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Speaker 1: Boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a

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Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants

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Speaker 1: of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He

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Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the

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Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House of

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Speaker 1: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour

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Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now in the air everywhere.

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Speaker 1: We are back at it, a new Saturday edition of

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Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Here

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Speaker 1: for all of your audio needs eight days a week.

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Speaker 1: People people email me Danny, they say please the fuck up,

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Speaker 1: and I say no, now, now, now, now now, because

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Speaker 1: we have plenty to talk about. And I'm excited about

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Speaker 1: the Saturday podcast, the life and times of of me

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Speaker 1: and you, Danny going in depth, and we we have

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Speaker 1: a lot to get on this Saturday podcast. Now on

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Speaker 1: the menu, Danny, We've got Woody Motorcade, the Gift that

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Speaker 1: keeps on giving and limited backscratching nice and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: mix it all together like gumbo. Yes, we're gonna mix

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Speaker 1: it all together, and it's gonna it's tastes like turkey

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be really delicious unless unless it's not, and

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Speaker 1: then after you eat it, that's that's what happened. So

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Speaker 1: I really love having the sound effects between. Danny had

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Speaker 1: to tell you, Yeah, I can tell it's it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of fun. Anyway. Uh, everything good? Were you? Danny? Everything?

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Speaker 1: We had a successful Friday podcast, so that went pretty

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Speaker 1: well and and now we're back at it again. We

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Speaker 1: have the mail bag on Sunday, so there's a lot

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Speaker 1: going on. We're juggling a lot of things here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's been a really good week so far, so time

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Speaker 1: for us to screw that up. Yes, we will end

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Speaker 1: up the podcast here. And now we've been what we've

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Speaker 1: been doing years. The listeners have been saying it's not

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Speaker 1: as much fun when we actually say the bad words.

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Speaker 1: So we've been editing the bad words. That correcting is

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Speaker 1: that the plan. Yes, I would like to thank you

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Speaker 1: and everybody else in the Mallard Militia for adding an

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Speaker 1: extra hour to my work week. So when I say

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Speaker 1: function motherfucker all that you know you hear that? That

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Speaker 1: that that like I didn't have enough to do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you cook sucker. As Lee Elia said back in the day,

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Speaker 1: all right, So we'll start with this now. Over the

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Speaker 1: past year or so, Danny, things have been pretty topsy turvy.

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Speaker 1: I've lived in three different places. Three had the Mallard

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Speaker 1: mansion that I've been living in, which you visited multiple times. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And then I moved to a temporary uh halfway house

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Speaker 1: halfway house, and then uh and then I moved on

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Speaker 1: to where I live now, which I think will be

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Speaker 1: the final destination. But every time I move, I always

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Speaker 1: think that's the last time I'm gonna move. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you're like that, Danny, but every time I move,

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Speaker 1: I think, well, that's it, I'm not gonna move again.

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Speaker 1: I've I finally found my final spot, and then surprise, surprise,

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Speaker 1: turns out that's not the case. Um. So, So I

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Speaker 1: moved a lot recently, and everything I owned, I own

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Speaker 1: a lot of crap. I picked up a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff over the years. Everything I owned, other than a

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Speaker 1: very small amount of stuff that you need every day,

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Speaker 1: has been in storage ships And even now, after being

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Speaker 1: in the final landing spot for a good amount of time,

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Speaker 1: there's still a lot of stuff that is packed up

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Speaker 1: in boxes and uh. And I also during that time, Danny,

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of mail, listener mail. And while

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Speaker 1: I was able to open some of the listener mail

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Speaker 1: and it was great, I could not open all of

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Speaker 1: the listener mail, and some of it in the the

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Speaker 1: Healter Skelter way that things were going, some of it

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Speaker 1: got placed into one of the storage ships and so

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Speaker 1: so the mail has been sitting there. Some of it's

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Speaker 1: been sitting there for like over a year, some of

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Speaker 1: it a little less than that. And so I was

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Speaker 1: getting emails. Some people are very upset any they're they

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Speaker 1: were like, well, what what's up with that? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I took some time out and h I said you something,

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Speaker 1: and you didn't. You didn't respond, you didn't get it.

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Speaker 1: And I was like and I was like, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a douche. I apologized and uh, and

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Speaker 1: you left it up in all that stuff. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is like how long it takes Arnie Spaniard to receive

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Speaker 1: his mail in Vermont? Yeah, got it on time, you

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Speaker 1: just delayed it yourself. Well yeah, logistically it's a little

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Speaker 1: more complicated. Now I'm doing the show remotely, but that's

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Speaker 1: a different situation. We've been doing that for a couple

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Speaker 1: of years now. I can't believe it's been a couple

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Speaker 1: of years doing this. But while the the anniversary is

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Speaker 1: I believe tomorrow, is that the anniversary of to me, well,

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Speaker 1: it was got a different day. When did When did

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Speaker 1: COVID really a COVID or what we used to call

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Speaker 1: it the coronavirus some old school back in the day.

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Speaker 1: But the the night that I remember, it's one of

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Speaker 1: the nights that you'll remember where you were. Uh, that

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Speaker 1: was I believe the date on that was March March eleven,

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Speaker 1: So it was actually yesterday, was it was on Friday? Um,

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Speaker 1: it was a Wednesday, March eleven, And that was when

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Speaker 1: the last NBA and NHL games were played. That was

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Speaker 1: when Rudy Gobert rubbed the microphone and pretended to cough

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Speaker 1: on it. Yeah. Yeah, And there was that surreal night

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Speaker 1: where they were canceling NBA games. They were telling fans

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Speaker 1: to leave the Oklahoma City Utah Jazz game. I think

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Speaker 1: that was the one. And then and then that like

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Speaker 1: the news came out like Tom Hanks had coronavirus and

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Speaker 1: people like what is that? What is is he gonna die?

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Speaker 1: And so yeah, the anniverse actually was yesterday, March March eleventh.

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Speaker 1: We are exactly what two years in? Right? With two years?

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Speaker 1: Is that? Am I right on this? Yeah, you're right

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Speaker 1: about that. And I think all of us who were

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Speaker 1: on National Sports Radio and went through that whole year

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Speaker 1: deserve some kind of award because not only did we

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Speaker 1: get presented FEMA cards. Remember yes, yes, having in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the night getting pulled over by HP because

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Speaker 1: they're asking what we were doing on the road talk

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Speaker 1: about a freaking ghost town. We heard from lots of people,

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Speaker 1: what are you guys gonna do? What? What in the

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Speaker 1: world are you gonna talk about? You're gonna go down

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Speaker 1: the toilet now because you have no sports to talk about? Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: we were. People were convinced we're gonna go out of business.

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Speaker 1: They were gonna turn out the lots the parties over

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Speaker 1: and that turned out the beach all fake news, it's

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Speaker 1: phony stuff. It didn't happen. None of it happened. And

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Speaker 1: we actually had and I've been with the company since

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Speaker 1: it started Fox Sports Radio well pretty much. I started

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Speaker 1: like two weeks after the net were launched, and it

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Speaker 1: is insane that we had more listeners in a year

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Speaker 1: with no sports the year of when that began COVID

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Speaker 1: a hundred and thirty four days with no professional sports,

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Speaker 1: and yet the listenership was through the roof. It was

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Speaker 1: crazy how many people were listening. And it was like

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Speaker 1: people that used to listen to any that came back

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Speaker 1: that wanted a familiar voice. And then there were people

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Speaker 1: that just stumbled onto the show because they were bored

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Speaker 1: out of their mind and they just wanted to hear

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Speaker 1: somebody talking. Yeah, it turned out to be the opposite

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Speaker 1: of what people thought at first, because all the listeners

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Speaker 1: wanted a comforting voice or a safe space, something that

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Speaker 1: was nice to hear. And a lot of our talk

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Speaker 1: was us trying to not exactly talk about COVID all

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Speaker 1: the time. We had to find lots of interesting topics

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Speaker 1: to talk about. And I remember they had producer meetings

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Speaker 1: like once a week or every other week because Don

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Speaker 1: and Scott were hell bent on you guys, this is

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Speaker 1: where the producers are really gonna step up. We need

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Speaker 1: to not only keep this thing going, but you need

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Speaker 1: to realize that there could possibly be even more ears

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Speaker 1: on the network right now because a lot of people

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Speaker 1: have more free time on their hands right now, and

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Speaker 1: that's exactly what wound up happening. Everybody's podcast numbers went

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Speaker 1: through the roof, and the live listenership almost doubled at

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Speaker 1: a time when people thought it was gonna go out

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Speaker 1: of business. Yeah, it was crazy what was going on there.

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Speaker 1: And one of my favorite monologues that I will remember

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Speaker 1: when I get out of radio when I'm dead. I

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Speaker 1: probably don't remember when I'm dead, But I did a

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Speaker 1: monologue on marble racing. I did. I did an entire

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Speaker 1: monologue of fifteen minute monologue on marble racing. And I

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Speaker 1: was really I was watching this on YouTube. What about

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Speaker 1: a nine year old girl? That was my sports I

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Speaker 1: was like betting on I would pick a marble. I

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Speaker 1: always picked the blue marble, and then I would why

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Speaker 1: and I would watching try in my head, I was,

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Speaker 1: I was wagering and whatnot, and and it was new

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Speaker 1: to me because I had never really gotten into the

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Speaker 1: sport of marble racing. And you know, it was a tremendous,

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Speaker 1: tremendous thing. A side felt man. I was watching NASCAR

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Speaker 1: drivers pretend like they were driving Nascars. They were on

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Speaker 1: their simulators. I don't know if you remember that, you know,

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Speaker 1: yes I do? They Yes, yes, they were remember they

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Speaker 1: had that weird what I think it might be in ESPN.

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Speaker 1: They did that thing that shooting like a game of

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Speaker 1: horse or something like. They did like a contest, but

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Speaker 1: everyone was in a different city and they were like

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Speaker 1: in their backyard, and it was like it was really weird,

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Speaker 1: really weird. This is a time that people are definitely

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Speaker 1: gonna try to explain to their kids later down the road.

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Speaker 1: I think about the kindergarteners that I work with and

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Speaker 1: what they're gonna remember a out this with the masks

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Speaker 1: and all the restrictions and all the extra rules, and

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Speaker 1: they're gonna celebrate and go nuts next Monday, Ben, because Monday,

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Speaker 1: those little kids finally get to rip those masks off. Freedom.

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Speaker 1: Freedom for the kids, freedom for the fact the fact

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Speaker 1: that they have to wait there to wait longer though

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Speaker 1: so stupid. The bureaucracy that is involved in all this

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Speaker 1: is so ridiculous to me. But it's gonna be great.

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Speaker 1: There'll be tons of videos online of kids screaming and

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Speaker 1: shouting and celebrating, jumping up and down like they won

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Speaker 1: the Super Bowl. Yeah, just like that video we saw

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Speaker 1: a few weeks ago from Las Vegas. So so anyway,

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Speaker 1: I didn't even realize, like a look at that, I didn't.

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Speaker 1: It passed me by the story I was going to tell.

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Speaker 1: So the mail has been all over the place, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like a total schmuck and I'm finally getting

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Speaker 1: taught up, and I've been going through the mail. I

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Speaker 1: think I've gone through pretty much all of it at

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Speaker 1: this point. There might be one or two things that

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Speaker 1: haven't gone through. But it turns out several listeners sent

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Speaker 1: me some really cool gifts and uh and very unique,

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Speaker 1: very special. One of those listeners I wanted to highlight

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Speaker 1: here Danny Robbie from Dublin, California in then no calp

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Speaker 1: Bay Area guy Bubblin and Dublin. Yeah, Bubblin in Dublin

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Speaker 1: with Robbie and he's he's in the Bay Are. He's

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Speaker 1: a super fan of the show. He wrote me a

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Speaker 1: nice letter. I know we're on the podcast, but you

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Speaker 1: can see Danny, I hold that up there very long.

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Speaker 1: See that very nice. That's a handwritten, that's not typed out.

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Speaker 1: This is a yeah, this is amazing writing. Racist. I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed by the writing because my writing is like

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Speaker 1: horrific chicken scratch compared to compared to this anyway. So

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Speaker 1: Robbie is a big fan of show. He's been listening.

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Speaker 1: He's listening to me since even before Fox Sports. Rade. Uh.

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Speaker 1: He he stumbled on some of my bull crap and

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Speaker 1: he says he grew up in India. Now I don't

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Speaker 1: know how much of this he wants me to read

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Speaker 1: on the ear or not, and so I don't know

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Speaker 1: that I should read more. But he he sent me

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Speaker 1: a really nice message. He gave me his email address

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Speaker 1: up but the handwritten note as I showed you amazing

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Speaker 1: And so without getting into too much personal stuff, I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to thank Robbie. I know he listens to

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Speaker 1: this podcast. He has sent emails in the past ripping me,

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Speaker 1: uh and and rightfully, so he's not wrong on that

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Speaker 1: at all. And he was absolutely correct on that, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: open it up. But I finally got around to it.

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Speaker 1: So thank you, Robbie. The gift spectacular he gave me, Eddie.

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Speaker 1: He gave me the Woody I got, the I got.

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Speaker 1: I could I call you Eddie? By the way, I

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Speaker 1: think I just did uh bad job by me. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: Ken Mallard. But did he gave me Danny? He gave

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Speaker 1: me the woody just ram it. There's a handmade charcoutter reboard.

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Speaker 1: Is that is that? Yeah, charkuckoo cucudery. Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: fun word to say. RACUDERI I think he's actual say

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Speaker 1: so it includes Now there's a I'm looking at here.

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Speaker 1: It's got a knife made out of wood. There is

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Speaker 1: a name plate with obviously my name on it, damn.

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Speaker 1: And he says that the walnut here came Robbie says,

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Speaker 1: came from a tree that was cut down in nineteen

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Speaker 1: fifty two in Ohio. The maple came from a Christmas

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Speaker 1: fair in San Francisco in nine nine. And so this

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Speaker 1: is really this is really nice. It's very special, very unique.

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Speaker 1: I've gotten a few unique things over the years, but

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Speaker 1: this is right up there with any of them. And

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Speaker 1: so thank you Robbie. And even though you're a Hegantes fan,

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Speaker 1: you're on You're on the nice list. You're not on

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Speaker 1: the Nauti list. You're on the nice list. So so

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Speaker 1: thank you for that. Really really cool. I thought that

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Speaker 1: was that was pretty neat to send that, and uh,

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Speaker 1: he and his buddy made that very very cool. So

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Speaker 1: thank you, and that will that will be used. Not

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Speaker 1: by me though, Danny. I don't know what you put

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Speaker 1: cheese on a charcuterie boarder that what you do what

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Speaker 1: my wife knows what to do with that. Yeah, different meats,

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Speaker 1: different cheese, different fruits. So it can be like when

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Speaker 1: you went to Arby's. What's the slogan of Arby's We've

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Speaker 1: got the meats or something like that, we have the meat,

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Speaker 1: we have the meats. So I could put that out

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Speaker 1: that we have the meats. It's just like that, and

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Speaker 1: I'll scream that. People look at me like a monk

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Speaker 1: lunatic anyway, So thank you Rabbi again and anyone else.

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Speaker 1: If I didn't open, I didn't get your your gift,

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Speaker 1: I apologize for if I didn't respond or whatever. But

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Speaker 1: I I think I've gone through everything. That's a very

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Speaker 1: very cool things, some hats and some other things. Nice cards. Uh,

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Speaker 1: Rachel Almonta Bello sent me a nice card a couple

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Speaker 1: other people, so that was pretty cool. So I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: So thank you for that. Now. Pivoting away from that thing,

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Speaker 1: Mallard Motorcade last weekend for the second consecutive weekend, decided

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Speaker 1: let me live my life now. The weekend before I

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Speaker 1: went to Vegas and had a fine time. Uh And

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Speaker 1: this was more of a la last minute thing, little

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Speaker 1: last minute Roady and I packed up the mallarmobile and

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Speaker 1: me and the wife we headed We headed out. Now,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's only so many ways you can go

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Speaker 1: here the Mallard GPS. You can only you can't go

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Speaker 1: west because you need a boat, so you can't do that.

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Speaker 1: You you can go south, but if you go too

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Speaker 1: far you're in Mexico. And you can go north, and

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Speaker 1: you can go obviously east. So we set the GPS

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Speaker 1: to go uh north mallormobile and I figured might as

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Speaker 1: well get one last road trip in before it becomes

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Speaker 1: cost prohibited. You would go on the road. The financial

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Speaker 1: burden we we we knew the price of gas with

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Speaker 1: Sleepy Joe and all those people that that that the

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Speaker 1: price of gas be like nine dollars a gallon ten

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Speaker 1: dollars a gallon in a couple of weeks. And uh

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Speaker 1: so we we decided to go on a little road trip.

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Speaker 1: And we did not have our part pontoon boat, or

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Speaker 1: we would have gone out in the Pacific, the Mighty Pacific.

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Speaker 1: But we didn't do that, and so we we sent

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Speaker 1: the GPS up and we had it was really the

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Speaker 1: Mallard Motor Kid though, because we had a convoy Dad.

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Speaker 1: It's exciting here. And my cousin she she moved out

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Speaker 1: like last year from she'd been living in Houston and

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Speaker 1: she moved to the area. And it's like her and

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Speaker 1: like one other person I know that are related to me.

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Speaker 1: Everyone else I know, the entire family, they're either dead

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Speaker 1: or they moved east. So I don't have any really family,

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Speaker 1: you know, my on my side of the family, so

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Speaker 1: I don't really have anybody. So she's like my my cousin,

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Speaker 1: you know where we grew up in the same neighborhood,

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Speaker 1: close and so she's you know, she's married, she got

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Speaker 1: kids and not. So she packed up her car and

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Speaker 1: her with her husband and the kids and they joined

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Speaker 1: the Mallard Motor Kid. Uh. Yeah. We we went up

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Speaker 1: the California coast there through Ventura into Santa Barbara, passed

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Speaker 1: through Buleton, stopped in Solving, and uh I got Solving

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Speaker 1: usually once a year. I like, it's a little town.

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Speaker 1: How do you describe Solving. It's like a Danish town,

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Speaker 1: Like a little Danish town. Yeah, a lot of people

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Speaker 1: know it as the Danish village. Yeah, of course, the

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Speaker 1: windmill is famous from the movie Sideways. Yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: cool little town. And the mission on this was just

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Speaker 1: gluttony because I've been fasting, so I ended my fasting style.

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Speaker 1: There's this little place that serves like Ruben sandwiches there.

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Speaker 1: I forget the name of it. I plug, but they

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Speaker 1: have poutine, not putin poutine, and so I had some poutine.

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Speaker 1: I love poutine. That's pretty good. Ruben sandwich is solid.

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Speaker 1: And then we headed out there and we had we

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Speaker 1: had the the most popular Danish dessert. You know what

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Speaker 1: you've been to Solving, I'm sure over the years, right,

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Speaker 1: you know what the most popular Solving dessert is. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure I've had it before. It's called able skeever little

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Speaker 1: like it just like doughnut balls adults, and they're covered

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Speaker 1: in the ones. I had had strawberry sauce on and

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Speaker 1: like they're supposed to be like a big Danish dessert.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe they made that up. Oh. I've

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Speaker 1: been to the bakeries there in Solvang, and let's just

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Speaker 1: say when you leave there, you come out feeling about

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Speaker 1: ten pounds heavy. Year. Yeah, it's one of those places

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Speaker 1: where you have like your belt buckle and you have

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Speaker 1: to kind of stretch it out a little bit and

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Speaker 1: you have to kind of it's like a holiday for

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Speaker 1: fat people there in Solvang. Yeah, there's really nothing else

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Speaker 1: to do other than eat or buy trinkets. Like they

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Speaker 1: have a bunch of if you want anything made out

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Speaker 1: of glass or uh, ceramic, and they have that like

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Speaker 1: little windmills would say Solvang on it. Do you want

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Speaker 1: to sweatshirt? You can get that. Also clock clock like

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Speaker 1: that's right, not clocks that are very pricey. It's for

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Speaker 1: old people, but chicks like it. So you take if

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Speaker 1: you take a woman to the Danish village, she will

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Speaker 1: look at you with some big eyes and you will

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Speaker 1: get lucky. Yeah, you get some some cloud when you

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Speaker 1: can afterwards. Yes, absolutely so. Its bone appetite was delicious.

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Speaker 1: But then we were like, wait a minute, we gotta

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Speaker 1: keep going. We're not going to stop at Salvan, come

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Speaker 1: on out the California coast, head north due north. So

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Speaker 1: we kept going, got back on the Mallard motorcade and

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Speaker 1: I stopped off at the Costco in Santa Maria to

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Speaker 1: refill the gas just making sure they didn't raise the

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Speaker 1: price from the last time I got gas. So I

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Speaker 1: filled up in Santa Maria. There at the Costco, beautiful Costco.

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Speaker 1: There's never a line. I always whenever I go up

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Speaker 1: to California Coas, I always stopped there. Never a line.

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Speaker 1: It's the only Costco I've been to with no line.

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Speaker 1: Every other Costco is a million million cars, no line.

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Speaker 1: It's wonderful. And they got every kind of like chain

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Speaker 1: restaurant you could possibly want in Santa Maria. Anything you need,

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Speaker 1: any chain, they're all there. So I filled up, headed

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Speaker 1: up to Saint Louis ABYSSPO destination Madonna In. Uh yeah,

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Speaker 1: Madonna In, which is halfway between San Francisco and Los Angeles,

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Speaker 1: right off Highway one on one, the famous Highway one

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Speaker 1: on one. Now was I staying there, Danny? Did I did?

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Speaker 1: I said to spend the night there? No? No. Did

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Speaker 1: you go into the diner? Yes? Yes, And I've been

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Speaker 1: there before. We've talked about Madonna and before you run

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. Now I go there usually once a year.

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Speaker 1: Also because you know, the wife is a big fan

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Speaker 1: of the Madonna In and so this place. The way

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Speaker 1: I described the Madonna into people that have never seen

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Speaker 1: at this hotel. It's like if and this is an

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Speaker 1: outdated reference. Liberaci, the late pianist Liberati, I think died

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Speaker 1: in the eighties, so that's a really outdated reference. But Liberati,

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Speaker 1: this over the topic centric pianist. If he had designed that.

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Speaker 1: And and then you mix in like I imagine the

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Speaker 1: sopranos or like Frank Sinatra, you know, getting together there

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Speaker 1: and it dates to the nineteen fifties. It's so over

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Speaker 1: the top, eccentric and all that. And but my wife

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Speaker 1: loves that. She has to go there and she likes

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Speaker 1: to collect. They have these glass uh, these special glass

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Speaker 1: that they're not really their cups, but they're more than

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Speaker 1: just cups there. Oh yeah, I bought my Tenderoni a

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Speaker 1: couple of those when we visited. They have the blue one,

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Speaker 1: the pink one. Yes, you have a gift shop, and

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Speaker 1: right next to the gift shop, ben the men's bathroom

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Speaker 1: you picked into a waterfall. Yes, And let me tell you,

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Speaker 1: I spent some time in that in that bathroom with

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Speaker 1: the Pitts waterfall, and there were a lot of dudes

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Speaker 1: coming in. They didn't know what to do. They were

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Speaker 1: like they were like should we. I mean, this seems

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Speaker 1: like this is not really because it doesn't. It seems

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Speaker 1: like you shouldn't do that, like you're not supposed but

390
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 1: then you're there's nowhere else to do it, you gotta

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Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, And I don't know what's in the

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Speaker 1: women's bathroom. I'n't been in there, but yeah, that's a

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Speaker 1: wild bathroom. They have just like high end restaurant. And

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Speaker 1: then they have like a diner. And so we went

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Speaker 1: to the diner and me and that my my, you know,

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Speaker 1: the family, the cousins and the kids and all that stuff,

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Speaker 1: and we went and said we needed more gorgeous. We

398
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 1: needed to pick out more, and so we headed over

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Speaker 1: to the restaurant. They have this pink champagne cake. I'm

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Speaker 1: a I'm a sucker for frosting on cake. I love

401
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: frosting on it and that's my favorite part of it.

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Speaker 1: And so they have really good frosting and so I

403
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Speaker 1: had we had a big piece of that thing. It's

404
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 1: like ten dollars to slice my gut. It's either that

405
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: or a gallon of gasoline. But it was fluffy, creamy goodness,

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Speaker 1: and uh, you know, it was wonderful. And then that

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Speaker 1: was it. We headed back on the the late night

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Speaker 1: Express back to l A. Stopped at Fat sALS on

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Speaker 1: the way back, and then that was it. So it

410
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Speaker 1: sounds like a very fat adventure. Yeah, I felt like

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Speaker 1: porky pig. I then did not eat for the next

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Speaker 1: two days after that to make up the loss. I

413
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: figured I ate so much that day, I can take

414
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Speaker 1: a couple of days off and I didn't need for

415
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Speaker 1: two days. So it was fun, you know, I like

416
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Speaker 1: to everyone was a while. If if I had more

417
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Speaker 1: time off on the weekends, I just go up to

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Speaker 1: San Francisco and hang out. Maybe not now because people

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Speaker 1: pooping on the street. I can go to l A

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Speaker 1: if I want to see that. I don't even go

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Speaker 1: to San Francisco for that. But anyway, So the gift

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Speaker 1: that keeps giving, Danny g we move on because there

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00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 1: is better content ahead here. The gift that keeps giving.

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00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 1: What is this all about? Daddy might get a little

425
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:31,959
Speaker 1: uh NC seventeen here? Yeah, get my buzzer ready. Yeah.

426
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 1: And in fact, I asked my tender Roni last night.

427
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: I said, could you please write it out for me?

428
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: Like almost Yelp style, write a Yelp review of this

429
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: place I'm gonna talk about. And she's like, I don't

430
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: want to do that. It's gonna be like porn, And

431
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 1: I said, hey, that's perfect for the podcast. It was

432
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: just a swingers club where we're looking at here, what

433
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: do we got here? This past Christmas, I was trying

434
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: to get things for her stocking because she she had

435
00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:00,679
Speaker 1: mentioned to me that over the years, her kids always

436
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: got really cool stocking stuffers and hers would always just

437
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: be empty. Yeah, you know, and that's the plight of

438
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: a parent, right, Yeah, Okay, Well, let me flip the

439
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 1: script and I'll actually put some things in her dumb

440
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: stocking so that she has something to open as well.

441
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: And you know, up to the last minute, I couldn't

442
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 1: figure out what to put in her stocking. I got

443
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,679
Speaker 1: really good gifts, but I'm like, damn it, what can

444
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: I put in the stocking. I'm like, okay, think about

445
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 1: what she really likes. Resorts, Like any girl, massages, bingo.

446
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find a massage place here locally, get a certificate,

447
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: and I'll put that in the stocking. She'll love that. Yeah,

448
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: that makes sense. And so did you did you find

449
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: the orchids of Asia day spas? That the pay off

450
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: on this is that so I go to Yelp like

451
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: any good consumer, and I read real life reviews unless

452
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: half of them aren't. And you know, but I found

453
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: some good reviews with real pictures there. I could tell

454
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: which ones are real, which ones are fake? What's the secret?

455
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: How can you tell? Because it's very difficult on the

456
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: internet to tell, and they all look most of them

457
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 1: are the ones that are like overly kiss ass and

458
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: there's no real life photos. You can tell that's somebody

459
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 1: that has something to do with the owner of the place. Generally,

460
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: I've heard there's services that will actually do that if

461
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 1: you get the businesses. You're not supposed to do this

462
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: as taboo, but there's companies that you can hire. Two

463
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: flood these different web you know, the review websites with

464
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 1: positive reviews. Yeah, but you could get an overall view

465
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: of a place. If there are three or four one

466
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: star reviews all in a row and they all kind

467
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 1: of agree that this place sucks. You can tell from

468
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 1: a glance, okay, this this place is kind of trouble

469
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,159
Speaker 1: and vice versa. So I kind of know what to

470
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 1: look at with Yelp. I've used it for a long time.

471
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: So I'm looking at all these different massage places and

472
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 1: there is one that it did have an Asian name,

473
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: but a lot of them do. It's in a good

474
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 1: part of town, and the reviews were nice. It's not

475
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: some shady place that gentlemen like Deshaun Watson visit, as

476
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 1: far as I could see. So I go there. I

477
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: call them. They're open for another hour. And this is

478
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,640
Speaker 1: like going into Christmas Eve. A lot of places were closing. Perfect.

479
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: I'll be there. I'm gonna pick up a gift certificate.

480
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: Go in. It's a nice, decent looking place. It's in

481
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: a good part of town. Like I said, they give

482
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 1: me a certificate for one hour deep tissue massage. A

483
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 1: Swedish deep tissue massage, all right, So I put it

484
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: in her stocking. She loved it when she was taking

485
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: her things out of the stocking. But of course she

486
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 1: needs to call and, um, you know, schedule an appointment. Yeah. Well,

487
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: it took all the way into March for her to

488
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: do that. And I kept asking her when are you

489
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: gonna get that massage? Because you know, I'm busy. I

490
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: can't do it right now. Let's have someone else do

491
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: it for you. So she schedules. She yeah, stupid schedule.

492
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: So she schedules it for this past week and I'm

493
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 1: like cool. Afterwards she comes out, I text her, I'm like,

494
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 1: how is the massage? And I get the cryptic I'll

495
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: tell you about it when I get home and see

496
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: you in person. And I'm like, that's not good, you know,

497
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: because I was expecting her to come out on cloud nine,

498
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: thank you, you're the best. You were fishing for a compliment, right,

499
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 1: You were expecting her to say, O hoesf we. I

500
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: really didn't because I didn't even ask a question. I

501
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 1: just said, I hope it was good. You deserve a massage,

502
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 1: It's all I said. But usually if a woman comes

503
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 1: out of a massage, she's gonna be glowing on her own. Yeah.

504
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: Well she wasn't, though. She's like, I got to talk

505
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: to you about this in person. And all of us

506
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 1: dudes know, if a woman tells you that something about

507
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,119
Speaker 1: to go down or you're in trouble, it's not usually

508
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,199
Speaker 1: good when a woman says, I'm gonna talk to you

509
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,880
Speaker 1: about it in person, no, because he's normally they can't

510
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 1: wait to tell you, and right, it's good news if

511
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: it's bad news, then it's like, yeah, I'll wait on

512
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 1: out here. Ben. She gets home and tells me about

513
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: the experience, and I'm losing my mind. I cannot believe

514
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 1: what happened. What happened? So let's in the box. What happened?

515
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 1: What's in it? She goes in. She said everything was fine,

516
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 1: and she said they were burning incense in the lobby

517
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: and it seemed like a really cool place. They take

518
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: her in. The Asian gal that brought her in, look,

519
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: she said, did look a little stout like, kind of buff.

520
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: So she was like, well, I am gonna get a

521
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: deep tissue massage. It looks like so this lady Ben

522
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: pulls her underwear down, which she was not expecting. Uh,

523
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: jumps up onto the massage table, straddles my girl, sits

524
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: on my girl's rare end, is going to town on

525
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: her and and was kept slapping her, even slapped her ass.

526
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: My girl did not know what to do. She said.

527
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: It was one of those moments in life where you wonder,

528
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: am I enjoying this? Or is this really strange? What

529
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: massage is that? That's what I asked her. I said,

530
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: how is that a Swedish massage? And she said, I

531
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,600
Speaker 1: don't know. I was really confused, she said. While this

532
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 1: lady was straddling her and massaging her, she was also

533
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: speaking very strangely in another language and making noises as

534
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: she was doing it, so it was like she was

535
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: enjoying it more than my girl was. Wow, she's making

536
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 1: strange noises. She's almost hurting her. What about a pressure

537
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 1: she's putting on her? And now she asked her, you

538
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: want hot stone, ten dollars extra hot stone, throw hot

539
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: rocks at you? What is that? So my Tinderni says, sure, okay.

540
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: Then so she puts the hot stones on her back,

541
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: and my TINDERRONI said, honestly, it was a nice break

542
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: from this lady slapping and hitting me and pushing on

543
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 1: me too hard. So she's laying there with the hot rocks.

544
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: But then the massus takes a hot rock and sticks

545
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: it in her ass. Crack whoa, whoa. Oh yeah, so man,

546
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: she felt violated. It's just like an S and M

547
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: type situation. Here. What do we got going on? I'll

548
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 1: tell you after I go next week. Oh yeah, I'm

549
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:04,479
Speaker 1: trying up for a monthly membership here. Yeah. So also

550
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: when this lady was done, after this very strange. Uh,

551
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: rape massage a massage. Yeah. She looked at her and

552
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 1: said finished. She didn't ring a bell, like, yeah, I

553
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: got done. Here we go, ring the ring the victory bell.

554
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: By the way, she was always she was also pushing

555
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: on the side of my girl's chest and kind of

556
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: cupping her breasts. And after she after she would do that,

557
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: she would tell her this, okay, this okay, wow. Yeah,

558
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: and my girls like you're doing it already. What does

559
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,719
Speaker 1: it matter what I say right now? Well, Deshaun Watson

560
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: is probably like, good me give me that number right there.

561
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 1: They come on, hook me up on that. My goodness.

562
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: She massaged her but for ten minutes, man, and then

563
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: she didn't have to pay extra for that. She is Wow.

564
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: You should have saw how fast she ran to the

565
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: shower when she got home. Yeah. He's like, I feel

566
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: like I need a shower and a cigarette shower first.

567
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: And so she was like where did you send me?

568
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: What did you tell this lady I needed? No? I

569
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: was like, no, I swear the yelp reviews were good.

570
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: That's wild. That is crazy, man. Yeah, now we know

571
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: why the yelp reviews were good. Yeah, that was and

572
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: that was out near you, and that's part of the

573
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: l A. Yeah, right on the border of the San

574
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: Fernando Valley in Ventura County. Hit me up in my

575
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: d M S. I'll give you the name of the place.

576
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: You can get a lot of you a lot of

577
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: messages here, Danny. What's what's this all about? Man? I

578
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: just feel bad because I wasn't there. I know that

579
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: could have really been You could have recorded the whole thing.

580
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: That could have been big on the internet. That would

581
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,959
Speaker 1: have been massive. Man, all right, well that is the

582
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 1: gift that she now. Is she okay to go back

583
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: and get him? And said out at that place? But

584
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 1: is she or is this gonna like affect her for massages?

585
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: From knowledge she can be like anti massage. I don't know.

586
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: She was so confused about it all night long. It

587
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: was funny because when she was in the shower I

588
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: heard her bust out laughing. What did the hell is

589
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: she laughing about? In the shower? And then when she

590
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: came out she told me, oh my God, like certain

591
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 1: things about the massage keep coming back. She had already

592
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: planned on picking up Panda Express for us for dinner

593
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: after her massage, so now she didn't know what to

594
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 1: do because she has PTSD or PTS massage. Ye, yes, man,

595
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: that's crazy. So what do you think you have? Do

596
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: you think the well, if you go to you know,

597
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: a high end spa, they do the thing where they

598
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 1: tuck the the clean sheet by your butt and they

599
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: don't go down there. Now there's two I got two

600
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: things in my head you think. Number one is you

601
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: somehow paid for the most rot massage you can get.

602
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: That's number one. Number two is maybe this masseuse like

603
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 1: I saw your your TENDERNI there and kind of our Wait,

604
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: I like this, Maybe I'm into this. Yeah, I'll I'll

605
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: handle this one. I'll throw in some some extra goodies here.

606
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: She does have a nice but maybe that, maybe that

607
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,240
Speaker 1: could be it right. Maybe they're like, hey, wait a minute,

608
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: I got this one. I got this one flattering, but

609
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: wait until we do a couple's massage at your place. Man.

610
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: All right, well that is the gift that keeps giving

611
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: And Danny will be doing commercials for them on the

612
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 1: podcast coming up next week the name out and it

613
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: will be absolutely wonderful. We don't have a lot of time,

614
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 1: but I did want to get to the the back

615
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 1: scratching which is nothing related to what you have going

616
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: on over there at that massage place. So we have

617
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: been saying we we have been trying to get people

618
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:57,319
Speaker 1: to shamelessly promote the podcast, the Fifth Hour podcast, and

619
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: we've been asking people to post reviews on the Apple

620
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: podcast page. We've been asking for and the last couple

621
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 1: of weeks we've had people answer the bell and it's

622
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 1: been great. Uh, that streak has ended, Danny, that streak

623
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: has ended. Uh, it's you know, you scratch our back,

624
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 1: We scratch your back, but we have no one's back

625
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: to scratch. We did get on the Mallard Show page.

626
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: We got a couple of reviews, but those were not

627
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: for the this podcast. Yeah, some people get confused by

628
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 1: what the park so I'm not sure what. But Twizzle

629
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: Twizzle wrote in some doc Mike thing and then uh,

630
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: fur Dog reviewed the radio show and he said pretty

631
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: pretty good. He give the Larry David review. But we

632
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: want the Fifth Hour page. So that's what we need

633
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: and you know, if you can help us out, we

634
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 1: will read your comments on the air. Oh I also

635
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: wanted to mention I just remember this so I had

636
00:35:54,239 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: a crazy, crazy uh time on Cameo been doing these

637
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,959
Speaker 1: cameos for several years. I don't promote it that much,

638
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 1: and it's really for the super fans of the show,

639
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: like the big p ones that want a special Mallar

640
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: milogue was some kind of special message for them. And

641
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: so I've been, I've been. I've got a few of them.

642
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool. People getting married and things like that,

643
00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: or I just want to pep talk. And so I

644
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: got a request. And I don't know that I want

645
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: to name this person because I don't know they want

646
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 1: me to name them. But someone who's high ranking in

647
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: the Malamal issue has been with me a long time,

648
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: is a big part of the show and has helped

649
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: promote the show across the country, has advertised the show

650
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 1: across the country. So this particular person wanted me to

651
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 1: do a special cameo to promote the fact that their

652
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: their kid, that the team had had been very successful.

653
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: And so I agreed to do it, like I have

654
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: a choice. And so I did it, and and I

655
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:56,840
Speaker 1: did a little message and all that stuff. And so

656
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: then I get another message, Hey, wait a minute, I

657
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: left some kids name out because he I mean to

658
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,280
Speaker 1: do like a roll call the name name the kids

659
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: and so I guess I he had sent me the

660
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 1: wrong list. So he said, I'm gonna get another one.

661
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get another cameo, and then I want you

662
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: to correct it. And so I said, okay, I'll do it.

663
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: And so so then he sent me the list and

664
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: then I did the cameo. And now this time, Danny,

665
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: I guess I I fucked up. I screwed up the cameo.

666
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: I didn't get all the names, and I just assumed

667
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: there was only one more name, and they were like

668
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: two more names. So now he sends a third request.

669
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: So now I've done three of these things. And I

670
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: did get it right the third, third, and final time,

671
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 1: but we had to do three takes. He was very

672
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: good hearted about it and all that stuff, but I

673
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: had to do three takes on that, and I don't

674
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: know if the kid enjoyed it or not. I hope,

675
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: I hope the kids did. By the time it was

676
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 1: the third one, the kids like, I'm sick of this guy.

677
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: I was like, this is great. If I keep effing

678
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: this up, he'll keep you be more cameos coming and

679
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: this is a this is amazing here. But but no,

680
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 1: I was it was his mistake. That it was my mistake,

681
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 1: and then we we righted the ship and I am

682
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: over there on Cameo if you want to, if you

683
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,399
Speaker 1: want to check me out, I have not raised my press. Sure,

684
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 1: I raised my price because of inflation. Everything else is

685
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: getting more expensive. I have not done that in a while. No,

686
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: you should go the other direction to get cheaper. I

687
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: don't know about that. I got in trouble with Cameo, sir.

688
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: I'm not handed out here, I'm not lying. So I

689
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: feel very guilty. When people buy these cameos. I try

690
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 1: to personalize them as much as I can, and a

691
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 1: lot of times people will send me kind of vague details,

692
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: so I don't have a lot to work with, which

693
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: makes it very difficult. The degree of difficulties very high,

694
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: because you know, I know a little bit about some

695
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 1: of the people that call the show are right into

696
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 1: the show, but I don't know that much, and so

697
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: it becomes very difficult. But I spent a lot of

698
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: time I trump with these things together. And so I

699
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: got an angry email from Cameo because they were having

700
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 1: trouble uploading the cameos that I was doing because they

701
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: were too long, and they they They were very polite

702
00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: about it, but they were like, hey, you know, the

703
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: average person, the average celebrity does a cameo, it's like

704
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: thirty seconds to a minute, and I'm doing seven minutes

705
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 1: of content doing monologue. I'm doing monolo. I'm doing literally

706
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: a month now. I've had to cut I've had to

707
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: cut that back because they got upset. But I still

708
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 1: try to do four or five minutes. I try to

709
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 1: do it around then, sometimes a little shorter, sometimes it

710
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 1: will be longer. Yeah, but I got in trouble for that.

711
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: I was like, really, you're gonna It's like, I can

712
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: see why, just because the soup Nazi over from the

713
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 1: Seinfeld shows doing thirty seconds shoutout, and I can't do longer.

714
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: I can't go longer. What's up with that? It's not

715
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: right anyway. Any to promote Danny, any comedy gigs, anything

716
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 1: coming up here at all, anything and you want to promote, well,

717
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,479
Speaker 1: It'll be a full day at FSR for me. I'll

718
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: be there with Steve Hartman and Jeff Schwartz and then

719
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: after that the great Brian No and he from Salam who,

720
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 1: by the way, what is he from gonna do? Now?

721
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 1: With some of the mask requirements being lifted. This guy

722
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 1: walks into the studio wearing the visor, you know, the

723
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:57,760
Speaker 1: face shield to end masks. He sprays an entire can

724
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: of lysol and one of us are are allowed to

725
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 1: go into his on air studio? Is that right? Well?

726
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: And Brian no, He does his part of the show remotely.

727
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: There was one week where Brian told him at the

728
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: end of the show, Hey, just so you know, I'm

729
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,839
Speaker 1: gonna be on a flight to l a X, I'm

730
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 1: gonna be in town next week. I'm probably gonna come

731
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 1: into the studio for the show next weekend, and just

732
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 1: straight faced from told him, well, I don't know where

733
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 1: you're gonna be broadcasting the parking garage. You ain't coming

734
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 1: in here. Really, that's wild. But you know, you see

735
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: this and you wonder, at what point now that society

736
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: has pretty much opened up again, even like the People's

737
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 1: Republic of California where we work out of, there's there's

738
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 1: very few masks anymore. At what point there's always gonna

739
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: be those stragglers that five years from now, ten years

740
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: from now, they'll be the mask people that are still

741
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: gonna be there living their best COVID times and it's

742
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: just gonna be the way it is. And it's like

743
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 1: when I when I was growing up, my parents hoarded

744
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: food and because they grew up as children of parents

745
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: who were part of the depression, and so for my mom,

746
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 1: she always needed to have like as much as possible

747
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: in the garage, just in case, just in case. So

748
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: I think like for our generation, for the people you

749
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: know around our age, it's going to be the mask thing. Yeah,

750
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 1: the deal. Yeah, it will always have an extra package

751
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: of masks in our glove box, hand sanitizer. Yeah, and yeah,

752
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: there's there will definitely be lasting things which I think

753
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,760
Speaker 1: will help though, because you know, none of us like germs,

754
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: none of us like other people coughing in our face.

755
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 1: Hopefully some of the sloppiness from the past were people

756
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,919
Speaker 1: that were too sloppy with health. Some of that has

757
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: gotten cleaned up now well. As I told him, I

758
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: think it was last week's podcast when I went to

759
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 1: uh to Vegas and I stopped off. I don't know

760
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,320
Speaker 1: if I told it on the air, and but I

761
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: was at a bathroom, a rest stop bath room, and

762
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: it was as disgusting as anything you could possibly imagine.

763
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 1: So the idea that human beings are going to uh

764
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: not be complete pigs uh And I I don't believe

765
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: in that. I think humans are gonna human and part

766
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: of being human, there's a certain percentage that don't clean

767
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: up about theirselves. They need their moms to follow them around.

768
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: And unfortunately, when you get to become an adult, your

769
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 1: mom doesn't fall you around. It's problematic. Damn it, Well

770
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,800
Speaker 1: we could dream. Not everybody gets a clean butt. Crack

771
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 1: from the Asian mystic got to mention that when she

772
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 1: was done, she took a towel in her privates and

773
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: ran it back and forth. She was cleaning out her

774
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:46,400
Speaker 1: able cavity like she's washing a car. Very nice. Uh. Anyway,

775
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: all right, I have a great rest, and you're Saturday.

776
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: I got the mail bag. We just ended the show

777
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: with the word an All well, we'll knock it out

778
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:58,279
Speaker 1: of the mailback sunny. See it gotta murder. I gotta

779
00:42:58,320 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: go