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Speaker 1: So this is Barbie.

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Speaker 2: Barbie and I first got in touch because I was

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Speaker 2: doing a website and I wanted to have a dating

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Speaker 2: expert right on my website and a blog, and so

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Speaker 2: my team got in touch with her, and she wrote

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Speaker 2: a bunch of articles about dating that are not just

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Speaker 2: for high net worth individuals, that are definitely accessible because

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Speaker 2: the principles are the same. And I've read some articles

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Speaker 2: that she's been mentioned in where she says you have

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Speaker 2: to be a full person, like someone that you would

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Speaker 2: want to date to enter into a relationship. So while

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Speaker 2: she is maybe unattainable to many of you, her advice

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Speaker 2: is certainly attainable. Well, I'll tell you my perspective on

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Speaker 2: something and I don't and I believe that you feel

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Speaker 2: the same. Now I think about sex, there are these

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Speaker 2: people that I think are ridiculous and making these like

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Speaker 2: hard and fast rules about sex. And it's the first date,

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Speaker 2: it's the ninth date, it's the commitment dates. And I

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Speaker 2: think that you probably, as I tell my daughter, for

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Speaker 2: the future, you're probably going to keep yourself more open

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Speaker 2: and have a safer insurance policy if you don't immediately

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Speaker 2: have sex with someone because you don't know how that's

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Speaker 2: going to be perceived, and you don't know if the

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Speaker 2: body is going to move faster than the emotions and

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Speaker 2: the connection. But I do think that being overly heightened

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Speaker 2: about that means now you're sort of like a game player,

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Speaker 2: and you're gonna have If you don't know, you should

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Speaker 2: err on the side of not doing it. But I

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Speaker 2: think some mature adults are in a moment and know

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Speaker 2: that both people are adults, and if the other person

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Speaker 2: isn't going to call you because you were intimate with them,

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Speaker 2: it's likely not because you had sex with them. If

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Speaker 2: it's really going they're not going to be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we were amazing and compatible in every way, but this,

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Speaker 2: you know, forty five year old woman had sex with me,

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Speaker 2: so I'm not gonna call her. I think that's all

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Speaker 2: kind of bullshit. I think that you got to go

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Speaker 2: with the way the waves are coming.

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Speaker 1: My opinion.

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy you're bringing this up because I don't

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Speaker 3: think enough people talk about this, and this is so important.

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Speaker 3: It is so old school to think that you have

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Speaker 3: to wait a certain amount of dates for anything. All

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Speaker 3: those rules I think are bullshit. I think the most

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Speaker 3: important thing is you have to know yourself if you

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Speaker 3: sleep with someone when it's early on and if it

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Speaker 3: doesn't go the distance and it's going to put you

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Speaker 3: in pieces and you're just gonna not to be able

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Speaker 3: to recover, then know yourself that you can't handle it,

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Speaker 3: and then know that that's not.

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Speaker 1: Healthy for you.

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Speaker 3: But if you could look at it almost like how

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Speaker 3: men look at it, like it's liberating. Yes, I love myself,

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Speaker 3: I love the way I look. I want to feel good.

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Speaker 3: It was we were in the moment and you went

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Speaker 3: for it all the.

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Speaker 2: Way like exactly, I feel the same way and if

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Speaker 2: the next day. But you can't get in your head

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Speaker 2: and start obsessing that that's the reason they're not calling.

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Speaker 2: They would have not called either way. If it's a connection,

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Speaker 2: it's a connection.

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Speaker 3: And then you have to smile, being like I had

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Speaker 3: that cool experience and it wasn't about him.

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Speaker 1: It was about me. That was not about him. And

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Speaker 1: I agree with you. Someone's not going to call you

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Speaker 1: one way or another the others. But what you have

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Speaker 1: to be careful about is.

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Speaker 3: That you're not making a habit where then it gets

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Speaker 3: around or then you're ruining gravitation something like that. But

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Speaker 3: if you have the ability to differentiate emotions and physical

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Speaker 3: connection and something that you want to go for. I

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Speaker 3: think it's like that just shows that you are happy

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Speaker 3: with yourself. You're not going to judge yourself if you're

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Speaker 3: called or not called, because again, you're in the driver's

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Speaker 3: of your life.

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Speaker 1: You're the main character. If you want to do it,

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Speaker 1: go for it.

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Speaker 2: But you can also decide, I'm not sleeping at this

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Speaker 2: person unless I'm certain they're gonna call me tomorrow. Like

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Speaker 2: if you can feel that, you know that you're safe,

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Speaker 2: and also that you can handle the emotion, because there

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Speaker 2: are there is oxytocin, you are going to feel emotional

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Speaker 2: and you may not be able to handle that connection

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Speaker 2: you had and then not speaking to them. So to

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Speaker 2: your point, you have to just be driving whatever that is.

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Speaker 2: And if you're in a vulnerable position emotionally, it might

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Speaker 2: not be the right move. But for those reasons you.

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Speaker 1: Might decide, holy shit, I really like this guy.

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Speaker 3: I want to make it special, like I'm over just

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Speaker 3: having sex like I to me, it no longer feels good,

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Speaker 3: like it feels hollow. I really want to do it

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Speaker 3: when it matters. And you could say to that guy, okay,

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Speaker 3: take this as a compliment. I really like you, and

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Speaker 3: I do want to wait, but know that it's gonna

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Speaker 3: be really good when we have it.

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Speaker 1: But just hang in there because I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: be something special.

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Speaker 2: And you can also be funny. I've once said to

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Speaker 2: someoneful funny. I've once said I'm not sleeping with you,

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Speaker 2: and they're like, don't worry. You think that's all I wanted.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about myself.

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Speaker 2: I need to sign a contract right now that i'm

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Speaker 2: legally You know, you can be funny about it to

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Speaker 2: the person as you want a funny yes exactly.

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Speaker 3: It's like you don't want to make it weird and

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Speaker 3: then it gets awkward, and then then they're gonna be

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Speaker 3: with you to your point because you don't know how

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Speaker 3: to communicate and you made things weird. It has to

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Speaker 3: be like, don't do that to yourself, Like don't shut down.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, it's beautiful to want to be

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Speaker 2: alone too. That's a decision I am going to make,

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Speaker 2: Like if I don't end up meeting someone who's additive

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Speaker 2: and a great partner, I'm not going to settle for

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Speaker 2: something that's not good. I would rather be alone. I'd

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Speaker 2: rather not eat than eat something bad.

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Speaker 3: You only want to do it if it's additive, otherwise

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Speaker 3: it's the quickest way to divorce. Attorney in your phone,

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Speaker 3: it's you don't want to lie to yourself. This is

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Speaker 3: your your life. You're the main character, and you have

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Speaker 3: to make sure that you're honoring what you need and

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Speaker 3: you'll be so much happier meeting the right person. And

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Speaker 3: it's okay to be alone. You don't need to all

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Speaker 3: of a sudden go from relationship relationship. A lot of

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Speaker 3: times when people do that, they're not taking stock and

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Speaker 3: what didn't work and what they need moving forward.

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Speaker 1: They're just rushing from relationship relationship. We all know people

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Speaker 1: who have done that.

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Speaker 3: We've I've done that, and it's not healthy until you

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Speaker 3: realize when you get older, like I didn't even take

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Speaker 3: stock and what didn't work, I just ran into And

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Speaker 3: sometimes you go into the wrong person's arms because your

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Speaker 3: counterbalance car didn't work. Yes, and then you just don't

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Speaker 3: want to be alone or everyone it's a couple culture, right,

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Speaker 3: so everyone has a couple, and you want to go

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Speaker 3: with all your girlfriends that are going off couples and

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Speaker 3: it but like take stock and realizing, I mean, by

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Speaker 3: the time what I was still single. Half my friends

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Speaker 3: that were married were divorced, and I was didn't even

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Speaker 3: get married. It's like you have to realize everyone is

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Speaker 3: going to have their turn. It's not a contest, and

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Speaker 3: sometimes the best decision is not making a move and

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Speaker 3: staying single and having so much fun, like there's so

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Speaker 3: much things you could do when you're not in a

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Speaker 3: relationship and honoring that era too. It's just it's like

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Speaker 3: around just realizing like your declare independence and that this

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Speaker 3: is you time, and whether that's self care, with your health,

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Speaker 3: with your relationship, with your body, with your mind. Like

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Speaker 3: if you think about mental health, people don't realize that

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Speaker 3: the serious nature of that. If you physically have a

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Speaker 3: cut on your arm, you're not going to continue to

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Speaker 3: make the cut deeper. You know that that's like insanity,

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Speaker 3: Why no one would ever do that. But we treat

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Speaker 3: ourselves with such abuse of our with the programming in

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Speaker 3: our minds. We're saying to herself that it is like

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Speaker 3: deepening the cut in your arm, and it's real pain,

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Speaker 3: and people aren't taking the time to heal and realizing

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Speaker 3: they have to do you have to be kind to yourself.

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Speaker 2: So we were talking about being alone, and I think

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Speaker 2: when someone is alone but from an angry place to

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Speaker 2: the point of what we were talking about, people can

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Speaker 2: smell that. I think I have found this in my

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Speaker 2: life right now, I have had more of it. It's

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Speaker 2: like how women gravitate towards the married men, me being

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Speaker 2: emotionally not unavailable, but just saying I want to be

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Speaker 2: alone right now. I'm happy alone, choosing to be alone,

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Speaker 2: which is why this post that I did went viral

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Speaker 2: because I said, society makes it like, oh, it's okay

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Speaker 2: to be alone, like as if you're some like pet

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Speaker 2: instead of like all the women that I speak to

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Speaker 2: in my comments who are like I want to be

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Speaker 2: alone and not from an angry place like I like it.

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Speaker 2: And maybe you meet if someone unexpectedly, like a person

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Speaker 2: who stops trying to get pregnant gets pregnant, and maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't. But I think that it's attractive to be

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Speaker 2: confident and to be standing in your own two feet

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Speaker 2: in being alone, not being alone as some consolation prize.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, I mean that's what our society has gotten right,

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Speaker 3: is that it's a choice and it actually could be

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Speaker 3: the best thing you've done for yourself and highly attractive

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Speaker 3: to put yourself first. Enjoy that time too, and it's

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Speaker 3: okay to not want to be with anybody. Like couplehood

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Speaker 3: is not for everybody, just like having kids is not

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Speaker 3: for everybody.

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Speaker 1: I'm a stepmom.

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Speaker 3: I don't have my own kids, but you could get

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Speaker 3: fulfillment and nurturing and make family so many different ways.

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Speaker 1: It's just a modernized approach.

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Speaker 3: So whether we're talking about sex or relationships or when

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Speaker 3: you opt in or out, I think the biggest thing

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Speaker 3: is that it's liberating that it's your choice and it's

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Speaker 3: no one else's choice, and don't listen to the peanut

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Speaker 3: gallery of everyone trying to push you along of what

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Speaker 3: they want for you. It's you have to sign on

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Speaker 3: the noise and realize what do I want for my life?

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Speaker 3: You only have a finite period of time.

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Speaker 2: Okay to that point. So this is where it's it's interesting,

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Speaker 2: and it happens a lot on the apps. To that point,

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Speaker 2: we have to be very strict. We have to be selective.

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Speaker 2: The name of your company is Selective Search, and we

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Speaker 2: are going We're not going into the mall wandering around

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Speaker 2: where we don't know we're gonna buy, we come home

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Speaker 2: with a bunch of crap. We're going and knowing what

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Speaker 2: we want. But sometimes along the way you see something

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Speaker 2: you didn't think you wanted. And how do you ride

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Speaker 2: that line? Like, how do you know you said you

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Speaker 2: didn't want a guy like this, but he looks interesting?

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Speaker 2: Is it like wants and needs like you would want

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Speaker 2: someone who was Jewish, But if it's not a die

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Speaker 2: hard need for you, then you could go out if

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Speaker 2: someone was interesting, Like you set some guidelines for yourself,

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Speaker 2: but how do you know which ones are strict and

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Speaker 2: which you should just say all right, I'm gonna try that,

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Speaker 2: because then you end up getting discouraged by going on

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Speaker 2: bad dates.

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Speaker 1: Like that's bad too.

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Speaker 2: What you start to date, you gotta be careful because

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Speaker 2: if you go on bad dates, you hate the whole

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Speaker 2: thing and you miss your x's for example.

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Speaker 3: And then that's the quickest way to make bad mistakes

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Speaker 3: of going backwards, yes, both with that person or you know,

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Speaker 3: emotional like a breakdown or setback.

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Speaker 1: The biggest thing is you have to be intentional.

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Speaker 3: Write it down, whether you get a note bad or

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Speaker 3: it's at your notes of your phone. You have to

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Speaker 3: write down, Okay, what are the most important things that

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Speaker 3: I'm not unapologetically going to settle for, Like this is

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Speaker 3: my list of non negotiables. And that should be more

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Speaker 3: about character traits. It shouldn't be as much about the

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Speaker 3: physical look of somebody. It should be more about lifestyle,

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Speaker 3: whether it's family planning, It's about how you spend your time.

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Speaker 1: Is it days active, days nights out?

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Speaker 2: Like height and age can move, But if someone has

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Speaker 2: young children, maybe would because.

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Speaker 3: That depending on like if you want depending on what

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Speaker 3: you know, Like if you know that you want to

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Speaker 3: have kids, why you dating a man that's telling you

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have more kids. Or if they

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Speaker 3: say I don't know, maybe you're the pregnant or not pregnant.

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Speaker 3: If they're not clear on it, they're going to be Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: you're going to be wasting time with someone that isn't

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Speaker 3: the right person for you. So you have to get

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Speaker 3: real clear on what you want out of life, and

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Speaker 3: it should be fun. It's like you are the architect

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Speaker 3: of your own life and you have to geek out

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Speaker 3: on Okay, I'm now post college, what do I want?

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Speaker 3: And it's the same thing about your when you're being

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Speaker 3: strategic a plan about your professional life.

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Speaker 1: It's now thinking.

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Speaker 3: And this is the part that no one teaches us of,

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Speaker 3: like taking the time to be strategic planning about your

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Speaker 3: personal life.

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Speaker 1: Nobody does that.

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Speaker 2: No, because it is a business, and people treat it

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Speaker 2: the way that someone just gets into a relationship with

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Speaker 2: the first guy that likes them. That's like investing in

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Speaker 2: the first business I saw in Shark Tank, which was

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Speaker 2: shit like or me just like, you got to take

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Speaker 2: it seriously because it's your bandwidth and your time. So

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Speaker 2: if I spend time on a ship business, I can't

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Speaker 2: spend time on a good business. If I spend time

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Speaker 2: on garbage online, I'm not spending time with my kid. Like,

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Speaker 2: you have to be invested in this process if you're

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Speaker 2: going to do it, unless you want to just sleep around.

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Speaker 2: And you also have to two things I want to say.

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Speaker 2: You have to deep, deep dive research, like you have

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Speaker 2: to be an invested because people are scumbags. And I

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Speaker 2: really do want to say that. I know Barbie's gonna agree.

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Speaker 2: There are so many amazing men out there, and women

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Speaker 2: always want to say men suck and there are no

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Speaker 2: good men because they've had a bad experience because I

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Speaker 2: haven't done this the first time around.

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Speaker 1: Again shameless plug.

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Speaker 3: But like I represent so many amazing like where the

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Speaker 3: good guys put mine ineligible bachelors, they're my clients that

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Speaker 3: are ready to meet their person and it does. And

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Speaker 3: that's why I was so bummed that the Golden Bachelor

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Speaker 3: didn't pan out in real life, because I create people

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Speaker 3: happy love that go the distance and do have that

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Speaker 3: happy ending for them, that want to be in a partnership.

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Speaker 3: And I do think it's an important message to realize

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Speaker 3: there's so many amazing women out there, and there's so

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Speaker 3: many amazing guys out there.

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Speaker 2: But if you're going towards TV Barbie, they're not going

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Speaker 2: to be good. That's why I'm sure I'd be offered

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Speaker 2: a ten thousand of those shows, but I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to meet the kind of men that I would want

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Speaker 2: to meet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, And they should have had someone like me go

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Speaker 3: and vet them because for that reason it didn't work out,

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Speaker 3: because they who knows what it is, but it is

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Speaker 3: for your said, it is all scripted.

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Speaker 2: None of the men that you would ever said up

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Speaker 2: with whatever go on the Golden bed.

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Speaker 1: That's the point. So that's the point. But the point is.

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Speaker 3: Like to realize that because we never learned this, it's

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Speaker 3: important to understand the message that you have to do

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Speaker 3: your homework. You have to silence everything, create your strategic

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Speaker 3: plan of what you want, and then realize you need

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Speaker 3: to have a little bit of wiggle room, like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I want six feet, but if the right guy that's

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Speaker 3: five nine, that comes wrong and he's the most amazing guy,

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Speaker 3: don't take yourself out of the running of that, Like

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Speaker 3: what if he makes you so happy?

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Speaker 1: I used to be a highist.

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Speaker 3: All my boyfriend's were over six feet. I'm married's the

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Speaker 3: most amazing man ever. He's five nine and a half.

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Speaker 2: Oh interesting.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know that.

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Speaker 3: When I'm with him, I feel like a supermodel, and

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Speaker 3: when he were out, he feels like he's with a supermodel.

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Speaker 1: It's like, Thank goodness.

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Speaker 3: I evolved that I do this for a living, so

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Speaker 3: I was able to help myself Like that doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: That was unuseful.

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Speaker 3: That was setting me back in terms of my search

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Speaker 3: because I was putting limitations on that were superficial and

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Speaker 3: not making me.

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Speaker 2: Half But you're saying, you've just said that you're treating

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Speaker 2: this like a dating business plan. But in business, you

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Speaker 2: get on the road and you think it's going to

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Speaker 2: cost a certain amount of money. You make certain plans,

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Speaker 2: but we plan in God Left. You have a structure

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Speaker 2: when you create a business plan, but ultimately you have

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Speaker 2: to be able to move with the tides and roll

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Speaker 2: with the punches because things will change in life and

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Speaker 2: business and in dating.

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Speaker 1: And you also feel like you realize what's sexy.

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Speaker 3: Yes, a good looking man someone that's sexy to you,

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Speaker 3: of course, but sexy could be someone that does what

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Speaker 3: they say they're going to do, a man with a plan,

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Speaker 3: or someone that takes an account how you feel and

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Speaker 3: supports you or like helps you with the dishes. It

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Speaker 3: could be something like as mundane as that, but there's

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Speaker 3: other ways that are the highly attractive. Is is this

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Speaker 3: the guy that's going to help get up with you

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Speaker 3: in the middle of the night to help with your baby.

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Speaker 3: It's like, you don't want the selfish guy that's not

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Speaker 3: partner madial either.

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Speaker 1: So that's why I feel like people don't want to

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Speaker 1: be alone.

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Speaker 3: They're pushed through society and they just stay in a

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Speaker 3: relationship because they're afraid to be alone, or they don't

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Speaker 3: know how it's going to get any better.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I'm here to say.

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Speaker 3: Don't do that, because settling is the quickest way that

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Speaker 3: you're going to be having a broken heart.

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Speaker 2: No, and you're saying that you'd rather be with someone

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Speaker 2: who's five to nine and a half and settle on

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Speaker 2: the six feet, but not the getting up in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the night with the baby.

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Speaker 1: Totally. Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: I want the guy that when I look like shit

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Speaker 3: and I meant my worst still loves me and things

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Speaker 3: that you know, I'm the most beautiful thing, and I

356
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Speaker 3: don't have to have that pressure of all of this

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Speaker 3: of being perfect, because there's no such thing as perfect,

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Speaker 3: but you're perfect together.

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Speaker 2: So be flexible in certain areas, but very strict in

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Speaker 2: other areas. That's what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also realize that, Okay, if there's a really

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Speaker 3: good guy in front of you, but maybe he's not

363
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Speaker 3: your type, obviously that didn't get you where you want

364
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Speaker 3: to be, and that's an unhealthy pattern that you need

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Speaker 3: to break. Yeah, maybe this is forget yours type, like

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Speaker 3: that didn't work for you.

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Speaker 1: That's an unhealthy pattern.

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Speaker 3: And it's like you just have to run around race

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Speaker 3: and feel confident that it might not be what someone

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Speaker 3: else wanted for you. But if this guy makes you happy,

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Speaker 3: just be strong in your conviction that, like I'm happy.

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Speaker 2: So when you're on the apps, ladies and gentlemen, Barbie

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Speaker 2: is effectively saying, which I think is true because in

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Speaker 2: her deep die, when she talks to someone, it sounds

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Speaker 2: like she figures out about their past. So when you're

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Speaker 2: in your apps before that, think about your past and

377
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 2: don't go down the same rabbit holes. Like you know,

378
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 2: we go in the store, we buy the same lipgloss,

379
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,800
Speaker 2: we have the same color. You just get attracted to

380
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 2: the same thing. But you come home and you're like, wait,

381
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Speaker 2: I already had that. And it's funny you say that

382
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 2: because a friend of mine said to me, my friend

383
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Speaker 2: Louis Lazanaro, I would never expect the greatest quote of

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00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 2: my life to come from Louis Lazanaro. Not that I

385
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 2: don't love Louis. He said to me, you always go

386
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Speaker 2: for the same guy in like a different pack, Like

387
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,320
Speaker 2: it's the same guy over and over.

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Speaker 1: That's what he sees.

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Speaker 2: He sees me as yes, there can be some outlier

390
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Speaker 2: bad situations, but he thinks that I go for a

391
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Speaker 2: similar guy and he said to me, rock stars need

392
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Speaker 2: rock stars. That's what he said he was seeing. And

393
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Speaker 2: it was interesting because I think when you start dating you,

394
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,040
Speaker 2: even on the apps, you have to go back and

395
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Speaker 2: look at what your ex looks like, not physically, but

396
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Speaker 2: like what the issues were, what went wrong, and not

397
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Speaker 2: recreate those patterns and.

398
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Speaker 1: What went right.

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Speaker 3: And the other thing is is like, Okay, maybe one

400
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 3: picture this person looks dorky, but sometimes it's nice to

401
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,440
Speaker 3: have like a gem that's like a diamond in the

402
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,199
Speaker 3: rough that you just have to polish off a little bit.

403
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 3: And he's like the best gem out there. Like, don't

404
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,560
Speaker 3: go for the most shiny object on the app.

405
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Speaker 2: Or care what other people would think, because you have

406
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,360
Speaker 2: to live your own life.

407
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like if you like the pedigree of like he's

408
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,879
Speaker 3: solid and you like what he wrote about himself, like

409
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 3: take a risk and like go out with someone that

410
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 3: you maybe would never go out with, like be on

411
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,040
Speaker 3: an adventure. That way, you've got nothing to lose and

412
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,239
Speaker 3: everything to gain by evolving your taste. It's almost like

413
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 3: when you're a kid, you like chicken chicken nuggets, right,

414
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,640
Speaker 3: but when you're older, you realize that you like broccoli,

415
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 3: and you like healthy things, and all of a sudden

416
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 3: you have a different palette for things that are good

417
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Speaker 3: for you.

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Speaker 1: Yes for healthy.

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Speaker 3: So I always say good bar, oh my gosh every

420
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Speaker 3: once in a while. So I always say, like, you

421
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 3: think that like a bad boy is like attracted to you,

422
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,680
Speaker 3: But that's like eating a hot fudge Sunday and thinking

423
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 3: that's going to make you feel good afterwards. But what

424
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,399
Speaker 3: makes you feel good is maybe it's like the healthy

425
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 3: choice that that's the good guy.

426
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Speaker 1: So you want nice do that with your own love

427
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Speaker 1: life and.

428
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Speaker 3: Realize people that make you upset, people that try to

429
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Speaker 3: keep you in a box, or that don't allow you

430
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Speaker 3: to be yourself, that's not a healthy relationship dynamic. That's

431
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 3: going to get old quickly and it's going to make

432
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 3: you feel even worse about yourself. You want to be

433
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Speaker 3: with someone that you could be yourself and that you

434
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,679
Speaker 3: don't do perfect with and you could evolve together, and

435
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 3: that's that's the healthy relationship. So when you're looking back

436
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 3: at your relationships, make sure you're looking at what worked,

437
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 3: what didn't work, and what doesn't serve me, Maybe it

438
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 3: serves you well.

439
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 1: In your twenties and thirties, but in forties.

440
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 3: But if you haven't daated in a few decades, it's

441
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 3: a it's a different marketplace.

442
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 1: Explain to people.

443
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 3: If you haven't bought a house in thirty years, you

444
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,399
Speaker 3: have to realize that dating, you're not the same version

445
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 3: of yourself in thirty years. So you have to realize

446
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,679
Speaker 3: that you have to recalibrate in terms of what matters most.

447
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,359
Speaker 3: And it's maybe not looks anymore, and now it's about

448
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 3: personality and lifestyle and compatibility and you have chemistry. I'm

449
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,280
Speaker 3: not a saying ever settle on chemistry together compatibility, but

450
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 3: it could be a slow burn.

451
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 2: No, you fall in love with the house when you

452
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,160
Speaker 2: go in. You have to fall in love with the house,

453
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 2: and then you have to make sure it works for.

454
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: You and has what you need.

455
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 3: But maybe it's a slow burn. It doesn't have to

456
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 3: be a chemistry where date one, you know. I mean

457
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,960
Speaker 3: I just talked to a client and it was a

458
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 3: slow burn and now she's like, he is so sexy.

459
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 1: We have the best sex that does happen, And that

460
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: does happen, and you got to give it some time.

461
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: It's like a fine wine. You gotta let it open up.

462
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 1: And breathe, and.

463
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,840
Speaker 2: Also where both people are in their lives. First of all,

464
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,600
Speaker 2: you can't make a dog a cat. If you find

465
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 2: out that you want a cat and you have a

466
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 2: dog in front of you, you can't make a dog

467
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,640
Speaker 2: a cat, and you will know quickly. You constantly telling

468
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 2: your friend, wait, the way this person is texting is weird.

469
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 2: The way they don't call is weird. And you tell

470
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,119
Speaker 2: them four times and it's still the same. You can't

471
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 2: make a dog a cat, or they're obsessed with their

472
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 2: parents or whatever that is. But number two, where are

473
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,719
Speaker 2: they in their life? What are they going through? Like,

474
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 2: timing is critical because if you are going through something negative,

475
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 2: even if you force yourself because there's somebody good in

476
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 2: front of you, Same thing with buying a house, like

477
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,920
Speaker 2: you could love it, but it might not be the

478
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 2: right timing for you financially, and then you're gonna stretch

479
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 2: yourself and you're gonna get stressed out and it's gonna

480
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 2: be bad. Same thing with relationships. The timing has to

481
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 2: line up and someone has to be where they can.

482
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,760
Speaker 2: I don't want to be business partners with someone who

483
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: can't commit to what I can commit to. I'd rather

484
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 2: not work with them, even if they have a great

485
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 2: idea business whatever. I want someone who can meet me

486
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 2: where I'm at. And if someone's not in a place

487
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,160
Speaker 2: where they can be a good partner and they want

488
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 2: what you want, you gotta you know they might have

489
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 2: thought they might have thought they could. By the way,

490
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 2: sometimes people want to just date and get on the board,

491
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 2: and they might they want just add a girlfriend, and

492
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: it doesn't work that way.

493
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 3: I think it's like you have to really it's just

494
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 3: like business how you have to be headsmart. And that's

495
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 3: why a lot of times businesses that want to merge

496
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 3: the deals off and doesn't happen. You have to do

497
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 3: that for your own personal life and creat it more

498
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 3: like a business to be unapologetic about what you need

499
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 3: and what's going to be healthy for your long term.

500
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 2: This is my honest truth. I could go on for

501
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 2: two and a half hours, I could go on for

502
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 2: ten hours and talk to Barbie. So I just want

503
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 2: you guys to know that, I want you guys to

504
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 2: send in questions, but I'll have Barbie. I'll have questions

505
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 2: for Barbie. But I would love to get into all

506
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:34,199
Speaker 2: of this, from sex to money to age to you know,

507
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 2: uncomfortable conversations, to gender, to power.

508
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: Struggles, to divorce, to all of this.

509
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 2: So we will have Barbie back because I know you

510
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 2: have a thousand questions for her, as do I. I'm

511
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 2: really glad that she's been here, Barbie. I'm so grateful

512
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 2: because I literally wasn't expecting this to be like this

513
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 2: and to be so many pockets. This is a major topic.

514
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 2: So matchmaking is a huge topic. Dating is a huge topic.

515
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: You're a huge topic.

516
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:00,719
Speaker 1: I love it.

517
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 3: I'm all about it, and I think it's so needed

518
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 3: because there's no one out there that's really teaching people

519
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 3: how to focus on enriching their own personal lives. And

520
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 3: nothing matters more than your love life and your personal life.

521
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 3: So I'm so happy that you're covering all this for

522
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 3: everyone