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Speaker 1: Don't answer the phone, Elvis durand Elvis Duran phone tapped.

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Speaker 1: All right, Danielle, what's it all about?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 1: And that email does and wanted us to phone tap

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Speaker 1: her husband, Ralph. He owns Colombo's Market, and she wants

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Speaker 1: us to call him and complain about the food. And

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Speaker 1: he takes a lot of pride in his Ralphie Boy Special,

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna tell him it sticks. Here we go.

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Speaker 2: Alright, this is Ralph speaking. I canna help you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Hi, Ralph, this is Michelle. I was in there

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Speaker 1: the other day and I ordered your Ralphie Boy Special

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Speaker 1: U and the purshute tastes like crap because it tasted

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Speaker 1: like you got it out of the garbage dump. A

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Speaker 1: serious Yeah, I'm serious. Wait, I'm gonna call you and

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Speaker 1: lie to you.

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Speaker 2: No, I just never had a complain about my brijute

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Speaker 2: that costs me eleven ninety five a pounds all. It's

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Speaker 2: hard to believe that de palma would taste like like

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Speaker 2: you're saying it does.

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Speaker 1: I don't care what it costs you. It costs me

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Speaker 1: a stomach ache.

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Speaker 2: I have to tell you, I haven't had one complain

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Speaker 2: about a Ralphie boy, if you come in, I'm making

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Speaker 2: anything you want on the house.

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Speaker 1: Well, if you ate, would you try it again?

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Speaker 2: Excuse me?

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Speaker 1: If you ate, would you try it again?

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Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I would never call someplace in

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Speaker 2: tell them that they made.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm being honest with you. I

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Speaker 1: just got to call you up. And I never had

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Speaker 1: such crap food before.

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Speaker 2: Well, I have to I apologize, but I have to

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Speaker 2: tell you I've never had one complaint about that sandwich.

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Speaker 1: Well, I had to take two days off work because

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Speaker 1: my stomach cart's so bad, you know, and.

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Speaker 2: It's it's a big piece of bredoot. Other people are

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Speaker 2: eating it. Nobody's called me to say that they've gotten sick.

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Speaker 1: You're working in such a dump anyway, Maybe you don't

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Speaker 1: take care of the food and the place.

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Speaker 2: And no, I'm sorry now now I have to Now

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Speaker 2: I have to take offense because I feed a lot

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Speaker 2: of people here every day, and nobody calls me and

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Speaker 2: says that my food except for you, you definitely.

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Speaker 1: Got a bad Proshoot.

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Speaker 2: Well, Michelle, I've been eating all week. I'm not sick.

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Speaker 1: I'm never eating in your piece of place again.

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Speaker 2: You know you want to call this a piece of place.

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Speaker 2: But I'm telling you, nobody's called me to tell me anything.

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Speaker 1: Don't get smart with me.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you're getting smart with me.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm just telling you how it is. I'm just

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Speaker 1: being honest.

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Speaker 2: Now you pissed me off. Oh please, now you pissed

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Speaker 2: me off. I want to make this right for you.

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Speaker 2: If you want to make it right, fine, Otherwise, don't

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Speaker 2: come here and eat no more.

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Speaker 1: I am coming here and eat good.

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Speaker 2: Columbo's Market Ralph speaking, Yeah, Ralph.

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Speaker 1: What the hell? You can't talk to me like a man.

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Speaker 2: Try to talk to you like a man. You're yelling

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Speaker 2: at make You're yelling at me, and I'm telling you

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Speaker 2: that my food is good. I don't get nobody sick.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know where what you ate with your

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Speaker 2: bridgoot sandwich or what else you did? You know? And

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Speaker 2: I'm not trying to be nasty. I was trying to

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Speaker 2: be nice to you. You call my business a piecience

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Speaker 2: and that's not right. I wouldn't do that, no matter

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Speaker 2: what you did to me. I don't have a woman

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Speaker 2: that comes in every day and eat that sandwich. And

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Speaker 2: when she comes in today, I'm gonna ask her how

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Speaker 2: it was yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Maybe she's got a like a death wish or something.

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Speaker 2: No, maybe you do, okay, because if and if I

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Speaker 2: had a complain about someplace, I would go there and

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Speaker 2: I would allow that person the opportunity to make it

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Speaker 2: right for me.

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Speaker 1: If I go there, I wind up smacking you in

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Speaker 1: the face.

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Speaker 2: I wish you would come here and smack me in

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Speaker 2: the face. I really wish you would.

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Speaker 1: Oh please, what were you gonna do? Hit me back?

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Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna stand here with my hands behind my

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Speaker 2: back and watch watch all the other people watch you

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Speaker 2: make a fool of yourself. I get it. I got

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Speaker 2: a sparkling inspection from the health department. They check all

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Speaker 2: my food. Everything I have here is good.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you paid them off.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe you know I don't have time for you.

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Speaker 2: Miss brijuts weigh thirty five pounds. You didn't eat thirty

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Speaker 2: five pounds of brigute. So somebody else ate that brijute

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Speaker 2: and didn't get sick for.

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Speaker 1: Joe, push your breash out and the MutS. How do

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Speaker 1: I know the Fresh Moods wasn't crap?

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Speaker 2: Because I make it every day by hand.

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Speaker 1: Your hands are so great that they make good monds.

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Speaker 2: You don't want sweetie, don't call me back anymore because

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Speaker 2: we're gonna just keep hanging up on you.

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Speaker 1: Hey, what you goofy?

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Speaker 2: All right? Them goofy and your Cinderella. Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And who's the goofy looking person that works in

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Speaker 1: the store with you, that lady, you.

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Speaker 2: Really got a lot of balls staying that on the phone.

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Speaker 2: I really wish you'd come in and say it in person.

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Speaker 1: Well, what are you gonna do? You're gonna hit a girl.

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Speaker 2: I just want to see who this jerk is that's

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Speaker 2: looking like that.

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Speaker 1: The jerk is talking, that's you.

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Speaker 2: All right, listen, have a nice day, Okay. I just

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Speaker 2: tasted the bajute to make sure that I didn't get sick.

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Speaker 1: Oh, now you're being as smart as no I did.

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Speaker 2: I came up here, I tasted the bazute them to know,

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Speaker 2: and they're both fine.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh, Well they taste fine. But wait till you're

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom later on watch you come here. You

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Speaker 1: can watch me go you make chicken palm? What you

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Speaker 1: make chicken palm?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because Elvis.

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Speaker 1: Durant in the Morning Show would really love some chicken parm.

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Speaker 2: And do you have somebody do this? I'll kill you.

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Speaker 2: I got to take freaking VIAGRAA I mean DANX for this.

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Speaker 2: Now you did this, I'm gonna kill my wife.

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Speaker 1: Now you've just been phone tapped.

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Speaker 2: Holy Jesus Christ, I'm shaking like a leaf over there.

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Speaker 2: She phone tapped me.

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Speaker 1: This is Danielle Monaro.

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Speaker 2: Are you married?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I am.

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Speaker 2: He's I'm gonna be looking for a new wife after today.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be Elvis Durant's phone