WEBVTT - #444 - Phil Becker PT2: Phil Interviews Bobby About His Career + How To Get Through Negativity + Who Has Helped Him 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:08.240 All my friends on my show, and like, if they 0:00:08.240 --> 0:00:10.600 didn't make me better, I wouldn't have them there because 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:13.440 I feel like the most authentic version of me is 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:15.040 what's going to win or lose, and I just want 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:20.400 that opportunity. All right. Now, time for Part two of 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:23.120 the Bobby Cast with Phil Becker. We did part one. 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:24.560 If you missed that, check it out. I mean, this 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:27.440 dude's so legit, so innovative. I would love to work 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.480 with this guy at some point. I'd love for him 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.280 to hire me, or me hire him, or we hire 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.239 each other, and then we're confused, like the Spider Man meme, 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:39.880 like so motivating, so great. If you're in media, it 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:41.600 could be radio, it could be podcasting, it could be 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:46.680 social media. But at Phil Becker, his podcast is Philosophy 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:51.400 with Phil Becker, and this is him then turning it 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:53.960 to me. It's supposed to be one episode, but I 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:55.440 got a little carried away with the last one. So 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:59.200 here we go, Episode four forty four, Part two, No 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:01.440 forty three, it's part one. 0:01:01.640 --> 0:01:02.880 We should make it for forty. 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:03.520 Four forty four. 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:10.039 Yeah, Okay, I'm weird about titling. What how about the sequel? 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.120 You like movies that's a different movie. Yeah, it'd be 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:12.520 part two. 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:12.880 Phil. 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.760 No, but like The Avengers, the second one is not 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:17.959 called The Avenger. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:20.240 Same sub Part two. 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:25.360 Okay, Part one with Phil Becker parentheses, Bobby interviews Phil 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:29.800 okay four forty four Phil Becker, Phil interviews Bobby. 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:31.720 Okay, there we go, weirdo. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:33.160 Mike has this movie thing where it's got to be 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.160 listed just perfectly. I hope you guys enjoy this. 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:36.679 Thank you. 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:41.800 If you don't mind, please go and rate, subscribe, whatever 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:42.319 you can do there. 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.400 It means a lot to us. It actually helps this podcast. 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.360 So thank you very much and enjoy I roback and 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:51.840 this is part two. I'm Bobby Bones obviously for watching 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:53.280 this or listen to this on the Bobbycast. I'm with 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:55.400 Phil Becker, who is a guy that I admire in media, 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:57.440 who was one of the first people to take my 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.880 radio show when we syndicated within my company, which is 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.440 already a controversial thing from outside of my company, to 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:05.040 say hey, we want you to come on ours, and 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:07.400 it what opened the doors to other companies doing that. 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:08.480 As I said in the. 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.240 Last episode, if I could pay Fill all the money 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.080 in the world, I would pay Fill all the money 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:15.000 in the world and say, first of all, give me 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:15.280 half of. 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:16.200 The back, like quietly. 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:23.600 But secondly, I just believe in how he does his 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.320 strategy and that's such a vague thing. But his strategy 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:29.840 is have a strategy, but you can pivot it, you 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:31.800 can move it. Have try to have an understanding of 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:33.240 what people want. Try to give it to them as 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:35.520 long as that's who you are. But that's what I 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:36.000 take from you. 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:38.239 Wow, that's great. You get it pretty well. 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:40.680 And that's a hard and you could say, or anybody 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:42.680 could say, well, try to give what they want. That's fine, 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:44.560 but it can that can only be temporary because eventually 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:47.200 you run out of lines. As an actor, I tried 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:49.720 that a bit and back in my early days, well 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:51.440 I'll try to have a big voice, and I just 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.720 get tired and I couldn't do it anymore. But I 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.480 texted Phil and said, hey, I want to do thirty 0:02:57.480 --> 0:02:59.320 minutes with you, but it was did an hour. I'm sorry, 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.440 and I said, we can switch it and you can 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.160 ask me questions if you want. You don't have to 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:05.560 maybe you have nothing to ask me. And he's like, no, 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.000 that sounds great. So now I'm going to hand it 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.080 over to you. The next twenty five minutes will be 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:09.840 you run in the show? 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:10.120 All right? 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:10.639 You okay with that? 0:03:10.720 --> 0:03:12.079 Yeah? I think that's okay. I think that's fun. 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:13.359 It's hard for me to not have to have control, 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:14.200 but go ahead, all right. 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:20.639 So I was thinking about the first few things that 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:22.080 I wanted to go in with you, and I thought 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:26.080 to myself, I've known you for a long time, but 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.600 do you ever realize that, like you're the guy now? 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:37.640 Yes, occasionally, but I get afraid and I go to 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:39.720 therapy about this, that when I feel that I won't 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:46.440 have the same survival slash desire and that I will 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:50.480 work less or less hard, or I'll be the fat king. 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:55.480 And I think that trauma and that fear keeps me 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.480 from going I'm the freaking guy, and a bit goes 0:03:58.520 --> 0:03:59.720 I'm the guy that I'm all trying to be the guy. 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:01.960 Oh my god, I gotta keep going. There is a difference, 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:06.520 but yes, I do feel that way, but I fought 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.920 it for a long time. And it's a balance between 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:13.680 ego because you want to be that dude, but also 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:15.240 I like to think. 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:15.760 That I have. 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.640 The perspective to know us. Anybody I've seen be that 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.360 dude and know they're that dude. They're not that dude 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:25.080 for very long because then you start to be that 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.960 dude and you you're not challenging yourself anymore. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:29.240 You're not. 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:33.440 So my answer is yes, but in the most unhealthy way? 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:34.680 Do you? 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:37.880 So you know one of the things that and I 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:41.359 use this analogy in the first part, I think of 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:43.720 you as a snow globe shaker, right, and you come 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.560 in and you disrupt things sometimes and you say things 0:04:46.600 --> 0:04:50.159 that that are your opinion. And I remember for years, 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:53.400 you know you were you were challenging media on Casey Musgraves. 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.559 You're a challenger. 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:01.479 When you're alone and it's quiet and and your phone's 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.000 put away, when someone is negative, or when someone is 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.680 like not understanding why you do what you do? 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:09.760 How do you get through that? 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.200 Because knowing you, you've probably about four hours to sleep 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:15.760 and then you're back at it tomorrow. How do you 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.440 get through the negativity when you get it? Because I'm 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.839 sure you know the people say, don't read the comments 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:21.960 you see them. 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:29.000 Sure it sucks sometimes it really does. Because you feel 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:30.960 like you work hard and you try to be honest, 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:37.920 and sometimes for different reasons, people are just they're just dicks. 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:39.719 Maybe they don't believe the same as you. Maybe they 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:40.480 just want to troll you. 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:44.719 Maybe they're jealous of whom you're talking about or myself. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:45.800 It does suck. 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:50.320 However, I think with experience, I have learned to get 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:52.640 to make it suck a little less, a little quicker. 0:05:53.720 --> 0:05:57.440 I can move on a little faster. But it still sucks. 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.320 And I yeah, I tell people stay out of comments, 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:01.359 so that never means say the comments. It means just 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.080 do a little better at staying out of the comments, 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.480 and stay out get out a little quicker. Nobody stays 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:09.960 out of the comments. If we're creating something, we're creating 0:06:09.960 --> 0:06:13.320 it because we want people to consume whatever it is. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:16.400 There's also an ego to that. You don't have to 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.360 be an egotistical human in your personal life, but there's 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.520 an ego to having the thought of I'm going to 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:23.120 create this and I think people should either spend their 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:26.920 time or money on it. And then when someone insults 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.240 what you've created, it hurts because you've put heart, time, emotion, skill. 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.839 But what has helped me stay in the comments less 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:40.760 is it actually keeps me from performing again at a 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.000 high level, so I can look at it linear because 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:45.360 it still hurts, But I go if I can just 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:46.880 get out a little quicker, I can get back to 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:49.440 where I need to be faster, and I can continue 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.599 performing at the level that I want to perform. But 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:56.279 some people go ahead. It doesn't bother me. It always bothers. 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.120 It just bothers me less, and it's a little less 0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.359 intense because I've been it so many times now that 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.160 I know it doesn't last. And I also want to 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:07.159 get back to not being sad. So yeah, but it 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:10.320 does blow. And I stay off the our show Facebook 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.600 page for the most part until I don't, and it 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.440 kicks me in the nuts because here are people that 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.200 are following that are supposed to like why do you 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:21.200 follow a show? We have a million follow on Facebook, 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.160 a million plus followers I don't even know, And when 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:27.000 they're just being extremely personal and hateful, I'm like, why 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.520 would you even? But then I have to remember that 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.000 there are a lot of people that, for a lot 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.720 of reasons, are sad, and much like a bully in 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.280 eighth grade when I got the crabbet out of me, I. 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.640 Don't really think the bully is a bad dude. 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.000 I think there are bad things happen into the bully 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:45.720 that makes the bully act and reacts in a certain way, 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:47.400 and I have to boil it down to that. 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:50.640 Or I just fight them. It's one of those things. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:52.160 It's out of the full thing where I go hard 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:55.040 at them and then wish I didn't. But it just 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:56.800 gets easier because I've been through it and realized it's 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.160 not as important as I as I thought used to 0:07:59.160 --> 0:07:59.680 think it was. 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.040 In all the different categories that you're in. Like I 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.000 was thinking about you know how, I said, my son 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:08.880 sees you as the guy from Breaking Bobby Bones, but 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:11.680 somebody might see you as the Dancing with the Stars guy, 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:14.360 or the author, or the performer or the stand up 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.680 or the Raging Idiots tour or the radio show. 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:18.600 You're touch on all of them. 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:22.400 Is there one where you go, I'm okay, if you 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:25.320 don't like this version of me, maybe the author I'm 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:26.640 making this up, but you know you don't like me? 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:27.400 Is this version? 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.240 But man, please like me as this one. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.480 We talked in the last episode about the nineteen seconds, 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:34.520 which is, hey, if they're hiring you to do nineteen 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:36.960 seconds as a radio do that nineteen seconds the best 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.520 you can and. 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:40.640 Everything that I do comes from radio. 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:44.559 Everything I do comes from the launch point of traditional 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:50.839 old school you gotta listen live radio still. So I've 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:52.360 only been able to do all the other things because 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:56.200 I was doing that nineteen seconds at a level that 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.319 allowed people to leave me alone. Why I tried other things. 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:00.640 It wasn't that anybody was encouraging me to do other things. 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:04.000 My bosses at iHeart early were like, hey, you have 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:07.160 to stop touring. You're gonna be exhausted. Why are you 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:09.439 doing this? But what happened is I would tour so much, 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:12.400 then I wouldn't tour, and they would go, is the 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:13.960 any way you can get back to Boston a tour again? 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.520 Because we noticed, and so I would do the nineteen 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.480 seconds as good as I I absolutely could. Then I 0:09:18.520 --> 0:09:21.040 started to go and do you know, a little bit 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.679 of music, a little bit of comedy, wrote books. Had 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:29.120 no idea what I was doing if I had to 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.520 pick one. Because you can also tell who like what 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:32.960 they like you from when you see them. 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:35.080 Oh can you? Oh yeah, tell me about that. 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.960 If they're sixty eight and they're like, I know you 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:40.040 watch me dance, I know for sure. 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:41.480 If there's a. 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:48.840 Female twenty nine to thirty seven, maybe a little older 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:51.440 than that now I would say twenty, say twenty forty nine, 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:53.480 and she's by herself and she comes up. She's a 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:57.760 radio slash podcast listener, and usually both because if they 0:09:57.760 --> 0:10:00.680 recognize me, there's something more than just pas of listening. 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:04.120 If they've got a whole family and they all knew 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.360 who I am, including the young kids, it's for American Idol. 0:10:08.080 --> 0:10:11.560 But the one that I mean, I'm not the dancing 0:10:11.600 --> 0:10:13.560 thing is I don't really care if people know me 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:14.199 from that. 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:15.120 That to me was. 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:19.600 Again anything I do ends up being controversial, but not 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.600 for any reason that's actually controversial. 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:22.440 I wanted that thing. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.120 Didn't know how to dance, I finished, I won, didn't 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:25.920 know how to dance like I tried hard, I worked hard, 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:27.120 found a different way to win. 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:29.280 But that was a. 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:34.600 That to me was more of a metaphor for everything else, 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:36.520 as I figured I had to figure out a way 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:40.120 to do it non traditionally. They changed the rules after 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:41.800 I left that show because they didn't want somebody doing 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:44.719 that again, where I actually realized fifty percent of the 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:47.280 vote wasn't what everybody I would try my hardest to get. 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:48.599 What I was supposed to get. But then I was 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:49.520 going to go a different way. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.000 I was gonna do my nineteen seconds of the best 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:54.920 I could do it, And it wasn't great, but I 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:56.360 could do it just good enough where I knew if 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.319 I I went to the people, I could get it. 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.240 But there's a lot of people that are negative about 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:03.839 the situation, and probably I just wouldnt want them to 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:05.440 know me as a dancer. But I liked that I 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:07.360 won that show because I figured out a way to 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:12.600 win something that I wasn't supposed to finger quotes, much 0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:16.040 like I think everybody in this room has done in 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:20.240 a way in life. And you've talked about your diagnosis, 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.400 like on your Yeah, and I don't remember exactly what 0:11:23.400 --> 0:11:24.719 you said on a post. It was a couple of 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:26.760 weeks ago, like a kid. Do you remember what you said? 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:27.400 Yeah? 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:30.160 I think it was origin story, right, maybe? 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:31.440 Yeah, So it was. 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:36.000 Basically I said, if I were to tell you my 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.600 origin story, it would be a kid born to a 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.839 teenage mom who doesn't know. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.280 His bio dad, who has cerebral palsy. 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.520 And I think the follow up line to that was. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.360 The first note, you play doesn't mean you can't play 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:54.160 beautiful music. 0:11:55.080 --> 0:12:00.400 It's first note you plays often awesome, but and you 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:03.880 hang in there long enough for people to go that 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:04.559 know it's not very good. 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:06.600 It'd be like, oh, well check this one outright. 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:09.560 I was moved by that because again, everybody in this 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:11.640 room has a story. And then the people that I 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:13.880 surround myself with, I surround myself with them because I 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:15.240 think they make me better. It's very it's a very 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.719 selfish thing to do. All my friends on my show, 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.280 and like if they didn't make me better, I wouldn't 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:21.480 have them there. I need to be put in a 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:25.760 place that feels positive and not in the corny way, 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:27.760 but in a way where I feel that I'm free 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:31.040 to be me, because I feel like the most authentic 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.680 version of me is what's going to win or lose, 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.600 and I just want that opportunity. But I don't think 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:41.120 you would be here without again, those three things. I 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:45.120 don't what anybody will wish for to be born a 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.719 teen mom. I was born a teen mom, not to 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.640 know their dad. I know my dad. To be born 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:56.240 with cerebral palsy, but you've had to develop other skills 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.240 and not to make up for something. But we all 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.079 have to develop in ways that we aren't because nobody's 0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:06.480 the full one hundred NBA two K player, right, you're 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.080 not good at threes and dunking, you know, had one 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:12.080 hundred on both. But I think that you saying that 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.520 it felt extremely personal to me, but I think it 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:17.760 feels extremely personal to everybody because we all feel like 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:23.400 we're coming from that place and we all are and that, 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:26.800 to me is the most important part of me going 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.000 after my nineteen seconds, but also doing the things outside 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.600 of that that I can play that first hour note 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:36.840 and no it ain't beautiful, but I'm gonna hang in there. 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:38.400 And I don't really have a lot of skill, but 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.080 I do have tenacity, and that's something we can all build, 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:42.760 and that's what you have built. You have like a 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:47.960 tenacity callous which I admire. So that's the answer to that, 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.920 No more dancing. That's a long answer to no more dancing, Phil. 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.640 Yes, let's take a quick pause for a message from 0:13:53.679 --> 0:14:06.679 our sponsor and we're back on the Bobby Cast. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:11.800 What about you is misunderstood that I'm extremely confident. 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:14.559 I think there are parts of me. 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.000 That are that have to seem extremely confident or no 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.200 one's going to listen and I know that, and if 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:26.840 I don't have extreme confidence in certain areas, people aren't 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:29.920 going to give me their attention. Now, I can develop 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:35.160 extreme confidence through success or I can fail and go, 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.480 oh man, that is not very good. But there are 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.320 times where I feel like I have to have a 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:43.040 confidence that isn't quite there, or I'm not going to 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:45.680 be able to move the needle at all. I am 0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:49.040 not a very confident person. I'm wildly insecure. I think 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.120 anybody that does any kind of art is doing an 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:53.120 art for a reason. For some reason, I make people 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:57.240 like them or love them. In my case, because there 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.000 wasn't a lot of love when I was a kid, 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:01.720 and I had to figure out a way to get 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:08.000 it somehow. I am not confident by nature, and I 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.880 think that's probably what's most misunderstood, because people go that 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.960 dude as a cocky dude, or it's the exact opposite, 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:17.800 that is a wildly insecure dude, depending on what I'm doing, 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.720 and I'm both, but that now, I'm not naturally confident 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:22.200 in anything. 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:28.680 So if somebody says he's really confident or really cocky, 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:29.840 it's because they aren't. 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:36.600 It's because they're threatened. I never get successful people. They 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:38.200 come at me at all because they're too They're not 0:15:38.200 --> 0:15:40.640 worried about me. They're too worried about themselves or the 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.680 people they're working with trying to make them successful. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:44.000 That's the craziest thing. 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:46.800 And I do get a lot of heat from industry folks, 0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:51.200 and not just for always pushing against what's the known. 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.640 For some way, it's just insisting that I know when 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:56.560 I really don't. But it's again, it's a bit of 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.760 a theater when it comes to predicting. And you know, 0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:01.840 if coach and you're calling to play, you freaking believe 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:03.080 in that play. But a little bit you're like, man, 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:04.840 I don't know if they fill the three gap, I'm dead. 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:07.360 I just can't show that to my guys. I can't 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:11.520 tell my guys that there's so I think that most 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:17.040 people that come at us, you meet anybody, it's projecting 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:20.160 a bit, because if you really were killing it at 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:21.760 what you're doing, you're not worried about somebody else doing 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.240 what they're doing, unless it's hurting kids or animals. So yeah, 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.320 if anybody has a problem with me about my confidence 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:29.880 or my show or my usually it's a projection. Because 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.320 I found myself going like, oh, I can't stand that person, 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:34.840 and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, nope, I can't stand myself. 0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.120 That's what it is. And it took a long time 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:39.960 for me to feel that way. And now I can 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:44.720 have professional, healthy jealousy, which is the greatest gift I've 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:46.960 ever given myself, and it's taken me work to get there. 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:51.920 One of my best industry friends, he's a good friend. 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.400 He was at my wedding, But charlottege the god in 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.240 New York, is that's my guy. We send each other, 0:16:58.480 --> 0:16:59.960 I'll say this, I don't care. We send each other 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:03.600 each other's contracts were negotiations, like the full things. I 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.640 don't deve with anybody else, but you have to trust 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.640 the person to do that. And like, I love him. 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:11.480 He's been there for me in some really hard times. 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.200 And he's also kicked me in the balls in really 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:13.640 hard times. 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:13.840 For me. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.000 When I got the million dollar fine, as soon as 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.160 I did it and all the stations went down, all 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:21.160 he said was, hey, screenshot this, and then he sent 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:24.439 me like one hundred laughing emojis because he knew I 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.720 was going through it was miserable. And he's like this 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.200 isn't going to take you down, I know, But for 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:31.040 the fine, it was just the FCC was on us 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:32.280 and I thought I was gonna get fired. He goes 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.120 screenshot this to come back to it, because you're feeling 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:39.720 terrible right now, and here's your perspective. I've all laughing, 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:44.399 crying emojis to have professional, healthy jealousy of him when 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.280 he's like hosting the Daily Show, I'm so jealous of that, 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:53.040 but I'm so happy for him to where That's when 0:17:53.040 --> 0:17:56.040 I can feel the growth in me is that you 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:57.760 have said that ten years No, I wouldn't have said 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:58.440 it five years ago. 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:00.840 Really, Nope, okay, because. 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:01.560 I would have just been like, why am I not 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:04.320 doing that? What's happening? What am I doing wrong? What 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:07.280 are my people doing wrong? What are they're not? 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:11.680 They can be completely mutually exclusive. They have nothing to 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.600 do with each other. Because Charloamae's doing it doesn't mean 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:17.920 I'm not. I also love him and I'm proud for him. 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.439 And that's crazy of somebody in the same industry that 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.400 we all feel like we're fighting in the same pie 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.000 and there's only certain amount of pieces. But what I've 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:27.119 learned is if you can't get into this pie. Go 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:32.320 create your own pie and do it that way. But yes, 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.840 I love it. I have professional, healthy jealousy and it 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:37.600 is great for I still get jealous, So I'm not 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:39.360 gonna act like I'm way better than that. I'm like, God, 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.520 I wish I was doing that. But to have that 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.919 and even have Ryan be real nice to me seecrest, 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.080