Speaker 1: Okay, hell, it's only films to be buried with Hello,
Speaker 1: and welcome to films to be buried with the Resurrection.
Speaker 1: My name is Brett Woldstein. I'm a comedian and actor,
Speaker 1: a writer, a director, a chieftain, and I love films.
Speaker 1: As Frederick Nietzsche once said, convictions are more dangerous foes
Speaker 1: of truth than lies. Also, Secrets and Lies is one
Speaker 1: of the better Mike Lead films. Yeah, that's factualized by
Speaker 1: It's quite a weird one, Nietzsche. But I heard you
Speaker 1: a difficult man. Every week i'm by a special guest over,
Speaker 1: I tell them they've died. Then I get them to
Speaker 1: discuss their life through the films that meant the most
Speaker 1: of them. But not this week. This week I use
Speaker 1: my newly acquired shamanic powers to bring back a former
Speaker 1: guest from the dead and ask them twelve new questions.
Speaker 1: And this week it is the return of the amazing
Speaker 1: at mister Romesh Ranger Nathan. Head over to the patroon
Speaker 1: at patreon dot com forward slash Brett Goldstein, where you
Speaker 1: get twenty five minutes extra chat questions with Romesh, you
Speaker 1: get a secret for him, you get the whole thing uncut,
Speaker 1: Noah ads. You also get it as a video. All
Speaker 1: that and more over at patron dot com. Forward Slash,
Speaker 1: Brett Goldstein your TV homework. Watch season one of the
Speaker 1: Emmy nominated Ted Lasso on the Apple TV app before
Speaker 1: season two starts on July twenty three, and What Soul
Speaker 1: Makes Season one on Amazon Prime. One will make you happy,
Speaker 1: the other will make you question your relationships. So this
Speaker 1: is episode one hundred and fifty five. We have Baster
Speaker 1: winning comedian Rames, frank and Nathan. He's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite comics. He's one of my favorite people. That's very
Speaker 1: happy to record this over two hours on zoom and
Speaker 1: frankly my side from laughing. He's the best. You love him.
Speaker 1: I love him. This one is a classic. I hope
Speaker 1: you enjoy it as much as we did recording it.
Speaker 1: So that is it for now. I very much hope
Speaker 1: you enjoy episode one hundred and fifty five of Films
Speaker 1: to be Buried with the Resurrection. Hello, and welcome to
Speaker 1: Films to be Buried with the Resurrection. I am joined
Speaker 1: today by an actor, a writer, a presenter, a man,
Speaker 1: a league of their owner, a weakest linker, an autobiographer,
Speaker 1: ra a memoirista, a stand up comedian, a teacher, a father,
Speaker 1: a husband, a man with no boundaries. Please, welcome to
Speaker 1: the show, my hero and yours. The incredible, the beautiful,
Speaker 1: the fantastic, the tremendous. It's only it's mister Ramesh ragan Athan. Wow. Wow,
Speaker 1: what an intro. He's back, baby, Yeah, very long intro.
Speaker 1: I liked it a lot. Stand up comedian came so
Speaker 1: low down in the list of things it was. I
Speaker 1: did it backwards. It was order of importance. Actually opened
Speaker 1: with actor, which I realized if I've now put in order,
Speaker 1: maybe I should have thought about the beginning if I
Speaker 1: was working. The point is, you're very good at both.
Speaker 1: So sorry, did did you decide that? Did you decide
Speaker 1: on that halfway through? It always goes in reverse to
Speaker 1: but all of them are all of them are talents.
Speaker 1: Yeah but yeah, sure, but you but you're doing in
Speaker 1: reverse order. You said actor without hesitation, didn't open strong
Speaker 1: an actor. Yeah, but but it's basically in training guy.
Speaker 1: He's definitely worse than acting of all the things he does. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and teaching was really high and yeah, that's certainly you
Speaker 1: didn't even do no A mixed bag romes I cannot
Speaker 1: tell you outscited and to see you again. Take you
Speaker 1: for coming back on this show. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: It's been a year. It's been a year. It's been
Speaker 1: a year since you begged me to be on the show,
Speaker 1: and then I've now begged you to come back. And
Speaker 1: you did make it. You made it hard and fair
Speaker 1: enough because I made it hard the first time, and
Speaker 1: many ways we're even. But I did have to beg.
Speaker 1: I didn't say, I wouldn't say you begged like I begged.
Speaker 1: I begged over a period of months you've had you
Speaker 1: had to send three texts. If that's what you if
Speaker 1: that's what you classifize, But if you if your level
Speaker 1: of required dignity is so high that you cansider that begging,
Speaker 1: then fair enough that third text was desperate. Do you
Speaker 1: know what the worst thing about the figures, as I
Speaker 1: said to the worst thing about the first time I
Speaker 1: did this podcast, is you and I sort of blindly
Speaker 1: speculating and what's going to happen to comedy without any
Speaker 1: real appreciation because of when we were talking about it,
Speaker 1: about how that was going to pan out. Do you
Speaker 1: remember I reckon, We said we weren't going to do
Speaker 1: zoom gigs or anything. And since then, I reckon, I've
Speaker 1: had a hundred I remember, remember the venom of which
Speaker 1: we spoke of the potential of doing zoom gigs, and yeah,
Speaker 1: this very attic week. You see me now, me crawling
Speaker 1: around in front of aunt love me into a camera
Speaker 1: and then the vacuum of silence that ends when you
Speaker 1: finish the zoom gig and you're just stood in your attic.
Speaker 1: There were plus points and negative points to my zoom
Speaker 1: gig experience. I had to do zoom gigs because I
Speaker 1: was doing the show The Ranglon Nation and had to
Speaker 1: run the monologue. So I did it with James Gill,
Speaker 1: who always be combat to lovely the legend that is
Speaker 1: James Gill and the legendary night that has always be comedy,
Speaker 1: and he had like a front rowing and stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The thing about zoom is I think one of the
Speaker 1: lowest points had early on, and I think everyone's had this,
Speaker 1: So I'm fully aware that this is sort of a
Speaker 1: cliche gig sort of hack thing to say. It was
Speaker 1: the moment when I was trying that new material and
Speaker 1: then I said to them after like I did a
Speaker 1: joke that i'd really, I'd really when I'd written it,
Speaker 1: I this is so funny, and it was like it
Speaker 1: was like this idea of like, you know, the Save
Speaker 1: Our Summer, the Save Our Summer six, like Richie Snak
Speaker 1: and all that. They were sort of employed to save
Speaker 1: the Summer last year, and I did a whole bit
Speaker 1: about them being a superhero group. And I ran this
Speaker 1: bit at the Zoom gig and at the end of it,
Speaker 1: nothing happened, and I went, can everyone hear me? And
Speaker 1: everyone went, yeah, it was. It was so so horrible.
Speaker 1: It was so wrong. It's my screen, it's my screen phrases, no, yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: so horrible. And then the other thing. But the other
Speaker 1: thing was I did a couple of corporate gigs on
Speaker 1: Zoom and that that thing where you finished, because you know,
Speaker 1: corporate gigs are so soul destroying and horrible, or they
Speaker 1: can be, so they can be. They're not always, but
Speaker 1: I would say over the ones that I've done have
Speaker 1: been Yeah, they literally literally to go do you will?
Speaker 1: How much money will you take for a feeling of
Speaker 1: complete shame and self lady? Yeah, totally. What people don't
Speaker 1: realize is there are a finite number of corporate gigs
Speaker 1: that you're sul can withstand So when you're when you're
Speaker 1: being paid for that gig, what they're saying that is
Speaker 1: a gig opportunity that's been taken away from you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: did I tell you that I did? I did one
Speaker 1: in Manchester. Once you go to the hotel, I had
Speaker 1: to go to hotel as a surprise guest, so I
Speaker 1: had to hide in the hotel room pretty much. I
Speaker 1: wasn't allowed to wander around the hotel. And then they
Speaker 1: come and get me and take me down this back
Speaker 1: like secret route to the room. So they came to
Speaker 1: knock on my door like ten minutes before you to
Speaker 1: go on. They take me through and the woman's briefing
Speaker 1: me about it and I go, okay, cool, thanks, thanks,
Speaker 1: And then we get into the lift to go down
Speaker 1: to the gig and she goes, we can I ask
Speaker 1: you a question? I said yeah, sure. She goes, do
Speaker 1: you actually want to be here? And I went what?
Speaker 1: I went? Sorry? Yeah? She goes, It's just I'm telling
Speaker 1: you what's going on tonight. She goes, you couldn't look
Speaker 1: less interested. She goes, it's a big event for us.
Speaker 1: As she goes and I'm explaining it to you. You
Speaker 1: just utterly fed up. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I said, I'm really I said, I'm really sorry. I
Speaker 1: go it's just how I am said, I said, like,
Speaker 1: it's just my face and my voice and everything. I said,
Speaker 1: I said, I do want to be here, but but
Speaker 1: I don't know what you want. But you know, the
Speaker 1: other thing is sort of sorry, are you arrogant enough
Speaker 1: to assume that I want to be here because I
Speaker 1: believe in the event, because I believe in the awards?
Speaker 1: Is that what you think? I'm here for the Best
Speaker 1: screw Driver of twenty Yeah, this is This has always
Speaker 1: been my dream. Yeah, I've always wanted My main thing
Speaker 1: is to be at the awards for the people that
Speaker 1: put music in adverts. Yes, please, I've waived the fee.
Speaker 1: That's how much you want to be here? Fucking hell. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But the thing about doing it on Zoom is like
Speaker 1: you do the corporate you do this thing, and it's
Speaker 1: like sort of horrible as all gigs are, and then
Speaker 1: as all corporate gigs are, and then Zoom gig, and
Speaker 1: then you just shut your laptop and you're in your house.
Speaker 1: It's an amazing thing. It's not amazing. You know, the
Speaker 1: idea of shutting your laptop and being in your house
Speaker 1: being amazing is one of the biggest misuses of that
Speaker 1: word ever, probably, but but yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I do find that the shutting the laptop after the
Speaker 1: Zoom gig is the weirdest feeling. Is when I felt
Speaker 1: most mad, because occasionally, only when you do always be comedy.
Speaker 1: When you do and always be comedy gig, sometimes it
Speaker 1: does feel like you get a tenth of what it's
Speaker 1: like to do a real gig, and it feels a
Speaker 1: bad But then you shut the laptop and it's just
Speaker 1: a vacuum of silence in your attic, and not only
Speaker 1: do you think you're insane, but like you're also like
Speaker 1: did that just happen? There's no evidence. It's like I
Speaker 1: now just stood here, like I've time trapped, like a
Speaker 1: teleported do you know what I mean. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: like you compare that. It's like when you go on
Speaker 1: Tory do a gig or whatever. You're in a room
Speaker 1: with loads of people like laughing, and you know you
Speaker 1: having a great time. You walk out and people are
Speaker 1: going on, mate, that was great, blah blah, blah, and
Speaker 1: then half an hour later you're in your underwear in
Speaker 1: a sandwich in a hotel like that. The contrast is
Speaker 1: so insane. I like the number of times I've been
Speaker 1: sat in a hotel sort of watching Netflix, sandwich in hand,
Speaker 1: in my underwear and just sort of had a sort
Speaker 1: of a deliberate out of body experience, just sort of
Speaker 1: feel sorry for yourself. Yeah, see yourself on your own.
Speaker 1: It's so bleak. The sandwich in a hotel, the sandwich
Speaker 1: in a travel lodge after smashing a gig is ah,
Speaker 1: it's so it's so rogue. I mean, like, and then
Speaker 1: you sort of this doing a corporate it's so weird
Speaker 1: because we've been doing a corporate and then shutting my
Speaker 1: laptop and then walking next door to join Leasha and
Speaker 1: the kids for a pasta dinner. It's just such a weird.
Speaker 1: It's such a weird transition. I feel like you need
Speaker 1: a bit more time for your head to get out
Speaker 1: of that narcissism mode of of thinking that everybody needs
Speaker 1: to be facing you as you speak about something you've
Speaker 1: thought of. I mean, I don't command that level of
Speaker 1: attention at the dinner table. I've found if I see friends.
Speaker 1: If I see people after a gig too soon after
Speaker 1: a gig, there hasn't been a sufficient gap of say
Speaker 1: an hour, but I'll arrive in sort of battle made
Speaker 1: and I'll fucking like roast people quite aggressively. And I
Speaker 1: remember my friend said to me, have you just finished
Speaker 1: the gig? And yeah, Well anyway, because you're being fucking horrible,
Speaker 1: like someone like, how you doing, I'm like, yeah, nice haircut, dickhead? Whatever? Yeah,
Speaker 1: great question for dinner? Nob ed? Did you get all
Speaker 1: your conversation? Starts from generic conversating starters Book one O one?
Speaker 1: Did you learn to whisper a helicopter? You can't pass
Speaker 1: me the salt? What do you do? You work in
Speaker 1: the cats? Boring? You can? That's my new boyfriend. Sorry?
Speaker 1: How long have you two been together? Oh he doesn't know.
Speaker 1: He doesn't fucking know. He's not getting a blowjob to.
Speaker 1: What is a wanka? I te is it? Pawn? Sorry? Sorry? Everyone,
Speaker 1: I'm delighted to be here. How much do I get
Speaker 1: in for this? You're at a party? He's another question
Speaker 1: we talked. I'll tell you this. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if you'll be able to answer this, but I am
Speaker 1: genuinely always fascinated by because we talked about it last
Speaker 1: year in the fact of you involving you know, the
Speaker 1: boundaries between your private life and your professional life. You
Speaker 1: make shows with your mum, you make shows with your brother,
Speaker 1: everyone's involved. And then during the pandemic you started do
Speaker 1: you started doing Facebook lives with your wife and just
Speaker 1: chatting and ask you, you know, ask me a questions
Speaker 1: my wife, here's my life, and I guess I find it.
Speaker 1: I want to know, at what point is something private
Speaker 1: to you? Well, I've got to say as first of all,
Speaker 1: as content generation goes, that's a load point for me.
Speaker 1: You know, no disrespect to my wife, but I think
Speaker 1: I was in a the idea that me and Lisa
Speaker 1: sitting in front of our laptop talking every day with
Speaker 1: no preparation is it's so it's so narcissistic. And the
Speaker 1: thing is that the way that the way that us
Speaker 1: comedians cope with the narcissism which actually convinced ourselves with
Speaker 1: doing a public service. It's so tragic. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a good question. I don't know. I mean, I do
Speaker 1: have I do have things that are private, but like
Speaker 1: I have, as we all do, sort of issues with
Speaker 1: anxiety and relationship issues and parenting issues and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: And so whenever I'm going through something, and by the way,
Speaker 1: I'm not putting myself in that, I'm not putting myself
Speaker 1: on a pedestal or anything like that. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't want that to come across like that. But like
Speaker 1: whenever I hear somebody that I've seen on something or
Speaker 1: that I like the work of or whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: and I mean like if I see them talking about
Speaker 1: something that I've gone through or that I'm going through,
Speaker 1: I feel I find it hugely reassuring. And so like
Speaker 1: when going through the thing that we're all, you know,
Speaker 1: going through lockdown or whatever, or going through whatever. You know,
Speaker 1: I've got anxiety, I've got I've got a phobia of
Speaker 1: the dentist. I've just written a thing. I've just written
Speaker 1: it little literally written an article about that right that
Speaker 1: to me, I just sort of think somebody is going
Speaker 1: to read that and go fucking hell that person they
Speaker 1: go through that as well. I Mean, it's like the
Speaker 1: reason that I sort of got Lisa involved is one
Speaker 1: that she hates it, and I found that I found
Speaker 1: that like really enjoyable, but Also, I feel like Lisa
Speaker 1: and I in this. I've been with Lisa for twelve
Speaker 1: years now, and I am deeply, deeply in love with her,
Speaker 1: right and and I feel like I love her more
Speaker 1: than I have ever done. But we're not in it.
Speaker 1: We're not in a textbook exciting part of our relationship.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, you know, Like to give you
Speaker 1: an example, we went out ages ago. The last time
Speaker 1: we went out was ages ago as a couple. Right,
Speaker 1: and I had a gig, and the reason it happened
Speaker 1: by accident because Lisa supposed to having a girl's night.
Speaker 1: I was doing a gig. We sort of a babysitter.
Speaker 1: Her girls night fell through, So I said, why don't
Speaker 1: you come to the gig with me and we'll go
Speaker 1: out afterwards. Right, she came to the gig. We're on
Speaker 1: our way back, and I said, I can't be asked
Speaker 1: to do dinner, can you? And she goes, I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you said that I can't either, And then we said,
Speaker 1: but we've got to stay out for a bit otherwise
Speaker 1: the babysitter is going to think we're a pair of
Speaker 1: fucking losers. So we went to a pub and had
Speaker 1: a drink for the amount of time that we think.
Speaker 1: We thought it would take us a point where we
Speaker 1: could go back and let the babysit and go home
Speaker 1: without it being embarrassing, right and so like so you sai,
Speaker 1: And as we went in, we went in about quarter
Speaker 1: to ten, so, you know, still tragic, and I sort
Speaker 1: of look as we go in. There's like a woman
Speaker 1: looking after our kids is in her early twenties, and
Speaker 1: I felt conscious the fact that I was giving her
Speaker 1: a bleak look into what a potential future might be.
Speaker 1: You know, like it it's not exciting, it's really fucking sad.
Speaker 1: And so you'd go, well, god, it sounds like you
Speaker 1: guys in a rut, but we're not in a rut.
Speaker 1: I mean like love and I hope she loves me,
Speaker 1: and it's it's fun. It's like the most fun bit
Speaker 1: of our relationship I've ever been in. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: that thing of talking about that I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: giving you a big excuse for doing Facebook videos without
Speaker 1: any preparation really, but but I just find it interested
Speaker 1: in talking about it. No, I genuinely I fucking love it.
Speaker 1: And I think and actually that story, in all seriousness
Speaker 1: is actually very romantic and love it and tells us
Speaker 1: a lot about it. I'm just so it's I think
Speaker 1: I find you endlessly fascinating because I know I'm basically
Speaker 1: the opposite intern I know you are. I know you are,
Speaker 1: You're very guardless. It's everything very separate. Yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I just find it fast. And also there's absolutely it's
Speaker 1: I love it like I genuinely watched your Facebook lives
Speaker 1: I think every day and what you say you're saying
Speaker 1: is I loved it like it did. I found it comforting.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed checking in on your marriage. But I also
Speaker 1: just always thought like what if I mean, hopefully, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming nothing particularly bad happens, but I did think, what
Speaker 1: if one day you had like a massive argument and
Speaker 1: you were like, suddenly the Facebook life wasn't there that
Speaker 1: we'd all become so comforting by. It's like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: things are you know? It's like almost like a reality
Speaker 1: TV show, like where have they gone? I've become so
Speaker 1: dependent on them. You'd have to just be honest when't
Speaker 1: you and go yeah for the massive argument. Chances that
Speaker 1: as my fault. Thanks for thanks for answering. That's the
Speaker 1: tricky way. Also, one last thing before we, you know,
Speaker 1: do the sort of meat of it is? Even anyone
Speaker 1: in another bathter, isn't you? Oh yeah yeah, lovely Stafford
Speaker 1: that mate. Yeah I got little sing locks away. Yeah yeah, congratulations,
Speaker 1: that's fun. Thanks very much. I love you winning bathters.
Speaker 1: I want to win all of them. Do you sometimes
Speaker 1: feel like those awards it's a bit unfair that you
Speaker 1: get awarded for stuff like that because I don't want
Speaker 1: to sound all whanky or whatever, but like we shouldn't
Speaker 1: be getting awards, should be you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I do feel a bit like do you remember the
Speaker 1: Seinfeld didn did a thing about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember. I remember that. Yeah. I always think about
Speaker 1: It's like comedians should be at the back slagging off
Speaker 1: the wards, not winning them. And it's like, yeah, do
Speaker 1: you know what you need? But yeah, you feel like
Speaker 1: and I hesitate saying this word. It's it's a validation
Speaker 1: and we shouldn't need validation. We absolutely shouldn't. And that's
Speaker 1: why I sort of hesitate saying that word. But it's
Speaker 1: an external validation for something you do. Where's yours? Where's
Speaker 1: your baptist? Well, the first one I don't know where
Speaker 1: it is the second one, the one I just got
Speaker 1: very grateful. Yeah, I'm very grateful because no, it's the
Speaker 1: thing of winning physical it's not. It's not the physical.
Speaker 1: The physical trophy is not what you're excited about, is it.
Speaker 1: It's but the second one I brought down, my mum
Speaker 1: actually did quite a She came around and she asked
Speaker 1: for a photo with the bathtera, which I did. I
Speaker 1: took a photo of her with the and then she
Speaker 1: pasted the photo, and then somebody said, did you take
Speaker 1: it home with you? Right? And then my mum replied,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't let me like she didn't ask me, right,
Speaker 1: she didn't ask if she could take home, and she
Speaker 1: could have she could have done. And then underneath it
Speaker 1: was all these comments about, oh, that's very ungrateful, bearing
Speaker 1: in mind that you know you're one of the main
Speaker 1: reasons he's ended up, Like all of her friends started
Speaker 1: piling in. I'm getting you've managed to turn a bath
Speaker 1: to win into a situation on getting absolutely fucking coated
Speaker 1: off on your Facebook. It's mental. I actually ended up.
Speaker 1: This is so sad. I actually ended up replying, going moment,
Speaker 1: it's not true. You could have it as long as
Speaker 1: you want. And then she came around and she goes out, well,
Speaker 1: I we never talked about it. I said, yeah, because
Speaker 1: because why would you talk about Why would that come up?
Speaker 1: Why would I bring that up? You come round to
Speaker 1: ask her a photo of my bath to go mom?
Speaker 1: Do you want to take it home for a bit?
Speaker 1: What a weird thing to suggest. Yeah, that's what happened, genuinely,
Speaker 1: what happened anyway, Robbish rug good. Nathan, you have been
Speaker 1: brought back to life because I like you. But what
Speaker 1: time of your life would you like to come back
Speaker 1: to to today or earlier? Any regrets you'd like to fix?
Speaker 1: Make sure? All right? All right? Yeah, no they I'll
Speaker 1: come back today. I've got no regrets really well, I
Speaker 1: mean there are you know, there are things I regret
Speaker 1: to him, but I'd come back to day. But maybe
Speaker 1: asked to be slightly more attractive or something. Hey, if
Speaker 1: I may say, as far as I can tell, ain't
Speaker 1: seen you for a bit. You look fit. It's fat. Well,
Speaker 1: that's very it's very kind of you to say, but
Speaker 1: you've little like you've been working out. Well, that's very
Speaker 1: kind of that's also very kind of you to say.
Speaker 1: What that is is setting a very low bar about
Speaker 1: a year ago. That's the that's the diet plan I
Speaker 1: can recommend. Do you allow yourself to do you allow
Speaker 1: yourself to balloon to a point yeah, where even in
Speaker 1: T shirts you look like you've got your top off
Speaker 1: because they're so snug. I mean, you get yourself to
Speaker 1: a point when what that normal people would call sort
Speaker 1: of average, and then they fuck, you look great? You
Speaker 1: look great, But actually what you just said is you
Speaker 1: look like shit a year ago. But that's basically are
Speaker 1: you allowed to I don't know, are you allowed to
Speaker 1: compliment people on their weight now? Because I don't know,
Speaker 1: And it's a good point. Maybe that wasn't No, that
Speaker 1: wasn't me having a go. Yeah, it totally wasn't me.
Speaker 1: But like apparently, I don't know, there's there's been a
Speaker 1: rule change. Doesn't there an official rule change about stuff
Speaker 1: like this? Yeah, you're not. You're not supposed to notice anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. Or if you say,
Speaker 1: if you say somebody you look great because they've lost weight, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think what you're supposed to do well this time?
Speaker 1: This is all freestyling by me. Now, I think what
Speaker 1: you're space to go is did you were you meaning
Speaker 1: to lose weight? And then really, yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: what you're meant to go, sorry to notice, but as
Speaker 1: there have been a terrible accident because you're suddenly very slim,
Speaker 1: are you okay that even if they and then and
Speaker 1: then if they go, yes, I deliberately wanted to lose
Speaker 1: right to look better, then you go, look it right, right.
Speaker 1: But if they say I'm actually grieving and I've just
Speaker 1: not been eating and I'm very sad, you go, you look,
Speaker 1: you're right. In the past you would have said something like, well,
Speaker 1: loss suits you. I'm not talking about weight, but that
Speaker 1: also suits you. Also, you're single now clearly because of
Speaker 1: the grief. Thing you have to lay because this new
Speaker 1: thing is. Yeah, you have made yourself. You have made
Speaker 1: yourself easily pick up a ball again. I think that's fine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all of that. You can't say that that's how you
Speaker 1: and are would behave at a funeral in the past.
Speaker 1: You can't do that anymore, can't do It's a different time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now you just have to say so. If now you
Speaker 1: actually have to say so, if you lost and having
Speaker 1: day to say anything about your weight, yeah, correct, But
Speaker 1: that's a lovely hat. Yeah. Absolutely, but you've come back
Speaker 1: to life. Everyone's delighted to see you, big fans, but
Speaker 1: what they want to talk about is your life through film.
Speaker 1: It's sort of and stuff. And the first question they
Speaker 1: ask you is what was the last film you saw?
Speaker 1: The last film I saw? I assume by the way,
Speaker 1: I know that we do this thing where I'm dead
Speaker 1: and then I've just come back to life. But I mean,
Speaker 1: theoretically I would have seen this film, Jim, like while
Speaker 1: I was dead. You know, like, well, it's an excellent point,
Speaker 1: and you've chosen to come back today rather than like
Speaker 1: a week ago, where perhaps you saw a film in
Speaker 1: this last week. So you've made this difficult. Oh I see, Okay,
Speaker 1: so this is actually my fault. This format floor is
Speaker 1: my fault, is it? Yeah? The format is the it's
Speaker 1: your choice too. You know you're you're a and you've
Speaker 1: lived a perfect life and have no regret. Now, you're right,
Speaker 1: I should have said a week guy, because the only
Speaker 1: thing I regret I did less than a week ago.
Speaker 1: You're absolutely what an arsenal I am. Anyway, Yeah, if
Speaker 1: I did come back a week ago, I could tell
Speaker 1: you that the last film Mussel was the Conjuring three.
Speaker 1: The Devil made me do it? How is it? I'm
Speaker 1: a fan of the Conjurins, but I've not seen the
Speaker 1: third round yet another Canjurin? How was it? But first
Speaker 1: of all, I had no idea what a massive franchise
Speaker 1: the Conjuring films are. They're like, up there, aren't they
Speaker 1: with like one of the biggest franchises ever, right, They're
Speaker 1: the marvel of horrors. Yeah? Absolutely, And I'm a Conjuring fan.
Speaker 1: I skipped the numb. But what I would say about
Speaker 1: the Country three. First of all, it's difficult for me
Speaker 1: to give you a fully unbiased opinion because it was
Speaker 1: my first time back in the cinema in like a
Speaker 1: year and a half maybe two years, and I was
Speaker 1: incredibly excited to just be a cinema. Did you go with?
Speaker 1: I went with Yasmin Acram. Yeah. Yeah, Well I hadn't
Speaker 1: seen her for ages. I got invited to go and
Speaker 1: watch Conjuring three, So I said to Yasmin, this feels
Speaker 1: like the perfect time for us to catch up. Let's
Speaker 1: have dinner and go watch Conjuring three. And during dinner,
Speaker 1: she revealed that she doesn't like horror films. But she
Speaker 1: wanted to give it a go. Well, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you watch horror films. And I
Speaker 1: think I talked about this after I died with you,
Speaker 1: But I'm really bad at watching horror films, as in,
Speaker 1: I'm bad for other people around me to be. You know,
Speaker 1: it's anti social because I react, I move, I put
Speaker 1: my hood up, all that kind of stuff. I find
Speaker 1: it very difficult to not sort of viscerally react to
Speaker 1: what I'm seeing. I find it terrifying, but I still
Speaker 1: enjoy it. So Yasmin was the same because she's not
Speaker 1: really a horror fans. So both of us were kind
Speaker 1: of like really squirming and stuff. And then you're sort
Speaker 1: of looking around the theater and other people are just
Speaker 1: sitting there, just sitting there, completely passive, and it feels like,
Speaker 1: to me, it feels like they've got a super powerful
Speaker 1: I don't understand how you can't be moving in your
Speaker 1: seat and stuff like. And look the Conjuring three if
Speaker 1: you wanted a quick review of it, the first third
Speaker 1: of it is excellent. Is incredible? Not incredible it's too
Speaker 1: strong word. It's excellent. Yeah, it's very derivative of the
Speaker 1: Exorcist is that there's an exorcism scene right at the beginning.
Speaker 1: That's just homage, would be underplaying it right in terms
Speaker 1: of what they're doing. But it's like great, and then
Speaker 1: it sort of turns into a very conventional kind of thing,
Speaker 1: but still enjoyable. It had brought my goodwill from being
Speaker 1: so sort of exciting. And also but I was in
Speaker 1: the cinema for the first dance. I was really excited,
Speaker 1: but I just kept doing all of the watching through
Speaker 1: my fingers and all that stuff, and you know, it
Speaker 1: does all of the it does all of the jump scares. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm a complete prick for falling for and enjoying it
Speaker 1: turns out, you know, like where you know that class
Speaker 1: that you're hearing noise, somebody approaches something, it's the cat.
Speaker 1: He goes, oh gosh, that was a nightmare. Then you
Speaker 1: wait three seconds and then the actual thing. I fall
Speaker 1: for that every fucking time, like every single time I
Speaker 1: find that unbelievable being in the cinema. Did you it's
Speaker 1: fucking great in it? Oh God, it's amazing, man, like amazing.
Speaker 1: I felt angry with myself for having taken it for
Speaker 1: granted for so long. You know, it's just fucking great.
Speaker 1: You and a load of strangers go and sit in
Speaker 1: a room in a room and watch a film being
Speaker 1: presented to you with amazing vision and sound, and you're
Speaker 1: eating with this and the group reacts, although they didn't
Speaker 1: in this case because they're sort of fucking hard or lunatics. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so good man. I loved and properly loved it.
Speaker 1: I like that. All right, Well, I'm glad you came
Speaker 1: back a week Romes. Who do you think should play
Speaker 1: you in the film of your Life? I think I
Speaker 1: would like to go for Taron Egerton. And let me
Speaker 1: tell you why. He's a very good actor. Well, that's
Speaker 1: exactly why I'm going for him. I've seen him play
Speaker 1: Eddie the Eagle Edwards. Yeah, I've seen him play Eggs
Speaker 1: in The Kinsman. I've seen him play Elton John in Rocketman. Yeah.
Speaker 1: He's a very versatile actor. Yeah. I think he's one
Speaker 1: of the world's most gifted actors. Like he's utterly commitcing
Speaker 1: and everything he's done. I would like to see if
Speaker 1: his career survives browning up, If if his performance could
Speaker 1: be that compelling that he could pull that off. That's
Speaker 1: a true test of an actor. I think, listen, Robert
Speaker 1: Downey Jr. So far is the only actor who has
Speaker 1: survived How did Robert Dwney Junior survive that? Listen, I've
Speaker 1: got I've not got a problem with her with how
Speaker 1: he survived that, because I get it. But like, it
Speaker 1: is an interesting one, isn't it. It is interesting. Every
Speaker 1: time I see a clip of it, I'm still like wow.
Speaker 1: Every time I literally go out loud to myself, wow
Speaker 1: every time. I'd like to think it's because people sort
Speaker 1: of see the joke and sort of get that it's
Speaker 1: not you know again, that it's coming from a slightly
Speaker 1: different place to how it might have done in the past.
Speaker 1: But what I honestly think it is is it's because
Speaker 1: people really like Iron Man. I think that he also
Speaker 1: got nominated for an Oscar for it. That's the thing,
Speaker 1: is you go. It wasn't just that people went, We're
Speaker 1: okay with this. It's that people went, this is the
Speaker 1: best thing that's ever happened. It's fascinating. Yeah, it's wow. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I think I think Taron Egerton could pull it off.
Speaker 1: I agree. You know, at the end of have you
Speaker 1: seen Rocket Man? Yeah, did you like it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: loved it. Yeah, the opening thirty seconds, well, the whole thing,
Speaker 1: but the opening thirty seconds when he leaves the counseling
Speaker 1: session to start singing, I'm still standing. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: watched that on YouTube. I reckon, well, I don't want
Speaker 1: to eager it probably about five or six times. But
Speaker 1: but the point I'm trying to make is I sort
Speaker 1: it out. I mean, it's so good, it's so so good.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love Taron Egerton. Yeah, him running
Speaker 1: up and acting out scenes with your mum, who I
Speaker 1: hope will be played by another white person, browning up
Speaker 1: and just seeing that I would seek that out on
Speaker 1: YouTube flame or six times at least. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: if we've been honest, the the the the obvious choice,
Speaker 1: and this would be the choice that that if you
Speaker 1: were to do a poll, people would suggest is is
Speaker 1: Himesh Patel. Because when Yesterday came out, the number of
Speaker 1: text messages I got from people going, I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: you and yesterday, and also when I started, when I
Speaker 1: started doing stand up, one of them the heckles I
Speaker 1: got more than any was Tamoios actually played at east Enders,
Speaker 1: So you know that would be the root one choice,
Speaker 1: but not route well, I bet one is not a
Speaker 1: root one choice is an excellent choice, exactly what I mean.
Speaker 1: But he's Terren's the the exit, the exciting choice in
Speaker 1: terms of there's a lot more stakes in Jeopardy and that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot more stakes for everybody involved in the
Speaker 1: May every film. Yeah, sort of when they're doing the
Speaker 1: press junk kitch, I mean, like, will you get an
Speaker 1: Oscar no more canceled? It's a real yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and when sort of let's let's have a think who
Speaker 1: this might be. When Nicole Kidman is defending herself for
Speaker 1: browning up to play sha'n't they? Yeah? Yeah, I wonder
Speaker 1: if she might like distance herself from the movie. She'll
Speaker 1: be so good at it though as well, Like have
Speaker 1: you ever seen destroy it like the things she did
Speaker 1: to her face with that makeup artist? And destroy it
Speaker 1: like her turning into your mum. I think she could
Speaker 1: do it. I think she's a good enough factor, and
Speaker 1: I actually think your mum would be would be happy
Speaker 1: with the portrayal. I think she would. I really think
Speaker 1: she would the exact I'm looking ford it. What's the
Speaker 1: you're a romantic man? Real mess, what's the most romantic
Speaker 1: film you've ever seen? Well, I talked about this film
Speaker 1: the last time I was on the podcast, and that
Speaker 1: was a turn of sunshine. But if you want me
Speaker 1: to go super romantic, it's probably do you know that film? No,
Speaker 1: I'm day you don't know. Huh be serious, He's be serious? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you do? You do a movie podcast? Yeah? So hair
Speaker 1: Is it's a Bollywood film. I watched it years ago.
Speaker 1: The reason I watched it is because at Crawley Cinema
Speaker 1: they have Bollywood's presentations of films because of well because
Speaker 1: of the ethnic makeup of the town. I guess you
Speaker 1: don't get it everywhere. And so my mom didn't have
Speaker 1: anyone to go watch the Hair with, and so I
Speaker 1: went to watch. I know it sounds like I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to say as many times as I can, but
Speaker 1: I'm not genuinely. I did go to watch with my
Speaker 1: with my mom. It was just me and my mom
Speaker 1: on a day watching and it stars it stars Sharott
Speaker 1: Khan who obviously and Cargill, and it's just like a
Speaker 1: very super romantic film. My recollection of it was that
Speaker 1: it was about three hours long and I can't even
Speaker 1: I can't even really remember what it was about. To
Speaker 1: be honest with you, I don't even know what the
Speaker 1: hair means, but I know that I think. Let me
Speaker 1: just look at it. I just need to look this
Speaker 1: up because I think it means something happens. That is
Speaker 1: an amazing tale for a film. What's your pitch? Something happens.
Speaker 1: It's something strange? Is that. I'm going to read you
Speaker 1: the lyrics in English of the title track, okay, and
Speaker 1: this will give you an idea of why it's such
Speaker 1: a romantic film. You came close, then you smiled. You
Speaker 1: don't even know what dreams you showed me. You came close,
Speaker 1: then you smiled. You don't even know. I shouldn't have
Speaker 1: read that to us. I thought it was going a
Speaker 1: different change. Now my heart remains awake, neither awake nor sleeps.
Speaker 1: What do I do? Oh, something strange is happening. You
Speaker 1: came close, then you This can't be the verse? Then
Speaker 1: you you don't even know what dreams you showed me.
Speaker 1: Now my heart remains neither awake nor sleeps. Now what
Speaker 1: do I do? Something strange is happening. So it's something strange.
Speaker 1: Something I mean, something strange is happening, which I assume
Speaker 1: is please. I can't sing the whole song, but I
Speaker 1: know that the chorus goes something like that. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful song. I remember it being a beautiful film. All
Speaker 1: Bollywood films very romantic, aren't they? Yeah? What's it called again?
Speaker 1: That isn't? That is really wonderful and I will be
Speaker 1: checking it out. Make sure listen, guys, if people listening
Speaker 1: to this, make sure you watch because he is one
Speaker 1: of my favorite romantic dates ahead with your mom. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll be able to say what what's the favorite film
Speaker 1: you watch with your mum? A sort of against you
Speaker 1: will I always say, because is the film is one
Speaker 1: of the only films I would say so on a
Speaker 1: list of two films and Jurassic Park? What's a romantic double? Um?
Speaker 1: It was? Actually that was actually a double bit was
Speaker 1: the same afternoon Jurassic Park back to back. What's the
Speaker 1: best film you ever saw that you never want to
Speaker 1: see again? The best film I ever saw that I
Speaker 1: never want to see again. It's Shure Shank Redemption. Go
Speaker 1: the fuck on. It's a great movie, right, yeah, great movie.
Speaker 1: It's very quotable. It's I enjoyed it very much. The
Speaker 1: performances are excellent, It's a brilliant film. But if if
Speaker 1: I was in any context I think if I was
Speaker 1: at home alone with my wife, if I was with
Speaker 1: some friends, if I was with a mate and we
Speaker 1: were a bit drunk, or we're trying and we wanted
Speaker 1: to fall asleep to something. If if any of those
Speaker 1: contexts somebody suggested, Sure Shank Redemption, I would say, why
Speaker 1: the fuck would you want to do that? Because the
Speaker 1: idea of enjoying sitting down to watch that again just
Speaker 1: fucking blaze my mind. I can't even begin to imagine
Speaker 1: a set of circumstances where I'd say, do you know what,
Speaker 1: I'd really hit the spot now, Sure Shank Redemption? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You know? And I love It's a great film, loved it.
Speaker 1: Do you want to watch again? No? Thank you. Do
Speaker 1: you want to talk about it? Yeah, I'll talk about
Speaker 1: it if that means that we don't have to sit
Speaker 1: and watch it again. Absolutely. My favorite part of that
Speaker 1: of your story, in the sort of average scenarios in
Speaker 1: which you watch a film, is how often it must
Speaker 1: be that you haven't made over and wants something to
Speaker 1: go to sleep. Do you know what, As I said,
Speaker 1: I just thought, this isn't a typical scenario that you'd
Speaker 1: find yourself in having that. Yeah, sorry, Rom, Sorry, Rom sudden.
Speaker 1: Do you know I listened to that. I listened to
Speaker 1: Brett Goldstein's film podcast, and I'd always been under the
Speaker 1: impression that Roma should forty three year old father of three,
Speaker 1: But I think you might be a twelve year old boy. Yeah, Sleep,
Speaker 1: it's very sleep Amos with his mate. Do you want
Speaker 1: to come round and we could just fall asleep watching
Speaker 1: the film together? Okay? Mate? Did I say that? I
Speaker 1: really love it? Do you know what? I'm glad you
Speaker 1: called it out, because, as I said it, I just thought, No,
Speaker 1: I'm just annoyed. You've never invited me for a movie. Sleep.
Speaker 1: I've never invited anybody over for It's never come up.
Speaker 1: It's never I want to come over, Brett, Brett. I
Speaker 1: live with my wife and children. How weird would it
Speaker 1: be that Brett's coming over tonight. He's coming over for dinner.
Speaker 1: He wants to have a few drinks. He's probably gonna
Speaker 1: stay over. Do you mind if you sleep on your
Speaker 1: own and I'm going to join Brett in the whatever
Speaker 1: room he's sleeping in. Yeah, two, sleeping bags in the
Speaker 1: DVD of the Yeah, oh my god, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1: I tell you what other film actually more recently than
Speaker 1: The Redemption. I don't know if I ever want to
Speaker 1: watch the Joker movie again. That's totally fair, that's not
Speaker 1: a fun film. I went to watch it with Jen Brister.
Speaker 1: We're on tour. Went to watch it with Jen Brister
Speaker 1: and Gratzia Graziobella, tour manager extraordinaire, And as we came out,
Speaker 1: I said, that was a real It was a really
Speaker 1: great film. But I feel truly terrible. I mean, I
Speaker 1: feel absolutely awful having watched it. Everything about it was great,
Speaker 1: but I definitely feel worse than I did before I
Speaker 1: went into the cinema. Yeah, it still stucks me how
Speaker 1: successful that film was when it's such a it's horrible.
Speaker 1: It's a horrible it's a really it's an awful, awful,
Speaker 1: depressing ms of yeah, so depressing. Yeah, what's the best
Speaker 1: action film you've ever seen? Well? I don't know how
Speaker 1: controversial this answer is, because it is completely humorless and
Speaker 1: sort of good action films do have a bit of
Speaker 1: humor and they don't know, But for me, it's probably
Speaker 1: The Raid it's in the Raid. Great, it's a great answer.
Speaker 1: It's a very very very good is it a great answer?
Speaker 1: It's a very good action film. You can't. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're right, there's zero laughs it, but in terms of action,
Speaker 1: you go, yeah, it's pretty fucking good. Yeah, because you know,
Speaker 1: I know that, like when I think about the films
Speaker 1: I'm watched growing up, you know, it'd be like Commando,
Speaker 1: you know, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know, would have like
Speaker 1: a bazooka on his shoulder and then he'd go, you
Speaker 1: look like you need rocket and then he'd like fire.
Speaker 1: And that's funny. Those that those things are funny. I
Speaker 1: mean the Raid doesn't have any of that. And also,
Speaker 1: but my other issue with The Raid? Does it killed
Speaker 1: Judge Dreads? Yeah, which only watched the other day, and
Speaker 1: it is very good, And that Judge Dread movie is great, right,
Speaker 1: It's so good. And if The Raid hadn't existed, that
Speaker 1: would have been the tearing off point for probably a
Speaker 1: really lack luster sequel for a really dragged out Dread universe.
Speaker 1: They've got where they've got, They've got to go down
Speaker 1: instead of up, because that's what they thought the twist
Speaker 1: would be for this. But yeah, I really I remember.
Speaker 1: The reason I say the raid is like because yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's totally humorous. There's nothing to be there's nothing
Speaker 1: about the dialogue. There's some really cool bits in it,
Speaker 1: like when the crime boss at the top of the
Speaker 1: building does the tannoy announcement going we've got some visitors.
Speaker 1: Do whatever you want to them, have fun or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's really fucking chilling, like you sort of thing, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Like you know, it's proper. I don't know
Speaker 1: how that, Like, I can't see a way that this
Speaker 1: ends anything other than all of them dying horribly mean
Speaker 1: and for most of them that that is the case.
Speaker 1: But like it's so good. There's and but the fucking
Speaker 1: action is just I've never seen action like it before.
Speaker 1: I've just never ever seen anything like it before I
Speaker 1: watched that film. I could not believe it. Man, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: How do you how do you write that? That's a
Speaker 1: great question. How do you write that? I don't know
Speaker 1: what that looks like on the page? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, because I know you've you've written those
Speaker 1: You're you're a great writer. When you write the stage
Speaker 1: directions away, yeah, you sort of go int cafe, there
Speaker 1: are two chairs. The raid must have been a three
Speaker 1: page script. That's the thing. I genuinely don't know if
Speaker 1: that if there's lots of examples of films and stuff
Speaker 1: where it will say like they make love and then
Speaker 1: that scene will be a five minute sex scene, or
Speaker 1: they fight, or some people do write he hits him,
Speaker 1: he ducks, he fucking that's he rolls under him, he
Speaker 1: jumps up a wall, he kicks him in the face,
Speaker 1: blood comes out of his eyeball. Yeah, for twenty minutes
Speaker 1: they kick seven shades of shit out of each other. Yeah. Great,
Speaker 1: I feel that's a very good answer. Romist, I can
Speaker 1: never tell. I can never tell with you. You're quite
Speaker 1: difficult blake to read. If I get if I gave
Speaker 1: you an answer you didn't agree with or you thought
Speaker 1: was a terrible answer, would you say, okay, next question? Wow,
Speaker 1: So you wouldn't you wouldn't, wouldn't disguise it at all?
Speaker 1: Really robes regulated of all the films. If you had to,
Speaker 1: which film do you think you could have made? And why?
Speaker 1: I e. What film represents the kind of film you
Speaker 1: think you'd make if you were making a film for me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: for you, I would say planes, trains and automobiles. Now
Speaker 1: before I continue with that, I don't think I could have.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could have made it to that standard.
Speaker 1: Steve Martin's character in that film is everything I think
Speaker 1: my comedy fails to do. You know that, you That's
Speaker 1: what I mean, isn't it? Yeah, trying to be but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's trying to be but can't be. I mean that
Speaker 1: film that that film is so funny, obviously, but Steve
Speaker 1: Martin's kind of reactions to John Candy are note perfect,
Speaker 1: like throughout and the journey from him coming on side.
Speaker 1: It's a sort of showing John Candy's character a bit
Speaker 1: of empathy. It's so beautifully done. You don't ever feel
Speaker 1: like he'd been maneuvered through that John Candy's journeys, I
Speaker 1: mean John Candy, you know, we can talk for ages
Speaker 1: about how great he was, but just they're they're both amazing.
Speaker 1: But Steve Martin, in particular his character in that film,
Speaker 1: I really I just I just find it incredible. And
Speaker 1: I watched du Day and Dude Date. It's a really
Speaker 1: good film. It's it's a similar, you know, similar thing.
Speaker 1: The difference with Jude Day I thought, I thought, I
Speaker 1: think Zach Galiphernakis is amazing, and Robert Danny June is
Speaker 1: obviously very funny. But Robert Daniel Jr. You feel like
Speaker 1: he's been too horrible to Zach Galliphernakis in a way
Speaker 1: that you never feel with planes trains, you know, like
Speaker 1: planes trains, like Steve Martin is horrible to him. He
Speaker 1: does some horrible things to John Candy, but you always
Speaker 1: kind of buy it, do you mean, you sort of
Speaker 1: go it's a bit out of order, But I get
Speaker 1: how you've got to this point, you know, like whereas
Speaker 1: with Robert Danny June as a couple of there's a
Speaker 1: few things he does you just think you're you're an
Speaker 1: ursul man. I mean, that's like really shitty. And so
Speaker 1: then it's slightly for me personally, it's slightly undermined the
Speaker 1: redemption at the end of that. I mean, this is
Speaker 1: such a good answer and actually is really revealing and interesting.
Speaker 1: And now I realize that all your TV shows, your
Speaker 1: mum is John Candy, and you're going on journeys with
Speaker 1: the sort of sort of half against your will and
Speaker 1: half empathetic and sort of yeah, maybe you know, there's
Speaker 1: two options here. Either the reason I like Steve Martin's
Speaker 1: performance in that so much is because it just connects
Speaker 1: to my soul in some way, or everything I do
Speaker 1: is completely derivative of that performance. And actually I haven't
Speaker 1: even original thoughts since I've started doing comedy. It's one
Speaker 1: of those two. Either it's either yeah, and whichever one
Speaker 1: of those you think it is, you're correct. I'm now
Speaker 1: thinking Yeah, I guess we can't because sadly he's no
Speaker 1: longer with us. But if Nicole Kidman doesn't want to
Speaker 1: play your mum, we could have had John Candy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great shot, um. I think really it's genuinely
Speaker 1: fair play. All Jack's aside, it's a very very interesting,
Speaker 1: revealing answer. I appreciate it. Ten points and ten points
Speaker 1: for that. And I wasn't going to score this one.
Speaker 1: But it's weird that you're you're brought scoring into the
Speaker 1: sixth question of this Yeah, of the second podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's weird that you're starting to actually rack up a
Speaker 1: score now. And what's the film you have pretended to
Speaker 1: like to impress people? Thin Red Line? I love Thin
Speaker 1: Red Line, but yes, there's a level of you you
Speaker 1: have to not when you talk about thinne, you have
Speaker 1: to not complain about the fact that it was three
Speaker 1: and a half hours. So I went to watch Thin
Speaker 1: Red Line it with some friends, and I sat in
Speaker 1: the film, and I'm just going to be absolutely honest
Speaker 1: with you. Thin Red Line is an objectively, very well made,
Speaker 1: great film and all of that, and I don't want
Speaker 1: don't at me or anything like that. But I sat
Speaker 1: there and all I could think of is this film
Speaker 1: is constant reminded that life is finite. I can't believe
Speaker 1: I'm fucking watching this. I can't believe, with what we
Speaker 1: know about existence, I'm spending three and a half hours
Speaker 1: watching this. I am so fucking bored, like so bored,
Speaker 1: like like this is that bored I was. I don't
Speaker 1: think it mattered which I was facing in that theater
Speaker 1: in terms of my level of interest of what was
Speaker 1: going on. I was so completely bored by that film.
Speaker 1: And I didn't say anything because I'm not I'm not,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to ruin the film for
Speaker 1: other people. So I sat there with my friends, expecting
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with them about how we regretted
Speaker 1: going to watch Thin Red Line. We should never let
Speaker 1: the person who chose to watch that film ever choose
Speaker 1: a film ever again. And then I come outside of
Speaker 1: the cinema everybody else loved it. Oh my god, It's
Speaker 1: so good, doesn't it. And you have to sort of listen.
Speaker 1: It pays, it pays your attention, you know, you say,
Speaker 1: you stay with it, you give it focus, and it
Speaker 1: rewards you. And I'm just like, not only do I
Speaker 1: disagree with you, it makes me look like a fucking
Speaker 1: idiot if I do disagree with you now, so now
Speaker 1: I have to go yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: because like I'm so sick of films that have a
Speaker 1: thing happen every few minutes to just cry and keep you,
Speaker 1: keep you in. You know, I prefer it when a
Speaker 1: film is actually moving slower than my normal life. That's
Speaker 1: I love that. So yeah, absolutely great, Yeah, totally. What's
Speaker 1: funny is your your your what you took from the
Speaker 1: film that life is finite is genuinely also the message
Speaker 1: of the film. You really got it, you really got it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I hated that fucking evening. Honestly, I
Speaker 1: really hated it so bad. And do you know what
Speaker 1: the thing is, By the way, before people sort of
Speaker 1: I don't know how how vocal or vociferous your listeners
Speaker 1: are community. It's pretty yeah, small, but very passionate, aren't they.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying it's a bad film, and
Speaker 1: I'm saying the fault is with me, guys, Okay, the
Speaker 1: fault is with me. I'm describing to the experience I
Speaker 1: had and what I felt when I sat and watched
Speaker 1: that film was anger. Not about the conflict, not about
Speaker 1: you know, the things that people had to go, not
Speaker 1: about war and the futility of it, about the fact
Speaker 1: I was spending the evening in the cinema watching it. Okay,
Speaker 1: what film have you never seen that you think it's mad?
Speaker 1: You've never seen it. I've never seen Train Spotting. That
Speaker 1: is mad. What's the film you love that you don't
Speaker 1: expect anyone else? Is that a terrible answer? No, that's
Speaker 1: a great answer, completely mad. What's the film you love?
Speaker 1: Do you do you normally open a discussion off the
Speaker 1: back of that? No, okay, good, move on. It's just
Speaker 1: the way that you respond to that was remarkably like
Speaker 1: when I asked you what you do if you didn't
Speaker 1: like an answer, that's all I would say. It's almost identical.
Speaker 1: So in terms of my kind of self esteem. Oh no,
Speaker 1: it's a really good answer. Is it's completely mad? How
Speaker 1: could it be a good answer because it's a perfect
Speaker 1: answer because everyone's seen Trainspotting and it's like seminal and
Speaker 1: you haven't seen it. That's mad. You've answered the question perfectly.
Speaker 1: What's the film you love that you don't expect anyone
Speaker 1: else to? Like? Transformers? A movie? The original animated? Oh?
Speaker 1: The good one? Good answer? Good one? Is that good?
Speaker 1: I think that's good. I like the animated one, and
Speaker 1: I hold my hands up. I've done stand up about this.
Speaker 1: I saw the new Transformers and I don't think I'm thick,
Speaker 1: but I genuinely did not understand it, and at the
Speaker 1: end felt like I'd watched an art film that was
Speaker 1: beyond me. I was like, I don't know what the
Speaker 1: fuck was going on. Let me so the Transformers, the
Speaker 1: Michael Bay Transformers movies, right, of all of the films,
Speaker 1: and I've watched all of them, right, I understood the
Speaker 1: first twenty minutes of the first one, right, and after
Speaker 1: that it's completely fucking impenetrable. And do you know what else?
Speaker 1: It's impenetrable. What the fuck is going on when they're fighting.
Speaker 1: I have got no idea who's hitting who. I've got
Speaker 1: no idea who's winning. I've got no idea which characters
Speaker 1: involved in the fight. I don't understand any of the
Speaker 1: dialogue of any of the robots, Like it's Mencil is
Speaker 1: absolutely mental. It's like I honestly believe that Michael Bay said, honestly,
Speaker 1: they're a private meeting, and he said, I want to
Speaker 1: take the biggest shit I can on people's childhoods, like
Speaker 1: the biggest shit, and I want it to make money,
Speaker 1: and you to keep asking me to make sequels. And
Speaker 1: they've gone, Michael Bay, we can make that happen for
Speaker 1: you anything. They are terrible I have talked about I
Speaker 1: don't think I've took about on the podcast. Maybe I
Speaker 1: have apologies if I have. But the end of Transformers,
Speaker 1: if I followed it correctly, the film ends with Shy
Speaker 1: Libeuf and Megan Fox having sex on top of his car.
Speaker 1: But his car is his mate. His car is a
Speaker 1: Transformer that he talks to and his friends with, and
Speaker 1: he's sat there like, you're having sex on top of me.
Speaker 1: Why do you not remember? I can talk and see
Speaker 1: and meet Yeah, I can't have sex if a dog
Speaker 1: is in the building. Right, you're on top of your friend. Right.
Speaker 1: I come around for a sleepover to watch to watch
Speaker 1: the Bodywood with you, and I fall asleep and I
Speaker 1: wake up and you've brought Lisa to have sex on
Speaker 1: top of my back. Yeah, that's the end of Transformer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so, it's so. And also Shilah birth on some
Speaker 1: on something for I Actually I'm a big fan of
Speaker 1: Shilah Berth. But they need to they need to address
Speaker 1: they need to address what what episode he's supposed to
Speaker 1: be going through during that film. I assume there is
Speaker 1: some longer version of that where it's like a nightclub
Speaker 1: scene and he takes some NDMA or something and he
Speaker 1: never comes down from it. And that's why he is
Speaker 1: how he is, because otherwise there's no explanation for any
Speaker 1: of what happens there. The redesigns and all the robots
Speaker 1: are awful. I understand, Listen, I understand that you can't
Speaker 1: stick to the sort. To stick like religiously to the
Speaker 1: source material would be crazy. I get that, but you
Speaker 1: know they all look so crazy. You know, there's a
Speaker 1: bit I don't know if it's in the first one
Speaker 1: or the second one. But they've got like devas data
Speaker 1: in it, where all the constructortions like unite to form
Speaker 1: this big robot and it's got like two wrecking balls
Speaker 1: as a bull bag. Why why, Yeah, it's so mad.
Speaker 1: So that so that transformer has a vulnerability, I guess, so,
Speaker 1: I guess. So it's there's so much wrong with it
Speaker 1: that the animated film, which I loved at the time,
Speaker 1: and I would happily sit and watch now, but would
Speaker 1: never ask anybody, even at a sleepover. I wouldn't suggest it.
Speaker 1: But it was actually really cynically, you know that the
Speaker 1: origins of it so cynical and horrible that they just
Speaker 1: wanted to make more toys. They wanted to make a
Speaker 1: new generation of toys. So they thought, let's kill Ratchet,
Speaker 1: Let's kill I and Hide. You know, Iron Hide gets
Speaker 1: smoked within the first Iron Hide, like a beloved member
Speaker 1: of the autobots get smoked within three minutes of the
Speaker 1: opening of the film. Right, nothing optimist Prime does, Like
Speaker 1: they just kill everyone because I want to bring out
Speaker 1: a new range of toys, And they had no idea
Speaker 1: about the psychological effects that was going to have upon
Speaker 1: the children. Of the world because people weren't ready to
Speaker 1: see Optimus Prime die. They weren't ready to see Ultra
Speaker 1: Magnus step up like some sort of yeah, the Ultra
Speaker 1: Magnus thing. Do you know, Ultrama, Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about? Ultra Magnus, Yeah, the ut Magnus. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: thank you for that. So Ultra Magnus, right, Optimus Prime.
Speaker 1: Optimus Prime is a truck, Okay, a red truck turns
Speaker 1: into a robot. Ultra Magnus is a trailer, right, turns
Speaker 1: into a trailer, and the truck is like an Optimus Prime.
Speaker 1: But it's like his little assistant. What the fuck is
Speaker 1: going on at the time. At the time, as a kid,
Speaker 1: I thought this is mental. I didn't get it at all.
Speaker 1: And then hot Roddy became Rodimus Prime, which is like
Speaker 1: something you'd fucking get on a pawn hub. Surch Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's at yeah anyway, and he's fishing at the beginning
Speaker 1: of it's weird hot rods fish anyway. There's lots I
Speaker 1: could talk to you about it, lies, but you know,
Speaker 1: well that's why we're here. Do you remember Blaster Going,
Speaker 1: which was blaster so sound wave? Who I thought was
Speaker 1: like the coolest of the Decepticons was a tape cassette player.
Speaker 1: And then he opened his chest and then one of
Speaker 1: them come out and turn into a hawk, and another
Speaker 1: one had come out and turned into Rumble, and he
Speaker 1: could create earthquakes and stuff. Do you remember that all
Speaker 1: that sound Wave didn't talk with any emotion, said like
Speaker 1: sound Weave present, I can't do the robotic voice, but
Speaker 1: he would just talk with no emotion at all. And
Speaker 1: then they decided that the autobots should have like their
Speaker 1: own version and it was Blaster and he was just
Speaker 1: like this really cocky black guy. For some reason, is
Speaker 1: that Optimus primed? Do you read me? We were under
Speaker 1: attack from the Decepticons. We don't know how much load
Speaker 1: we going to hold out. It's like that. That was.
Speaker 1: It was like the fucking Polar Opposite. It was so weird,
Speaker 1: such a such a such a number of weird decisions.
Speaker 1: But I love that film. It's great Unicron on the
Speaker 1: big planet that transforms into a robot that awesome. Wells, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Leonard Nimoy played Galbatron. Yeah, there's so many good so many,
Speaker 1: so many good things. But lovely answer and I'm going
Speaker 1: to give you twelve points. B. What's the film you
Speaker 1: would show A lover as a test to see if
Speaker 1: you should be together? Okay? Can I just say I
Speaker 1: sort of fundamentally oppose this question, right? You can when
Speaker 1: when when people say things like some I showed her
Speaker 1: fifth I'm sorry, but if you don't like that film,
Speaker 1: we just can't be in a couple. What how many
Speaker 1: options have you got? Let me take the fucking arrogance
Speaker 1: of it. I found I find incredible. What I mean like,
Speaker 1: let you know how much I love hip hop? Lisa
Speaker 1: hates hip hop? And do you know why? Because I've
Speaker 1: got no choices? Do you I mean, if I if I,
Speaker 1: what do I do go on the search for someone
Speaker 1: who loves hip hop because she's not quite perfect enough
Speaker 1: for me? Who the fuck do I think I am? Well?
Speaker 1: You've been you know if I can say, maybe you're grieving,
Speaker 1: but you seem to have lost a lot of weight. However, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I was forced to show my show A Lover
Speaker 1: as a film as a test to see if we
Speaker 1: should be together, it would be trading places. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: Now there's a number of reasons for this one. I
Speaker 1: think it's a very funny film. Okay, it's a great movie,
Speaker 1: but there are a number of things that I would
Speaker 1: sort of look to to see, you know, if you
Speaker 1: if you if we're seeing this as like an assessment
Speaker 1: of a lover. Okay, now trading places as you know,
Speaker 1: great film, Eddie Murphy Randolph, the brothers decide whether they're
Speaker 1: gonna they're going to switch these two guys, Dan Accord
Speaker 1: and any murh for to see if if circumstance determines
Speaker 1: your outcomes right, rather than you know what you're made of?
Speaker 1: I to this day still do not understand the ending
Speaker 1: of that film. I've watched that film easily a hundred times.
Speaker 1: I do not fucking know what them getting that briefcase
Speaker 1: with the orange juice predictions and then buying and selling
Speaker 1: it in the way I don't know why that makes
Speaker 1: them really rich and makes everybody else really I've I've got,
Speaker 1: I've what I've read up on it. I've watched it
Speaker 1: back with a view to only focusing on that ending
Speaker 1: bit to see if I get it. I still don't
Speaker 1: understand it, and genuine if somebody can message me telling
Speaker 1: me what the fuck that ending means. I've talked about
Speaker 1: it to so many people. Yeah, I don't understand. I
Speaker 1: don't get it. I don't get how they end up
Speaker 1: on that island at the end because of the money
Speaker 1: they've made from screaming cells or something. Right, Yeah, the
Speaker 1: oj the orange crop isn't what they thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be. And now Eddie Murphy's a millionaire. If
Speaker 1: somebody can join the dot fill in the blanks there,
Speaker 1: your lover. You want them to enjoy the film and
Speaker 1: bby able to explain it to you, Well, that's the
Speaker 1: first thing. So if they understand the ending to that film,
Speaker 1: that to me, yeah, that's a level of intelligence and
Speaker 1: perception that I don't I certainly don't have, and neither
Speaker 1: does anyone have asked us about. The other test would
Speaker 1: be the hugely unacceptably racist train scene where Eddie Murphy
Speaker 1: what Eddie, it's so racist to what Eddie Murphy does
Speaker 1: is racist, Right, that's how racist that section of the
Speaker 1: movie is where he plays such a stereotypically African character.
Speaker 1: It's fucking insane, it's so racist. And then as if
Speaker 1: to say, oh, hey, Eddie, you know that we don't
Speaker 1: like black people being the most racist people in films
Speaker 1: in Hollywood. Dan Akroyd steps in as there. We talked
Speaker 1: about Robert Danny Julia earlier. Yeah, Dan Akroyd has not
Speaker 1: been canceled for this as far as I know, right, No, no, No,
Speaker 1: he's fine. He's doing enough. Menu he appears in the Yes,
Speaker 1: exactly right. He turns up on the train as a raster.
Speaker 1: Now you can talk about it's a sign of the
Speaker 1: times or whatever. I didn't see that happening anywhere else
Speaker 1: in any movies at that time. So hang on, it's
Speaker 1: really complicated. So your love it. I'm your lover in
Speaker 1: this and I've come around. You go, things are going well.
Speaker 1: I'd like you to watch this film just as a
Speaker 1: sort of test. But I'm thinking, right, but I would.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't announce it as a test. I
Speaker 1: would just put the I really like this film. Do
Speaker 1: you fancy watching Trading Places? So? So I the test
Speaker 1: is quite a complicated test. And I like it because
Speaker 1: it really reveals you're basically saying, am I going to
Speaker 1: sit through this film? And because I like you, just go.
Speaker 1: I loved it. It It was so funny. But what you're
Speaker 1: actually your perfect result is that I go, I gotta
Speaker 1: be honest from this. I enjoyed lots of that film. However,
Speaker 1: I don't understand the ending on the train was incredibly racist,
Speaker 1: and I don't and by it, I cannot believe Dan
Speaker 1: a quote has been canceled and I can't explain to
Speaker 1: you the ending. But other than that, yeah, I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. Any maths very funny. If I say those things,
Speaker 1: you're sort of boiling it down to a sort of
Speaker 1: a post movie monologue. What I would say. What I
Speaker 1: would say is like during the racist bit, like you know,
Speaker 1: I might you want me to go, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: so something like that, like I want to enjoy this,
Speaker 1: but this is making me feel a bit a bit
Speaker 1: fun key, something like that, just something mean, or or
Speaker 1: you might go, do you know what? This is a
Speaker 1: bit off key, but it was of the time and
Speaker 1: so or you know, we'll have to ride this out.
Speaker 1: But I'm not massively keen on it. Okay, So how
Speaker 1: about this, right, I say all the things. I even
Speaker 1: explain the ending to you and I go, it's about
Speaker 1: beans or something. I explain it in a way that
Speaker 1: makes you think I know what it's about. Right, So
Speaker 1: then you're like, this person is so intelligent, so wonderful.
Speaker 1: This person gets me and is better than me. Right,
Speaker 1: we start kissing, we start making lab we're getting that
Speaker 1: sleeping back I brought over. Then I go, oh, before
Speaker 1: we lay down to sleep, can we put on my film?
Speaker 1: I want to show you The Thin Red Line. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, there is a part of me that
Speaker 1: if somebody of identify the racists have been trading places
Speaker 1: and was able to explain the ending, I'd probably split
Speaker 1: up with them because they're too good for me. But
Speaker 1: let's let's let's just assume for the purpose of this,
Speaker 1: that I've got some sort of self esteem and I
Speaker 1: decided to stay with you. Yeah, we make love and
Speaker 1: you put on Thin Red Line. I think I would
Speaker 1: pretend that Yeah again, Look, I did faithful evening in
Speaker 1: this cinema. You'd stick with that. I don't know the idea,
Speaker 1: the idea of watching that again, I don't know. Man,
Speaker 1: I say to you as I put it on, I go,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen this film, but like
Speaker 1: you just can't not like it because it really rewards you.
Speaker 1: This film, it gives back what you put in. And
Speaker 1: that's why I love it, And that's how I think
Speaker 1: relationships should be Oh god, I don't even know. And
Speaker 1: by the way, when we made that, it was fucking great. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this is also this is this is also post ejaculations.
Speaker 1: I'm not even got an erection keeping me through this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're in that sort of blank, void paste orgasm. You
Speaker 1: suddenly sort of don't understand what anything means anymore anyway. God,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe in that maybe in that context, I'd
Speaker 1: enjoy the thin red line. I really like it. And
Speaker 1: then I'd say to a friend, I'd say it to
Speaker 1: a friend. You know what do you know I told
Speaker 1: you about that time went to watch cinema Actually fucking
Speaker 1: I watched that down and watched it again, and I
Speaker 1: actually think I liked thinner red line. And then you
Speaker 1: just and then my mate would go, fucking Brett's really
Speaker 1: got you where he wants you, doesn't I Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's pathetic. You are whipped. Do you know how much
Speaker 1: you've changed to be with Brett? You're You're pathetic man.
Speaker 1: We actually a few of us have been talking about this.
Speaker 1: Is it true that you showed him in places and
Speaker 1: you told him that you understood it in a way
Speaker 1: that none of your friends do. Is that true, you
Speaker 1: are dick whipped. You are absolutely dick whipped pathetic. Oh
Speaker 1: what your review of all films know is? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: great if you've just come pathetic. Oh god, Rome, If
Speaker 1: you could show a child one film, what would it be.
Speaker 1: So I've got a specific film and a specific child
Speaker 1: for this perfect I would like to show my second
Speaker 1: son the film Coco. Now let me explain why. So
Speaker 1: Coco is an amazing film, Okay, And I think I
Speaker 1: think that what's great about that film is it teaches
Speaker 1: you about death and remembering people and what that means.
Speaker 1: And I think that's such a valuable lesson to children.
Speaker 1: Was a valuable lesson to anyone, but in particular children stuff.
Speaker 1: It's part of the reason why they tell you to
Speaker 1: get a pet, because it's like training for when you
Speaker 1: die for your kids. I mean, I mean, yeah, does
Speaker 1: that makes sense? Yeah? So yeah, it would be Coco
Speaker 1: because I think it's it's an amazing film. That song
Speaker 1: remember me, Pixar is so good at choosing music that
Speaker 1: the refrain from which takes you straight back to the
Speaker 1: film and where you were when you watch that film.
Speaker 1: It's incredible. Up. I mean, like the Rata two, the
Speaker 1: piano thing from Rat, whatever the song is from Rat,
Speaker 1: all of that Coco that remembered me. My wife Lisa
Speaker 1: cannot hear that song without starting to cry. It's like
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Anyway. The reason I say a specific child
Speaker 1: is because when that film came out, we were in
Speaker 1: l A doing the one series special production of Just
Speaker 1: Another Immigrant one series both because it was a completely
Speaker 1: finite and complete story and the other reason is because
Speaker 1: Shaytime didn't want anymore. We we we were going to
Speaker 1: the cinema quite a bit with the kids, and we
Speaker 1: went to we wanted to go and watch Coco, and
Speaker 1: my second son, Alex said to me, I don't want
Speaker 1: to go to watch Coco. At the time, may so
Speaker 1: what was that four years ago? So he would have
Speaker 1: been five, right, Okay, So he said I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch Coco. And I said to I'm really sorry,
Speaker 1: but that is not an option because there's nobody to
Speaker 1: look after you at home, and you're too young to
Speaker 1: be left at home on your own, so you are
Speaker 1: going to have to come and sit come to the
Speaker 1: cinema with us. And he said, well, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to watch the film. And I said, well, that is
Speaker 1: your prerogative, right, I said, but you are coming to
Speaker 1: the cinema with us. I'm not kidding you. And this
Speaker 1: is something he did that I've got so much respect
Speaker 1: for him for. Right. He sat with his back towards
Speaker 1: the screen for the entirety of the film. I mean,
Speaker 1: at first, I thought this is going to last a
Speaker 1: few minutes, so sitting come and turn around and stop
Speaker 1: messing about. So I don't want to watch this film,
Speaker 1: And in a single child protest, he sat and faced
Speaker 1: away from the screen for the entire duration. And I
Speaker 1: got to tell you, man, he became one of my heroes.
Speaker 1: For that to have to have that level of conviction
Speaker 1: just amazing. The reason I want him to see that
Speaker 1: film is he missed a great film to make a point,
Speaker 1: he missed an incredible film. Yeah, and so I want
Speaker 1: him to I'd love to show that. So when you
Speaker 1: say if you could, that suggests a dream scenario. If
Speaker 1: I could show a child one film, I live with
Speaker 1: the kid that I'm talking about, and Coco is easily accessible.
Speaker 1: I mean, we've got Disney plus, so I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I like, is going to be a struggle if he remembers,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean, like, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to set up two screens, one one in front of
Speaker 1: him and one behind him. One to this. You basically
Speaker 1: got to have screens, you know, like when you do
Speaker 1: Rangon Nation, You've got all those screens. I'd say, set
Speaker 1: them up three hundred and sixty degrees so that whatever
Speaker 1: position he takes, he's gonna have to fucking see that film.
Speaker 1: The only way for him to avoid it is to
Speaker 1: keep his eyes shut for an hour or forty. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's what it's going to have to be.
Speaker 1: I really respect that. Okay, good luck to him. But
Speaker 1: what yeah, I get what's what's annoying about it is
Speaker 1: you're going to have to get a pet. If he
Speaker 1: doesn't see Coca, You're gonna have to get him a
Speaker 1: fucking pet to teach him about death. Well, we are,
Speaker 1: we are getting a dog, actually right. That's because he
Speaker 1: hasn't seen Coco. I get it. You can save a
Speaker 1: lot of time. Have you got a pet? No, I
Speaker 1: don't want to learn about death. No, But I mean,
Speaker 1: have you got a pet for the other reasons? That's
Speaker 1: the only reason is there's other reasons, like stroking it.
Speaker 1: I don't know and having something that loves you on conditionally. Yeah. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't have a pet. I like it, you know,
Speaker 1: I like him when I see him knocking about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I've seen Coco, so I get it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What is the film that made you the most and comfortable?
Speaker 1: Have you seen Knock Knock? The Keanu reeves two women
Speaker 1: to arrive at his door, have sex with him, and
Speaker 1: then destroy his life? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, what did you
Speaker 1: think of that film? Do you know what? Truthfully, I
Speaker 1: haven't seen it. I've seen I know, I've seen lots
Speaker 1: of bits of it, and I thought this film, I
Speaker 1: feel like I get it without seeing it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: do get it, You do get it. You get it
Speaker 1: as much as I get it. My my, the reason
Speaker 1: it made me feel uncomfortable is not the not the threesome.
Speaker 1: So basically, he takes these women in, they've their cars
Speaker 1: broken down or something, and then they put it on
Speaker 1: him big time, and then he has sex with them
Speaker 1: in the shower. I believe ye, and Romish says as
Speaker 1: if he's vague about those details of it. Um, and
Speaker 1: then they I think, I think I think you see
Speaker 1: I think you see nipples. Seventeen times in that scene,
Speaker 1: I can't but I couldn't tell you for sure. But
Speaker 1: then they decide that because he's done that he is
Speaker 1: deserving of any punishment, that they can meet out and
Speaker 1: meet around and whatever you whatever the word is, and
Speaker 1: so yeah, and then basically they destroy his life. The
Speaker 1: reason it made me feel uncomfortable, it's just because he
Speaker 1: was such a nice bloke, you know, He's seemed like
Speaker 1: such a nice family man, and then he made this
Speaker 1: error and then he was an asshole. And I just thought,
Speaker 1: it's a really thin line between being a good bloke
Speaker 1: and being a complete a nun of fucking prick, isn't it.
Speaker 1: And I think, listen, I'm not suggesting I'm going to
Speaker 1: have a there's never going to be a threesome on
Speaker 1: the cards for me. But I now feel like, after
Speaker 1: I watched that film for a little while, I sort
Speaker 1: of thought I managed to convince myself I'm just waiting
Speaker 1: for the thing that tips me over into being an asshole,
Speaker 1: and then it'll be you know, well it's yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you won't know until two women in wet
Speaker 1: T shirts show up at your door saying the car's
Speaker 1: breaking down and start trying to kiss you. It's from
Speaker 1: what I've seen of the scene that that's the bit
Speaker 1: that I'm sort of like. The women need ten as
Speaker 1: seem like something's up, doesn't seem natural to move from
Speaker 1: our car's breing down? Can we have sex? I think
Speaker 1: even if it happened I was a single man, two
Speaker 1: women helping my door said cars down, shall we have sex?
Speaker 1: I think I'd have a few questions before. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I genuinely say. If two women turned up
Speaker 1: and they said, our car's broken down, we need someone
Speaker 1: to stay, I'd say to them, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I'm a married man. I'm with a
Speaker 1: woman who's far too good for me. I love my children.
Speaker 1: I just cannot afford to roll the dice on this situation.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to make a phone go from here
Speaker 1: while you sit in the car. Yeah, I'll get you
Speaker 1: an uber to wherever you need to go. I'll even
Speaker 1: pay for the car to be recovered. But I absolutely
Speaker 1: cannot let you. And in fact, what I would say is,
Speaker 1: if you stay on the driveway for any longer, I
Speaker 1: will call the police and tell me your trespassing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd just be like, listen, you seem very nice. You're
Speaker 1: both you know, I understand you. I don't quite understand
Speaker 1: how the solution is us having sex. Yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying it isn't, but I feel like there's probably a
Speaker 1: couple of other options before we get to that, and
Speaker 1: maybe we should explore them. But he gets he gets
Speaker 1: so close to not having sex with them right, like
Speaker 1: it's all and it's right at the last minute, he
Speaker 1: just sort of does it and then that's it. It's
Speaker 1: all over for him. It's all over for him. M Yeah. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that film I felt uncomfortable just because it made me
Speaker 1: ask some serious questions about sort of breakdown insticated three
Speaker 1: Simpson how I'd react to them, Rob Rangonathan, you are
Speaker 1: an absolute bloody delight. Let's call it. Give the man
Speaker 1: a bafter for this Podcasterlane. Now at the end of it,
Speaker 1: I say this, I'd let you live. I've enjoyed this
Speaker 1: so much. I'm going to let you live. However, you
Speaker 1: might die any day, that's up to me. I won't
Speaker 1: tell you when, but it could happen. So just in case,
Speaker 1: in your will, you can leave one disc one DVD
Speaker 1: for your family. Whoever, what DVD are you leaving. I
Speaker 1: am leaving a little DVD I like to call because
Speaker 1: it's long, it's romantic. It reminds me of the time
Speaker 1: when I went in an inappropriate date with my mum.
Speaker 1: That will be a dressing back now all seriously, probably
Speaker 1: it'd probably be playing trains because I really love it.
Speaker 1: And so Ye, Romes, I bloody love you love. Is
Speaker 1: there anything you would like to tell people to look
Speaker 1: for listen to watch out for coming up? No, great,
Speaker 1: my advice, turn on your Telly. It'll be there. It'll
Speaker 1: be there in you won't be mad about it. It's
Speaker 1: honestly a gift Romes, piece of love. Love you, Brett,
Speaker 1: love you, Happy birthday, Love you, Thank you. So that
Speaker 1: was episode five, and over to Patreon dot com forward
Speaker 1: slash Brett Goldsteam for the extra twenty five minutes of
Speaker 1: chat with Romise Secrets. There's a video all sorts get
Speaker 1: to Apple Podcasts. Give us a five star writing, but
Speaker 1: don't write about the show, right about the film that
Speaker 1: means the most of you and why I do read them.
Speaker 1: I really like it. It helps numbers and Marian loves
Speaker 1: you for it. Thank you for listening everyone. I hope
Speaker 1: you're all well. Thanks so much to Romes for doing
Speaker 1: the show, Thanks to Scroobious pipping the distraction pieces of Network.
Speaker 1: Thanks to Buddy Peace for producing it, Thanks to ACAS
Speaker 1: for hosting it. Thanks to Adam Richardson for the graphics
Speaker 1: at least leading for the photography. Come and join me
Speaker 1: next week for another banger. So that is it for now.
Speaker 1: I hope you're all well, have a lovely week, and
Speaker 1: please be excellent. We tell it.