Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is How Men Think? And I heard radio podcast. Hey,
Speaker 1: everybody's Bob guinea here. Welcome to How Men Think. I
Speaker 1: am your guest host for the show this week, which
Speaker 1: I'm very excited about. Um, very proud to be here.
Speaker 1: I think I was on one of the early episodes
Speaker 1: of How Men Think. And I will tell you the
Speaker 1: early answer to How Men Think is is not enough.
Speaker 1: It's it's never enough. Men don't think much at all,
Speaker 1: at least I don't. And so I'm proud to be here,
Speaker 1: excited to go through my thought processes with you on
Speaker 1: everything that has anything to do with relationships and all
Speaker 1: the things I seem to be really bad at. Um. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm Bob Guiney. UM. You probably know me, if you
Speaker 1: know me at all, from The Bachelor stuff, which is
Speaker 1: a long, long, long time ago. Um, pre Ben Higgins.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like p b h pre pre
Speaker 1: Ben Higgins or post Ben Higgins, is how I look
Speaker 1: at it. I'm in the pre era, so before Jason Mesnick.
Speaker 1: I mean it goes way back, guys, before Jessie Palmer
Speaker 1: who's now hosting The Bachelor. To give you an idea. Um,
Speaker 1: but I was on the first season of The Bachelorette
Speaker 1: actually with Trista, and then they gave me my own
Speaker 1: season of The Bachelor right after that, and um that
Speaker 1: was season four. So to give you an idea, I
Speaker 1: think we're at season like sixty one right now the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: So pretty crazy stuff, um, but a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Not much has changed on the format of the show
Speaker 1: from then to now. Then it was in black and white,
Speaker 1: now it's in technicolor. So other than that, I think
Speaker 1: we're pretty good. Um. But also went on to host
Speaker 1: a segment on the Today's show called the mentel All Panel,
Speaker 1: which I think really primes me perfectly for hosting the
Speaker 1: show today. For what men think, We're gonna have some fun.
Speaker 1: We're gonna answer some questions and then we're gonna open
Speaker 1: it up test some live callers Colin and Haze me,
Speaker 1: which would be enjoyable and um, and that's kind of
Speaker 1: thing we're gonna do today, So it's gonna be great. Um.
Speaker 1: I will let you guys know ahead of time. I
Speaker 1: am married now no longer a bachelor, even though I
Speaker 1: still get called Bachelor Bob all the time from all
Speaker 1: the stuff I got to do with Oprah and she
Speaker 1: would always say Bachelor Bob as she would do, and uh,
Speaker 1: it seems like that one stuck. So everywhere I go
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, pizza for Bachelor Bob. I'm like, thanks, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Um, but I wanted to do
Speaker 1: some questions. We want to do some questions so that
Speaker 1: you guys could get an idea to know a little
Speaker 1: bit about me. So, um, what are you known for?
Speaker 1: Tell us about yourself. I think I handled that right
Speaker 1: mostly Bachelor Stuff. Hosted a bunch of home renovation shows
Speaker 1: over the years. I was also musician, playing a band
Speaker 1: called Band from TV, which is made up of Hugh
Speaker 1: Laurie from House who's Doctor House, Jesse Spencer, who was
Speaker 1: also on House at one time but they became Lieutenant
Speaker 1: Casey on Chicago Fire. And then if you're a sci
Speaker 1: fi lover, we've got Scott Grimes from the Orville who's
Speaker 1: in the band, and myself a bunch of guys from Heroes,
Speaker 1: the old TV show Heroes. I mean, there's a there's
Speaker 1: a ton of people that kind of rattle around inside
Speaker 1: the band. But the coolest thing is we give it
Speaker 1: all a charity. So we'll play all these corporate gigs
Speaker 1: for all these different places, and we'll give all that
Speaker 1: money to charity, which is a lot of fun. So
Speaker 1: my charity is the Children's Hospital Los Angeles and Lucas
Speaker 1: l A, which are two causes that means something to me.
Speaker 1: And uh, Children's Hospital I started supporting even before I
Speaker 1: had kids. Um and UM. I really just always felt
Speaker 1: like kids shouldn't have to worry about medicine and stuff.
Speaker 1: They should play and have fun and be a kid.
Speaker 1: So now that I have kids, I can tell you
Speaker 1: that that actually resonates with me even more now than
Speaker 1: it did when I first started supporting these charities. And um,
Speaker 1: I have a three and a half year old whose
Speaker 1: name is Grayson, and I have an eleven month old
Speaker 1: or no, I'm sorry, he's still he just turned one.
Speaker 1: He just turned one last week, so don't tell my wife.
Speaker 1: I said that I have a one year old named
Speaker 1: Blake and uh. And I waited until I was forty
Speaker 1: seven to have kids intentionally, which I'm totally kidding because
Speaker 1: it wasn't intentional. But uh, now I'm I'm older than that. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I'm fifty one and I got two kids under the
Speaker 1: age of four. So it's kind of kind of bananas
Speaker 1: to have that going on at this stage in the game,
Speaker 1: especially when I went into Ralph's to buy some some
Speaker 1: booze and really, you know, uh cute lady there taken,
Speaker 1: you know, and she's like, oh, I need to see
Speaker 1: your ID. I'm sorry, you know. So I hand her
Speaker 1: my idea and she looks at it and at first
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, my god, you know, she's she's really cute.
Speaker 1: And then uh, she's like, oh my god, you the
Speaker 1: same age as my dad. And that stressed me out,
Speaker 1: caused me shame, and uh, you know, I've been binge
Speaker 1: eating ever since, so you know, I eat my feelings.
Speaker 1: So anyway, that's where we are with that one. UM
Speaker 1: married for uh let's see, married for for or six
Speaker 1: years and m yeah, So I just moved back to Detroit,
Speaker 1: which is my hometown. UM had been living on the
Speaker 1: West coas US for the last twenty some years, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to move back home and to be closer
Speaker 1: to my family, and uh, in the process, UH lost
Speaker 1: my dad when I moved back home, and I was
Speaker 1: thankful to be here, uh to be with him, and
Speaker 1: so uh, that's it for my personal life. Um, as
Speaker 1: far as it goes. Uh, three shows I'm binge watching. Alright,
Speaker 1: three shows I'm bene watching. I got a couple for
Speaker 1: you right now. One Queen of the South. Awesome show.
Speaker 1: I am hardcore watching that one. I'm kind of deep
Speaker 1: on it right now. I'm almost to the last season.
Speaker 1: So I then started rewatching or re binge watching ted Lasso,
Speaker 1: which I love. I love that show. Also up for
Speaker 1: twenty Emmy nominations, by the way, just as a sidebar
Speaker 1: for you, very deserving, I think, Um, those are the
Speaker 1: two that I'm bene watching. I don't think I have
Speaker 1: a third right now. I'll have to find a third
Speaker 1: for you. But Queen of the South. I highly recommended
Speaker 1: ted Lasso if you haven't heard of it, Like, dude,
Speaker 1: what's up? Honestly, it's a huge show and very amazing.
Speaker 1: And um I did finish. Oh god, what was the show?
Speaker 1: I just finished? Um? Oh, Outer Banks, which a little embarrassing,
Speaker 1: a little embarrassed, admit that one. It's sort of like
Speaker 1: you know, Saved by the Bell reboot but on an island, um,
Speaker 1: but still gripping, awesome cast, good show. So there's three
Speaker 1: shows favorite food. Um, I gotta go Mexican on this one.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge lover of all things nacho related, even
Speaker 1: breakfast nachos, which some might know are called Chilea kles.
Speaker 1: But I have actually happened to love Mexican food. And
Speaker 1: but I really don't find too many foods that I
Speaker 1: don't love. Clearly, unlike one of the former hosts of
Speaker 1: the show, I am not the most fit man in America.
Speaker 1: He was ripped and yoked and I like to rip
Speaker 1: bread and shove it in my mouth and eat yolks
Speaker 1: of eggs. A career, yeah, so my career UM started
Speaker 1: off with music. Was really lucky. UM signed a record
Speaker 1: deal right out of college. This is way back in
Speaker 1: the day, and as a result, that's how the people
Speaker 1: from The Bachelor found me, and Um, I was one
Speaker 1: of the people that I never auditioned for The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: I actually, uh, I wouldn't have thought of myself in
Speaker 1: that in that regard, so they approached me. Well, actually,
Speaker 1: my a couple of people at a company I worked
Speaker 1: with submitted my information about me knowing it, so by
Speaker 1: the time they flew me out there, it was like
Speaker 1: it was two weeks before the show started a month
Speaker 1: before the show started, and that was for Trista this season.
Speaker 1: But that kick started my career and then um, obviously,
Speaker 1: then The Bachelor came after that, and then Oprah was
Speaker 1: a big fan of the show at the time, and
Speaker 1: Oprah I thought I was funny. So Oprah made me
Speaker 1: her Man on the Street and I did a bunch
Speaker 1: of segments with her, did her show a ton and
Speaker 1: um it was pretty awesome. Uh kind of learned how
Speaker 1: to do interviews from doing the Oprah Show basically, and
Speaker 1: uh from there, it kind of launched me to work
Speaker 1: for The View, which at the time was a much
Speaker 1: different show than it is today. Um, a lot less political,
Speaker 1: a lot more fun, I think, um. And so I
Speaker 1: went to work with The View the ABC daytime for
Speaker 1: several years, and then I started hosting a bunch of
Speaker 1: HDTV stuff and UM TLC and you name the network.
Speaker 1: I was probably on it at some point doing a
Speaker 1: show that is very forgetful. But I had a long
Speaker 1: string of those game shows. UM never you know, obviously
Speaker 1: never left music and stayed with the band from TV
Speaker 1: stuff and UM, so yeah, it's been pretty rewarding. Now
Speaker 1: I actually host a deal or no deal, which I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys remember that show with Howie
Speaker 1: Mandel and the twenty briefcase models back in the day.
Speaker 1: And so now I'm hosting that as well, which is
Speaker 1: a reboot of that, and there's a live version of
Speaker 1: that which is pretty cool. And um, on top of that,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to hold down my day job, which
Speaker 1: I also never quit, so I stayed. I never just
Speaker 1: left for entertainment, even when I was doing all the
Speaker 1: other stuff. I always kept my uh my feet in
Speaker 1: the finance world. And so I still kick around there
Speaker 1: quite a bit, um with a bunch of great companies
Speaker 1: and in one in particular, uh called Lincoln Financial, which
Speaker 1: is a great company and allows me a lot of flexibility.
Speaker 1: They're very nice. My biggest fear in life, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is one I think is is very telling, right, So
Speaker 1: I would say at one point I would have said
Speaker 1: clowns who were kidding. Clowns are terrifying. There's nothing even
Speaker 1: funny about a clown. It's just scary as hell. But
Speaker 1: now that I have kids, um, I mean god, I
Speaker 1: mean the list goes on, right, I mean from fear now,
Speaker 1: like the biggest fear I have now is is something
Speaker 1: happening to one of my kids or you know, not
Speaker 1: being there when the scary part of Mowana comes on.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of things to be concerned
Speaker 1: about as a dad, so I'm dialed into that stuff now.
Speaker 1: But I say, clowns are still probably on my list
Speaker 1: pretty you know, top three easy. Biggest pet peeve I
Speaker 1: got so many. I fly a lot, I travel a lot,
Speaker 1: and um, I hate sitting next to people wearing flip flops.
Speaker 1: Drives me crazy. I don't know why. I don't really
Speaker 1: know why I'm so irritated by it. Um. But it's
Speaker 1: also a very gender specific thing. The lady has nice
Speaker 1: feet and is wearing flip flops. I don't have a
Speaker 1: problem if a dude gets on the plane with a
Speaker 1: flip flop. I needed, I need to move my seat,
Speaker 1: you know. And I would literally go from first class
Speaker 1: to the back of the plane if I if I
Speaker 1: had to sit next to some dude with stinky feet. Um,
Speaker 1: that's that's probably it. What makes me the most happy?
Speaker 1: Oh man, so many things, uh, you know, I mean
Speaker 1: a nice tetos and soda with lemon always makes me happy. Um.
Speaker 1: Of course, you know, as a dad, I say my kids,
Speaker 1: I probably top of the list. They probably usurp the
Speaker 1: tetos and soda with lemon um, but I would say
Speaker 1: it's a pretty close second. Just kidding. What is my
Speaker 1: ideal Saturday morning? This again, this is one of the
Speaker 1: things so I used to always say, even when I
Speaker 1: was a bachelor, I had this thing where I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, what's your perfect Sunday morning? For me, it
Speaker 1: was all about Sunday mornings because I had a thing
Speaker 1: back then called no talk Sundays, and I loved them.
Speaker 1: I love them single dude. You know, I just I
Speaker 1: didn't want to have to have conversations with people on Sundays.
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to brunch on a Sunday. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to be on the couch or in the pool
Speaker 1: or whatever and not have to deal with a bunch
Speaker 1: of drama. You know. So I was always like, I
Speaker 1: think Sundays, on the seventh day, I'll rest and I
Speaker 1: will allow myself to not have to speak to anybody.
Speaker 1: And so that would still be an ideal day um
Speaker 1: to have occasionally. And for someone who really loves to
Speaker 1: talk like I do, that's probably shocking to uh, to
Speaker 1: anyone who knows me. But I actually do kind of
Speaker 1: love having those days that are you know, no talk days.
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, I'd say this probably still resonates. And
Speaker 1: then I would also say, now, you know, uh, if
Speaker 1: the kids would sleep in, that would be an ideal
Speaker 1: Saturday morning or Sunday morning. Right now, both my both
Speaker 1: my ons, uh, you know, they're they're fidgety and making
Speaker 1: some noise at like six am every day. So needless
Speaker 1: to say, a few extra titoes and sodas the night
Speaker 1: before don't really have you feeling super good at six am,
Speaker 1: and especially when you aren't just waking up and lounging,
Speaker 1: you're waking up and going after it, you know, like kids.
Speaker 1: That's the one thing I learned at my right page
Speaker 1: is that kids don't really have like a chill button.
Speaker 1: They wake up at six am and it's you know,
Speaker 1: full speed ahead. They want to play, they want to
Speaker 1: go outside, they want to you know, take a car ride,
Speaker 1: they want to you know, wrestle. I mean, it's it's endless,
Speaker 1: it's awesome, but it's definitely not something for the faint
Speaker 1: of heart. Are you more of the athlete or the
Speaker 1: armshare quarterback? So I was an athlete my whole life.
Speaker 1: I played football in college and played a bunch of
Speaker 1: sports previous to that, and UM, considered myself still a
Speaker 1: pretty good athlete. I guess up until a few years ago, UM,
Speaker 1: when I just my body just started falling. Apart from
Speaker 1: all the needs, surgeries and everything else, but I would
Speaker 1: say I was definitely an athlete for the longest period
Speaker 1: of time. And now I'm probably a little mix of both.
Speaker 1: Like right now, I'm trying to get myself into pickleball
Speaker 1: and h I'm very judgy of other pickle ballers. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know, I've only played once, but I still think
Speaker 1: I'm super good at it. Um basketball, love to play basketball,
Speaker 1: still love to throw the football around, trying to get
Speaker 1: my son to, you know, play t ball with me,
Speaker 1: and uh, but I think when I think about myself
Speaker 1: as an athlete now, I'm probably more of a a
Speaker 1: you know, what do you call it? Be a bag
Speaker 1: thrower like cornhole? Right, so, um that's my sport now bowling,
Speaker 1: although I don't bowl, but if I did, that would
Speaker 1: be a good one. Lawn darts, you know, low impact, uh,
Speaker 1: loll im pet and uh, high scoring potential. What keeps
Speaker 1: you motivated. Um, I've always been a pretty motivated person,
Speaker 1: so I'm someone who's I'm very self motivated. Um. I
Speaker 1: like to think that, you know, I'm getting out of
Speaker 1: bed every day, I'm gonna do something fun. If it's
Speaker 1: not fun, why do it. It's kind of always been
Speaker 1: my mantra um. But you know, now having children, and
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's gonna be awesome. It's gonna
Speaker 1: keep me young. Right, I'm still gonna look like their
Speaker 1: grandpa t ball games or softball games or baseball games,
Speaker 1: whatever sports they play as I get older, which is
Speaker 1: just gonna happen, right. You know, I'm gonna be like
Speaker 1: the my ten year olds game. They'll be like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Grandpa is so nice coming to all these games. My
Speaker 1: walker was like, no, that's that's my dad. Um, So
Speaker 1: that's gonna be my life regardless. But um, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it's gonna keep me young at heart anyway.
Speaker 1: I mean, so if nothing else, I'm gonna you know,
Speaker 1: remain active enough, uh to have you know, two boys
Speaker 1: at least until they're both eighteen. So that gives me,
Speaker 1: that gives me tom seventy ish close to it anyway.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say that's a pretty big motivator.
Speaker 1: You know, I want my kids to have things that
Speaker 1: I didn't have as a kid, which, um, frankly, I
Speaker 1: had had amazing parents, an amazing family. I didn't want
Speaker 1: for much. But you know, the times are changing, so
Speaker 1: I gotta get you know, I gotta get an iPhone
Speaker 1: in first grade. I guess, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the deal is. I'm trying to find like
Speaker 1: a manual on that because I think it might be
Speaker 1: a little early first grade, you know, maybe sixth grade,
Speaker 1: seventh grade, tenth grade. I don't really know. I'd like
Speaker 1: to know. I'd like to know what all the parents
Speaker 1: out there think. Um, but uh yeah, that's what I
Speaker 1: would say. Keeps me motivated, are uh is keeping up
Speaker 1: with my kids and making sure that you know, they
Speaker 1: still will listen to me even if I can't hear
Speaker 1: them properly. So all right, so that's our eleven questions
Speaker 1: with me. That's the top of the show here for
Speaker 1: how men think. And we're gonna take a quick break
Speaker 1: and when we come back, we're gonna take some questions
Speaker 1: from some of you all, So stick with us, everybody,
Speaker 1: Welcome back. To How Men Think. I am your guest
Speaker 1: host for the week, Bob Guinea. We are very excited.
Speaker 1: We got some live callers calling in to ask me
Speaker 1: some questions, and I don't know what they are. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try and do my very best to answer them
Speaker 1: honestly or not, depending on the question, but you're never
Speaker 1: gonna know the difference, so I guess it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we're back here with How Men Think. Let's
Speaker 1: go to our first caller calling in. Her name is
Speaker 1: Joe Anne. Hi, Jolianne. How are you? I'm great. How
Speaker 1: are you doing, Bob? I'm doing great. Thanks for calling
Speaker 1: into How Men Think? I mean, this is I guess
Speaker 1: it's unusual that I would expect it to I thought
Speaker 1: it would have been a guy calling. I don't know
Speaker 1: why it doesn't. I should have expected a woman. So
Speaker 1: thanks for colin. I mean, we're trying to find out
Speaker 1: how men think here, right, So let me hopefully I
Speaker 1: can answer your questions. So what do you got for me? Well,
Speaker 1: I am divorced in my forties and I just don't
Speaker 1: know if like men are interested like dating someone like me.
Speaker 1: I'm for you one, No kids, are people interested in that?
Speaker 1: In addition to that, are they like, how do I
Speaker 1: get in the dating game? I literally have no idea
Speaker 1: how to navigate any of this. Yeah, and how long
Speaker 1: were you married before you get divorced? We were married
Speaker 1: for ten years? Okay, so you got married at what
Speaker 1: thirty one? Right? And got divorced at for any one?
Speaker 1: You know? I mean honestly, I happened to also be
Speaker 1: a previously divorced person, and I can honestly say sometimes
Speaker 1: life begins after divorce, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 1: I think you'd be I think you'd be doing yourself
Speaker 1: a disservice by trying to, like, you know, pigeonhole yourself
Speaker 1: as do people want to date someone like me? I'm
Speaker 1: forty want to divorced. I mean more than of the
Speaker 1: population is divorced or has been divorced, right, So I
Speaker 1: get it, though, you feel like when you go through
Speaker 1: a divorce, if you're anything like me, even if you
Speaker 1: wanted the divorce, you still feel like a bit of
Speaker 1: a like you failed at something you know, or you
Speaker 1: feel like you have this stigma about you because maybe
Speaker 1: you're the only person in your family immediate family that
Speaker 1: got divorced and everyone else has stayed together or whatever
Speaker 1: that was the case with me anyway, was you know,
Speaker 1: my sister and brother in law have been together like
Speaker 1: thirty some years. My parents, you know, we celebrated their
Speaker 1: fifty sixth wedding anniversary before my dad passed. And it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, and here I was, you know, getting divorced,
Speaker 1: you know, and UM, but I feel like life kind
Speaker 1: of begins a little bit after that because you know,
Speaker 1: now you know what you want and you know who
Speaker 1: you are, and you're really comfortable, I would think, or
Speaker 1: at least if you're not, then that's your first thing
Speaker 1: to do is get comfortable, you know, get comfortable with
Speaker 1: yourself because you know, UM, the best part about this
Speaker 1: and I say this as someone who I was also
Speaker 1: divorced without kids, that's that's a good thing, um, because
Speaker 1: you know, one of the things that UM, I think
Speaker 1: would have been hard for me, and this is just
Speaker 1: speaking personally if I did have kids with one of
Speaker 1: my access was having that relationship kind of continue in
Speaker 1: my life while I was trying to find you know,
Speaker 1: trying to have a new one. And UM, I mean,
Speaker 1: are you like that? Would you think you would have
Speaker 1: felt that same way? Because it is almost like a
Speaker 1: burden released that you don't you didn't have kids previously.
Speaker 1: I feel like that is the case, just because my
Speaker 1: relationship was definitely tumultuous, so I don't know if the
Speaker 1: co parenting thing would have worked out. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, you know how people have that judgment on
Speaker 1: your this age, you've been married and you don't have kids.
Speaker 1: That's weird. Yeah, people judge everything. People suck to a
Speaker 1: certain degree. And I don't know if I can say that,
Speaker 1: but I would say that that is kind of true
Speaker 1: because everybody lives in this glass house and there, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I can say this. I I just did
Speaker 1: this article for some magazine recently. I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it was. And they asked me, like, you know, if
Speaker 1: you had advice to give to a um, to a parent,
Speaker 1: what would your vice be, And and I said, actually,
Speaker 1: my vice wouldn't be to parents. My advice with people
Speaker 1: who aren't parents. Stop judging parents. You know, Like it's tough, right,
Speaker 1: Like you you go to a restaurant and you sit
Speaker 1: down and you see some kids sitting there with an
Speaker 1: iPad and you're like, oh my god, if my kid
Speaker 1: will never do that. Uh, yeah, they will, and you
Speaker 1: want them to do that so you can have like
Speaker 1: five minutes to eat your spaghetti because your kid is
Speaker 1: driving you bananas. And I say that as someone who
Speaker 1: loves my kids. So it's like, you know, until we walk,
Speaker 1: you know, in somebody else's shoes, it's really easy to judge.
Speaker 1: And it might be that might be some of your
Speaker 1: own judgment too, because I know I did that to myself,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh my god, people are gonna
Speaker 1: think I'm a total loser, you know, I mean, go
Speaker 1: on the Bachelor, end up being divorced, and you know,
Speaker 1: because I actually met and married someone who wasn't on
Speaker 1: the show and we end up getting divorced. And it
Speaker 1: was you know obviously you know, public and all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and it sucked because I was pre
Speaker 1: judging me for everyone else. In my mind, I'm like,
Speaker 1: they probably think this of me when you know, I
Speaker 1: think I think we give ourselves a little too much
Speaker 1: pressure in that regard because everybody, I think is so
Speaker 1: worried about their own life right now that they don't
Speaker 1: really even have time to focus on yours, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So it's like I think, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, so it's almost easier for you to give
Speaker 1: yourself a break and just be like, look, man, I'm
Speaker 1: doing me now. I'm forty one, I'm single. I don't
Speaker 1: need a relationship. I don't need a man to make
Speaker 1: me happy. But I'm gonna make myself happy first and
Speaker 1: then who knows, you know, maybe I'll step into something
Speaker 1: that will be awesome. And um, that that really did
Speaker 1: happen to me. Like I met my wife, uh, my
Speaker 1: now wife, Um, I didn't want to be married. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm never getting me. I told her
Speaker 1: I was never getting married, and uh, that was clearly
Speaker 1: wrong because now I'm married with two kids, So I
Speaker 1: totally screwed that up. But I was so focused just
Speaker 1: on being happy with myself and not worrying about trying
Speaker 1: to find the next whatever. And I think, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I think that's that's a powerful position for you to
Speaker 1: be in. So you know, I think you shouldn't. You
Speaker 1: should try to celebrate it a little bit and give
Speaker 1: yourself a bit of a break. I hope that helps.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yes, you're welcome. It's nice talking
Speaker 1: to you. Thank you, Hey, Jada, thanks for calling Holman.
Speaker 1: Thank how are you I'm doing good. How are you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm doing pretty well today. Thanks. You have a question
Speaker 1: for me? They do? Um. So, I've been married for
Speaker 1: about five years now, and my husband and I we
Speaker 1: just had a baby girl, and she's beautiful and I
Speaker 1: love her. Uh, but lately I've been kind of feeling
Speaker 1: like my husband is pulling away because of course, like
Speaker 1: our priority has been around the baby. And yeah, we're
Speaker 1: just not as close like intimately as we as we
Speaker 1: used to be. So it's been an adjustment for both
Speaker 1: of us. And I just want to I want to
Speaker 1: get some advice on how to get the spark going again. Uh.
Speaker 1: Is this your first your first child? Yes? Okay? And
Speaker 1: how old is she? She's about six months now, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So yeah, so we're not too far off. I have
Speaker 1: a one year old just turned one. Um, baby boy.
Speaker 1: Maybe they'll meet someday, who knows, maybe they'll date. This
Speaker 1: would be amazing. Um, excuse me. And then I also
Speaker 1: have a three year old. You know, I mean it's tough,
Speaker 1: I'll say, honestly, you know, it's I don't think there's
Speaker 1: any boiler plate and for this, I mean, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, it's like you know, your priorities
Speaker 1: have shifted, and as they should, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: hard because you're you know, all of your time and
Speaker 1: energy and effort is going towards keeping this beautiful little
Speaker 1: baby alive and healthy. And you know, the baby doesn't
Speaker 1: care if you guys are gonna have you know, mommy
Speaker 1: and Daddy night date night, the babies starts crying date
Speaker 1: nights over, you know, And um, I mean my wife
Speaker 1: and I struggle with it too, I think, uh, I
Speaker 1: think everybody does you know? And um man, I this
Speaker 1: is gonna be uh maybe a terrible thing to say,
Speaker 1: but I love counseling, like therapy, and I never really
Speaker 1: did it. I grew up in the Midwest. It wasn't
Speaker 1: really something that you know, we did where I was
Speaker 1: from and where I grew up. And then I landed
Speaker 1: on the West Coast for a long time and there
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you have your therapist, and you
Speaker 1: have your chiropractor, and you have you know, everybody on
Speaker 1: speed dial. Um. But it's nice to get into a
Speaker 1: room with somebody and you can do it now, you know,
Speaker 1: post COVID, you can do it online. You can do
Speaker 1: an online session even where you you, you and your
Speaker 1: husband can just sit there and have someone else to
Speaker 1: talk to you about what's going on and how you're
Speaker 1: feeling and you know, what's bothering each of you, but
Speaker 1: also just what's concerning you, right, I mean, because everything
Speaker 1: that we get upset about or irritated by generally is
Speaker 1: driven from fear, right, whether it's fear of what's going
Speaker 1: to happen in the future, or fear of dealing with
Speaker 1: what we're dealing with, you know right now. I mean
Speaker 1: there's a million things. And like I said, I think
Speaker 1: every couple goes through it, especially when they have a child.
Speaker 1: So I don't think you're that far off. Um, but
Speaker 1: I also understand what you're saying. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you want to communicate better, and you want to you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, for for my wife and I are
Speaker 1: big thing was, you know, we wanted to learn how
Speaker 1: to disagree, learn how to fight, not not you know,
Speaker 1: fight fight, but like learn how to have an argument
Speaker 1: without just immediately shutting the other person down. And um,
Speaker 1: you know, and I think those kind of things come
Speaker 1: from frustration and exhaustion. I mean, you probably haven't slept
Speaker 1: well in a while, you know, because you've got a
Speaker 1: six month old, so I think, you know, give yourself
Speaker 1: a little bit of a break. I think I think
Speaker 1: you're you're you know, all you all you, each of
Speaker 1: you can do is as much as you can do.
Speaker 1: And if you know, if the if the relationship is
Speaker 1: worth the effort, which it sounds like it is, and
Speaker 1: you have a new baby and everything else, then it
Speaker 1: might be helpful to talk to somebody that will just
Speaker 1: listen to the two of you, not necessarily sit there
Speaker 1: and bitch about each other, but like to talk about
Speaker 1: you know, what's you know, what's causing you concern, and
Speaker 1: what's making you nervous, and what's making you upset, and
Speaker 1: you know, if you're feeling, uh like you want to
Speaker 1: be physical more than he is or vice versa, you know,
Speaker 1: what do we do about that? And you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'd love to say I had answers for that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, but at the end of the day, I
Speaker 1: think the biggest answer is just to to give yourself
Speaker 1: the freedom of knowing that you're kind of in the
Speaker 1: middle of this, you know, period of your life where
Speaker 1: things are changing rapidly and hugely, in that you know
Speaker 1: your guy's responsibility is no more just your commitment to
Speaker 1: each other, but as your commitment to your kid and
Speaker 1: then but you still can't forget about that commitment to
Speaker 1: each other either. So you know, my wife and I
Speaker 1: have struggled with it too. So I think you to
Speaker 1: know you're not alone. I hope that helps a little. Um,
Speaker 1: But other than that, you know, I would say, definitely
Speaker 1: try try to find someone to kind of bridge the
Speaker 1: gap for you guys conversationally, and maybe you'll be in
Speaker 1: a good spot where you can, you know, um, arrive
Speaker 1: at at something that works for both of you. You know. Awesome,
Speaker 1: Thank you, You're welcome. I hope it helps, it does
Speaker 1: I I think it will for sure. Awesome. Well, good
Speaker 1: luck with it. And next time I'm hosting this thing
Speaker 1: called back and we can talk about how it went,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you how it's going for me to Okay,
Speaker 1: that sounds good, all right, awesome, Thanks Jada, Thank you.
Speaker 1: Hi Delaney, you're on homn Think with Bob Guinny. How
Speaker 1: are you good? How are you? I'm doing well? Thanks?
Speaker 1: What are you calling in for today? What kind of
Speaker 1: questions you got? So? I'm single, but I've had a
Speaker 1: few instances where I've had amazing conversations with the guy
Speaker 1: while I was out and I feel like we connected
Speaker 1: and divided. But they've never asked for my number at
Speaker 1: the end of the night. And so I guess my
Speaker 1: question is if they don't ask for it, does that
Speaker 1: mean they aren't interested? And is it too forward to
Speaker 1: ask for their numbers? Is do you guys like that
Speaker 1: if we do? I think totally. I think you should
Speaker 1: totally ask for the numbers if you're if you're feeling
Speaker 1: a vibe from them, and you know, and there's a
Speaker 1: different way to do it too. You know. I had
Speaker 1: someone one time who I thought was it was pretty cool.
Speaker 1: She actually she said, let me see your phone and
Speaker 1: I was like what And she put my like her
Speaker 1: number in my phone and hit send and it like
Speaker 1: called her, you know, and she's like, Okay, now we
Speaker 1: have each other's numbers and um. And it was kind
Speaker 1: of cute and flirty and funny. Um. And it was
Speaker 1: it was a different way to do it, you know,
Speaker 1: but it was like it was kind of it was
Speaker 1: kind of cool because if it was for that moment,
Speaker 1: at least it worked for our situation. You know. It
Speaker 1: was casual and it was fun, and and it wasn't
Speaker 1: anything like you know, uh, it wasn't anything where it
Speaker 1: was like someone felt like they had to put something
Speaker 1: in their calendar to call on a certain date and
Speaker 1: you know, be held to the you know, to anything.
Speaker 1: But it was it was also cool though, because you know,
Speaker 1: later that night, like she texted, it was like, you know,
Speaker 1: it was a great meeting you tonight, blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you have a million phone numbers in
Speaker 1: your phone, my names, you know, Jenny or whatever. And
Speaker 1: it was like I was like, oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: so that's cool. You know, it was like a different
Speaker 1: way to go about it. So I don't think in
Speaker 1: and you know, in the life of the day we
Speaker 1: live in right now, I don't think it's it's too forward.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's you know, um out of place.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's if you're interested in someone and
Speaker 1: you know, you don't even know, I mean, they might
Speaker 1: be on dating apps, or you might be on dating
Speaker 1: apps or whatever. You know, there's could be a million
Speaker 1: different things that's pulling their attention and so you know,
Speaker 1: something like that is kind of a fun you know,
Speaker 1: like I said, like not really, uh, super kind of
Speaker 1: in your face way of giving each other a way
Speaker 1: to contact one another and kind of letting it go
Speaker 1: from there. You know. So if if one of you
Speaker 1: reaches out and the other one doesn't, well there you go.
Speaker 1: Now you have your answer, you know, um, and vice versa.
Speaker 1: But it's fun and it's playful enough that it's like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I I'll just say I really liked it.
Speaker 1: I thought it was a cool way to go and
Speaker 1: and um, and I ended up you know, uh, really
Speaker 1: we didn't end up together forever, but you know, we
Speaker 1: ended up getting to hang out a little bit and
Speaker 1: have some fun and um, and it was something that
Speaker 1: I thought was like a really redeeming quality of that person,
Speaker 1: you know, years later when I look back at it. So,
Speaker 1: I think that's a cool way to go. What do
Speaker 1: you think you think you would do it? Yeah? I mean,
Speaker 1: after hearing what you just said, I mean, why not? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of a fun thing too, because
Speaker 1: you know, you're you're not saying you're necessarily gonna call them,
Speaker 1: You're not saying you're you know, you're just saying, hey,
Speaker 1: this moment, I think you're kind of fun duty duty
Speaker 1: do and then you know, you might change your mind
Speaker 1: to meet somebody else ten minutes later that you like
Speaker 1: better and be like over that dude, you know so
Speaker 1: and another thing. So when you do that, I will
Speaker 1: tell you something that my wife does or did. And
Speaker 1: it's funny because you know, years later, she still has
Speaker 1: phone numbers in her phone of you know, dude she
Speaker 1: met or whatever, and she would always put like descriptors
Speaker 1: in there, so like if you know, it would be like,
Speaker 1: you know, she has a friend and her name is like,
Speaker 1: you know, Debbie, and it's like Debbie, party girl, you
Speaker 1: know whatever, blonde, you know, And so she has all
Speaker 1: these descriptors in her phone, and so when the person
Speaker 1: would call her, it would kind of like signify something
Speaker 1: that would make her remember that person, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: and that's something too, like you can walk away from
Speaker 1: that conversation and go to the bathroom or whatever and
Speaker 1: put that person in your context and be like, you know, Jim,
Speaker 1: you know dark hair, uh, you know BMX rider or
Speaker 1: something I don't know, and it's like, okay, now I
Speaker 1: remember you remember something from the conversation that will trigger
Speaker 1: you if you don't hear from him in like two weeks, um,
Speaker 1: you know, but it's also a cool way for you
Speaker 1: to kind of control the narrative to Yeah, I completely agree.
Speaker 1: So well, good luck with it. I hope it works.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. Take care. Hi, Kate, how are you good?
Speaker 1: How are you well? I'm doing great? Thanks? What do
Speaker 1: you guys? A question for me? Well, um, you know,
Speaker 1: just lately, um, my husband has been doing a lot
Speaker 1: of work. He's been working more you know, lots of overtime,
Speaker 1: late hours, and when he comes home, he's super like,
Speaker 1: like almost mean, he's agitated, he's stressed out, he's snapping
Speaker 1: at me and the kids, and it's just really irritating.
Speaker 1: And the thing is, he doesn't have to work late,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have to do all this overtime, but he
Speaker 1: says that he wants to do it because he's making
Speaker 1: extra money for us to be able to provide you know,
Speaker 1: like vacations and things for the house, things for the kids. Um.
Speaker 1: And so you know, I'm really torn about this because,
Speaker 1: you know, on one hand, I'm really grateful and appreciative
Speaker 1: that he wants to provide for us so that we
Speaker 1: can have all of these things, which is nice. But
Speaker 1: on the other hand. I feel like him providing and
Speaker 1: doing all this extra work so that we can have
Speaker 1: this stuff, which is nice to have, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: really matter to me. It's costing us emotionally because I
Speaker 1: almost hate it when he comes home because he's I
Speaker 1: know he's going to be grumpy and mean, and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't really know how to approach him and ask
Speaker 1: him to cut back, because I know he enjoys providing
Speaker 1: and it's something he wants to do, but it's I
Speaker 1: feel like it's costing us otherwise, So I just don't
Speaker 1: really know what to do at this point. Man. I
Speaker 1: feel like, literally, I feel like if I were like
Speaker 1: a fly on the wall right now listening to my
Speaker 1: wife talk about me, she might sound exactly the same way.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's it's one of those things
Speaker 1: like you go, you know, you think you're doing what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing and what you want to
Speaker 1: be doing, but for some reason, the people that you're
Speaker 1: doing it for, you're almost like, you know, uh, venting
Speaker 1: on them because you're doing it right. So it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, he might be feeling this pressure that he's
Speaker 1: creating for himself, which I know I do Um, I
Speaker 1: might just be a real a guy thing. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know I do this. I know I
Speaker 1: do these things. So I'm sorry. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's a good thing. You know, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of men that don't want to provide, but
Speaker 1: you know, at what costs though stuff? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: my wife's my wife has said that to me before,
Speaker 1: to like, you know, who cares if we have all this,
Speaker 1: we we still have to be good together. And that's
Speaker 1: a big it's a big component of it that you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes guys bury themselves and work for a million reasons,
Speaker 1: and you know, I think one of them is this
Speaker 1: sure that we put on ourselves to be the provider
Speaker 1: and to be the person that's you know, making sure
Speaker 1: everybody has what they need and you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about asking about this or that, you know, and
Speaker 1: or choosing between this and that. Um So, I mean
Speaker 1: I get that. I get where the pressure comes from.
Speaker 1: You know, it might be one of those things too
Speaker 1: where you know, uh, maybe have you guys talked about
Speaker 1: this at all, Like have you ever said, you know, hey,
Speaker 1: you seem really stressed when you come home. I get it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like you probably have. You seem
Speaker 1: like you're really willing to communicate. Yeah, but I mean
Speaker 1: it doesn't go well. I mean because I feel like
Speaker 1: I might accidentally be hurting his pride or his ego,
Speaker 1: and I'm it's not what I'm trying to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I just don't want him to burn out
Speaker 1: and lose our relationship and all this stuff in the process.
Speaker 1: So it's just delicate, delicate balance. Delicate balance, it really is,
Speaker 1: you know. I think I think it's hard, and it's
Speaker 1: hard from the standpoint of from where a guy is
Speaker 1: coming from too, because you're right, that could that could
Speaker 1: hurt his pride, that he's not able to do it
Speaker 1: all and do it all with a smile, you know,
Speaker 1: and um, you know from that perspective, like, you know,
Speaker 1: he might not even realize that he's being edgy and
Speaker 1: short and you know a little bit you know, temperamental,
Speaker 1: and he might not even realize that. And and then
Speaker 1: when you let him know, the initial reaction is probably
Speaker 1: going to be defensive, like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: You know what, I'm exhausted, I'm working my ass out,
Speaker 1: you know, And so it becomes one of these things.
Speaker 1: That's like a recurring argument that you know, it's like
Speaker 1: Groundhog Day, right, and you keep trying to, you know,
Speaker 1: wake up the next day and it's this exact same
Speaker 1: thing over and over and over again, and the only
Speaker 1: way to fix it is to break the cycle, you know.
Speaker 1: So um, whether it's you know, you're saying, you know, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: you know this next week you have this day and
Speaker 1: this day off, and maybe instead of and I know
Speaker 1: this is counterintuitive, but you know, maybe instead of us
Speaker 1: packing everything into those two days that you have off,
Speaker 1: just take the day, you know. And I get it.
Speaker 1: This sounds like a terrible piece of advice, but it
Speaker 1: will make him be like, oh my, I don't want that.
Speaker 1: I might he might think he wants that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know I think I want that. And then if
Speaker 1: my wife and my kids are going to like the
Speaker 1: zoo or something, I'm like, man, I want to go
Speaker 1: to the zoo with him. I don't want to not
Speaker 1: miss I don't want to miss out on that experience.
Speaker 1: And so, you know, it becomes kind of one of
Speaker 1: those things where you start looking within and and and
Speaker 1: you know, maybe it's just a way to hit the
Speaker 1: reset button for him. You know, is to realize that,
Speaker 1: you know, when he comes home and works all these
Speaker 1: extra hours and stuff, he's missing out on this great
Speaker 1: time with his kids as opposed to and his wife
Speaker 1: as opposed to you know, making an extra fifty bucks
Speaker 1: that day or hundred bucks that day, or whatever it
Speaker 1: might be. You know, I don't know. I mean, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, everybody's wired differently, and and
Speaker 1: you know, what makes them tick is going to be
Speaker 1: different than something that makes me tick. But I will
Speaker 1: say that that's something that has worked for me in
Speaker 1: the past when my wife will be like, you know,
Speaker 1: what's it all worth if you're not able to spend
Speaker 1: this time with us? And it hits me, you know,
Speaker 1: it really affects me. So you know, maybe that will
Speaker 1: be something that will work for you too. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I guess the only thing I can do is just
Speaker 1: give that a try and see if that maybe gets
Speaker 1: through to him, and you know, if we can start
Speaker 1: spark a change in him. Yeah, I mean, you know
Speaker 1: him better obviously than than than anybody. So it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, there might be a little twist here and there,
Speaker 1: or a little you know, uh, you know, something a
Speaker 1: little bit different that might work that you know, you
Speaker 1: can personalize that and make it your own. But I
Speaker 1: think it is kind of a nice feeling when the
Speaker 1: person that you love the most, who is you know,
Speaker 1: your wife and your kids, when it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: all they really want us to be with you, you know,
Speaker 1: it makes you kind of take a step back and
Speaker 1: go in, what am I doing all this for? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm like killing myself over you know, how much money,
Speaker 1: you know, is it ever enough? And it's never enough?
Speaker 1: So you know, at the end of the day, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe taking one or two of those days
Speaker 1: and not doing that over time, but instead getting to
Speaker 1: spend a little more time quality time with you and
Speaker 1: the kids. It will be a lot more beneficial in
Speaker 1: the long run. Well, I hope so. And like I said,
Speaker 1: that's uh, definitely something. I'll give it a try and
Speaker 1: we'll see how it works. And I appreciate the input
Speaker 1: on that. Um yeah, definitely, I hope it works out
Speaker 1: for you. All right, Thank you so much. Thank you.
Speaker 1: It's nice talking to you all right, you too, by
Speaker 1: bye bye? By Hi. Hey Patty? How are you, Um, well,
Speaker 1: how are you well? I'm doing pretty fantastic. Thanks thanks
Speaker 1: for calling in. So, my husband and I we have
Speaker 1: been married for a few years, and our parents always
Speaker 1: bring up when are we going to have kids? Parents
Speaker 1: talk about it, My mom talks about it. They're all
Speaker 1: excited to be grandparents. But I feel like we're not
Speaker 1: ready yet and we kind of just want to enjoy
Speaker 1: being married for a little bit longer. And so I'm
Speaker 1: so curious, how can we talk to them about this
Speaker 1: without offending them busting their dreams? Right now? I know,
Speaker 1: how long did you guys date before you get married?
Speaker 1: Five years? So you probably heard a ton When are
Speaker 1: you guys getting married? It doesn't stop. I know, it's
Speaker 1: it's this weird, crazy cycle. I used to say it
Speaker 1: all the time. My wife and I dated for three
Speaker 1: years before we got married, and then the three years,
Speaker 1: I'm I probably heard it like a thousand times, and
Speaker 1: then the second we got married, it's like, when do
Speaker 1: we et grandkids? And I remember saying to them, I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, back off, man, like you know, I
Speaker 1: made it funny, but I was just like, guys, you know,
Speaker 1: you busted our chops for you know, five years to
Speaker 1: get married. We finally were you know, we finally did it.
Speaker 1: We got married, and now we want to enjoy being
Speaker 1: married a little bit before we know we're on lockdown
Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years. So you know, give us
Speaker 1: a little breathing room here. And I think, you know,
Speaker 1: it's funny because I mean, I had kids so much
Speaker 1: later in life that I got I understood where the
Speaker 1: big rush was coming from there, Like, you know, hey, man,
Speaker 1: we only got so much time here as grandparents. Uh,
Speaker 1: with me waiting so long to have kids, I didn't
Speaker 1: have kids. I was forty seven, but um, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure unlike me, you're probably much younger than that.
Speaker 1: And you know, from that perspective, it's like, I think
Speaker 1: it's a fun there's a fun way to do it,
Speaker 1: you know, like uh, you know, maybe you could even
Speaker 1: say your your parents into his parents, you know, like
Speaker 1: find out how long they were married before they had kids.
Speaker 1: Hopefully it was a couple of years, you know, and um,
Speaker 1: and then you could say to them, well, hey, you
Speaker 1: and dad were married for four years before you had kids.
Speaker 1: And that was back in the you know whatever era
Speaker 1: when you know, everybody had kids right away and you guys,
Speaker 1: you know, waited three years or whatever. It is just
Speaker 1: to give yourself some you know, some some time and
Speaker 1: to give them some context, you know, because in their minds,
Speaker 1: all they can think of is, oh, man, we gotta
Speaker 1: have a grandkid right away. And I will say that,
Speaker 1: you know, one of the big things that my wife
Speaker 1: and I talked about all the time is that we
Speaker 1: both had time to you know, before we got together.
Speaker 1: I mean that we were we sold our oats, we
Speaker 1: had fun, we did whatever we're gonna do. Then we
Speaker 1: got married. It's like, now we get to have fun together.
Speaker 1: And we and we took a couple of years of
Speaker 1: doing that before we decided to have kids. And I'm
Speaker 1: really thankful that we did. We traveled a time, you know,
Speaker 1: we got a chance to do a bunch of fun things.
Speaker 1: And when did you get how long have you guys
Speaker 1: been married? Two years now? So you got married? Like
Speaker 1: what right? Right? During COVID? Oh yeah, yeah, we got
Speaker 1: the postphone. We just kind of did it ourselves. We
Speaker 1: went into the street, our parents were there. I was
Speaker 1: super small, but we were just like we're doing this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's awesome. But COVID sucked. You couldn't travel, you
Speaker 1: couldn't do all that kind of stuff. So I mean,
Speaker 1: if nothing else that buys you a buffer, you know,
Speaker 1: two years. I would think, like you could say, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: we got married during COVID, so all that fun stuff
Speaker 1: that you all got to do for honeymoons and everything else,
Speaker 1: we didn't get to do any of that crap. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna do it now and we're gonna enjoy ourselves,
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna make sure we're in the right
Speaker 1: place to have kids, because you know, COVID really screwed
Speaker 1: up everything. And I think that kind of makes sense
Speaker 1: some time, right, like, yeah, let's just comp it down
Speaker 1: and let's have fun because they know what happens to
Speaker 1: our wedding, so yeah, exactly. And then the beauty of
Speaker 1: it is too like they'll quit, they'll quit asking, and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, you'll be a surprise again
Speaker 1: because they'll think they're not supposed to ask, and you'll
Speaker 1: be like, hey, guys, guess what. Boom, and they'll be
Speaker 1: fired all fired up again and you know, no time,
Speaker 1: so you'll be all good, Thank you so much, You're welcome,
Speaker 1: good luck. All right. So that was our call in questions,
Speaker 1: which was very very fun for me. I actually had
Speaker 1: a great time. Thank you, all for calling in and
Speaker 1: for listening to the show. We're gonna take a really
Speaker 1: quick break and we come back. We got a little
Speaker 1: bit more cute and a and uh, and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna put a big bow on this thing. So thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to How Men. Think. We'll be right back,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to how Men. Thank I am Bob, getting
Speaker 1: your guest host for the week. Now. I got some
Speaker 1: questions here that I think are pretty good, and so
Speaker 1: I want to kind of try to tackle a few
Speaker 1: of them. Um, as a father of two, what advice
Speaker 1: would you give new parents? So I kind of touched
Speaker 1: on this earlier in the show that, Um, I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like I was really qualified just because I have
Speaker 1: kids to give parenting advice. UM, but I could give
Speaker 1: it from a different type of scope, which is because
Speaker 1: I think everyone's gonna parent differently and um, and so
Speaker 1: what I was thinking was, uh, you know, and I
Speaker 1: said this earlier in the show too, was you know,
Speaker 1: my advice if I actually the people who aren't parents
Speaker 1: or who are becoming parents or want to become parents
Speaker 1: in the future, UM, to you know, kind of take
Speaker 1: a step back and not be so judging of people
Speaker 1: who are new parents because I was. I think, like
Speaker 1: I look, I look at you know, restaurants and looking
Speaker 1: across the table and seeing someone you know, with a
Speaker 1: kid in an iPad, and my mind is like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, why, you know, why aren't they talking? You know,
Speaker 1: you don't need an iPad at the table, but when
Speaker 1: you're in a restaurant, I'm just gonna say it, I
Speaker 1: need an iPad at that table at some point or another.
Speaker 1: I want my kid to just relax. Quit saying he
Speaker 1: has to go to the bathroom forty three times, Quit
Speaker 1: trying to get up and run around the restaurant and
Speaker 1: me having to basically try and discipline him. If he's
Speaker 1: gonna sit there and you know, watch something on on
Speaker 1: the screen, so be it. If I can have half
Speaker 1: an hour and not even fifteen minutes, whatever it is, um.
Speaker 1: And that's something that I think is uh more of
Speaker 1: just maybe it's age, you know, maybe it's just time
Speaker 1: with kids. I'm not sure, um, but it's something that
Speaker 1: I think is is pretty good advice from the perspective of,
Speaker 1: you know, um, don't be so judgy, just sort of
Speaker 1: take a step back and let people live. You know,
Speaker 1: it's been a rough couple of years with COVID and
Speaker 1: everything else. It's like the last thing you need is
Speaker 1: are your peers. You know, ran down a bunch of
Speaker 1: refan you because you're you're doing something different than they
Speaker 1: might do. So um, live and let lift. Uh that's
Speaker 1: that's what I say. Alright, I've been married since what
Speaker 1: advice would I give a newly wed? Um? You know
Speaker 1: this is this is an interesting one for me because
Speaker 1: I feel like when my wife and I first got married, Um,
Speaker 1: I was given some really good advice, which was to
Speaker 1: take a moment to stop and just sort of smell
Speaker 1: the roses for a minute. No bachelor pun intended right there,
Speaker 1: but um, just sort of take a minute, soak it
Speaker 1: all in, look around, and really kind of enjoy the
Speaker 1: moment with with your person, you know, um, because life
Speaker 1: moves fast and and you know, ship happens, as they say,
Speaker 1: things happen, and you're gonna end up in uh, you know,
Speaker 1: a tornado of you know, people pulling you in a
Speaker 1: million different directions the second you get home from this moment,
Speaker 1: and so really soak it in and just breathe it
Speaker 1: in for a minute and enjoy one another's company and
Speaker 1: and that minute extends. I mean I'm not saying I'm saying, like,
Speaker 1: give yourself a couple of months where you're basically like, yes,
Speaker 1: we are newlyweds. Let's let's drink it in, Let's enjoy
Speaker 1: each other's company. Let's really get to know each other
Speaker 1: as a married couple. Because things do change, the dynamic
Speaker 1: does change. Um, and you know, enjoy that that moment
Speaker 1: that you have together, which takes me my next question,
Speaker 1: which is do you feel as you evolve your marriage
Speaker 1: should evolve as well? If so, how do you evolve together? Um? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do think as you grow, your marriage grows, um
Speaker 1: for better or for worse. Right, that's part of the
Speaker 1: whole thing when you say your vows for better or
Speaker 1: for worse. Um. And you know, uh, I think acknowledging
Speaker 1: your role in it and knowing where you're at with
Speaker 1: things and trying to make it better is really all
Speaker 1: you can do. And so you need to evolve. You
Speaker 1: need to know that you're especially if you have kids
Speaker 1: and things like that, your partners needs change and so
Speaker 1: to yours. And so you know, you've got to be
Speaker 1: willing to sort of not be so critical or or
Speaker 1: also not be so regimented that you're sticking with exactly
Speaker 1: what it used to be, because nothing is what it
Speaker 1: used to be. That's why it's called it used to
Speaker 1: be right, it's it's past. So all you gotta do
Speaker 1: is try to really work hard on creating the future
Speaker 1: feelings that you're gonna have for that. So that's that's
Speaker 1: the goal that I have for that moving forward. Just
Speaker 1: realized I'm always right. My wife just brought me lunch,
Speaker 1: how wonderful and told me she's always right, which is awesome. True,
Speaker 1: She's always right. Um, And then I'll answer one more
Speaker 1: of these. I think it'd be kind of fun. Um,
Speaker 1: how did you and Jessica meet? And how did you
Speaker 1: pursue her? This is awesome because I don't really feel
Speaker 1: like I get to tell this answer enough. So we
Speaker 1: met through a friend. I actually used to have a
Speaker 1: radio show on Sirius XM several years ago, and my
Speaker 1: co host introduced us at a a thing while she
Speaker 1: was trying to set me up with her other friend. Actually,
Speaker 1: and so I was kind of, you know, being all
Speaker 1: flirty and stupid like I do with her other friend,
Speaker 1: and then the other friend kind of got annoying and
Speaker 1: weird and um, my wife, I call her Canyon because
Speaker 1: it's her maiden name. Her name is Jessica. But I
Speaker 1: always so I was calling her Canyon because there was
Speaker 1: like three Jessicas in my life at that time, and
Speaker 1: um too that I was dating and then my co host.
Speaker 1: But it's a lot I was. I was always honest
Speaker 1: about it up front that I was not, you know,
Speaker 1: looking to settle down. But anyway, I called her Canyon,
Speaker 1: so I could you know, differentiate. But it actually became
Speaker 1: a thing with her where she was so much fun
Speaker 1: and just you know, just basically so different than the
Speaker 1: person that they were trying to set me up with
Speaker 1: that I was more drawn to her and so, um
Speaker 1: it was very casual for a while there and then um,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden it wasn't. And it was one
Speaker 1: of those things where it was kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't think I wanted to get married again. Um,
Speaker 1: I was pretty much resigned to the fact that I
Speaker 1: probably wasn't gonna have kids or anything. And uh, next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, I realized she was someone that I wanted
Speaker 1: to have a family with, and um, she gave me
Speaker 1: the opportunity to be a dad. And here I am,
Speaker 1: and it's the best thing that's ever happened. So, UM,
Speaker 1: you know, I'll save you the details of how I
Speaker 1: pursued her precisely, but uh, I'll just say that it
Speaker 1: was it was something that I walked into. It wasn't
Speaker 1: something that I was deliberately going after. And um, I
Speaker 1: think the fact that you know it was a little
Speaker 1: less of attempted relationship or a little less design I'm
Speaker 1: getting into a relationship that made it work for us,
Speaker 1: because I really thought I wasn't gonna be in that situation.
Speaker 1: So very glad to be in it. So all right, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to How a Man Think.
Speaker 1: It's my first episode as your guest host. I've had
Speaker 1: a great day. I hope you guys have fun too. Um,
Speaker 1: thank you for all the questions and for the callers.
Speaker 1: It was awesome to interact with you guys. I will
Speaker 1: tell you you know, I used to always say do
Speaker 1: as I say, not as I've done, because I was
Speaker 1: a divorce guy. And um, but now you know, I've
Speaker 1: been married six years, so I guess you can do
Speaker 1: as I say and uh, not as I've done. If
Speaker 1: you like what you heard, you know, hopefully they'll have
Speaker 1: me back to guest host again sometime soon. But you
Speaker 1: can also catch us on Almost Famous the o G
Speaker 1: Podcast with Trista sutter U, the original Bachelorette, and myself
Speaker 1: and we call ourselves the godfather and god Mother of
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation. So if you have any design on that show,
Speaker 1: make sure you listen in because we have no idea
Speaker 1: what's going on nowadays, but we talk about the good
Speaker 1: old days, um and everything in that uh, in that reflection.
Speaker 1: So it's been great talking with you guys. You can
Speaker 1: check me on Instagram at Bob Guinea, Twitter, Facebook, all
Speaker 1: that good stuff is the same. But until next time,
Speaker 1: have a great day. And uh, I hope I was
Speaker 1: able to help tell you how men actually think. This
Speaker 1: is how men think and I Heart Radio London Audio Production.
Speaker 1: Listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple
Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.