Speaker 1: I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made.
Speaker 1: DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning
Speaker 1: to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I
Speaker 1: feel free, I know who every part of me. It's
Speaker 1: beautiful and then will always out wait if you feel
Speaker 1: it with your eyes in the air, She'll love to
Speaker 1: the mood. I am there, say good day and did
Speaker 1: you and die out? Welcome back everybody. This is my
Speaker 1: first episode back after having a baby. I think, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's been a minute, so I'm excited. Yes, to be
Speaker 1: here with you and us doing an episode today. To
Speaker 1: get there feels like old time, so I'm loving it.
Speaker 1: May I just say you look radiant? Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: I just scrubbed my face and your harror looks beautiful.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you have what the mom life
Speaker 1: is like by I know you posted something on Instagram
Speaker 1: the other day about you got your hair done and
Speaker 1: if you know, some people associate that with guilty pleasure
Speaker 1: and I loved that post so much, so I want
Speaker 1: to encourage people to go to your Instagram after they
Speaker 1: listen to this episode and read that post you put up.
Speaker 1: I think the photo is your beautiful hair. It's like
Speaker 1: a you put up a few different photos, but you
Speaker 1: can see your curly hair, and then you just gave
Speaker 1: us permission to do things that satisfy us and make
Speaker 1: us happy without feeling guilty about it. Yes, the idea
Speaker 1: was we need to really think about the language that
Speaker 1: we use, and the word guilty pleasure just never settled
Speaker 1: right for me. And I don't know if you're like
Speaker 1: asked this in interviews a lot, but people always ask me, like,
Speaker 1: what's your guilty pleasure, like looking for some confession that
Speaker 1: like I eat cookies before dinner, like you know, silly
Speaker 1: things like that. And sure, I might do something like that,
Speaker 1: but I don't feel guilty for the things that I
Speaker 1: do that make me feel good. And I think that
Speaker 1: as a culture, we're robbing ourselves of the potential to
Speaker 1: feel really good when it's available to us by having
Speaker 1: it kind of like warped under this idea that it
Speaker 1: shouldn't feel good, like if it costs something, or if
Speaker 1: it's like you know, reality TV, if it's not stimulating
Speaker 1: our brain in a productive way. And yeah, I just
Speaker 1: strongly believe that pleasures should be pleasuresome and we don't
Speaker 1: need to attach guilt to anything that feels good, unless,
Speaker 1: of course, you're committing a crime or killing somebody, but
Speaker 1: obviously nobody hears doing that. Yes, okay, So at Lisa
Speaker 1: Ham and that's h A y I am is where
Speaker 1: y'all can see that post, and then Happy Saturday at
Speaker 1: my fam. We're excited to bring you this episode, and
Speaker 1: Lisa's going to explain what we're going to get into
Speaker 1: because this was her idea, and I think that it
Speaker 1: will be really helpful. It's something we're gonna do today
Speaker 1: and then next Saturday will be this theme. So at
Speaker 1: Lisa take it away. Yeah. So when I was driving
Speaker 1: the other day, I've had a very few moments where
Speaker 1: my brain is working, but I had this idea to
Speaker 1: talk about a what we know Now episode, and I
Speaker 1: recognize that it could be triggering to talk about what
Speaker 1: we did then, but I think when we explain the
Speaker 1: now and why we're doing it, it's going to really
Speaker 1: be more helpful than it could be harmful, because when
Speaker 1: we can really see how how small and limited our
Speaker 1: minds were when we thought we were doing things for
Speaker 1: a quote unquote health, and then compare them to what
Speaker 1: we're actually doing now, we could really see a whole,
Speaker 1: big picture of health, and I think it's going to
Speaker 1: help a lot of people recognize really normalized patterns of
Speaker 1: behavior in our culture that are disordered and also contributing
Speaker 1: to what I call mind body disconnection, which means not
Speaker 1: honoring your needs because you think you need to eat
Speaker 1: or work out in a certain way. So the concept
Speaker 1: is we're gonna talk about what we did then and
Speaker 1: what we do now and why we do it now
Speaker 1: and why that's better. Right, So if you do any
Speaker 1: of these things, don't feel bad. You're not alone this.
Speaker 1: There's no shame in doing this. You may just have
Speaker 1: to hear why, why we know better now and why
Speaker 1: we don't do it, and then sit with that. Hopefully
Speaker 1: it will be helpful to you. And next time you
Speaker 1: maybe catch yourself doing one of these things, if you
Speaker 1: can relate to what we're gonna say, you might be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember Lisa and Amy saying this, and that'll help
Speaker 1: you reset if you need to love it. So I'll
Speaker 1: go first on this episode, and then Amy is going
Speaker 1: to share with me the things that she did then
Speaker 1: verse now. So the first one for me, I'm thirty
Speaker 1: three years old, I grew up when like we used
Speaker 1: to read real magazines and not just scroll on social media,
Speaker 1: and one of the biggest things that used to say
Speaker 1: on everything was to put your dressing on the side,
Speaker 1: Like that was the pro health tip, or don't use dressing.
Speaker 1: Either put your dressing on the side, or don't use dressing.
Speaker 1: Either way, the message was dressing is bad. And so
Speaker 1: all of us around the world we're eating dry, crunchy
Speaker 1: salads that were hard to swallow and forcing them down
Speaker 1: our throat, thinking that we hate salad, but we have
Speaker 1: to eat it. Like this flash forward to now, not
Speaker 1: only are many dressings full of healthy fat, nutrients and
Speaker 1: satisfy ying components to them, but they can actually help
Speaker 1: us eat more vegetables and eat more salad. And when
Speaker 1: it comes to this conversation, I think it's important to
Speaker 1: always ask yourself, if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.
Speaker 1: And at the same time, if you want to eat
Speaker 1: more vegetables, improve your digestion, feel bad or things like that,
Speaker 1: think about how you can do that and what you
Speaker 1: can add to your plate versus takeaway. And I think
Speaker 1: this mindset really contributed to this idea that healthy food
Speaker 1: taste bad, that healthy food is painful to eat, that
Speaker 1: it requires discipline, when in fact, my relationship now to
Speaker 1: food with dressing is can I get more dressing? Or
Speaker 1: please mix it all together. And it's just one of
Speaker 1: those things that has allowed me to reconnect to foods
Speaker 1: that I love and enjoy them and find satisfaction from
Speaker 1: eating them. I don't know, Amy, did you? Were you
Speaker 1: familiar with that one? Yes? I think satisfaction is key
Speaker 1: and this is something I learned from you too, And
Speaker 1: to be satisfied, you need to give your body what
Speaker 1: it needs. And sometimes even the simple act of dressing
Speaker 1: on the side or no dressing please, is a type
Speaker 1: of restriction, and then you end up eating way more
Speaker 1: than you would have eaten. And you maybe start with
Speaker 1: the salad at least this was the case for me,
Speaker 1: and you would think, Okay, that's all I'm gonna eat.
Speaker 1: That's all I'm gonna eat. But because that there was
Speaker 1: restriction there, then I ended up eating more things and
Speaker 1: more things, and that led to more food consumption than
Speaker 1: if I had eaten the meal as it was thought
Speaker 1: up and prepared. And you know, whoever, if I'm at
Speaker 1: a restaurant or was created that way, and I took
Speaker 1: it in. I maybe would have been satisfied by eating
Speaker 1: half the salad that day, who knows, or the whole thing,
Speaker 1: who cares. But because I created this you know, mind
Speaker 1: game with oh dressing on the side, and I need
Speaker 1: to just eat plaine, I mean plane romane. There have
Speaker 1: been times where I've gone to a restaurant and so
Speaker 1: many things didn't fit all the different boxes of what
Speaker 1: I needed. That I was eating straight up romane and
Speaker 1: that is it, and no wonder I was starving for
Speaker 1: other things and it would lead to more consumption because
Speaker 1: I thought I was doing what was good for my body.
Speaker 1: And really, had I taken it all in the way
Speaker 1: the chef prepared it or why the restaurant had it
Speaker 1: on the menu that way, I would have enjoyed it
Speaker 1: and been more satisfied. And two caveats I just want
Speaker 1: to say here is that I'm not saying that eating
Speaker 1: more is bad not good. What we're saying is to
Speaker 1: find a comfortable, peaceful place while you're eating, rather than
Speaker 1: find yourself in what I amy, I could relate to
Speaker 1: what you're saying to where like you're you eat you know,
Speaker 1: just the dry food and then you're in this like
Speaker 1: disconnected place and all you can think about is more
Speaker 1: and more food, whereas you can actually be present to
Speaker 1: conversation when you're being satisfied with the meal, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense right, And it's either you're at a restaurant
Speaker 1: or you're at a friend's house. That's why I say
Speaker 1: the way it was intended to be served to you.
Speaker 1: You're appreciating what is in front of you. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: something about it that is just way more satisfying mind, body,
Speaker 1: and spirit. Like all the things. You're more satisfied, you're
Speaker 1: more connected to it. And even now, if you want
Speaker 1: to have dressing on the side, we're not faulting for that. There.
Speaker 1: You might want dressing on the side because you want
Speaker 1: to control how the same thing, but you want to
Speaker 1: control it. That is okay, I still do that. Or
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even know if I like this dressing.
Speaker 1: I don't like this dressing. I don't want a soggy salad.
Speaker 1: There's a time and a place for that. But what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is a hard rule in attempt to
Speaker 1: control calories. When we talk about dressing on the side,
Speaker 1: we are purely viewing health from a caloric standpoint, and
Speaker 1: what we're missing is is that that dressing can help
Speaker 1: us eat more nutrients, more minerals, more fiber, more of
Speaker 1: that good stuff because we've minimized health down to calories.
Speaker 1: Thank you for summing up my point as a whole.
Speaker 1: So that's just something to consider your The amount of
Speaker 1: dressing that you want to use is totally up to you.
Speaker 1: But really it took me from that scarcity mindset of
Speaker 1: oh I have to eat so little and control every
Speaker 1: little calorie to oh my gosh, this helps me actually
Speaker 1: eat more greens, more fiber, more nutrients, more minerals. How
Speaker 1: awesome is that end? I'm satisfied, my needs are met.
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking about food all of the time and
Speaker 1: on that constant chase love it. Okay, what is something
Speaker 1: else that you now know more and do differently? So
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us, especially during this holiday season,
Speaker 1: we're really focused on thinking that because we are eating
Speaker 1: more holiday foods, that we need to burn it off.
Speaker 1: And I specifically remember this time of year being this
Speaker 1: time where I wanted to like wake up extra early
Speaker 1: so I could get that workout in so I could
Speaker 1: quote unquote stay on track. Whatever that track was right.
Speaker 1: It was just it wasn't coming from a place that
Speaker 1: I loved my body. It was coming from a place
Speaker 1: that I'm fearful what my body will do if I
Speaker 1: don't tame it. And I used to wake up really early,
Speaker 1: like five am early to get that cardio work out
Speaker 1: in or whatever it was at the time. And now
Speaker 1: I understand how important sleep is for health. Health is
Speaker 1: not food and fitness period. Health is our sleep, our
Speaker 1: inner thoughts, our mental health, our well being, all of
Speaker 1: those things. And recognizing that allows me to see how
Speaker 1: important rest is for my physical body as wealth as
Speaker 1: my brain health. And getting those extra hours might mean
Speaker 1: missing a workout, but it means that my cortisol, my
Speaker 1: stress hormone, is actually going to stay lower. Because when
Speaker 1: we work out, when we're stressed, when we're tired, all
Speaker 1: those things, cortisol jack's all the way up, and that
Speaker 1: can totally deplete us. But allowing ourselves to rest and
Speaker 1: restore can be the absolute best thing for us. Now,
Speaker 1: if you wake up at five am and you're feeling, oh,
Speaker 1: my body wants to move and get a workout in
Speaker 1: or or a flow, whatever feels good for you. Going
Speaker 1: back to that idea that there's no hard rules, but
Speaker 1: it's important to recognize that the rigidity of I have
Speaker 1: to wake up early to get that workout isn't the
Speaker 1: only way. Yeah, Like it's not oh, this is going
Speaker 1: to be something that's adding to my overall well being.
Speaker 1: It's more of a stress marker of like, oh, I
Speaker 1: have to get this done or my day is going
Speaker 1: to be off for I'm gonna you know, it's a
Speaker 1: punishment of sorts, or a way so that you can eat.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of different reasons why you might put
Speaker 1: pressure on yourself to work out, but when yes, it's
Speaker 1: a rigid rule, and I used to operate that same
Speaker 1: exact way. I wouldn't maybe get to wake up early
Speaker 1: because I did a morning show or I still do
Speaker 1: a morning show, the Bobby Bone Show, So I might
Speaker 1: sacrifice sleep at bedtime to get a workout in. And
Speaker 1: what I could have been in bed an hour thirty
Speaker 1: minutes earlier, which is probably what my body needed after
Speaker 1: a long day, but it would be ten pm and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, well, nope, I've got to check that
Speaker 1: box or it's going to mess up my entire body.
Speaker 1: I think I came on your podcast last year, and
Speaker 1: we talked about the glimphatic system and brain health, and
Speaker 1: if we look at this idea that like the only
Speaker 1: thing that matters with health is food and fit us,
Speaker 1: we really miss out on an opportunity to take care
Speaker 1: of our total bodies and our major organs, like our brain.
Speaker 1: When we sleep, the glimphatic system kicks into gear and
Speaker 1: all the toxins that we naturally accumulate leave through our body.
Speaker 1: But if we're not getting enough sleep, that junk is
Speaker 1: kind of accumulating. And this was never part of the
Speaker 1: conversation and health, and that's why I'm so passionate about
Speaker 1: expanding out that viewpoint so that we can skip that
Speaker 1: workout when we need rest, recognizing that we're actually still
Speaker 1: taking really good care of our health even though we
Speaker 1: didn't make it to the gym exactly. I love that one.
Speaker 1: What's another thing that you now you know better? This
Speaker 1: is a huge one for me because it has helped
Speaker 1: me with not just the mental pain but the physical
Speaker 1: pain that was associated with my disordered eating. And it
Speaker 1: was the idea that I can and should only eat
Speaker 1: when I'm really really really really hungry, like starving, like
Speaker 1: I would think that that was the proper time to
Speaker 1: start a meal, and I push myself to that limit.
Speaker 1: But what that did is it left me evenance. It
Speaker 1: left me unable to decide what to eat in a
Speaker 1: civilized manner and unable to find a comfortable full point
Speaker 1: to a creative, chaotic eating every single time, and took
Speaker 1: me from completely empty two stuffed every time, so that
Speaker 1: physically being empty in my stomach hurt that starving feeling
Speaker 1: where your stomach is like er. And then it took
Speaker 1: me to painfully full where I'm like, I'm never eating again,
Speaker 1: multiple times a day. And that's how I thought it
Speaker 1: had to be. Compound that with the thoughts around food
Speaker 1: of when will I get to eat next, When will
Speaker 1: I get to eat next, to at the end of
Speaker 1: that meal, being like I'm never eating again. I was
Speaker 1: so consumed with food, either physical pain from it or
Speaker 1: thoughts of it at all times, whereas now I actually
Speaker 1: want to get ahead of that physical empty I just
Speaker 1: want to eat when I'm a little bit hungry, physically
Speaker 1: hungry speaking, so that I can be more intentional with
Speaker 1: what I'm eating. What do I want right now? What
Speaker 1: would make this more satisfying as opposed to like the
Speaker 1: grand sweep that it used to be, and a lot
Speaker 1: of people with disordered eating or eating disorders can relate,
Speaker 1: I think to the fact that your meals when you
Speaker 1: are in that state are really weird. You might think
Speaker 1: that they're good, but they're they're really weird, disconnected, random things,
Speaker 1: and it's because you're just like revenous to put it
Speaker 1: all together, and everything tastes so good because you're so
Speaker 1: hungry that you lose complete connection to your body. I
Speaker 1: don't know, could you relate to like eating like really
Speaker 1: weird things when you were Oh, yes, for sure, like it.
Speaker 1: It would always be I'm still grabbing for more. Would
Speaker 1: be like I go to the fridge, eat something, go
Speaker 1: to the pantry, eat something, sit down, eat something like
Speaker 1: It would be like a thirty minute or longer or
Speaker 1: deal of like okay, meal time, which if I had
Speaker 1: been taking care of myself and eating properly throughout the day,
Speaker 1: it could have been a ten fifteen minute thing, unless
Speaker 1: it's like a dinner worm with people. But I'm just
Speaker 1: using like lunch as an example. Or if I went
Speaker 1: all morning long, all afternoon and then at two p um,
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I need to eat and kids are
Speaker 1: at school, husbands at work, like I happen to be home,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it would be a much longer process than
Speaker 1: it needed to be. That left me completely feeling gross
Speaker 1: as I don't know that anybody. It always led to
Speaker 1: the gross feeling. But you do. You feel full, you
Speaker 1: feel icky, you have you feel regret, you feel shame
Speaker 1: of like looking at like, oh my gosh, did I
Speaker 1: really just eat all of those things? But there was
Speaker 1: no satisfaction or I would go from salty to sweeten
Speaker 1: and that that still happens to me to this day,
Speaker 1: but I'm more aware of it and like okay, cool,
Speaker 1: and then I can go on like the amount of
Speaker 1: times I used to think about food in a day,
Speaker 1: and then I look at how I am now with it.
Speaker 1: I have such relief And I don't share that to
Speaker 1: brag in a way, because if I was old me
Speaker 1: was in a place where some of you listening might be,
Speaker 1: where I still was obsessed with food and thinking about
Speaker 1: all the time, I would be like, okay, yeah, you
Speaker 1: way to go, like I'm still struggling. So I want
Speaker 1: to say this with sensitivity, but I just want you
Speaker 1: to know there is freedom and there is such hope
Speaker 1: and like I am a I'm a success story. That
Speaker 1: might be a weird way to say it, but that
Speaker 1: it's possible because there was I'm sitting here listening to
Speaker 1: Lisa talk and I'm like, oh gosh, there was a
Speaker 1: time where food just had so much power over me.
Speaker 1: And now it's like I've taken my power back, and
Speaker 1: eating throughout the day and giving your body and your
Speaker 1: brain what it needs and not starving it and waiting
Speaker 1: for those hunger cues of like hello, because then your
Speaker 1: brain doesn't trust you. It's like I can't trust this
Speaker 1: person because she does not know how to eat, and
Speaker 1: she just made me get straight up starving. So now
Speaker 1: I'm going to eat meat meat because I don't know
Speaker 1: when she's going to feed me again. And I also
Speaker 1: want to flag what you said. You said you feel
Speaker 1: like you got your power back, something I thought about yesterday.
Speaker 1: It's a little tangential, But is this like idea of
Speaker 1: food freedom everybody. It's been like plastered all over the
Speaker 1: internet to the point where I think, if you see it,
Speaker 1: at least for me, I'm like almost rolling my eyes,
Speaker 1: like food freedom, food for you, I don't know, just
Speaker 1: for a long time. It's an important concept, don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong. But what is underneath it is the important
Speaker 1: concept that you amy hit the nail on the head
Speaker 1: with food. Freedom is great, that's when you start to
Speaker 1: feel freedom around what you can eat, when you can eat,
Speaker 1: and how you can eat it. But underneath that is
Speaker 1: getting your power back and your life back and creating
Speaker 1: again what I call that mind body connection. So food
Speaker 1: freedom is just the start, but what's underneath it is
Speaker 1: you getting your life back, your brain space back, a
Speaker 1: comfortability in your body back. And I don't mean comfortability
Speaker 1: where you look in the mirror and say, wow, you
Speaker 1: look amazing. I mean stopping from experiencing that place where
Speaker 1: you're so painfully hungry, we're so painfully full, ending meals
Speaker 1: at a place where you know you can have more
Speaker 1: later and you feel really confident to stop then because
Speaker 1: there is no hard stop time of when you're allowed
Speaker 1: to eat and when you're not and to It's kind
Speaker 1: of tie in the working out thing. I think sometimes
Speaker 1: when we restrict and then we end up eating way
Speaker 1: more and we don't feel good, then it's a cycle.
Speaker 1: It all feeds off of each other pun intended. I
Speaker 1: feel like if I had those moments where maybe I
Speaker 1: would have been fine without not working out that day,
Speaker 1: but the minute I went over that threshold and felt
Speaker 1: gross and full and whatever, then it was like, all right,
Speaker 1: now I gotta work out. I mean, I just ruined
Speaker 1: that because I need to burn all of this because
Speaker 1: this feeling doesn't feel good. So I feel like if
Speaker 1: I work out, that will help me feel better. And
Speaker 1: it's just this weird cycle, and you're you're creating a
Speaker 1: negative relationship to exercise that way, because you're using it
Speaker 1: solely as a tool to counteract what you quote unquote
Speaker 1: did when the two are separate and can both be
Speaker 1: good for you, But now we've made both of them
Speaker 1: negative experiences exactly, why don't you share one more thing
Speaker 1: that you now know better. The last one I'm going
Speaker 1: to share today is thinking that bloating was bad and
Speaker 1: that eating a salad would get rid of it. So
Speaker 1: these are kind of two different points I want to
Speaker 1: get into. But the first one is that bloating is
Speaker 1: normal to some degree. Now, what you're experiencing is it
Speaker 1: bloating or is its stomach distension After you eat a meal.
Speaker 1: Your stomach is only about the size of a fist,
Speaker 1: So I hold your fist up amy like that's like
Speaker 1: less than a sandwich, right, So one sandwich in your
Speaker 1: stomach and there's going to be some distension. There's a
Speaker 1: digestive period that needs to happen. And so when for me,
Speaker 1: when I was in this disordered state, I was body
Speaker 1: checking all the time. So any time I passed a mirror,
Speaker 1: I was lifting up my shirt to see what my
Speaker 1: abs or my stomach looked like, or this and that.
Speaker 1: And I was so hyper focused that I noticed really
Speaker 1: subtle changes such as normal stomach distension and called it bloating.
Speaker 1: Now bloating if it is uncomfortable, if it is constant,
Speaker 1: if it is giving you pain, that is a different story,
Speaker 1: and you should consult with your doctor to make sure
Speaker 1: there are no g I things. However, I think in
Speaker 1: our society we are really obsessed with our own bodies
Speaker 1: to the point where we are over checking them and
Speaker 1: finding things that are totally normal and labeling them as
Speaker 1: something that's not, such as bloating, and then looking for
Speaker 1: a solution. So why I said the salad portion was
Speaker 1: because back then I would only eat salad. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: eat carbohydrates and things like that, and I didn't understand
Speaker 1: why some of my friends who ate whatever they wanted
Speaker 1: didn't have the stomach distension that I was experiencing after
Speaker 1: a meal. And you have to consider the fact that
Speaker 1: a lot of healthy foods like salad, high fiber stuff
Speaker 1: takes longer to digest and therefore is going to cause
Speaker 1: possibly more stomach distension or possibly minor bloating. That doesn't
Speaker 1: mean that it's a bad thing at all. We just
Speaker 1: need to, really, I think, remove ourselves from this idea
Speaker 1: that if our bodies change after a meal or a
Speaker 1: couple hours after a meal, doesn't mean that we've done
Speaker 1: something wrong. And instead of reaching for the food that
Speaker 1: you think should fix it because it's healthy, ask yourself
Speaker 1: what would satisfy me in this moment. I love that
Speaker 1: it makes me think of one of the things that
Speaker 1: I'm going to share next week when I go with
Speaker 1: most of things that I now no better along the
Speaker 1: lines of body checking and just you know, weighing yourself
Speaker 1: and the roller coaster ride that that can take you on.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'll be unpacking some of that next Saturday. Lisa,
Speaker 1: I think this is a good idea. Hopefully it will
Speaker 1: be helpful for y'all. Don't forget if you have any
Speaker 1: thoughts or your personal journey you would like to share
Speaker 1: with us. We're still going to continue, especially into sharing
Speaker 1: personal stories from you, so we would love to get
Speaker 1: them from you, and you can email us hello at
Speaker 1: Outweigh podcast dot com. I hope this was helpful, and
Speaker 1: I hope the next time you fall into one of
Speaker 1: these traps you're able to zoom out and see why
Speaker 1: it might be time to do things a little bit differently.
Speaker 1: All right, You'll have a good day by