WEBVTT - BEING A GECKO IN NYC 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.160 Hey, folks, lyle here for today's episode. I am not 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:06.560 in my normal studio. I recorded this one in the 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.399 middle of Washington Square Park in New York City, and 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:13.600 instead of taking phone calls, I talked to people face 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.320 to face like they used to do in ancient times. 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:20.120 I just got to say that of all the real 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:24.079 life street interview episodes I've done, this one is probably 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:27.280 my favorite. Everyone came with something interesting to say about themselves, 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:29.840 and the more I do these, the more I'm really 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:32.400 amazed at how many great stories there are out there, 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:36.320 just in all these random people walking by. It really 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.840 did blow me away. And I'm gonna shut up because 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.840 I hate intros, and I hope you enjoy the episode. Hello, 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.720 I am here in New York City at Washington Square Park. 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:51.800 It is a beautiful energy. There's people running all around. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.760 We're sweating on each other, spitting on each other, soaking 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:59.400 up each other's juices, each other's energies. It's a wonderful scene. 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:02.000 It feels like it's Woodstock here all the time, and 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.720 I love it. I love Washington Square Park. I'm stoked 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:08.920 to be here, and uh, I'm ready to talk to 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:12.720 some people. So let's get into it and uh do 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:16.000 some do some get going then step into my office. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:21.160 The pleasure to have you here, I appreciate it. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:23.560 It's a beautiful day out here out of Washington Square Park, 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:24.360 New York City. 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:27.960 Way outside, it's icy school in the cut. It's nice 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.160 in here. It's like a Thursday morning and it's like 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:32.280 lit here. It's it feels like it's like a music 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:34.720 festival here every day or something. Oh yeah, for sure, 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:36.880 there's always some interesting going on in this plug. You 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.000 feel me. You gonna be interesting people every single day. 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.720 You just is just it's an unpredictable environment, but in 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:44.720 a in a good way. You feel me. It's like 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:46.240 you want to be here, you want to see what 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:48.640 was about to happen. What's your name? Man? My name 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.920 is Scooby. Scooby. Very nice to meet, Nice to meet you. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:52.600 What do you do you live around here? Do you 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:53.560 come here often? Yeah? 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:56.680 Of course I'm residing in the branch right now uptown, 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:58.320 But yeah, I be coming up and coming out here 0:01:58.320 --> 0:01:59.800 for a little over a year and a half now 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:03.760 out bread meeting new people, promoting my music, all party promotions, 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:04.520 all that stuff. 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:07.360 You make music? What what kinds of like themes do 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:10.560 you make music about? Like what inspires the tunes I 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:11.079 grew up. 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:14.600 I grew up listening to rap, and my one of 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.919 my biggest inspirations was definitely Mike my little rest in peace. 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.000 You feel me? But I like missing it up. 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:23.480 I like and incorporating a little bit of like grunge rock, 0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:27.560 that type of that type of shay into my rap music. 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.120 And I like just making that. I like making it 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:32.640 my own like that ReLit. That's awesome. It's Scooby. Like 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.320 your your artist's name or do you have a name? 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:38.880 My artist name is Icy Schoob Icy y Space s 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:43.320 c o O B on my all platforms, Apple Music, SoundCloud, Spotify, 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:44.040 how much. 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.679 Check it out after this? So, Scooby, listen. I heard 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:48.800 you before you wanted to come on. You were like 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:51.200 talking with your friend over there, and you were like, Man, 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.000 should I talk about this thing going on with this person? 0:02:54.760 --> 0:02:56.400 And you were like debating whether or not to talk 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.040 about it? How do you feel? Do you want to? 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.119 You don't have to, but you want to talk about it. 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.920 So, so it's some little spicy shit going on, it 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.959 ain't I'm gonna just keep it short and sweet, like 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:09.000 I said, so long story, Shore, I ended up meeting 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:13.320 this girl. She had some little bit of ex boyfriend problems. 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:16.799 Whatever the cases me made me try to trust her. 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:17.560 Whatever the case is. 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:19.440 Boom boom boom, long story Shore. 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:24.280 We had We had linked up one day, did a 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:27.200 little song song, took a couple of videos, and then 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.440 we sent some of those videos to her ex boyfriend. 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:33.480 You you sent videos to her? She has she has 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.640 told me to long story, whatever the cases. 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:37.200 Me and her, we had a little falling out not 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:39.120 too long ago, by like a couple of days ago, 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.080 and I went over to her quairidor pick up like 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:43.760 some of my stuff that I had left, a couple 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:48.760 of like little necklace, whatever the cases. And when she 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.640 opens the door, her ex is in the apartment with her, 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.640 and I'm like, whoaed on? So now I'm just like, yo, 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:58.680 I'm not even gonna hold you. I'm not even mad 0:03:58.680 --> 0:03:59.640 because this nigga. 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:01.320 Looks like a and you look like a thought. 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:03.600 Because how you're going to take back the base that 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.400 you saw her get fucked. 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:10.520 By the next man? Damn? Were you like now when 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:13.720 she so is her idea? You said she said the video? 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:16.320 Let me ask yourself when when when she brought the 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.680 idea up. Were you on board immediately or were you like, 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:20.280 I don't know. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:22.320 That could maybe the first thing that popped up to 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:23.919 my head was like, how are you gonna tell me 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:24.600 you over this? 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:26.400 Dude? But you want to do this? 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.240 But also I don't give a fuck because I'm gonna 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.719 fuck sure. 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:33.480 Because it's it's an interesting thing, right because if if 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:36.640 she were really over exactly what youldn't even want? You 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:39.920 wouldn't want that that type of reaction. I don't. 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:42.719 So, I mean I played my part, did what I did, 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:44.000 and I still come out on top. 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.839 Do you like filming yourself? I mean when I'm putting 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:49.839 in that work, of course? Okay? Do you when when 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.120 when the cameras on you, do you feel like an 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:55.599 extra pressure to perform? And I know extra pressure because 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:57.640 that's just what I do. Is just it's just me. 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:58.360 I was just crashing. 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:02.479 Okay, you were yourself on cameras, of course, because that's 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:03.440 a natural shit to do. 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:06.360 Mm hmm. So you're not seeing this girl anymore? How? 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:06.480 No? 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:10.120 Well you you don't even catch me dead ne near 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.080 her crib? And what is next for you and your 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.880 dating life? For you meeting you said you're meeting all 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:16.839 kinds of people, are you? 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.839 I'm always meeting you people. I'm never I'm never afraid 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:20.880 to put myself out there. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:21.480 You feel me? 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.839 Onto the next chapter. It is what it is. It was. 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.120 It was a fling over it. 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:27.920 I ain't feeling no type of way about it, because, 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:29.640 like I said, I still came out on top and 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:30.839 they both cloked black clowns. 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:31.800 Right now, So let me. 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:32.200 Ask you this. 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.599 Uh, you've been having all these flings, right, Is any 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.360 part of you like looking for a wife, looking to 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:41.520 settle down or are you just you know, having fun. 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.800 You gotta understand, I'm young, I'm only twenty two years old. 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.960 I'm about to be twenty three. I don't I ain't 0:05:47.000 --> 0:05:50.440 really looking for no life partners. Something solidified, Yo, if 0:05:50.480 --> 0:05:52.279 you fucking with me, if you're fucking with my bob 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:53.080 and I'm fucking. 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:54.880 With chores, and we just go from there and see 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:58.360 see where blooms. Is there a type of how would 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:02.080 you describe the vibe of the type of person that 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:05.800 you get along with. I like people who are themselves, 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:06.359 you feel me. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:09.599 I like people who don't act a certain way because 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:12.120 they're with a different type of crowd, you feel me. 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.279 You gotta you gotta be genuine with yourself, and you 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:16.720 gotta be genuine with the people that you surround yourself with, 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:19.760 because that's that's the kind of people that you're gonna attract. 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:24.400 You feel me. Have you always been very much like 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:26.600 comfortable being yourself? Of course? 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.160 Of course, obviously growing up it was it was a 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.000 little difficult to come to terms with like the type 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.000 of person that I am. But like, as you get older, 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.480 you just learn to grow into your mold and then 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.000 you just pretty much just evolve into the person that. 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:41.599 You need to become. You said that you felt like 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:43.919 it was kind of difficult for you to come to 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:45.760 terms with the type of person you am you are 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.040 just now when I was younger, when you were. 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.720 Can I ask why you felt like it was difficult? Well, 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:53.360 it was just because I just I just felt so insecure. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.320 I was an secure type of person, you feel me. 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:56.600 It was just like this, uh. 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.040 Growing up with I grew up, I got bullied a 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:01.080 lot for my weight and shit, really yeah, I used 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:02.680 to I used to be a little heavier when I 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.640 was younger. I used to be a little tubby, But no, 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.520 no more. I don't really care because it's just like 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.240 people like me for who I am. It ain't It 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:12.880 ain't about how I look, It's about how I carry myself. 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:15.440 So I'm just gonna continue carrying myself the way that 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:15.880 I'm going to. 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:19.440 So in the journey from being insecure about your way 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:21.760 and people bullying you and whatnot to where you are now, 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:25.080 where you seem very comfortable with yourself, Like, what what 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.680 do you think was it that kind of got you 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:31.760 from that insecure point to where you are now? If 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:32.920 you want me to keep it up up with you, 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.400 I took a lot of LSD. Okay, you know, I 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.800 know you're not the first person to like, actually literally 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:39.920 we I've been doing all these live shows and I 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:42.680 just had someone last night come up and be like, yeah, 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:46.480 I also on LSD had like a realization that that changed. 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:47.840 Tell me about the trip? 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:48.320 What what? 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:50.600 What? What was it that made you come to this realization? 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.560 Honestly, I was just I was in my bedroom, I 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.320 was smoking for my bong, and I was just like, 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:57.920 I forgot which anime I was watching. It was either 0:07:57.920 --> 0:07:59.840 a comic got killed or hunts like Hunter one that 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:02.880 I'm too. But I was like I was in my 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.560 room and it was hot. I was like sweating like crazy. 0:08:07.560 --> 0:08:10.080 I just I was like, I guess I'm gonna take. 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:10.679 Off my shirt. 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:12.640 And where I was sitting on there was like a 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:14.720 mirror right in front of me in my bedroom at 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:17.640 the time. So I'm just like staring at myself in 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:19.760 the mirror with my shirt off, tripping balls, and. 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.800 I'm just like, this is me. 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:25.800 I can't I can't hate this person because this is 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.760 literally me. So I just at that point, I'm like, 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.920 I bet funk all that shit, mink, throw that shit 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:34.200 out the window, and now I'm just happy with literally 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:35.160 everything about myself. 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:38.040 That's wonderful, man, it is. It is a weird thing, 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.600 Like when you're tripping and you're looking at yourself in 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:43.200 the mirror and you're like, that's me. I'm a guy. 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:47.319 I actually exist. That's my form. You're trying to learn 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:50.040 to love yourself. I like that, man, I appreciate it. 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:52.440 I appreciate it. Scooby, what's next for you in the future. 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:55.360 I know you're working on music, but like, where do 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:57.600 you want your life to go? Man? What do you 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.480 see for yourself? Man? 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:02.280 In reality, I just see myself swimming this money, swimming 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:04.680 this pussy and just swimming in these drugs. 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:05.600 You feel me. I'm happy. 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:08.160 I'm content with the path that I'm choosing. I'm content 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.160 with the path that I'm going down on right now. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:13.160 And I just see a lot of just a lot 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.079 of success in my future. And I'm just gonna keep 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:16.840 following that stall. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:18.839 I love that. Man. I'm wishing you success too, so 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:20.719 I appreciate it. Anything else you want to say to 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:23.400 the people of the computer before we go, man, just 0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:26.599 follow me on Instagram, I c O y s x 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:27.160 oo B. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.880 You feel me, run up my streams on SoundCloud and 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:34.320 Apple Music, Spotify, ic school, you feel me, and just 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:36.360 staying soon because it's not gonna be the last you 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:36.760 seeing me. 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.240 I swim. Can I ask one last segal? Where did 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.839 Scooby come from? Alright? So no. 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:47.800 Quickly after I turned thirteen, I moved from South from 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.200 North New York to South Carolina, and I went to 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:52.360 there my high school years. 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:53.679 I ended up meeting this one dude. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:55.920 His name his name was Brian, but he went by 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.959 the name Shaggy, and I'm him all the time. 0:09:59.440 --> 0:09:59.840 Smoking. 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.760 We're smoking every day, eating a lot, munching a lot. 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:06.480 He was a white boy, and I'm a little like colored. 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:08.800 You feel me? So we just ended up being that shaggy. 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.480 Fuck it, that's Scooby. Okay. I was gonna ask if 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:12.080 there was a Shaggy. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:13.560 I don't want to be corny, but I'm not gonna 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:15.480 hold you your free moss On Shaggy though he got 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.320 locked up long ago. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:17.880 He got. 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:24.920 You. Just free moss Son though, for real. 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:28.560 Free Shaggy maybe? 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:30.040 Uh? 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:33.120 And then what is your Instagram again? I see y 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:36.040 s x O O B I see y yo Shaggy. 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.040 Thank you very much for talking to man. I appreciate 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:42.240 this won't be the last I'm seeing to you. Take 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.240 care man? How fuck with that guy? 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:44.880 Hello? 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.800 All right? I like this jacket? Is that genuine animal? 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:49.600 For no? 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.080 I would never you would never know you're above that. 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:52.640 Yeah? 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.640 What's your name? I'm Jade, Jade, veryness to meet? Sure? 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.120 What's what's life like? Jade? 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:02.600 If at the moment is a bit crazy? 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:03.640 Why is it crazy? 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:04.400 Well? 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.960 So I was engaged, okay, and I'm not anymore. 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:10.920 That's that's that's pretty crazy. 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:11.240 Yeah. 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.520 How long were you with the person before you were 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:14.120 engaged with them? 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:19.760 About a year? Okay, Yeah, about a year and now 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:25.040 we're not, and I'm trying to navigate that. I feel 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:26.880 like I've gone a bit cold after it. 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:29.640 Really yeah, did were you like you believed in love 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:30.360 and now you don't? 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.520 It was like a complete hopeless romantic and I was like, 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.160 this is it, this is forever blah blah blah. Then 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:40.480 some thing's happened and then I'm like it doesn't exist anymore. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:45.080 When you were in your hopeless romantic love, what was like, 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.319 what were your thoughts about love? Like? What was engulfing 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:49.079 you in that moment? 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.840 I was like, I was like the girl that like 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.840 always like had my dream wedding planned out, like loved 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.360 like needed like that to happen. And then I'm pretty young, 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.040 like I'm twenty three, so I got engaged at twenty two. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.080 Really yeah, did a lot of people in your life 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:05.920 tell you not to do that? 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:07.920 Actually everyone told me to do it? 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:08.800 Really yeah? 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.800 Because everyone really really liked himself. I won't say too much. 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:13.480 He's like, I don't know where this is going, but 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.360 everyone said go for it, like they thought it was 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:21.440 the right idea. They're happy for me, I mean, but 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:23.800 then after we ended, they were like, yeah, that probably 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:25.360 wasn't the best idea. I was like, well, you guys 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:27.719 could have told me that before I did it. But 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:30.960 but now I'm like, I'm like meeting new people, but 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:32.400 I'm like, it's not. 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:36.080 Really you're you had now when you meet a person, 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.560 you're like, I can see this h two years into 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:40.160 the future. 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:43.839 It's red flags and like when they're not even there though. 0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:45.960 So if you're cool with telling us, like, what was 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:49.120 it that transitioned you from being hopelessly in love to 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:54.040 this new like you know, feelings about love and kind 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.640 of from a hopeful romantic to a hopeless one. 0:12:56.960 --> 0:13:02.679 I feel like confidence maybe, like and like relying more 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:06.240 on myself rather than I felt like I relied on 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:10.600 other people before. And I'm like, I don't need anyone 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.160 with myself, like and that's that's it. 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:15.680 That's very beautiful, by the way. That's I love that 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:17.600 because I think a lot of people they get lost 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:20.520 in the trap of like thinking that they need somebody 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:21.320 to complete them. 0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:24.160 But actually, because that was me completely like my whole 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:26.040 life pretty much, I was like, I feel like I 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.680 just need this one person. If I get this one person, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.000 like because I was such a hopeless romantic I'm like, 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.080 if I do this, if I get this person, if 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:34.880 they love me, like my life would be great, all 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.160 my problems are going to go away, blah blah blah. 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:41.640 But that obviously doesn't work like that. And I feel 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.400 like it comes from you. You know, and you're born you, 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.600 and you leave you so like and you're stuck with 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:49.760 you for the time between. 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:53.600 Yeah, Like that's that. It's an interesting thing because you 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.079 you you would like it to be that easy, right, Yes, 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:02.000 they're great you come into relationship with them, life's beautiful forever. 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:06.240 But actually you need to like do long, hard work 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.080 on your way with yourself and it's less of a 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:12.600 of a sexy notion because it's a long, arduous process 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:16.640 that really never ends ultimately. Yeah, but it's all for 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:18.400 the best, right because you're full because at the very 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.280 even though it's a harder thing, you're in control. Yeah, 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.680 you're like you you in a relationship, You're like, yeah, 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.120 fifty percent of control. 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.160 Is totally and now it's just like one hundred percent. 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.080 This sounds so cliche, No. 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.440 It's cliche. The cliche for a reason. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.720 Yeah, and like but now it's like one hundred percent 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.280 time for me, and like I'm I'm studying to be 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.760 a surgeon. So like now I'm like one hundred percent 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.200 of my time is dedicated for me and my school 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:47.960 and my career and my future. 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:49.360 And it's like. 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.080 I don't know what the word is, like beautiful, it 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:57.280 is very beautiful, like it's motivating. Then it's just like 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.880 my time, like my time is set for what I 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:04.200 want to do and I'm not picking up for anyone 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.240 else or answering to anyone else. 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.360 Can I ass you this? Because so this this relationship, 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:15.720 was your idea of love's soured or your idea of 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:21.920 this person specifically love? What was it that soured it? 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.200 Was it something about him or was it something about 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.320 just the general feeling of being in a relationship. 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:31.120 I think that my whole life, as I said, I 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.120 felt like if you had love, that like you had 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:38.360 everything or something you were, you made it. You Like 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.800 when I got engaged, I felt in that moment like 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.640 this is it. I made it. I got someone loves me, 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.440 someone you know, And I thought that that was like 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:53.400 the epitome of of the meaning of our lives. But 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:58.960 over the past few months, like I've realized that family 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:05.280 yep end your social life your work life, your personal life, 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.760 your spiritual life. Like there's so many components to like 0:16:08.880 --> 0:16:12.360 making your life happy, and it's not just love that 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:17.520 makes you And so yeah, I think that, I mean, yeah, 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:22.560 like that person specific definitely like soured it a bit, 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.840 But I think it's just the idea that love is 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.840 an added bonus onto your life, but it's not the 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.640 whole part of your Like it's not everything of your life. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.800 What kinds of things have you been doing that you 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:35.720 felt like you couldn't do when you were in the 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.400 relationship now that you're saying so. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:42.680 Much, so much. I've been going out a lot, but 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.560 like not like in a bad way, like I mean 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.840 going outs and like seeing my friends so much more. 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.040 I built my Like my sister's here right now. I've 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:52.800 had such a great relationship with my sister lately, my 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:57.640 mom more time for like my family. I've been grinding 0:16:57.720 --> 0:16:58.280 in school. 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:00.880 Like when you said you're to be you say you're 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.640 going to be a surgeon, I was like, that's gonna 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:04.640 take Are you gonna be working like one hundred hours 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:08.160 a week? Which you should, I mean it should be 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:11.760 everyone who is studying medicine. It should be really hard 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:13.119 to become a surgeon. You know. 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.960 It's just you don't want someone that has like no 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:21.439 work ethic working on your brain. But yeah no, uh, 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:25.320 time for a lot more time for God, a lot 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:28.520 more time for just whatever I want to do. Really, 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.359 and like I felt like I when I was in 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:35.800 that relationship, I was kind of scheduling my things around. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:37.359 The other person. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:39.480 Yeah, which, like I guess it is like that in 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:41.440 a relationship. It's like give and take or whatever. But 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.439 it's such a huge sense of freedom I feel now. 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:48.440 And I think I feel this freedom because I've learned 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:54.400 that love isn't Ever before when I had gone through 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:57.960 a breakup or what have you, like it felt devastating, 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:01.200 but this time around, it's been like so much more 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:02.040