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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's selling a helpful new product

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Speaker 1: called the portable Hole. Oh you need to escape a

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Speaker 1: boring meeting or a lane conversation, Just place the portable

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Speaker 1: hole on the ground, step in, and disappear into the

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Speaker 1: void forever.

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Speaker 2: Good genius.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could do it right now, but I

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Speaker 1: can't because it's time for Laser Stories, the segment where

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Speaker 1: we read weird news stories around the world, just like

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Speaker 1: everyone else does, except we've got a laser and there's

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Speaker 1: other unholy hole pluggers.

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Speaker 3: Just don't. This first laser story is out of Canada.

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Speaker 1: Recently, thousands of Canadians descended on the small town of Drumheller,

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Speaker 1: about seventy miles northeast of Calgary. Okay, the reason the

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Speaker 1: Tourism Board launched an all out assault on the world

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Speaker 1: record for largest gathering of people dressed as dinosaurs.

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Speaker 2: That's so good.

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Speaker 4: I just saw they try to do a bunch of

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Speaker 4: Kyle's in Kyle, Texas.

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Speaker 2: They didn't sell the records.

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Speaker 1: Not as cool as dinosaur gaped after they didn't yeah record.

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Speaker 1: The lame record of two hundred and fifty two dino

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Speaker 1: dress ups was set in Los Angeles five years ago.

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Speaker 4: Dude in like such a huge city too. They couldn't

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Speaker 4: do better than that exactly.

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Speaker 1: So they were one hundred percent positive they could beat that.

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Speaker 1: So the day came, and so did the cars and

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Speaker 1: all the costumes and even more cars.

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey, if you build it, they will come.

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Speaker 1: At one point, there were estimates of over six thousand

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Speaker 1: t rexes walking around.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, until.

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Speaker 4: A kid gets lost and can't find his mom because

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Speaker 4: everyone's in the same in place.

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Speaker 3: Look at this picture though, of the gathering.

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Speaker 1: It's so funny to see all of them all together.

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Speaker 3: In one place.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: And they dress their even some of them have clothes

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Speaker 4: on top of their dinosaur thing.

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Speaker 2: Is that's unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: There was a problem.

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Speaker 1: They only got an estimate of the number of t

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Speaker 1: rexes walking around. They weren't prepared to count that many

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Speaker 1: people showing up.

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Speaker 2: Count that.

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Speaker 1: The official count was supposed to be done by handing

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Speaker 1: out wristbands.

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Speaker 3: But they only had three thousand of.

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Speaker 2: Them, oh my god, and gone more than.

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Speaker 1: Three thousand, way more, And that would have been fine.

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Speaker 1: They could have just settled for three thousand as the number,

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Speaker 1: but a bunch of t rexes with wristbands were seen

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Speaker 1: leaving the event too early.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, and to break the.

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Speaker 1: Record, they all needed to stay in one spot for

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Speaker 1: a full minute, and that didn't happen.

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Speaker 2: Could follow the rules.

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Speaker 1: So officially, no record was broken, just all around dino chaos.

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Speaker 1: The tourist board announced the sad news on Facebook but

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Speaker 1: said don't worry.

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Speaker 3: They're making this an.

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Speaker 1: Annual thing and they say they will be fully prepared

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Speaker 1: next year. This next. Laser Stories out of Atlanta, Georgia

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Speaker 1: State University recently sent out about fifteen hundred welcome emails

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Speaker 1: for the upcoming school year.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, one problem though.

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Speaker 1: Not everyone who got them was actually accepted into the university.

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Speaker 3: Oh what Now, technically.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't an official acceptance letter, but the kids who

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Speaker 1: receive them definitely.

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Speaker 3: Got that impression.

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Speaker 2: Yikes.

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Speaker 1: So school realized the air and sent out retractions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah how long did they already call their grandma and.

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Speaker 3: Let her go?

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Speaker 1: The follow up notices explained the situation and told the

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Speaker 1: students they are still being considered.

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Speaker 3: But that didn't really help.

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Speaker 1: Ye one mom wrote to the school and said, our

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Speaker 1: daughter won't talk about it. She won't even come out

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Speaker 1: of her room all day.

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Speaker 3: That's right, But you know life is filled with disappointment, kids,

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Speaker 3: so get used to that.

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Speaker 2: I know I was gonna say, it's a little slice

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Speaker 2: of reality.

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Speaker 1: Georgia State says they will now be triple checking their

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Speaker 1: process to make sure this never happens again. And if

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Speaker 1: it does, then they're gonna have to start quadruple checking

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Speaker 1: to make sure it doesn't happen. Just in case they

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Speaker 1: need to redo on the reading, they will be prepared.

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Speaker 2: I think they need to take email one on one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this next laser story is out of summer madness,

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Speaker 1: oh so mad. The unofficial start of swimming pool season

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Speaker 1: is Memorial Day weekend day, and this year's hottest new

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Speaker 1: pool accessory may be the coolest ever.

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Speaker 2: What is it?

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Speaker 1: I say that because the candy company that makes airheads

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Speaker 1: have fully developed the first underwater vending machine. Here's how

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Speaker 1: it looks like on their website. We'll have the picture

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Speaker 1: on the Brook and Jeffrey inst stories. Brooks, how would

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Speaker 1: you just how would you describe what that looks like?

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Speaker 4: It looks like a vending machine that's just sat at

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Speaker 4: the bottom of a pool, jeff That says on it.

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Speaker 1: So, this first of its kind underwater vending machine dispenses

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Speaker 1: airheads wall submerged in a pool, and they're selling a

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Speaker 1: limited number of these online.

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Speaker 2: Okay, wait, here's that question.

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Speaker 4: How do you get it to drop to the bottom

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Speaker 4: of the machine when it's in the pool?

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Speaker 3: How do you shake it bring down there with you?

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Speaker 1: I do have answers for these. You're not going to

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Speaker 1: be feeding wet money into it. There's a screen that

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Speaker 1: asks you to pay by doing pool tricks in front

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Speaker 1: of it to get your cane. That's so good, like

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Speaker 1: backflax or pretending to be at a tea party.

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Speaker 2: Do you think even the machine is gonna get tired of? Look? Mom, look,

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Speaker 2: watch you didn't see you didn't see that one?

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Speaker 3: You've done thirty six? Can involved away kid. Of course,

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Speaker 3: this isn't gonna come cheap either.

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Speaker 1: They say the machines will come with a lifetime supply

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Speaker 1: of airheads and will cost seven grand.

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Speaker 4: Wow. Is it a life time supply only if you're underwater,

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Speaker 4: because your life is not going to be quite as long.

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Speaker 3: That's a good point. Here's the caveat though.

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Speaker 1: The machines will go on sale beginning on Monday, Memorial Day.

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Speaker 2: You can actually buy the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and at that point they'll post the specs for

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Speaker 1: the pool edition, So we don't know exactly how big

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Speaker 1: or small it's going to be. It could look different

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Speaker 1: than it does in the ad, but it does sound

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Speaker 1: like it will be real.

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Speaker 4: Okay, oh wow, you have to get it, except airheads

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Speaker 4: will worse candy.

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Speaker 1: This next laser story is out of cell Phone Central. Recently,

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Speaker 1: a study found that older folks were confused by some

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Speaker 1: basic emojis, like the flushed face with wide eyes and

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Speaker 1: blushed cheeks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what they think it was.

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Speaker 3: They don't know what that means.

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Speaker 4: Oh, they don't get embarrassed anymore because their life is

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Speaker 4: too long.

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Speaker 1: But let's face it, there are some emojis that nobody understands,

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Speaker 1: and a new study was conducted that found the most

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Speaker 1: confusing emojis for everyone, no matter how old are young

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Speaker 1: they are.

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Speaker 3: Okay, here's the top four and what people think they mean.

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Speaker 1: Number four nail polish.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't it just mean you're getting your nails hand your

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Speaker 2: nails all the time?

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Speaker 3: Some people?

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Speaker 1: That's for like backhanded insults are like, okay, when you're

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Speaker 1: being petty.

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Speaker 2: Really, I think it's just like getting ready.

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Speaker 3: You've heard a bunch of different ones in here.

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Speaker 1: Some people think it means classy or posh. Number three

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Speaker 1: dashing away. Most people think it means moving fast, but

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Speaker 1: others use it as passing gas or feeling exhausted, cloud

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Speaker 1: of dusty. Number two upside down face. Most people think

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Speaker 1: it means sarcasm, but others use it as smiling through

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Speaker 1: pain or if you're trying to be passive aggressive. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everything's fine upside down and the number one emoji that

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Speaker 1: people just don't get these days is money with wings?

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Speaker 2: Does that mean that your budget's gone?

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Speaker 3: Most people think it means losing money.

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Speaker 1: Others use it as gaining money though, or even transferring

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Speaker 1: money to someone.

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Speaker 2: Okay, look at a cup half full group out there.

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Speaker 1: The one that I don't get is the shell with wings.

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Speaker 1: Is that some sort of Mario Kart reference? Or is

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Speaker 1: it the secret code to get into this guy's apartment.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be texting it to them all day long.

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Speaker 3: And that's how means Lads of Stories has come to

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Speaker 3: an end for the day. We'll do it again the

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Speaker 3: same time off Friday.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,