WEBVTT - Get Rid of your Scary Infested Turkey

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tab.

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<v Speaker 2>Here, Elvis Duran. I've got an idea for a phone tap.

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<v Speaker 2>My husband thought it'd be great to buy a real

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<v Speaker 2>turkey for the kids to have as a pet. Our

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<v Speaker 2>pet turkey lives in the yard and out on the

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<v Speaker 2>back deck, and when it rains we let him into

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<v Speaker 2>the laundry room to sleep, because you know, turkeys will

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<v Speaker 2>look up and drown anyway, some of our neighbors have

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<v Speaker 2>been complaining about our pet turkey, especially when it sings

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<v Speaker 2>in the morning. My husband loves animals. In fact, he

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<v Speaker 2>feeds all the neighborhood cats and raccoons and possums and

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<v Speaker 2>they all come to our house. Recently, my daughter and

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<v Speaker 2>I were told by our dermatologists that the skin rashes

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<v Speaker 2>we've developed might be scabies. Even though we can't prove it,

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<v Speaker 2>we think it could be from the turkey. Why don't

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<v Speaker 2>you call my husband and tell him that you're a

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<v Speaker 2>concerned neighbor and parent and tell him you don't want

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<v Speaker 2>your kids getting scabies from his turkey. My husband's a

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<v Speaker 2>wise ass. It could be a fun phone tap, all right.

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<v Speaker 2>This comes to us from Christine Christine's going to start

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<v Speaker 2>the call, and then Ave Brody will call as the

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<v Speaker 2>concerned neighbor. Here we go, today's phone tap.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Peter.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm mortified and I'm freaking out. I can't breathe.

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<v Speaker 3>Somebody from school called my cell phone and this guy

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<v Speaker 3>was screaming at me, cursing about what about the turkey

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<v Speaker 3>of escaping? I told you this is gonna go right now.

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<v Speaker 3>Give me his number. I don't have his number. When

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<v Speaker 3>he calls me, I'll speak with him and i'll see.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll see if you want to scream at me. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>heaving about it. So listen to me. I'll speak with them.

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<v Speaker 3>You handle this. Goodbye, very good bye, good bye.

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<v Speaker 1>That was fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all right, here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you ready?

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<v Speaker 3>Go ahead? Hello? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Is this Peter?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>It is, This is Anthony.

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<v Speaker 3>All right, listen to me. You don't call up and

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<v Speaker 3>you don't scream and curse at my wife. Do you

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<v Speaker 3>understand me?

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<v Speaker 1>You're going to sit your turkey on me.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll come and sit myself on you. You understand that's disrespectful.

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<v Speaker 3>I would never scream, will curse at your wife's ever, No,

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<v Speaker 3>you wouldn't.

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<v Speaker 1>My wife's got class, shouldn't have a turkey.

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<v Speaker 3>It sound like you acting like an ass.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, I'm listen. I'm trying to be a good

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<v Speaker 1>guy here.

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<v Speaker 3>But you're trying to be a good guy screaming, cursing

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<v Speaker 3>at my wife as being a good guy. He's being

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<v Speaker 3>a gentleman's being a man. What'd you say to him?

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<v Speaker 1>I asked about the turkey. I said, your kid's got scabies.

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<v Speaker 3>My kid never had scathes.

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<v Speaker 1>Your kid's got scabies.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, my kid never had scaves. Imbecile. Well, she's got

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<v Speaker 3>like rashes on or the teacher who has eczema, the

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<v Speaker 3>same exema I have on my arms.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, we don't need that in this neighborhood.

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<v Speaker 3>A right, you don't need this in this neighborhood.

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<v Speaker 1>Turkeys are for Thanksgiving, not for pets.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, okay, what do you the turkey?

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<v Speaker 1>Please don't worry about who I am.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, I know I am worry about who you are

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<v Speaker 3>because she's because you got my number and you're talking

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<v Speaker 3>to me, and you're talking to me like you're a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit of a wise guy.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like that your kids coming to school with

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<v Speaker 1>all turkey diseases.

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<v Speaker 3>A turkey disease. What diseases do turkeys carry? What do

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<v Speaker 3>you know about anything?

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<v Speaker 1>You got scaby babies?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, no, it's me. What do you know about any

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<v Speaker 3>kind of animal at all? What I know? I know?

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<v Speaker 3>What's your expertise?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a normal man. I got a dog, that's what.

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<v Speaker 3>You're a normal man. You don't sound like the normal man.

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<v Speaker 3>You sound like a normal idiot.

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<v Speaker 1>You got a turkey in your house in Brooklyn.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where he's out in a house. The turkey lives outside.

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<v Speaker 1>Your daughter told my daughter, the turkey comes inside sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>when it rains.

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<v Speaker 3>The turkey does not come in the house. The turkey

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<v Speaker 3>came in for Thanksgiving, and that was it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's pretty cool. Don't you think bringing the turk

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<v Speaker 1>in while you're eating turkey?

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<v Speaker 3>You're no nothing, small minded? But tell me what you

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<v Speaker 3>know about a turkey.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's what I know about turkeys. Four hours at three

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<v Speaker 1>hundred and fifty degrees.

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<v Speaker 3>You're calling me up, and you're going all kinds of nuts,

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<v Speaker 3>and you're a jerk offt and you don't know anything

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<v Speaker 3>about what you're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>I googled scabies. I googled.

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<v Speaker 3>You googled. That's that's pretty good. You googled something.

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<v Speaker 1>You can get all kinds of diseases from turkey poop.

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<v Speaker 3>You're reaching now, and I'll tell you what, if you

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<v Speaker 3>had any balls, you would say that to me in person.

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<v Speaker 3>You're scared, You're nobody. I just happened to have a

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<v Speaker 3>pet turkey in my backyard. A big deal. I have

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<v Speaker 3>more important things to do with my life than to

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<v Speaker 3>deal with a schmark like you.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to know who I am? Yeah, my name

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<v Speaker 1>is Dave Brody. You've just been fantastic.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, got babe.

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<v Speaker 1>You anything you'd like to say to Christine at this.

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<v Speaker 3>Point, I'll get you. Actually, I got even with you.

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<v Speaker 3>I married you, and that's the best revente The Elvis

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<v Speaker 3>Duran phone tap.

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<v Speaker 1>This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by

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<v Speaker 1>all of participants.

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<v Speaker 2>The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in

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<v Speaker 2>the Morning Show