1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,000 Speaker 1: I hid my girlfriend's dead husband's ring. Now she wants space. 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 2: Why would she ever want that? 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: Why would she ever want that? Huh? I thirty two 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: male have been with my girlfriend, will call her down 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:18,280 Speaker 1: thirty female for just under a year. Some helpful context. 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: She was married at twenty four. Her husband died two 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 1: years ago. 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: Dude, that would be a o oh tough. I think 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: I could see it breaking, Dawn. 10 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: I thought you were just being like NiFe got me. 11 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: Since his passing, she moved to my city and we 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,319 Speaker 1: are now planning for me to move in with her 13 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: when my lease is up in the fall. I stay 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: there a minimum of four days a week currently, why 15 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: not make it seven? Uh? By the way, this comes 16 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: from Throat the Feather on the arsash ooka storytime. 17 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,839 Speaker 2: Supreddit samiliar stories there, samniar. 18 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: Stories do it do it? Don's late husband passed in 19 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: a work related accident. That is horrible. Two others also passed. 20 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: A few more were injured. 21 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 2: Oh my god, my goodness. I hope like you had 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 2: a lawsuit or something. Yeah, I mean, like, why are 23 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 2: they all passing? Like some like really pale people moved 24 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: to the city and and run really fast. 25 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: This guy, I want that one's been there though. 26 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 2: Ah, what's a quote from that movie? I never saw Bella? 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: The hell have you been Loka? I've only seen the 28 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: first one? 29 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 2: Is that? Is that? Is that? What is that? Something 30 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 2: that was said? 31 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a that's a quote. That's a famous quote 32 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: from what I understand. It took her some time to heal. Understandably, 33 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,319 Speaker 1: she met a few other people for dates before me, 34 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: but I'm the only one she's connected with over time. 35 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: Part of her healing has been a form of downsizing. 36 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: She still has photos with him online and a lot 37 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: of physical photo albums, but the only major thing on 38 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: display are a stuffed animal he got her, which sits 39 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: on her headboard and display on her fireplace mantle, one 40 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: of those digital photo frames of photos, a threefold frame 41 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: with a photo from his proposal hidden photographer, a photo 42 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: from their engagement shoot, and a wedding photo his ashes, 43 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: their wedding rings, and his engagement. 44 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 2: On the mantle on the mantle. And how long has 45 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 2: she been married? Now? 46 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: It's been two years since he passed, been two years 47 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: since she passed. This is their dating They've been dating 48 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: for under eyear. Oh that's I think that's fair mine. Yeah, 49 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: she still has her engagement ring and wears it on 50 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: a chain. Donnas always loved the Harvest Moon series and 51 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: has always wanted her engagement ring to incorporate a blue feather, 52 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: which is what you use to propose in the game. 53 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,239 Speaker 1: Her late husband customize a beautiful ring with the sapphire 54 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: feather on it, and his engagement ring also had one. 55 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: I was mostly fine with her wearing it until I 56 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: started attending work related events with her. Her job is 57 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: somewhat political and has a lot of networking events. 58 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 2: Oh, I see you, I see you. She's gonna be 59 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 2: talking about her late husband more than her current boyfriend. 60 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: Or they're gonna think that she's married. 61 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 2: Is she wearing Oh, she's wearing her webs. 62 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: Oh, it's on, she's wearing on a band. 63 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 2: But you don't think someone's married when they're wearing a 64 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 2: ring or on. 65 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: The Maybe that's I'm just putting ICUs. 66 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: I have you wait, wait really quick, I hold the phone. 67 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 2: When someone wears a ring on a necklace, are you thinking, oh, 68 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 2: they could be married? No, okay, I'm not. 69 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: Doesn't Christian wear a ring up and he's not married? 70 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: Her friends know why the ring is important and mine 71 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: learned over time, but almost every networking event someone asks 72 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,120 Speaker 1: about it, and she always tells them it was the 73 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: engagement ring from her late husband. It made me uneasy 74 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: to hear it so often, but I was fine until 75 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: I wasn't. I don't mind people knowing she was married before, 76 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 1: but I guess every time people ask her about it, 77 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: it made me feel like I was her second choice. 78 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: I asked her to stop wearing it. Seeing it and 79 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: hearing about it was starting to get to me. 80 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 2: I can understand being uncomfortable with that, Like I feel 81 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 2: like if I was maybe like I don't even know 82 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 2: how I would feel, honestly, but I could understand being 83 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 2: like feeling some sort of way. But you can never 84 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 2: I can't ask that. You either have to like become 85 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 2: okay with. 86 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: It or if you're not with that. 87 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 2: You can't be like, yeah, like can you get rid 88 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 2: of that guy? 89 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? Uh no, I because it's been two years. Two 90 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: years is not that much time. 91 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 2: Okay, says controversial take. Late husband is more important than 92 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: current boyfriend in my opinion. Yeah, yeah, she was remarried, 93 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,560 Speaker 2: that's different. But a boyfriend is not the same as 94 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 2: a late husband. 95 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: They've been dating for under a year, he'd I don't 96 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: think he has a right to make those demands. 97 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 2: I completely agree he. 98 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: Has a right to not, you know, uh not be 99 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: okay with it and want a lead relationship. 100 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, he can, he can leave, I just but I 101 00:04:55,680 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 2: do think that uh, I do think it's probably it's 102 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 2: an uncomfortable thing to be like committed to a person 103 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 2: and them talking about like another partner, even if that 104 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: partner passed away. Kimberly says it's valid, but it's a 105 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: him project. 106 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, I think if he like, he's allowed 107 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: to not be able to deal with that. 108 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:21,799 Speaker 2: Question for Yousefhia slightly toes Honestly, if she's still wearing 109 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 2: it all the time, he's not ready to date. 110 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: I think maybe there is a chance she's not ready 111 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: to date. But is that true? Think it's a separate 112 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. 113 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 3: Is she grieved enough, given herself enough to Two years 114 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 3: is a a long amount of time. How long were 115 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,040 Speaker 3: they together before he died? 116 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: That's a good question, and never. 117 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 3: Together for ten years, there's only been two. 118 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: But I think it's a separate issue from him. 119 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 2: No, it is, but I guess like that that's a question. 120 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's an indicator of her. I 121 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:57,480 Speaker 2: would say, no, it's not an indicator of her, of 122 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 2: her readiness. The issue is like, the thing that makes 123 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 2: him uncomfortable is actually not her wearing it, it's her 124 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 2: talking about it when he's present. 125 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 3: So it's like, maybe, yeah, my first choice is dead, 126 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 3: but I got this guy. 127 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, got back up. 128 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 4: I was probably thinking that, Yeah, it was a constant 129 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 4: reminder that in her ideal life he would still be 130 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 4: here and she wouldn't even know me. 131 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 1: We compromised she would still wear it out except for 132 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: events where people didn't know the story and were likely to. 133 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 2: Ask okay, it's a fair compromise. 134 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, And Kim Kwan says, I disagree. She can be 135 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: ready to date and still not ready to not have 136 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: the ring on her. 137 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 2: I agree. I agree with that. I agree with that. 138 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,039 Speaker 1: Fast forward to last week. We had an event with 139 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: a blue color scheme and she had a beautiful blue dress. 140 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: Normally she wears a bracelet, ear rings, and necklace, but 141 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 1: this time she had a bracelet and just a bracelet 142 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: and earrings, So I asked why before we left, she 143 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: didn't have any other necklaces that went with the earrings, 144 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: so I told her to wear the engagement one if 145 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: she wanted. Sure enough, someone not only asked about the ring, 146 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: but continued the conversation, whereas normally the subject changes once 147 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: they find out her husband passed away. The person asked 148 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: what kind of ring Dawn would want if she remarried. 149 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: Whoa weird question, asked somebody you don't know. 150 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: I mean, it's a it is a pretty deep question. 151 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: That's a pretty deep question to ask someone. 152 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 2: You don't know. 153 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, And she said she wasn't sure whatever I thought 154 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: suited her as long as the band was silver. I 155 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: felt my stomach drop. It hurt to know her old 156 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: ring had such a special meaning and was something she 157 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: always wanted, but now it didn't matter to her at all. 158 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 2: Well, maybe she just didn't want to tell someone to random. 159 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe she was like, ah, this is a really 160 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: personal question. I'm not going to get into it with 161 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: someone I don't know. 162 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. 163 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: This scenario where that is I wouldn't I don't know. 164 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, as you guys know, I'm an open book. 165 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 2: If someone asked me the deepest, darkest question, I would 166 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 2: probably just say, hey, it but that's not everyone that's 167 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: not everyone, and so I would I would probably venture 168 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 2: to say that she's just not wanting to talk about it. 169 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just starting to get like that, what you 170 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 3: just never asked me a question? I'll answer it. 171 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, I I I actually prefer living life 172 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 2: with uh with like all of my information on my sleeve. 173 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 3: Like this morning, I like really opened up. 174 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 1: Oh god, we didn't want him to know, dud I 175 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: was eating. I was eating. 176 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 2: I was eating literally made me gag this morning. 177 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: I threw out my food. 178 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 2: God. 179 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: The next morning, I confronted her and she pulled me 180 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: in the new game. In the newer games, there's a 181 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: special flower to propose, and I could incorporate that, but 182 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 1: I felt like she was appeasing me. 183 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 2: But really quick, why are they It's on you for first. First, 184 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 2: don't over over index on this random conversation with a stranger. Yeah. Two, 185 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 2: it's on you to find something meaningful that you can 186 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 2: like put into jewelry. It's not onlike I don't. 187 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: I also don't think that the first guy. It didn't 188 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: read as if she was saying, oh, I want this 189 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: as my ring. He thought about what she liked as 190 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: a person and then made her a very meaningful ring exactly. 191 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 2: You know, so I think he's I think he's he's 192 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 2: not thinking about it, right. 193 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: And also he can't get mad about her wearing the 194 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: ring because he said that was okay exactly, he said, oh, 195 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,559 Speaker 1: you should wear the ring. He told her to wear 196 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: the ring. 197 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,599 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well he can still like have feelings around it, 198 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 2: but he like he can't blame her for anything. 199 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. 200 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, at the end of this, we need a 201 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 3: golden rule for this situation. 202 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 2: A golden rule for wearing dating for yeah, dating after 203 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 2: your partner dies. Yeah. Yeah. 204 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: I'm not sure what came over me, but when Don 205 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: was in the shower that afternoon, I took the ring 206 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: from the sink. No, she's normally very careful with it, 207 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: keeping it in the box, on the mantle when she 208 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 1: wasn't when she isn't wearing it, and on the edge 209 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: of the sink where she when she showers. She always 210 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: keeps the plug in the sink in case her cat 211 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: knocks it into the thak. 212 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 2: Oh God, I see you, I see you. 213 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 1: The door had been open about halfway and the shower's foggy. 214 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: I'm certain she didn't see me reach in or unplucked. 215 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 2: No, you were doing okay up until this point. This 216 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 2: is so bad. You saw this. This is a relationship 217 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 2: ender right here, This is a relationship ender. 218 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: After she dried off, she went to grab the chain 219 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: and immediately freaked out. I feigned helping her look for 220 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: it and told her I would probably turn up. You 221 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: know what, this guy's not like you, Sam, because when 222 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: I thought that I dropped my necklace in the sink, 223 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: Stam helped me, and he spent like, I don't know, 224 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes trying to get that out of the sink, 225 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,679 Speaker 1: and then he realized it was on the floor. 226 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 2: I did find it. I was trying to make a 227 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 2: makeshift hook. 228 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 229 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 2: Well but this guy, but little did you know I 230 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 2: put it in the sink to get with Ah. 231 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,199 Speaker 1: It wasn't even the sink though, I know. Oh okay. 232 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: The next day, before work all she looked exhausted and 233 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: told me she got up early to look for it. 234 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,439 Speaker 1: But she was a mess, and I'm not sure she slept. 235 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,880 Speaker 1: We both went to work. When I got home, the 236 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: place was spotless and she was crying. She came home 237 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: from work stick. She does have an anxiety disorder, and 238 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,320 Speaker 1: in retrospect, probably felt physically ill at work, lipped the 239 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: place upside down, cleaning, vacuuming and then going through the 240 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: container and even snaking the drain. My intention was to 241 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: give her the chain back that night and pretend I 242 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: found it somewhere, in hopes it would get her to 243 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: leave the ring on the mantle. But there was no 244 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 1: way I could pretend it was anywhere, not the way 245 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 1: she searched. So I took it out of my wallet 246 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: and fessed up. She was inconsolable and told me to 247 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: go home. I tried texting and and she told me 248 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 1: she needed space. 249 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 2: Dude, you're done. 250 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: You're done. They were supposed to move in together. 251 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 2: You're so done. 252 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: You're stupid. Also, you're dumb, and you're done. 253 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:18,319 Speaker 2: You're so done. At least it seems like he knows 254 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 2: what he did is bad. 255 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: Wow, at least he feels guilty. 256 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 2: At least he feels guilty. Psycho so bad, says he 257 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 2: is yucky, yucky. Not only did he pray her, but 258 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 2: he lied to her and prayed on her disorder. Yeah yeah. 259 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: Also, not only did he just take it and make 260 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: her think she lost it, but he unplugged the drain, 261 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: so it looked like she dropped down the drain, so 262 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: she had to snake the drain, which and then she 263 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: had Yeah truly, just. 264 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 2: Dude, Yeah, I think you're you're you're cooked, You're cooked, cooked, cooked. 265 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: Last weekend, I went to a barbecue cooked at our friends, 266 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: my friends originally well not anymore, and she was supposed 267 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: to attend with me. She did text me that morning 268 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,080 Speaker 1: and told me to tell people I was sick, but 269 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: they noticed my demeanor eventually and I told them the story. 270 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: Results were mixed. I'd say about half our friends took 271 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: her side fairly quickly. 272 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: I wonder, why, how would you how would anyone take 273 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 2: your side? I don't understand. 274 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: Just yeah. One guy did say I set a boundary 275 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 1: and she should have known that I didn't that I 276 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: didn't really mean it when I said she could wear it. 277 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 2: Okay, dude, I hate that you're an idiot. 278 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: Your friend sucks too. 279 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 2: Sorry, I shouldn't be so mean, but it's like, but 280 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 2: nobody is true, but it's just it's you literally said 281 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 2: she could you she was not going to wear it 282 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 2: out of respect for a conversation that you had earlier, 283 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 2: that you both agreed that okay, maybe you don't wear 284 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 2: it as much and then you're like, you know what, 285 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 2: you can. I hate wear it. I hate I hate 286 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 2: when people are like, oh, I told you one thing, 287 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: but you should have known that I met the other thing. 288 00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: People aren't mind readers. 289 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 2: People aren't mine. 290 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: They're not mind readers. 291 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 2: People aren't mind readers. If you want something in a relationship, 292 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 2: in a rather it be a friendship or romantic plotonic 293 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 2: or romantic, communicate, communicate and don't expect someone to know 294 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: what you want. 295 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: Expectations without communication leads to disappointment, and a second friend agreed, 296 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 1: but said that it wasn't her fault someone asked about it. 297 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: A third friend also agreed with the other two, but 298 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: his girlfriend pointed out that I expressed that it was 299 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 1: okay and that if I didn't mean it, I shouldn't 300 00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: have said it. Yes, exactly. The rest of the group 301 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 1: is kind of on the fence, saying me hiding it 302 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: was going too far and that I could have lost it. 303 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: By the way, you can join us live on YouTube 304 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 1: and not lose us every weekday at three pm Pacific 305 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: Center time, just taper profile. The general consensus is that 306 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: I should have established the boundary after the event, but 307 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: that hiding it was going too far. I see what 308 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: they mean, but still think that I made a good point. 309 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 2: What you did not? 310 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: What point did you make? 311 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 2: You made zero points? She you You literally came to a 312 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 2: perfect conclusion and then you. 313 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 1: Just just demolished it, demolished it. At any point the 314 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,520 Speaker 1: chain could break, be stolen on vacation, accidentally, come unclassed, 315 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 1: et cetera. And if that ring was so important, it 316 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: should stay home with the others. That was not the 317 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: point that you were trying to make. You freaking liar. 318 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: You freaking liar, You self important liar. I'm so angry. 319 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 1: He's like, Oh, I was just trying to prove that 320 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: you can lose it, and like you have to take 321 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: care of it. That's not what you were trying to prove. 322 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 2: No, it was you were was this feels so personal? 323 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,680 Speaker 2: Were so jealousy? Yeah, and that is what is. 324 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: Like he's lying. He told us the whole story and 325 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: then is now trying to retcon and lie to the reader. 326 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like you already on yourself in the beginning. Yeah, 327 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 2: Like why are you trying to walk back and you 328 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 2: can't walk back. We know who you are, oh man, 329 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 2: Man's getting rod. 330 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 1: I also want to note that I don't mind the 331 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: small Mantle tribute, and we discussed it in the past 332 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: that it can stay up when I move in. It's 333 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: not the memories I don't like. It's this specific ring 334 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: when she wears it. The ring didn't get lost, eaten 335 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: by the cat, or damaged. And I think my point 336 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: was made. So am I the a hole here? 337 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, you're the a hole. You were doing okay 338 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 2: until you hit it. Everything before, you know, like, there 339 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 2: were some things that were up to question. But as 340 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: soon as you took the ring a hole, Yeah, all 341 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 2: the way a hole. And in terms of what you 342 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 2: can do now, let her break up with you, let 343 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 2: her go, oh man. That was That was infuriating. But 344 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: you know what is less infuriating the fact we have 345 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:04,879 Speaker 2: another story. I had another story, Missy says unreliable narrator. Indeed, indubitably, 346 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 2: my boyfriend never deleted tender, but he swears he isn't cheating. Preface. 347 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 2: My boyfriend I met on Tender and he has three 348 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 2: kids from a previous relationship. We have been in relationship 349 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 2: for almost two years and have one baby together. 350 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: Wow, such a concerning preface. 351 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 2: Also, this comes from Flimsy Struggle six seven two six 352 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 2: on the r slash Okay Storytime Summer. In it, so, 353 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,120 Speaker 2: I was feeling as if my boyfriend was hiding something 354 00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 2: in the shadows. He goes to the gym, work and 355 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,920 Speaker 2: work meetings, he only comes home later and expected after work. 356 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 2: I blame bad time estimation skills for this, or maybe. 357 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: It's cheating eating. 358 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 2: So it's not like he is staying out overnight or anything, 359 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 2: but he was always hiding his phone when I was around, beating, eating, 360 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 2: angling it away from me, cheating, especially when he was 361 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 2: texting eating In the middle of July, I asked him 362 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 2: to join a tracking app. Oh, it's a little cute 363 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: thing we can do together. 364 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 1: Cute Little Life three sixty. 365 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 2: He refused, saying his ex used to do that and 366 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,320 Speaker 2: it led to an unhealthy relationship, or maybe you were 367 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 2: exposed for che day. 368 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 1: I was like, I I want everyone to give me 369 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: their location. 370 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 2: I am honestly the same. 371 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: I just I don't think that's weird. I take pride, yeah, 372 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: and like having all of my friends one time. 373 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,439 Speaker 2: This is this is a small pep energy of me. 374 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 2: But one time I was in an in and out 375 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 2: with this girl and she was like, you know how 376 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 2: many people I have on find my friends? I have eighteen? 377 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,679 Speaker 2: And then she like looked at my phone, You're like, 378 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,640 Speaker 2: oh wow, you only have six. And I'm like, I'm 379 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 2: gonna change this right now. So I literally made like 380 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 2: thirty calls to all my friends around the world and uh, 381 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 2: and then got like, I think like thirty. 382 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,760 Speaker 1: Uh way, how many I have? 383 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 2: Who's your furthest friend away Spain? 384 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:58,640 Speaker 1: John? 385 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,359 Speaker 2: I said it for how is it John? M? 386 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's John. Uh. And then after John, 387 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: it's my friends in New York five, six, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, 388 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,120 Speaker 1: got thirteen oh fourteen. 389 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 3: So is your thoughts about relationships sharing location? 390 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:23,920 Speaker 1: What the frame? 391 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 2: What? One? Two, three? 392 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,880 Speaker 3: I'm okay with a handful like you guys, but that's 393 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 3: kind of pushing it too. 394 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 2: I have thirty. 395 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,440 Speaker 3: How often do you look at my location, dors? 396 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 2: I only look at it. 397 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: I only look at what if I'm looking for you? 398 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: Okay. 399 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 400 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 1: The thing is that I don't often, like just randomly, 401 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: like I don't know, I don't randomly check on my 402 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: like where people are all the time. 403 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,440 Speaker 3: I do when Sam goes on date and. 404 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,120 Speaker 2: I tracked me down when I was on a date 405 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 2: and and said, hey boy, what no. 406 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,880 Speaker 1: I just it's so, it's just great. I love it. 407 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 3: What we're gonna say about. 408 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 2: Him, Well, look what Cam's friends would do. They have 409 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 2: his location and Cam would be at a bar and 410 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 2: then he would just have friends roll up. 411 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: That's so fun. 412 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 4: It was. 413 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 3: I think it's so fun snapchat. 414 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 1: Oh that's like, Oh I guess, so I see, yeah, 415 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:22,959 Speaker 1: but you don't. You can't like, but you can't direction anyways. 416 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 2: And it was a story, get back to this story. 417 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 2: So I start to wonder if he still has Tinder. 418 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 2: So I redownloaded it, and my account is still active 419 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 2: and so is his. 420 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: Hey, why is your account stocked? 421 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,160 Speaker 2: I guess because you redowloaded it. Okay, I screenshot him 422 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 2: to see if there's any changes down the road. So 423 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 2: one morning before he went to work, I asked him, 424 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,680 Speaker 2: can I see your phone? Yes? Why? However, he got 425 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 2: it out and I saw him delete a group of messages. 426 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 2: I asked him what messages he deleted. He repeatedly denied 427 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 2: there being any deleted messages for like an hour while 428 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 2: I repeated the same sentence let me see the deleted message. 429 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 2: All in all, he doesn't let me touch his phone. However, 430 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 2: he showed me all his messages quickly and was very 431 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 2: willing to show me texts from his ex who has 432 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 2: three kids. It's probably different people, probably different people. 433 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:21,719 Speaker 1: Probably different people. 434 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is very suspicious. That is how I knew 435 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: I had nothing to worry about on that front. So 436 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 2: at least you don't know he's cheating with his AX. 437 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 2: But what about all the tender girls? I say, I 438 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 2: needed to be more open and honest, and he is, 439 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 2: like I am. I run the fact that he pulled 440 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 2: seventeen thousand dollars out of his four to one K 441 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 2: and didn't tell me until two days later. 442 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 1: Whoa over? 443 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 2: That is neither here nor there. It seems like here 444 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,159 Speaker 2: and show me the deleted messages. He turns it on 445 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 2: me and says, usually the one accusing is the one cheating. 446 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 2: I said he could look at my phone anytime and 447 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,119 Speaker 2: I won't delete anything. He ended up offering to take 448 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 2: the day off work as it was getting later in 449 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,760 Speaker 2: the morning. I said, you are holding yourself up and 450 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,399 Speaker 2: that he can make that decision himself if he just 451 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,679 Speaker 2: shows me what he is hiding. I will go back 452 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 2: to bed. I go to the bathroom and get some room. 453 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 2: As I'm tearing up at this point, imagining what he 454 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 2: could be so protective over. He came and said he 455 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 2: was leaving for work, and I just said okay. Three 456 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 2: to four hours later, I texted them, whose messages did 457 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,479 Speaker 2: you delete? You know something is up. He finally said, 458 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 2: there's this girl I talked two years ago. I don't 459 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,560 Speaker 2: have her on any social media, but she got my 460 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 2: number somehow and first said hope all is well, and 461 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: I left it alone and she said hey. I replied 462 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 2: with how are you that? She said nothing, just working, 463 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,040 Speaker 2: and I left it alone there, how are you? Nothing 464 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 2: has been between us for years, and all of a 465 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 2: sudden she reached out, you're telling me, yeah, what was this? 466 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 2: Is the conversation you were deleting and not wanting to share, 467 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 2: because if you shared that conversation, it would absolve. 468 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 1: It would have absolve you. 469 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 2: The truth, Well set you free. 470 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: Why are you so guilty? 471 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:21,120 Speaker 2: Some duty says, why she wasting her time? Broom Josupmadola 472 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 2: Quiz says gaslighting, gaslighting? Gaslighting. Tyler says, if he gets 473 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 2: to this point, call it quits. Yeah, dude, I think 474 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 2: this guy is definitely purposely being suspicious with the ex 475 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,880 Speaker 2: to keep eyes off other women, says giants milk. 476 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the X is a dequis. 477 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred Yeah, this is not innocent behavior at all. Honestly, 478 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 2: if this was me, I would probably yeah if it's just. 479 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 3: A boy but. 480 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a baby. I was about to say, I 481 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 1: was like, just a boyfriend, but this is a. 482 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: Baby related, Okay, I would try to get more evidence 483 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,959 Speaker 2: at this point. Yeah, but definitely suspicious. Trust is broken, 484 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 2: rust is well. Uh so I felt my gut feeling 485 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,480 Speaker 2: was correct. He shows me the messages and the only 486 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 2: thing he replies is how are you? I asked him, 487 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 2: if they are innocent messages, why hide them? He says 488 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,399 Speaker 2: he is against female friends, he doesn't want female friends, 489 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,240 Speaker 2: and he doesn't find it appropriate for your girlfriend to 490 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 2: have guy friends. He offers for me to track him, 491 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 2: and I say, a cheater is going to find ways 492 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 2: to cheat despite location tracking or checking their phone. 493 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: Also, why is he like doubling back just because she's overtext? 494 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 1: Yeah no, I'm saying before he was saying, I don't 495 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 1: want you to track me now, he's saying, I want you. 496 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 2: To track me because he's found a way around it. 497 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm saying he's doing all this overtext, like 498 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,640 Speaker 3: he has. She asked whose message ju delee. He didn't 499 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,040 Speaker 3: say anything until overtext he said something. 500 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, and also like he's maybe giving her proof after 501 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: he has time to delete the evidence. 502 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, to dust the finger. 503 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course he's gonna be able to show her 504 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,440 Speaker 2: the best version of things. I only did the pop 505 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 2: quiz to see if you forgot to delete something. 506 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: Oh like pop quiz him by Oh, let me see 507 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 1: your phone. 508 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would like to confirm that there was no flirting. 509 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 2: But now you have had the chance to permanently delete messages, 510 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: so it doesn't matter. You could have done anything. Lie 511 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 2: again like you did this morning. Next time, just let 512 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 2: me have your phone for five minutes. Dude, he sucks. 513 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 2: When he comes home, he gives me his phone password, 514 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 2: as well as the phone number of the girl. He texted. 515 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 2: I call her because I'm not a shy person. He said. 516 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 2: He is a good guy that she knew from high school, 517 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,959 Speaker 2: but she doesn't know what goes on behind closed doors. 518 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,760 Speaker 2: He says. She messages him every few months, but she 519 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,879 Speaker 2: last talked to him a couple of weeks ago. I 520 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 2: actually had a friend. Uh get just get absolutely obliterated 521 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 2: on the phone by a friend's girlfriend or no, by 522 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 2: her friend's girlfriend. 523 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,880 Speaker 3: Oh I want to know so bad. 524 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 2: Who got obliterated? 525 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 3: Do you like mouth it to me? 526 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 2: Got a bleter? 527 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: Can you put it on Riley and then tell. 528 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 2: Your favorite month? I honestly want to call her and 529 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 2: have her tell the story. M it's it was pretty 530 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,639 Speaker 2: it was pretty crazy, pretty crazy? 531 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: Uh? 532 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 3: When are they going to be around? 533 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:23,199 Speaker 1: Uh? 534 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 2: I think she's spending a couple months with us or something? 535 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 3: A month with does? 536 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, a couple of weeks or She also mentioned she 537 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 2: has been married for ten years, so she knows how 538 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 2: these conversations go. It seemed rehearsed customer service almost so 539 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 2: I asked for her social media. On Facebook, she is 540 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,119 Speaker 2: single and she posts selfies where a variety of men 541 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 2: compliment her posts. On Instagram, she doesn't even post her kids. 542 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 2: After I asked about her social media, she called me 543 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 2: trying to explain that she doesn't post about her kids 544 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 2: because you know how people are. No, I don't I 545 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 2: post her kids all the time. Nesus say this individual 546 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 2: is not my favorite person ever, but my boyfriend does 547 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 2: not have her added. 548 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,439 Speaker 1: Okay, wait, that was actually super fair. I would not 549 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: want to post my kids all. Sure, But I mean 550 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 1: I feel like people, I don't trust this girl. I 551 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 1: don't trust this girl at all. I don't trust this 552 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: girl at all. 553 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 3: Do you don't think you don't trust his friend? She 554 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 3: seems pretty level headed though. 555 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 2: This friend, no dude, she's I feel like she's I 556 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 2: feel like they're inca hoots to keep their spicy, spicy, 557 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: spicy sleep life a secret. 558 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,639 Speaker 3: I don't know the flaw I saw. She said the 559 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,680 Speaker 3: last time they talked was a couple of weeks ago, 560 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 3: whenever Opie's hubby said they talk recently, way more recently. 561 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,800 Speaker 3: I feel like that's one thing. And she also noted 562 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 3: I don't know what happens behind closed doors. Who Those 563 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 3: were the two things I thought she was being a 564 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:55,360 Speaker 3: girl's girl for. 565 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 1: I think any more information. 566 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 2: I didn't any of that. 567 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 3: And he probably probably has this one lined up where 568 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 3: this is the fall, the decoy while he has all 569 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 3: these other Tinder girls he's talking to. 570 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 2: But this is the number of the person that he 571 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 2: deleted messages from. Yes, supposedly, I think, well, no, because 572 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 2: we know, we know, we know this is the person 573 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 2: that he like. Oh, I guess we don't know. 574 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 3: We don't know. I think he deleted a lot more messages. 575 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 5: From I think there's other girls going that's true, and 576 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 5: this one's just the regardless though, I think she she's 577 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 5: in on it and like being like a homie to him. 578 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and being the decoy. 579 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 1: Could be? Could be? Could be? All right, the only 580 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 1: way we'll know. 581 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 2: Could be could be? 582 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 1: Could be. 583 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 2: So to preface this next part, my boyfriend said he 584 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,440 Speaker 2: quit social media months ago because he's spending too much 585 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 2: time on it and his brain is melting. Two days later, 586 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 2: I took his phone and I noticed a Facebook notification. 587 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 2: He has been back on Facebook for a month and 588 00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 2: has been messaging friends, posting every day, and he follows 589 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 2: Okay story Time, the best Facebook page on Facebook. Make 590 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 2: sure you can follow us right now. 591 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,880 Speaker 3: He doesn't follow. If he did, he wouldn't be doing 592 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 3: all this true. 593 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 2: You would know, you would know. 594 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 1: I don't think I have. 595 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 2: If you want to learn how to navigate the relationships 596 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 2: that matter most, follow Okay Storytime. 597 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: If you want to give it, listen to good advice. 598 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 1: Good advicefully hoofully. 599 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 2: Freaking follow us. He says that he only sends messages 600 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: to his family that US Messenger, and he barely even 601 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 2: uses it. I said every day, he's barely using it. 602 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 2: He didn't even reply to that. He said he forgot 603 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 2: I had Facebook, even though I had used to send 604 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 2: him hundreds of memes and have posted about him. And 605 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 2: I feel like he has got to see me on 606 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 2: Facebook over my shoulder. He again brings up that usually 607 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 2: the accuser is hiding something. I say, that is something 608 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 2: a narcissist and a cheater would say. Regardless, we've come 609 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 2: to an understanding that he needs to stop hiding stuff 610 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,720 Speaker 2: and be more open and honest. He says, well, I 611 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,560 Speaker 2: told you about the seventeen K the same day Saturday. However, 612 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,480 Speaker 2: I have text messages that say otherwise with their time 613 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 2: stamp Monday. On this day. I also redownloaded Tinder again. 614 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 2: His account is gone vanished, which is even more sus 615 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 2: I confronted him and he said he had the app deleted. However, 616 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 2: he found out he was still paying for it. 617 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: I'm paying for it. 618 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 2: You can pay for Tinder. 619 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,400 Speaker 3: For men, it's harder to get dates, so they're like, oh, 620 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 3: you can get better dates. 621 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:31,239 Speaker 2: It is true tenders for on Tender, men make up 622 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,400 Speaker 2: seventy five percent of the platform. Women make up twenty 623 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 2: five percent of the platform. Men isn't true? That is true? Yeah, yeah, 624 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 2: you're into men that It would be so easy. By 625 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 2: the way, you can join us live every weekday at 626 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,960 Speaker 2: three pm PST. It's that easy, just tap a profile. 627 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,000 Speaker 2: I also realized at this point, nowhere in the fourtext 628 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 2: between this woman from high school and my boyfriend, does 629 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,520 Speaker 2: she say her name? He says it is because they 630 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,240 Speaker 2: have texted in the past. I said, why did you 631 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 2: delete it? He said because he wasn't going to reply. 632 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,640 Speaker 2: So the timing of all this, But I would like 633 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 2: to blame stupidity instead of him being a cheater. I 634 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 2: have no proof of any cheating, but I don't approve 635 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 2: of the manipulation. I learned about darvo on Reddit. What's that? 636 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 2: And this seems to be it? Darvo? What's darvo? 637 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: Arvo? 638 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 2: Darvo? Was it narcissistic abuse? I don't know what is it? 639 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 2: What's darvo? 640 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 1: Darvo is the ultimate indicator of narcissism in your relationship. 641 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: Here's how you spot it. D lying. 642 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,480 Speaker 3: Are they lying, cheating, reception. 643 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: Abuse, rejection. I'm just making it. 644 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,959 Speaker 2: That's really good. These are denial attack, reverse victim to affect. 645 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 2: I got victim right, Yes, let's freaking go. Yeah. 646 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 3: Then he just gives examples. 647 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 2: He is all right? Would you would you break up? 648 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 2: Break up? I feel at this point trusting about the 649 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 2: baby though the baby. Honestly, the baby's better without him. 650 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: The baby's better without him. 651 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 2: I would. I feel like I feel like either you 652 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 2: leave or very very thin nice Yeah, but I don't 653 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 2: know the trust would be broken for me. I feel like. 654 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 1: Trying to turn it around on you and there It's 655 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: just it doesn't seem like a very healthy relationship anymore. 656 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 3: How is your head filling after all this? How's on mangrain? 657 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: Round and round bad? 658 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:29,040 Speaker 2: I What I feel like is she knows what's going 659 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 2: on is not right, but she's trying to cling to 660 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 2: a good perception of him. Oh it's okay op on Facebook? 661 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 2: I feel like you should be able to put okay 662 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:45,239 Speaker 2: story time and find it. Yes, but they won't let 663 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 2: us change the name. Why is that? Wait, so you're 664 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 2: telling me if I look up okay storytime on Facebook? 665 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 2: Telling me okay story Time Facebook dude, I'm annoyed that 666 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 2: we still haven't been able to change. All Right, I 667 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 2: need I need to add that to last figure. I 668 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 2: had to change the name