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Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for you. Here.

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Speaker 1: It is the strong Mary letta subject he wants me,

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Speaker 1: but not the children. Here Stephen Shirley, I am a

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Speaker 1: forty nine year old female married to a forty nine

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Speaker 1: year old man. We have five children and five grandchildren.

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Speaker 1: Here is the problem my current husband. I have five

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Speaker 1: children and five grandchildren. Okay, okay, here is the problem.

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Speaker 1: My current husband is not the father of my children.

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Speaker 1: I married this man when my children were young, so

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Speaker 1: he's been in their lives for a very long time.

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Speaker 1: My youngest son just graduated from high school and we'll

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Speaker 1: be going away for college. So now my husband thinks

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Speaker 1: that we are done raising children and from now on

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Speaker 1: it will be just the two of us. He has

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Speaker 1: said that he that we don't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: the kids anymore because they are all grown and have

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Speaker 1: their own lives. So am I not supposed to? So

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Speaker 1: am I'm not supposed to be involved with my children

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Speaker 1: since they are no longer living at home. My children

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Speaker 1: range from ages thirty two to eighteen years old, and

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Speaker 1: all five of them live in different states. I want

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Speaker 1: to see them and my grandkids as often as I can.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I'd like to move closer to them. My

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Speaker 1: husband does not want anything to do with them period.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to visit them, and he doesn't want

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Speaker 1: them to visit us. He said that they don't need

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Speaker 1: to come for the holidays. What the hell he really

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Speaker 1: thinks that because they are adults, I am supposed to

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Speaker 1: forget that they exist. I understand that these are are

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Speaker 1: golden years and we should be enjoying quality time together

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Speaker 1: and traveling the world, but our travels should also include

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Speaker 1: trips to see my children. If he's really serious, I

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Speaker 1: may have to spend my golden years alone. Stephen Shirley,

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Speaker 1: can you please help me? Well, Uh, your letters started

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Speaker 1: off nicely, so I'll put it like this. Your husband,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it feels like he's done his job and over.

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Speaker 1: These were not his kids. He raised them anyway, He's

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Speaker 1: been in their lives, uh since they were really young.

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Speaker 1: So he's done and uh not being their biological debt.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, the ties are cut. He has no

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Speaker 1: connection really to them. It seems um Uh, he cut

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Speaker 1: them off and his concentration is now on you and

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Speaker 1: you guys the future together. He wants to live. He

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Speaker 1: wants to live his life, you know, and and do

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Speaker 1: all of those things. But now I think that he's

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Speaker 1: being very unrealistic when he says the children he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want the kids to come and see you, or he

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Speaker 1: doesn't want you to go see the kids. How is that?

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Speaker 1: I mean, really that that's a bit unrealistic, especially if

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Speaker 1: it makes you happy to see your kids. You're his wife.

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Speaker 1: He should want to see you happy and do those

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Speaker 1: things that make you happy. I mean, it's very unrealistic

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Speaker 1: to say that. He really thinks that because they're adults,

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to forget that they exist. No, that that's

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Speaker 1: not the issue, and he knows that's not the issue. Um,

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Speaker 1: they are grown and they are living their own lives.

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Speaker 1: That part is definitely true. But you guys got to

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Speaker 1: come to some kind of uh compromise in terms of

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Speaker 1: when you see the kids and when you go see

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Speaker 1: the kids, even if you just go by yourself, you

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Speaker 1: have to see your kids. These are your kids, Steve,

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Speaker 1: you're a parent. Now he wants me, but not the children, Okay,

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Speaker 1: that I can relate to. I don't won't mind either though,

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Speaker 1: And on any day between the seven month you can

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Speaker 1: come get folks just like that so that much. I understand,

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Speaker 1: But we are parents. You're forty nine, your man's forty nine.

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Speaker 1: You got five children and five grandkids. Uh, he's not

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Speaker 1: the fault of the kids. Your youngest son just graduated

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Speaker 1: high school going away to college. So now your husband

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Speaker 1: thinks that we've done raising children and from now need

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Speaker 1: to just be the two of us. He has says

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Speaker 1: that we don't have to worry about the kids no

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Speaker 1: more because they all grown and have their own lives. Okay,

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Speaker 1: are you kidding me? You really think that's how it goes?

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Speaker 1: Do you know that you are a parent for life,

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Speaker 1: for life. You may not be a husband or a

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Speaker 1: wife for life, but once you become a parent, you're

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Speaker 1: a parent for life. Now, there are some good ones

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Speaker 1: out there, and they are some bad ones out there.

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Speaker 1: I got it, you, sir, about to turn into a

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Speaker 1: bad one because you don't get it. You are in

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Speaker 1: your golden year, as you said that late in the letter.

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Speaker 1: Your kids are from thirty two d eighteen. All of

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Speaker 1: them live in different states, and you want to see

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Speaker 1: your kids and your grandkids. A matter of fact, you

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Speaker 1: want to move closer to him. Your husband don't want

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with them paid. He doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: visit them, and he doesn't want them to visit us.

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Speaker 1: He says, they don't need to come for the holiday.

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Speaker 1: That's what the lady type, don't need to come for

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Speaker 1: the holidays. What the hell? What the hell is right?

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Speaker 1: Come on, man, are you for real? Bro? You're gonna

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Speaker 1: just act like you never met these people? Like you? You?

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Speaker 1: They meant nothing? He going to college. I said, he

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Speaker 1: gotta come home right. He's not ready to live on

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Speaker 1: his own. And I got that. The kids range from

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Speaker 1: thirty two to eighteen. Man, do you know how much

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Speaker 1: advice they need? So how much help they need? Financial

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Speaker 1: support they need? Come on, man, that ain't how this work. Man?

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Speaker 1: Are you crazy? And he don't want them to bet

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Speaker 1: he don't want him to come for the holidays. What

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Speaker 1: the hell? He thinks that because they are adults, I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to forget that they exist. That's the craziest part

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Speaker 1: of them. You gotta be nuts. It doesn't work that way.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy for you to think that. Come on, man,

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Speaker 1: I understand that these are golden years. You ain't before

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Speaker 1: the nine hell golden years. But if that's how you

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Speaker 1: want to look at it, okay, cool, and that we

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Speaker 1: should be enjoying quality time together and traveling the world.

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Speaker 1: Plays should also include trips to see my children. If

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Speaker 1: he's really serious, I may have to spend my golden

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Speaker 1: years along. What you say, Steve, I said, well, the

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Speaker 1: youngest one and graduated, and the boy is five kids,

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Speaker 1: none of them he is now he's going while they graduated.

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Speaker 1: They're going. We threw it they out. He's saying, no,

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Speaker 1: they have their own lives. They're adults. They should be

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Speaker 1: able to make it on their own. I want to

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Speaker 1: see my grandkids. Is offer that can It's what the

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Speaker 1: woman says. In fact, I want to move closer to him.

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Speaker 1: My husband doesn't want anything to do with them period.

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Speaker 1: He don't want to visit them. He don't want to

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Speaker 1: him to visit us. He said they don't need to

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Speaker 1: come for the holiday to him, and lady said what

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Speaker 1: to him, No, we don't come for the holidays. What

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Speaker 1: is Christmas about? He really thinks that because they're adults,

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to forget they exist. I understand that these

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Speaker 1: are golden years and we should have been enjoying quality

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Speaker 1: time together and traveling the world. But I traveled playing

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Speaker 1: to the called trips to see my children. He's really serious.

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Speaker 1: I may have spend my golden years along Stephen Sherley.

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Speaker 1: Can you please help me? He wants to check out.

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Speaker 1: In essence, he wants to check out. He wants to

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Speaker 1: say that I've done my duty. I raised these kids

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Speaker 1: to the best of my ability. I've contributed, and now

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Speaker 1: they're gone. That's it. I'm chilling. I wish that was

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Speaker 1: the case. But honey, why don't you want to see

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Speaker 1: the kids. I mean that something happen. We've already seen

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Speaker 1: the kids. Well, yeah, you've seen since they were young.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and they live their own lives now. I

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Speaker 1: saw all I needed to see when they was here.

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Speaker 1: I'm todd. I've been working, paying Bill Punkin to college

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Speaker 1: and were covering up dream I bought the board, a

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Speaker 1: carbon machine all that, and honey, we appreciate it so much.

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Speaker 1: But these are my kids. I have to see them

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Speaker 1: on the holidays. That's what the holidays of four families. Holiday, Yes,

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Speaker 1: family like Thanksgiving, like Christmas, like Thanksgiving like Christmas. We

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Speaker 1: ain't going down there. I've already made arrangements for them

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Speaker 1: to come here here, here to the house that I'm

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Speaker 1: you know, getting the big Christmas tree and everything. They're

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Speaker 1: just got ready to We just got rid of the

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Speaker 1: damn boy and he are you inviting them back for?

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Speaker 1: They don't think we won't. Well, he has to have

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Speaker 1: somewhere to go when he's out of school for Christmas

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Speaker 1: break school? Are we? He downed that one of the

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Speaker 1: me in the national school? But he I want him

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Speaker 1: to come home. I missed them. I carried them for

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Speaker 1: nine months. This is my blood. So you raised and

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Speaker 1: the kid to be none but chump. He's a great kid.

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Speaker 1: He's in college now. Great kids were let for herself

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Speaker 1: make it. You know he ain't gonna get a job. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand. I mean you were so good with

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Speaker 1: them when they were young and helping me raise them.

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Speaker 1: Now all of a sudden, it's like, who are I

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Speaker 1: don't know? You just counting the day? What do you

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Speaker 1: mean you were counting the day until they got out

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Speaker 1: of this house? But you were so good. They call

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Speaker 1: you daddy, You're not even there. She won't call me

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Speaker 1: daddy called. They can't find that. Well, you know, I

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Speaker 1: just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate

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Speaker 1: that you were there for me, there for my kids.

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Speaker 1: I know you do. Baby, I appreciate now. I want

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Speaker 1: you to be here for me. Well, I am here you,

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Speaker 1: but I'm also all the time all that the mom

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Speaker 1: days over with. No, the mom days are never over with.

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Speaker 1: They is they're gone. No, they're not they No, they're

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Speaker 1: not call you keeping fighting them back leaving where the girl.

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Speaker 1: These are my kids and this is my house too.

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Speaker 1: They're coming home for the holidays. Okay, I put my

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Speaker 1: foot down and we're fight them back over for the holidays.

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Speaker 1: It's just being here. We ain't gonna will be able

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Speaker 1: to put a tree up. We're gonna put a tree

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Speaker 1: up right over there. But when you put a tree

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Speaker 1: up over there and then all these people coming to

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Speaker 1: the house, we will be decorated. It's just five kids

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Speaker 1: and five grandkids and their people. Look at the little room. Well,

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Speaker 1: then maybe we need a bigger house because I'm not

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Speaker 1: getting rid of my kids. Bigger house. Yes, it's a

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Speaker 1: bigger house, girl, the girl. We can finally got all

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Speaker 1: the people out of here only here. We need a

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Speaker 1: big house. It's just for a few days during the holiday's. Honey,

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Speaker 1: you don't want to send Christmas carols? Yeah, no, matter

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Speaker 1: fact I won't just how stage saying s so they

193
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Speaker 1: already outgrowed it. And who's gonna we need a bigger house?

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Speaker 1: Who's gonna help me cook? That's what we love doing that,

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Speaker 1: me and the girls cooking together well, preparing Christmas dinner

196
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Speaker 1: and Thanksgiving dinner. Huh, you ain't never been cool. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna stop your damn Joe that you don't try to

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Speaker 1: slide in and you can cook. We're gonna end damn

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Speaker 1: woman and the letter can cook letter try to slide in?

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Speaker 1: And who's gonna help you cool? That what we've been

201
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Speaker 1: trying to find out? Sit two thousands. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what the little Mexican man he set to his name,

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Speaker 1: nest the black dude? S are you Steve? Are you

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Speaker 1: still the man in the letter? Make up your mind?

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Speaker 1: I'm my man, inter But what you try to slide

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Speaker 1: in with a cooking compliment by yourself? And I don't

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Speaker 1: even let you do it now? Surely you can't cook?

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Speaker 1: Gonna help me cook? Anybody? I'm speaking as the woman

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Speaker 1: in the letter husband who hates kids now like dam

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Speaker 1: and why is that? What did they do to you

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Speaker 1: that I don't know about? Because it seems like to me,

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Speaker 1: you were getting along fine with them because you was

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Speaker 1: never there. You never knew what was going on behind them.

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Speaker 1: Does what did they gang up on you or something

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Speaker 1: to say? You're not having that one night and that board.

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Speaker 1: The eighteen year old boy he caught me on my

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Speaker 1: side and he climbed up on and he was choking me.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yes, you didn't go about Tony. This is

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Speaker 1: gonna be so much fun. Come on now for a

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Speaker 1: few days. No, okay, I can I can't do it, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I can't mess on my holiday, missile. What am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to say when they asked me where's their dad?

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Speaker 1: Where's dad? And that you know they call you dad,

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Speaker 1: where's daddy? Huh? What am I supposed to say? You

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Speaker 1: ain't gonna say nothing called they ain't gonna be in here?

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Speaker 1: All right, we gotta go, We gotta get out of here.

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Speaker 1: Email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts on today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey f Emer, you can go to

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Speaker 1: my girl. Sure like you're listening to the Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show