1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: is How Men Think? And I heard radio podcast. Hey, 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: everybody's Bob guinea here. Welcome to How Men Think. I 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: am your guest host for the show this week, which 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: I'm very excited about. Um, very proud to be here. 6 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: I think I was on one of the early episodes 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: of How Men Think. And I will tell you the 8 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: early answer to How Men Think is is not enough. 9 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: It's it's never enough. Men don't think much at all, 10 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: at least I don't. And so I'm proud to be here, 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: excited to go through my thought processes with you on 12 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: everything that has anything to do with relationships and all 13 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: the things I seem to be really bad at. Um. Anyway, 14 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: I'm Bob Guiney. UM. You probably know me, if you 15 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: know me at all, from The Bachelor stuff, which is 16 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: a long, long, long time ago. Um, pre Ben Higgins. 17 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: So it's like it's like p b h pre pre 18 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: Ben Higgins or post Ben Higgins, is how I look 19 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: at it. I'm in the pre era, so before Jason Mesnick. 20 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: I mean it goes way back, guys, before Jessie Palmer 21 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 1: who's now hosting The Bachelor. To give you an idea. Um, 22 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: but I was on the first season of The Bachelorette 23 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: actually with Trista, and then they gave me my own 24 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: season of The Bachelor right after that, and um that 25 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: was season four. So to give you an idea, I 26 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: think we're at season like sixty one right now the Bachelor. 27 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: So pretty crazy stuff, um, but a lot of fun. 28 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,959 Speaker 1: Not much has changed on the format of the show 29 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: from then to now. Then it was in black and white, 30 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 1: now it's in technicolor. So other than that, I think 31 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: we're pretty good. Um. But also went on to host 32 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,959 Speaker 1: a segment on the Today's show called the mentel All Panel, 33 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: which I think really primes me perfectly for hosting the 34 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: show today. For what men think, We're gonna have some fun. 35 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: We're gonna answer some questions and then we're gonna open 36 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: it up test some live callers Colin and Haze me, 37 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: which would be enjoyable and um, and that's kind of 38 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: thing we're gonna do today, So it's gonna be great. Um. 39 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: I will let you guys know ahead of time. I 40 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: am married now no longer a bachelor, even though I 41 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: still get called Bachelor Bob all the time from all 42 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: the stuff I got to do with Oprah and she 43 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: would always say Bachelor Bob as she would do, and uh, 44 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: it seems like that one stuck. So everywhere I go 45 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, pizza for Bachelor Bob. I'm like, thanks, guys, 46 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Um, but I wanted to do 47 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: some questions. We want to do some questions so that 48 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: you guys could get an idea to know a little 49 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: bit about me. So, um, what are you known for? 50 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: Tell us about yourself. I think I handled that right 51 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: mostly Bachelor Stuff. Hosted a bunch of home renovation shows 52 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,160 Speaker 1: over the years. I was also musician, playing a band 53 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: called Band from TV, which is made up of Hugh 54 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: Laurie from House who's Doctor House, Jesse Spencer, who was 55 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 1: also on House at one time but they became Lieutenant 56 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: Casey on Chicago Fire. And then if you're a sci 57 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: fi lover, we've got Scott Grimes from the Orville who's 58 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: in the band, and myself a bunch of guys from Heroes, 59 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,839 Speaker 1: the old TV show Heroes. I mean, there's a there's 60 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: a ton of people that kind of rattle around inside 61 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,519 Speaker 1: the band. But the coolest thing is we give it 62 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: all a charity. So we'll play all these corporate gigs 63 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: for all these different places, and we'll give all that 64 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: money to charity, which is a lot of fun. So 65 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: my charity is the Children's Hospital Los Angeles and Lucas 66 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: l A, which are two causes that means something to me. 67 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: And uh, Children's Hospital I started supporting even before I 68 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: had kids. Um and UM. I really just always felt 69 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: like kids shouldn't have to worry about medicine and stuff. 70 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: They should play and have fun and be a kid. 71 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: So now that I have kids, I can tell you 72 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: that that actually resonates with me even more now than 73 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: it did when I first started supporting these charities. And um, 74 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: I have a three and a half year old whose 75 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: name is Grayson, and I have an eleven month old 76 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: or no, I'm sorry, he's still he just turned one. 77 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,839 Speaker 1: He just turned one last week, so don't tell my wife. 78 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: I said that I have a one year old named 79 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: Blake and uh. And I waited until I was forty 80 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: seven to have kids intentionally, which I'm totally kidding because 81 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 1: it wasn't intentional. But uh, now I'm I'm older than that. Obviously, 82 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: I'm fifty one and I got two kids under the 83 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: age of four. So it's kind of kind of bananas 84 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: to have that going on at this stage in the game, 85 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: especially when I went into Ralph's to buy some some 86 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: booze and really, you know, uh cute lady there taken, 87 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: you know, and she's like, oh, I need to see 88 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: your ID. I'm sorry, you know. So I hand her 89 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: my idea and she looks at it and at first 90 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: I thought, oh, my god, you know, she's she's really cute. 91 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: And then uh, she's like, oh my god, you the 92 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: same age as my dad. And that stressed me out, 93 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: caused me shame, and uh, you know, I've been binge 94 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: eating ever since, so you know, I eat my feelings. 95 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: So anyway, that's where we are with that one. UM 96 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: married for uh let's see, married for for or six 97 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: years and m yeah, So I just moved back to Detroit, 98 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 1: which is my hometown. UM had been living on the 99 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: West coas US for the last twenty some years, and 100 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: I wanted to move back home and to be closer 101 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: to my family, and uh, in the process, UH lost 102 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: my dad when I moved back home, and I was 103 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: thankful to be here, uh to be with him, and 104 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: so uh, that's it for my personal life. Um, as 105 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: far as it goes. Uh, three shows I'm binge watching. Alright, 106 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: three shows I'm bene watching. I got a couple for 107 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: you right now. One Queen of the South. Awesome show. 108 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: I am hardcore watching that one. I'm kind of deep 109 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: on it right now. I'm almost to the last season. 110 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: So I then started rewatching or re binge watching ted Lasso, 111 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: which I love. I love that show. Also up for 112 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: twenty Emmy nominations, by the way, just as a sidebar 113 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: for you, very deserving, I think, Um, those are the 114 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: two that I'm bene watching. I don't think I have 115 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 1: a third right now. I'll have to find a third 116 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: for you. But Queen of the South. I highly recommended 117 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 1: ted Lasso if you haven't heard of it, Like, dude, 118 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 1: what's up? Honestly, it's a huge show and very amazing. 119 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: And um I did finish. Oh god, what was the show? 120 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: I just finished? Um? Oh, Outer Banks, which a little embarrassing, 121 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: a little embarrassed, admit that one. It's sort of like 122 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, Saved by the Bell reboot but on an island, um, 123 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: but still gripping, awesome cast, good show. So there's three 124 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: shows favorite food. Um, I gotta go Mexican on this one. 125 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: I'm a huge lover of all things nacho related, even 126 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: breakfast nachos, which some might know are called Chilea kles. 127 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 1: But I have actually happened to love Mexican food. And 128 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: but I really don't find too many foods that I 129 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: don't love. Clearly, unlike one of the former hosts of 130 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: the show, I am not the most fit man in America. 131 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 1: He was ripped and yoked and I like to rip 132 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,920 Speaker 1: bread and shove it in my mouth and eat yolks 133 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: of eggs. A career, yeah, so my career UM started 134 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: off with music. Was really lucky. UM signed a record 135 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: deal right out of college. This is way back in 136 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: the day, and as a result, that's how the people 137 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: from The Bachelor found me, and Um, I was one 138 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: of the people that I never auditioned for The Bachelor. 139 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: I actually, uh, I wouldn't have thought of myself in 140 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: that in that regard, so they approached me. Well, actually, 141 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: my a couple of people at a company I worked 142 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: with submitted my information about me knowing it, so by 143 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: the time they flew me out there, it was like 144 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: it was two weeks before the show started a month 145 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: before the show started, and that was for Trista this season. 146 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: But that kick started my career and then um, obviously, 147 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: then The Bachelor came after that, and then Oprah was 148 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 1: a big fan of the show at the time, and 149 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 1: Oprah I thought I was funny. So Oprah made me 150 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: her Man on the Street and I did a bunch 151 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: of segments with her, did her show a ton and 152 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: um it was pretty awesome. Uh kind of learned how 153 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: to do interviews from doing the Oprah Show basically, and 154 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: uh from there, it kind of launched me to work 155 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: for The View, which at the time was a much 156 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: different show than it is today. Um, a lot less political, 157 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: a lot more fun, I think, um. And so I 158 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: went to work with The View the ABC daytime for 159 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: several years, and then I started hosting a bunch of 160 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: HDTV stuff and UM TLC and you name the network. 161 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: I was probably on it at some point doing a 162 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: show that is very forgetful. But I had a long 163 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: string of those game shows. UM never you know, obviously 164 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: never left music and stayed with the band from TV 165 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: stuff and UM, so yeah, it's been pretty rewarding. Now 166 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: I actually host a deal or no deal, which I 167 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: don't know if you guys remember that show with Howie 168 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: Mandel and the twenty briefcase models back in the day. 169 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 1: And so now I'm hosting that as well, which is 170 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: a reboot of that, and there's a live version of 171 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: that which is pretty cool. And um, on top of that, 172 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: you know, trying to hold down my day job, which 173 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: I also never quit, so I stayed. I never just 174 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: left for entertainment, even when I was doing all the 175 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: other stuff. I always kept my uh my feet in 176 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,959 Speaker 1: the finance world. And so I still kick around there 177 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: quite a bit, um with a bunch of great companies 178 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: and in one in particular, uh called Lincoln Financial, which 179 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 1: is a great company and allows me a lot of flexibility. 180 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: They're very nice. My biggest fear in life, Okay, this 181 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,400 Speaker 1: is one I think is is very telling, right, So 182 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: I would say at one point I would have said 183 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:27,000 Speaker 1: clowns who were kidding. Clowns are terrifying. There's nothing even 184 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: funny about a clown. It's just scary as hell. But 185 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: now that I have kids, um, I mean god, I 186 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: mean the list goes on, right, I mean from fear now, 187 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: like the biggest fear I have now is is something 188 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: happening to one of my kids or you know, not 189 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,719 Speaker 1: being there when the scary part of Mowana comes on. 190 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of things to be concerned 191 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: about as a dad, so I'm dialed into that stuff now. 192 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: But I say, clowns are still probably on my list 193 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: pretty you know, top three easy. Biggest pet peeve I 194 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: got so many. I fly a lot, I travel a lot, 195 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: and um, I hate sitting next to people wearing flip flops. 196 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: Drives me crazy. I don't know why. I don't really 197 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: know why I'm so irritated by it. Um. But it's 198 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: also a very gender specific thing. The lady has nice 199 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: feet and is wearing flip flops. I don't have a 200 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 1: problem if a dude gets on the plane with a 201 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,559 Speaker 1: flip flop. I needed, I need to move my seat, 202 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: you know. And I would literally go from first class 203 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: to the back of the plane if I if I 204 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: had to sit next to some dude with stinky feet. Um, 205 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: that's that's probably it. What makes me the most happy? 206 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,839 Speaker 1: Oh man, so many things, uh, you know, I mean 207 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: a nice tetos and soda with lemon always makes me happy. Um. 208 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 1: Of course, you know, as a dad, I say my kids, 209 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: I probably top of the list. They probably usurp the 210 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: tetos and soda with lemon um, but I would say 211 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: it's a pretty close second. Just kidding. What is my 212 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: ideal Saturday morning? This again, this is one of the 213 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,440 Speaker 1: things so I used to always say, even when I 214 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: was a bachelor, I had this thing where I was like, 215 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: you know, what's your perfect Sunday morning? For me, it 216 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,319 Speaker 1: was all about Sunday mornings because I had a thing 217 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 1: back then called no talk Sundays, and I loved them. 218 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: I love them single dude. You know, I just I 219 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 1: didn't want to have to have conversations with people on Sundays. 220 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: I wasn't going to brunch on a Sunday. I just 221 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: wanted to be on the couch or in the pool 222 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: or whatever and not have to deal with a bunch 223 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: of drama. You know. So I was always like, I 224 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 1: think Sundays, on the seventh day, I'll rest and I 225 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: will allow myself to not have to speak to anybody. 226 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: And so that would still be an ideal day um 227 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,599 Speaker 1: to have occasionally. And for someone who really loves to 228 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: talk like I do, that's probably shocking to uh, to 229 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: anyone who knows me. But I actually do kind of 230 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: love having those days that are you know, no talk days. 231 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: But um, yeah, I'd say this probably still resonates. And 232 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: then I would also say, now, you know, uh, if 233 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: the kids would sleep in, that would be an ideal 234 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: Saturday morning or Sunday morning. Right now, both my both 235 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: my ons, uh, you know, they're they're fidgety and making 236 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: some noise at like six am every day. So needless 237 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: to say, a few extra titoes and sodas the night 238 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: before don't really have you feeling super good at six am, 239 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: and especially when you aren't just waking up and lounging, 240 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: you're waking up and going after it, you know, like kids. 241 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 1: That's the one thing I learned at my right page 242 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: is that kids don't really have like a chill button. 243 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: They wake up at six am and it's you know, 244 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 1: full speed ahead. They want to play, they want to 245 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: go outside, they want to you know, take a car ride, 246 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: they want to you know, wrestle. I mean, it's it's endless, 247 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,120 Speaker 1: it's awesome, but it's definitely not something for the faint 248 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: of heart. Are you more of the athlete or the 249 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: armshare quarterback? So I was an athlete my whole life. 250 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: I played football in college and played a bunch of 251 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,959 Speaker 1: sports previous to that, and UM, considered myself still a 252 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: pretty good athlete. I guess up until a few years ago, UM, 253 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: when I just my body just started falling. Apart from 254 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: all the needs, surgeries and everything else, but I would 255 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: say I was definitely an athlete for the longest period 256 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,959 Speaker 1: of time. And now I'm probably a little mix of both. 257 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: Like right now, I'm trying to get myself into pickleball 258 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: and h I'm very judgy of other pickle ballers. Uh. 259 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: You know, I've only played once, but I still think 260 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: I'm super good at it. Um basketball, love to play basketball, 261 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: still love to throw the football around, trying to get 262 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: my son to, you know, play t ball with me, 263 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 1: and uh, but I think when I think about myself 264 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 1: as an athlete now, I'm probably more of a a 265 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: you know, what do you call it? Be a bag 266 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:36,200 Speaker 1: thrower like cornhole? Right, so, um that's my sport now bowling, 267 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: although I don't bowl, but if I did, that would 268 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: be a good one. Lawn darts, you know, low impact, uh, 269 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,880 Speaker 1: loll im pet and uh, high scoring potential. What keeps 270 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: you motivated. Um, I've always been a pretty motivated person, 271 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: so I'm someone who's I'm very self motivated. Um. I 272 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 1: like to think that, you know, I'm getting out of 273 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 1: bed every day, I'm gonna do something fun. If it's 274 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 1: not fun, why do it. It's kind of always been 275 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: my mantra um. But you know, now having children, and 276 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: you know, I think it's gonna be awesome. It's gonna 277 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 1: keep me young. Right, I'm still gonna look like their 278 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 1: grandpa t ball games or softball games or baseball games, 279 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: whatever sports they play as I get older, which is 280 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: just gonna happen, right. You know, I'm gonna be like 281 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: the my ten year olds game. They'll be like, oh yeah, 282 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: Grandpa is so nice coming to all these games. My 283 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: walker was like, no, that's that's my dad. Um, So 284 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: that's gonna be my life regardless. But um, you know, 285 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: I think it's gonna keep me young at heart anyway. 286 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: I mean, so if nothing else, I'm gonna you know, 287 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: remain active enough, uh to have you know, two boys 288 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: at least until they're both eighteen. So that gives me, 289 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: that gives me tom seventy ish close to it anyway. 290 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say that's a pretty big motivator. 291 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: You know, I want my kids to have things that 292 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: I didn't have as a kid, which, um, frankly, I 293 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: had had amazing parents, an amazing family. I didn't want 294 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: for much. But you know, the times are changing, so 295 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: I gotta get you know, I gotta get an iPhone 296 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: in first grade. I guess, I don't know. I don't 297 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: know what the deal is. I'm trying to find like 298 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: a manual on that because I think it might be 299 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: a little early first grade, you know, maybe sixth grade, 300 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: seventh grade, tenth grade. I don't really know. I'd like 301 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: to know. I'd like to know what all the parents 302 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: out there think. Um, but uh yeah, that's what I 303 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: would say. Keeps me motivated, are uh is keeping up 304 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: with my kids and making sure that you know, they 305 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: still will listen to me even if I can't hear 306 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: them properly. So all right, so that's our eleven questions 307 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: with me. That's the top of the show here for 308 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 1: how men think. And we're gonna take a quick break 309 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: and when we come back, we're gonna take some questions 310 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 1: from some of you all, So stick with us, everybody, 311 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: Welcome back. To How Men Think. I am your guest 312 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: host for the week, Bob Guinea. We are very excited. 313 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: We got some live callers calling in to ask me 314 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 1: some questions, and I don't know what they are. I'm 315 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: gonna try and do my very best to answer them 316 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: honestly or not, depending on the question, but you're never 317 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: gonna know the difference, so I guess it doesn't matter. 318 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, we're back here with How Men Think. Let's 319 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: go to our first caller calling in. Her name is 320 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: Joe Anne. Hi, Jolianne. How are you? I'm great. How 321 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: are you doing, Bob? I'm doing great. Thanks for calling 322 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: into How Men Think? I mean, this is I guess 323 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 1: it's unusual that I would expect it to I thought 324 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: it would have been a guy calling. I don't know 325 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: why it doesn't. I should have expected a woman. So 326 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: thanks for colin. I mean, we're trying to find out 327 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: how men think here, right, So let me hopefully I 328 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: can answer your questions. So what do you got for me? Well, 329 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 1: I am divorced in my forties and I just don't 330 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: know if like men are interested like dating someone like me. 331 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: I'm for you one, No kids, are people interested in that? 332 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: In addition to that, are they like, how do I 333 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: get in the dating game? I literally have no idea 334 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: how to navigate any of this. Yeah, and how long 335 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 1: were you married before you get divorced? We were married 336 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: for ten years? Okay, so you got married at what 337 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: thirty one? Right? And got divorced at for any one? 338 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 1: You know? I mean honestly, I happened to also be 339 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: a previously divorced person, and I can honestly say sometimes 340 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 1: life begins after divorce, you know what I mean? So 341 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 1: I think you'd be I think you'd be doing yourself 342 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: a disservice by trying to, like, you know, pigeonhole yourself 343 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,359 Speaker 1: as do people want to date someone like me? I'm 344 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: forty want to divorced. I mean more than of the 345 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 1: population is divorced or has been divorced, right, So I 346 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,880 Speaker 1: get it, though, you feel like when you go through 347 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: a divorce, if you're anything like me, even if you 348 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 1: wanted the divorce, you still feel like a bit of 349 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: a like you failed at something you know, or you 350 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: feel like you have this stigma about you because maybe 351 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,879 Speaker 1: you're the only person in your family immediate family that 352 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: got divorced and everyone else has stayed together or whatever 353 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 1: that was the case with me anyway, was you know, 354 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: my sister and brother in law have been together like 355 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: thirty some years. My parents, you know, we celebrated their 356 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: fifty sixth wedding anniversary before my dad passed. And it's like, 357 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 1: you know, and here I was, you know, getting divorced, 358 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,880 Speaker 1: you know, and UM, but I feel like life kind 359 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,600 Speaker 1: of begins a little bit after that because you know, 360 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: now you know what you want and you know who 361 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 1: you are, and you're really comfortable, I would think, or 362 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 1: at least if you're not, then that's your first thing 363 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: to do is get comfortable, you know, get comfortable with 364 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: yourself because you know, UM, the best part about this 365 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: and I say this as someone who I was also 366 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: divorced without kids, that's that's a good thing, um, because 367 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,120 Speaker 1: you know, one of the things that UM, I think 368 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: would have been hard for me, and this is just 369 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 1: speaking personally if I did have kids with one of 370 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: my access was having that relationship kind of continue in 371 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: my life while I was trying to find you know, 372 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,479 Speaker 1: trying to have a new one. And UM, I mean, 373 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,919 Speaker 1: are you like that? Would you think you would have 374 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: felt that same way? Because it is almost like a 375 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: burden released that you don't you didn't have kids previously. 376 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,080 Speaker 1: I feel like that is the case, just because my 377 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: relationship was definitely tumultuous, so I don't know if the 378 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: co parenting thing would have worked out. But at the 379 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: same time, you know how people have that judgment on 380 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: your this age, you've been married and you don't have kids. 381 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:18,760 Speaker 1: That's weird. Yeah, people judge everything. People suck to a 382 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: certain degree. And I don't know if I can say that, 383 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 1: but I would say that that is kind of true 384 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: because everybody lives in this glass house and there, you know. 385 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: I mean I can say this. I I just did 386 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: this article for some magazine recently. I can't remember what 387 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,879 Speaker 1: it was. And they asked me, like, you know, if 388 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 1: you had advice to give to a um, to a parent, 389 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 1: what would your vice be, And and I said, actually, 390 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: my vice wouldn't be to parents. My advice with people 391 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 1: who aren't parents. Stop judging parents. You know, Like it's tough, right, 392 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 1: Like you you go to a restaurant and you sit 393 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: down and you see some kids sitting there with an 394 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: iPad and you're like, oh my god, if my kid 395 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,159 Speaker 1: will never do that. Uh, yeah, they will, and you 396 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: want them to do that so you can have like 397 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 1: five minutes to eat your spaghetti because your kid is 398 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 1: driving you bananas. And I say that as someone who 399 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: loves my kids. So it's like, you know, until we walk, 400 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: you know, in somebody else's shoes, it's really easy to judge. 401 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: And it might be that might be some of your 402 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,640 Speaker 1: own judgment too, because I know I did that to myself, 403 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: Like I was like, oh my god, people are gonna 404 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: think I'm a total loser, you know, I mean, go 405 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 1: on the Bachelor, end up being divorced, and you know, 406 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 1: because I actually met and married someone who wasn't on 407 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: the show and we end up getting divorced. And it 408 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: was you know obviously you know, public and all that 409 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and it sucked because I was pre 410 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: judging me for everyone else. In my mind, I'm like, 411 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 1: they probably think this of me when you know, I 412 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: think I think we give ourselves a little too much 413 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: pressure in that regard because everybody, I think is so 414 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: worried about their own life right now that they don't 415 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 1: really even have time to focus on yours, you know 416 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: what I mean. So it's like I think, I mean, 417 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: you know, so it's almost easier for you to give 418 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: yourself a break and just be like, look, man, I'm 419 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,960 Speaker 1: doing me now. I'm forty one, I'm single. I don't 420 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: need a relationship. I don't need a man to make 421 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 1: me happy. But I'm gonna make myself happy first and 422 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: then who knows, you know, maybe I'll step into something 423 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: that will be awesome. And um, that that really did 424 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: happen to me. Like I met my wife, uh, my 425 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,439 Speaker 1: now wife, Um, I didn't want to be married. I 426 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:06,919 Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'm never getting me. I told her 427 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 1: I was never getting married, and uh, that was clearly 428 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: wrong because now I'm married with two kids, So I 429 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: totally screwed that up. But I was so focused just 430 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: on being happy with myself and not worrying about trying 431 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: to find the next whatever. And I think, um, you know, 432 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: I think that's that's a powerful position for you to 433 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: be in. So you know, I think you shouldn't. You 434 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 1: should try to celebrate it a little bit and give 435 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: yourself a bit of a break. I hope that helps. 436 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yes, you're welcome. It's nice talking 437 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: to you. Thank you, Hey, Jada, thanks for calling Holman. 438 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: Thank how are you I'm doing good. How are you doing. 439 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 1: I'm doing pretty well today. Thanks. You have a question 440 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,479 Speaker 1: for me? They do? Um. So, I've been married for 441 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: about five years now, and my husband and I we 442 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,520 Speaker 1: just had a baby girl, and she's beautiful and I 443 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,879 Speaker 1: love her. Uh, but lately I've been kind of feeling 444 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 1: like my husband is pulling away because of course, like 445 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 1: our priority has been around the baby. And yeah, we're 446 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:21,439 Speaker 1: just not as close like intimately as we as we 447 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: used to be. So it's been an adjustment for both 448 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 1: of us. And I just want to I want to 449 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:32,239 Speaker 1: get some advice on how to get the spark going again. Uh. 450 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 1: Is this your first your first child? Yes? Okay? And 451 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: how old is she? She's about six months now, okay, okay, 452 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: So yeah, so we're not too far off. I have 453 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:48,160 Speaker 1: a one year old just turned one. Um, baby boy. 454 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,639 Speaker 1: Maybe they'll meet someday, who knows, maybe they'll date. This 455 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,680 Speaker 1: would be amazing. Um, excuse me. And then I also 456 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,840 Speaker 1: have a three year old. You know, I mean it's tough, 457 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 1: I'll say, honestly, you know, it's I don't think there's 458 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,919 Speaker 1: any boiler plate and for this, I mean, at the 459 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 1: end of the day, it's like you know, your priorities 460 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 1: have shifted, and as they should, you know, and it's 461 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 1: hard because you're you know, all of your time and 462 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 1: energy and effort is going towards keeping this beautiful little 463 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: baby alive and healthy. And you know, the baby doesn't 464 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 1: care if you guys are gonna have you know, mommy 465 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: and Daddy night date night, the babies starts crying date 466 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 1: nights over, you know, And um, I mean my wife 467 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: and I struggle with it too, I think, uh, I 468 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 1: think everybody does you know? And um man, I this 469 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 1: is gonna be uh maybe a terrible thing to say, 470 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 1: but I love counseling, like therapy, and I never really 471 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,400 Speaker 1: did it. I grew up in the Midwest. It wasn't 472 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,639 Speaker 1: really something that you know, we did where I was 473 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,919 Speaker 1: from and where I grew up. And then I landed 474 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: on the West Coast for a long time and there 475 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you have your therapist, and you 476 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 1: have your chiropractor, and you have you know, everybody on 477 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,800 Speaker 1: speed dial. Um. But it's nice to get into a 478 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 1: room with somebody and you can do it now, you know, 479 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: post COVID, you can do it online. You can do 480 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: an online session even where you you, you and your 481 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,159 Speaker 1: husband can just sit there and have someone else to 482 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 1: talk to you about what's going on and how you're 483 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,919 Speaker 1: feeling and you know, what's bothering each of you, but 484 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: also just what's concerning you, right, I mean, because everything 485 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: that we get upset about or irritated by generally is 486 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,879 Speaker 1: driven from fear, right, whether it's fear of what's going 487 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: to happen in the future, or fear of dealing with 488 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: what we're dealing with, you know right now. I mean 489 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: there's a million things. And like I said, I think 490 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 1: every couple goes through it, especially when they have a child. 491 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,159 Speaker 1: So I don't think you're that far off. Um, but 492 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 1: I also understand what you're saying. It's like, you know, 493 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 1: you want to communicate better, and you want to you know. 494 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 1: I mean, like, for for my wife and I are 495 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,120 Speaker 1: big thing was, you know, we wanted to learn how 496 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,399 Speaker 1: to disagree, learn how to fight, not not you know, 497 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: fight fight, but like learn how to have an argument 498 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 1: without just immediately shutting the other person down. And um, 499 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,680 Speaker 1: you know, and I think those kind of things come 500 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:07,160 Speaker 1: from frustration and exhaustion. I mean, you probably haven't slept 501 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: well in a while, you know, because you've got a 502 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 1: six month old, so I think, you know, give yourself 503 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: a little bit of a break. I think I think 504 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: you're you're you know, all you all you, each of 505 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,479 Speaker 1: you can do is as much as you can do. 506 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: And if you know, if the if the relationship is 507 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: worth the effort, which it sounds like it is, and 508 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: you have a new baby and everything else, then it 509 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: might be helpful to talk to somebody that will just 510 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: listen to the two of you, not necessarily sit there 511 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: and bitch about each other, but like to talk about 512 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: you know, what's you know, what's causing you concern, and 513 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:39,919 Speaker 1: what's making you nervous, and what's making you upset, and 514 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 1: you know, if you're feeling, uh like you want to 515 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: be physical more than he is or vice versa, you know, 516 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: what do we do about that? And you know, I mean, 517 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 1: I'd love to say I had answers for that kind 518 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 1: of stuff, but at the end of the day, I 519 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,120 Speaker 1: think the biggest answer is just to to give yourself 520 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: the freedom of knowing that you're kind of in the 521 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: middle of this, you know, period of your life where 522 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 1: things are changing rapidly and hugely, in that you know 523 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: your guy's responsibility is no more just your commitment to 524 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,879 Speaker 1: each other, but as your commitment to your kid and 525 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: then but you still can't forget about that commitment to 526 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 1: each other either. So you know, my wife and I 527 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 1: have struggled with it too. So I think you to 528 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 1: know you're not alone. I hope that helps a little. Um, 529 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 1: But other than that, you know, I would say, definitely 530 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: try try to find someone to kind of bridge the 531 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,159 Speaker 1: gap for you guys conversationally, and maybe you'll be in 532 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 1: a good spot where you can, you know, um, arrive 533 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: at at something that works for both of you. You know. Awesome, 534 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 1: Thank you, You're welcome. I hope it helps, it does 535 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: I I think it will for sure. Awesome. Well, good 536 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: luck with it. And next time I'm hosting this thing 537 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: called back and we can talk about how it went, 538 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: and I'll tell you how it's going for me to Okay, 539 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 1: that sounds good, all right, awesome, Thanks Jada, Thank you. 540 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: Hi Delaney, you're on homn Think with Bob Guinny. How 541 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,960 Speaker 1: are you good? How are you? I'm doing well? Thanks? 542 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 1: What are you calling in for today? What kind of 543 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 1: questions you got? So? I'm single, but I've had a 544 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,120 Speaker 1: few instances where I've had amazing conversations with the guy 545 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 1: while I was out and I feel like we connected 546 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 1: and divided. But they've never asked for my number at 547 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: the end of the night. And so I guess my 548 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: question is if they don't ask for it, does that 549 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: mean they aren't interested? And is it too forward to 550 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: ask for their numbers? Is do you guys like that 551 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: if we do? I think totally. I think you should 552 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: totally ask for the numbers if you're if you're feeling 553 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: a vibe from them, and you know, and there's a 554 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: different way to do it too. You know. I had 555 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,960 Speaker 1: someone one time who I thought was it was pretty cool. 556 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: She actually she said, let me see your phone and 557 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: I was like what And she put my like her 558 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: number in my phone and hit send and it like 559 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,119 Speaker 1: called her, you know, and she's like, Okay, now we 560 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 1: have each other's numbers and um. And it was kind 561 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,919 Speaker 1: of cute and flirty and funny. Um. And it was 562 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 1: it was a different way to do it, you know, 563 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: but it was like it was kind of it was 564 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,040 Speaker 1: kind of cool because if it was for that moment, 565 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: at least it worked for our situation. You know. It 566 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,120 Speaker 1: was casual and it was fun, and and it wasn't 567 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: anything like you know, uh, it wasn't anything where it 568 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,880 Speaker 1: was like someone felt like they had to put something 569 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,719 Speaker 1: in their calendar to call on a certain date and 570 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: you know, be held to the you know, to anything. 571 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: But it was it was also cool though, because you know, 572 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: later that night, like she texted, it was like, you know, 573 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: it was a great meeting you tonight, blah blah blah blah. 574 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,159 Speaker 1: And I'm sure you have a million phone numbers in 575 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,919 Speaker 1: your phone, my names, you know, Jenny or whatever. And 576 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: it was like I was like, oh my god, that's 577 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 1: so that's cool. You know, it was like a different 578 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: way to go about it. So I don't think in 579 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,239 Speaker 1: and you know, in the life of the day we 580 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: live in right now, I don't think it's it's too forward. 581 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 1: I don't think it's you know, um out of place. 582 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 1: I don't think it's if you're interested in someone and 583 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: you know, you don't even know, I mean, they might 584 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 1: be on dating apps, or you might be on dating 585 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: apps or whatever. You know, there's could be a million 586 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,760 Speaker 1: different things that's pulling their attention and so you know, 587 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: something like that is kind of a fun you know, 588 00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,200 Speaker 1: like I said, like not really, uh, super kind of 589 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: in your face way of giving each other a way 590 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: to contact one another and kind of letting it go 591 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:17,920 Speaker 1: from there. You know. So if if one of you 592 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: reaches out and the other one doesn't, well there you go. 593 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: Now you have your answer, you know, um, and vice versa. 594 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: But it's fun and it's playful enough that it's like, um, 595 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 1: I don't know, I I'll just say I really liked it. 596 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: I thought it was a cool way to go and 597 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: and um, and I ended up you know, uh, really 598 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: we didn't end up together forever, but you know, we 599 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 1: ended up getting to hang out a little bit and 600 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: have some fun and um, and it was something that 601 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,200 Speaker 1: I thought was like a really redeeming quality of that person, 602 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: you know, years later when I look back at it. So, 603 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: I think that's a cool way to go. What do 604 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 1: you think you think you would do it? Yeah? I mean, 605 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: after hearing what you just said, I mean, why not? Yeah. 606 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: I mean it's kind of a fun thing too, because 607 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: you know, you're you're not saying you're necessarily gonna call them, 608 00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: You're not saying you're you know, you're just saying, hey, 609 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: this moment, I think you're kind of fun duty duty 610 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 1: do and then you know, you might change your mind 611 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 1: to meet somebody else ten minutes later that you like 612 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: better and be like over that dude, you know so 613 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: and another thing. So when you do that, I will 614 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 1: tell you something that my wife does or did. And 615 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,239 Speaker 1: it's funny because you know, years later, she still has 616 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: phone numbers in her phone of you know, dude she 617 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 1: met or whatever, and she would always put like descriptors 618 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: in there, so like if you know, it would be like, 619 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: you know, she has a friend and her name is like, 620 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: you know, Debbie, and it's like Debbie, party girl, you 621 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: know whatever, blonde, you know, And so she has all 622 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 1: these descriptors in her phone, and so when the person 623 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 1: would call her, it would kind of like signify something 624 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: that would make her remember that person, and um, you know, 625 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 1: and that's something too, like you can walk away from 626 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: that conversation and go to the bathroom or whatever and 627 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: put that person in your context and be like, you know, Jim, 628 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,960 Speaker 1: you know dark hair, uh, you know BMX rider or 629 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 1: something I don't know, and it's like, okay, now I 630 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,719 Speaker 1: remember you remember something from the conversation that will trigger 631 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: you if you don't hear from him in like two weeks, um, 632 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: you know, but it's also a cool way for you 633 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 1: to kind of control the narrative to Yeah, I completely agree. 634 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 1: So well, good luck with it. I hope it works. 635 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 1: You're welcome. Take care. Hi, Kate, how are you good? 636 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: How are you well? I'm doing great? Thanks? What do 637 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 1: you guys? A question for me? Well, um, you know, 638 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: just lately, um, my husband has been doing a lot 639 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: of work. He's been working more you know, lots of overtime, 640 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: late hours, and when he comes home, he's super like, 641 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: like almost mean, he's agitated, he's stressed out, he's snapping 642 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 1: at me and the kids, and it's just really irritating. 643 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: And the thing is, he doesn't have to work late, 644 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,600 Speaker 1: he doesn't have to do all this overtime, but he 645 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: says that he wants to do it because he's making 646 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: extra money for us to be able to provide you know, 647 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 1: like vacations and things for the house, things for the kids. Um. 648 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: And so you know, I'm really torn about this because, 649 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 1: you know, on one hand, I'm really grateful and appreciative 650 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: that he wants to provide for us so that we 651 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: can have all of these things, which is nice. But 652 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: on the other hand. I feel like him providing and 653 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 1: doing all this extra work so that we can have 654 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: this stuff, which is nice to have, but it doesn't 655 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: really matter to me. It's costing us emotionally because I 656 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: almost hate it when he comes home because he's I 657 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 1: know he's going to be grumpy and mean, and you know, 658 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 1: I don't really know how to approach him and ask 659 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:49,200 Speaker 1: him to cut back, because I know he enjoys providing 660 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: and it's something he wants to do, but it's I 661 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: feel like it's costing us otherwise, So I just don't 662 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 1: really know what to do at this point. Man. I 663 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 1: feel like, literally, I feel like if I were like 664 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: a fly on the wall right now listening to my 665 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: wife talk about me, she might sound exactly the same way. 666 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's it's one of those things 667 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 1: like you go, you know, you think you're doing what 668 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,240 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing and what you want to 669 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 1: be doing, but for some reason, the people that you're 670 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:20,479 Speaker 1: doing it for, you're almost like, you know, uh, venting 671 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: on them because you're doing it right. So it's like, 672 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 1: you know, he might be feeling this pressure that he's 673 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 1: creating for himself, which I know I do Um, I 674 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 1: might just be a real a guy thing. I don't know. 675 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I know I do this. I know I 676 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: do these things. So I'm sorry. Yeah, I feel like 677 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 1: it's you know, it's a good thing. You know, there's 678 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 1: a lot of men that don't want to provide, but 679 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 1: you know, at what costs though stuff? Yeah, you know, 680 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: my wife's my wife has said that to me before, 681 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: to like, you know, who cares if we have all this, 682 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: we we still have to be good together. And that's 683 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: a big it's a big component of it that you know, 684 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 1: sometimes guys bury themselves and work for a million reasons, 685 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: and you know, I think one of them is this 686 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 1: sure that we put on ourselves to be the provider 687 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: and to be the person that's you know, making sure 688 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,360 Speaker 1: everybody has what they need and you don't have to 689 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,640 Speaker 1: worry about asking about this or that, you know, and 690 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 1: or choosing between this and that. Um So, I mean 691 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: I get that. I get where the pressure comes from. 692 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,880 Speaker 1: You know, it might be one of those things too 693 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,399 Speaker 1: where you know, uh, maybe have you guys talked about 694 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,360 Speaker 1: this at all, Like have you ever said, you know, hey, 695 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 1: you seem really stressed when you come home. I get it. 696 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,640 Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like you probably have. You seem 697 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,919 Speaker 1: like you're really willing to communicate. Yeah, but I mean 698 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: it doesn't go well. I mean because I feel like 699 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 1: I might accidentally be hurting his pride or his ego, 700 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,680 Speaker 1: and I'm it's not what I'm trying to do. Yeah, 701 00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: I just I just don't want him to burn out 702 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,239 Speaker 1: and lose our relationship and all this stuff in the process. 703 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:53,520 Speaker 1: So it's just delicate, delicate balance. Delicate balance, it really is, 704 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 1: you know. I think I think it's hard, and it's 705 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,600 Speaker 1: hard from the standpoint of from where a guy is 706 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 1: coming from too, because you're right, that could that could 707 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 1: hurt his pride, that he's not able to do it 708 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 1: all and do it all with a smile, you know, 709 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 1: and um, you know from that perspective, like, you know, 710 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: he might not even realize that he's being edgy and 711 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,399 Speaker 1: short and you know a little bit you know, temperamental, 712 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,480 Speaker 1: and he might not even realize that. And and then 713 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,720 Speaker 1: when you let him know, the initial reaction is probably 714 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: going to be defensive, like what are you talking about? 715 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm exhausted, I'm working my ass out, 716 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 1: you know, And so it becomes one of these things. 717 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,200 Speaker 1: That's like a recurring argument that you know, it's like 718 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,400 Speaker 1: Groundhog Day, right, and you keep trying to, you know, 719 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: wake up the next day and it's this exact same 720 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: thing over and over and over again, and the only 721 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 1: way to fix it is to break the cycle, you know. 722 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,880 Speaker 1: So um, whether it's you know, you're saying, you know, hey, listen, 723 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 1: you know this next week you have this day and 724 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,279 Speaker 1: this day off, and maybe instead of and I know 725 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,400 Speaker 1: this is counterintuitive, but you know, maybe instead of us 726 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,879 Speaker 1: packing everything into those two days that you have off, 727 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,960 Speaker 1: just take the day, you know. And I get it. 728 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,880 Speaker 1: This sounds like a terrible piece of advice, but it 729 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,719 Speaker 1: will make him be like, oh my, I don't want that. 730 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 1: I might he might think he wants that. I mean, 731 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,319 Speaker 1: I know I think I want that. And then if 732 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 1: my wife and my kids are going to like the 733 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,319 Speaker 1: zoo or something, I'm like, man, I want to go 734 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,560 Speaker 1: to the zoo with him. I don't want to not 735 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,239 Speaker 1: miss I don't want to miss out on that experience. 736 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,440 Speaker 1: And so, you know, it becomes kind of one of 737 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: those things where you start looking within and and and 738 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 1: you know, maybe it's just a way to hit the 739 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 1: reset button for him. You know, is to realize that, 740 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 1: you know, when he comes home and works all these 741 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,359 Speaker 1: extra hours and stuff, he's missing out on this great 742 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,320 Speaker 1: time with his kids as opposed to and his wife 743 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: as opposed to you know, making an extra fifty bucks 744 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: that day or hundred bucks that day, or whatever it 745 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: might be. You know, I don't know. I mean, at 746 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 1: the end of the day, everybody's wired differently, and and 747 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,120 Speaker 1: you know, what makes them tick is going to be 748 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 1: different than something that makes me tick. But I will 749 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: say that that's something that has worked for me in 750 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: the past when my wife will be like, you know, 751 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: what's it all worth if you're not able to spend 752 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,759 Speaker 1: this time with us? And it hits me, you know, 753 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 1: it really affects me. So you know, maybe that will 754 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 1: be something that will work for you too. All right, Well, 755 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 1: I guess the only thing I can do is just 756 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 1: give that a try and see if that maybe gets 757 00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 1: through to him, and you know, if we can start 758 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,360 Speaker 1: spark a change in him. Yeah, I mean, you know 759 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,800 Speaker 1: him better obviously than than than anybody. So it's like, 760 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: you know, there might be a little twist here and there, 761 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,960 Speaker 1: or a little you know, uh, you know, something a 762 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,239 Speaker 1: little bit different that might work that you know, you 763 00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 1: can personalize that and make it your own. But I 764 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 1: think it is kind of a nice feeling when the 765 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 1: person that you love the most, who is you know, 766 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 1: your wife and your kids, when it's like, you know, 767 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 1: all they really want us to be with you, you know, 768 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 1: it makes you kind of take a step back and 769 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: go in, what am I doing all this for? You know, 770 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 1: I'm like killing myself over you know, how much money, 771 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:36,960 Speaker 1: you know, is it ever enough? And it's never enough? 772 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,480 Speaker 1: So you know, at the end of the day, it's like, 773 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,560 Speaker 1: you know, maybe taking one or two of those days 774 00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,680 Speaker 1: and not doing that over time, but instead getting to 775 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 1: spend a little more time quality time with you and 776 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,520 Speaker 1: the kids. It will be a lot more beneficial in 777 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,160 Speaker 1: the long run. Well, I hope so. And like I said, 778 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: that's uh, definitely something. I'll give it a try and 779 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,720 Speaker 1: we'll see how it works. And I appreciate the input 780 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 1: on that. Um yeah, definitely, I hope it works out 781 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,279 Speaker 1: for you. All right, Thank you so much. Thank you. 782 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 1: It's nice talking to you all right, you too, by 783 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:09,439 Speaker 1: bye bye? By Hi. Hey Patty? How are you, Um, well, 784 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:12,600 Speaker 1: how are you well? I'm doing pretty fantastic. Thanks thanks 785 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:18,680 Speaker 1: for calling in. So, my husband and I we have 786 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: been married for a few years, and our parents always 787 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,320 Speaker 1: bring up when are we going to have kids? Parents 788 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,600 Speaker 1: talk about it, My mom talks about it. They're all 789 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,200 Speaker 1: excited to be grandparents. But I feel like we're not 790 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: ready yet and we kind of just want to enjoy 791 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 1: being married for a little bit longer. And so I'm 792 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: so curious, how can we talk to them about this 793 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:44,920 Speaker 1: without offending them busting their dreams? Right now? I know, 794 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 1: how long did you guys date before you get married? 795 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,360 Speaker 1: Five years? So you probably heard a ton When are 796 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,560 Speaker 1: you guys getting married? It doesn't stop. I know, it's 797 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 1: it's this weird, crazy cycle. I used to say it 798 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: all the time. My wife and I dated for three 799 00:38:58,239 --> 00:38:59,959 Speaker 1: years before we got married, and then the three years, 800 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: I'm I probably heard it like a thousand times, and 801 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 1: then the second we got married, it's like, when do 802 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,480 Speaker 1: we et grandkids? And I remember saying to them, I 803 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 1: was like, hey, back off, man, like you know, I 804 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,600 Speaker 1: made it funny, but I was just like, guys, you know, 805 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 1: you busted our chops for you know, five years to 806 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: get married. We finally were you know, we finally did it. 807 00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 1: We got married, and now we want to enjoy being 808 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,760 Speaker 1: married a little bit before we know we're on lockdown 809 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,480 Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years. So you know, give us 810 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 1: a little breathing room here. And I think, you know, 811 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,799 Speaker 1: it's funny because I mean, I had kids so much 812 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: later in life that I got I understood where the 813 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,279 Speaker 1: big rush was coming from there, Like, you know, hey, man, 814 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 1: we only got so much time here as grandparents. Uh, 815 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,839 Speaker 1: with me waiting so long to have kids, I didn't 816 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:39,480 Speaker 1: have kids. I was forty seven, but um, you know, 817 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 1: I'm sure unlike me, you're probably much younger than that. 818 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,000 Speaker 1: And you know, from that perspective, it's like, I think 819 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 1: it's a fun there's a fun way to do it, 820 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 1: you know, like uh, you know, maybe you could even 821 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,239 Speaker 1: say your your parents into his parents, you know, like 822 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,480 Speaker 1: find out how long they were married before they had kids. 823 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: Hopefully it was a couple of years, you know, and um, 824 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,840 Speaker 1: and then you could say to them, well, hey, you 825 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,759 Speaker 1: and dad were married for four years before you had kids. 826 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,480 Speaker 1: And that was back in the you know whatever era 827 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,280 Speaker 1: when you know, everybody had kids right away and you guys, 828 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,799 Speaker 1: you know, waited three years or whatever. It is just 829 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,360 Speaker 1: to give yourself some you know, some some time and 830 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,560 Speaker 1: to give them some context, you know, because in their minds, 831 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:14,919 Speaker 1: all they can think of is, oh, man, we gotta 832 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,000 Speaker 1: have a grandkid right away. And I will say that, 833 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,359 Speaker 1: you know, one of the big things that my wife 834 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,600 Speaker 1: and I talked about all the time is that we 835 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: both had time to you know, before we got together. 836 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,279 Speaker 1: I mean that we were we sold our oats, we 837 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,160 Speaker 1: had fun, we did whatever we're gonna do. Then we 838 00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 1: got married. It's like, now we get to have fun together. 839 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: And we and we took a couple of years of 840 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,920 Speaker 1: doing that before we decided to have kids. And I'm 841 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,120 Speaker 1: really thankful that we did. We traveled a time, you know, 842 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,799 Speaker 1: we got a chance to do a bunch of fun things. 843 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 1: And when did you get how long have you guys 844 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 1: been married? Two years now? So you got married? Like 845 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,440 Speaker 1: what right? Right? During COVID? Oh yeah, yeah, we got 846 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 1: the postphone. We just kind of did it ourselves. We 847 00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,319 Speaker 1: went into the street, our parents were there. I was 848 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 1: super small, but we were just like we're doing this. Yeah, 849 00:40:55,520 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 1: and that's awesome. But COVID sucked. You couldn't travel, you 850 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,560 Speaker 1: couldn't do all that kind of stuff. So I mean, 851 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 1: if nothing else that buys you a buffer, you know, 852 00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: two years. I would think, like you could say, hey, guys, 853 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 1: we got married during COVID, so all that fun stuff 854 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 1: that you all got to do for honeymoons and everything else, 855 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:12,799 Speaker 1: we didn't get to do any of that crap. So 856 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,320 Speaker 1: we're gonna do it now and we're gonna enjoy ourselves, 857 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: and then we're gonna make sure we're in the right 858 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 1: place to have kids, because you know, COVID really screwed 859 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 1: up everything. And I think that kind of makes sense 860 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: some time, right, like, yeah, let's just comp it down 861 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,239 Speaker 1: and let's have fun because they know what happens to 862 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,480 Speaker 1: our wedding, so yeah, exactly. And then the beauty of 863 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: it is too like they'll quit, they'll quit asking, and 864 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, you'll be a surprise again 865 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,040 Speaker 1: because they'll think they're not supposed to ask, and you'll 866 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 1: be like, hey, guys, guess what. Boom, and they'll be 867 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,680 Speaker 1: fired all fired up again and you know, no time, 868 00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,480 Speaker 1: so you'll be all good, Thank you so much, You're welcome, 869 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:51,840 Speaker 1: good luck. All right. So that was our call in questions, 870 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 1: which was very very fun for me. I actually had 871 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,839 Speaker 1: a great time. Thank you, all for calling in and 872 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:57,839 Speaker 1: for listening to the show. We're gonna take a really 873 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,480 Speaker 1: quick break and we come back. We got a little 874 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 1: bit more cute and a and uh, and then we're 875 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:03,799 Speaker 1: gonna put a big bow on this thing. So thank 876 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,839 Speaker 1: you for listening to How Men. Think. We'll be right back, 877 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 1: Welcome back to how Men. Thank I am Bob, getting 878 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,319 Speaker 1: your guest host for the week. Now. I got some 879 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,640 Speaker 1: questions here that I think are pretty good, and so 880 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,359 Speaker 1: I want to kind of try to tackle a few 881 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:27,400 Speaker 1: of them. Um, as a father of two, what advice 882 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 1: would you give new parents? So I kind of touched 883 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,440 Speaker 1: on this earlier in the show that, Um, I didn't 884 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,440 Speaker 1: feel like I was really qualified just because I have 885 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:39,399 Speaker 1: kids to give parenting advice. UM, but I could give 886 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:41,439 Speaker 1: it from a different type of scope, which is because 887 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:45,080 Speaker 1: I think everyone's gonna parent differently and um, and so 888 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,600 Speaker 1: what I was thinking was, uh, you know, and I 889 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 1: said this earlier in the show too, was you know, 890 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 1: my advice if I actually the people who aren't parents 891 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,000 Speaker 1: or who are becoming parents or want to become parents 892 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,000 Speaker 1: in the future, UM, to you know, kind of take 893 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,960 Speaker 1: a step back and not be so judging of people 894 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: who are new parents because I was. I think, like 895 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,799 Speaker 1: I look, I look at you know, restaurants and looking 896 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 1: across the table and seeing someone you know, with a 897 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,839 Speaker 1: kid in an iPad, and my mind is like, oh 898 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,759 Speaker 1: my god, why, you know, why aren't they talking? You know, 899 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,640 Speaker 1: you don't need an iPad at the table, but when 900 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,319 Speaker 1: you're in a restaurant, I'm just gonna say it, I 901 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,479 Speaker 1: need an iPad at that table at some point or another. 902 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,440 Speaker 1: I want my kid to just relax. Quit saying he 903 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,359 Speaker 1: has to go to the bathroom forty three times, Quit 904 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,000 Speaker 1: trying to get up and run around the restaurant and 905 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,759 Speaker 1: me having to basically try and discipline him. If he's 906 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,200 Speaker 1: gonna sit there and you know, watch something on on 907 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,439 Speaker 1: the screen, so be it. If I can have half 908 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,560 Speaker 1: an hour and not even fifteen minutes, whatever it is, um. 909 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,480 Speaker 1: And that's something that I think is uh more of 910 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,160 Speaker 1: just maybe it's age, you know, maybe it's just time 911 00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,319 Speaker 1: with kids. I'm not sure, um, but it's something that 912 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 1: I think is is pretty good advice from the perspective of, 913 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,480 Speaker 1: you know, um, don't be so judgy, just sort of 914 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 1: take a step back and let people live. You know, 915 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,040 Speaker 1: it's been a rough couple of years with COVID and 916 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 1: everything else. It's like the last thing you need is 917 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,840 Speaker 1: are your peers. You know, ran down a bunch of 918 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,239 Speaker 1: refan you because you're you're doing something different than they 919 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,680 Speaker 1: might do. So um, live and let lift. Uh that's 920 00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,840 Speaker 1: that's what I say. Alright, I've been married since what 921 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:12,719 Speaker 1: advice would I give a newly wed? Um? You know 922 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,960 Speaker 1: this is this is an interesting one for me because 923 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,480 Speaker 1: I feel like when my wife and I first got married, Um, 924 00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:20,840 Speaker 1: I was given some really good advice, which was to 925 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,080 Speaker 1: take a moment to stop and just sort of smell 926 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,560 Speaker 1: the roses for a minute. No bachelor pun intended right there, 927 00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,719 Speaker 1: but um, just sort of take a minute, soak it 928 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:32,440 Speaker 1: all in, look around, and really kind of enjoy the 929 00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:36,879 Speaker 1: moment with with your person, you know, um, because life 930 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,120 Speaker 1: moves fast and and you know, ship happens, as they say, 931 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 1: things happen, and you're gonna end up in uh, you know, 932 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:47,239 Speaker 1: a tornado of you know, people pulling you in a 933 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,920 Speaker 1: million different directions the second you get home from this moment, 934 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,680 Speaker 1: and so really soak it in and just breathe it 935 00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,719 Speaker 1: in for a minute and enjoy one another's company and 936 00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 1: and that minute extends. I mean I'm not saying I'm saying, like, 937 00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 1: give yourself a couple of months where you're basically like, yes, 938 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,080 Speaker 1: we are newlyweds. Let's let's drink it in, Let's enjoy 939 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,759 Speaker 1: each other's company. Let's really get to know each other 940 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,840 Speaker 1: as a married couple. Because things do change, the dynamic 941 00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:13,480 Speaker 1: does change. Um, and you know, enjoy that that moment 942 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,600 Speaker 1: that you have together, which takes me my next question, 943 00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:17,880 Speaker 1: which is do you feel as you evolve your marriage 944 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,840 Speaker 1: should evolve as well? If so, how do you evolve together? Um? Yeah, 945 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,879 Speaker 1: I do think as you grow, your marriage grows, um 946 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,360 Speaker 1: for better or for worse. Right, that's part of the 947 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,319 Speaker 1: whole thing when you say your vows for better or 948 00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 1: for worse. Um. And you know, uh, I think acknowledging 949 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,719 Speaker 1: your role in it and knowing where you're at with 950 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,160 Speaker 1: things and trying to make it better is really all 951 00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,440 Speaker 1: you can do. And so you need to evolve. You 952 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: need to know that you're especially if you have kids 953 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 1: and things like that, your partners needs change and so 954 00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,279 Speaker 1: to yours. And so you know, you've got to be 955 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,520 Speaker 1: willing to sort of not be so critical or or 956 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,200 Speaker 1: also not be so regimented that you're sticking with exactly 957 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,360 Speaker 1: what it used to be, because nothing is what it 958 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,360 Speaker 1: used to be. That's why it's called it used to 959 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,200 Speaker 1: be right, it's it's past. So all you gotta do 960 00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,840 Speaker 1: is try to really work hard on creating the future 961 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:09,839 Speaker 1: feelings that you're gonna have for that. So that's that's 962 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,080 Speaker 1: the goal that I have for that moving forward. Just 963 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,120 Speaker 1: realized I'm always right. My wife just brought me lunch, 964 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:21,520 Speaker 1: how wonderful and told me she's always right, which is awesome. True, 965 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 1: She's always right. Um, And then I'll answer one more 966 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,799 Speaker 1: of these. I think it'd be kind of fun. Um, 967 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,680 Speaker 1: how did you and Jessica meet? And how did you 968 00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 1: pursue her? This is awesome because I don't really feel 969 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,600 Speaker 1: like I get to tell this answer enough. So we 970 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,719 Speaker 1: met through a friend. I actually used to have a 971 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,880 Speaker 1: radio show on Sirius XM several years ago, and my 972 00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 1: co host introduced us at a a thing while she 973 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,600 Speaker 1: was trying to set me up with her other friend. Actually, 974 00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:51,600 Speaker 1: and so I was kind of, you know, being all 975 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,800 Speaker 1: flirty and stupid like I do with her other friend, 976 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,840 Speaker 1: and then the other friend kind of got annoying and 977 00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,160 Speaker 1: weird and um, my wife, I call her Canyon because 978 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,920 Speaker 1: it's her maiden name. Her name is Jessica. But I 979 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,040 Speaker 1: always so I was calling her Canyon because there was 980 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:07,960 Speaker 1: like three Jessicas in my life at that time, and 981 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,320 Speaker 1: um too that I was dating and then my co host. 982 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,239 Speaker 1: But it's a lot I was. I was always honest 983 00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:15,799 Speaker 1: about it up front that I was not, you know, 984 00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:18,840 Speaker 1: looking to settle down. But anyway, I called her Canyon, 985 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,399 Speaker 1: so I could you know, differentiate. But it actually became 986 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,359 Speaker 1: a thing with her where she was so much fun 987 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:27,480 Speaker 1: and just you know, just basically so different than the 988 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,640 Speaker 1: person that they were trying to set me up with 989 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,920 Speaker 1: that I was more drawn to her and so, um 990 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,279 Speaker 1: it was very casual for a while there and then um, 991 00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,920 Speaker 1: all of a sudden it wasn't. And it was one 992 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,400 Speaker 1: of those things where it was kind of like, you know, 993 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,720 Speaker 1: I didn't think I wanted to get married again. Um, 994 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,200 Speaker 1: I was pretty much resigned to the fact that I 995 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,319 Speaker 1: probably wasn't gonna have kids or anything. And uh, next thing, 996 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,479 Speaker 1: you know, I realized she was someone that I wanted 997 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:53,920 Speaker 1: to have a family with, and um, she gave me 998 00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,440 Speaker 1: the opportunity to be a dad. And here I am, 999 00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:00,000 Speaker 1: and it's the best thing that's ever happened. So, UM, 1000 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 1: you know, I'll save you the details of how I 1001 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:05,600 Speaker 1: pursued her precisely, but uh, I'll just say that it 1002 00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,600 Speaker 1: was it was something that I walked into. It wasn't 1003 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 1: something that I was deliberately going after. And um, I 1004 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: think the fact that you know it was a little 1005 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:18,799 Speaker 1: less of attempted relationship or a little less design I'm 1006 00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,279 Speaker 1: getting into a relationship that made it work for us, 1007 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:25,600 Speaker 1: because I really thought I wasn't gonna be in that situation. 1008 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,480 Speaker 1: So very glad to be in it. So all right, well, 1009 00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,439 Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to How a Man Think. 1010 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:32,799 Speaker 1: It's my first episode as your guest host. I've had 1011 00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 1: a great day. I hope you guys have fun too. Um, 1012 00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,920 Speaker 1: thank you for all the questions and for the callers. 1013 00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,279 Speaker 1: It was awesome to interact with you guys. I will 1014 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,960 Speaker 1: tell you you know, I used to always say do 1015 00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:46,040 Speaker 1: as I say, not as I've done, because I was 1016 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:48,399 Speaker 1: a divorce guy. And um, but now you know, I've 1017 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,680 Speaker 1: been married six years, so I guess you can do 1018 00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,680 Speaker 1: as I say and uh, not as I've done. If 1019 00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:55,600 Speaker 1: you like what you heard, you know, hopefully they'll have 1020 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,200 Speaker 1: me back to guest host again sometime soon. But you 1021 00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:00,239 Speaker 1: can also catch us on Almost Famous the o G 1022 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:04,400 Speaker 1: Podcast with Trista sutter U, the original Bachelorette, and myself 1023 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,319 Speaker 1: and we call ourselves the godfather and god Mother of 1024 00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,959 Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation. So if you have any design on that show, 1025 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:13,920 Speaker 1: make sure you listen in because we have no idea 1026 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 1: what's going on nowadays, but we talk about the good 1027 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,320 Speaker 1: old days, um and everything in that uh, in that reflection. 1028 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,239 Speaker 1: So it's been great talking with you guys. You can 1029 00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:24,799 Speaker 1: check me on Instagram at Bob Guinea, Twitter, Facebook, all 1030 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 1: that good stuff is the same. But until next time, 1031 00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,279 Speaker 1: have a great day. And uh, I hope I was 1032 00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:33,920 Speaker 1: able to help tell you how men actually think. This 1033 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,320 Speaker 1: is how men think and I Heart Radio London Audio Production. 1034 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,680 Speaker 1: Listen each Thursday on the I Heart Radio app, Apple 1035 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,279 Speaker 1: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.