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Speaker 1: Which is anonymous, with the Laria Baldwin and Michelle Campbell

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Speaker 1: Mason and I Heart radio podcast Hey which is welcome

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Speaker 1: to which is anonymous, the space where we've talked about

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Speaker 1: women and our relationships with each other. We all know

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Speaker 1: that our girlfriends are our true safe space, our soulmates,

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Speaker 1: and our best supporters women supporting women, But we also

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Speaker 1: know all too well the painful reality of the mean girl,

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Speaker 1: or the friend of me, or the sometimes difficult dynamic

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Speaker 1: that occurs between a mother and daughter, a mother in law,

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Speaker 1: a co worker, a mom friend, or in some cases,

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Speaker 1: the other woman. In this podcast, we want to delve

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Speaker 1: into our relationships, look to history, examine today, and essentially

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Speaker 1: go to therapy with each other and figure out where

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Speaker 1: we're getting it right and where we can do better

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Speaker 1: to be the best sisterhood ever. We are so excited

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Speaker 1: that you guys are joining our coven. This is which

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Speaker 1: is anonymous. So about a year ago, I went to

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Speaker 1: a dark bar with a giant feminist book hanging out

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Speaker 1: of my bag and I met Michelle. And I was

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Speaker 1: going through a really hard time where I felt like

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Speaker 1: I was getting bullied and just excluded, and I really

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Speaker 1: needed a good girlfriend, and we immediately connected. She kind

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Speaker 1: of made a few jokes about my bringing my book

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Speaker 1: to a dark place because you cannot read it there. Um.

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Speaker 1: And I quickly found out that she's an amazing film producer,

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Speaker 1: she is a jewelry designer, she does like a million things.

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Speaker 1: And then also she is one of the descendants of

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Speaker 1: the Witches of Salem. So not only do you meet

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Speaker 1: this amazing human with this just like this incredible energy,

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Speaker 1: but I also find that she has this crazy connection

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Speaker 1: to other women getting torn down in the worst possible way.

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Speaker 1: So I feel so lucky the day that I met you, Michelle.

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Speaker 1: I fully agree with that sentiment and feel so lucky

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Speaker 1: to have found you in that bar, because I don't

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Speaker 1: think we usually find beautiful relationships and bars. But look

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Speaker 1: at us now, um, And when I met you in

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Speaker 1: that that faithful night, Um, I have I recognized you. Um.

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Speaker 1: And you know I knew you as a yoga star,

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Speaker 1: a mother of so many and that you're married to

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Speaker 1: Alec Baldwin. Well, since that I've already had I've had

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Speaker 1: even more children, since how many I had just a

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Speaker 1: year ago. And yes, my my my husband, Alec, who

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Speaker 1: is both a joy and my and my eighth child. Um,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, so we started we started meeting. We we

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Speaker 1: we were like, you know what, we both came to

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Speaker 1: a place where we needed girlfriends and we were wondering

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Speaker 1: why some of our girlfriends were not the most supportive

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Speaker 1: forces for us. And we started delving into this subject.

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Speaker 1: We would sit down and write things on napkins and

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Speaker 1: papers and bring our laptops and we have meetings really regularly. Right,

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Speaker 1: we met all the time. I quickly, it was cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was like we were just so passionate about this.

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Speaker 1: And then over the past year we've created this this

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Speaker 1: space where hopefully, you know, we can talk about the

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Speaker 1: thing that a lot of people don't want to talk about,

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Speaker 1: which is why do we compete with other women so much?

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Speaker 1: And at the same time understanding that we have are

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Speaker 1: like really great girl group, and so are we women

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Speaker 1: supporting other women or are we women only supporting certain women?

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Speaker 1: And so this is going to be an amazing place

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Speaker 1: where we can have all of these conversations. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: you know, in Michelle, she's very focused on the history

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Speaker 1: and of course her her family connection, and we can

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Speaker 1: look at what's happening today. We're going to look into

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Speaker 1: pop culture and talk about, you know, the things that

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Speaker 1: we are just absorbing through the contents that we are

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Speaker 1: influenced by. And we're going to you know, be really

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Speaker 1: open about our own experiences. You know, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: talk about stuff I've never talked about before because you're

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Speaker 1: not supposed to. Also for me, Michelle, having a daughter,

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Speaker 1: you know, if I've three daughters now, but the nine

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Speaker 1: year old is the closest to the ability to have

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Speaker 1: these kind of you know, nice group and I'm using

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Speaker 1: these as terms nice girl, mean girl relationships with her

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Speaker 1: little friends. And she's nine years old and she's already

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Speaker 1: part of that three is dynamic. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you remember this when you're growing up, and I

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Speaker 1: know that, you know, all my mom friends are all

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Speaker 1: experiencing the same thing I remember growing up that for

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Speaker 1: some reason, girls typically go in groups of three and

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Speaker 1: it's always two against one. So I'm seeing this happen

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Speaker 1: with my daughter, Carmen, who's nine, and she's just you know,

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Speaker 1: it's always one person is left out, and especially parenting.

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Speaker 1: While I'm you know, starting to do this podcast with you, Michelle,

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Speaker 1: it's opened my mind into the conversations and how I

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Speaker 1: can kind of guide her because you don't want to,

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Speaker 1: you know, teach her cruelty when you're being left out.

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Speaker 1: So often when we're being left out, we kind of

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Speaker 1: which is like, well we didn't like you anyway. You're like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, well this person has this problem where

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Speaker 1: this person is just mean and picking them apart, but

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Speaker 1: rather talking about the dynamic and inclusion and having her

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Speaker 1: have the autonomy to be a to use her voice,

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Speaker 1: encourage her to use her voice to say, this is

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Speaker 1: how it makes me feel, and I want to be included.

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Speaker 1: And even if I'm not going to be able to

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Speaker 1: be included, I'm going to continue to walk in my

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Speaker 1: life and do my thing and find good core group

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Speaker 1: of people. And guiding our daughters into this is extremely

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Speaker 1: important for me right now because I'm just seeing this

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Speaker 1: this generation repeat what we've repeated for so many generations. Indeed,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's the exact same problem, just through a

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Speaker 1: different lens now. The lens that they have now include

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Speaker 1: social media. And you know, the worst thing's got for

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Speaker 1: me as a young girl obviously a little a little

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Speaker 1: older than your daughter, UM was in high school, and

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Speaker 1: it was a time where people just took to vandalizing

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Speaker 1: each other's property and my my house got egged pretty regularly,

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Speaker 1: my um, and it wasn't just eggs. I mean there

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Speaker 1: was toilet papers sometimes like cotton balls with tooth toothpaste

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Speaker 1: on them, stuck to the dry voice. So it was

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Speaker 1: even my roster to clean up. Yeah, that one was

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Speaker 1: really visceral. And you know, that's very, very harrowing because

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Speaker 1: it requires so much effort. But you know, at the

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Speaker 1: same time, you know, either that or a snide comment

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Speaker 1: in the hallway or some something horrible that someone one

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Speaker 1: says to you on social media, which is something that

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Speaker 1: you and I didn't have to go through in our youth.

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Speaker 1: And frankly, I had such a hard time handling the

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Speaker 1: experiences I did have. I do not know how these

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Speaker 1: children today are equipped to deal with it. It's stabilitating,

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Speaker 1: and we all know the statistics on bullying and suicide

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Speaker 1: and how they have skyrocketed since the advent of social media.

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Speaker 1: So that's definitely something that we're going to be going

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Speaker 1: into here because it's pertinent to every part of this

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Speaker 1: conversation because so often it is a woman going after

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Speaker 1: another woman. Yeah, No, I mean, how many times my

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Speaker 1: daughter comes home and she's, you know, talking about how

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Speaker 1: you know, this person said this to me. And that

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Speaker 1: person said that she was left out of a sleepover

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Speaker 1: the other day and she was so upset about it.

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Speaker 1: And I, you know, I said to her, you know what,

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Speaker 1: this is sad. I don't want to be toxic positivity

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Speaker 1: and be like again the whole you didn't want to

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Speaker 1: go there anywhere. We're gonna have so much more fun,

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Speaker 1: I said, you know what, it is really sad. It

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Speaker 1: really feels really bad to be left out. And let's

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Speaker 1: have a really fun night. So when your friends are

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Speaker 1: going and having their sleepover, let's do our own thing here.

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Speaker 1: And so we had fun. We had special snacks, we

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Speaker 1: you know, I made her a little bit on the floor.

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Speaker 1: We had like a whole fun night. And at least

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Speaker 1: it's teaching her that it's okay to be disappointed by

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Speaker 1: something and I can feel it and then continue to

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Speaker 1: move on. Because I think for women as well, you know,

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Speaker 1: so much of it everything has to be an invitation

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Speaker 1: for us, and we get stuck in like the fun

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Speaker 1: and freeze thing. So you know, when we're upset about something,

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Speaker 1: we freeze and then we're kind of just stuck there

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Speaker 1: until we feel we're invited out of it, and teaching

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Speaker 1: our our daughters to be able to just continue on,

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Speaker 1: move one ft in front of the other and say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you know what, that sucked and I'm going to continue on,

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Speaker 1: not but them going to continue on. Um. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I mean this is you know, talking about bullying is

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Speaker 1: is a huge part of this this podcast, and oftentimes

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Speaker 1: when we talk about bullying, we think about it in

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Speaker 1: such a like a crazy level, like we're we only

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Speaker 1: look at said, well, this person was a worse bully.

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Speaker 1: But even having that Snyder market, we talk about the negative,

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Speaker 1: the negative Instagram comments or online comments, you know, for kids,

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Speaker 1: and how can they filter through that. Yes, it's awful,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, it's also awful for adults, you know,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's super it's super super um, it's super

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Speaker 1: super common exactly. And just going back to protecting our

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Speaker 1: daughters and seeing what these girls are going through. There's

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Speaker 1: something I really that's been on my mind a lot

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Speaker 1: and we haven't brought it up. My stepdaughter, she goes

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Speaker 1: to an all girls school, she has her entire life,

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Speaker 1: and she's been pushing for a very long time to

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Speaker 1: go to a co ed school. And you know, she

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Speaker 1: made a whole power point about it. But like the

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Speaker 1: resounding theme of her whole pitch, it's like niche. You know,

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Speaker 1: girls are really mean to each other. It's not a

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Speaker 1: good environment to be in. It makes girls more caddy.

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Speaker 1: She's extremely smart, knows everything, and I she couldn't one

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Speaker 1: couldn't say it better. And I think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: seeing that at such a young age, those dynamics within

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Speaker 1: those institutions, they even exacerbate it. So then we have

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Speaker 1: to look to be inspired somewhere else, you know, because

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Speaker 1: this podcast has been created through Michelle and I connecting,

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Speaker 1: and she is someone who inspires me and who has

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Speaker 1: supported me so much. I also, you know, Michelle, one

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Speaker 1: of the things that over the years has been so

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Speaker 1: important for me has been my my online community. So

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Speaker 1: as much as like the online community can be mean,

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Speaker 1: my online community is also absolutely amazing. The majority of

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Speaker 1: people out there are really wonderful. I can open my

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Speaker 1: mailbox and it is flooded with supportive commons, people making

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Speaker 1: me laugh, people sending me memes, um women that I've

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Speaker 1: never met before, and all of you guys who are listening,

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Speaker 1: you know who I'm talking about. And I've developed like

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Speaker 1: the most amazing friendships online with people, and it is

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Speaker 1: this special place of saying, hey, I'm in this part

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Speaker 1: of the world and you're in that part of the world,

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Speaker 1: and we know that things can be wonderful, and we

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Speaker 1: know that things can be hard, and we're going to

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Speaker 1: just give each other a little bit of a message

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Speaker 1: of support. And it gives me so much, absolutely, and

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Speaker 1: I look forward to having that community because I don't

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Speaker 1: have that online. I just get like a random creepy

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Speaker 1: message every now and then I'm like, where did that

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Speaker 1: come from? All Right? You hear that? Guys, you have

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Speaker 1: to fled Michelle's inbox with just really kind things because

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's going to make you smile, and

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Speaker 1: it's it really is the most amazing thing to to

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Speaker 1: connect with people from all over you know, I mean

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Speaker 1: other other women. I've been so fortunate to have women. Um,

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Speaker 1: We're met really incredible women. You know, my my mom,

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Speaker 1: my grandmother's you know, my best childhood friend. You know,

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Speaker 1: we live you know, across the ocean from each other,

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Speaker 1: but we are sisters and we just know when there's

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Speaker 1: something going on with each other, and she knows how

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Speaker 1: to reach out and I know how to reach out,

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Speaker 1: and I feel extremely lucky. And then you know, through Alec,

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Speaker 1: I've had this amazing privilege of meeting really amazing women,

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Speaker 1: you know, Hillary Clinton, Jane Fonda, who idolized as a

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Speaker 1: child and still idolized now. Um, you know, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know that you're a huge fan of Oprah and

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Speaker 1: I am too, and she gives the best hugs ever.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to get an Oprah hug. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: to me, Oprah has gotten me through a lot of

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Speaker 1: dark times. And you know, I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: us battle with depression, and you know how we overcome

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Speaker 1: these things. And for me, it was one of my

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Speaker 1: most kind of basic tools to getting out of a

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Speaker 1: front was listening to her story and her empowering way

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Speaker 1: of speaking and how we can control our reactions to

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Speaker 1: things ergo, We can control. That's what we have in

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Speaker 1: life that we can control, where we can find a

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Speaker 1: better outlook and be a more supportive friend or be

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Speaker 1: or be a better person. You know, there's so many

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Speaker 1: women that inspire me, from you and your love and

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Speaker 1: my mother and all the women that I've worked with

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Speaker 1: in production who have just given me a chance when

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Speaker 1: so many wouldn't have. As women, we are constantly being

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Speaker 1: told that we signed up for something or are just

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Speaker 1: like our mere presence is asking for something. You know.

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Speaker 1: One of the things I think most of us have

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Speaker 1: come to terms with is walking down the street and

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Speaker 1: if a man says something to us, we didn't ask

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Speaker 1: for it. It doesn't matter what we're wearing, how shorter

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Speaker 1: skirt is, what kind of heels we're wearing. Um, it's

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Speaker 1: not okay. I remember the first time that happened to me.

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Speaker 1: I was thirteen years old, and it made me feel

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Speaker 1: so awful and to the point where if I see

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Speaker 1: a certain group of guys, I'm judging them from afar,

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Speaker 1: but mostly out of self protection, and I'll cross the street.

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Speaker 1: I'll try to walk around the other way. Now, having

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Speaker 1: seven kids, it's like my favorite thing actually to tell

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Speaker 1: them now, Like when they say something to me and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I just gave birth to my seventh child,

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Speaker 1: and they like, first they think that I'm like making

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Speaker 1: it up because that just sounds like a lot of kids.

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Speaker 1: It's like one thing to be like, okay, it's a

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Speaker 1: second child, but it's like seven is like, who has

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Speaker 1: seven kids at me? And you know, but I then

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Speaker 1: they usually like run away or they like apologize or something.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time to feel like, I you

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Speaker 1: know what people say, Oh, well she was wearing a

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Speaker 1: short skirt or oh she her top was tight and

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Speaker 1: we didn't ask for it. Right if we have been

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Speaker 1: trained when we were younger to think that somehow we

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Speaker 1: had to dress in a different way to protect ourselves

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Speaker 1: from from certain men. And now I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: the first time that I'm starting to hear in our

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Speaker 1: culture saying like, no, it doesn't matter what you're wearing.

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Speaker 1: What are we saying to each other in terms of

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Speaker 1: did we sign up for something? Did we ask for it?

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Speaker 1: How many times do we rationalize, you know, our mistreatment

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Speaker 1: of other people? Okay, well I can say this about

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Speaker 1: her because she's so mean, or I can do this

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Speaker 1: because she did X y Z. And even like the

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Speaker 1: very small parts of ourselves, in the quiet parts, maybe

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Speaker 1: we're not telling too many people, maybe we're just thinking it.

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Speaker 1: But what are the influences not only on the outside world,

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Speaker 1: but in our inside environment. I met this one of

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Speaker 1: this girl the other day, and she knows that I'm

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Speaker 1: friends with a mom influencer who people are speculating that

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Speaker 1: she just got her boobs done. But apparently there was

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Speaker 1: like a big thing of like, why won't she just

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Speaker 1: admit it? She should just say it. Everybody can tell.

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Speaker 1: And she was kind of being snarky and laughing about

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Speaker 1: this girl, and I just looked at her and I said,

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Speaker 1: it's not any of our business. Why do we think

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Speaker 1: that she owes us that information? Now? Why do we

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Speaker 1: think that we opened up magazines before? In the nelsalon,

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Speaker 1: we're opening up magazines and we're seeing the speculation. We're

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Speaker 1: seeing the zooming in on people's satellite or zooming in

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Speaker 1: on people's ribs and be like, Oh, this person is

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Speaker 1: too thin, this person too fat, this person is to this,

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Speaker 1: this person is to that, And of course that trickles

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Speaker 1: down and it goes into our minds and we we

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Speaker 1: get influenced to also treat each other this way and

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Speaker 1: have the audacity to think that certain people owe us

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Speaker 1: a certain amount of information about their personal lives, their bodies,

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Speaker 1: their love lives, their beauty treatments, their lack of beauty treatments.

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Speaker 1: You know, I put that in quotes because beauty is

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Speaker 1: in the eye of the beholder, And we're going to

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Speaker 1: talk a lot about beauty on this m on this

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Speaker 1: podcast and what we've sort of feel forced or influenced

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Speaker 1: into versus what we actually want and is good for

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Speaker 1: us absolutely, And when it comes down to all of that,

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Speaker 1: it is nobody's business unless we decide to share it.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's how we have to reframe all

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Speaker 1: of it. And if you want to share that you've

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Speaker 1: got something done, great, that's your choice. But I also

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Speaker 1: you know, it's a fine line. And there are parts

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Speaker 1: of our society that have definitely held up a lot

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Speaker 1: of very mutilated surgeries as natural progressions in someone's aging,

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Speaker 1: and you know, obviously we can all tell that that's

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Speaker 1: not the case. But here we will talk about what

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Speaker 1: we do, what we've experienced. We will have people on

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Speaker 1: that can speak to it as well and hopefully come

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Speaker 1: from a place that's not judgmental. Well that when the

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Speaker 1: question is, you know, when even if people say say, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is this is natural, you know, and I understand

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Speaker 1: we want to make sure that we're giving a healthy

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Speaker 1: idea of what is natural to people. But at the

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Speaker 1: same time, and I don't have the right answer, what

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Speaker 1: you know, if this is somebody's personal life, you know,

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Speaker 1: be itau's one thing if they're selling something, but it's

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Speaker 1: their personal life, do we have the right to speculate

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Speaker 1: about that. I don't know. It's very complicated with all

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Speaker 1: the procedures and all the things, because now we have

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Speaker 1: all these little girls who are asking to get surgery

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Speaker 1: as teenagers because everyone they know is filtering their face,

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Speaker 1: and no one's face looks like that, So there's distorted reality.

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Speaker 1: There are extreme examples, and I'm not going to say names,

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Speaker 1: obviously we all know who. There's a lot of people

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Speaker 1: out there that have done a lot that have really

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Speaker 1: created a hipping point in society in which everyone thinks

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Speaker 1: that you have to look a certain way forever or

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Speaker 1: have a certain body type, and that's just anatomically impossible.

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Speaker 1: But I won't speak to the fact of how they

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Speaker 1: got there, and I think that is what's very dangerous.

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Speaker 1: Michelle and I are not going to have all of

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Speaker 1: the answers to all of these things, and maybe we're

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Speaker 1: going to think one thing and our mind is going

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Speaker 1: to get transformed into something else through hopefully these experiences.

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Speaker 1: We are not coming at this from a perfect place

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Speaker 1: and We had a conversation at one point, maybe like

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Speaker 1: six months ago, where we both looked at each other

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Speaker 1: and we said, we don't want to come off as

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Speaker 1: like preachy. And by the way, we've made so many

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Speaker 1: mistakes ourselves. We've been on both sides. We've been the

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Speaker 1: witch and we've been the witch hunter, because we all

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Speaker 1: have that dichotomy inside of us. And so you know,

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Speaker 1: where what if? What if? We are saying these things,

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Speaker 1: and we know that we haven't been perfect. And that's

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Speaker 1: the amazing thing about this space and trying to create

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Speaker 1: a safe space is this isn't about perfection. This is

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Speaker 1: coming in realizing that we've been trained to think a

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Speaker 1: certain way, and we've been trained to compete with each other,

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Speaker 1: and the only way to untrain ourselves is to get

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Speaker 1: honest about it and to get open about Like I

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Speaker 1: know for myself, I would there was things I judged

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Speaker 1: about other moms, like I've never left my kids to

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Speaker 1: go on a trip with my husband. My husband really,

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Speaker 1: really really wants to go away with me, and I

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Speaker 1: have never left to go on a trip with him.

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Speaker 1: And you know, my girlfriends, especially when my my first

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Speaker 1: children were younger, they would go away and they had

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Speaker 1: kids the same age, and their kids were like six months, one, two, three,

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Speaker 1: and they go away with their husband for like a

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Speaker 1: four day weekend, and in my head, I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, they're like so thinking about themselves, and

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Speaker 1: they're like what about their kids and what if something happens?

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Speaker 1: And you know, I would just feel so guilty and

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Speaker 1: shouldn't they feel guilty? And they're like, nope, living their

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Speaker 1: best life, posting photos, looking so happy, looking absolutely in

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Speaker 1: love with their spouse or their partner, and and I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting there kind of looking at them and with my

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Speaker 1: fear and my judgment inside of me, And then I

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Speaker 1: realized they are people too, like I've had to after

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Speaker 1: having so many kids, Like I had to separate my

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Speaker 1: identity from just being mom once it became mom, and realized, oh, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm human too. I am wife, Yes, I am mother,

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Speaker 1: I am ilaria, I am yoga teacher, I am somebody

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Speaker 1: who likes to run. There's a lot of different parts

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Speaker 1: of my identity that mean that they needs time and

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Speaker 1: they need space, and you know, focusing on my relationship

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Speaker 1: with my husband is really important. So I turned being

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Speaker 1: judgmental into being inspired by them. Still have yet to

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Speaker 1: go away with my husband without any children. But I

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Speaker 1: think I'm gonna blame that on the pregnancy because I'm

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Speaker 1: like always pregnant, so like even if I went away

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Speaker 1: with him, I would still be carrying child with me,

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Speaker 1: except right now, So now's the time. This is the

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Speaker 1: brief window, right except I'm breastfeeding, so that would be

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Speaker 1: impossible anyway, something to look forward to and be inspired

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Speaker 1: and be inspired about. Or like the other thing, Rachel,

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Speaker 1: that I used to judge people about was before I

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Speaker 1: got together with Alec. I would judge women and men

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Speaker 1: that had like big age differences, right, and like Alec

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Speaker 1: and I are on all the list of like the

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Speaker 1: celebrities with the biggest age difference and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: And I would look and I be like, Okay, this

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Speaker 1: older man wants some like young bimbo with no opinions whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: And then that younger woman is obviously a gold digger

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Speaker 1: and she obviously doesn't even care, and it's just like, okay, whatever,

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Speaker 1: I hope you die and I'm gonna take all your money. Right,

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Speaker 1: That's what I don't know if I thought it so

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Speaker 1: thoroughly through, but I can totally see that my mind

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Speaker 1: was somewhere there. And now that I'm in that relationship

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Speaker 1: and people will say those things about me regularly, I realized,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, what was this trained into

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Speaker 1: my head? And why was I so judgmental about other

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Speaker 1: people who are literally just finding love. And maybe their

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Speaker 1: love looks different from you and from your love or

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Speaker 1: from what my thought love would be, But it doesn't

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Speaker 1: make it not valid. But like we're doing here, we're

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Speaker 1: saying we're not perfectly. I'm introverted by nature, so I

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Speaker 1: believe that, you know, and there's this whole like, you know,

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Speaker 1: different categories of introversion, extroversion, all these things. I'm an

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Speaker 1: introverted extrovert, so I can pretend, but like in essence

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Speaker 1: and introvert and so being that way, sometimes some people

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Speaker 1: that come into a room and take up all the

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Speaker 1: space and are just so much and so loud, I've

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Speaker 1: always kind of coiled away from because I'm like, that's

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Speaker 1: too much. They must have too much to prove. And

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Speaker 1: so I was really cautious and a bit judgmental in

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Speaker 1: those situations that I realized, you know what, just because

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Speaker 1: someone likes to take up space doesn't mean there's anything

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Speaker 1: bad about them, and I can learn from them. And

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Speaker 1: that brings me back to one of the women who

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Speaker 1: inspire me, which is my grandmother. And my mother always

428
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: translates this message to me, which is you can always

429
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: learn some something from everybody. And I try to remind

430
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: myself that every day in every interaction where I dread

431
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: being around certain people, or I know I'm going to

432
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 1: go into a group that we may not necessarily be

433
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: aligned on all levels. But if you sit back and

434
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 1: you kind of just let go of that judgment and

435
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 1: remind yourself, I'm going to learn something from these people,

436
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: you always will. And I think that that's a beautiful

437
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 1: thing to take away from all of this too, because

438
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:37,239
Speaker 1: in as since we're just growing and we're learning. I mean,

439
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: I ask you this question, Michelle, and I would love

440
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: you guys at home to think about it as well,

441
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: Like think about times when you've been the mean girl

442
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: to yourself, when you're constantly tearing yourself down, because not

443
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: only is that you don't deserve that right, but what

444
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: does that due to our insides that therefore we then

445
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 1: start taking it out on other people, you know, I mean,

446
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: having and talk about influence as well, you know, I

447
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: come from the influencer world and that that that really

448
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: silly term but very true at the same time. And

449
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: we are influenced by pop culture and people with big

450
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: Instagram followings. We want to know what they're wearing, what

451
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: they're doing, the diet, the food, that this, that that everything,

452
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: ultimately everything that goes into companies making money. But that

453
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 1: will be for a whole another time, and I will

454
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: talk to you all about the mom influencer world because

455
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 1: it is wild um. But I hope one of my

456
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: contributions here on which is anonymous, can be showing you

457
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 1: guys a window into alex world and what's that's what

458
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: that's like. My life has changed so much over the

459
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: past twelve years that you guys have seen me grow

460
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: up a lot. You know. I was this little yoga

461
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 1: instructor that taught three sixty five days out of the year.

462
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,200
Speaker 1: My typical day would start at five o'clock in the

463
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 1: morning and I would work until ten thirty pm. I

464
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 1: got paid thirty five dollars at class, which would be

465
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: a two hour period. It was just like, I mean,

466
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 1: I hustled, I had so much fun and I was

467
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 1: exhausted and somehow in that crazy schedule. I met Alec

468
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: and then really got I mean, it was a very

469
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: romantic thing where I basically swept me off my feet.

470
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 1: And I am not a super romantic person. I am

471
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: a die hard Capricorn and we're very, very just stoic

472
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: about everything. Um. But you know, it was a world

473
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 1: that I was never prepared for. You know, I was

474
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: used to saying I'm a stay and kindness and I

475
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 1: wore yoga clothes every day. I didn't have, you know,

476
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 1: all these fancy clothes, and so you know, if I

477
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: had to go to an event, I would literally either

478
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 1: buy a borrow stuff from a friend or I would

479
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: go to like Forever twenty one or H and M

480
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: or something like that, and then people would ask me

481
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: what are you wearing? And I wish, like badass me

482
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 1: now would be like, I'm wearing Forever twenty one, and

483
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 1: I do do that. But then I was just like,

484
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, I should need to learn

485
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,680
Speaker 1: all these like fancy you know, designer names that I

486
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 1: do not know. Um. But you know, having seen that

487
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 1: and getting thrown into that, I realized, not only is

488
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 1: that a weird world for the people who are experiencing it,

489
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 1: but because of this influence that we talked about, it's

490
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: trickling down into everything that we consume and the way

491
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 1: that we talk about other women who are, you know,

492
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: in the spotlight, are the ways that we start to

493
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: talk to ourselves and the ways that we talk to

494
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,919
Speaker 1: our friends or our freenemies or our enemies straight out enemies,

495
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: and so you know, I've never remember one of the

496
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 1: first times Michelle, I was almost three months pregnant with Karmen.

497
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 1: I was about to announce that I was bringing the

498
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,959
Speaker 1: Karmena and I wore this like teal turqoise. I think

499
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 1: it's teal dress um to an event in the South.

500
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: I think we were in the South. Thing was like

501
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: an NFL event, and Christie Teagan came wearing the exact

502
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: same dress and then they put the side by side.

503
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 1: You guys, decide who wears it better, and put the

504
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: two of us next to each other, and I guess

505
00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: who lost me? Not you know, the supermodel. She perfectly fine,

506
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 1: likes absolutely beautiful, And for me, I was like, I'm

507
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 1: trying to hide that I'm three months pregnant and I

508
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 1: am like, come up to like Chrissy Teagan's like shoulder

509
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,360
Speaker 1: so she wore it better in that one, and then

510
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: afterwards something similar happened with Kim Kardashian and they're like,

511
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: who wore it better? When I was pregnant, they would

512
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: put like my pregnancy photos next to other pregnant people

513
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, who has a better pregnant belly?

514
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 1: They even compared me in Michelle. They compared me to

515
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: Kim Bay singer and to Alex ex girlfriends. And you know,

516
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: most of the time, I did not win in any

517
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 1: of these things. And then you even think, what is

518
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 1: this winning that some random person is like pressing something

519
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: on a keyboard and like, oh I I picked Kim

520
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: Kardashian or I pick Chrissie Teagan And how toxic is that?

521
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: Like how toxic is that? And then what are we

522
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: also teaching to our kids beyond comparison? Is this of

523
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: joy right? And you aren't even an active participant. Just

524
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: by existing, you're put into this ring right of competition

525
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: And it just doesn't happen to men in the same way.

526
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: Like you open a gossip magazine like those that you're referencing,

527
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: it's not like you see two very famous men. Generally

528
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,360
Speaker 1: this happens every now and then, but it's usually best dressed.

529
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 1: It's not who wore this boring old suit better than

530
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: that guy? Right, And it doesn't matter. And that's the

531
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 1: whole thing. And then we put all this weight into

532
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: it and think we did something wrong because they did

533
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 1: it better. Why did they do it better? And who

534
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: the heck made this decision? I mean, all of it

535
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: is ridiculous and hilarious and and it cultivates that in

536
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: young women because they see these magazines and they think

537
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: that that is how they have to communicate correct And

538
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: that's the whole thing. I mean, I've been told so

539
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 1: many times, don't talk about this kind of thing. No

540
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 1: one cares. It's you know, it's just gonna sound stupid

541
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: coming out of your mouth. And that's as becoming a

542
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 1: mother and also connecting more and more in building my

543
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: girlfriend group makes me want to talk about it because

544
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: again going back to that influence, the influence that trickles

545
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: down and is making all of us not just be

546
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: worse friends with each other. And again for what for

547
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: buying address, for buying a makeup product, it's, you know,

548
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: we we take out the peoples, the woman's humanity, and

549
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: we take out their soul and we just reduced her

550
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 1: down to what she looks like and what she decides

551
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: to wear. And you know that's something that I definitely

552
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,239
Speaker 1: don't want to be a part of it. I want

553
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: to do our very best on this podcast to try

554
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: to have those conversations. You know, I've seen I've seen

555
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: my niece, my nieces Haley and she her and and Selena.

556
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: You know, for years people are having all these like

557
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: crazy conversations about like what they're rift is over over

558
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: justin it's so silly. And what kind of photo We

559
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: all just saw the photo that they posted to try

560
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: to send a message to people, and it's like, what

561
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: photo do they have to to to post to make

562
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: you guys believe that they have continued on with their

563
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: lives and the people who are gossiping about them have not.

564
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: And I think one of the best examples for our

565
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: particular generation was the brand Jelina one because you had

566
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 1: people wearing team Julie Team Anniston shirts when it's just

567
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: this one married guy who cheated and it's so and

568
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 1: what that did to millennials I think really messed, really

569
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: messed with how we look at relationships. And it's only

570
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 1: manifested even more right. I know in my experience, my

571
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 1: mental health has declined so many times over stuff that

572
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: people were just poking and laughing at me about. You know,

573
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: I had times where I would, you know, stare at

574
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: myself in the mirror and be like, oh, you know what,

575
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 1: you're right, I my eyebrows are very fair by the way, guys,

576
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: I got them microblated, so you know what, I guess

577
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 1: I jumped on that that one, and I'm happy with

578
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: that choice, but it made me feel so bad because

579
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 1: people would write but like, don't you know how to

580
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 1: pencil in your eyebrows? I don't want to be like, well,

581
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: actually I do not. I teach you all the day

582
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: and I do not wear makeup, so um, you know.

583
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 1: I mean, I had this whole thing, but it really

584
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: made me feel very bad about myself and some of

585
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,479
Speaker 1: the stuff I jumped on, like the bandwagon and I did,

586
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 1: and some of the stuff I had to just learn

587
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: to be more comfortable with myself and realize that there's

588
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: just going to be people that are going to tear

589
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: me down. But then at the same time, I was thinking,

590
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to be a part of

591
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: that and I have to when I'm somebody that when

592
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: I see something that's unjust or experience something unjust, I

593
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: realized that other people are probably seeing and experiencing it too,

594
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: So I feel the need to speak up about it.

595
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: Who the hell is wasting their time being so petty

596
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 1: and cruel when there's so much more you can do

597
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: with your energy, You know, it's impossible not to absorb it.

598
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: So I guess that is our exercise here. That's something

599
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: we have to work on and try to cultivate for

600
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 1: our community, is how not to absorb that negativity and

601
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: how not to perpetuate that negative cycle of women being

602
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: so critical, you know. And it's not just what we're

603
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: experiencing as adults and looking in these magazines. It's also

604
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: the stuff that we grew up with, you know. I

605
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 1: was one of the one of the mind blowing experiences

606
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: I've had over the past two years is I was

607
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 1: obsessed with snow White growing up. I named some pets

608
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: after snow White. I loved snow White, and then I

609
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: started thinking about women and us competing with each other,

610
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 1: and that I used to listen to the Queen say mirror,

611
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all,

612
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: and the mirror is a man, and the mirror would

613
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 1: always say you. And then one day the mirror said

614
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: snow White, who is a younger woman. And the queen's

615
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: way of dealing with this, you know, competition maybe is

616
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: that she ordered snow White to be killed, brought into

617
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: the forest, killed, and have her heart delivered to her

618
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: in a box. If you guys remember that correctly. And

619
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,720
Speaker 1: the fact that we saw this as children and we

620
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 1: continue to show this to our kids is kind of frightening. Um.

621
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 1: But it was a man said somebody else was more beautiful,

622
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 1: because there can apparently be only one beautiful person, and

623
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: then it put this fierce competition where she had to

624
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: get somebody else to go and kill her. And you know, Michelle,

625
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,360
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's horrifying because these are the messages

626
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: that we grew up with. Yeah, I mean, in going

627
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: to the Disney movie that I love that it has

628
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 1: disturbed disturbed me the most as an adult. That's the

629
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: Little Mermaid. And you know, Arielle gives up her voice

630
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: to have a better shot with this guy that she

631
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: doesn't even know. She gives Ursula her voice so she

632
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 1: can have legs like what one is willing to give

633
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 1: up to conform to maybe make it work with what

634
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: you think is Prince charming. But I still think at

635
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: the end of the day, just what it represented as

636
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: a little girl to give your voice away for a man.

637
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: And there's so many resounding themes of that in life,

638
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: in relationship dynamics, in literature. We will cover this over

639
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: and over again because your voice is your power and

640
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: your agency, and that's taken way you're nothing but an object.

641
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,280
Speaker 1: And I think that's a very important thing for us

642
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 1: to keep coming back to. Michelle, What does it mean

643
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: for you? What's your definition of a witch? Mhm. I

644
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 1: see being a witch as a positive, encouraging thing and

645
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to limit it into the two containers

646
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: of being good or being bad, because there's so much

647
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: to it and will expand on this every week when

648
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: we honor these women. One of the things I've loved

649
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,239
Speaker 1: about what you've said since the beginning is that by

650
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 1: using the term which, which was obviously you know, there

651
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: are people that we're going to talk to talk about

652
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: in history and today that when they hear the word

653
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: which and somebody's pointing at them, they know that that

654
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,719
Speaker 1: means that they're not going to live, and that they

655
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: weren't going to live. You know, I mean this, which

656
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 1: is has been a very cruel term over a very

657
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: long piece of human history. And so one of the

658
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: things that I loved about, you know, what you've said

659
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: to me, Michelle over the past year is that we're

660
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: reclaiming that word. We're taking that word that has been

661
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: used to shame women and to hurt women and kill

662
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:10,240
Speaker 1: women over and over and over again over so many years,

663
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: you know, and we're taking it and we're saying, hey,

664
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: you know what being a woman is powerful for me,

665
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: being a witch is that it is it is a

666
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: powerful nature. There has been times where I felt the negative,

667
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 1: which where I'm I'm feeling that I'm being excluded and

668
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 1: pointed at um or you know, as we talked about before,

669
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 1: where I felt, you know, in the past, I excluded

670
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: people and um and I didn't come together, and probably

671
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 1: purely because of all the stuff that we've listened with

672
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: that we've talked about about how I'm you know, we

673
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: grow up being concerned about the other woman because it's

674
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: survival of the fittest. We are repressed group. You know

675
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: we are, but we're fifty percent of the population. And

676
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 1: if we get this right, if we bring this coming together,

677
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: if we get on the same side, we're going to

678
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: really have so many options and rise up to the

679
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,359
Speaker 1: place of freedom that we really want to it into.

680
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: You know, times where I've been the negative, which I

681
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 1: remember that, you know, pr people would say to me.

682
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 1: They'd say, oh, don't worry. You know, this is just

683
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: something that's being done, and if you wait a minute,

684
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 1: they'll move on to the next. They always move on

685
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:19,279
Speaker 1: to the next. And I heard that a bunch of times,

686
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,439
Speaker 1: and then one time when somebody said it, I looked

687
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: at them and I said, I don't want to have

688
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 1: them move on to the next. I don't want them

689
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 1: to because this is such a bad feeling to be

690
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: pointed at and excluded. And if we are just moving

691
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: onto the next one and I'm staying silent, I don't

692
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: think I can live with myself. You know. I have

693
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: to feel the pain and the injustice of you know,

694
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 1: these of these feelings and reach out and realize because

695
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't just happen to me. I need to do

696
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: my very best to make sense out of it, and

697
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: then to create a space where we can talk about it,

698
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,040
Speaker 1: which is ultimately what we're doing here. I mean that

699
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 1: is that is the goal of this show to come

700
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: together and know. By the way, guys, no little trauma

701
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: or your feelings hurt is too small. One of the

702
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: things that women get shamed with a lot of like,

703
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 1: oh it could have been so much worse or oh

704
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: my god, you know those problems it doesn't matter, are

705
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 1: like are you really talking about fashion and beauty? You

706
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: know what for people who grew up, I had an

707
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: eating sort of for twenty years of my life growing up,

708
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 1: and I'll talk about that when we when we get

709
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: into that that you know, part of the episodes. But yes,

710
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: it did have a lot to do with what I

711
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: felt I looked like and how I felt about myself.

712
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: So there is nothing that is either too big or

713
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: too small that doesn't filter into our mental health. So

714
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: don't ever let anyone shame you that the things that

715
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: you feel are not valid for you living your best life.

716
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: And if you again allow yourself what is that quote,

717
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: Michelle that a woman who allows herself to be free

718
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: gives permission to other people to do exactly the same,

719
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: And um, you know that is in essence, what going

720
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: back to what you said about intuition, right, allowing yourself

721
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 1: to be free and to trust yourself. And so we

722
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 1: are here to keep cultivating that part of the conversation

723
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: because we don't live in a society that encourages anyone

724
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: to trust their gut to listen to themselves. And that

725
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: goes back to which definitions, because by by trusting oneself

726
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: and allowing your internal compass to lead you, you make

727
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: great decisions. I mean, that is a gift that we

728
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: are all given that our society ignores and largely just

729
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: called silli or woo woo or whatever. But time and

730
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 1: time again it proves to be one of our most

731
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: powerful assets. And so that's something that will keep coming

732
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,880
Speaker 1: back to here because you and I talk about it

733
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: all the time. But intuition is magical and I guess

734
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,720
Speaker 1: that combines with witchery and I'm okay with that because

735
00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: it's gotten us this far and it's only going to

736
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: get better, and we're here to just keep having this

737
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: calm rectation really make it safe and inspiring. And again

738
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: like no complaints too big or too small, and we

739
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 1: never have to minimize our struggles because they're all real.

740
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: We're all going through something and that's why this container

741
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: is going to be a safe place where we leave

742
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: with love and we help each other find our power

743
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: because so often it's taken away. This is a place

744
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: where women support women. We're going to take care of

745
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 1: each other. We're going to talk about some of the

746
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 1: uncomfortable things. We're going to talk about a lot of

747
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 1: the really comfortable things where we can get inspired about,

748
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,320
Speaker 1: you know, how we can treat each other better and

749
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 1: create a safer environment, not just for the next generation,

750
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: but for each other, because hey, we deserve it too,

751
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: and how often do we as women are we able

752
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 1: to say we deserve it? Hi, It's Bethany Frankel. My

753
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 1: time on the wheel Housewives of New York is a

754
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 1: few years behind me, and now I'm ready to put

755
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: the reel back into the real Housewives. That's where my

756
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:02,400
Speaker 1: new podcast Rewives comes in. It isn't your typical rewatch podcast.

757
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: I'm watching only the most iconic episodes from all cities.

758
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 1: I'm sharing never before heard stories of what happened behind

759
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 1: the scenes, and I'm not just pulling in cast members

760
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: for postgame analysis. I'm doing something a little more interesting.

761
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: If you've ever seen an episode of The wheelhouse Wives,

762
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,439
Speaker 1: you know the drill. But beyond throwing drinks and legs,

763
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: there are lessons about marriage, divorce, friendship, money, parenting, and fame.

764
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: If you have the right minds, analyze and dig deeper.

765
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: So I'm bringing on unexpected thought leaders and celebrities to

766
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: get their take on the chaos this season. I sit

767
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: down with Elizabeth Moss, Kevin Neal and Zusie Orman, Griffin

768
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: Johnson and more. You think that there isn't much to

769
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: learn from flipping tables and yanking wigs, but that's where

770
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: you're wrong. Listen to Rewives with Bethany Frankel on the

771
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get

772
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:58,399
Speaker 1: your favorite podcasts. All right, guys, we're introducing something called

773
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 1: what are We Coveting in the Coven, which is we're

774
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,480
Speaker 1: gonna do every single time, um, every single episode, we're

775
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: going to recommend something, a product, a quote, a book, um,

776
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,959
Speaker 1: something some experience that we've tried. And the one rule

777
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 1: about it is Michelle and I cannot be sponsored by

778
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: this company or whatever it is, and we really can't

779
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,360
Speaker 1: have a connection with it whatever. So it's literally just

780
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 1: something that we absolutely love and we want to share

781
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 1: with you. And today mine is Michelle my phone case.

782
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: So you guys all know that really I have like

783
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: kind of a really ugly hallway outside of my apartment,

784
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: and um, it's why I live in a very old

785
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,719
Speaker 1: school New York building and I take these selfies in

786
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 1: this really ugly mirror. And my husband, you know, ten

787
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 1: years ago when I started doing this, like it was

788
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 1: just like, can't you find like a prettier mirror around

789
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: the apartment? I was like, no, this is part of

790
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: it is that I love just this, like how bad

791
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: the lighting is and everything. And so you guys always

792
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: see my little selfies and my phone case. So my

793
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: phone case is thing called plant because you guys have

794
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: asked about a lot, and I love it because it's

795
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: modern and I'm all into like modern things right now.

796
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,760
Speaker 1: And um, it's so it's a plant case. It's an almond.

797
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: I like it from having a million children who would

798
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 1: throw my phone around all the time. It's never broken

799
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,360
Speaker 1: knock on wood and um. And then the bear that

800
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,959
Speaker 1: I have on it, which you guys have asked about,

801
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,919
Speaker 1: is just a pop socket. It doesn't come with the case,

802
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: but it is from Etsy and if you just google

803
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 1: pop socket bear um or not at Google, ets at

804
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: pop socket pop socket Bear. This one is in rose

805
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: gold and I absolutely love it. I've bought so many

806
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: that I have a drawer to my right side right now.

807
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: We're probably about a dozen different bears in it. She's

808
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: always always showing up to dinner with a different bear.

809
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: It's just it's very glamorous. So mine this week, Um,

810
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: I went with something that I use all the time

811
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: because I'm tired a lot, and I shouldn't be saying

812
00:41:56,360 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: that to someone with so many more kids than I have. Um,

813
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: but I'm going there and I've travel a lot for work,

814
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: and so I have the I got on Amazon and

815
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 1: I buy these like under eyed jelly things that revived

816
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: me and so I put them. I put them in

817
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 1: the fridge so they're always cold, and I'm just gonna

818
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 1: put one on, so you know, but it's like this

819
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: crazy like little under eye gel gold. Leave these on

820
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,760
Speaker 1: for a while, because wait, you travel with them? I travel,

821
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: I travel. There's you can get travel packs, you can

822
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 1: get jars of them. I don't know, I mean, like,

823
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 1: are you on the airplane with them on? Oh? I've

824
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: definitely done that. Um, I don't love that. Not every time.

825
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: There's been some like more international trips when you know,

826
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, let's like who cares some

827
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: in pajamas, but yes, so this is this is them.

828
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: He's like, get me through all my hardest time. So

829
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: then you just you look a little brighter and you're

830
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: faking that maybe you've got some more sleep. So yeah,

831
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: under Eye gel patches, any brand, they're like snail under

832
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: eye things, get them money Amazon. You're very shiny right now.

833
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 1: All right, Witches, thank you for joining our coven. Make

834
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 1: sure you follow us on Instagram at Witches a non pod,

835
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 1: and subscribe to follow the show on the I Heart

836
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts, and remember,

837
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: don't be a bitch, be a witch. See you next time. Hi,