was afraid for Amy. I don't

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Speaker 1: think she really understood until I reminded her about the

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Speaker 1: photos and the witnesses. She was very apologetic, and my

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Speaker 1: dad chimed in reminding her about asking Kay to apologize.

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Speaker 1: And my mother is going to apologize to Kay. She

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Speaker 1: knows she was one hundred percent wrong. And before I

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Speaker 1: get going here, I'm not excusing the behavior or justifying anything.

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Speaker 1: I'm just sharing the conversation we had earlier today. Long

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Speaker 1: story short, Amy thinks Kay dislikes her.

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Speaker 2: Sap. I mean, she let me lose. I didn't win

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Speaker 2: the game. She hates me.

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Speaker 1: You don't weigh in hearts and minds by slapping people

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Speaker 1: across the face. You know it can't kiss a baby

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Speaker 1: then slap someone and accept the mother. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's a reason that politicians don't go around slapping people

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Speaker 1: to get votes. Let me just tell you. And has

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Speaker 1: said that she feels like she's the only one Kay

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Speaker 1: doesn't like. That's not true, but it's how she feels.

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Speaker 1: The latest trigger incident happened over Easter weekend when we

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Speaker 1: were home. All of the girls were talking about college

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Speaker 1: and Amy was saying she was looking at out of

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Speaker 1: state colleges because she had received some interest from coaches.

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Speaker 2: I also just wanted to point out the wording there

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Speaker 2: of Amy saying, I feel like I'm the only one

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Speaker 2: that Kay doesn't like.

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Speaker 1: You slapped her. You're the only one that slapped her.

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Speaker 2: But if he said, that's not true. So I'm just

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Speaker 2: imagining that she doesn't like a lot of people. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're just one of many people that Kate doesn't.

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Speaker 1: Well, my dad, me and my brother twenty five, Mail,

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Speaker 1: and my oldest sister all went to big universities in

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Speaker 1: our home state with athletic scholarships. Amy can as well.

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Speaker 1: I guess she said to Kay if she went to

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Speaker 1: a certain college, she could save money and live with us.

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Speaker 1: I don't think Kay wants you live in with her, no,

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Speaker 1: Kay said, and miss out on campus life. You would

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00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,320
Speaker 1: miss out in so much not being on campus, which

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00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,880
Speaker 1: is true. I think that's true. My oldest sister said

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Speaker 1: the same thing and also added that the school close

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Speaker 1: to us wasn't as good in that sport and gave

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Speaker 1: other reasons, and that was it. Cay and I live

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Speaker 1: on the East coast, my family in the Midwest. Amy's

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00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,640
Speaker 1: coaching teammates are pushing for her to go to California.

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Speaker 1: It's a great opportunity, and several players from our general

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Speaker 1: area that Amy knows are also there. What sport volleyballs?

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Speaker 1: Oh so she's so good to slap it?

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Speaker 2: Wait? Is it actuallyball?

300
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. Bah. In her mind, she felt like

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Speaker 1: she was being pressured into this and that it would

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Speaker 1: send her away. When Kay commented that it was a

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Speaker 1: great school, she says she has been struggling with the

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Speaker 1: pressure and expectations and isn't dealing with it too well. Obviously,

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00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 1: if she's not dealing with it too well, clear, Yeah,

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00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:59,920
Speaker 1: school pressure shouldn't have you slabbing people slapping balls. Maybe volleyball,

307
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,960
Speaker 1: but dad said, and that her coach has been having

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Speaker 1: her talk to a sports psychologist for the past month. Lastly,

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00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 1: I spoke to Amy, and my mom was firm about

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Speaker 1: how absolutely horrible her behavior was and what it did

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Speaker 1: to Kay. I said she should have immediately apologized instead

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Speaker 1: of screaming and crying. I reminded her that she was

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Speaker 1: lucky Kay didn't call the police and file charges. She

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Speaker 1: responded that she didn't think she snapped. I told her

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Speaker 1: that she was not coming to the wedding period. She

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Speaker 1: understands that she may never have a relationship with K

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Speaker 1: after this, and it is her own faults. So that's

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Speaker 1: it until Kay and I are back home again. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate all the helpful and harsh comments I received, and

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Speaker 1: there's another update.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's all very fair, And I mean,

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Speaker 2: she still isn't taking, you know, responsibility for what she did,

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Speaker 2: so I feel like until that is done, there's no

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Speaker 2: way that you can fix this until she does that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it takes two people to mend a

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Speaker 1: broken relationship, you know, takes a person who may have

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Speaker 1: done something wrong to admit to it and repair, and

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Speaker 1: the person who was hurt to overcome that and repair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But I have another update. Kay and I returned from

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Speaker 1: my family's big annual reunion and Amy was not there

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Speaker 1: by her choice. She was invited to a tournament out

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Speaker 1: of state and decided to go, so there was no confrontation.

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00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: Her therapy appears to be going okay, but she's still

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00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,200
Speaker 1: lashing out and my brother and his fiance and me

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Speaker 1: the most. She's been assigned by a therapist to write

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Speaker 1: out her grievances and then they were going to work

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00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,440
Speaker 1: on finding one or two she could work on with

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Speaker 1: her brothers. Apparently, again my aunt and oldest sister are

340
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 1: my sources. She decided to read them all at a

341
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 1: random dinner, which upset my parents and other two sisters

342
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 1: did then send the list to me and my brother

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00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 1: via email. It was ridiculous and most of it was

344
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,040
Speaker 1: not even accurate. Example, she did a scar in her

345
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: palm that she needed stitches for. She fell at the

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00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,320
Speaker 1: lake when she was around ten and landed on a

347
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: nail on the dock, and my grandmother had grabbed her

348
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 1: hand to see what the damage was and it tore

349
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 1: the Apparently that was my faults. Other things like that. Well,

350
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,240
Speaker 1: there's another elevant update, but let's discuss. It seems like

351
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,560
Speaker 1: this Amy is not getting it. Seems like shutter.

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00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like she's bringing up all of these

353
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:17,159
Speaker 2: past things and then now blaming them on you. It

354
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 2: feels like she's regressing even further.

355
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Speaker 4: Yeah, all I'm hearing is excuses in zero accountability zero.

356
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Speaker 2: And I mean she's seventeen, but that's definitely old enough

357
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 2: to be able to know that you're not supposed to

358
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Speaker 2: slap people and you are supposed to take accountability if

359
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Speaker 2: you do something that bad.

360
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Speaker 1: Yeah, but we got a little bit more of the

361
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 1: story and I'm gonna go right into it. So the

362
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,600
Speaker 1: other big update is that she is not going to

363
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Speaker 1: my brother's wedding in a couple of weeks.

364
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Speaker 2: Wow. Well she said that. She said, if you keep

365
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Speaker 2: disrespecting me, I'm not.

366
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Speaker 1: Going, And she's not going. And he is done with

367
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 1: her crop the brother. He lives in the next town,

368
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,400
Speaker 1: and she has consistently stated that my brother and their

369
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 1: witches are trying to get rid of her. A friend

370
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,080
Speaker 1: of the family is taking her for the weekend and

371
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,639
Speaker 1: my mother was the catalyst for this ca and I

372
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 1: are good. I know how lucky I am. The wedding

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Speaker 1: is going to be in Europe in April and it

374
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 1: will be small, fortyish people slash family, and then we'll

375
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Speaker 1: do a party from extended family and our friends in

376
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Speaker 1: the summer. So that is it. Thanks again for the

377
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,280
Speaker 1: wake up call. Still holding on to hope that we

378
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,239
Speaker 1: can come out of this as a family. We can

379
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 1: accept the non closure for a while, and that is

380
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 1: where this story ends. And there you go, But we

381
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 1: got another story for you. Come and ride up Sophia's

382
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 1: gonna pull up her next one.

383
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Speaker 2: Woohoo, my whole family ditched my wedding.

384
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Speaker 1: Oh man, must have been a bad wedding.

385
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Speaker 2: As the title says, I thirty three male, got married

386
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 2: three months ago to my lovely wife cute. We had

387
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Speaker 2: a wonderful wedding and it felt great to have so

388
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Speaker 2: many of my friends buy in and make it a

389
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Speaker 2: great day for us. But a few days before the ceremony,

390
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 2: my family told me they would not be there. Ooh,

391
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from historical sunlight and if

392
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: you would have spent your own store or is go

393
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 2: to the r slash. Okay, storytime separated it.

394
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Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Sam, I'm the third daughter keon and.

395
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Speaker 2: Oh p says some background. My mom and dad separated

396
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Speaker 2: when I was very young. They never divorced and raised

397
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,360
Speaker 2: my older brother and I in an environment that made

398
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 2: us feel like we were still one family unit. We

399
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 2: lived with my mom, and my dad visited us on

400
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,000
Speaker 2: birthdays and holidays. He lived a couple of states away,

401
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 2: but we never went to him, instead just keeping in

402
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,200
Speaker 2: touch on the phone in between visits. It feels dumb

403
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 2: to admit, but as a child. I naively felt this

404
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 2: was a normal arrangement. We carried on this way for

405
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,000
Speaker 2: years until I was twenty two and decided to make

406
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 2: a road trip to visit my dad. I called to

407
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 2: let him know I was nearby, and over the phone,

408
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,880
Speaker 2: he seemed defensive and nervous. Finally he agreed to come

409
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 2: meet me at a nearby restaurant. I waited at a

410
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Speaker 2: table as he entered with a woman I'd never seen before.

411
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Speaker 2: It turns out it was his live in girlfriend that

412
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 2: he'd had were years. Honestly, it didn't surprise me that

413
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,359
Speaker 2: he was with someone else, and in a way, I

414
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 2: was happy for him. She's actually great and we got

415
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 2: along well. But on this same trip, I learned that

416
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 2: my dad was married to yet another woman before he

417
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 2: married my mother.

418
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Speaker 1: Like there was there was crossover, I don't know.

419
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 2: In this marriage. He had four children, four half siblings

420
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Speaker 2: I never knew about. My mom was aware of this too,

421
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 2: and neither of them ever spoke a word of it

422
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Speaker 2: to me or my brother for twenty plus years.

423
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Speaker 1: So we got a secret family, secret family. I love

424
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Speaker 1: a secret family story.

425
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Speaker 2: It just feels like the parents never really, you know,

426
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 2: face anything. They didn't get to it. Yeah, they just separated.

427
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 2: They didn't tell anyone about the kids.

428
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Speaker 1: They just they just kept it under wrapped it. Yeah,

429
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 1: yeah crazy. I feel like you should definitely tell your

430
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 1: current family about your yeah secret family.

431
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 2: It was shocking to learned that my entire childhood, my

432
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Speaker 2: dad still had joint custody of his kids from his

433
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 2: first marriage.

434
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Speaker 1: Would he just go on business trips? Like, how do

435
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: they keep that in set? How do they keep that hidden?

436
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 1: That's crazy?

437
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 2: And was helping to raise them through high school. After

438
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,880
Speaker 2: learning this, I didn't speak to him for a year

439
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 2: as I needed to digest the information and understand what

440
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 2: it all meant. My mother tried to give me an explanation,

441
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: but it always kind of fell flat. She's the type

442
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 2: of person who doesn't want to rock the boat and

443
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: likes to sweep problems under the rug, so in a way,

444
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 2: it made sense she would go along with keeping my

445
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: brother and I in the dark about this. Eventually, I

446
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,920
Speaker 2: decided to try to be the bigger person for the

447
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: good of my family. I began talking to my dad again.

448
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 2: Everyone began to spend time together again, even including my dad's.

449
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 1: Girl friend, Okay Selah kind of just like I'm going

450
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 1: to get through this.

451
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, They're like, all right, I guess.

452
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, he's.

453
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 2: Under the rug.

454
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,399
Speaker 1: I guess it's not under the rug anymore. It's on

455
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: top of the rug. And everyone's like, all right, Like,

456
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,120
Speaker 1: I guess that's on the rug now.

457
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: Just kind of sweep to the side, but I think

458
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 2: it's front and center.

459
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: Ie is there. It's just there. Everyone's uncomfortable. There's an

460
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 1: elephant in the room and everyone's greeting it now.

461
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it is pretty insane for ope to not

462
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 2: know about this for twenty two years.

463
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 1: It is crazy.

464
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: Soon after, I graduate college at twenty three and move

465
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 2: several states away to take a job. Initially things were good.

466
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 2: My brother gets married and I'm the best man at

467
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 2: his wedding. He has his first daughter. After never being

468
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 2: financially stable, I start to flourish in my career. We

469
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 2: all keep in touch regularly. At first, I go back

470
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 2: home to see my family several times a year, and

471
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,440
Speaker 2: we all get together around the holidays. But after living

472
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 2: away for a few years, no one ever comes to

473
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: visit me. It's always me going back home. They always

474
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 2: make vague plans to visit, but something always comes up.

475
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 1: The other family. That's the other family, keeps up the

476
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: OG family. He's busy, Yeah, he's busy. I usually, you know,

477
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 1: your secret family is your practice family, and I think

478
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: you might have been the practice family. Now he's going

479
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: back to OG.

480
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: Like, Okay, I perfected it.

481
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm on my way back, on the way back, on

482
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 1: my way back.

483
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 2: I begin to feel like the glue holding the family together,

484
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: and it annoys me that no one ever takes the

485
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: effort to see me. My brother's family begins to grow,

486
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,199
Speaker 2: so obviously my mom and dad place emphasis on spending

487
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 2: time with them. Three years ago, I met a lovely

488
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,640
Speaker 2: woman who is the best part of my life. She's gorgeous, charming,

489
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 2: and we get along like the best friends we are.

490
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: That sounds incredible, lovely.

491
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: My career continues to take off, and things feel like

492
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: they're going my way after years of feeling lost and aimless.

493
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 2: At the same time, my brother starts to struggle financially,

494
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 2: and I can tell the pressure of supporting a family

495
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 2: weighs on him. I help him out where I can

496
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: to help make ends meet, or to provide gifts for

497
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 2: my nieces during the holidays. What brothers do Last year

498
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: I got engaged and my family was so happy for us.

499
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: We even bought a house together, and things started to

500
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 2: feel like they were really coming together. I was truly

501
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: proud of where I was for the first time in

502
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 2: my life. We planned a beautiful wedding that I'd hope

503
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 2: would finally bring my wife's family and mine together for

504
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 2: the first time. Because of lockdown, they had never been

505
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 2: able to meet each other. My mom gets a lovely

506
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 2: dress she's excited to wear at the wedding, and knowing

507
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 2: that my mom and brothers still suffer financially, I take

508
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 2: care of travel and lodging for the wedding. I get

509
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 2: plane tickets for my mother, brother, sister in law, and

510
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: three nieces. I also find a really nice airbnb for

511
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 2: them because I want to treat them on this important time.

512
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 2: Our wedding is on a Friday, and three days before

513
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 2: they start to back out of coming. Now crazy.

514
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 1: Also, like three days before is rough because they already

515
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 1: are paid, they've paid for people, Like what.

516
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 2: Is more important than maybe it's a wedding.

517
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: Or maybe it's the secret family's wedding.

518
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 2: Em My mom leaves me a voicemail saying that she

519
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: has a cold and won't be able to come, but

520
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: she feels bad about not being able to make it.

521
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,359
Speaker 2: Get over your cold. You have three days, wear a mask,

522
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 2: wear a mask. Cold in three days, it's not the

523
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,959
Speaker 2: big it's in three days, you'll feel fine.

524
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is ridiculous.

525
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 2: I call my brother two days before to confirm he'll

526
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 2: be there, and he tells me his youngest daughter isn't

527
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 2: feeling well with the stomach ache. Two days. Got two

528
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 2: days to give her some pepto.

529
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: Or pepto busy, I.

530
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 2: Don't know, man, give her tombs. She'll be fine. Hell

531
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 2: her tough it out. He tells me he won't be

532
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 2: able to come because he needs to take her to

533
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 2: the doctor, even though my sister in law's parents live

534
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 2: right next door to them and take care of the

535
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 2: girls all the time. Anyway, Finally, my dad and his

536
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 2: girlfriend back out. He claims he's still concerned about the VID,

537
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: which may be true, but sounds suspiciously like so many

538
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 2: other excuses he's given over the years, especially since he

539
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: could have driven instead of flying to the White. My

540
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: fiance starts crying when she hears all this, and wonders

541
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 2: if we should call off the wedding. But I insist

542
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 2: we go ahead after never being there. I was so

543
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 2: excited for my family to be my my side on

544
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 2: my big day, and they still can't make it work.

545
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 2: At this point, I feel abandoned, disrespected, and used. I

546
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 2: spent thousands trying to fly them out on top of

547
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: an already expensive wedding. I realized that my brother never

548
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: really contacts me anymore except ask to borrow money. My

549
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 2: wife was disrespected on her wedding day. She should have

550
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: had a new family eagerly welcoming her like her family

551
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 2: did for me. It has caused a huge rift between

552
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 2: her and my family right at the beginning of her marriage.

553
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 2: It was humiliating to have each of my friends come

554
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 2: up to me and ask if it was really true

555
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: that my family didn't show up. Why are they asking

556
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 2: you that on your wedding day?

557
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 1: Is it really true?

558
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 2: Is it really true your family show up?

559
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: Are the newspapers are they real? Is the news in

560
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: that you're a loser and no one loves you? That's crazy?

561
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,359
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Do you need some space from your family?

562
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,359
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, either day of or like after the wedding,

563
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: I would say, hey, you guys have never shown up

564
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: for me, I'm gonna take some space. I'd have to

565
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,840
Speaker 2: answer each one, each time, getting harder not to cry.

566
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 2: At a beautiful, happy wedding with sixty guests, I had

567
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: zero family present.

568
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: Oh.

569
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 2: I was strong for my wife. I didn't want it

570
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 2: to be a sad day for her, and we both

571
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 2: truly had a great time. But now I can't even

572
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: look at wedding pictures. It feels like both the best

573
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 2: and worst day of my life.

574
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: Oh that's project.

575
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 2: At this point, I don't know what to do anymore.

576
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 2: I don't have the energy or desire to try to

577
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: keep our relationship going. For literally over a decade, I've

578
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 2: been providing for my family. I've been there for them,

579
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 2: but after being disappointed, lied to take an advantage of,

580
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 2: and now abandon in the most public way possible.

581
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: I need to move on Wayne really quick. Op is

582
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: helping out his family members financially too.

583
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 2: Financially, he's coming back a lot and they've never won.

584
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 1: Ope, he's putting in the work.

585
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 3: Oh.

586
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 2: My wife and I have the most fun, happiest, drama

587
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 2: free relationship, and I'm so excited to be starting this

588
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: adventure together. I feel like my family is nothing but

589
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 2: toxic at this point, how can I ever reconcile our relationship?

590
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 2: Is it even worth it?

591
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: Do?

592
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 2: I just move on? And how I hate giving up

593
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 2: and I hate failure, I.

594
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: Mean really quick. A relationship is a bridge that starts

595
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: from each end of the river, and like you have

596
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: to have someone at least build a little bit of

597
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,199
Speaker 1: that bridge. It doesn't necessarily always have to be right

598
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: in the middle equal, but like, if someone doesn't start

599
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 1: building your bridge, it's not going to feel like you're

600
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: in that relationship together.

601
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, your bridge is just gonna keep collapsing.

602
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: Your bridge is gonna keep collapsing. You need a little

603
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: bit of a foundation there. So it sucks. But like

604
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: I think, if you put in a lot more effort

605
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: than someone else, you're just gonna feel sad. You know,

606
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: you can maybe start to match their effort and that

607
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: might be hurtful to you a bit short term, but

608
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: feel like long term it will protect your heart.

609
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: I agree. I'm a loyal person and it tears me

610
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 2: up to turn my back on someone, especially my own blood.

611
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do anymore. And OPI responds

612
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 2: to some comments asking when your family contacts you after

613
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 2: all of this, Again, probably asking for money, because that's

614
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: usually how these things go with exploiters. Please hold strong

615
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: to your self respect and tell them to go f themselves.

616
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, agreed.

617
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 2: I forgot to mention that my brother already has reached

618
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 2: out to ask for money since the wedding.

619
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: You're kidding?

620
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 2: Ohh I would yeah let them.

621
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 1: They literally just see you as a meal ticket. Yeah,

622
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: like that is that little piggybank that is so so

623
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: sad OPI you you deserve more than that.

624
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 2: ATMs don't have weddings, right, oh boom. I asked him

625
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 2: why he only reaches out when he needs money, and

626
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: he flipped out, saying that's effing bs. He said he

627
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: was going to mail a laptop back to me. I

628
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 2: got a laptop for him last summer. He was searching

629
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: for jobs and really needed a new one to send

630
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 2: out resumes because he didn't want me to hold that

631
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:12,360
Speaker 2: over his head too. He never sent it back though

632
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 2: I don't want him to, and he has since removed

633
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: me on social media. Did they act interested in coming?

634
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 2: I'm wondering how much of the buying tickets, booking, lodging,

635
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 2: et cetera. Was wishful thinking on your part. Maybe they

636
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 2: really were trying to be cautious because of the fit.

637
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 2: This is fair to consider, and believe me, we didn't

638
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 2: take it lightly that we were having our wedding during

639
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 2: these uncertain times. My wife's grandparents did not make it

640
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 2: because we insisted it was too risky for them. Others

641
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 2: opted out too, but they let us know in the RSVP.

642
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,479
Speaker 1: Which is when you should left.

643
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. I totally understand, but the way they backed out

644
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: at the last minute fits a pattern that has been

645
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 2: going on for decades. There is a little truth to

646
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: the point that taking care of their travel was wishful

647
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 2: thinking on my part, but also I genuinely didn't want

648
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: it to be a burden for them. Also, my wife

649
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 2: and I realized after the wedding. In all the frenzy

650
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: of wedding planning, we sent my mom and brother details

651
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: about the airbnb, but completely forgot to email them the

652
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: flight details, flight number, departure time, et cetera. They never

653
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 2: asked for them. Pretty sure they never planned to come

654
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: and just waited until the last minute to tell us. Yeah. Also,

655
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: my brother and sister in law weren't even thoughtful enough

656
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: to send a card, text or wedding gift. There is

657
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 2: a little bit left to this story. But oof.

658
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, Kim find said something about how if you're always

659
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: trying to bridge that gap, like you're you're in such

660
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: a people pleaser mode and you end up just having

661
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: like these issues in the in the relationship. And I

662
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: feel like op has maybe been in people pleaser mode

663
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: for a long time and finally like has an example

664
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: of what a healthy relationship looks like with their healthy family,

665
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: and a healthy family looks like fiances. Yeah, and so

666
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 1: like now is realizing maybe I don't need to stand

667
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 1: for this kind of treatment. Maybe I do deserve more.

668
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: Maybe I can be treated the way that I want

669
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: to be treated, and sometimes it takes like a good

670
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: relationship to model what that could look like. I'm honestly

671
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: happy that this happened to OPI because now OPI can

672
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: shed some dead weight and relationships that just don't serve

673
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: her at all.

674
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 2: Very much agreed, But there is a little bit left.

675
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: Let's hear it.

676
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 2: Your family did show up. Your chosen family, consisting of

677
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 2: your friends, was by your side on your big day.

678
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: Opie responds, this is so true and is a gift

679
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 2: to learn that I have friends like that. When they

680
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 2: found out I wouldn't have family at the wedding. They

681
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 2: knew it was going to be tough for me, but

682
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 2: they didn't make a big deal of pointing that out.

683
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: They just showed up harder, exactly what I needed. Didn't

684
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: you say all of your friends of saying your family

685
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,360
Speaker 2: really didn't show up? I mean, these aren't the friends

686
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: that you were talking about.

687
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe they didn't say it like that and like, hey,

688
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: like I heard your family didn't show up? Or is

689
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: it true that your family didn't show up?

690
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: Like really true that your family ate too?

691
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: No, I mean I imagine they maybe did it in

692
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: a more of like, oh my god, I can't believe

693
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 1: that happened. Hopefully, but we have one more story for

694
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: you before we wrap up this episode. Hey, it's Sam,

695
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: your og host. Here. We're gonna get back to the stories,

696
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My

697
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: mother in law tried to hijack every aspect of my life.

698
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 2: Let go.

699
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: I've been with my husband for going on six years,

700
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: married for almost a year, and expecting twins. Woo. Yes,

701
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: I used to have a really good relationship with my

702
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: mother in law. She used to invite me over to

703
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: dinner weekly, even without my husband when he worked nights,

704
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: and she would let me bring our fur baby over

705
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: to play in the backyard because we live in a

706
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: simple apartment. Awesome. By the way, this comes from Otherwise

707
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: Dentist five ninety seven. If you want to submit your

708
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subrenets.

709
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm Sam, I'm Sophia, and I'm Keon and Op says.

710
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: Our wedding was supposed to be small. I had a

711
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: family fly across the country that I hadn't seen in years.

712
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: My mother in law offered help, and we had free

713
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: decorations donated, and we told her we wanted to keep

714
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: everything cheap since I was pregnant and we needed to

715
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:10,320
Speaker 1: save for the twins. Also, that is crazy having twins,

716
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 1: like first for family, going from zero to two kids

717
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: just sounds like so hard.

718
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, so hard to be ready for anything.

719
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: I heard zero to one is hardest, then one to

720
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: two is like still pretty hard, and then two to

721
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: three is a little bit easier. Yeah, you're like, I

722
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: know how to do it already, especially if you have

723
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 1: them like like two to four years apart, because then

724
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 1: like the oldest one can help them yet oh a

725
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, bro, you think I didn't help, you

726
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: didn't your body. I helped a bunch. You don't want

727
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: your kids to parent other kids completely, but having them,

728
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 1: like I mean.

729
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: At least they help in the sense of, like they

730
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 2: play together.

731
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, they just keep them occupied.

732
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I keep them entertained.

733
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, she made the wedding about herself. Our wedding

734
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 1: was filled with her friends. She hired a photographer who

735
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: spent more time taking pictures of her and her friends

736
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: instead of us, and didn't photograph with my family. Her

737
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: uninvited friends were extremely rude to my family who had

738
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 1: flown across the country, and my family didn't want drama

739
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 1: but couldn't understand why they were being bossed around. That's crazy.

740
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: She ended up going very extravagant with the food, spending

741
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 1: two thousand dollars, Oh, two thousand dollars of her money

742
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: or two thousand dollars. Yeah, who's my money?

743
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: Is that?

744
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,720
Speaker 1: My husband? I literally asked for two, maybe three things

745
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: because it was an afternoon wedding. We just wanted very simple,

746
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 1: cheap fingerfoods. She didn't even have the one food I

747
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: asked for it, which was simple. Crock popped cocktail wienies.

748
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 2: What are cocktail wienies?

749
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: They're great?

750
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 2: What is that?

751
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: Keon? Pull it up? Okay, so that's why that looks great.

752
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: I'm now hungry kind of want why Well, yeah, not

753
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: for you. She even made a whole wedding post on

754
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 1: Facebook about all the food she had and the picture

755
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: she took with her friends, and there was not a

756
00:35:56,560 --> 00:36:01,240
Speaker 1: single one of me or my husband, the bride and groom,

757
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: and the wedding boats. That's crazy. She literally just threw

758
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 1: a party. Yeah, potentially on your dime.

759
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,800
Speaker 2: She threw a party for herself. Yeah, that's crazy, and

760
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 2: then posted about it.

761
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 1: I literally tagged myself because it had nothing to do

762
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 1: with me or my husband. I ended up explaining to

763
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 1: her the wedding really upset me and how rudely my

764
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: family was treated. She took it very personally and acted

765
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: like she had no idea when I saw her standing

766
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: right next to her friends being rude to my family.

767
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: She ended up not talking to my husband for three

768
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: days after I confronted her about it. It felt like

769
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: she was lying to me, acting like she didn't know,

770
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 1: and that she struggles to take accountability. It maybe really

771
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:44,439
Speaker 1: worry about what could happen behind closed doors with my twins. Yeah,

772
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: I mean, if your mother in law is acting like that, like,

773
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,280
Speaker 1: maybe it's not the best influence for your children.

774
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 2: Knew we should probably find someone who's gonna be a

775
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: little bit more, you know, on your guys's side.

776
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: I mean, you can still have your mother around the kids,

777
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 1: but maybe just not minding them on superfrisedy. Exactly before

778
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: the wedding and before we found out it was twins,

779
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: my mother in law wanted to be super involved, which

780
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 1: I didn't mind. She said she would help watch her

781
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,800
Speaker 1: dog while I delivered and recovered, and that when I

782
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 1: had to go back to work, she would watch the

783
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: baby or now babies. I was on board with that

784
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: until the wedding went down. Also thinking about the fact

785
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: she came into my husband's life when he was a teenager,

786
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: So it is like a stepmother.

787
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,399
Speaker 2: Oh well, I don't know if it's a stepmother came.

788
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: Into my husband's life when he was a teenager.

789
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 2: It might just been like she was she was out

790
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: of the picture, she was out of picture and came back.

791
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 2: We don't know. We don't know, but it sounds like

792
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 2: either way She's taken a lot of a.

793
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: Lot of liberties for someone who wasn't there the whole time.

794
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,800
Speaker 1: She's never had the experience of handling little babies. Okay,

795
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: so if she's never had the experience of handling little babies,

796
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 1: then she's probably stepmother. My father in law raised my husband,

797
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: so I would have had more trust in him, but

798
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: he passed away three years ago. Uh, it all just

799
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: didn't sit well with my My doctor ended up writing

800
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: me out of work at twenty eight weeks because I

801
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: started having minor complications which was getting progressively worse. Now.

802
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: My husband and I had to sit down discussion. We

803
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: both agreed that even after I deliver, he just wants

804
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: me to stay home with the kids and we would

805
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: be fine with him handling the finances. When we went

806
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: to dinner with mother in law and I brought up

807
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: how I'd be staying home with the kids, she seemed

808
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: taken aback and started being a little shallow. Shallow in what.

809
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 2: Way you not like you being a stay at home mom.

810
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: Let's see, before even this, she would give unsolicited advice

811
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: and once talked about how her friend was a twin

812
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: and one of them passed away at birth, which just

813
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,760
Speaker 1: turned me off. That's crazy.

814
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 2: Why are you telling OPI about this?

815
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about those things. No, my

816
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: mom had me super young, so I view my grandparents

817
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 1: as second parents, especially at my grandpa, because I didn't

818
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: have my dad in my life growing up. My grandparents

819
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: and even my family across the country have bent over

820
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 1: backwards helping us get everything we need for the twins

821
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,160
Speaker 1: and more. My grandparents take me to appointments since my

822
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 1: husband works a lot, and my mother in law asked

823
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: uff if there was anything specific we needed for the

824
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 1: twins and to send her links. I kept it very simple,

825
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: A bottle washer, sterilizer, bottle warmer, and bottles. I attached

826
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 1: multiple links and said the only thing we really wanted

827
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: was the bottle washer sterilizer because it's expensive, but with

828
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,719
Speaker 1: twins and me planning to exclusively PUNP, we would need it.

829
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: Last time we went over to her house, she was

830
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: flaunting how she bought an extremely expensive sofa, so I

831
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: didn't think asking for a bottle washer sterilizer would be

832
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: an issue. I see you, it's probably gonna be an issue.

833
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: I think she's gonna make a big stink about it.

834
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,399
Speaker 1: She ended up leaving my message on delivered for over

835
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: a month.

836
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 2: What is her angle?

837
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: It's her deal. I feel like she wants she wants,

838
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 1: like she wants to mind your kids, but then leaves

839
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: you on red and like wants to help you, but

840
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: wants you to want wants the wedding to be actually

841
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 1: about herself. This is a little weird. Fast forward to now,

842
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: I only have about less than a month left in

843
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,919
Speaker 1: this pregnancy. I mentioned to my husband how I needed

844
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: to know if she wasn't going to get the things

845
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: I messaged her about because and then we need to

846
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 1: get them ourselves. I didn't want to worry about it

847
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: being postpartum. He messaged his mother in law and said

848
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: she ordered the bottle washer sterilizer come delivery time. It

849
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: wasn't it just a sterilizer? What my husband said? She

850
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: claimed I didn't send her the links, but I showed

851
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: him my phone. He told her, I was very clear

852
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 1: to my message. We have to return it, and now

853
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: she wants us to go out of our way to

854
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: return it while I'm on bed rest with complication.

855
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: Wait, sterilizer? What what did she buy? I'm confused.

856
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe it was like a baby bottle sterilizer,

857
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: and she only got like a sterilizer for something else.

858
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,279
Speaker 1: I don't know. Regardless, it wasn't the right thing.

859
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 2: What does it sterilize?

860
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:50,399
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it just got like hand washed. Yeah,

861
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: here's the sterilizer you want. She just bought my hand sanitizer. Yeah, yeah,

862
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: I just put this in the bottle. Baby's babies love it.

863
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 2: I present alcohol, never cries, I've fit, never goes.

864
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: Right to sleep. I ended up making a boundaries post

865
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 1: about how I want things to go after delivery. Basically,

866
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone in the waiting room for us.

867
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: We will have visitors when we're ready, and I didn't

868
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: want people showing up to our home. I read it

869
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: by my husband before posting to make sure we were

870
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: on the same page, and he agreed. He ended up

871
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: calling my husband asking if she could wait in the

872
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: waiting room to stay updated. I snapped and said no,

873
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: I literally made a clear post about it, and that

874
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 1: I thought she was going to help us by watching

875
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: our dog while I delivered. In the phone call, I

876
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: overheard her say how when I delivered, she was going

877
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 1: to take time off work for one on one time

878
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: with the girls and I laughed and told my husband

879
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 1: absolutely not. No one is getting one on one time

880
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: with our tiny newborns except.

881
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: For us, certainly not mama, who constantly critiques and buys

882
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 2: the wrong things.

883
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't be trusted, mama. My husband asked her

884
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: again how we actually just needed her help watching our dog,

885
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: who was very well behaved. We had a kennel and

886
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 1: everything ready and it would be only for two days. Max.

887
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 1: She's now refusing to watch our dog. Do you want

888
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:11,200
Speaker 1: to help or not?

889
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 2: She's like, no, I don't not that much.

890
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,359
Speaker 1: Saying she can stay at her apartment or just come

891
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: over and let him out. I told my husband I

892
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: absolutely do not want her in our apartment. It's a

893
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: one bedroom and we converted our sun room into a nursery.

894
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: I don't want her sleeping in our bed. Our sofa

895
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: is too small, and I don't want to worry about

896
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 1: her going through our things. She told my husband she

897
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: doesn't want our dog at her house without him there,

898
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 1: which was weird to me. Over the course of a relationship,

899
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: she would go on vacation countless times and I would

900
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: have to dog sit for her for weeks on end.

901
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 1: Yet the one time we need someone to watch her dog.

902
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 2: It's an issue, yeah, because anytime you want her to

903
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: do something.

904
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: Well it, she just makes it about her. Yes, she's like,

905
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: I don't want to help you. I just want to

906
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: spend time with your heath.

907
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 2: I want babies. I want that helped me when I

908
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: have things.

909
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: Hey, it's johnyo Og host here. We're going to get

910
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's a quick three minute

911
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,320
Speaker 1: break of ass from our sponsors. My husband and I

912
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: now agreed that we don't want to leave our dog

913
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 1: in a kettle over night. So my husband doesn't want

914
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 1: to board with him because he has separation anxiety from us.

915
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: So when I deliver, he's going to have to go

916
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 1: back home a lot take care of him, which upsets

917
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 1: me because it leaves me alone in the hospital. The

918
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: other day, I had to go to the er for

919
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: pre eclampsia and hypertension. Yank, you tell us what that is.

920
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 2: It's just like things that you know can develop after

921
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 2: the babies.

922
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, what is it?

923
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 4: Pre Eclampsia is a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood

924
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 4: pressure and protein in the urine.

925
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 1: Is it that bad? Is it fine? Yeah? It needs

926
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: to be treated that it needs.

927
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 4: To be treated.

928
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 2: But yeah, but it's still pretty treatable. But it's still

929
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 2: like a complication that you don't want.

930
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: You don't want that, And I was bawling because I

931
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: hated being alone at the hospital when all I wanted

932
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: was him there with me. I feel like the only

933
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 1: reason she's refused using now is out of spite. And

934
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: Camari Jade says, severe high blood.

935
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 4: Pressure, and there's a couple symptoms with it other than

936
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 4: the high blood pressure, but it's swelling in the hands,

937
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 4: feet and or face, severe headaches, vision changes, adominal pain,

938
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 4: and seizures.

939
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: Maybe.

940
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 1: Whitney Anderson says it's bad. Super Nova says it's so dangerous, Okay, jeez,

941
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 1: Like he's trying to find a loophole around my boundaries

942
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 1: to either stay at our apartment or be at the hospital.

943
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 1: I'm very firm on my boundaries. These are my first babies,

944
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: and I don't even know how birth is going to

945
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: go with the twins. She keeps asking my husband if

946
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: I know the day I'm getting induced yet, and I

947
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,879
Speaker 1: swear if she shows up at the hospital, I will

948
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: immediately have staff asked her to leave. Do we think

949
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: she's going to show up at the hospital or at home.

950
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 2: I think that she's going to show up wherever she

951
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 2: wants to show up because she doesn't care about whatever anyway. Yeah,

952
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 2: it's only what she wants.

953
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: This mother in law is no good. I want to know, Like, Sophia,

954
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: what would you do? Setting boundaries is like saying all

955
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: the right things to mother and law, saying like hey,

956
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: like do not show up, and like is there anything

957
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 1: else that you could do?

958
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 2: I think the it's not really an Ope versus mother

959
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 2: in law thing, it's Opie's husband.

960
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: I feel like the husband has been oddly quiet in

961
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:17,080
Speaker 1: the story.

962
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We haven't heard anything really

963
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 2: about like the conversations he's had. Yeah, and I think

964
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 2: he either needs to have a very serious conversation with

965
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: her or limit contact a lot.

966
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 1: He needs to step up. Maybe he is and we're

967
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 1: just not hearing it, but it doesn't sound like he is. Yeah,

968
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: let us know in the comments what you think Opie

969
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 1: should do this whole pregnancy. Since the wedding, she has

970
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,439
Speaker 1: never asked me how I'm doing or how things are going.

971
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: He hasn't been helpful, just adding more stress. I've been

972
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 1: to the er multiple times with complications, and only once

973
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: did she check on me, and even then she had

974
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: her mother call me instead of doing it herself. I

975
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,720
Speaker 1: do updates on Facebook about pregnancy to keep everyone updated.

976
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 1: Since I have a family all over the country. Everyone

977
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: is appreciative of those updates and no one complains. I

978
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,759
Speaker 1: don't reach out personally except my mother in law. She

979
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 1: tries to play oblivious to my posts, even though I

980
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 1: know she sees them. She just stopped liking them and said,

981
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 1: blows up my husband's phone, claiming he's trying to stay

982
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: updated when she could easily just reach out to me.

983
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: This whole thing has gotten under my skin and I

984
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: didn't want it to go all the way, but it did.

985
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: My husband has even been seeing how she's playing oblivious,

986
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 1: and he's been scratching his head about that, and I'm

987
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 1: just over it all. Bruh, you gotta do more than

988
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 1: scratch your head.

989
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 2: Stop scratching your head.

990
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: You gotta do some action, Like oh, that sounds crazy.

991
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 2: I think you need to face it a head on,

992
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:42,280
Speaker 2: head on. Learn from amy not too much, though.

993
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: Not too much. Ever since the wedding, I lost trust

994
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: with her and was very offended on how she let

995
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: her friends treat my family and really made the day

996
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,800
Speaker 1: about her. I don't like how she was already disrespecting

997
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 1: my boundaries without the kids even being born yet, and

998
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 1: felt like she's trying to find loopholes. I don't like

999
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 1: how she's now refusing to watch her dog went from

1000
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: the getting she said she was, and now I'm going

1001
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 1: to have to be alone at the hospital for some

1002
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 1: time so my husband can watch them.

1003
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: Do you not have anyone else that could take this dog?

1004
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: Is there any other family members, friends?

1005
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: I mean you could take you can have anyone take

1006
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: that dog.

1007
00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 2: Anyone can take this dog.

1008
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like there must be other other choices,

1009
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: or even a dog sitter.

1010
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's sitters, dog hotels, pet sitters.

1011
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:25,840
Speaker 1: There is dog gotails are expensive.

1012
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 2: There is apps where you can hire like a house

1013
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 2: sitter who's also a pet sitter.

1014
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also a lot of those apps people are

1015
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 1: at it. They're free, Like you can get a dog

1016
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 1: sitter for free. Basically what it's like house sitting. So

1017
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: the person sitting in your house gets place to stay

1018
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 1: at your house and in exchange, you take care of

1019
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: the dog. Yeah, which is pretty interesting. But I also

1020
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 1: don't like how I feel like she's just avoiding me

1021
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 1: now and wants nothing to do with me, but wants

1022
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: a relationship with the kids, which doesn't sit well with me.

1023
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 1: I just don't appreciate how she really hasn't been helpful

1024
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: at all when I've seen how my family has done

1025
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: so much for us and more. And I also want

1026
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: to clarify I am by no means withholding anyone from

1027
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 1: seeing the kids at the beginning. Yeah, I don't want

1028
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 1: a lot of visitors because with twins, they're going to

1029
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: be more underdeveloped than a singleton. And plus I've never

1030
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: given birth before. I just want time to heal. And

1031
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: mother in law has been talking about since the beginning

1032
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 1: how she wanted to basically smother them, and I don't

1033
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 1: want that. Yeah, I am I the egg hole in

1034
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 1: this situation, but it's just been so stressful. That's where

1035
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:36,360
Speaker 1: this story ends. Question is opda hole? What do you

1036
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 1: think feel?

1037
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: No? I think that you have like a family member

1038
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 2: who has shown time and time again that they cannot

1039
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:47,760
Speaker 2: be relied upon, And I think it's a fair desire

1040
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 2: to want to create a little bit of space between them,

1041
00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: And you're like, it doesn't have to be long term forever.

1042
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 2: She's never allowed to see the kids. But you're going

1043
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 2: you're gonna be in a very vulnerable state when you

1044
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 2: give birth.

1045
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just feel like the mother in law's heart

1046
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 1: is in the right place. It's like, it feels like

1047
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: everything she's doing is self serving. She's just thinking about

1048
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: her own feelings, just not trying.

1049
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 2: She's not trying to make this easier for yous at all.

1050
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 1: Not at all. And like, you know, you're giving birth

1051
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: to twins, you need all the support you can get

1052
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: and you're not getting none of it. No, you're not

1053
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 1: gonna get it anything. But unfortunately there's no update. Let

1054
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: us know what you think, Oh p should do? I

1055
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, he's doing all the right things, but

1056
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: maybe there's something else that you could do.

1057
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 2: Hobby can do.

1058
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 1: Hobby needs to stand up, needs to step up. But

1059
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: that is where that story and this episode. And so

1060
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 1: if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1061
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.