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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson, and you were listening to the

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Speaker 1: Velvet Edge podcast. So I've been very honest the last

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Speaker 1: few weeks about the process of freezing my eggs and

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Speaker 1: the toll that it's been taking on my everyday life,

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Speaker 1: specifically my work schedule or what I'm now realizing might

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Speaker 1: be my overwork schedule. But I've received a ton of messages,

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Speaker 1: um just for comfort from you guys, and they've meant

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Speaker 1: so much to me, so thank you so much for those.

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Speaker 1: I have also received a ton of questions from you

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Speaker 1: guys about the process, and a lot of y'all are

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Speaker 1: thinking about the process. So I just wanted to give

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Speaker 1: you all of the information that I have and give

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Speaker 1: you the answers that I have UM living in one

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Speaker 1: place in this scenario, I truly believe that knowledge is

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Speaker 1: power and knowing what this process looks like, the cost,

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Speaker 1: the age you need to start thinking about it, just

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Speaker 1: all of those details, they truly can set you up

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Speaker 1: to make the most empowered, best decision for you here

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Speaker 1: at chip Doors. And I answering all of your questions

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Speaker 1: about egg freezing. Okay, So I have been struggling really

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Speaker 1: hard to keep up with all my work stuff. I've

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Speaker 1: told you this. I have Chip Doors here with me

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Speaker 1: from at Casual. This is not a not Casual episode,

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Speaker 1: though you did not tune into the wrong thing. Um.

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Speaker 1: But I have been really struggling to keep up with

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Speaker 1: my work, and so I've had to be really honest

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Speaker 1: with that. Like on my Instagram, I've talked about how

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Speaker 1: sometimes I just cannot do a podcast right now, or

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Speaker 1: like blogs have been really hard for me to get,

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Speaker 1: you know, up on this website. And I'm just struggling

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Speaker 1: to keep up with everything between being on set, keeping

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Speaker 1: up with my clients, and then all the other stuff

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Speaker 1: that I do because I just don't feel good well,

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Speaker 1: I mean, your your patchwork sort of lifestyle career. There's

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Speaker 1: no room in there for a vacation even there's definitely

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Speaker 1: no room for like having you know, just not being

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Speaker 1: at your best. Maybe that's way to say it. Like,

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Speaker 1: I do work a lot, and that's actually been something

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Speaker 1: that's become a huge realization to me when I couldn't

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Speaker 1: do it, you know now, I'm like, oh, ship, I

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Speaker 1: don't realize how much I do all the time. Um.

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Speaker 1: But also like when you physically not at your best,

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Speaker 1: it's really hard to keep up, and so when I go,

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Speaker 1: like what I've basically had to do lately is just

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Speaker 1: go to set when I'm going to set, and keep

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Speaker 1: up with my clients because those are the things that

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Speaker 1: I can't, like, I just can't not do their their

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Speaker 1: TV appearances there, whatever, they don't go away because I'm

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Speaker 1: exactly UM. So I've had I have had to allow

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Speaker 1: my assistant a lot more too for that. But when

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Speaker 1: I do that, it's like then I'm coming home and

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Speaker 1: I'm like going to bed so early, you know, Liken eight,

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Speaker 1: It's like it's mentally exhausting, physically, emotionally, all of it.

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Speaker 1: It's just exhausting that takes it out of me. So

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Speaker 1: I've had to really cut back and because of that,

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Speaker 1: I've missed a couple of podcasts. And I'm so grateful

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Speaker 1: that I have the support that I have of all

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Speaker 1: the people who listen to Velvet's Edge, because they've all

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Speaker 1: just been like, take care of your body, do what

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Speaker 1: you can. Um. But I did want to get on

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Speaker 1: here and just answer some questions because I keep getting

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Speaker 1: questions in my Instagram. It's a lot to keep up

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Speaker 1: with two, so I want to put it all in

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Speaker 1: one place for everyone to listen. Also, do you want

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Speaker 1: to kind of talk about what this experience has been like?

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Speaker 1: So I narrowed it down to the top questions I

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Speaker 1: get over and over about this egg freezing process, and

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Speaker 1: Chip is going to help kind of guide me through it.

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Speaker 1: Because I'm terrible at doing podcasts by myself. I love

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Speaker 1: to host interview. All right, well, um, the first one

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Speaker 1: is what we're the deciding factors for you to actually

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Speaker 1: move forward with doing the egg freezing again. So the

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Speaker 1: hard part about being a girl is it doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: what's going on in your life. When you turn thirty five,

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Speaker 1: your gynecologist is going to say to you, what is

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Speaker 1: your thought on having a child? Is that something you

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Speaker 1: want to do or not do? If so, we need

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Speaker 1: to start talking about what that looks like. Because our bodies,

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Speaker 1: when we're born, we have a certain amount of eggs,

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Speaker 1: and immediately, like the second day of your life, you

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Speaker 1: start losing eggs. You know, it's like you have the

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Speaker 1: amount you're going to have the day you're born, and

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Speaker 1: then from then on out you're losing eggs. So by

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Speaker 1: the time you get to thirty five, you're getting into

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Speaker 1: the place where your egg reserve is starting to really

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Speaker 1: die down. Um. You know, it doesn't mean you can't

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Speaker 1: have babies after a certain age, but it just means

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Speaker 1: the chances are going to be a lot more slim.

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Speaker 1: So what started happening for me is when I was

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Speaker 1: thirty five, my gond I was saying that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, definitely wasn't in a place in my

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Speaker 1: life where I was able to think about doing it

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Speaker 1: on my own, you know, just traveling and working and

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Speaker 1: I had so much stuff going on at that time,

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Speaker 1: but it was definitely on my radar. And she said,

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Speaker 1: I want by thirty seven, you need to really have

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Speaker 1: made a decision. So, Um, by thirty six, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I really need to think about this really heavily. Like

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Speaker 1: stuff doesn't look like it's changing. It's like I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna get in a relationship and get pregnant right away,

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Speaker 1: you know, so either way, I need to think about options.

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Speaker 1: And um, I just decided I was going to go

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Speaker 1: to the fertility clinic and see how things looked. I

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Speaker 1: really believe like knowledge is power. So if you're just

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Speaker 1: walking around and you don't know, like do I have

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Speaker 1: a low egg reserve or maybe I'm fine and like,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to push it this many year or

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Speaker 1: this fast because everyone's body is so different. Um, So

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Speaker 1: I just decided I would go into her fertility clinic

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Speaker 1: and get the answers. Basically, that was what pushed me

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Speaker 1: to actually do it. Okay, Um, question about that, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go. I'm gonna go off script a little. Um.

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Speaker 1: I was actually talking about this with coworkers the other day,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's a it's a pressure that women have

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Speaker 1: to grapple with more than men. Obviously, men don't have

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Speaker 1: to do it. Lo if you're if you are a

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Speaker 1: married man and you're trying to conceive later in life,

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Speaker 1: like it's nobody's fault if your wife is older and

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Speaker 1: her aadcount is lower, but it is something that then

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Speaker 1: he emotionally has to grapple with. But as a single woman,

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Speaker 1: it's that's different. You you're faced with these questions that

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Speaker 1: it's not like it's a cheap thing to do. And

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Speaker 1: it's also just under the assumption that one day you're

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Speaker 1: going to fertilize these acts. It's not like you're going

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Speaker 1: to get these eggs and say I'm fertilizing it. With this,

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Speaker 1: like you're literally freezing them for the future. So it's

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Speaker 1: you know, like how do how do how What would

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Speaker 1: you tell women that are like I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I want to spend this kind of money, but I

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Speaker 1: know I want to have a kid. Well, okay, so

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Speaker 1: for me, that's a really good question. Like for me, um,

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Speaker 1: let me think about how to answer this, because the

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Speaker 1: truth is is, even if you go into freezing your eggs,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to a work be

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Speaker 1: later become an embryo, like and I'll get into a

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Speaker 1: little bit of that later. But I just knew that,

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Speaker 1: like I know I want to have a kid. I

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Speaker 1: know I want a child. I'm not like married to

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Speaker 1: the fact that it has to be my own. It's

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Speaker 1: what I would want. But like I can wrap my

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Speaker 1: mind around maybe adoption is going to be for me,

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Speaker 1: Maybe being a step mom is going to be enough.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you know, something different would work for me. But

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Speaker 1: I knew that if I got to like forty two,

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship where I wanted that child,

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Speaker 1: and I hadn't tried everything that I could, Like I

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Speaker 1: hadn't done my due diligence to do everything I could

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Speaker 1: to exhaust all my options to be able to have

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Speaker 1: that option, I would beat myself up, that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So I just wanted that, Like that was just Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give this the best effort I can, and

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Speaker 1: then if I know it's not gonna work for me,

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Speaker 1: or it's then if I decide later not to use

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Speaker 1: the eggs, or then if the eggs don't turn into embryos,

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Speaker 1: then okay, I can grieve that. But no, I gave

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Speaker 1: it my best effort and that just wasn't my path,

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Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, I mean you would think too, then

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Speaker 1: if your only option becomes adoption or shood or whatever,

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Speaker 1: you'll be able to look at those kids differently, because

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Speaker 1: like then it's like those were that was a specific

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Speaker 1: choice at that point, you know, and it's a gift.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think all the kinds of motherhood is

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Speaker 1: a gift. But like if you know that that wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to physically work for you, or whatever it was

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Speaker 1: wasn't gonna work for you, then you just can go okay,

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Speaker 1: like the universe have different options for me. And that's

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Speaker 1: that was what really pushed me. You touched on this

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Speaker 1: a little bit in your first response, But what age

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Speaker 1: is too old or too young to consider doing this?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if there is a too young I

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Speaker 1: don't really know the answer to that. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you have to like freak out about it in your twenties.

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Speaker 1: I think if I could go back, I will. I

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Speaker 1: always say this to girls in their thirties, like, if

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Speaker 1: you turn thirty and your single or whatever, you still

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Speaker 1: have a ton of time. But what I would do

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Speaker 1: if I could go back is start a savings account,

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Speaker 1: and even if you're putting fifty bucks a month in there,

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Speaker 1: do it for this, you know, because it is expensive,

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Speaker 1: which I'll answer later to about cost, but it's expensive,

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Speaker 1: and like you don't think about yourself as ever being

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Speaker 1: in this position. I didn't, like I've always been a

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Speaker 1: relationship person. I never thought, oh my god, I won't

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Speaker 1: have the option later. And it's like it's not on

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Speaker 1: your radar as the top thing, you know. It's like

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Speaker 1: I was building a business, building a career, you know,

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Speaker 1: doing tons of other things, joy in life, having fun, traveling,

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Speaker 1: like all of that stuff, and I haven't been ready

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Speaker 1: yet to settle down and do the kid thing, or

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Speaker 1: I haven't been in the right relationship yet. But I've

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Speaker 1: never thought about like, oh god, times is going to

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Speaker 1: run out. It was just kind of like when I

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Speaker 1: get there, I'll get there. And then I got here

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Speaker 1: and they're telling me like, oh no, no, time might

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Speaker 1: run out. Yeah, and so it's a huge pressure. But

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Speaker 1: on top of that, to add the financial burden of

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Speaker 1: whatever it is is a lot. So if you can

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Speaker 1: already have it saved, and then later if you get pregnant, whatever,

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Speaker 1: you have an extra couple of thousand bucks, like, you

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Speaker 1: can always use that for something else. Well, it's funny

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Speaker 1: because it's you know, you're talking about a savings account

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Speaker 1: about money, but it's also something that like perhaps think

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Speaker 1: about the physical savings account of the eggs too. It's like,

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Speaker 1: maybe it's something that younger women should think about as

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Speaker 1: they near thirty and they they're not in a relationship

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Speaker 1: that you know, feels promising, they're there, they're they have

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Speaker 1: a higher reserve of viable eggs. Like like, would you

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Speaker 1: recommend a younger woman being like, look, if you think

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Speaker 1: that you might have want to have a kid, but

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Speaker 1: you're in no race to like find the man of

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Speaker 1: your dreams and settled down and be married, then put

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Speaker 1: some eggs away, then your chances are greater if you

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Speaker 1: can afford it. When you're younger, I just say do

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Speaker 1: it because especially if you're like a business minded person

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Speaker 1: or you're building a business yourself, you know, like that

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Speaker 1: takes up so much time and energy, and it's similar

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Speaker 1: to any man's life, like it just pushes back your

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Speaker 1: priority to start a family or you know, even whatever

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Speaker 1: it is, like have a kid by yourself, if that's

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Speaker 1: what you want to do. But like if you can

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Speaker 1: afford it, yeah, because if you're thirty two trying to

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Speaker 1: do this, I mean, like I had to do a

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Speaker 1: month of priming hormones to try to get my body

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Speaker 1: even ready to start the shots, and that ship is brutal.

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Speaker 1: But like when you're thirty two, you have such a

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Speaker 1: higher reserve probably that you wouldn't have to do that

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Speaker 1: or Honestly, a lot of messages I've gotten, unfortunately, are

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Speaker 1: people who are younger and they didn't know that they

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Speaker 1: would have a low of varian reserve. Like I always

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Speaker 1: just say, now, go find out, go to the fertility clinic,

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Speaker 1: make an appointment. It's not gonna cost a lot, Like,

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Speaker 1: just go do all the tests. See where you're at

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Speaker 1: and then just figure out make a decision if that's

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Speaker 1: something that you think you're gonna want eventually. Knowledge is power.

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Speaker 1: Knowledge is power. So, um, let's get to cost. What

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Speaker 1: are the costs? So it's expensive. So one round essentially

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Speaker 1: is about fifteen thousand dollars ultimately. Um. And then when

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Speaker 1: you say one round, that is all the hormones leading

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Speaker 1: up to the injections, up to the retrieval. Well that's

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Speaker 1: been my experience. Yeah, So like it's mine was a

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Speaker 1: month of hormones, it's going to be two weeks of shots.

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Speaker 1: I've had it before and so I did four weeks

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Speaker 1: of shots the first I mean four days of shots

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Speaker 1: the first time, and then they hanceled that cycle because

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Speaker 1: I wasn't producing enough and enough follicles. So this round,

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Speaker 1: it's been a month of hormones. Hopefully it will be

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Speaker 1: two weeks of shots and then the procedure and then

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Speaker 1: the overall cost of the you know, procedure and the

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Speaker 1: medical stuff plus the medicine is about fifteen thousand dollars. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not cheap. Definitely not cheap. And here's the hard part. So,

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Speaker 1: like I said, last round, I used some shots and

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Speaker 1: then it got canceled, so I had to replenish those

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Speaker 1: shots this time, which was like another two thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: That ship is so expensive. The medicine itself is about

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Speaker 1: half the cost. So um so yeah, So it's hard

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Speaker 1: because if it's not taking, you're going into another financial

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Speaker 1: dip if you want to keep going. And so with me,

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, they and I'll talk about this

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Speaker 1: more later. I think there's a question about this, but

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Speaker 1: like they want a certain amount of eggs and mine

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Speaker 1: doesn't look like I'll probably be able to get that

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Speaker 1: in one round. And um so they're like, but this

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Speaker 1: is when people do multiple rounds, which is an awesome option,

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Speaker 1: but financially that could be a lot because it's like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, who can just drop k Yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of girls doing this are single, So

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Speaker 1: that's like a tricky part of it. And that's why

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Speaker 1: I suggested earlier. If you are younger, it's something you're

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Speaker 1: starting to think about, just start saving. So it's not

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Speaker 1: like this huge and so it's not this thing where

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Speaker 1: you're like, I want to do that, but I can't,

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Speaker 1: you know, like give yourself the option to do this.

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Speaker 1: Is it something I'm going off script? Again, does insurance

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Speaker 1: cover any of this? So some people's insurance might. I'm

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Speaker 1: a self employed person, so I don't have insurance. That's

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Speaker 1: like killer, It's just the basic. So definitely when you go,

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Speaker 1: especially if you work for a corporation and have really

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Speaker 1: great insurance or something like that, check your insurance because

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Speaker 1: it can take a lot off of the medicine stuff too. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so someone asked how you felt about yourself once you

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Speaker 1: finally decided to go through this process. There's I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's been a range of emotions. You know. It's like

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Speaker 1: I think the second that I said I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: this was the most empowered I've probably felt in my life.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't have to wait to find the perfect relationship.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to my life doesn't have to line

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Speaker 1: up a certain way that's written down on paper, Like

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Speaker 1: I have the options. I'm taking my power in my life.

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Speaker 1: And you know, it just feels like you're sort of

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Speaker 1: like doing something for yourself and being really responsible and

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Speaker 1: owning your power like I'm a woman hearing me more

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Speaker 1: more kind of thing, like I can do this, like

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Speaker 1: not like well, I mean I was just about to

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Speaker 1: say that sounds a little like I don't need a man.

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Speaker 1: I want a man, you know, Like I want to

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Speaker 1: have a family, and I definitely still as independent as

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Speaker 1: I am, have very traditional ideas of like a life

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Speaker 1: that I want with a family. I just do. I

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Speaker 1: love that, Like that's what I want. Um, but it

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Speaker 1: just life is just weird and you don't know what

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing or how it's going to

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Speaker 1: work out. And so like setting myself up to get

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Speaker 1: the things that I want felt so empowering, you know. Um.

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Speaker 1: Since I've been doing it, it it's brought up a

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Speaker 1: lot of grief for me oddly, like it's very um.

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Speaker 1: There are days where I feel super empowered and I'm

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Speaker 1: like I'm going to take over the world, you know,

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Speaker 1: And there's days where I'm like, this is really hard

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Speaker 1: to do by yourself. And I wish that I had

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Speaker 1: a support of a partner right now that was in

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Speaker 1: this with me and walking through this and I was

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Speaker 1: doing it for us, and so he was like you

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Speaker 1: got this, babe, you know, like that kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: I've felt that a lot. I've really really grieved that

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Speaker 1: in my life. Luckily for me, I have a wonderful

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Speaker 1: support system and a lot of amazing women around me

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Speaker 1: who have gone through similar things, and so they've been

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Speaker 1: able to kind of like give me that support that

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Speaker 1: I need. But yeah, it's it's I mean, it is

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Speaker 1: definitely like not for the faint of heart. It's like,

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Speaker 1: women are fucking I say this all the time right now,

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Speaker 1: but women are fucking warriors. Like to be able to

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Speaker 1: go to work and do all of this stuff physically

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Speaker 1: and like take on this undertaking and the emotional capacity

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Speaker 1: of what hormones due to your body and then like

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Speaker 1: the grief that it could bring up or anything that

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Speaker 1: it could bring up for you. It's fucking hard. But like,

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Speaker 1: how amazing that we can do hard things. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's incredible. It was funny. This is a little off topic,

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Speaker 1: but I was with some friends last night and we

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Speaker 1: were talking about like that what like little ships we

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Speaker 1: were to our mom's. Like my mom worked full time.

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Speaker 1: She would come home, but she would cook dinner and

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Speaker 1: we'd be like, this is disgusting, We're an asshole. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she probably like in hindsight, like cried herself to sleep

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Speaker 1: that night, you know, but she loved us so much

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Speaker 1: that she would never let us see that pain, right,

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Speaker 1: And of course, like if I knew that I was

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Speaker 1: causing my mother that kind of pain, I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: said it, like I was just being a kid. Or

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Speaker 1: if you had known the day your mom had and

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Speaker 1: then cooked you, you would have been like whatever you

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Speaker 1: put on my plate, you know, like you just as

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Speaker 1: a kid, you don't know that kind of stuff. But

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Speaker 1: and honestly, like I don't know that I fully grasped

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Speaker 1: what women go through, like with pregnancy and like just

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Speaker 1: all of it. It's a lot, and we are not

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Speaker 1: in this world of like I mean, there's you know,

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Speaker 1: some women don't work and that's fine, but it's still hard.

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Speaker 1: I don't care who you are, and um, a lot

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Speaker 1: of women work, and so you still have all like

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Speaker 1: life responsibilities, a job, all this stuff, and your body

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Speaker 1: is making a human being, Like what the fun? And

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Speaker 1: then think about people with twins and triplets in their

355
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Speaker 1: bodies that end up on bed rest for five months.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh my god, I know being told you

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Speaker 1: had to lay in bed for five months. No, because

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Speaker 1: I've had to basically do that for a month like

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Speaker 1: on and off, and like it's it's so difficult it's

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00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 1: so frustrating, it's so emotional. Yeah, part of me wish

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Speaker 1: I could lay down for a month and taking exactly

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Speaker 1: until like until you have to do it. It sounds

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00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 1: ideal and then you're like, Okay, I've watched as much

364
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Speaker 1: Netflix as I possibly can. Plus life goes on and

365
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:23,040
Speaker 1: like all of your responsibilities are still there. Um, So

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Speaker 1: has it been scari or painful? Um? I think the

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Speaker 1: scariest part was like the unknown. So this round, okay,

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Speaker 1: now I take that back. The first round was scary

369
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Speaker 1: because I didn't know, and so it was like that

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Speaker 1: unknown feeling of like, um, what is it going to

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Speaker 1: feel like to give myself shots? What is that gonna

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Speaker 1: How are the hormones going to affect my body? This

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Speaker 1: time was scary, um for different reasons, because you know,

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Speaker 1: I knew a lot more so I felt comforted in like, Okay,

375
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Speaker 1: I know what that's going to feel like with the hormones,

376
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Speaker 1: although I didn't because they put me on more and

377
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 1: it was a little different, but like I kind of

378
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Speaker 1: knew how I would react, um, and like I would

379
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 1: need more sleep. I tried to set myself up a

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00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 1: little better. Couldn't work as much, you know, blah blah

381
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Speaker 1: blah um, and then I knew what the shots would

382
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 1: feel like, which are not fun, but they're doable. Like

383
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: it's a tiny needle and it's I'm doing I'm about

384
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Speaker 1: to do four times a day, which is not fun,

385
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 1: but I think some people only do twice, and like

386
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 1: it's doable, you know. Um. It's scary for different reasons though,

387
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 1: because I had to cancel the last round, and so

388
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, is this gonna work for me? And am

389
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 1: I doing this for nothing? Like those are the scary

390
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 1: things I think. Like I'm going to Chicago and actually

391
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: flying out after we do this podcast, and I'm going

392
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 1: to have my first ultrasound, and I think I'm going

393
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: to feel a lot less scared and a little more

394
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Speaker 1: peaceful if I have a positive ultrasound, you know, like

395
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: once I get more into the shop process and they're

396
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: like Okay, hey, this is going well and like oh,

397
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,159
Speaker 1: here's how many follicles and those kind of things, I

398
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,679
Speaker 1: think that will take some of the fear away. But

399
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,639
Speaker 1: if you're in it and you're like doing all this

400
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: stuff to your body and your body, you can kind

401
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 1: of react kind of crazy. Sometimes you're just like what

402
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 1: if I'm doing this for nothing, you know, and that's scary. Yeah. Um,

403
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 1: but I think you know, like you touched on this earlier,

404
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 1: like you're doing it for for answers really like ultimately,

405
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: you're doing it in the hopes that you're going to

406
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 1: have to be able to have your own child. But

407
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 1: if the answer that you get through this process is

408
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 1: that it's not possible for you to have a child,

409
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 1: then then I look at other options. Exactly. I don't

410
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: think I answered the painful part, did I? Um? Not really? Okay?

411
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, So with the medicine, like the hormones,

412
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Speaker 1: I've had to do progesterone to testosterone and estrogen and

413
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 1: it's not painful. It makes the testosterone I went through

414
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 1: like it kind of makes your body mimic early pregnancy.

415
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 1: So I literally would get morning sickness like I was

416
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: puking and whatever. And then I kind of figured out

417
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 1: ways to balance it out, like I need to eat

418
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 1: right when I wake up. I can't have coffee on

419
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 1: an empty stomach, you know, Like you just started to

420
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,640
Speaker 1: figure out different things. So that was okay. Progestra makes

421
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: you feel tired as hell, Like it is just exhausting

422
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: and that's where that brain fog stuff I've been talking about.

423
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 1: That's what I feel is just like I'm like here,

424
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: but I'm not here kind of thing, you know. Um so,

425
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: but it's not painful. It's just sort of like ick.

426
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 1: And that's it's anytime I think, you know, like okay,

427
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 1: I just have to do this for four weeks, like

428
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 1: I can, you can. You can kind of suffer through

429
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: it and like if you have an end goal, it's

430
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,400
Speaker 1: like I can do anything for that amount of time,

431
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: like I'll be okay there you know this two shot

432
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: pass um. The shots. One of the shots that I

433
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 1: have to do burns a little bit, like when the

434
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 1: medicine goes in. But again, all of the shots are

435
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 1: tiny needles and you put them in your stomach. Um.

436
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,719
Speaker 1: It's not fun by any means, but it's doable. Like

437
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 1: it's it's smaller than a botox needle. And I love

438
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: when those needles go in. So, but it must have

439
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 1: been hard the first time. They're like, well, here you go,

440
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: give yourself a shot. Like some of them you have

441
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,359
Speaker 1: to like mix up a concoction yourself. And I was like,

442
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die because I'm going to suck this up,

443
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 1: like I but you figure it out. And I don't

444
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: know that there's a way to like super fuck it

445
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 1: up or they probably wouldn't let you do it yourself. Um.

446
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, Like honestly, this morning when I woke up,

447
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 1: I was like, you just like kind of because you

448
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: know what it's going to feel like, and you're just like, blah,

449
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: it's not what you feel like going to do, but

450
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: you just do it. You take a deep breath and

451
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: you just fucking do it. It's a millisecond of pain.

452
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: It is a millisecond of pain. But again, if you

453
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 1: want me to hate on men for a second, if

454
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 1: y'all had to do it, I would. I mean I

455
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: just feel like I would hear about it all, you know,

456
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: like it's just yeah, but women can do it. So

457
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: how long is the process from start to finish? Okay,

458
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 1: so a month of priming hormones is what I've done. Again,

459
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: I don't think everyone has to do that. Um, and

460
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,879
Speaker 1: then I'm about to do shots for two weeks and

461
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: then you do the procedure and then you do a

462
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: pill that kind of brings your body back to getting

463
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 1: a period because all the stuff that you do takes

464
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: that away, and so that for me, the last REALND

465
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: was about fourteen days. And the weird thing about once

466
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,120
Speaker 1: you start the shots and then once you're on that

467
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: pill until you get your period, you can't work out,

468
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: you can't um have sex, like, you can't do a

469
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 1: lot of physical activity because it expands your ovaries, like

470
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 1: it just blows them up so that they can go

471
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 1: in and get the eggs, and so your ovaries can

472
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: get twisted. So like if someone said to me, like, oh, well,

473
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: you can still do like yoga, and I'm like, actually,

474
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,640
Speaker 1: that's the worst thing you can do because any sort

475
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: of weird position could twist your ovaries and then you

476
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 1: would have to have surgery. So I'm not trying to

477
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 1: have another surgery with this stuff. So I just I

478
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 1: don't exercise, um, which is a little bit of a

479
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: buzz kill, But again you're just like, this is a

480
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 1: short period of time. Probably adds to your tiredness too,

481
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 1: it does. And I think the weird thing is is

482
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 1: like your body changes. This is the closest I've ever

483
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,159
Speaker 1: had to like go experience what it would be like

484
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: to be pregnant. Um. But it's a weird thing because

485
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 1: you know, like who are my only you're off and

486
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: so you don't feel your best, like I'm not, like, oh,

487
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm just like some sex maniac, Like I feel so

488
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 1: sexy right now, I feel so not sexy. Um, and

489
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 1: your body is changing. I haven't had energy to work out,

490
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: so I really haven't worked out for like a month.

491
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 1: And I didn't realize how much weight I put into

492
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: like my physical body, you know, Like I've just always

493
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: been very active, I've always worked out, I've always eating healthy,

494
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:27,879
Speaker 1: so I've been in shape, and like clothes fit me

495
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: a certain way and I've felt fine about it. I

496
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: didn't I didn't really have a concept of that, and

497
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 1: now like clothes don't fit me the same way, and

498
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: I don't feel the same way. Like I didn't realize

499
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 1: how much weight that can put on how you feel

500
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: about yourself. So I've had to really start shifting. Like,

501
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: but think about what your body is doing, like it's

502
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: doing something really amazing right now, and like really trying

503
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: to love myself from that aspect versus like the pressure

504
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 1: that I put on my physical appearance. Appearance. I feel

505
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: like that makes me sound so shallow, but that's just

506
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: the truth. Well, yeah, I mean it's like I definitely

507
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: know like truly pregnant women who like struggle with gaining weight,

508
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: and then some women are like fuck it, I'm eating

509
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: for two and then don't care. So it's two extremes.

510
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, um, yes, and it feels I think it

511
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: feels weird because you feel almost like your body is

512
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: not your own. Like it's like my body is doing

513
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 1: something right now that is awesome, but it's also pumped

514
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 1: full of all these things that I would never actually

515
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: put in my body. So that feels weird, Like I'm

516
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: so weird about medicine and weird stuff. Um, but I've

517
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: had to just really lean into it, like that's okay,

518
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 1: and like this in the grand scheme of your life

519
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: is a short period of time that is so worth

520
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 1: it and so beautiful that you can even have this option. Um. So,

521
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 1: in order for retrieval to be successful, how many eggs

522
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 1: do you need to retrieve? My doctor keeps saying they

523
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: would love like fifteen to twenty because the deal is

524
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: is it's a numbers game, Like, so you go in,

525
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: you retrieve these eggs and they freeze them. And I

526
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: think this answer is one of the next questions too,

527
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: But they freeze them. They don't test anything. They they're

528
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 1: they're not like they don't know if they're healthy eggs

529
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:21,400
Speaker 1: or like quality eggs or if they're not. So when

530
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,400
Speaker 1: you find that out is when you go back in

531
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: and you're trying to make an embryo later, so when

532
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 1: you have the sperm to and so and they can

533
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 1: test also then for like um, chromosome issues or anything

534
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 1: like that. So like you want when did they test

535
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: the viability at that point? At that point, so like

536
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 1: when I go in, say I get uh six eggs

537
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: or something, Um, they won't know anything about those eggs

538
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 1: until it later when I want to use them. So

539
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 1: it's scared. That's another that's a fear part for sure. Um,

540
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 1: so you want as many as you possibly could get,

541
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 1: which is why they say, like so if I'm only

542
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: able to get six this first round or something, that

543
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: I might want to do an other one just to

544
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: have like a higher number of options, you know. Like

545
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 1: I saw Amy Schumer post something because she's been doing IVF.

546
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: She got thirties six eggs or something insane and one

547
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: of them turned into an embryo, which was actually like

548
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: super discouraging when I read that. But everyone's body is

549
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 1: so different. And I've really been researching on how to

550
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: like have better quality eggs. There's a book called It

551
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 1: Starts with the Egg and it's all about the diet

552
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: and um, the other things you're putting in your body beforehand,

553
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: and so like hopefully you can get a better round,

554
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: like not even just numbers wise, like quantity wise, but

555
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: quality wise, because that's actually what matters. And it only

556
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: takes one. It only takes one. Only takes one. I

557
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: answer that question. And you touched on the viability and

558
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: um missing chromosomes. So that was a question that someone

559
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: had post. Oh yeah, so you were saying the number

560
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: the more, the better, the more. Yeah. So you mentioned

561
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: that Amy Shummer shown IVF. What's the difference between freezing

562
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: your eggs and IVF? So freezing your eggs is actually

563
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: just the first part of IVF. So instead of like

564
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: what she's doing is she did what I did, and

565
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 1: then they made it into an embryo and then started

566
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: it back inside of her or I guess she I

567
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: guess she got it and started back already. Um, but

568
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 1: I'm just doing the first part, which is just to

569
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: take the eggs out, and then I'm freezing them because

570
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:27,639
Speaker 1: I'm not actually ready to have a child. Yetta, Okay,

571
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: So is like in vitro fertilization, right, I mean it's

572
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: fertilizing the exactly. It's just the first half of IVF,

573
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: which is why Like IVF is like thirty dollars. So

574
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: it's like, that's why, that's why this is fifteen because

575
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: it's just the first part and so then when you

576
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: go back later to make it into an embryo, it's

577
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: another fifteen thousand or whatever. Start saving those fifty ship man,

578
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: I'm all over it. So, um, let's talk concerns. Are

579
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,959
Speaker 1: there any long term, long term concerns with you shooting

580
00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: yourself full of these hormones and stuff. Well, that was

581
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: a huge thing for me because I am super clean normally,

582
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: I hate taking medicine. I don't take birth control. I'm

583
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 1: very like I like to keep I mean, it's very

584
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: important to me to keep my hormones regulated. Like I've

585
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: had um stuff where they're off in the past, and

586
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: that's like, you know, caused me to be extra tires.

587
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: So I see this natural doctor Dr Motley. I've actually

588
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: done a podcast with him too. He's amazing. He's a

589
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: chiropractor kinesiologist, and he helps me to keep everything regulated.

590
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: So I've already been like before I even knew I

591
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: was doing this, very in tune with like keeping hormones regulated.

592
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: I've never done birth control because I didn't once it

593
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: made me feel like shit, and so I just try

594
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: to keep all that normal. And so that was a

595
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: huge concern of mine going into this, Like it's it's

596
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 1: like literally the opposite of everything else I do in

597
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: my life. But um, I've started also researching, and there's

598
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: a lot of like different diets and stuff that people

599
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 1: do once they get off of the stuff to try

600
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: to get them like back in. And I mean, sure,

601
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: I don't have the like it like up the risk

602
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 1: for breast cancer later or something. I mean I think

603
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: anytime you're fucking with your hormones, it's bad like that,

604
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: you know, like of course it could. But to me,

605
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: the there was no like proof that freezing your eggs

606
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: does that women do it all the time, and the

607
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: option of freezing my eggs was, you know, a better

608
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: option for me than um not. So I just decided

609
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 1: to take that chance. And like I'd know a ton

610
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: of women who have done it, and they're completely fine.

611
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 1: So I don't want to see you grow on a

612
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 1: beard though, that's what everyone keeps me like, have you

613
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: started talking like this? Do you have any hair on

614
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: your chest yet? With that testosteron? No? But like I

615
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: will say, I'm like a fucking piste off all the time.

616
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 1: As you can tell, I'm like, let's talk more about

617
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: men where um, so let's sort of take it back

618
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: to the very beginning advice on choosing a doctor. Okay,

619
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 1: this is actually a great topic for me because people

620
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 1: keep being like, why are you one of Chicago? So

621
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: I did go to a cility clinic and Nashville there's

622
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: actually only one and they're great, Like, I have nothing

623
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: bad to say about them at all. For me, my

624
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: experience was going to that. It was the Nashville fertility Clinic.

625
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: They worked with so many people or whatever, but I

626
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: would be sitting in the lobby with like couples of

627
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: are like to a couple that was pregnant, and I

628
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 1: just felt super isolated, you know. And so I found

629
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: out about this company because honestly, one of the nurses

630
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: was on The Bachelor Whitney if anyone watched Chris soul season,

631
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: and I knew that she had done this, and so

632
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: I kind of had heard about this company because people

633
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: like Caitlin Bristow and a couple other people had done

634
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: it and they've talked about it, and um, I became

635
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 1: very intrigued because they only do egg fertilization. It's also

636
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: a company that was started by women, Like it's all

637
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: the people that work there are women, and it just

638
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: feels very like, you know, if you're going into this

639
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 1: as an empowering thing, it felt very empowered to me

640
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 1: and very like they're super hands on. They've been there,

641
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: most of them have in their eggs, and so it

642
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: just felt right like it's a very boutique situation where

643
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 1: they know what it's like, they can relate, they're there

644
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: for you and it's only egg freezing. Also, the doctor there,

645
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 1: and this is something I can recommend everyone. The doctor there,

646
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: his rate of actual births and pregnancies was extremely high,

647
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: Like he's won a bunch of awards for that, Like

648
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: he's in the top you know, percentile of that, and

649
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: so that matters. You don't want to just like go

650
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: into this and freeze your eggs and not know about

651
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 1: your doctor's success rate. So that would be one of

652
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: the biggest things that I would recommend to people to

653
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: look into, like how many like births have they actually

654
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: had from this process? And OVA, which is where I'm

655
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: going in Chicago, has had a very high percent. And

656
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: so that was like it sold me. That was the

657
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: final straw of why I did it. There, research your doctors,

658
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: Research your doctors, and find the place that like feels

659
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: writes to you, because like I said, you're not in

660
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: your best state, Like it's like kind of a fragile

661
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 1: time in your life. And so when I go up there,

662
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 1: anytime I go into the office, like these women make

663
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 1: me feel so calm about everything, and that's just super

664
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 1: important to me. It's like the experience of it, you know,

665
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: and like knowing that a lot of them have done

666
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 1: it and there they a lot of them have kids

667
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: from it. I mean that's super motivating and it's like, Okay,

668
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: like this can happen, this can work, And I need

669
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,720
Speaker 1: that extra push right now because I think if I was,

670
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: you know, in another situation, it might not be as

671
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: inspiring to me. Right And you're also vulnerable, you're on

672
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: the emotional state because of the hormone. Yes, you need

673
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: that comfort. So We've asked all the questions that um

674
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: your followers or readers or whatever listeners, but I had

675
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: one question that is there a second act for any

676
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: of these eggs? So say you get pregnant naturally, or

677
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: a woman who's frozen a bunch of eggs passes away

678
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: and expect are you trying to get my eggs? No,

679
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: I'm just like how much they call rude? But now

680
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: is there a like is there a use for these

681
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: eggs that might not be used? Like, that's a great question.

682
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,399
Speaker 1: I've actually thought about that. I haven't even been able

683
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: to go there mentally because I'm just like, just get

684
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 1: the eggs, you know, Like I'm more concerned about that

685
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: part right now. But I think about that. I'm like,

686
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: I know in their egg bank, they probably have a

687
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: ton of eggs just sitting around. And like, my other

688
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 1: thought is because this is just how my life has

689
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 1: worked in the universe, is always up to something. I'm like,

690
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: I just know I'm gonna go through this, and this

691
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: is going to be a sort of like growth experience

692
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 1: for me or some sort of strength building, you know,

693
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 1: like bring Kelly to the next level of who she

694
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 1: needs to be kind of thing. Um, and then I'm

695
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 1: gonna get pregnant naturally, you know, like it's just I'm

696
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 1: gonna go through all this stuff and then probably just

697
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: get knocked up, which would be great. But then, like,

698
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: what about the eggs, Like you're saying, I don't know,

699
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: I've thought about it. I'm could I donate them? You know?

700
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: I mean, is that even an option? Is what I'm

701
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: curious about. And were reading a story about a family,

702
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: a couple that did in vitro and they they weren't

703
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: ready to have the babies yet, but they fertilized, but

704
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: they had an agreement between the two of them. And

705
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is something that the clinic

706
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: makes you do or if this is something they just

707
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: decided to do that if they ended their marriage, neither

708
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 1: of them could use the fertilized eggs without the permission

709
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: of the other party. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like because

710
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: then you're bringing a child into the world that someone

711
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,960
Speaker 1: else is responsible for, but you're not married any longer.

712
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: And the woman wanted to have the kids, and it

713
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,839
Speaker 1: was devastating because the court stood by the contract and said,

714
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:43,280
Speaker 1: you signed this contract. So they get divorced. Yeah, they

715
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 1: end up getting divorced, and she wanted to go ahead

716
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 1: and have a baby and he wouldn't. The only way

717
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: that she could have a baby of her own now,

718
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: because she had reached an age where she didn't have

719
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: my legs, was to do use one of those, and

720
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: the court wouldn't let her do it. So I'm just wondering.

721
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: This is a lesson, do not fertilize your eggs until

722
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 1: you know that you want to have the kid. Then well,

723
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 1: the other thing about that that the reason they probably

724
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: did it is because, um, the viability is better if

725
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,399
Speaker 1: they are fertilized. If they're already fertilized, like I guess,

726
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: they freeze better, like it can maintain better, because like

727
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: there is a chance if you're just doing the egg

728
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: that you know when you take them out, some of them,

729
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know the right terminology, but

730
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: some of them are correct scrambled. This is just just

731
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: trying to make glad of it. I don't know. Um,

732
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: but yeah, so like I know your chances are higher

733
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: if you go ahead and fertilize. Well, then the lesson

734
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: here is make sure your contract says I get to

735
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: keep these babies either way. Anyway, I hope that I've

736
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 1: helped answer a lot of you guys questions. You can

737
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: always message me at Velvet's Edge on Instagram or at

738
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 1: info at velvet's Edge dot com. Um sorry too if

739
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: us sounded a little I feel like I was kind

740
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: of like, wat want. I think this is a great experience,

741
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: Like I right now, I want so many fucking hormones,

742
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 1: and I think that it's hard and I don't want

743
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: to lie about that, but like, it's also amazing, you know,

744
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 1: and the fact that we can do this and technology

745
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: has given us this, it's insane and it's amazing, and

746
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: it does open up the world just so many possibilities

747
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:21,359
Speaker 1: for women because you can build your career, you can

748
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: make the life you want, and you can still have

749
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 1: babies like you just don't have to do it on

750
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,919
Speaker 1: the timelines we've been held to in the past, which

751
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: is amazing. Well, I think there's a lot of those

752
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: timelines weren't about women being able to carry babies. It

753
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: was about the viability of eggs, but science didn't know

754
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: that yet. Now we're at a place where we know

755
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 1: it's truly about viable eggs versus viable womb. Because older

756
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: women making carry babies right, So yeah, so do what's

757
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,320
Speaker 1: right for you, do your research, and if there's anything

758
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,879
Speaker 1: I can help anybody with, please feel free to reach

759
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 1: out at Velvet's Edge. I will keep you guys posted.

760
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 1: I'm heading to Chicago to note, so fingers crossed for

761
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 1: some good news and hopefully I'll be back to my

762
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: normal self soon and we can be back to podcasting regularly. Yeah,

763
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: do you have anything chip, You're just I'm just like

764
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 1: worried why I can't do my eggs. I think they

765
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: figured that out. Thank you guys for listening and I'll

766
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: be back soon with an update. This is Kelly Henderson

767
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: and you've been listening to the Velvet Edge podcast. I

768
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,240
Speaker 1: truly believe that every one of us has a little

769
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: velvet and a little edge, so it's so important to

770
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: remember that to be strong, you must be soft too.

771
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing in those stories with me.

772
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: You can follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter,

773
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 1: as well as velvets edge dot com. If you haven't yet,

774
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: go to Apple Podcast and subscribe, rate and review this podcast.

775
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: Join me every Wednesday for more conversations on lifestyle, beauty,

776
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: and relationships. Thanks for listening,