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Speaker 1: Deadbeat brother steals my car, crashes it, and gets the

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Speaker 1: night in jail he deserves.

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Speaker 2: Okayop, this is Okayop.

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Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John Fry and we tell

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Speaker 1: the funniest stories on the internets.

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Speaker 2: And John, do you hear that?

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Speaker 3: I do? I think I do.

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Speaker 2: That's the sound of a story brewing deep under the

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Speaker 2: mountains of Mordor.

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Speaker 1: We're going to summon it from the decks, bring it

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Speaker 1: to the surface, and tell you the most precious story

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Speaker 1: of all time.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, what a way to get into the story.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I've been flying.

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Speaker 4: I just imagine myself flying on the back of a

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Speaker 4: dragon in the mountains of Mordor.

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Speaker 1: I'm making I'm making some Lord of the Rings references

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Speaker 1: for all you non nerds out there, or maybe they're

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Speaker 1: the nerds. Yeah, they're the nerds for nerding. Yeah, John

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Speaker 1: and I we know nerds it and we know sports. Sports,

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Speaker 1: sports brought to you by sports. Yes, deadbeat brother steals

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Speaker 1: my car, crashes it, and gets the night in jail

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Speaker 1: he deserves.

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Speaker 3: Why do dead beat brothers be doing this? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Bro, why don't you make a sick beat like this?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh yeah, I'm twenty one. Have an older brother, Dave,

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Speaker 1: that has always been a jerk to me. There's only

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Speaker 1: a one year gap between us, but he liked to

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Speaker 1: beat me up when we were kids, and he always

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Speaker 1: acted like anything that was mine was also his.

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Speaker 3: Freaking Dave, Dave, freaking Dave.

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Speaker 1: He was also somewhat of a golden child, not in

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Speaker 1: that he was gold but that his parent, but that

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Speaker 1: Opie's parents liked Dave more than op and that made

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Speaker 1: me miserable. So, no surprise, I moved out at eighteen.

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Speaker 1: My uncle is now a retired police officer and he

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Speaker 1: took me in after I left home. He even hooked

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Speaker 1: me up with a decommissioned crown VIC and I absolutely

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Speaker 1: love the car.

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Speaker 3: More power to you, but as a former Crowning.

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Speaker 2: VIC hunter a very regular car.

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Speaker 3: It's very regular car.

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Speaker 1: But you know, you know, like maybe you know he's uh,

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Speaker 1: he's he's having respect for the things he owns.

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Speaker 2: There we go and pride in the things he owns.

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Speaker 2: I like it, just like I have pride in this

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Speaker 2: little rock zone.

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Speaker 3: Crystal.

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Speaker 2: That this crazy?

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Speaker 4: How dare you disrespect that fine fine Crystal by calling

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Speaker 4: it a rock sir?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is respect from the Caves of Mortal There

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Speaker 1: we go, bring back Lord of the Ring references. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why, but Dave hated the fact I had

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Speaker 1: that car. He drove three Beater cars into the ground. Well,

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Speaker 1: my crown Vic kept chugging along. Go grab Vis, you know,

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Speaker 1: sturdy vehicles you can always depend on. Well, after his

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Speaker 1: third Beater finally died when he drove it into a pole, man,

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Speaker 1: it's not a good driver. He asked to borrow my car, which.

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Speaker 4: Like him, your car he drives into a freaking poll.

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Speaker 1: You know, like if a friend is like, hey, bro,

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Speaker 1: I just told my car and I told the other

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Speaker 1: two cars I need to use your car, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be like, hmm, Like, Bro, I don't have a really

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Speaker 1: good trajectory with cars. Maybe I could, you know, get.

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Speaker 2: You an uber or something.

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Speaker 4: Give you a bus pass, bro, Like, come on driving

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Speaker 4: three car car into a pole? Bro, driving a car

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Speaker 4: into a pole that that's not even moving, that's all you.

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Speaker 4: That's all you. Like if you got hit by another car,

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Speaker 4: fine and three times?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, anyway, I had a bad feeling and said

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Speaker 1: I wasn't going to do that. He called me entitled,

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Speaker 1: and he said he needed the car to get to work.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he is a title b.

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Speaker 1: He just ran freaking three cars into the ground. I

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Speaker 1: told him to take the bus rick. Yeah, because I

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Speaker 1: know how he drives, and my Crown vic is off limits.

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Speaker 1: It's a royal carrow Crown Vix, the clownewl. My parents

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Speaker 1: called me after that and told me to just lend

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Speaker 1: him my car. I said I won't no matter what

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Speaker 1: they say. Oh, be sticking his ground. Shut up, Mama.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I rely on the car and need it as well,

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Speaker 1: since it's my personal transportation. Dave wasn't the only one

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Speaker 1: in the world with a job. He needed to get

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Speaker 1: to bro Opie as a job. My uncle congratulated me

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Speaker 1: for standing up to them and gave me a high five.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: A few days later, when.

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Speaker 1: I got off of work, the car wasn't where I

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Speaker 1: parked it.

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Speaker 2: It was missing.

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Speaker 3: Uh oh.

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Speaker 1: I called my brother sell, but he didn't pick up.

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Speaker 1: Then I called my parents and asked if he took

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Speaker 1: my car. They denied it, so I said, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: guess I'm going to call the cops to see who

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Speaker 1: stole my car. And then they admitted he borrowed the car.

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Speaker 1: Oh my, because he needed it. I told them, you'd

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Speaker 1: better bring it back right now or I'll have the

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Speaker 1: police looking for him. They called me a jerk and

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Speaker 1: then phoned Dave to bring the car back. He showed

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Speaker 1: back up in the parking lot in my car twenty

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Speaker 1: minutes later. I demanded to know how he stole my car,

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Speaker 1: because like they stole his car.

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Speaker 3: It was locked. He stole his car for sure.

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Speaker 1: And he held up a set of police Crowned Vic

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Speaker 1: keys that he'd bought online. Apparently some were made universal,

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Speaker 1: which means you can open any crown Vic in the world.

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Speaker 4: Bro. That is such a horrendous flaw, major security.

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Speaker 1: Bro that we just we just exposed all of our

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Speaker 1: audience and and and grew a new breed of car thieves.

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Speaker 3: People just joy riding cars all over.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like a couple of days later and

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Speaker 1: more United States there's a Crown Vic emergency. People are

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Speaker 1: stealing crown Vics everywhere with these universal keys. Some traced

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Speaker 1: back this spur this uh in this new development.

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Speaker 4: Back to okop, the world's leading we run out story readers.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, those guys are so funny and good looking.

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Speaker 2: Thanks radio and TV hosts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like how he was like a nineteen fifty

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Speaker 3: an it.

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Speaker 1: I told him if he ever stole my car again,

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Speaker 1: I'd have him arrested. Then he had the audacity to

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Speaker 1: ask me for a ride home after he stole his car.

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Speaker 1: I told him he made me wait in December cold

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Speaker 1: after stealing my car, so the fair so the fair

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Speaker 1: thing to do was to just walk home. He called

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Speaker 1: me a jack butt before I drove away. After that,

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Speaker 1: my uncle installed a tracking device in the car smart

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Speaker 1: due his uncle is a homie rode uncle looking it up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: when Christmas Day came, I was celebrating with family, like

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Speaker 1: every year. The roads were cold and icy. Oh shut,

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Speaker 1: I do not like on Christmas brouse. I had to

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Speaker 1: be very careful while driving. By now you're probably clued

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Speaker 1: in on the title. Yeah, Dave borrowed my car. Borrowed

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Speaker 1: ring the Christmas party. Apparently he decided he was going

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Speaker 1: to go pick up a friend and figured I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: notice dude Dave's thumb.

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Speaker 3: Bro Dave is a freaking idiot.

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Speaker 1: But OP did something before, right, I pulled up the

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Speaker 1: tracking app and saw that he was a few miles

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Speaker 1: away because now he has that track. Oh right, Then

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Speaker 1: I called his cell to yell at him, and everyone

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Speaker 1: at the party saw this and asked what the heck

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Speaker 1: was going on. I said, Dave stole my car again again,

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Speaker 1: and my uncle confirmed it wasn't the first time. Dave

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Speaker 1: told me over the phone to screw off and he'd

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Speaker 1: be back soon. I said, he'd better not have been drinking,

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Speaker 1: but he just hung off on me.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Well, while I was watching the tracker app the Dot

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Speaker 1: the Dot stopped and didn't move for a while. Soon

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Speaker 1: we got a panic call from Dave asking for help.

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Speaker 1: He'd crashed the car because he couldn't handle the icy

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Speaker 1: roads and he wasn't used to rear wheel driving vehicle.

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Speaker 1: So we piled in my parents minivan and followed the

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Speaker 1: tracker Dave. We found Dave by the road and my

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Speaker 1: Crown vic my Crown Jewels, nose deep in a snow

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Speaker 1: filled ditch. No, my uncle was furious as it was

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Speaker 1: formerly a car from his police department, and I was

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Speaker 1: mad as.

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Speaker 2: Hell at Dave for stealing my car again.

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Speaker 1: Dave, what are you doing, bro? We're you gonna steal

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Speaker 1: a car at least don't damage it. That's car thieving ethics.

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Speaker 1: My parents wanted me to let it go. Let it

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Speaker 1: This is the second time he let it go. The

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Speaker 1: first time he asked me to let it car?

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Speaker 3: When when? When does this stop? Guys? Oh? Bro?

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Speaker 1: But I said enough was enough, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: call the police. Dave begged me not to, because he

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Speaker 1: really had been drinking before he set off, and he'd

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Speaker 1: get a DUI. Oh, I said, he was going to

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Speaker 1: pay me back for the damn car, or I'd sue him. Well,

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Speaker 1: as luck would have it, the police were aware of

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Speaker 1: the accident, and we're driving in to check on the scene, someone.

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Speaker 3: Else had I guess, uh huh.

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Speaker 1: My parents tried to say that I was the one

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Speaker 1: driving the car and they were just there to help me.

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Speaker 3: What is with these parents? Bro?

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Speaker 2: And the parents were trying to get oh Pi arrested.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I said that wasn't true, and my

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Speaker 1: uncle backed me up. In fact, one of the cops

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Speaker 1: that was there recognized my uncle and they had a chat.

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Speaker 1: Then they went to Dave and asked to see his license,

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Speaker 1: which they found out.

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Speaker 2: Was suspended after he crashed his previous car.

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Speaker 3: Jas, why da, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Then they breath tested him. He wound out with cuffs

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Speaker 1: slapped in his wrists while my mother.

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Speaker 2: Was crying and begging the police not to take him away,

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Speaker 2: don't take away our baby.

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Speaker 1: But the other officer just said that she and my

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Speaker 1: dad could get arrested too for lying to the police.

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Speaker 1: That shut my parents up, so we piled back in

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Speaker 1: the minivan. The Christmas party was ended early for obvious reasons,

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Speaker 1: and my parents drove me and my uncle home since

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Speaker 1: he rode with me. They didn't say much to he

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Speaker 1: each other the whole drive and just sped away. As

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Speaker 1: soon as we were out of their van. They nearly

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Speaker 1: slipped off the road themselves, doing that freaking double car

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Speaker 1: crash all us. My brother was let out of jail

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Speaker 1: the next day, and he looked so scared that he

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Speaker 1: was practically crying. The cops there had roughed him up

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Speaker 1: a bit while talking about prison and the sh and

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Speaker 1: the crap they had seen go on there. Dave had

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Speaker 1: actually pissed himself during that, and they let him take

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Speaker 1: a shower. Damn they scared him the pissing. That's when

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Speaker 1: my uncle started cracking out and revealed to us that

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Speaker 1: his friends in the department never filed the DUI and

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Speaker 1: just the charge for the suspended license, so basically it

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Speaker 1: was like a prank.

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Speaker 4: Wow. They let him off, destroyed him.

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Speaker 1: The ticket was about six hundred dollars, and my uncle

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Speaker 1: said he wanted it to teach Dave a lesson, which

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Speaker 1: is a lot, which is a lesson Dave sorely needs, truly,

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Speaker 1: and this would be the one and only time he'd

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Speaker 1: ever help. Dave then apologized to me and said he'd

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Speaker 1: pay to have my Crown Vic fixed and would never

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Speaker 1: touch it again. When it got pulled out of the ditch.

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Speaker 1: The front end damage was actually minor, needs a new

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Speaker 1: front bumper, a headlight, and a grill. The damage was

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Speaker 1: just superficial, thankfully, and my parents have pretty much glossed

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Speaker 1: over the whole incident and act like it didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: Bro Dave gave me the extra crown bit keys he

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Speaker 1: bottom line, and he said that it's taught him a

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Speaker 1: lesson that he'd soon not forget. Okay, okay, well, and

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Speaker 1: hopefully the Dave Dave learned his lesson. Hopefully, I mean honestly,

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Speaker 1: in many of these stories, but people don't learn a lesson,

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Speaker 1: So I am happy to at least someone says, you

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Speaker 1: know what I was dumb.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I freak learn update who knows?

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Speaker 3: Move on? Oh there is an update maybe maybe.

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Speaker 1: We'll see but you know what, you should always update.

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Speaker 1: Oh that button From.

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Speaker 2: Unsubscribed to subscribed and unfollowed to follow. Follow us on

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Speaker 2: Tick Dog, Spotify.

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Speaker 1: YouTube, all the places, and support us on Patreon with

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Speaker 1: Kathy who Wigg helping us.

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Speaker 3: Out shout out, and we'll see you next time.

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Speaker 2: See you soon