WEBVTT - How to Communicate with Your Parents about Your Kids 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:05.440 Welcome to the show, my show, your show. 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:09.119 It's a girl, Amada and you're listening to exactly Amada. 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:11.039 Yea, this is having it. So this is a production 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:11.640 of my heart. 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.720 And thank you so much for turning in. Don't forget 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:16.480 to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform, 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:19.959 rate us five stars and leave us a review. And 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:21.599 you know I'm gonna go over there and head over 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:23.520 and what you gonna sat everything you guys have to say, 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:27.080 because I like to know your comments on my episodes. Okay, 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:29.319 head over to the YouTube where you can watch or 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:31.320 listen to the podcast by searching for micro through that 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:36.160 podcast and clicking on exactly Amada. With that being said, 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:40.640 today's topic is stop winning Simo. Today's topic it hits 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:45.800 home combre because I am personally going through this experience 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:52.519 grandparents overstepping parents with their own traditional ways of raising children. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.160 Does that make sense? Were you raised by your wiliita 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:57.880 or your wiliito or did you ever. 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.920 Have unai I'm a teaching there was always in you know, 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:04.280 in your in your house or they always had an 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.479 opinion about how you were being raised or what your 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.880 mom should do or shouldn't do, or maybe are you 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:12.240 a mother or a father that is raising your children, 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:14.679 and your mother or father is always all up in 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:17.440 the mix, all up in your business on how you 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:21.800 should raise your kids. Bueno. Today, we're exactly talking about 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:24.560 a lot of the common things that happen in those 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:29.120 challenging situations with your grandparents, well with their grandparents meaning 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:32.440 your parents, and their own personal traditions of how you 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.360 should raise your kids. And in many occasions you don't 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:36.800 want to disrespect them because obviously, you know, they raised you, 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:39.000 and I'm sure they did a good job raising you. 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:41.000 But these days you may have your. 0:01:40.840 --> 0:01:44.039 Own ways, your own perspective, your own different opinions on 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:45.760 how children should be raised and the things that you 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:50.040 shouldn't shouldn't do. Some parents, you know, we obviously appreciate 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.240 their wisdom and the support of the grandparents. You know, 0:01:53.400 --> 0:01:58.400 grandparents come in with a lot of good gonsejos tips. 0:01:58.640 --> 0:01:59.280 They have a lot of. 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:01.000 Great advice on the things that you should do for 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:03.760 your kids. You're not the bilau and the chicken soup, 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:07.200 you know, and that's the samyla and all the you know, 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:12.680 all the traditional things of our culture. However, just because 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:17.440 you raised me, it doesn't necessarily mean, I may want 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.320 to raise my children the same way, and I know 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:22.959 it can be very frustrating, and you can feel annoyed, 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.680 and you can, in many occasions even feel offended that they're, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.680 you know, interfering, and not only that interfering, but again 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:31.680 on top of that, they be criticizing you. They be 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:33.480 criticizing the way that you raise your kids, that you 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:35.239 don't know what you're doing that and there are days 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:36.560 they used to do it like this, that you're not 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:37.919 a good parent, you're not a good mother, you're not 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:40.400 a good father, because they would have never done that, 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:42.079 they would have never tolerated. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:42.119 This or that. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:44.679 It's it's a lot of pressure because you don't want 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:48.440 them to feel rejected your parents, you know, the grandparents. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:49.680 You don't want them to feel rejected. 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:52.280 You don't want them to feel ignored, and nonetheless, you 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:53.880 don't want them to feel disrespected. 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:57.280 Does that make sense when me and Mama lolo? 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.160 But I mean, and you guys already know that, But 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:03.040 just because you raised me some type of way doesn't 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.639 mean I want to raise my kids that same way. However, 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:09.160 I've been very open minded because I believe that my 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.280 mom is also a very open minded person. She is older, 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.200 but she lets herself be guided by this generation as well, 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:19.520 understanding the times have changed and there's many things that 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.120 you know that she tells me that I take advice 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.480 and I try it because why not, especially being a 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:26.720 first time parent. In many occasions, you don't you know, 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.000 you don't necessarily know what you're doing. And I've had 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.440 my mom be like, you know, if the if the 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:34.640 babies are what and now, then put them butter in 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:37.720 their feet. I'm like, what, yeah, yeah, yeah, that always 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.120 worked for that always worked for you. And that's the 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:43.160 traditional thing when they're acting, you know they're when they're 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:48.120 acting in Kietas, you just put butter on their feet. Uh, okay, 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.720 all the babies having bad drinks, put a glass of 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:55.480 water under the bed, sure, all the baby And it's like, okay, listen, 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.240 I may not want to do that, you know what 0:03:57.280 --> 0:04:00.360 I mean. I understand that those are the traditions, but 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:01.680 I may not want to do that, But at the 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:04.080 same time, I feel like I don't want to miss 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:07.200 out on those special traditional moments. 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:11.120 Then that goes from one generation to the next, because I'm. 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.400 Sure that my grandmother did that to her and now 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:17.000 she's passing it on to me, and I may not 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:21.120 believe in it, but it's still a traditional thing that 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.719 maybe if you don't just look at it from the 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:27.719 perspective of okay, this may not actually work. It may 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.080 have come from a place of ignorance back in the days. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:33.599 Maybe it does work in save you know, but maybe 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.440 it's a traditional thing that it really makes her feel important, 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:39.080 that it really makes her feel like she's really doing 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.280 something for me and my kids, that she she is 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:46.479 bringing her culture into our households and she's teaching them 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.440 something I don't know. I try to be open minded 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:52.840 and be like, okay, d let's do it, you know. 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:55.400 But then at the same time, sometimes it's like, you 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:57.279 know what, I may not want to do those things, 0:04:57.320 --> 0:04:59.920 and how do you tell them? You know, you're kind 0:04:59.920 --> 0:05:02.040 of disrespecting me as a mother and the things that 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:04.080 I want to do with my kids by you somewhat 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:08.159 forcing your parenting as a grandmother to my kids. 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:09.159 Am I wrong for that? 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:11.480 And then on top of that, the most common areas 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.839 of disagreement when it comes to our grandparents trying to 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:19.279 somewhat parent our children is the discipline, right, the way 0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.120 that they want to discipline. Our kids may not be 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:23.040 the same way that me. We may want to. Like 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.520 I said before, I remember my mom, you know, was 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.120 really rough and tough with me growing up, but now 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:30.760 she wants to be all soft and tender and gentle 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:31.480 with my girls. 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:33.599 And I'm like, no, you were really tough on me. 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:36.400 I want to be tough with my girls because back 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:39.640 in the days, life was hard and now it's harder, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.719 not because of financial part, but because of the way 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:45.720 that society has changed. So therefore, having two little girls, 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.040 I have to teach them how to be a tough cooking. 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:50.240 I want them to be young, I want them to 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:52.920 be fine, and I want them to live their childhood. 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.880 But at the same time, they have to understand, like, yo, 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.320 you're not always going to get your ways. No, it's 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.240 not like yet it ay, thank God, just give it 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:02.520 to her. 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:03.279 She wants to cook. 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.760 You just know, you know what, sometimes you can get 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.680 what you want. So the disciplinary area is one of 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:11.839 the big things food, you know. I have always been 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.440 a big believer into like I want my girls to 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.920 have vegetables. I want my girls to, you know, eat 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.880 a certain type of way. In my perfect world, my 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:23.960 girls will be eating fruits and vegetables and no meat. 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:26.479 You know, I'm not a vegetarian. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.679 I am far from being vegan, but I really didn't 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.040 want my girls, you know, the beginning of their life, 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.960 to to be eating any type of meat, not even 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.320 chicken or anything. And that was just my way of thought, 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:42.800 me understanding that, you know, all the hormones that chicken 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:45.880 has and all the you know, the unhealthy stuff that 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:48.680 may come with with you know, eating those things at 0:06:48.680 --> 0:06:50.560 such an early age, knowing that their bodies is not 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:53.280 prepared for it. I didn't want them doing that, but 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:56.479 my mom felt, oh, no, they need to eat it 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:58.440 because of the protein. Because of this, you can get 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:01.160 proteins from beans, you can get prote for many other things. 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:04.000 And they're so small. I want them to learn to 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:10.320 enjoy fruits and vegetables because they're gonna naturally gravitate to it. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:15.080 They're gonna naturally gravitate to French fries and pizza and 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:18.320 hot dogs and all those things. All kids love chicken 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.960 nuggets and all those things. But the hard part is 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.840 teaching them how to eat the broccoli and the spinach 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:26.600 and all the healthy things. And my mom has her vision. 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.640 You know the baby should be eating lotre gobe because 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.160 we're Dominican Blad and Osalami. 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:34.440 Yes, I don't want to disrespect her. 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.800 I don't want her feel bad, but those are part 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:39.400 of the things that I'm like, maybe now you're overstepping 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:42.080 your boundaries because I have my vision of what I 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:43.240 want my kids to eat. 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:44.560 You know, the screen time. 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:47.280 I don't want them to watch as much TV, and 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:50.400 I know it can be stressful to hear them screaming 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.720 and crying all day and it's so much easier to 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.880 just put Miss Rachel or Cocomela or whatever it may be, 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.920 and then they're just gonna be quiet. Yeah, But at 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:01.240 the same time, I don't want my kids to become like, 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:04.480 you know, just like TV zombies, where they're stuck watching 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.280 TV all day or on an iPad or on a 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:08.960 phone and if you don't give it to them, they 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:09.600 go crazy. 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:11.800 And she's like, I know, so nan Yah, it doesn't 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:12.960 matter their kids. 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.240 And I'm like, I don't mind letting them watch it, 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:18.840 but there should be a limit of what is too much. 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:21.840 If it's one o'clock in the morning and you're still 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:25.040 watching TV, am I wrong for feeling bad and saying 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.720 this is too much, No, but they want to watch it. 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.080 So since when are you supposed to let kids do 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.080 whatever they want? Am I missing something? 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.240 Manners? I would say no. 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:45.400 My mom does a great job, you know, helping me, 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.400 and my father is well teaching them manners, you know, 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:50.360 the thank you, the glasses and all those things. 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:51.840 So I don't have issues with that. 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:52.400 Personally. 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.199 I'm sure that there's you know, people out. 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:58.400 There that your parents are out here watching your kids 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.120 be mad, disrespectful, be mad, rude, and just because they 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:04.080 don't want the kids to feel bad, they don't say 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.560 anything as grandparents if you want to overstep your boundaries, 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:11.360 if you're overstepping your boundaries for the best of them 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.640 as far as their behavior, please don't let your grandkids 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:17.640 be disrespectful and wild and rude out here in these streets, 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:20.280 like we see these kids in the supermarket throwing them 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:23.280 tantrums in the floors and you know, taking food and 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.560 opening bags and just being rude and disrespectful everywhere they go. 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:29.600 If you're going to overstep your boundaries to stop that, 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.679 please be my guest. But then at the same time, 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.400 every parent has their own ways of how they want 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:38.080 to raise your kids, because I also know parents where 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:42.200 they're like, just let them be free, let them express themselves. 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.800 You know, if she did a tantrum and she threw 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:49.520 all the groceries on the floor, she's just expressing her anger. 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:53.880 Let me tell you something. We don't believe in that. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:54.760 I don't. 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:57.920 I don't believe in that. I believe in. I believe 0:09:57.920 --> 0:09:58.480 in the time out. 0:09:58.520 --> 0:09:59.520 I believe in taking things away. 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:02.680 I believe in. But I believe in that laser eye. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:04.920 You know, that look that your parents used to give you, 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:08.680 like if you dare to move that. I believe in 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:10.800 all of that, but in that just like, let. 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:13.360 Them be free, let them express them And. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.520 For those parents that I like that. And I'm sorry 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.480 if it sounds like I'm mocking you. Maybe your parents 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:22.079 might be overstepping their boundaries to you because they might 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:26.280 be trying to get them checked safety. You know, the 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:27.600 first safety purposes. 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:28.199 I know that. 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.199 You know, some parents believe in I'm not letting my 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:32.840 kids out the house, I'm not letting my kids go 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:34.600 to the playground. I'm not letting my kids do this. 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:36.679 I don't want my kids to do that. And if 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.400 that is something that you want to be respected in 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:40.199 your household. 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:41.000 I get it. 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:44.800 Put that assle In many occasions they don't respect that, 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.240 you know, and I get that. And between that and media, 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.040 I not at least tell out a geese. 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:51.439 Now there's a long list. 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:54.920 Of all the things that a lot of grandparents do, 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.920 overstepping boundaries, you know what I mean? The time to 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:00.080 go to sleep, the places that they should go, so 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:03.520 the clothes that they should wear. In many occasions, I 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.000 want to put my daughter something and here goes my 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:09.320 mom with the mean so I don't like that. 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:13.320 I don't want them wearing that, ma'am. Ma'am, have you 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:15.800 forgotten that you've already raised me and I am grown. 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:18.840 If I want to put my daughter a pink dress 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.319 and you don't want pink because you want yellow, when 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.400 do they realize that now you're overstepping a little bit 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.360 your boundary. I want you to love them, and I 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.079 want you to feel appreciated, and I want you tolo. 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:31.200 But can I have this moment as a mother? Can 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:33.640 I have this moment where I want to see my kids? 0:11:33.679 --> 0:11:35.760 And even as a father, I'm sure that you know 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:39.079 there's some grandfathers out there that when the father says 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:42.000 my kid is playing football and you want your grandkids 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:42.760 playing soccer. 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:44.480 That may be an issue too. 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:49.440 Ask parents, Ask grandparents, do you know when you're overstepping 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.000 your boundaries? If you didn't know, please listen to this 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.440 podcast and share it and send it to them so 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:56.520 that they hear it from me and they don't thinks 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:58.160 you you might. 0:11:58.040 --> 0:11:59.440 Be overstepping your boundaries. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:03.200 Here was the smallest little thing that my mother and 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:05.120 I we didn't have an issue. 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.520 Tell me if if you've ever gone through something like this. 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:08.959 We didn't have an issue, but. 0:12:08.960 --> 0:12:12.000 We did discuss it, and even discussing it made me 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:12.640 feel weird. 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.079 Why should we be having this discussion here? 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.560 It goes, so, my girls hear me calling my mom 0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:21.439 mommy all the time, right, kids don't know any better. 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.400 So they started calling my mom mommy, and I'm like, no, 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.640 that's your abuela, I am your mommy, I am your mother, 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.280 it's me, you know. 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.319 And then she was like, Hannah, just let her. 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:34.520 It's okay. 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:36.679 You know, they can call you mom, and they can 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:38.160 call me mommy or something like this. 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.880 Wait wait, wait, wait, I know that in the Latino 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.719 community and in our culture, we've had many you know, 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:49.400 you know it happens where you call your abuela me, ma, 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:52.240 mama or whatever it may be, and then you call 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.439 your mom mom or mother or whatever it is, or 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.840 you call them by their names and you kind of 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:01.920 somewhat share the same title. I don't know if you 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:05.120 knew how much that bothered me for a second. 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.600 Now, I was told, you know what your mother is. 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:12.680 Raising part of the raising your girls, and if it 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:14.480 makes you feel good, and it's what you know, don't 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:16.079 take your personal or you're always going to be their mother, 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.080 d da da. But then I had a conversation with 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.240 her when I was like, do you remember how special 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.120 it felt for you when I called you mom or 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.760 mam for the first time and the excitement that you had. 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.520 This is my turn now, you know, as a woman, 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.719 Now is my opportunity to experience just the name. As 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.440 a parent, you become so excited when your kid says 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:39.840 Papa or dad dad for the first time. 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.440 That is like your title, that is your name. 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.000 You know what I'm saying, And I'm not saying it's 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:48.680 not okay for them to call their grandparents that, but 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:54.600 can they call you ala auelo, you know, grandmama, whatever 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:54.880 it is. 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:58.320 But can I have that? Am I wrong for that? 0:13:59.160 --> 0:13:59.600 I don't know. 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.880 I felt really bad for two seconds when I told 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:04.280 her because I saw her face change, and I was like, 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.880 it's not that I'm jealous, but okay, I'm jealous, you know, 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:16.280 I feel a little some type of way. There have 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:19.600 been found surveys that say that when parents that have 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:22.760 asked their grandparents right the child's grandparents to be more 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:26.920 consistent with parenting choices, seventeen percent have said that the 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:31.920 grandparents refuse their request, meaning like, if they have asked 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:34.880 their parents, y'all don't do this. Seventeen percent of them 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.080 have been like, Nah, we're gonna stick to what I said, 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:37.920 and this is what it is? 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.560 Is that terrible? I also want to know something. 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.880 Give me your opinion, But if your parents are also 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.200 helping raise your children, should they have the rights to, 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.440 you know, give their perspective, their point and their opinion 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.360 and their you know, ways of how to raise their 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:59.640 kids or just because they are helping assisting doesn't mean 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.280 that they have the rights to make those decisions. A 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:05.360 lot of grandparents just want to stick to the way 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.920 that they believe and they're not willing to be flexible. 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:12.880 Some of the reasons for these conflicts are generational differences, 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:19.280 cultural differences, personal preferences, and we have to be understanding 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.320 and flexible of if someone gave birth to someone and 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.160 they want to raise them a certain type of way, 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.280 if even religiously. 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:26.680 Let's talk about that. 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.720 And I do my best to not get myself involved 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.080 in religion, but it is very important when it comes 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.640 to the Latino household. Your parents may have been Catholic, 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.840 You may want to be Christian. You may want to 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.480 take your child to a different church. As a matter 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:45.800 of fact, your family may have been super religious and you, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.240 as a parent may not be may not want to 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.080 take your child to your church every Sunday, may not 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:53.600 want to do those things. 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.200 Even it's so crazy. 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:59.640 Even the religious part of raising your kids and your 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.200 grand and the grandparents and your parents being involved, that 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:04.200 can be an issue. 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:06.360 Generational differences. 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:09.920 Times have changed, miha, We no longer do this, We 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.920 now do it this way. You know that can be 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.960 an issue, and not only an issue amongst you guys 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.800 you knows as your your parents or whatever your closest 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.640 family members, but it can be an issue that spreads 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:27.160 throughout the family. Like now you have your mother calling 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.480 your aunt, and now your aunt is telling the cousins, 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:35.440 and now everybody is looking at you crazy for having 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.320 your own opinion on how you want to raise your kids. Yo, 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:42.520 isn't that crazy? I never knew or expected those things. 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.040 Like then they also want to know King and mamatich 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.200 the grandmothers are the grandfathers? 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.320 Are there any grandfathers out there? Kauzumb being medio. 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:52.960 They always really have an opinion, maybe on the father 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:54.240 or like, you don't know what you're doing. 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:56.680 You're not raising your son right, You're not raising your 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:58.280 daughter right. That's not how you do it. Da da 0:16:58.360 --> 0:16:58.800 da da da. 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.520 You know, I know a lot of parents that want 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:05.280 to do in this generation gentle parenting, gentle parenting. 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:07.880 Know, Miamu, you don't. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:11.440 Do it this way. Let's sit down and have a conversation. 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:15.600 Tell me how you feel when we have a lot 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:18.040 of grandparents that back in the days be like, hey, 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:18.840 look a that's the fact. 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:19.919 Don't changkolate asso. 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.480 What she's missing is for you to get that chang 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:24.720 glad and throw it from one side to the other 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:26.680 and be he right in the head or you know 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:29.000 what I mean, what you're missing is to take her 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:31.199 to Puerto Rico, take her to dr take her to 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.760 wherever you know the the naga, and then you bring 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:38.879 them back to the States. Everybody has their own ways 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:41.679 of how you're supposed to raise your kid. But have 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:43.920 you ever been in that situation or you've heard it 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:47.000 or you've seen it where you're like, Okay, I don't 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.080 want to raise my kid that way. I don't know. 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:03.280 Grandparents may have different views on topics like discipline, education, nutrition, 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:08.400 the sleeping habits based on their own upbringing experiences and values. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.000 And I respect that, you know, because we also have 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:13.320 to respect our elders. We have to respect those who 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.520 raised us. We have to respect those that came before us. 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.320 And just because we have technology and just because we 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:21.880 feel that we know better, doesn't mean that all their 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:26.040 life experience has to go down the drain. Because they do. 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.359 They may know what they're talking about. You know, it 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.800 did work back then, why would it not work now? 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:34.159 But I also feel that a lot of grandparents have 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.639 to be a little bit more flexible and understand the 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.600 times have changed that you you know, just because you 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.040 raised me doesn't mean that I am going to mimic 0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:45.800 the way that you raised me with my children. There's 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:48.760 many things that a lot of grandparents feel that you 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:50.720 did right that may have not been right. 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:53.200 You have to be able to admit when you were wrong. 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.680 And just because you're older and because you deserve respect 0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:59.119 because of your age and what you may have done 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.760