1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:35,560
Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional profession. Hey,

2
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,879
Speaker 1: Professional home Girls is the kid of a name from

3
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,599
Speaker 1: the PSD podcast, the only place where you would hear

4
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,839
Speaker 1: interviews from black women an honestly on stories that will

5
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,839
Speaker 1: enlighten and expand on taboo topics. Now, if you hear

6
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,920
Speaker 1: someone that sounds familiar, mind the business that pays you child.

7
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,120
Speaker 1: If you like the PhD podcast, please rate, review and

8
00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:57,200
Speaker 1: subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Please five star reviews only hold

9
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,200
Speaker 1: me down, don't hold me up. Merchants now enveloped on

10
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,280
Speaker 1: the site as well as my book list, so please

11
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,320
Speaker 1: make sure you visit the link in the show notes below.

12
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:06,920
Speaker 1: You can connect with the kid on Instagram at the

13
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,600
Speaker 1: Professional Homegirl and at the PhD podcast. If you are

14
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,240
Speaker 1: on Twitter, please follow me at the PhD podcast Now.

15
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,360
Speaker 1: If you are all caught up with episode, listen to

16
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,720
Speaker 1: the bonus episodes by supporting the PSD podcast Patreon account.

17
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,639
Speaker 1: To support, please visit www dot patreon dot com. Forward

18
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,160
Speaker 1: slash the PSD podcast now. Please keep in mind that

19
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,360
Speaker 1: all of my guests are nonnes So let's again this

20
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:37,360
Speaker 1: week's episode. So I am super excited about this week's

21
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 1: episode as I we will be speaking to my girl,

22
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,800
Speaker 1: the founder of Black Girl Bliss, about her third book,

23
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,720
Speaker 1: Power Unleash and You're divine, dark, feminine for wild women

24
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,120
Speaker 1: of color. To my guests, how are you doing? I'm good?

25
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,640
Speaker 1: How are you? All? Is cute? All is cute? Just

26
00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:03,400
Speaker 1: the man worked me hard today. Chat. But you said that, right?

27
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,920
Speaker 1: I guess y'all. She just said she just woke up

28
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,680
Speaker 1: from a nap. I said, let's be nice to you

29
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:15,119
Speaker 1: woke up from a nap? Listen, okay, self care, we're

30
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,799
Speaker 1: out here, yes, facts, So what inspired you to write

31
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:25,360
Speaker 1: this book? So? I don't even know if it was

32
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:29,920
Speaker 1: inspiration so much as I was always planning to write

33
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:37,760
Speaker 1: three books because right, So, once I realized kind of

34
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,560
Speaker 1: what my philosophy was behind Black Girl Bliss, which was that, um,

35
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,560
Speaker 1: there were these different entry points to pleasure UM and

36
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:52,960
Speaker 1: pleasure being defined as whatever brings you joy, comfort, ease, peace,

37
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,080
Speaker 1: however you want to feel. Most often that's your pleasure.

38
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,440
Speaker 1: And so I felt like self hair was an entry

39
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,359
Speaker 1: point or gateway to that. I felt like your sensuality

40
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,080
Speaker 1: or sexuality was a gateway to that. And so I

41
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,080
Speaker 1: knew that this third book was going to be the

42
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 1: spiritual sort of gateway to pleasure. I did not know

43
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,760
Speaker 1: what that was going to look like. I had no

44
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:23,799
Speaker 1: idea how I was going to put that together. I

45
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 1: was very, I would say a lot more nervous for

46
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:34,680
Speaker 1: this book because I didn't want to offend anybody's spiritual, religious,

47
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,560
Speaker 1: you know things. I just I didn't want anybody to

48
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,120
Speaker 1: be like, oh, she you know, I can't read her

49
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,440
Speaker 1: no more because she talking about this and I can't.

50
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I don't want to darkness and dark day, okay,

51
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,040
Speaker 1: because soon as you started talking about something that ain't

52
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:55,520
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, it's like, come on, y'all, like, just stay

53
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,560
Speaker 1: with me. It's not ronic. Just because I say it dark,

54
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:01,960
Speaker 1: there's not I mean, it's evil. Let's grow out of that,

55
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 1: let's move past that. And so I really shied away

56
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,800
Speaker 1: from going too deep into anything at first. At first

57
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:16,240
Speaker 1: the book was called like Spiritual Principles for a Wild

58
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,159
Speaker 1: Woman of Color something like that. It was real vague,

59
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 1: it was real bland. I was like, I don't know

60
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,520
Speaker 1: if I like this, but you know, it's the third

61
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:31,480
Speaker 1: but everybody is allowed to have one they don't really like, okay.

62
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,680
Speaker 1: But I also couldn't write it. Like every time I

63
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,719
Speaker 1: tried to sit down and write it, crickets, nothing, staring

64
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,440
Speaker 1: at the screen. It just was not coming. I was

65
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,440
Speaker 1: trying so hard and it just was not working out.

66
00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,520
Speaker 1: So of course I'm upset. I'm frustrated. I'm like, this

67
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:53,679
Speaker 1: is more than writer's block, this is just doing this. Yeah,

68
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,840
Speaker 1: like not it. So I left it alone. I left

69
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,400
Speaker 1: alone even though you know, the back of my mind,

70
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: I was like, but we need some money, like we

71
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:08,240
Speaker 1: need to get this thing moving was gonna keep building.

72
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,039
Speaker 1: So I was just like, I gotta drop it because

73
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what else to do, and I really

74
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,920
Speaker 1: don't want to put out something that I don't like.

75
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:21,440
Speaker 1: And so I'm sleep right as I be doing. I

76
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,520
Speaker 1: was sleeping and I like woke up out of my

77
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,600
Speaker 1: sleep like almost like in a cartoon like shot up

78
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:35,200
Speaker 1: with the phrase dark feminine in my head. Now mind you.

79
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 1: I was like, what is that? I was not well versed.

80
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,279
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I think I heard that before,

81
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:46,080
Speaker 1: but like why would I just wake up? Like the hell?

82
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,160
Speaker 1: Like whoever sent it sent some more? Like what are

83
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:55,560
Speaker 1: we doing with that? And I was like, wait, this

84
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,599
Speaker 1: might be for the book. This might be the direction

85
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 1: we need to go in. And so I did my

86
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 1: research because I was not about to just start saying anything.

87
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,320
Speaker 1: I was like, let me, let me read, let me

88
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,200
Speaker 1: see what the people are talking about who are well

89
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,479
Speaker 1: versed than me. So I did that for a while,

90
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,560
Speaker 1: like because I also don't believe in just looking through

91
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,520
Speaker 1: a couple of videos and flipping through some books and

92
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:22,840
Speaker 1: saying I know the answers. Because no. So I did

93
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,960
Speaker 1: a lot of research, read a lot of books, listen

94
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 1: to a lot of videos, and a lot of podcasts,

95
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 1: and I realized, like everything that people talk about with uh,

96
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 1: this concept of dark feminine or even divine feminine had

97
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,120
Speaker 1: everything to do with what Black Girl List was about.

98
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,719
Speaker 1: About being your authentic self, centering your desires, your needs,

99
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,880
Speaker 1: your well being, what you need to be the best you,

100
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,599
Speaker 1: and then using the overflow of that energy to give

101
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,080
Speaker 1: to the world if you so choose. So that's how

102
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,960
Speaker 1: I got there. I will say that I think this

103
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,560
Speaker 1: is my favorite book out of your collection because it

104
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:11,560
Speaker 1: really it really resonated with me. And I just feel

105
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,800
Speaker 1: like when I was just reading this book, I'm like, damn,

106
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,640
Speaker 1: like I think that this book is sold next and

107
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm not saying this because you're my home girl, but

108
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,120
Speaker 1: I really do feel like this book is necessary, especially

109
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,880
Speaker 1: as being like because I'm very passionate. So when I

110
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,680
Speaker 1: was reading certain things, I'm like, wow, Like people were

111
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,000
Speaker 1: really trying to make you think that you're just being

112
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 1: aggressive or you too much is net and you're not

113
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,840
Speaker 1: having the confidence that you need in order to tell

114
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,000
Speaker 1: these people like, No, I'm passionate, I'm creative, I'm expressive. Like,

115
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,600
Speaker 1: I just feel like this book was really like speaking

116
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,680
Speaker 1: to me. So I appreciate you writing this book. And

117
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:46,280
Speaker 1: this is definitely my favorite one out the collection. And

118
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,280
Speaker 1: the other two books are good, y'all, okay, but this

119
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:54,800
Speaker 1: one is really good. What would you say is your favorite? Um?

120
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,880
Speaker 1: I think I think Power is my favorite. I think, um,

121
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,040
Speaker 1: as I was finishing it up, and when I finished,

122
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,000
Speaker 1: right in my books, I always go through and just

123
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,320
Speaker 1: read it beginning to end, just to see does it

124
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,720
Speaker 1: sound right, doesn't make sense? Does it flow? Is there

125
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,600
Speaker 1: anything I need to add? So I was adding, like

126
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,920
Speaker 1: finishing finishing touches, like I remember the morning that I

127
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,200
Speaker 1: did it, because I do all my writing at night

128
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,040
Speaker 1: and so I go to bed in the morning. Um,

129
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,520
Speaker 1: so the sun was coming up. I was putting finishing

130
00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:27,400
Speaker 1: touches on it before I went and took my nap

131
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 1: and got back to it, and I was just like, yeah,

132
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,679
Speaker 1: like you know, like this was just I was like,

133
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 1: this might be the best one. Like as I was

134
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,120
Speaker 1: reading through, and I was just like, this feels good.

135
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:47,560
Speaker 1: This like right, this feels like exactly what this was

136
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,200
Speaker 1: supposed to be. And I'm so glad I didn't force it.

137
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,960
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I didn't try to put something out

138
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,280
Speaker 1: that I didn't like, even if that means that, you know,

139
00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,400
Speaker 1: I didn't put it out in January like I thought

140
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,840
Speaker 1: I was going to do, or I didn't put it

141
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,400
Speaker 1: out last year like I thought I was gonna do.

142
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:12,080
Speaker 1: But it just felt so good, yeah, really good. Like

143
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,280
Speaker 1: I was just talking to my home girls about it,

144
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:18,440
Speaker 1: and I'm just like wow, like society and like people

145
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,680
Speaker 1: were really heavy thinking and not knowing who you really

146
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,360
Speaker 1: are about yourself. Like this book really spoke volume to me.

147
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:30,600
Speaker 1: So I really enjoyed it. Yeah, now, explain what dark

148
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:40,520
Speaker 1: feminine is, okay, So, because there's all kinds of definitions,

149
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:44,560
Speaker 1: there's all kinds of folks who will skew it in

150
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,600
Speaker 1: different ways. Here's the basis. Okay, here's what we're talking

151
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,640
Speaker 1: about in my book. I don't know what other people

152
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:56,400
Speaker 1: are talking about. I define the dark feminine as the

153
00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:02,000
Speaker 1: part of the divine, like the whole, you know, divine universe,

154
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:07,400
Speaker 1: God's source, whatever you you know, think created everything, the

155
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,160
Speaker 1: part of it that has been assigned feminine by people,

156
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,080
Speaker 1: because people always have to put things in a box, right,

157
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:19,440
Speaker 1: we call that the divine feminine. But there are parts

158
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:28,240
Speaker 1: of this divine feminine that were rejected, outcast, called inappropriate,

159
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,400
Speaker 1: called crazy, called violent, And those are the parts that

160
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: were kind of shoved over into the shadows. It was like,

161
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,600
Speaker 1: we don't talk about those parts of ourselves. We don't

162
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 1: talk about those parts of nature. We don't talk about

163
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,360
Speaker 1: those parts of of you know, animals, like just anything

164
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:54,280
Speaker 1: that is not the perfect, sweet, flowery idea of femininity.

165
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,120
Speaker 1: We don't talk about the chaos. We don't talk about

166
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,880
Speaker 1: the destruction. We don't talk about the intentional violence, you know,

167
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,400
Speaker 1: thevential destroying of things so that something better can grow

168
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 1: in its place. We don't talk about those things that

169
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,440
Speaker 1: don't fit into this narrow understanding of what it means

170
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,400
Speaker 1: to be feminine. What it means to be womant seven.

171
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,800
Speaker 1: So the dark feminine encompasses all of those things, and

172
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 1: I kind of talk about it through a lens of

173
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:34,679
Speaker 1: here's all the things that you were probably taught were unladylike, inappropriate, unacceptable,

174
00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,760
Speaker 1: don't do that, You're not supposed to do that. People

175
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,600
Speaker 1: like you. Don't do that? Who do you think you are?

176
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,839
Speaker 1: You're too much? All of those things that we get

177
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,560
Speaker 1: taught from very young ages, so young that we might

178
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 1: not even remember who the first person was to say

179
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,959
Speaker 1: that to us, or who's the first person to make

180
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,040
Speaker 1: us feel that way, but we know we've always felt

181
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,200
Speaker 1: that way. We've always felt like I'm too much. So

182
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,080
Speaker 1: I need to talk less. I need to you know,

183
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 1: not dressed as you know, however I want to dress.

184
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,200
Speaker 1: People gonna say I'm doing too much. Let me just

185
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,520
Speaker 1: put on a T shirt and genes whatever I want

186
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 1: to do with my life. People gonna say I'm too ambitious.

187
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 1: I think I'm better than everybody who I Who do

188
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,280
Speaker 1: I think I am? To be able to do that?

189
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:21,320
Speaker 1: So let me just you know, dumb it down, do

190
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:26,000
Speaker 1: something regular, you know, and not really explore and fulfill

191
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,560
Speaker 1: my destiny and my potential because of what I fear

192
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 1: has been said about me, what I believe about myself

193
00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:36,480
Speaker 1: to be true because of what people have said, and

194
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 1: just not feeling like you're going to be supportive. You know,

195
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 1: we always want to feel validated and praised and loved,

196
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,400
Speaker 1: especially from the people that mean the most of us.

197
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,880
Speaker 1: So if they have said this is not okay, I

198
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,199
Speaker 1: don't approve of this, I don't think you should do this,

199
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,920
Speaker 1: you need to do less of this, then we think

200
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 1: that that's how we need to go through the world

201
00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,679
Speaker 1: because those are the people we trust the most. What

202
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,560
Speaker 1: I say in the book, it's like on the other

203
00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:07,200
Speaker 1: side of all these things we've been taught we can't do,

204
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,760
Speaker 1: shouldn't do. It's exactly what Black Girl Bliss is about.

205
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:15,559
Speaker 1: Your pleasure, your power, everything that you need to be,

206
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,160
Speaker 1: do and have, everything that you desire and deserve in

207
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:23,280
Speaker 1: this life is on the other side of all these

208
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:27,000
Speaker 1: things you've been told to stay away from. So that

209
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,480
Speaker 1: is what I am considering the dark femning. Why do

210
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,600
Speaker 1: you think when people hear feminine energy they automatically assume

211
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 1: soft and nurturing and submissive and etcetera, and nothing else,

212
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,960
Speaker 1: Because that's the picture that's been painted. Right. So when

213
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:49,240
Speaker 1: you when you do any matter of research about divine, feminine,

214
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 1: dark feminine, you know, that kind of thing, you typically

215
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,520
Speaker 1: will end up with these stories about goddesses, and it's

216
00:13:56,559 --> 00:14:02,199
Speaker 1: these goddesses who are super powerful and somehow, some way

217
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,400
Speaker 1: they get stripped of their power and they get forced

218
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:09,679
Speaker 1: into being tame. For lack of a better way, they

219
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 1: get forced into the role of mother, they get forced

220
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,000
Speaker 1: into the role of wife, they get forced into the

221
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 1: role of of concubine, or you know, like it's always

222
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 1: some story about how they're stripped of their power, how

223
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,240
Speaker 1: they're becoming the property of some man. And now that

224
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 1: their tame and calm and cool and collected, now they

225
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 1: can be considered beautiful. Now they can be considered worthy

226
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 1: of love. Now they can be talked about and praised,

227
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:44,160
Speaker 1: you know, And that permeates everything we've ever seen in media,

228
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:49,200
Speaker 1: in stories, in fairy tales, in the types of women

229
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 1: that we get to see, right because out like say,

230
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,080
Speaker 1: for example, a more masculine presenting woman, it's not going

231
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,840
Speaker 1: to get the same opportunity, is not going to get

232
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:06,080
Speaker 1: the same platforms as a very beautiful you know, stereotypically

233
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 1: feminine woman. They're just not because that doesn't fit the stereotype.

234
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,120
Speaker 1: People don't think that that's what folks want to see.

235
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 1: I have a perfect example of this that just popped

236
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,040
Speaker 1: in my head. So the new uh Disney movie Incanto

237
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 1: so Um, for folks who haven't seen that movie, there's um,

238
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,440
Speaker 1: three sisters, three sisters, and one of the sisters is

239
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:36,040
Speaker 1: very beautiful and you know, stereotypically feminine, and all the

240
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,200
Speaker 1: men want her, etcetera, etcetera. But then there's another sister

241
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:47,360
Speaker 1: who is big and strong and just like not particularly

242
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,080
Speaker 1: stereotypically feminine, even though she does like wear a dress

243
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:53,200
Speaker 1: or something. But you know, she's stronger than all the men,

244
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,840
Speaker 1: and she's just like very large, towering over all the men.

245
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:02,480
Speaker 1: And so Disney thought that the pretty sister was going

246
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 1: to be the one the girls like. So they made

247
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 1: all this pretty sisterm I'm saying pretty sister because I

248
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 1: remember her name. They made all this merch for her.

249
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 1: They prepared the toys, but who did the girls like?

250
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:20,360
Speaker 1: The girls like the big, tough, strong sister, and they

251
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:23,760
Speaker 1: were not for that. They were not prepared. They did

252
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 1: not think that that two little girls were going to

253
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 1: go after they were they did not have the same

254
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 1: amount of merch, They did not have the same amount

255
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,640
Speaker 1: of promo for her, like they were completely caught off God.

256
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 1: And that, to me is a perfect example of their

257
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:45,120
Speaker 1: promoting this idea of femininity. And yeah, little girls are

258
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 1: gonna align with that because she grows flowers and you know,

259
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 1: all these kinds of things, like she makes flowers burst

260
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: out of her hands, and she has long, pretty hair,

261
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 1: and you know, and here's this other one who's like

262
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 1: brute strength is her superpower, Like she lifting horses with

263
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 1: one hand and lifting houses with another, and it's all good.

264
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,359
Speaker 1: And the little girls loved her. So I think we

265
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:14,880
Speaker 1: may be turning a corner in terms of how the

266
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:19,280
Speaker 1: feminine is represented, right. But I think this is one

267
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 1: of the first instances where folks are like, oh my gosh,

268
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 1: they don't like the girly girls anymore. And I also like,

269
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: I don't feel like companies need to think about the

270
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,920
Speaker 1: message that they're sending out to little girls, because I

271
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 1: don't know about these little girls are going now. But

272
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 1: little girls back in our day, they was weird. It

273
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: was awkward, like we looked like kids. These look kids

274
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 1: right now, little like grown women like, and I think

275
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 1: that that speaks volumes, like all girls are not gonna

276
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,800
Speaker 1: look like that very true because I surely did not

277
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:59,240
Speaker 1: ask me. I look crazy most like for a long

278
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,159
Speaker 1: time girl, I was cute here, but I was I

279
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: looked like craziest. He'll like it, because that part of

280
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 1: growing up, like awkward phases. You go th those awkward moments.

281
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 1: I have my like seventh grade or eighth grade yearbook

282
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,439
Speaker 1: on my bookshelf behind me, and I look at it

283
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 1: sometimes and I'm just like wow, wow, like how adorable

284
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 1: but also poor baby, Like, like the girls now are

285
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 1: getting a makeup done for first day of school. I say,

286
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,439
Speaker 1: how used to me? Because first of all, I couldn't

287
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 1: wear makeup till I was sixteen. Okay, my nails done

288
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,600
Speaker 1: until I was sixteen, and not struggle. What are we

289
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:48,679
Speaker 1: like whole full face beats for first day of new Listen, Yeah,

290
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 1: the new kids are different, but you know they're getting

291
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,440
Speaker 1: that from social media. Yeah, that's all this pressure to

292
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 1: look a certain way based on who's getting them attention

293
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 1: on social media. And you know, I didn't realize how

294
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 1: deep it goals because like, I have a little sister,

295
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,480
Speaker 1: but she's like not that much younger than me. She's

296
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 1: in her twenties, but my best friend has a little

297
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 1: sister who's in her teens. When we were like late twenties,

298
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 1: early thirties, and she was so so sad because she

299
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,880
Speaker 1: felt like she wasn't measuring up. She felt like she

300
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 1: was supposed to graduate college and have a business and

301
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,720
Speaker 1: be a millionaire by the time she was twenty two.

302
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 1: And she really thought that, and we were like, honey,

303
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 1: like life is just from me. I don't even like

304
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: what was I doing at years old somewhere in school

305
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:54,360
Speaker 1: dating somebody stupid? Like, girl, your life has not even started,

306
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 1: and you're talking about all on behind I'm behind? Why

307
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: because you don't have five million followers? Because because you

308
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: don't have an arrange rover, like is pretend this is

309
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 1: not be norm for everybody. This is just a few

310
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 1: rich people that y'all follow on the internet and think

311
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 1: this is what it's supposed to be, right. I felt

312
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 1: so bad about how she was doing in life, just like,

313
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 1: is this what the children are they look? It's really sad.

314
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: It's really sad when you're here what these young girls

315
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: are going through and what they would go through just

316
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 1: to have this aesthetic that they got it going on.

317
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 1: And I was talking to one of my we're getting

318
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,919
Speaker 1: off topic, but I was talking to one of my

319
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 1: little home girls, and I was like, but you know,

320
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 1: these little girls are doing for all this ship, Like,

321
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:46,640
Speaker 1: don't get it twisted. I'm like, everything comes with a price, Okay.

322
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: I was like, so unless you wanted to pay that fee,

323
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 1: you better be thankful for the problems you do have

324
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: and stopped trying to worry abou where everybody else got

325
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: going on. Because these little girls these days, they savage.

326
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 1: They all by any means necessary, and it's so to okay,

327
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: it's so unfortunate. I'm just like, when did we start

328
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,119
Speaker 1: feeling like we had to do exactly what the people

329
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,199
Speaker 1: we saw on the internet was doing. Like that's a

330
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 1: very new because even though I feel like I grew

331
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 1: up with my Space, Facebook, like, it was never that,

332
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 1: Like it was never I gotta go and look exactly

333
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 1: like you know, like even in college we had like

334
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 1: Tumbler and we had like Twitter and stuff like that

335
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:40,199
Speaker 1: was just starting. But like never did I look on

336
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 1: there and say, oh, I gotta look exactly like her,

337
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: I gotta do exactly I might have got a little inspiration.

338
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: I might have started a little Pinterest board for some

339
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 1: outfits or something, but I was never like, oh, her

340
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,159
Speaker 1: booty bigger than mine, so let me figure out how

341
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 1: to go third three, Like, oh, her waist is impossibly thin,

342
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 1: let me figure out how she did that? Like weird.

343
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 1: And I think a large part of it is that

344
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: a lot of these young folks have not lived long

345
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: enough to understand that all of this is a trend.

346
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 1: It's going to go away. It's not going to be

347
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,679
Speaker 1: cool in just a few So everybody who went and

348
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: change their bodies and did all these things to themselves

349
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: and their faces and there you know, wardrobes and everything,

350
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: it's gonna shift. It shifts every ten, fifteen, twenty years.

351
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 1: It's different. But if you're new here, you don't know.

352
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 1: Not for nothing. It's just so amazing because like I

353
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 1: use social media, and I'm pretty sure you do the

354
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: same for like business purposes, Like so I'm always researching,

355
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,719
Speaker 1: like I'm always reaching out to people, Like I'm telling you,

356
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 1: social media is the best game that you can use

357
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: when it comes to building your business. Like that's how

358
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 1: we met. And it just amazes me how you see

359
00:22:55,400 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: these girls and now they pretty much redoing our body

360
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: used to make their bodies look slimmer with no ass

361
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, yo, like that is so scary.

362
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: Like they all means you do it makes you happy

363
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: and you do what's best for you. But to see

364
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: that I'm not a girls that are now reversing their surgery,

365
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 1: it's like it's I'm like, you know you everything is

366
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,360
Speaker 1: a is a trend. That's a fact. You're risking your

367
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: life for a look that's gonna be out of style

368
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 1: in a little bit, instead of just seeing what your

369
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: body is gonna do. You have no idea what you

370
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: want to look like when you nineteen years old, Like

371
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 1: you're still growing into yourself. This is not your if

372
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: I more, I don't look the same way I did

373
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 1: when I was you know, in high school and college,

374
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: things have gotten bigger, things have gotten smaller. Like around

375
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: like it's a lot going on. I gay, like I said,

376
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: I told him, Like the other day, I was like

377
00:23:54,880 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: I didn't get hips until I was like twenty eight,

378
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,439
Speaker 1: and even still like I look at myself like when

379
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 1: did I get I live? What is happening like my

380
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,920
Speaker 1: thirty something body, It's probably what a nineteen year old

381
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: would pay for. But I have to wait for this,

382
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: like I have to wait on it. And then not

383
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: even to mention how your body change if you choose

384
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 1: to have children or things like that, like and who

385
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 1: knows what happens when you go and you do those

386
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: surgeries and then your body is still trying to do

387
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: what it's gonna do. Just leave that body to body, child, Okay, Like,

388
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: just let it settle for a minute before you decide

389
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 1: to do something drastic and let it be for you.

390
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 1: Don't let it be because you want to compete with

391
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,399
Speaker 1: Highie Jenner, Like, this is not That's always tell my

392
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,720
Speaker 1: young girls. I'm like, if you're gonna do something, make

393
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: sure that that's what you want to do, because you

394
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 1: only got get one life and you get one body

395
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:04,399
Speaker 1: that we know exactly exactly there. And then to to

396
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: bring this, you know, full circle, we just say what

397
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say about the platforms, yes, like and just

398
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: the idea of what it means to be feminine, what

399
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: it means to be attractive, what it means to be

400
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 1: a woman. It's so controlled by media and media meaning

401
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: social media, TVs, movies, books that come out like models

402
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 1: like all these people who shape our culture and shape

403
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: what we see most often have created this idea of

404
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: what a woman is supposed to be. And if you

405
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 1: are not that, then something is wrong with you. You

406
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: need to change yourself. And you have things like the

407
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: beauty industry that make you feel like you're dirty, you

408
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 1: think you're too hairy, you're this, you're that. Coming by

409
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 1: our products and be better. A lot of these new

410
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: creators and and and media platforms and things are using

411
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 1: that same energy of you're not enough, you're you know

412
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: less than because you're not this ideal of femininity. Let

413
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: me help you be more feminine. Let me show you

414
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: how to attract these different men. Let me tell you

415
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: that you need to grow your hair long and don't

416
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: wear it like this, wear these kinds of clothes and

417
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,160
Speaker 1: go to these types of places, and don't talk like this.

418
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: I just like, right, that's violence. How are you gonna

419
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 1: tell somebody that who they are is not enough, that

420
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: who they are is not perfect? Exactly? How? It's like,

421
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: why would you want to engage with something like that?

422
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: But people do because they're so desperate to achieve something

423
00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: that they want or to do whatever they feel like

424
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 1: they're supposed to do by a certain age, have a man,

425
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 1: have this, have that, And they're like, well, I don't

426
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: have it, so there must be something wrong with me.

427
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 1: I must not be feminine enough, I must not be

428
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 1: pretty enough. And when I see women start to fall

429
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: into those femininity rabbit holes, I'm just like, oh gosh,

430
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:22,439
Speaker 1: here we go. It's like a last ditch attempt to, like,

431
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, check some box, because you know, these

432
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: people are telling you, I'm gonna show you how to

433
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: get a man, I'm gonna show you how to do this.

434
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you how to live life like I do.

435
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: And people are enticed by that. But if we were

436
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,760
Speaker 1: a little more confident in those other parts of ourselves

437
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: that are not socially acceptable, we would feel less of

438
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: a pressure to conform to this ideal or to uh

439
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: set ourselves up to live these lives that we think

440
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: we're supposed to live, when we already have our path

441
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 1: set out for us. We already have these skills and

442
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 1: these interests and these gifts that we came to this

443
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: world with. And trying to conform to something else, you're

444
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: not doing what you're supposed to be doing, and you're

445
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 1: not gonna get to where you need to get to

446
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 1: because you're not doing yourself and finding the joy and

447
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: the fulfillment and that you're looking for because you're so

448
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: busy trying to do something else, or something that somebody

449
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: told you you were supposed to do that was supposed

450
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: to make you happy, that was supposed to give you

451
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 1: everything that you were looking for, and it hasn't, and

452
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: you can't quite figure out why that isn't making you happy.

453
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: It's supposed to, right, Other people would kill to have X,

454
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: Y and Z. Other people would love to do what

455
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: you're doing, and you're like, m no, right by for me.

456
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: But then you're onto the next thing, trying to find

457
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: that satisfaction, trying to find that fulfillment and that joy

458
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: and that comfort, and it's still not there because you

459
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: won't explore these parts of yourself. Dark feminine that people

460
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: told you was not okay? Right? Would you say that

461
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: there are all there are similarities between dark feminine and

462
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: masculine energy. No? No, I wouldn't say that. Um. The

463
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: only reason why I said that is because like I

464
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: was thinking about myself, right, So I can be very

465
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: feminine for sure, but I know that I have. I

466
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: have masculine energy, like especially when I get like I'm

467
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: a girl's girl. But when I get around some niggas,

468
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 1: like you would have thought I was one of them.

469
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: And you know, I know at times, and that's why

470
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: I appreciate your book, because I didn't know what dark

471
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: feminine was. So I always said that, like, I know,

472
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: I have masculine energy, like I know I can be

473
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 1: very like passionate about some things. But then when I

474
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: was reading the book, I'm like, maybe it's not masculine energy.

475
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: Maybe this is just my dark feminine side just showing up,

476
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: and I just didn't know the terminology for it. So

477
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: so I always say, we we all have masculine and feminine.

478
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: We all we must like nobody can lean too far

479
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: one way or the other without completely just spiraling off

480
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: into who knows what. It doesn't work. The goal is balanced.

481
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: But the way that we are socialized and women, you know, everybody,

482
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,959
Speaker 1: and the way they're socializing that you have to be

483
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: all of one thing or all of the other. You know,

484
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm like gray areas. We don't like in between, we

485
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 1: don't like outside. You gotta be in this box or

486
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: you gotta be in this box. And so when we

487
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: realize that within ourselves we don't fit neatly into this category, right,

488
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: we're not supposed to. But the way that we've been

489
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 1: taught is that, oh, I'm weird. I'm not like the

490
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: other girls because I like to do this or that

491
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: or because you know, in these situations, this is my personality,

492
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: this is what I like to do. You know, people

493
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: start to call your names. People want to call your old,

494
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: or they want to call you gay, or they want

495
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: to cause you like it's all these different little labels

496
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,600
Speaker 1: that people want to put on you if you don't

497
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: do what is you know, expected by society. And it

498
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be like that. I am with you,

499
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: like in certain situations, I'm one of the guys, you know,

500
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: and and it's all good. And I don't think that

501
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 1: I am particularly like super masculine, but I think that

502
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: there is a spectrum and we all exist somewhere in

503
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: the middle. But when I think about masculine energy, and

504
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: to me, masculine energy is more um what is the

505
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: word I'm looking for. It's like it's productive, it's logical,

506
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: it's strategic, it's linear, where feminine energy is more chaotic.

507
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: It's all over the place it flows goes, where the

508
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: energy goes. You know, it's like I'm into this and

509
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm into that, and I want to try some of this.

510
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: I want to see what's over there. Like, you know,

511
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: it's not as linear, it's not as logical. It's emotional, right,

512
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 1: So we're going based on how we feel based I mean,

513
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: as opposed to with the masculine goes based on logic.

514
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 1: You know, we're what we want to in the moment,

515
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: as opposed to buckling down and getting things done. Now,

516
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 1: in that comparison, you can see how if we live

517
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: solely in the feminine, we would never get anything done.

518
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: Like it would be fun, you know, and it would

519
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: feel good if we would have a good time, but

520
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: we would never produce anything. We would never sit down

521
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: and get to work and do what we need to do.

522
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: We would never be able to plan anything because we

523
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: don't think like that. We're like, this is what I

524
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 1: want to do today, and it might change in the

525
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: next five minutes. Like that's okay too. But we need

526
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: that balance because sometimes we do need to sit down

527
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: and plan. We need to sit down and get to work,

528
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: we need to do something right. We need to work sometimes,

529
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: do need to strategize right, so the goal is balanced.

530
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: And the reason why I wrote about the dark feminine

531
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: in particular instead of all of the feminine energy is

532
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: because we gotta get that in order first, Like you know,

533
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: like we've we've mastered the other part of the feminine

534
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: that's sweet and nurturing. Saw, like we got that, we're

535
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: all good on that. We gotta deal with a part

536
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: of us that's angry, that's emotional, that you know, changed

537
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,239
Speaker 1: her mind at the drop of a head, like you know,

538
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: like those parts of us that we're told are too much,

539
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: you know, those parts that we are dismissed for all

540
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: she she owned up areas she did. She did, she

541
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 1: changed when the wind blow Like that's normal, and we

542
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: have been trained that it's not that we shouldn't do

543
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: that the way people say, Oh, a woman could never

544
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: be in it because she's too emotional. Hello, have you

545
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: met men? Yeah? What do you mean? What do you

546
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 1: mean close to cursing niggas out and out? Have y'all

547
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,439
Speaker 1: missed the past few years where all the men who

548
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: have been president have started wars because they're in their feelings, Like, Hello,

549
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: what are we talking about. But y'all think a woman

550
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: is gonna press the nuke button because she on her

551
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 1: period that day. Like this is the culture we live in,

552
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: and so that's why we think we're too emotional. I

553
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: heard women say this out of their mouths. I'll now,

554
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: women too emotional, so we can't do this or that.

555
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: And I'm like, girl, you believe that about yourself? Like

556
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 1: I never could get with girls. I mean, I know,

557
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: to each his own, but because I'm a girl's girl,

558
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: and I can never give with girls who just don't

559
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 1: understand that girls girl relationship like ain't nothing like being

560
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,439
Speaker 1: with your slister. So when you meet saying these like, oh,

561
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 1: women are too emotional, bitch, what do you think you are?

562
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 1: Where do you what are you saying? Like why do

563
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: you leave that about yourself? And then why do you

564
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 1: leave that enough to be like, no, it's true, and

565
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell people about it, Like it's not

566
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: like everybody has emotions, that isn't But we have the

567
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 1: only ones who are told that we need to keep

568
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,240
Speaker 1: ours in check, that we need to do something differently,

569
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 1: and like we're on a whole different energetic thing over here.

570
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: Like we go through cycles we go through these these

571
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 1: times of the month like we are somebody different every

572
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: like seven days, something different going on. And for for men,

573
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 1: like I think there's like twenty four hours, like they're

574
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 1: pretty much even and the same all the time. Whereas

575
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: we go through moments where our energy is high, we

576
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: go through moments where our energy is low. We go

577
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: through moments where we're creative and we want to be

578
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: outside and we're doing whatever and we're having fun, and

579
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: we go through moments where we're like, I'm in the house,

580
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: I'm hanging out. We go through moments where things might

581
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 1: make us cry or they might make us angry or whatever.

582
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: All of that is normal. But you've been taught in

583
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: every way that we can be taught that we're too

584
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 1: emotional and we're too that we need to keep it

585
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 1: together and be even across the board. And if you

586
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 1: think about it, we're also penalized for not being emotional.

587
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: And it's like we can't win for losing, So do

588
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 1: whatever you want. The game is brigg You're not gonna win,

589
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: so just do whatever. Like I think about Hillary Clinton,

590
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: and regardless of what you feel about her, I got

591
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 1: feeling about her as well. It's like people were so

592
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 1: mad at her because she was so even because you

593
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: couldn't tell what she was thinking, because she wasn't this

594
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: emotional woman that everybody you know, thought that she was

595
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 1: supposed to be. But she had my choice, Okay, like

596
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: she you know, she came in, she had her game

597
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: face on. She did what need to be done, and

598
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: people wonder she's hard and she's cruel and she's cold,

599
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 1: and she's okay too that when they show some some emotion,

600
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 1: when they get upset about something, then that's all. She's

601
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: not fit. She's not fit. She's crying, she's doing this,

602
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: she's doing that, she's being a human being. We hate it.

603
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: She can't do it like what you want from us.

604
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: So my what I always tell people is do whatever

605
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: you want, like please, like stop looking for people to

606
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: validate you, because they are only going to validate you

607
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,359
Speaker 1: if you meet or measure up to what they think

608
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: you should be doing. And that is going to change

609
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: every moment. Like there's no winning. You can get close

610
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: to winning, and they're gonna move the goal posts. So

611
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: just do what feels best for you. Well that's a

612
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: perfect segue into shadows self. So explain what that is

613
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: and how it shows up in one person. So I

614
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: say that, and the people have different ideas about this,

615
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: Like some people would think that the dark feminine is

616
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: part of your shadow. I don't necessarily think that. I

617
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: believe that we come here on this earth right with

618
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: these I guess you can call them habits or characteristics

619
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:41,720
Speaker 1: um that society may not look so so fondly upon, right,

620
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: And that's not to say that we come here and

621
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: we're evil or anything like that. It may just be like,

622
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 1: you know, we like to talk right, talk to anybody.

623
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: So then somebody will come and tell you when you

624
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: talk too much, and that's the first time you heard that,

625
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: and you're like, wow, okay, so does that mean people

626
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: don't like me, that I'm annoying people? And so you

627
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 1: kind of developed this complex. Uh oh, I talked too much.

628
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: Let me talk less. A matter of fact, let me

629
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 1: just be quiet. Let me not say anything that starts

630
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 1: to build your shadow self. That part of you that

631
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 1: has been wounded, that has been harmed, that has been

632
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: excuse me rejected, that has been outcast, that you've been

633
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 1: told was wrong, and it has influenced the way that

634
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: you move through the world. Right, So that's one part

635
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 1: of it. The other part is those parts of ourselves

636
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 1: that we develop almost as like a protection. But it's

637
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: not great. And I'll give you an example. So we

638
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: end up in a situation, and whether we're a kid,

639
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: whether we're adults, it happens all the time. We end

640
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 1: up in a situation where we get hurt. Right, And

641
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: so we've realized we've been hurt, our feelings are hurt.

642
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 1: But instead of processing those emotions and moving through it

643
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: and kind of you know, taking whatever lessons we need

644
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: to take from it, we decide nobody's ever gonna hurt

645
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: me again. So I'm going to become super violent, right,

646
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 1: I'm ready to fight. I see that in a lot

647
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 1: of girls. It's like, I'm not gonna let y'all ever

648
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: hurt my feelings again. I'm just gonna start hitting people.

649
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:37,479
Speaker 1: I'm just going to fight everything, Like, don't say nothing

650
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: my way. I'm ready to fight, right. Or another way

651
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 1: that that can show up is that you know, you

652
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: were very honest with somebody and they used that against you,

653
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: so now you just be lying. Now you're manipulative. Now

654
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: you you know, don't tell the whole truth to everybody

655
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: because you are afraid of being hurt with what you

656
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 1: share with somebody and things, but not to cut you

657
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: off or not to get to But that made me

658
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: think about um victims of sexual abuse. Mm hmm. So

659
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,399
Speaker 1: it's it's like a coping mechanism, right, it's to the

660
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: things that we've experienced in life. But we know that

661
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: those kinds of behaviors are not helpful. And so that's

662
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: the difference between the shadow self and your dark feminine.

663
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: Like the behaviors and the things that we do to

664
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: cope to protect ourselves really aren't helpful to us, and

665
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: they're not helpful to anybody else. Like it's not particularly

666
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 1: helpful to be manipulative, it's not particularly helpful to just

667
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: be indiscriminately viighting, you know, like these things are going

668
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 1: to cause more harm than good. Whereas when you're exploring

669
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 1: you're dark feminine, you're digging up all of those things

670
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to be doing. You're supposed to be exploring,

671
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be enjoying about yourself and about life.

672
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: When you're dealing with your shadow, it's like, oh, let

673
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 1: me keep a handle on that, because if I'm not careful,

674
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fall back into, you know, these habits of

675
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 1: by and being manipulative, um, having weak boundaries, right people, pleasing,

676
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: letting people do and say whatever, and I'm just like okay,

677
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 1: it's okay, no biggie, I'm cool. UM over sharing. That's

678
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 1: part of having no boundaries to like you immediately tell

679
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,160
Speaker 1: the first person you meet all of your business. It's like,

680
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: why that's not helpful? You don't don't do that. You

681
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: don't know who he's talking to. Everybody, don't need that

682
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: information is here, Like, don't do that, you know, But

683
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 1: that's a trauma response almost, Like that is somebody's attempt

684
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: at like see like I'm trying to say the right words.

685
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 1: They want to be seen, they want to be witnessed,

686
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: they want to be validated, and so they have been

687
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: ignored and rejected so much that the first person they see,

688
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: especially a new person, it's like, please you see me,

689
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: see me, you know, witness me. Tell me I'm okay,

690
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,200
Speaker 1: tell me that you know I'm not crazy, And so

691
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: they spill everything that can be part of somebody's shadow too.

692
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 1: So I think that shadow work goes a lot deeper

693
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 1: than I can present in a book. So I didn't

694
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 1: to add that on top of the already deep things

695
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: we were talking about. So but I also feel like

696
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: with um shadow work, I can see how that can

697
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: enable you to stick to the script for sure. For sure. Absolutely,

698
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: And what I tell people, especially when it's in regards

699
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: to like shadow and things that you know, once we

700
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 1: are cognizant of, we're like, okay, we're just gonna kind

701
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,399
Speaker 1: of keep that under wraps. Everybody don't need to know

702
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: that that's what's going on or that's what I used

703
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: to do. Whatever, you can still you some of that

704
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: for good, you know, Like if I know that and

705
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: I'm telling my business right here, like I know that

706
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: I am an amazing liar, and I know that that

707
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 1: is not something you need to do on the regular basis.

708
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 1: But if I need to get something done, yeah, if

709
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: i'm I don't know where I would be. But just

710
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes the situation called or listen if you

711
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 1: if I'm thinking, what, well I think you. I mean,

712
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,480
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you're amazing liaring all aspects, but I

713
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: do agree with you when it comes to certain things

714
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: I need to get done. So if I need to

715
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 1: get some some something plush through, you know, some paperwork

716
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: or something like that, and I need to tell you

717
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: a little something just to get that done. Ain't I

718
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: gonna hurt nobody right pulling that out in my back

719
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 1: pocket if I need to know, is that lie? Or

720
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:55,919
Speaker 1: is it thinking fast? Think? Okay, whatever, whatever you need

721
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 1: to call it, I could do it. Okay, we got it.

722
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: It ain't no problems. Put you real fast. But that

723
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I'm out in the world just lying

724
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: to people and whatever. Like when I was a little kid,

725
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: I had like big trouble about life, just girl, like

726
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: what is happening? And I've gotten a lot of trouble

727
00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 1: for it. And now thinking as an adult, I'm like

728
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 1: I probably would not have like punished me the way

729
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: I was punished. I would have just been like, girl,

730
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: what do you need? What is the like? Why are

731
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: you out here making a fantastical story and telling people

732
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 1: about it and they believe you? And I used to

733
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 1: say all kinds of stuff, But when thinking about like

734
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 1: why that was and what I experienced, that made me

735
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 1: feel like I wasn't interesting enough by myself, or I

736
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't get attention if people didn't think that this wild

737
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: thing had happened to me or you know something like that.

738
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 1: I think now knowing what I know, it's also like

739
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 1: it if I told the truth, I was going to

740
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: get in so much trouble. So to avoid trouble, you know,

741
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: to avoid getting my ass meat to think fast, like

742
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 1: to get out of trouble, because I did not want

743
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:19,879
Speaker 1: to you know, experience that not today. So I just

744
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: got I just got really good at it. That is

745
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: a part of my shadow. And you know it's not

746
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: gonna go away. I don't use it all the time,

747
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: but I might as well use it since it's They're right, like,

748
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't always have to be the most negative thing.

749
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: Just like somebody who's like prone to fighting because they're

750
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: tired of, you know, having to defend themselves. Sometimes you're

751
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: gonna need to fight. Mm hm. Let's you know, sometimes

752
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 1: somebody's gonna come at you and you don't need to

753
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 1: handle your business like it happens, right, So it's not

754
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 1: like these things are just terrible, horrible. We need to

755
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: release them and we need to I hate people will

756
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 1: say that like we need to destroy the shadow. No

757
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:06,399
Speaker 1: we don't. We have those for a reason because you're

758
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: not gonna tell me that somebody come trying to do

759
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: something to you, or do something to your child, or

760
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 1: do something to your partner, and you're not gonna pull

761
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 1: that out, right, You're not. You got to pull that out.

762
00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 1: So I don't think shadows are necessarily bad. I think

763
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: that when we don't know how to use them or

764
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: how to recognize them, they can be a little rough.

765
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, you know. I feel like when I

766
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: was thinking about my shadow stuff, one of the things

767
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: that you mentioned was attachment to victim hood, and I

768
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: feel like that was my shadow so for a very

769
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 1: long time, because I didn't have, like what I can see,

770
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: like a nuclear family unit, and I used to always

771
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 1: be like, oh, my friends are my family. My friends

772
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: are everything. And I always felt like my friends were

773
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: obligated to be there for me because I was so afraid,

774
00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 1: um not having anybody like I used to really have this, um,

775
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: this fear. I used to really have, like really bad

776
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: loneliness and abandonment issues. So when I was reading it,

777
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: I was just like wow, Like thankfully with therapy and

778
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 1: like you know, exercises and meditating all this other stuff,

779
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: it helped me. But I was just like wow, Like,

780
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: imagine if I would have knew exactly what like certain

781
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 1: terminology and stuff is and stuff, because you don't be

782
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: knowing what the hell be going on with you. You

783
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:34,239
Speaker 1: just be like just trying to survive. Yeah, I trying

784
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: to make it to the next day, doing whatever you

785
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: need to do. Like that's why I hate when people

786
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: like demonize the shadow or self and like, you know,

787
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: make it seem like it's something to be like ashamed

788
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 1: of and stuff, like, like you were doing what you

789
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: needed to do in that moment, usually and almost always

790
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: to keep yourself safe. Right, you can be mad at that,

791
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 1: Like you don't know what kind of environment spoke to

792
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: grow up in people wanted to survive, And so even

793
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 1: after that survival mode is over, you still have those habits,

794
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: You still have those behaviors, You still have those skills

795
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: that you learn. Right if you were somebody who had

796
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 1: to steal in order to eat, you don't forget how

797
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:23,840
Speaker 1: to steal. You don't do that no more, Like you

798
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: just don't do that. But when it's needed, Okay, Like

799
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 1: you have that in your back pocket and it's nothing

800
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: to be afraid of and it's nothing that you have

801
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: to like go shouting to the heavens about. But like

802
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 1: It's also something that if needed, you can do what

803
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 1: needs to be done. And I don't think that there's

804
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: any shame in that. I think that if you can

805
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 1: use those develop behaviors for good, like that's probably the

806
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 1: best thing you can do to kind of work through. Yes,

807
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: I had to do this to survive. Yes, I had

808
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 1: to do this because either of the things that were

809
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 1: happening around me. These are the things that happened to me.

810
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,839
Speaker 1: I know that they don't define who I am. Right,

811
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: if need be, we can do what needs to be

812
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 1: that right. I think. Also another reason why this is

813
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 1: one of my favorite books because I feel like you

814
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 1: share a little bit more about yourself. Like I feel

815
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: like definitely in the first book you did, but I

816
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 1: feel like within this book, like maybe it was a

817
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 1: full circle moment because I know we speak, but like

818
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:34,280
Speaker 1: I know you mostly through the books. So when I'm reading,

819
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,919
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, Like you know, I can see how

820
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: this affected you, and I can see why you want

821
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,800
Speaker 1: to expound on it to help other people out because

822
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: you talked about how certain experiences or how following the

823
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 1: script affected your life. He was like, girl, because as

824
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 1: I'm writing this book, like so I go through two

825
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: different phases of writing. I go through the part where

826
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm just giving you the information um, and then I

827
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: go through and I'm like, Okay, how have I experienced

828
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,479
Speaker 1: this information? Like here's the story or you know, if

829
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: there is if I feel like a story would help here,

830
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: if I haven't done something or experience something, is there

831
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 1: somebody I know whose story I can't share. So in

832
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: the sharing of these stories in this book, I was like,

833
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 1: oh wow, like I'm about to just tell my business.

834
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,280
Speaker 1: But the thing is, like, I think that's what people

835
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 1: enjoy most about my books, Like and not even from

836
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: a standpoint of like she did this and she did that,

837
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 1: Like unless you know who I am, you don't know

838
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:52,479
Speaker 1: who I am. So that's not like it's more so

839
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: too just show people Like yeah, me too, Like I'm

840
00:51:57,239 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 1: not telling you this from a space of I just

841
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 1: know it and I've never gone through anything in my

842
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: life like I'm down here with y'all. I'm in the

843
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,239
Speaker 1: trenches with y'all. I'm still going through a lot of

844
00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 1: the things I write about with y'all. Like, but I

845
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: just as I learned, I share, and that's how we

846
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: get to a full book at a certain point, like

847
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 1: I learned enough to put it together and say, Okay,

848
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 1: here's the next thing I learned. So this is what

849
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 1: you're going through. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

850
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 1: Here's what I know, Here's how I know it. Um.

851
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: I just think that that makes it feels more. I

852
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 1: don't know, like it resonates more because it's not coming

853
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 1: from a space of like I'm up here and I

854
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 1: know more and I'm the guru and I'm the you know,

855
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 1: like and all of y'all y'all don't know nothing. I'm

856
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: just so enlightened. I'm just so elevated. I'm just like

857
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,960
Speaker 1: I'm not, I am regular. But I think that's why

858
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: your platform has been so successed for us, because I

859
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 1: really recognized real if people want real ship, not for

860
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 1: real they do, they do, they want real stories. And

861
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 1: like I realized that I exist in this like self help,

862
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: you know, personal development space. And first of all, this

863
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: space is very white, so you are another hour, right,

864
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 1: but it's like it's already like I can barely resonate

865
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: with this as it is, So I just got to

866
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:37,920
Speaker 1: pull the pieces out that I can, you know, pull

867
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: and try to use that. But like there's very much

868
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: this tone of I've elevated, I've gotten up to this level,

869
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 1: and so now I'm going to tell you people beneath me,

870
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 1: how to get up to my level, and you can't

871
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: do it. You're lazy, you're this, You're that, you're not

872
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 1: trying hard enough. And I hate eat that tone, Like

873
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because I've been a teacher.

874
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, you can't talk to people like that and

875
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: then tell them what they need to be doing like that.

876
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: That doesn't work. What work anywhere? What my girls said,

877
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: get your ass up and go to the work, It

878
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:24,800
Speaker 1: doesn't work. It doesn't work. Like you can't just tell

879
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,440
Speaker 1: people I'm up here. And then it's like, you know

880
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 1: that's a lie, right, Like you know that you didn't

881
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 1: just come out the couchie knowing all these things like

882
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 1: you you didn't. You have to learn, you had to grow,

883
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 1: And instead of being real and sharing those stories about

884
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: how you got to this understanding or there's knowing this

885
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 1: thing you want to share, you want to make it

886
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 1: seem like, yeah, I just know this, I've just been

887
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 1: doing this and if you if I can do it,

888
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 1: you can do it. And if you're not doing it,

889
00:54:56,239 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 1: then that's on you because it's like you can't this

890
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 1: is what you need to be doing, and you're all

891
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 1: so worried about this that y'all need to be doing that.

892
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 1: I would never come with that tone, even though there

893
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 1: are sometimes where I'd be like, Okay, guys, this isn't

894
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: like we're focused on the wrong things if we can

895
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: just sip a little bit. But I don't come with

896
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 1: that kind of tone because I know people don't hear that.

897
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 1: It just offends people and makes people feel like you're

898
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,160
Speaker 1: calling them them or that you're telling them that they're

899
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 1: not good enough. And I'm never ever going to do that,

900
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: like ever. I think that's awful and that's not a

901
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 1: way to help people change. I prefer to learn the

902
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 1: way that I like to learn, which is like, oh,

903
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 1: you've done this before, can you show me how to

904
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 1: do it? Okay, let's go, and then I tell you

905
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: exactly what I did. And that doesn't mean that I'm,

906
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,399
Speaker 1: you know, above it. That doesn't mean that I don't

907
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: still have issues. That doesn't mean that I don't still

908
00:55:56,600 --> 00:56:00,040
Speaker 1: be sitting around here burnt out and stress and I

909
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:04,360
Speaker 1: here and I'm set, you know, I'm not the queen

910
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 1: of self care all the time. Like sometimes life be

911
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 1: life in and that's just what it is. But do

912
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 1: I have some tools based on you know, experience and things. Yes,

913
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 1: I do. And so when I calm down and remember,

914
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: oh yeah, okay, we know what we're doing, we know

915
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: what's happening, we know we're going through. Okay, let's really

916
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 1: back in. Everything's all right because I'd be dramatic. Yea,

917
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: I am dramatic all the time. This guy be falling

918
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:38,839
Speaker 1: all the time. And to be like it's okay, you

919
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: can relax, like you don't have to be this way,

920
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:47,239
Speaker 1: like stop, really back in, girl. And I think people

921
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 1: are surprised to hear that because they're like, wait, you

922
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,399
Speaker 1: wrote the book, Yes, I wrote it. They don't mean

923
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 1: now I mean not do it like to do? Like

924
00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 1: we all know what to do, do we do it right?

925
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,799
Speaker 1: So in what ways did dark feminists show up in

926
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:12,719
Speaker 1: your life? Chill? It is always showing up. Always, it

927
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,879
Speaker 1: is right here all the time, just like hey girl,

928
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 1: hey it it mostly shows up. As I will say this,

929
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 1: like back of my mind thought of like are you

930
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 1: doing this because you want to do it? Or are

931
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: you doing this because somebody told you you had tom

932
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 1: that's a big like. On the regular basis, I have

933
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: those kinds of thoughts, like if I'm like, I gotta

934
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:43,960
Speaker 1: get this done. I gotta do that, I gotta put

935
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 1: this together. I gotta post on social media sixteen times

936
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: a day because that's what all the business girls are

937
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 1: saying to do. I gotta do this. And it's like, okay,

938
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 1: but is that what makes you happy? Is that what

939
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: feels good to you? Is that what feels right? Is

940
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:03,680
Speaker 1: that what resonate? Or are you following the script? Are

941
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 1: you following the status quo? Are you doing what the

942
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: people said do even though it doesn't resonate with you?

943
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh okay. So then I'm like, well,

944
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 1: my plans are going to change because now we're clear

945
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: about what makes sense for me, even if it doesn't

946
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:26,000
Speaker 1: make sense for somebody else, even if the so called

947
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 1: experts would be like, oh my gosh, no, you can't

948
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: do that. Like I have built a whole brand off

949
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: doing things people said you shouldn't do. They said you

950
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: shouldn't talk about your vagina on the internet. Hi, Hello,

951
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:44,000
Speaker 1: Like what I'm doing? They said you shouldn't tell people

952
00:58:44,120 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: that you got this, you did that. That's what's helping people.

953
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: That's what's making me feel good because I know that

954
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 1: people are coming back and saying, this is exactly what

955
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,440
Speaker 1: I needed to hear, This is exactly what I needed

956
00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: to see. You. Sharing your story has done so much

957
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 1: for me and made me feel brave enough to share

958
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 1: my experiences and do the things that I know I

959
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: needed to do. So yeah, I pretty much be swimming

960
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 1: in the dark shipment. She is always like, I don't

961
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 1: like that. No, we're not doing it that way. We're

962
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: doing it this way. And I'm like, what, No, people

963
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 1: are gonna laugh at us. People are gonna say, no,

964
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: this is crazy. You can't do that. You can't talk

965
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:27,960
Speaker 1: about this, you can't name a book pussy Prayers, you

966
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 1: can't like. But I look at those parts of myself.

967
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: But I will say that, like, since I know what

968
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 1: it means, I feel like, since I have been embracing it,

969
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:45,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm finally at home with myself. Yes, yes,

970
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: I when I first started writing the book, I left

971
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 1: this part out. But when I first started writing the book,

972
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: I compare the dark feminine to like the stuff we

973
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: shove in a basement. Right, So, we living on all

974
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 1: the other floors in this house, but this basement keeps

975
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: filling up with who knows what, and eventually you can't

976
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 1: even open the door because it's so stuffed full of things.

977
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: So you're like, Okay, I gotta get in there. I

978
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: gotta move some stuff out. I gotta and you don't

979
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,439
Speaker 1: even know what's down there. You just gotta way through

980
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:19,600
Speaker 1: and climb over boxes and open stuff up and say, oh,

981
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: that's where it is. Went okay, figure out what you

982
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: want to keep, what you don't want to keep, and then,

983
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 1: like you said, it's like you can finally feel at home.

984
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: You finally feel like, Okay, there's not this space in

985
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 1: my home that I'm avoiding because it's packed full of

986
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 1: stuff I don't want to deal with. There's not this

987
01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 1: space in my home that I can't use because I

988
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 1: filled it full of who knows what and I'm overwhelmed

989
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:49,520
Speaker 1: and afraid of what's down there. You know, now you've

990
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 1: got this beautiful, big space to do whatever you're gonna

991
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 1: do with it and make it your own and enjoy it.

992
01:00:55,680 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 1: Right feeling more at home. That was the metaphor or

993
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 1: that I was gonna use throughout the book, and then

994
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 1: eventually I was like, this is annoying. I don't want

995
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 1: to do this, but the fact that you said that,

996
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm glad that it came across it. It did for sure.

997
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 1: So what are some ways that someone can tap into

998
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 1: their dark feminine energy doing whatever you wanna do? Just

999
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 1: do it, Just do it, Just whatever is the very

1000
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: thing that you're like, oh my god, I can't do that,

1001
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 1: Go do it. Go do it. You don't have to

1002
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 1: tell anybody, you don't have anybody's permission, you don't have

1003
01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 1: to run it past anybody. Go do it. If you

1004
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 1: decide you want to put on a pink wig and

1005
01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 1: a two to and take yourself out to dinner, go

1006
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 1: do that. Don't ask nobody about it. Don't say, oh girl,

1007
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 1: can you please come with me because I'm scared. Go

1008
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: do it and see how much more free you feel,

1009
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 1: See how much more confident you feel in your decision.

1010
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 1: To see how much more joy and and fulfill and

1011
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 1: satisfaction that you feel because you're like, I can do

1012
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 1: whatever I want. Like And that's why people be so confused.

1013
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 1: Because I was confused because I was super busy listening

1014
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: to what everybody else thought that I should be doing

1015
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 1: instead of doing what I know I should be doing.

1016
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 1: And I think, if if I want to follow my

1017
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 1: follow my thoughts and how I felt a long time ago,

1018
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 1: I really do believe, and I do believe like everything

1019
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: happens for a reason. But I think I would have

1020
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 1: found my way to where I'm at now a lot sooner.

1021
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,560
Speaker 1: So stop working people what they think like it's okay

1022
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,200
Speaker 1: to act like maybe one too, because sometimes you do

1023
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 1: need some type of advice or guidance like everybody else.

1024
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: Because people be people be hating and they be blocking you.

1025
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:50,160
Speaker 1: They'd be fear projecting, like exactly that they're projecting all

1026
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 1: their stuff onto you, unless you know it's somebody who's

1027
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:57,760
Speaker 1: on the same way, like doing whatever. Because this is

1028
01:02:57,800 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 1: what became the life to do. We we came to

1029
01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 1: the realm to experience life, you know, and and feel good.

1030
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 1: It's not supposed to be struggling strife. It is not

1031
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 1: supposed to be all this like we're supposed to have fun.

1032
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 1: We're supposed to be good. We're supposed to enjoy ourselves often.

1033
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 1: And that's not to say that bad things won't happen

1034
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 1: or sad things won't happen. Or violent things won't happen,

1035
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,920
Speaker 1: but we know how to regulate ourselves and keep ourselves

1036
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 1: safe and all those kinds of things. But for the

1037
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 1: most part, it's supposed to be a good time, Like

1038
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: we're supposed to go out of here at the end

1039
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,160
Speaker 1: of our life, like, oh, I had a blast, like

1040
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 1: a good time, like you know them elders who would

1041
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:43,680
Speaker 1: be like I lived, like I did everything that I

1042
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and they are satisfied. And then you

1043
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 1: have those elders who are like, I'm so full of regret,

1044
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: I'm so you know, sad, I didn't do this, I

1045
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:54,880
Speaker 1: didn't do that. I let people talk to me out

1046
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 1: of this and that, and now what do I have

1047
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:59,560
Speaker 1: to show for it? Like I'm just here waiting to

1048
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: leave because my time is over, Like there's nothing I

1049
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: can do about it. And I didn't do most of

1050
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 1: the things that I wish I would have done, And

1051
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 1: so I would hate to get to the end of

1052
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: my life and feel like I didn't do any of

1053
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 1: the things that I wanted to do or at least

1054
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 1: explore see about it, you know, like just all these

1055
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,520
Speaker 1: because we all have those desires. We all have like

1056
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: I wanna buy a really fancy RV and just travel

1057
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: around the country. A lot of people will be like,

1058
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're a black woman. You can't do that.

1059
01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 1: That's why would you do that? Where you gonna keep it?

1060
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: That's too expensive? Why would you spend all that money

1061
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,919
Speaker 1: on that? Why wouldn't you just get in the van?

1062
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you just go fly to a place and

1063
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 1: then fly back home? Like you know, Like it's just like,

1064
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 1: if I let people talk me out of what I

1065
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 1: want to do, I'm never gonna do it. And I'm

1066
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,360
Speaker 1: gonna be ninety eight years old. Like you know what

1067
01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 1: I wish I had done. I wish I had say,

1068
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:59,280
Speaker 1: my little money, got my RV, visited every state because

1069
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:01,440
Speaker 1: that's what I want to do, and then came on

1070
01:05:01,480 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 1: back home like and have those stories to tell. I

1071
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 1: would love to do that. But letting people talk me

1072
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 1: out of that, which you know, if I wasn't aware

1073
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 1: of that's what was happening, I would never do it.

1074
01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 1: And we all have those interests and things we want

1075
01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:18,240
Speaker 1: to explore like that. It might not be that grand, right,

1076
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 1: but if we just get comfortable relying on our own validation,

1077
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 1: relying on our own sense of this is what I

1078
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:31,040
Speaker 1: want to do. I don't know what the outcome is

1079
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 1: gonna be. He's gonna see like, you know, I can't

1080
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:37,560
Speaker 1: be scared of it, you know, unless it's completely just

1081
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 1: you know, you want to climb out everest or something,

1082
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 1: in which case your things safety. But there are things

1083
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:47,240
Speaker 1: to be afraid of there, you know. But you know,

1084
01:05:47,360 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 1: for most of us, it ain't that big. You know,

1085
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 1: that big deal. It ain't. We're just so afraid of

1086
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 1: what people are gonna say and when people are gonna think,

1087
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: and when people are gonna unless you planning to go

1088
01:05:58,360 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 1: on like a murder spree or or something like, what

1089
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 1: people think of you is not that deep black. Let

1090
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:08,440
Speaker 1: you think whatever, and you're going to be happy because

1091
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 1: you have done the thing you wanted to do. So

1092
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 1: if we could just get more comfortable with that. Doing

1093
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 1: the little stuff first, you know, going to see a

1094
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,840
Speaker 1: movie you want to see even though nobody wanted to

1095
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,440
Speaker 1: go with you, Going to a restaurant you wanted to

1096
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 1: go to, even though you couldn't find anybody who wanted

1097
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:26,920
Speaker 1: to go with you, shaving your head, I don't know,

1098
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: piercing something that people would be like, oh, that's unprofessionally.

1099
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 1: I can't do that. Go do the things, and I

1100
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:38,560
Speaker 1: promise everything will line up. Hey man, yo, I have

1101
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 1: to say, man, and I don't need to toot my whore,

1102
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 1: but I will say the conversations on this show, y'all.

1103
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 1: Oh man, this this was a really amazing conversation. I

1104
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:53,640
Speaker 1: wish I would have had this conversation a lot sooner,

1105
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:59,280
Speaker 1: like this was amazing. Like, I'm so thankful for you.

1106
01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 1: Because of you, I was able to get my first

1107
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:08,240
Speaker 1: article Cole I wrote about the first book. Remember, yeah,

1108
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 1: I think that, Like I really do feel like um,

1109
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: and the conversations are so necessary. Man, there they are

1110
01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 1: and nobody's having them. And it's like we can't keep

1111
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:27,560
Speaker 1: going through life like this, like we've seen that's worked

1112
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:31,320
Speaker 1: out for our mothers and grandmothers and aunties and everybody else,

1113
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 1: Like we have to do something different, and if we're

1114
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: not brave enough to do something different, we can't then

1115
01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 1: go and tell the people coming after us, you gotta

1116
01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 1: be brave, you gotta do this. They gotta because they're

1117
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:46,640
Speaker 1: gonna look at us and say, well, you didn't do it.

1118
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 1: What you're telling me for you know, it's it's not

1119
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:53,920
Speaker 1: going to resonate. So if anything is going to change,

1120
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 1: it has to change now. It can't change the next generation.

1121
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:01,200
Speaker 1: It has to happen right now. And even the parts

1122
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: of me that are like nobody else is doing this,

1123
01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:06,560
Speaker 1: and nobody else is talking about this. Should I be

1124
01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 1: talking about this? I'm on the right track. Let me

1125
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:15,400
Speaker 1: try and find some bigger platform, some more successful people

1126
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 1: to prove to myself that it can be done. I've

1127
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:24,599
Speaker 1: not found them yet, so it's like, Okay, can we

1128
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 1: just go see what we're doing and see how it

1129
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 1: works out. You know, I don't have still a very

1130
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:33,520
Speaker 1: big platform. I don't have a whole bunch of followers.

1131
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 1: I'm not making a whole bunch of money, Like, but

1132
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:40,760
Speaker 1: I feel like what I'm doing is what I'm supposed

1133
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:44,959
Speaker 1: to be doing because it feels good. It feels good,

1134
01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:48,800
Speaker 1: and then my conversations and things like this you just

1135
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 1: said it, it's like because of you. I could do

1136
01:08:51,320 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 1: this because of you. I had this happened because of you,

1137
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 1: and I had to get those stories all the time,

1138
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:00,840
Speaker 1: And it's like, what would it happened if I would

1139
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 1: have never wrote those books? What would have happened if

1140
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,599
Speaker 1: I would have wrote the books, but I wouldn't make

1141
01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:11,760
Speaker 1: them real big and flowery and nice. You know, so

1142
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:14,800
Speaker 1: many people would not be able to do or be

1143
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: or have whatever it was that they were doing. But

1144
01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: because I just put it all out there, all the people,

1145
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 1: my business, and so many people have been helped, so

1146
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:31,000
Speaker 1: many lives have been changed. And so if nothing else,

1147
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 1: like if you need an example of just doing whatever

1148
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:41,080
Speaker 1: the hell you want to do, yeah, greeting hello. Well,

1149
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 1: like every show, you know, we gotta do our ritual.

1150
01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:51,800
Speaker 1: You gotta close us out with a prayer. All right,

1151
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:56,679
Speaker 1: let's see, let's see. Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right,

1152
01:09:57,400 --> 01:10:01,439
Speaker 1: um okay. First, giving honor and all praises to the

1153
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:04,879
Speaker 1: dark mothers, the wounds from which we were birth, the

1154
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:08,800
Speaker 1: divine darkness from which all of the universe came, into

1155
01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:12,120
Speaker 1: which all you know, we will all return. We want

1156
01:10:12,200 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 1: to give honor and thanks to the darkness because it

1157
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:18,400
Speaker 1: provides all that we need from the time we are

1158
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:22,439
Speaker 1: babies in the womb. Every seed that provides the food

1159
01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:25,280
Speaker 1: that we eat comes from the darkness. The water that

1160
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:28,320
Speaker 1: we drink comes from the darkness of the earth. Every

1161
01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 1: single thing that we could possibly need or be, or

1162
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:34,479
Speaker 1: do or have comes from the dark, and we just

1163
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:42,360
Speaker 1: give thanks for everything that we have received from divine darkness.

1164
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:46,639
Speaker 1: I pray that everyone within the sound of my voice

1165
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:50,680
Speaker 1: is able to tap into the parts of themselves that

1166
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,880
Speaker 1: they were told were too much, that they were told

1167
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:55,240
Speaker 1: were inappropriate, that they were told were on lady like,

1168
01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:59,880
Speaker 1: that they were told were unacceptable, that they could not be,

1169
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: that they could not explore, that they could not do.

1170
01:11:03,479 --> 01:11:06,200
Speaker 1: Tap into that, so that they could be the people

1171
01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:08,360
Speaker 1: they came here to be, so they can do the

1172
01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 1: things they came here to do. Is they could have

1173
01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 1: all of the blessings they came here to have an experience.

1174
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:18,760
Speaker 1: I know that once we tap into that darkness, once

1175
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:21,719
Speaker 1: we go in there and we turn lights on and

1176
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:24,839
Speaker 1: we say what's going on in here, we will find

1177
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 1: all of the joy and the fulfillment and the satisfaction

1178
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:31,000
Speaker 1: and comfort and ease that we have been looking for

1179
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:38,480
Speaker 1: our entire lives. I pray abundance and joy and comfort,

1180
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:42,360
Speaker 1: and bless too, all of the people listening to this,

1181
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:47,760
Speaker 1: And I of course bless our wonderful host for her

1182
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:52,680
Speaker 1: willingness to step into her destiny and her power to

1183
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:59,120
Speaker 1: do and be and have all that she desires and deserves. Child,

1184
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:04,000
Speaker 1: You've got me over here tearing up. Oh my god,

1185
01:12:04,080 --> 01:12:07,400
Speaker 1: that was amazing. Where y'all know y'all get a prayer?

1186
01:12:08,439 --> 01:12:14,599
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I have any questions, comments, and concerns,

1187
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:16,559
Speaker 1: please make sure to email me and hello at the

1188
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 1: PhD podcast dot com. Aaron, my guest is anonymous for

1189
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:23,599
Speaker 1: her platform is not, so please make sure to support

1190
01:12:24,160 --> 01:12:29,120
Speaker 1: Black Girl bless her book. Power Unleashing your Divine, Dark

1191
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:35,080
Speaker 1: Feminine from We All Women of Color is available everywhere.

1192
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:38,320
Speaker 1: Please make sure to support y'all. This was an amazing

1193
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:45,840
Speaker 1: conversation and until next time. Everyone. Later, you're gonna say

1194
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:53,760
Speaker 1: bye oh bye bye guys every time like girls say

1195
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:55,400
Speaker 1: bye bye bye