Speaker 1: So this is Barbie.
Speaker 2: Barbie and I first got in touch because I was
Speaker 2: doing a website and I wanted to have a dating
Speaker 2: expert right on my website and a blog, and so
Speaker 2: my team got in touch with her, and she wrote
Speaker 2: a bunch of articles about dating that are not just
Speaker 2: for high net worth individuals, that are definitely accessible because
Speaker 2: the principles are the same. And I've read some articles
Speaker 2: that she's been mentioned in where she says you have
Speaker 2: to be a full person, like someone that you would
Speaker 2: want to date to enter into a relationship. So while
Speaker 2: she is maybe unattainable to many of you, her advice
Speaker 2: is certainly attainable. Well, I'll tell you my perspective on
Speaker 2: something and I don't and I believe that you feel
Speaker 2: the same. Now I think about sex, there are these
Speaker 2: people that I think are ridiculous and making these like
Speaker 2: hard and fast rules about sex. And it's the first date,
Speaker 2: it's the ninth date, it's the commitment dates. And I
Speaker 2: think that you probably, as I tell my daughter, for
Speaker 2: the future, you're probably going to keep yourself more open
Speaker 2: and have a safer insurance policy if you don't immediately
Speaker 2: have sex with someone because you don't know how that's
Speaker 2: going to be perceived, and you don't know if the
Speaker 2: body is going to move faster than the emotions and
Speaker 2: the connection. But I do think that being overly heightened
Speaker 2: about that means now you're sort of like a game player,
Speaker 2: and you're gonna have If you don't know, you should
Speaker 2: err on the side of not doing it. But I
Speaker 2: think some mature adults are in a moment and know
Speaker 2: that both people are adults, and if the other person
Speaker 2: isn't going to call you because you were intimate with them,
Speaker 2: it's likely not because you had sex with them. If
Speaker 2: it's really going they're not going to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: we were amazing and compatible in every way, but this,
Speaker 2: you know, forty five year old woman had sex with me,
Speaker 2: so I'm not gonna call her. I think that's all
Speaker 2: kind of bullshit. I think that you got to go
Speaker 2: with the way the waves are coming.
Speaker 1: My opinion.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy you're bringing this up because I don't
Speaker 3: think enough people talk about this, and this is so important.
Speaker 3: It is so old school to think that you have
Speaker 3: to wait a certain amount of dates for anything. All
Speaker 3: those rules I think are bullshit. I think the most
Speaker 3: important thing is you have to know yourself if you
Speaker 3: sleep with someone when it's early on and if it
Speaker 3: doesn't go the distance and it's going to put you
Speaker 3: in pieces and you're just gonna not to be able
Speaker 3: to recover, then know yourself that you can't handle it,
Speaker 3: and then know that that's not.
Speaker 1: Healthy for you.
Speaker 3: But if you could look at it almost like how
Speaker 3: men look at it, like it's liberating. Yes, I love myself,
Speaker 3: I love the way I look. I want to feel good.
Speaker 3: It was we were in the moment and you went
Speaker 3: for it all the.
Speaker 2: Way like exactly, I feel the same way and if
Speaker 2: the next day. But you can't get in your head
Speaker 2: and start obsessing that that's the reason they're not calling.
Speaker 2: They would have not called either way. If it's a connection,
Speaker 2: it's a connection.
Speaker 3: And then you have to smile, being like I had
Speaker 3: that cool experience and it wasn't about him.
Speaker 1: It was about me. That was not about him. And
Speaker 1: I agree with you. Someone's not going to call you
Speaker 1: one way or another the others. But what you have
Speaker 1: to be careful about is.
Speaker 3: That you're not making a habit where then it gets
Speaker 3: around or then you're ruining gravitation something like that. But
Speaker 3: if you have the ability to differentiate emotions and physical
Speaker 3: connection and something that you want to go for. I
Speaker 3: think it's like that just shows that you are happy
Speaker 3: with yourself. You're not going to judge yourself if you're
Speaker 3: called or not called, because again, you're in the driver's
Speaker 3: of your life.
Speaker 1: You're the main character. If you want to do it,
Speaker 1: go for it.
Speaker 2: But you can also decide, I'm not sleeping at this
Speaker 2: person unless I'm certain they're gonna call me tomorrow. Like
Speaker 2: if you can feel that, you know that you're safe,
Speaker 2: and also that you can handle the emotion, because there
Speaker 2: are there is oxytocin, you are going to feel emotional
Speaker 2: and you may not be able to handle that connection
Speaker 2: you had and then not speaking to them. So to
Speaker 2: your point, you have to just be driving whatever that is.
Speaker 2: And if you're in a vulnerable position emotionally, it might
Speaker 2: not be the right move. But for those reasons you.
Speaker 1: Might decide, holy shit, I really like this guy.
Speaker 3: I want to make it special, like I'm over just
Speaker 3: having sex like I to me, it no longer feels good,
Speaker 3: like it feels hollow. I really want to do it
Speaker 3: when it matters. And you could say to that guy, okay,
Speaker 3: take this as a compliment. I really like you, and
Speaker 3: I do want to wait, but know that it's gonna
Speaker 3: be really good when we have it.
Speaker 1: But just hang in there because I really wanted to
Speaker 1: be something special.
Speaker 2: And you can also be funny. I've once said to
Speaker 2: someoneful funny. I've once said I'm not sleeping with you,
Speaker 2: and they're like, don't worry. You think that's all I wanted.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about myself.
Speaker 2: I need to sign a contract right now that i'm
Speaker 2: legally You know, you can be funny about it to
Speaker 2: the person as you want a funny yes exactly.
Speaker 3: It's like you don't want to make it weird and
Speaker 3: then it gets awkward, and then then they're gonna be
Speaker 3: with you to your point because you don't know how
Speaker 3: to communicate and you made things weird. It has to
Speaker 3: be like, don't do that to yourself, Like don't shut down.
Speaker 2: And by the way, it's beautiful to want to be
Speaker 2: alone too. That's a decision I am going to make,
Speaker 2: Like if I don't end up meeting someone who's additive
Speaker 2: and a great partner, I'm not going to settle for
Speaker 2: something that's not good. I would rather be alone. I'd
Speaker 2: rather not eat than eat something bad.
Speaker 3: You only want to do it if it's additive, otherwise
Speaker 3: it's the quickest way to divorce. Attorney in your phone,
Speaker 3: it's you don't want to lie to yourself. This is
Speaker 3: your your life. You're the main character, and you have
Speaker 3: to make sure that you're honoring what you need and
Speaker 3: you'll be so much happier meeting the right person. And
Speaker 3: it's okay to be alone. You don't need to all
Speaker 3: of a sudden go from relationship relationship. A lot of
Speaker 3: times when people do that, they're not taking stock and
Speaker 3: what didn't work and what they need moving forward.
Speaker 1: They're just rushing from relationship relationship. We all know people
Speaker 1: who have done that.
Speaker 3: We've I've done that, and it's not healthy until you
Speaker 3: realize when you get older, like I didn't even take
Speaker 3: stock and what didn't work, I just ran into And
Speaker 3: sometimes you go into the wrong person's arms because your
Speaker 3: counterbalance car didn't work. Yes, and then you just don't
Speaker 3: want to be alone or everyone it's a couple culture, right,
Speaker 3: so everyone has a couple, and you want to go
Speaker 3: with all your girlfriends that are going off couples and
Speaker 3: it but like take stock and realizing, I mean, by
Speaker 3: the time what I was still single. Half my friends
Speaker 3: that were married were divorced, and I was didn't even
Speaker 3: get married. It's like you have to realize everyone is
Speaker 3: going to have their turn. It's not a contest, and
Speaker 3: sometimes the best decision is not making a move and
Speaker 3: staying single and having so much fun, like there's so
Speaker 3: much things you could do when you're not in a
Speaker 3: relationship and honoring that era too. It's just it's like
Speaker 3: around just realizing like your declare independence and that this
Speaker 3: is you time, and whether that's self care, with your health,
Speaker 3: with your relationship, with your body, with your mind. Like
Speaker 3: if you think about mental health, people don't realize that
Speaker 3: the serious nature of that. If you physically have a
Speaker 3: cut on your arm, you're not going to continue to
Speaker 3: make the cut deeper. You know that that's like insanity,
Speaker 3: Why no one would ever do that. But we treat
Speaker 3: ourselves with such abuse of our with the programming in
Speaker 3: our minds. We're saying to herself that it is like
Speaker 3: deepening the cut in your arm, and it's real pain,
Speaker 3: and people aren't taking the time to heal and realizing
Speaker 3: they have to do you have to be kind to yourself.
Speaker 2: So we were talking about being alone, and I think
Speaker 2: when someone is alone but from an angry place to
Speaker 2: the point of what we were talking about, people can
Speaker 2: smell that. I think I have found this in my
Speaker 2: life right now, I have had more of it. It's
Speaker 2: like how women gravitate towards the married men, me being
Speaker 2: emotionally not unavailable, but just saying I want to be
Speaker 2: alone right now. I'm happy alone, choosing to be alone,
Speaker 2: which is why this post that I did went viral
Speaker 2: because I said, society makes it like, oh, it's okay
Speaker 2: to be alone, like as if you're some like pet
Speaker 2: instead of like all the women that I speak to
Speaker 2: in my comments who are like I want to be
Speaker 2: alone and not from an angry place like I like it.
Speaker 2: And maybe you meet if someone unexpectedly, like a person
Speaker 2: who stops trying to get pregnant gets pregnant, and maybe
Speaker 2: you don't. But I think that it's attractive to be
Speaker 2: confident and to be standing in your own two feet
Speaker 2: in being alone, not being alone as some consolation prize.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I mean that's what our society has gotten right,
Speaker 3: is that it's a choice and it actually could be
Speaker 3: the best thing you've done for yourself and highly attractive
Speaker 3: to put yourself first. Enjoy that time too, and it's
Speaker 3: okay to not want to be with anybody. Like couplehood
Speaker 3: is not for everybody, just like having kids is not
Speaker 3: for everybody.
Speaker 1: I'm a stepmom.
Speaker 3: I don't have my own kids, but you could get
Speaker 3: fulfillment and nurturing and make family so many different ways.
Speaker 1: It's just a modernized approach.
Speaker 3: So whether we're talking about sex or relationships or when
Speaker 3: you opt in or out, I think the biggest thing
Speaker 3: is that it's liberating that it's your choice and it's
Speaker 3: no one else's choice, and don't listen to the peanut
Speaker 3: gallery of everyone trying to push you along of what
Speaker 3: they want for you. It's you have to sign on
Speaker 3: the noise and realize what do I want for my life?
Speaker 3: You only have a finite period of time.
Speaker 2: Okay to that point. So this is where it's it's interesting,
Speaker 2: and it happens a lot on the apps. To that point,
Speaker 2: we have to be very strict. We have to be selective.
Speaker 2: The name of your company is Selective Search, and we
Speaker 2: are going We're not going into the mall wandering around
Speaker 2: where we don't know we're gonna buy, we come home
Speaker 2: with a bunch of crap. We're going and knowing what
Speaker 2: we want. But sometimes along the way you see something
Speaker 2: you didn't think you wanted. And how do you ride
Speaker 2: that line? Like, how do you know you said you
Speaker 2: didn't want a guy like this, but he looks interesting?
Speaker 2: Is it like wants and needs like you would want
Speaker 2: someone who was Jewish, But if it's not a die
Speaker 2: hard need for you, then you could go out if
Speaker 2: someone was interesting, Like you set some guidelines for yourself,
Speaker 2: but how do you know which ones are strict and
Speaker 2: which you should just say all right, I'm gonna try that,
Speaker 2: because then you end up getting discouraged by going on
Speaker 2: bad dates.
Speaker 1: Like that's bad too.
Speaker 2: What you start to date, you gotta be careful because
Speaker 2: if you go on bad dates, you hate the whole
Speaker 2: thing and you miss your x's for example.
Speaker 3: And then that's the quickest way to make bad mistakes
Speaker 3: of going backwards, yes, both with that person or you know,
Speaker 3: emotional like a breakdown or setback.
Speaker 1: The biggest thing is you have to be intentional.
Speaker 3: Write it down, whether you get a note bad or
Speaker 3: it's at your notes of your phone. You have to
Speaker 3: write down, Okay, what are the most important things that
Speaker 3: I'm not unapologetically going to settle for, Like this is
Speaker 3: my list of non negotiables. And that should be more
Speaker 3: about character traits. It shouldn't be as much about the
Speaker 3: physical look of somebody. It should be more about lifestyle,
Speaker 3: whether it's family planning, It's about how you spend your time.
Speaker 1: Is it days active, days nights out?
Speaker 2: Like height and age can move, But if someone has
Speaker 2: young children, maybe would because.
Speaker 3: That depending on like if you want depending on what
Speaker 3: you know, Like if you know that you want to
Speaker 3: have kids, why you dating a man that's telling you
Speaker 3: I don't want to have more kids. Or if they
Speaker 3: say I don't know, maybe you're the pregnant or not pregnant.
Speaker 3: If they're not clear on it, they're going to be Unfortunately,
Speaker 3: you're going to be wasting time with someone that isn't
Speaker 3: the right person for you. So you have to get
Speaker 3: real clear on what you want out of life, and
Speaker 3: it should be fun. It's like you are the architect
Speaker 3: of your own life and you have to geek out
Speaker 3: on Okay, I'm now post college, what do I want?
Speaker 3: And it's the same thing about your when you're being
Speaker 3: strategic a plan about your professional life.
Speaker 1: It's now thinking.
Speaker 3: And this is the part that no one teaches us of,
Speaker 3: like taking the time to be strategic planning about your
Speaker 3: personal life.
Speaker 1: Nobody does that.
Speaker 2: No, because it is a business, and people treat it
Speaker 2: the way that someone just gets into a relationship with
Speaker 2: the first guy that likes them. That's like investing in
Speaker 2: the first business I saw in Shark Tank, which was
Speaker 2: shit like or me just like, you got to take
Speaker 2: it seriously because it's your bandwidth and your time. So
Speaker 2: if I spend time on a ship business, I can't
Speaker 2: spend time on a good business. If I spend time
Speaker 2: on garbage online, I'm not spending time with my kid. Like,
Speaker 2: you have to be invested in this process if you're
Speaker 2: going to do it, unless you want to just sleep around.
Speaker 2: And you also have to two things I want to say.
Speaker 2: You have to deep, deep dive research, like you have
Speaker 2: to be an invested because people are scumbags. And I
Speaker 2: really do want to say that. I know Barbie's gonna agree.
Speaker 2: There are so many amazing men out there, and women
Speaker 2: always want to say men suck and there are no
Speaker 2: good men because they've had a bad experience because I
Speaker 2: haven't done this the first time around.
Speaker 1: Again shameless plug.
Speaker 3: But like I represent so many amazing like where the
Speaker 3: good guys put mine ineligible bachelors, they're my clients that
Speaker 3: are ready to meet their person and it does. And
Speaker 3: that's why I was so bummed that the Golden Bachelor
Speaker 3: didn't pan out in real life, because I create people
Speaker 3: happy love that go the distance and do have that
Speaker 3: happy ending for them, that want to be in a partnership.
Speaker 3: And I do think it's an important message to realize
Speaker 3: there's so many amazing women out there, and there's so
Speaker 3: many amazing guys out there.
Speaker 2: But if you're going towards TV Barbie, they're not going
Speaker 2: to be good. That's why I'm sure I'd be offered
Speaker 2: a ten thousand of those shows, but I'm not going
Speaker 2: to meet the kind of men that I would want
Speaker 2: to meet.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, And they should have had someone like me go
Speaker 3: and vet them because for that reason it didn't work out,
Speaker 3: because they who knows what it is, but it is
Speaker 3: for your said, it is all scripted.
Speaker 2: None of the men that you would ever said up
Speaker 2: with whatever go on the Golden bed.
Speaker 1: That's the point. So that's the point. But the point is.
Speaker 3: Like to realize that because we never learned this, it's
Speaker 3: important to understand the message that you have to do
Speaker 3: your homework. You have to silence everything, create your strategic
Speaker 3: plan of what you want, and then realize you need
Speaker 3: to have a little bit of wiggle room, like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I want six feet, but if the right guy that's
Speaker 3: five nine, that comes wrong and he's the most amazing guy,
Speaker 3: don't take yourself out of the running of that, Like
Speaker 3: what if he makes you so happy?
Speaker 1: I used to be a highist.
Speaker 3: All my boyfriend's were over six feet. I'm married's the
Speaker 3: most amazing man ever. He's five nine and a half.
Speaker 2: Oh interesting.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.
Speaker 3: When I'm with him, I feel like a supermodel, and
Speaker 3: when he were out, he feels like he's with a supermodel.
Speaker 1: It's like, Thank goodness.
Speaker 3: I evolved that I do this for a living, so
Speaker 3: I was able to help myself Like that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: That was unuseful.
Speaker 3: That was setting me back in terms of my search
Speaker 3: because I was putting limitations on that were superficial and
Speaker 3: not making me.
Speaker 2: Half But you're saying, you've just said that you're treating
Speaker 2: this like a dating business plan. But in business, you
Speaker 2: get on the road and you think it's going to
Speaker 2: cost a certain amount of money. You make certain plans,
Speaker 2: but we plan in God Left. You have a structure
Speaker 2: when you create a business plan, but ultimately you have
Speaker 2: to be able to move with the tides and roll
Speaker 2: with the punches because things will change in life and
Speaker 2: business and in dating.
Speaker 1: And you also feel like you realize what's sexy.
Speaker 3: Yes, a good looking man someone that's sexy to you,
Speaker 3: of course, but sexy could be someone that does what
Speaker 3: they say they're going to do, a man with a plan,
Speaker 3: or someone that takes an account how you feel and
Speaker 3: supports you or like helps you with the dishes. It
Speaker 3: could be something like as mundane as that, but there's
Speaker 3: other ways that are the highly attractive. Is is this
Speaker 3: the guy that's going to help get up with you
Speaker 3: in the middle of the night to help with your baby.
Speaker 3: It's like, you don't want the selfish guy that's not
Speaker 3: partner madial either.
Speaker 1: So that's why I feel like people don't want to
Speaker 1: be alone.
Speaker 3: They're pushed through society and they just stay in a
Speaker 3: relationship because they're afraid to be alone, or they don't
Speaker 3: know how it's going to get any better.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm here to say.
Speaker 3: Don't do that, because settling is the quickest way that
Speaker 3: you're going to be having a broken heart.
Speaker 2: No, and you're saying that you'd rather be with someone
Speaker 2: who's five to nine and a half and settle on
Speaker 2: the six feet, but not the getting up in the
Speaker 2: middle of the night with the baby.
Speaker 1: Totally. Absolutely.
Speaker 3: I want the guy that when I look like shit
Speaker 3: and I meant my worst still loves me and things
Speaker 3: that you know, I'm the most beautiful thing, and I
Speaker 3: don't have to have that pressure of all of this
Speaker 3: of being perfect, because there's no such thing as perfect,
Speaker 3: but you're perfect together.
Speaker 2: So be flexible in certain areas, but very strict in
Speaker 2: other areas. That's what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also realize that, Okay, if there's a really
Speaker 3: good guy in front of you, but maybe he's not
Speaker 3: your type, obviously that didn't get you where you want
Speaker 3: to be, and that's an unhealthy pattern that you need
Speaker 3: to break. Yeah, maybe this is forget yours type, like
Speaker 3: that didn't work for you.
Speaker 1: That's an unhealthy pattern.
Speaker 3: And it's like you just have to run around race
Speaker 3: and feel confident that it might not be what someone
Speaker 3: else wanted for you. But if this guy makes you happy,
Speaker 3: just be strong in your conviction that, like I'm happy.
Speaker 2: So when you're on the apps, ladies and gentlemen, Barbie
Speaker 2: is effectively saying, which I think is true because in
Speaker 2: her deep die, when she talks to someone, it sounds
Speaker 2: like she figures out about their past. So when you're
Speaker 2: in your apps before that, think about your past and
Speaker 2: don't go down the same rabbit holes. Like you know,
Speaker 2: we go in the store, we buy the same lipgloss,
Speaker 2: we have the same color. You just get attracted to
Speaker 2: the same thing. But you come home and you're like, wait,
Speaker 2: I already had that. And it's funny you say that
Speaker 2: because a friend of mine said to me, my friend
Speaker 2: Louis Lazanaro, I would never expect the greatest quote of
Speaker 2: my life to come from Louis Lazanaro. Not that I
Speaker 2: don't love Louis. He said to me, you always go
Speaker 2: for the same guy in like a different pack, Like
Speaker 2: it's the same guy over and over.
Speaker 1: That's what he sees.
Speaker 2: He sees me as yes, there can be some outlier
Speaker 2: bad situations, but he thinks that I go for a
Speaker 2: similar guy and he said to me, rock stars need
Speaker 2: rock stars. That's what he said he was seeing. And
Speaker 2: it was interesting because I think when you start dating you,
Speaker 2: even on the apps, you have to go back and
Speaker 2: look at what your ex looks like, not physically, but
Speaker 2: like what the issues were, what went wrong, and not
Speaker 2: recreate those patterns and.
Speaker 1: What went right.
Speaker 3: And the other thing is is like, Okay, maybe one
Speaker 3: picture this person looks dorky, but sometimes it's nice to
Speaker 3: have like a gem that's like a diamond in the
Speaker 3: rough that you just have to polish off a little bit.
Speaker 3: And he's like the best gem out there. Like, don't
Speaker 3: go for the most shiny object on the app.
Speaker 2: Or care what other people would think, because you have
Speaker 2: to live your own life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like if you like the pedigree of like he's
Speaker 3: solid and you like what he wrote about himself, like
Speaker 3: take a risk and like go out with someone that
Speaker 3: you maybe would never go out with, like be on
Speaker 3: an adventure. That way, you've got nothing to lose and
Speaker 3: everything to gain by evolving your taste. It's almost like
Speaker 3: when you're a kid, you like chicken chicken nuggets, right,
Speaker 3: but when you're older, you realize that you like broccoli,
Speaker 3: and you like healthy things, and all of a sudden
Speaker 3: you have a different palette for things that are good
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 1: Yes for healthy.
Speaker 3: So I always say good bar, oh my gosh every
Speaker 3: once in a while. So I always say, like, you
Speaker 3: think that like a bad boy is like attracted to you,
Speaker 3: But that's like eating a hot fudge Sunday and thinking
Speaker 3: that's going to make you feel good afterwards. But what
Speaker 3: makes you feel good is maybe it's like the healthy
Speaker 3: choice that that's the good guy.
Speaker 1: So you want nice do that with your own love
Speaker 1: life and.
Speaker 3: Realize people that make you upset, people that try to
Speaker 3: keep you in a box, or that don't allow you
Speaker 3: to be yourself, that's not a healthy relationship dynamic. That's
Speaker 3: going to get old quickly and it's going to make
Speaker 3: you feel even worse about yourself. You want to be
Speaker 3: with someone that you could be yourself and that you
Speaker 3: don't do perfect with and you could evolve together, and
Speaker 3: that's that's the healthy relationship. So when you're looking back
Speaker 3: at your relationships, make sure you're looking at what worked,
Speaker 3: what didn't work, and what doesn't serve me, Maybe it
Speaker 3: serves you well.
Speaker 1: In your twenties and thirties, but in forties.
Speaker 3: But if you haven't daated in a few decades, it's
Speaker 3: a it's a different marketplace.
Speaker 1: Explain to people.
Speaker 3: If you haven't bought a house in thirty years, you
Speaker 3: have to realize that dating, you're not the same version
Speaker 3: of yourself in thirty years. So you have to realize
Speaker 3: that you have to recalibrate in terms of what matters most.
Speaker 3: And it's maybe not looks anymore, and now it's about
Speaker 3: personality and lifestyle and compatibility and you have chemistry. I'm
Speaker 3: not a saying ever settle on chemistry together compatibility, but
Speaker 3: it could be a slow burn.
Speaker 2: No, you fall in love with the house when you
Speaker 2: go in. You have to fall in love with the house,
Speaker 2: and then you have to make sure it works for.
Speaker 1: You and has what you need.
Speaker 3: But maybe it's a slow burn. It doesn't have to
Speaker 3: be a chemistry where date one, you know. I mean
Speaker 3: I just talked to a client and it was a
Speaker 3: slow burn and now she's like, he is so sexy.
Speaker 1: We have the best sex that does happen, And that
Speaker 1: does happen, and you got to give it some time.
Speaker 1: It's like a fine wine. You gotta let it open up.
Speaker 1: And breathe, and.
Speaker 2: Also where both people are in their lives. First of all,
Speaker 2: you can't make a dog a cat. If you find
Speaker 2: out that you want a cat and you have a
Speaker 2: dog in front of you, you can't make a dog
Speaker 2: a cat, and you will know quickly. You constantly telling
Speaker 2: your friend, wait, the way this person is texting is weird.
Speaker 2: The way they don't call is weird. And you tell
Speaker 2: them four times and it's still the same. You can't
Speaker 2: make a dog a cat, or they're obsessed with their
Speaker 2: parents or whatever that is. But number two, where are
Speaker 2: they in their life? What are they going through? Like,
Speaker 2: timing is critical because if you are going through something negative,
Speaker 2: even if you force yourself because there's somebody good in
Speaker 2: front of you, Same thing with buying a house, like
Speaker 2: you could love it, but it might not be the
Speaker 2: right timing for you financially, and then you're gonna stretch
Speaker 2: yourself and you're gonna get stressed out and it's gonna
Speaker 2: be bad. Same thing with relationships. The timing has to
Speaker 2: line up and someone has to be where they can.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be business partners with someone who
Speaker 2: can't commit to what I can commit to. I'd rather
Speaker 2: not work with them, even if they have a great
Speaker 2: idea business whatever. I want someone who can meet me
Speaker 2: where I'm at. And if someone's not in a place
Speaker 2: where they can be a good partner and they want
Speaker 2: what you want, you gotta you know they might have
Speaker 2: thought they might have thought they could. By the way,
Speaker 2: sometimes people want to just date and get on the board,
Speaker 2: and they might they want just add a girlfriend, and
Speaker 2: it doesn't work that way.
Speaker 3: I think it's like you have to really it's just
Speaker 3: like business how you have to be headsmart. And that's
Speaker 3: why a lot of times businesses that want to merge
Speaker 3: the deals off and doesn't happen. You have to do
Speaker 3: that for your own personal life and creat it more
Speaker 3: like a business to be unapologetic about what you need
Speaker 3: and what's going to be healthy for your long term.
Speaker 2: This is my honest truth. I could go on for
Speaker 2: two and a half hours, I could go on for
Speaker 2: ten hours and talk to Barbie. So I just want
Speaker 2: you guys to know that, I want you guys to
Speaker 2: send in questions, but I'll have Barbie. I'll have questions
Speaker 2: for Barbie. But I would love to get into all
Speaker 2: of this, from sex to money to age to you know,
Speaker 2: uncomfortable conversations, to gender, to power.
Speaker 1: Struggles, to divorce, to all of this.
Speaker 2: So we will have Barbie back because I know you
Speaker 2: have a thousand questions for her, as do I. I'm
Speaker 2: really glad that she's been here, Barbie. I'm so grateful
Speaker 2: because I literally wasn't expecting this to be like this
Speaker 2: and to be so many pockets. This is a major topic.
Speaker 2: So matchmaking is a huge topic. Dating is a huge topic.
Speaker 2: You're a huge topic.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: I'm all about it, and I think it's so needed
Speaker 3: because there's no one out there that's really teaching people
Speaker 3: how to focus on enriching their own personal lives. And
Speaker 3: nothing matters more than your love life and your personal life.
Speaker 3: So I'm so happy that you're covering all this for
Speaker 3: everyone