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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.

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Speaker 1: This I am your guest host, Chris Alvarado. Yes, back

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Speaker 1: Visa Varondo, and I'm sitting in for Kevin Collic today. Now,

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Speaker 1: before we jump in, I'd like to remind you that

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Speaker 1: the Alchemy crew will be doing a live show in

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Speaker 1: San Francisco on Sunday, January nine as part of the

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Speaker 1: San Francisco Sketch Fest. So if you are in the

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Speaker 1: Bay area are willing to travel to the Bay Area,

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Speaker 1: please check out s F Sketch Fest dot com for

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Speaker 1: information and tickets. We would love to see you there. Now,

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Speaker 1: let's meet our alchemists today in no particular order. Everybody,

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Speaker 1: say hello to James Hainey. James, how are you today, Bud?

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Speaker 1: I'm doing good, good good, All right. Here's my question here,

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Speaker 1: Here's here's what I want from you. Okay, I want

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Speaker 1: you to tell me one or two qualities that you

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Speaker 1: appreciate about a tool. About a tool yep, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: A tool is a giving performer. He and these are

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Speaker 1: qualities I like on stage. He's a giving performer that

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Speaker 1: will gift you something so that you look special on

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Speaker 1: stage and off stage. A tool is the kind of

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Speaker 1: guy that is gonna be kind to you. And if

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Speaker 1: he sees you carrying a skateboard down the alley, he's

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Speaker 1: gonna see get in my car. Get in my car,

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Speaker 1: I'll drive you home. A good man. I don't know

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Speaker 1: about anybody, but multiplications when I've been on a skateboard.

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Speaker 1: He is a good man. And let's talk to that

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Speaker 1: good man. Ladies and gentlemen, a tool sing. Everybody makes

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Speaker 1: some noise for a tool. Sing a tool. Give me

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Speaker 1: a couple of nice words and qualities you admire in

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski plays. Craig is, uh. You know, whenever Craig

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Speaker 1: sees me on a skateboard, he sings by and picks

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Speaker 1: me up, which I always appreciate. And on stage he

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Speaker 1: really likes to pull as much focused as he can

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Speaker 1: to really to let the audience, Hey, this is where

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Speaker 1: the fun is, and that's appreciative when you are you're

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Speaker 1: just trying to work out kinks. Actually I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: I think we've been on stage together, right Craig. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's yeah. Why is he great? Okay? Yeah? Really answer? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Craig is uh, three things? Okay. Craig is a sweetheart. Uh,

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Speaker 1: Craig is very polite. I feel like Craig takes his time. Um,

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Speaker 1: I like the patients sometimes I see from Craig which

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Speaker 1: maybe I don't have. So it's funny as you're saying

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Speaker 1: that bit tool. I feel like those are some of

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Speaker 1: the qualities I would describe about you. You're You're also

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Speaker 1: a sweetheart, very pit everybody, it is the very polite

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Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski. Craig at Kowski, boy, do I love you.

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Speaker 1: But it's not about how I feel about you. Tell

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Speaker 1: us a couple of words, a couple of aalities that

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Speaker 1: you admire about Jackie to Ruthie. Please, Okay, I see

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Speaker 1: where this is going. By the way, this is all

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Speaker 1: a ploy for Chris to get two compliments. It has

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Speaker 1: to loop back around. No, no, what's Joey gonna say?

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Speaker 1: But Jackie I think is just brave. She's like bold

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Speaker 1: and brave and strong. Uh and just has has no

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Speaker 1: filter in a great way. And it's just like tapping

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Speaker 1: it into her her impulses and it's like just go

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Speaker 1: along for the ride. Uh. And she makes everything so

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Speaker 1: much fun. Hell, yes, agreed, agreed, Jackie to Ruthie. I

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Speaker 1: agree with everything Craig just said about you, But tell

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Speaker 1: us what are some qualities that you admire about Joey Greer? Yes,

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Speaker 1: thank you. Well, guys, we know Joey makes meal. He

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Speaker 1: makes us all laugh. He's a funny guy. Here's what

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Speaker 1: I also like about Joey. He can also have a

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Speaker 1: very serious conversation and get real deep and I like that.

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Speaker 1: What's nice about Joey is he can be on all

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Speaker 1: the time, but he's not on all the time. We

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Speaker 1: don't need him to be on all the time. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: he turns it off and he can tap in and

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Speaker 1: just have a real combo. And I like that a lot.

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Speaker 1: He's a generous guy. He's a nice guy and also fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he knows how to like get whether it's a show

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Speaker 1: or a party, he's going to get it going. Also

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Speaker 1: a great dancer, and I don't know if that's something

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Speaker 1: that's tapped into this podcast. Dances on this podcast. Okay, um,

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Speaker 1: this skill level is high. It's a very good dancing.

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Speaker 1: It's very good dancing. Okay, okay, Wow. A lot of

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Speaker 1: high praise for the man himself, Joey Greer. Now, Joey,

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Speaker 1: this is how the circle is gonna complete. Tell us

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Speaker 1: a few words, the things that you admire about somebody

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Speaker 1: who obviously admires you. James Heeney talked to us about James.

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Speaker 1: I think James James Heeney is probably one of the

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Speaker 1: hardest working, dedicated individuals when it comes to the art

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Speaker 1: form of improv or anything he is interested in. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: this guy puts in the time. He's funny as hell.

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Speaker 1: I've learned so much from James. He liked when I

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Speaker 1: was like coming up, especially like admission and probablem James

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Speaker 1: took me under one of his like skateboard wings and

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Speaker 1: like showed me the ropes. And I can't tell you

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Speaker 1: how much I was thankful for his generosity, his openness

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Speaker 1: just to be like, yeah, man, let me help it.

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Speaker 1: Just no ego, just totally down and for the love

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Speaker 1: of the game, was just like, yeah, this person as

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Speaker 1: I asked for help, let me help him out. And

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Speaker 1: that's how he is in everything. If you hit him

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Speaker 1: up for any kind of help or any kind of question,

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Speaker 1: he's there for you. He's just so giving, so kind.

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Speaker 1: But a coffee addict obviously, so there is like if

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Speaker 1: there's a negative, it has to be that. But I

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Speaker 1: will say again the positive so funny as hell. Uh,

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Speaker 1: And if you know him long enough, he will abuse

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Speaker 1: you in the sense that he'll he'll prank you. He'll

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Speaker 1: constantly be like, I don't know what you're talking about

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Speaker 1: and then drag you on for like, you know, a

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Speaker 1: couple of years. But it's great. That's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: That means that you know you're in right. But exactly,

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Speaker 1: I mean the circle, Yeah, Chris, I just want I

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Speaker 1: think we all I think everyone should say one nice

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Speaker 1: thing about Chris, no one nice thing about Chris all

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Speaker 1: at the same time, or we're I think he's beautiful, awesome, great.

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Speaker 1: I told you didn't say a thing a word, but

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Speaker 1: that doesn't matter because you have a lot of words

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Speaker 1: to say in this show you. All of today's scene

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Speaker 1: suggestions come from listener emails, and if you want priority,

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Speaker 1: consider becoming a Patreon v i P. You'll also get

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Speaker 1: exclusive content, including bonus scenes. Those bonus scenes they can

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Speaker 1: be whacky, everybody, they can be wacky, and they are

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Speaker 1: just for Patreon v i p s. To get all

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Speaker 1: of that, head on over to patreon dot com slash

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Speaker 1: Alchemy this or if you would like to submit a

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Speaker 1: scene suggestion the old time you way shoot us an

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Speaker 1: email at Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's

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Speaker 1: email dot com. Scene one comes to us from listener

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Speaker 1: and personal friend. I think to a lot of us,

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Speaker 1: Jerry Witt, Jerry Wit he says, Hi, Kevin slash Cole,

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Speaker 1: that's okay, we get that. On November two, Alchemy This podcast,

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Speaker 1: the professor Craig Atkowski made the claim that bi weekly

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Speaker 1: meant happening every two weeks. It is with a small

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Speaker 1: degree of joy that I get to say, actually got that.

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Speaker 1: He spent Actually weird. Maybe that's a good joke. According

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Speaker 1: to to Miriam Webster, bi weekly and bi monthly can

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Speaker 1: mean the same thing because of the prefixed by which

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Speaker 1: here can mean occurring every two or occurring twice in

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Speaker 1: therefore bi weekly can be twice in a week for

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Speaker 1: every other week. So Jackie had it right? Do you

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Speaker 1: remember that, Jackie? I remember this conversation, but I don't

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Speaker 1: remember me being right. Joey, I see, I see where

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Speaker 1: you're going. And I didn't consider that as I was

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Speaker 1: putting we just built slammed him down. I would say, like,

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Speaker 1: what is the point even of words if they can

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Speaker 1: mean what they mean? And also their opposite. We gotta quote,

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Speaker 1: what is the point of words? They can do what

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Speaker 1: they mean and even the opposite. Okay, yeah. Jerry goes

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Speaker 1: on to say, now that we've cleared that up, onto

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Speaker 1: a suggestion, a nice simple suggestion here off road limousine.

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Speaker 1: I love you all, Jerry wit Motion City, California. I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited. This is actually my first problem. Can you

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Speaker 1: believe it? I cannot believe it. You look beautiful tonight.

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Speaker 1: So we're picking up your date. It's not the traditional

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Speaker 1: way to do it. Um, would you mind sucking it

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Speaker 1: into your GPS and I'll just have a stream to

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Speaker 1: my map up here? Sure? Um? Yeah, Um, let me

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Speaker 1: go through my text make sure I get the address.

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Speaker 1: Okay here, Yeah, it's okay, it's it's there, It's here.

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Speaker 1: I've got it on my screen right now. Great. Thanks. Um,

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Speaker 1: we also need to pick up four of my friends,

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Speaker 1: all of their dates. Um. It's gonna be just know

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Speaker 1: that picking all these people up right? For sure? For sure?

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Speaker 1: For sure? Yeah? So, um, would you mind if I

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Speaker 1: kept the window down between the front and the back

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Speaker 1: at least until the party? It gets it lonely up front.

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Speaker 1: In fact, if you want, you could sit up front

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Speaker 1: with me, crindin. I'm here at a party, so if

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Speaker 1: you're down to a party, then let's freaking party together.

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Speaker 1: I mean I cut party. I mean, as you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm an adult and you guys, I honestly I need

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Speaker 1: the divider up once the other adolescents. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's called out. You can't be drinking in my presence. Teams. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so for now we can be friendly. But once your

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Speaker 1: friends are around, the less I see, the better. Okay,

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Speaker 1: yeah sure, and the less you tell my parents that

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Speaker 1: even more better. And that's why once they get here.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for going, stretched me dry. How can I help you? Hi? Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking for a car, car, a stretched car please? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was imagining. Now, maybe I'm crazy. You don't have

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Speaker 1: a website. It's just why I'm making this phone. No, no,

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Speaker 1: we just have flyers on the ground. I was thinking,

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Speaker 1: like a car that looks like it's been stretched like

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Speaker 1: a funny a funny length. You're talking kind of like

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Speaker 1: it looks like it's it's like a stretching material or

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Speaker 1: like we've actually like it's melted stretched. Oh like I

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Speaker 1: was imagining some kind of like superhero like grabbing the

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Speaker 1: car by both hands and then stretching it out. Hold on,

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Speaker 1: are you outside because I see somebody talking to the

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Speaker 1: phone outside. Are you outside? Can you see me? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I can. I'm gonna I'm gonna just bring the phone out.

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Speaker 1: You want to you just want to come in? Do

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Speaker 1: you have any cars out here? Yeah? I mean summer

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Speaker 1: I outside, summer inside. I'll go to you. Okay, So

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Speaker 1: how you doing good? Hi? Do we hug? We can hug? Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's well good. So, yeah, these are the cars right here?

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Speaker 1: These are I got prius, I got a t V

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Speaker 1: S N. Yeah. I felt like, it's totally nice to me.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever been a prom? No men either? No? Uh.

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Speaker 1: One of my drivers actually was just picking up a

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Speaker 1: client to take the prom and Lucky then I got

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Speaker 1: the address, like is it like close? Like far? It's

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Speaker 1: pretty far? And like what could I wear? All Right,

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Speaker 1: we've pulled up at Maria's house, so maybe give her

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Speaker 1: a ring and she can come on out. Before I

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Speaker 1: call her, I just have to say thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: I think you're totally right. Lisa is just she's got

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Speaker 1: a competitive thing with me, and maybe that's not a

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Speaker 1: kind of friend that I need. Well, that's normal. You're

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Speaker 1: going to find that a lot in adulthood. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: have competition with people over so learning to deal with

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Speaker 1: it that was important. Call Marie on the phone. People

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Speaker 1: just don't have these kinds of conversations with me, and

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Speaker 1: it's and it's it's really useful. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've learned a lot. And you know, if your parents

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Speaker 1: ever needed a full time driver, I'm freelanced now, but

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Speaker 1: i'd happily like you know, I'd like to be part

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Speaker 1: of a family. I'm going to put in a word

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Speaker 1: for you because this is a friendship that i'd like

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Speaker 1: to turn into family. Alex, listen, I've been chaff rowning

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Speaker 1: these problems for Hey, I got seven kids, so you

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Speaker 1: know how it goes. The main thing you're trying to

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Speaker 1: do is make sure no one pours anything illegal into

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Speaker 1: the punch. Well, coach, kids are gonna do what kids do,

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Speaker 1: aren't they. No, that's not not on my watch. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, a lot of them were talking about pregaming,

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Speaker 1: which I assume you know means you know, getting getting

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Speaker 1: a buzz on before they get here. Who said that?

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Speaker 1: You know? Have names? Give me names? I I can't

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Speaker 1: name names. I mean, it's just a general vibe that

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Speaker 1: I'm getting from the kids. I don't like this one bit.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have to keep our eyes extra peeled. Make

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Speaker 1: sure there's none of this activity going on, you know

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Speaker 1: we can. Can I get some punch? Please? Yeah? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Let me get you get your little cup? Here there

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Speaker 1: you go, Tyler. Hey, hey, great job on that coch test.

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Speaker 1: Thanks all right, beat it, Tyler that you don't have

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Speaker 1: to worry about that kid. That kid's not gonna drink.

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Speaker 1: He's got no friends. Um, but he's the best student.

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Speaker 1: I have a calculus. Yeah, he's a good student. That's

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Speaker 1: how you know he's got no friends. But you got

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get some punch. Oh if it's not Trevor Bryar, Okay,

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Speaker 1: let me just pour you a little little cup. After

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Speaker 1: the football team, I look at you, Yeah, look at you.

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Speaker 1: Your hair cut strong? My mom maybe get it cut

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Speaker 1: for prom. But I think I look like a whimp. Whimp.

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Speaker 1: Had to correct myself. I say something bad, don't say

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Speaker 1: anything bad in front of me. After write you the

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Speaker 1: locker room talk, right, Trevor? Is that a bottle of

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Speaker 1: grain alcohol? Huh? The water sometimes kids us. It's a

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Speaker 1: little use bottles for to carry water. So that's all

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Speaker 1: it is. Um, I haven't like danced in a while,

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Speaker 1: so I just let you know I'm a little nervous,

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Speaker 1: but more exciting. Well, do you want to just practice

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Speaker 1: in the parking lot right before we go? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that'd be great. Okay, let's let's look at my CDs here,

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Speaker 1: like a fast song, something fast, maybe something Mario. Do

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Speaker 1: you like Mario? Oh? I love Marto. Okay, let's got

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Speaker 1: some Mario here. This is good. I do a lot

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Speaker 1: out here, so I've been a lot of people don't

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Speaker 1: know you're a good dancer. But that's something a lot

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Speaker 1: of what's the secret about you? Then? Um, I guess

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Speaker 1: it's being present. I think like this moment right here,

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Speaker 1: right now is with propelling me. You know, I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm levitating. If I'm being honest, Wow, that's your secret.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. I don't know how to say this, but um,

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Speaker 1: I'm really into this. I'm vibe with this. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm clicking into something that I haven't clicked into a

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Speaker 1: long long time. I mean, this is my this is

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Speaker 1: my folks business. You know, I don't get me sitting

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Speaker 1: in my stretch cars. You know what if we sell it?

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Speaker 1: H No, just man, we'll just sell it. Why don't

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Speaker 1: we start with prom? Why don't see how prom goes?

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Speaker 1: So we've got just one last pick up. It's Bryan.

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Speaker 1: But it looks like I don't see any direct roads

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Speaker 1: to his home. Oh yeah, Brian, he lives in a

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Speaker 1: crazy house. We're gonna have to off road to get there,

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Speaker 1: for sure. I thought at the first that it was

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Speaker 1: a farm, but there's actually no livestock or crops. I

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Speaker 1: just think he just lives in a ton of land

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Speaker 1: that there are no direct roads too. But I like that.

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Speaker 1: I like that about Brian. You don't think it's odd

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Speaker 1: that you're sitting up here with me and your friends

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Speaker 1: in the back, do you? Well? Crandon, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to lie to you. It's a little weird for sure,

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Speaker 1: but I feel a close friendship with you. But if

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Speaker 1: you I can't go into problem with you obviously your life.

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Speaker 1: I wish one of your ass old as the chaperon. Um,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, we're both chaperones. Oh you're both. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll watch my ass, you son of a bitch. Now,

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Speaker 1: which one you took my my son's great alcohol away. Huh?

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Speaker 1: Well that yet, that was me I I, oh you

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Speaker 1: did it. Let's go outside and fight. But let's go.

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Speaker 1: Come on, No one's gonna fight, sir. Alright, oh, no

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Speaker 1: one's gonna fight. No one's gonna fight. You took great.

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Speaker 1: Stop snap it. Stop poking me. Oh you don't like that.

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Speaker 1: I'll snap his arm and up dad, that's coach. Let

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Speaker 1: his arm goach. I'm sorry about that. How you doing,

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Speaker 1: coach doing good? Yes? Hold it took my grain alcohol?

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Speaker 1: Uh huh? You know how many you know how many

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Speaker 1: scholarships he's got? I do I know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He's got um one to uh uh and then uh

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Speaker 1: he's got scholarships. All right, Okay, great, he still can't

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Speaker 1: have liquor at the prom. Creature. That's our math teacher, Sir.

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Speaker 1: We suggest that you back up before something terrible happens

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Speaker 1: to you. What's going on? All these all these loose

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Speaker 1: kids that were just kind of what's going on? It's

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Speaker 1: daring my DNA part in local news. We'd like to

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Speaker 1: update what happened at the prom last night at Creek

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Speaker 1: Wood High School, where the math club went on a

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Speaker 1: ritualistic terror and has Oh my goodness, lady, h this

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Speaker 1: is so hard. Something like this never happens in this town. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna cut the sports while I just catch my breath. Uh, Taylor,

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Speaker 1: Uh this, Hey, I just wanted to say that was

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Speaker 1: it was a lot of fun. But the sun's coming

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Speaker 1: up and h yeah, maybe you've got to give me

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Speaker 1: a list of those cars that are available to rent

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Speaker 1: or right, yeah, totally. Um, yeah, so I have a

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Speaker 1: Pontiac bring I uh regularly regular limousine. Yeah, okay, hey,

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Speaker 1: why don't I just um, I'll be in touch. Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you want me to call? Or Okay, kids, let's

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Speaker 1: let's clear it out of here. Prom is over all? Right?

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, sorry, wait a second, you're not kids. You're

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Speaker 1: two adult men sitting in the back of a car together.

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Speaker 1: Is that a crime? Is that a crime? No, it's

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Speaker 1: not a crime. But why are you here? Good question?

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Speaker 1: Good question? Why are we here? Well, Marcus came over

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Speaker 1: to me looking for a stretch car and I run

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Speaker 1: stretched me try the limo service, and uh, one thing

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Speaker 1: led to another. We danced for so long, I thought Maria, Lisa, Brandon, Chris,

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Speaker 1: you guys stop complaining we'll get to the prom eventually.

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Speaker 1: We'll just sit back here with this. What is this

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Speaker 1: going on? That's a person. They never made it. That's sad.

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Speaker 1: That's sad, crazy guy, I thought it was. Our second

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Speaker 1: scene comes to us from a boyfriend and girlfriend duo

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Speaker 1: Josh and Kate. They right, hey, alchemist. My girlfriend recommended

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Speaker 1: the pod and I ended up being an even bigger

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Speaker 1: fan than her. Haven't missed an episode. We even saw

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Speaker 1: y'all performing at the West Side way back and we

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Speaker 1: had a wonderful time. The suggestion is something I said

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Speaker 1: to my girlfriend. Once you smell like the most beautiful meat, beef,

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Speaker 1: we stay funny Josh and Kate, I wouldn't even know

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Speaker 1: how to respond to that, honestly, I just I don't

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Speaker 1: even know what he meant by that. That's like crazy

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Speaker 1: to hear um, But I'm sure he meant it like positively,

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I just when I think

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Speaker 1: of the smell of beef, it's the last thing I

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Speaker 1: want to smell like. I honestly would like something gloral,

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Speaker 1: maybe something fruity, but any sort of meat like a

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Speaker 1: ladies Oh yeah, thank you? Excuse me? Can we ask

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Speaker 1: you a question. Sure, are you in a relationship? I'm

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Speaker 1: not prying, I just just for the question, not currently

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Speaker 1: but always looking. Um, would you ever tell your significant

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Speaker 1: other that they smell like beef? Mm hmm wow, I

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Speaker 1: mean would I ever, like, in all possibilities, in all worlds, like,

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Speaker 1: could that ever? I mean if they did literally smell

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Speaker 1: like beef, I might say it? Right, that's like, that's

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Speaker 1: like you're like, oh, you smell like be if you

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Speaker 1: need to shower, Like, that's not like, imagine that. This

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Speaker 1: is what's happening. You've just left a movie. It was romantic.

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Speaker 1: You're outside, you embrace each other and he takes a big,

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Speaker 1: deep breath inside your hair. You smell like beef? Baby?

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Speaker 1: What yeah, come here to stop? Stop? I smell like

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Speaker 1: what I smell like my most favorite smell in the

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Speaker 1: whole world. You smell like beef and you look like flowers.

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Speaker 1: What a combination? Oh? Um? So I was thinking maybe

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Speaker 1: you can come over to my parents house this weekend.

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Speaker 1: I think we're at that point, are we? You think

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Speaker 1: I should meet your parents. Let's back up a second.

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Speaker 1: The movie was a romantic movie? Or go into the

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Speaker 1: movies together? Was romantic? It was a romantic comedy, and

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Speaker 1: we went to the movies together. We've been dating for

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Speaker 1: a couple of months, I think, because you know, after

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Speaker 1: seeing Nodding Hill, it's like, I gotta just like jump

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Speaker 1: on this opportunity, you know. Okay, wait to say, was

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Speaker 1: this a while ago? Or was this? What are you

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Speaker 1: doing for the other tables? What's going on here? Look? Uh,

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Speaker 1: I've got something very important going on here. It could

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Speaker 1: be important. Well what could be so important? Look, we're

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Speaker 1: trying to resolve this hypothetical alright, it's not hypothetical. This happened,

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Speaker 1: It really happened. Well, I guess the hypothetical thing is

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Speaker 1: what you would do, ladies set up for Kurt. Okay, okay, um,

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Speaker 1: you say it? Okay. Well, my boyfriend a few months

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Speaker 1: went to the movies notting Hill. We saw a director's

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Speaker 1: release cut, and afterwards we could have stayed and watched

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Speaker 1: them talk about what we didn't. We left and there

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Speaker 1: was a long embrace in a big inhale of my hair,

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Speaker 1: and he said to me, I smelled like beef, his

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Speaker 1: favorite kind of meat. He added, my favorite kind of meat. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think he added it because I was concerned when

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Speaker 1: I said, what did you say? And he said it

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Speaker 1: again and I said beef, And then he was like,

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Speaker 1: at did he say that? Or you think he added that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a percentage here, but I do know that

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Speaker 1: he said I look like flowers, which was the only

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Speaker 1: reason I didn't slap him. Well, Kurt has been with

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Speaker 1: the same lady for what four or five years? Now?

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Speaker 1: What do you think about it? If I told her

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Speaker 1: that she smelled like beef? Um, what's the context is?

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Speaker 1: There is there raw meat around her? Was she rolling?

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Speaker 1: I don't think so, I can't. I mean when I

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Speaker 1: smell my did you have popcorn and rab beef? Not

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Speaker 1: raw beef? We had popcorn, my dad. I just I

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Speaker 1: want you to meet her. So I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: bring her here tomorrow night if that's cool. Tomorrow night.

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Speaker 1: I got to shift down at the deli. I know, Dad,

401
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Speaker 1: I was thinking, maybe you could take one night off

402
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Speaker 1: to meet somebody who who was really important to me,

403
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Speaker 1: to meet somebody my life is meet. Don't make I'm angry.

404
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Speaker 1: I got you. I got a full thirty five pounds

405
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Speaker 1: of port coming in and you want me to just

406
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Speaker 1: leave it and listen, let me ask you a question.

407
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Speaker 1: Go ahead, son, What do you love about mom? How

408
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Speaker 1: did you know? How did you know? How don't I know?

409
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Speaker 1: She came one day and uh she helped me and

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Speaker 1: she was a natural and we worked together with the

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Speaker 1: sharpest instruments that the world has ever seen. You. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I need I need about twenty leaders of pork. You

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Speaker 1: got that? You know that liquid? Fine? Yeah? I need

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Speaker 1: twenty leaders of pork? Can you get that for? I

415
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: know I don't work here, but I can help you out.

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Speaker 1: I can live you don't work it. No, I was

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Speaker 1: just in line. I was gonna get some let me

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Speaker 1: turn around that was going on. Hey, funny, you know

419
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: she doesn't work it. You're beautiful? Do you want to

420
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 1: work here? Do you think I'm beautiful? My last look

421
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: like beef. I need that pork. I'm also fine, I

422
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 1: need Don't worry, man, this party is gonna be lit.

423
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 1: I sent uh DJ to the store to get ten

424
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: two liters of liquid pork. What's what's he getting? Leaders

425
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: of liquid pork. I'm gonna shoot it right into my veins.

426
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: I got some needles, I got some some intravenous needles.

427
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: I've heard the highest instantaneous You know, guys, there's yeah

428
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: there's the needle option, but there's also and this is

429
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 1: kind of sound crazy, so that's it. No right, say it,

430
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: say it, don't get dampons ticket in your butt. But yeah,

431
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: and then you get that pork high. That's all. Call

432
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: me crazy. But if we didn't emulsify it and just

433
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 1: kept it solid, couldn't you just put the fork there

434
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 1: without the tampon? Why I have this bowl full of

435
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: tamp don't Yeah, alright, I've got both of them for

436
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: everyone us at the bar. I've never done that before

437
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: that though, ray J, you got a bunch of dampons

438
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: that don't have applicators. They're just going to expand in

439
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 1: the pork. There's no way we're going to be able

440
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: to get him up there. It keeps it from expanding.

441
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: You don't know where you expand. It looks like a

442
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: freaking I'm so glad that your dad took off to

443
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: meet me. I I'm a little nervous, I'm sweating. It's okay, listen,

444
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 1: All you need to do is be yourself. Oh I

445
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: can't be anybody else. That's right, that's right, that's right. Yeah,

446
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 1: come here, come here me hug. Oh yeah, see this

447
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 1: feels good. It does. It feels great. I don't know

448
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: if I would be willing. I don't know, a surlin

449
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: what I just whispering. I'm just glad that you're bringing

450
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: me to meet your parents. I I just I'm a

451
00:28:53,800 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 1: little nervous to introduce you to t Bone. Uh, can

452
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: do it, Let's do it. Okay, Yeah, right now, go inside. Okay,

453
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: we're here, Mom, Dad, come in here. We're in the kitchen.

454
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: We're in the kitchen. This is her. Hi, I'm Jane.

455
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: I can't say how much I think you've made the

456
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: best boy in the world. Like you've done a great

457
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: job raising him. This is the This is a great

458
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: a boy right here. Yeah. Yeah, he's a primar ram

459
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: if you know what I mean. He's a he's a

460
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: juicy cut. Yeah, he's pretty juicy. He's pretty juicy. So

461
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 1: like Darling, what do you taste like, Darling? I taste

462
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: like sugar and spice and everything nice. We don't have

463
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 1: much three tooth here, I mean, she said sugar and

464
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: spice at everything nice? Part of me? Are you in

465
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: a relationship? H always looking now? Look I'm dating a woman.

466
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: And she said that she tastes like sugar and spice.

467
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: And everything nice. Is that a red flag? She says,

468
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 1: she tastes like that. Come on, well, what's going on?

469
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: What about these other tables? Look, we've got to hear

470
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 1: this hypothetical, Kurt. Okay, it's important. Running by my bike,

471
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 1: my by my Boycurt? Where time? I hate it? So,

472
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 1: first of all, I love this restaurant. I love these fries.

473
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: Thank you. Okay, So I'm dating and she was. I

474
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: hired the chef, Thank you, credit for the fried. I

475
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: hired the chef, thank you very much. Huh huh so

476
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: um so she said that she tastes like sugar and

477
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: spice and everything nice. Let us got a little out there,

478
00:30:51,640 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: who did? Where's your chef? There? You are? Love? They compliment. Thanks,

479
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 1: it's just you you put you know, potatoes and oil.

480
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: It's not that. What was that ever? Done that happen? What? Nothing?

481
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: What the funk were you saying about me? Leon? Leon?

482
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: He didn't mean at Leon didn't mean it. Leon on you.

483
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to charge you for this and you're

484
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: gonna have to leave. Okay, this is gonna for well,

485
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: at least tell me whether or not this is a

486
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 1: red flag? Am I dating somebody who's who's nuts? What

487
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: do you mean? Leon? Here this quickly before you fight? Okay,

488
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: just real quick. So I'm dating this woman. She's really nice.

489
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 1: She smells like beef. Love that. But she said that

490
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 1: she tastes like sugar and spice and everything nice. Is

491
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: that a red flag? What is it? Everything nice? Thank you? Right,

492
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. What is that? Hey, Jane, thanks

493
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: for coming over. I thought this was going to be

494
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: like a dat. You are not dressed up and this

495
00:31:55,280 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 1: is a cemetery. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't addressed up. Yeah,

496
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: that's where we're all black. I wore a nice black dress. Hello,

497
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: don't shoot up that pork juice to get some people

498
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: all over there? Ever, buy the two stones? At be

499
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: sucking cops? Man, don't shoot it expanded in another applicator. No,

500
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: don't do it. You don't do you don't get they

501
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: might be cops, because, um, are you with those guys

502
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: behind the mausoleum there? You can see him? Yeah, they're

503
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 1: looking at us. That's kind of my crew. That's your crew.

504
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: This is a break up party, Jane, are breaking up

505
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: with you? Are you choking me? We gotta wait, We

506
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: gotta wait until he's done breaking up and then we

507
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 1: can all get super high on pork fat. That s

508
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 1: to our third scene. It comes to us from Alchemy

509
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: v I P. Thomas lawsuit. Thomas says, hello, good alchemy

510
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: gang scene suggestion, legally binding friendship bracelets. All right, I

511
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 1: got you a Christmas present. Um, you know what, don't

512
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: wait till Christmas? Just opening now, just something to now

513
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: is that for me? Or who is it for? It's

514
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: for you, silly big silly Terry. What we're doing. We're

515
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: gonna do office presence later. Yeah, thanks Terry. This is

516
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: it's not an aw prestion. This is from me to you.

517
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: This is what it's from me to you. It's not

518
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: part of the put this in the White Elephant party.

519
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: It's just for the white Elephant we're doing. I thought

520
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: we'd agreed it. It's a Yankee swap part and that's different. Yeah,

521
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: that's right. Everybody excuse me and Terry real quick, sure

522
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: do so? Yeah here, just open it all right? That

523
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: is it's too bracelets? Is this a is this a

524
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: really small necklace? I won't fit around? I don't know.

525
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: They're bracelets, one for you, one for me. So you

526
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: gifted yourself a bracelet. You know, it's part of our pact.

527
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: Just try it on, Try it on, try it on.

528
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 1: I don't have time for this. Just try it on.

529
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try it on. Then you leave me alone. Terrific.

530
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: Now that you've tried that on? High, How do you

531
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: do in? My name is Thomas Lawyer. That's right. I've

532
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: been waiting here all morning. I just want to let

533
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: you know that this paperwork here states that you two

534
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: are now officially holiday season. Yeah. See smells like beef.

535
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: Did you did you smell? Yeah? He's my lawyer. He's

536
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 1: also jut nights. But that we're best friends forever. What

537
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 1: the fund is this? What is this contract? Uh? It's

538
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: it's it's when you put on the band, when you

539
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: put on the bracelet. It's just a clear we're best

540
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: contracted park skin. What the funk is this? What the

541
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: funk is this? It's appressive, dude, we're best friends. All

542
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: let's go back to the meeting. What what everybody? So?

543
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: What I'm thinking is, Okay, it's not just gonna be

544
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 1: a normal office party where we get drunk. I want

545
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 1: to I want to pair up. I want to do karaoke.

546
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 1: But I wanted to be in duets or more. Okay,

547
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: I want a lot of group bonding. I would just

548
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,720
Speaker 1: say that probably Terry now will do a duet because

549
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,439
Speaker 1: we are best friends. So I'm gonna write that down.

550
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: Wait what wow? Congrat Yeah, just happen a little while ago.

551
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,879
Speaker 1: We're both very excited about it. This is crazy. We're

552
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: best friends. I mean we're best friends. I mean we're

553
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: best friends. Why can't I say we're best friends? We're

554
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:59,240
Speaker 1: best friends? You keep saying that we got it, were

555
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: best I barely even seen the two of you talk

556
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: before today. All Right, Lindsay and Tom, can we expect

557
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,359
Speaker 1: a little grease from you guys this tonight? Oh? Yeah,

558
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: how we're going to bring it a little summer love it? Okay? Uh,

559
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: now stand, I know you're alone. Actually, do you mind

560
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: if we switch which song? Whoa okay from Greece? Oh okay,

561
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna do what. There are worse things I could do.

562
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: There are worse things like popular numbers. Yeah, yeah, it's cool.

563
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:37,399
Speaker 1: I it's not technically do that, but I'm really solo song.

564
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 1: But we can make it work. I know what it is.

565
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 1: I up and Tom will kill the melody? What song.

566
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: Are you guys going to be singing for your douet? Uh,

567
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: there's a there's a song by this group. Um. They're

568
00:36:56,040 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: called Milli Vanilli. They actually sing the songs UM song

569
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 1: called Blame It on the Rain. I think we're all

570
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: familiar with Billy Vidilli that I can't wait to sing

571
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: it with my best friend. What's going on? Did you

572
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 1: want to sing a song with me? I was gonna

573
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 1: do a Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson. Um. I don't know.

574
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: If it's a duet that you're interested in, we can

575
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: make that happen. We can make that happen. It just

576
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: kind of puts me in the spirit. I'm with you,

577
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: beautiful People? Are you doing this for? Calling? It comes

578
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 1: out of my throat hole? Karaoke superstore? What can I

579
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 1: do you for? Well, we're trying to do an office

580
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 1: party tonight and we'd like to get a karaoke machine

581
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 1: that has a wide variety of music for the office.

582
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: Are you are you outside? Are you outside on the phone?

583
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if I'm coming in or not,

584
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: so I'm just kind of calling that could be anybody

585
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: out of phone. Are you wearing penny on top? Long

586
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: trench coat. I means long that long. You got a

587
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: lot of rings on. I got enough rings for every

588
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 1: finger to have. Sure, that's you keep on mounting a cigarette. Yeah,

589
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: you're not smoking. Put this cigarette out, Okay, I'm coming in.

590
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: Do you think it was lit. You don't gotta make

591
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 1: that noise. You do have to make the noise. You

592
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,759
Speaker 1: don't understand. I'm under a lot of pressure. Okay, it's

593
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: going on. What's going on? I was supposed to get

594
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 1: this rental a while back in the parties. Tonight. I

595
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: need a karaoke machine that has a wide variety of music,

596
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: and you need it tonight. I mean tonight's the hottest

597
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: day for karaoke. I mean it's three weeks after start

598
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 1: work party. It's going to be over by ten pm.

599
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: I can get it back for another night party. No,

600
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: it's not stretched you driving. Yeah, yeah, you don't gotta

601
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 1: make that noise. When I got it? All right? Thanks? Hey, Terry,

602
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: want to u combine and say thanks for getting this

603
00:38:54,840 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: reports to me they looked really good and also my

604
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 1: feelings were a little hurt this afternoon in the breakroom.

605
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 1: I have a best friend. I have a best friend.

606
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 1: You've made that very very clear. I mean you never

607
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: see you again, piece of ship. What is going on?

608
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 1: What are you looking at your wrist for? I have

609
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: a best friend, he's he's my best friend, Terry. What

610
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 1: are you doing in the office here? I just I

611
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: thought we were gonna have lunch together? We are you're

612
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 1: my best friend, I'll pay Wait a second, Wait a second.

613
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: Something's going on here? Okay, nothing's going on. How could

614
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,439
Speaker 1: you be best friends with this guy? He's weird. He's

615
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 1: the weird guy. Okay, bad news. I got some bad news, guys.

616
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt, but and maybe it should just

617
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: be for you to hear. So maybe Terry and you

618
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 1: guys can step away. Say my name, I'll just say it.

619
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: I had to get a knock off karaoke machine, and

620
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: all of the songs are just ever so slightly It's

621
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: different words and like just a slightly different beat. Don't

622
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: tell me. You gotta break that news to lindsay you're doing.

623
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: I don't want you. Okay, there are things that I

624
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: can do. We'll find it. Okay, we'll find it. Do

625
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,959
Speaker 1: you ever, okay, do you mind if I just ask

626
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 1: you a quick question about tonight's karaoke. Okay, how important

627
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: is it to you? Very important? Well, of course obviously

628
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:42,839
Speaker 1: in me too, super important. Um and I've always thought, boy,

629
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: wouldn't it be great if the karaoke was a little

630
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:50,959
Speaker 1: more original? What do you mean? Here's your machine, buddy? Yeah,

631
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: now listen to me. All right. It says diesel, but

632
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: it runs on pork juice. All right, So you got

633
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,840
Speaker 1: a pork standard, you rent a carrioke machine? Is this?

634
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 1: Is this? What's Everything's on YouTube? Now? Literally everything is

635
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 1: on YouTube. I have like a wireless microphone that has

636
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: its own speaker and you can just look up on you. Yeah,

637
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 1: but this is a professional piece of equipment. Hey, Terry,

638
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: I just want Oh my god, you cut your fucking

639
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: hand off, Terry, Holy I cut the wrong hands, cut

640
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 1: the wrong hands. Why why are you trying to cut

641
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: your hand off? To stop the bleeding? We gotta stop

642
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: this bleeding. What's going on? Talk to me? What's going on?

643
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,000
Speaker 1: Is this friend a best friend? What is this contract?

644
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: It's pork it's pork paper. Wait, it says you, you

645
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: and him. Say his name? Just say his name. Maybe

646
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: that's it. Maybe we can get out of this contract.

647
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: Maybe if we say his name. We can get out

648
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,399
Speaker 1: of it. Are you say his name and I'll stay

649
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: his name? On the count? Three? Here you go, one, two, three, Candon,

650
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 1: I've actually never been to a work party before, nevertheless

651
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: a work karaoke party. I'm kind of nervous. Well you sure,

652
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: I'm happy to join you here. I don't have a

653
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: lot of friends, so um, I think saying that, Brandon,

654
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: how many years have we been friends? And you keep

655
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 1: on saying you don't have many friends? It makes me

656
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: feel like I don't really matter. What do I have

657
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,240
Speaker 1: to do to make you know that we're best friends?

658
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: Do I need to get you a bracelet that I

659
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,839
Speaker 1: work here? I work here. I don't need to my idea,

660
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: it's not just come on, just let me just see. Okay,

661
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 1: First of how how old are you know after all

662
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 1: these years? Well, I'm thirty. What is going on? That's

663
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 1: why my voice hasn't changed yet, But you're now old.

664
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 1: My voice is changed, but I'm still griending, still the driver.

665
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 1: I would like to change that. I would like to

666
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: change that. Do you want to go in? I want

667
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,879
Speaker 1: to be more of the best friends. I got you something? Oh,

668
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: thank you? Oh my gosh, it's Christmas rap? Should I

669
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: wait until Christmas Day? Right now? Excuse me? Can you

670
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: give us a moment? I don't know? Can I can?

671
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: If you're not going to just step to the side,

672
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: if you're not coming in, please, Well what do you think?

673
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: What do you think of that? Um? Hold on like

674
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 1: fish opening it. I'll tell you what it is. It's

675
00:43:55,160 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: a necklace and once for you wrapping, gonna tell her

676
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: what it was. And it says best lovers for friends,

677
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 1: and I want to go put it on your next Wait, wait, wait,

678
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: just put it on. We've never been I love you,

679
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 1: but seventies six and she's thirty two and we let

680
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 1: me just make it clear that we have never We've

681
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 1: always just been friends. Give me that. Wait, no, no,

682
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: I love you now you smell like no oh no

683
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 1: oh no, what's happening? Hello? I am turning alaw Yes,

684
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: I sell many drinkets, I sell many whares. What you're

685
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: looking for? Warned? Come with a curse? Is just a stretch?

686
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: Limo can get a stretch? Limo here? No, No, that

687
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: that is nick start sorry thinking I don't have to

688
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 1: make that nice hot my brace Lit's the necklaces are gone? Hi?

689
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: Is this people? Cannot may. I. I was just wondering

690
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 1: if you have a body swap like type curse ring,

691
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: Like what if I wanted a new body and wanted

692
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 1: to be, you know, a new person. Well, I don't know.

693
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 1: I don't sett. Why don't you come here as well?

694
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 1: Why don't what did you try this ring right now?

695
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 1: Just to see if it's a little look funk around child?

696
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,720
Speaker 1: I preferred to I wanted to switch with a specific person.

697
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: But just try it. I mean, if I try it, okay,

698
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll put the ring on. But who the

699
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 1: beautiful people? The beautiful people? Hey, thank you everybody? Thank you? Mark?

700
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: I were you just practicing in the bathroom here? Yeah?

701
00:45:55,560 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: What's up? You missed your spot? What you missed your spot?

702
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 1: That just went past you? Just swarming up? Why I

703
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: didn't hear my name? Well we were screaming, man. They

704
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 1: were screaming on the microphone too. I'm sorry, man, you

705
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 1: missed your spot by himself. Everyone joined in. It was

706
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 1: like a super communal moment. It's actually like everything you

707
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: were talking about, it's beautiful. Are you gonna finish up

708
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: at the urinal or yeah? No, go ahead? So I

709
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 1: guess in some ways it worked. Yeah, so you pee

710
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: like a toddler, like a pantil the way down. That's

711
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: our show, everybody. Okay, all right, thank you everybody. I

712
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: want to thank all of you individually. Let's see what's up?

713
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,799
Speaker 1: What are you up to? James Heeney, thank you. I'm

714
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: just hoping that everybody comes out to Sketch Fest. It's

715
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: the first Sunday in January, and it's gonna be a

716
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: wild time. I can't wait to get on the mica.

717
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 1: They can't be the first, right, No, it's the second Sunday.

718
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: It's the bi weekly Sunday of January. That's the second Sunday.

719
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 1: But it's the It's the first Sunday of Sketch Fest,

720
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: is what I meant to say. Ah, Jesus, no one's

721
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: gonna show up. Man. Well, thank you James. Uh, Craig,

722
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,760
Speaker 1: what's up with you? Craig? Oh, Chris, great job today?

723
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: This was so much fun. Uh. It feels a little

724
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 1: like the cats away and the mice are playing and

725
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 1: I blast good Jack. They talked to us that you're

726
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 1: having me what a great time. It's the season for

727
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 1: Christmas movies, so you know, the most wonderful pod is

728
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: cranking out new apps twice weekly. Now that we're in

729
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,919
Speaker 1: December and it's um, it's a great time. We're watching

730
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: all the bad, bad Christmas movies see on my on

731
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:15,240
Speaker 1: my direct TV screensaver, it keeps showing all these holiday movies.

732
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: I had no idea that there's so many. And I'm

733
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 1: talking about the lifetime, the Hallmark that type of stuff. Lifetimes. Yeah,

734
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: what are the chances you could be in one of those, Jackie,

735
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: I'm done. I mean the chance I would love to. Um,

736
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 1: you gotta make that happen. And the thing is that

737
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: I know my role to I would be like the

738
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: bitchy current girlfriend that that needs to get the acts

739
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,920
Speaker 1: so that like the nice woman gets the man like

740
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: that's what I would That's what I think I would

741
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 1: thrive in. Can you give us a little reading? Yeah? Sure, Um, Jennifer,

742
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 1: you you want to go watch sports? Does it look

743
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 1: like I want to watch sports right now? Andy, I'm busy,

744
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 1: I have work. Oh that was good. It's pretty good

745
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 1: speaking with a boyfriend a tool seeing. Thanks for joining

746
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 1: us today. You fine, It's always a pleasure to be here.

747
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: A great job Chris hosting, good questions up fronts. Yeah,

748
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 1: I tried, I tried, Joey, Joey great. Anything you want

749
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,320
Speaker 1: to say as we're heading out, Yes, Chris, you crushed.

750
00:49:23,360 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 1: It brought us all together, even in the final scene.

751
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: You know, it was just got there. And James, if

752
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 1: you want to just throw that data again about when

753
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: we're performing, I think it's the second January. Our engineer

754
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 1: and producers to the stars, Doug and the fine folks

755
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: at iHeart Media. Your guess that was Chris Albarad and

756
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 1: I thank you for listening. And until next time, O

757
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: and afore and a football