WEBVTT - Navigating Burnout

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<v Speaker 1>SoundBite.

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<v Speaker 2>What I'm about to say may surprise you, but it

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<v Speaker 2>is very possible to get burnt out even doing the

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<v Speaker 2>things you love to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Very interesting take.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why Me with Me Burnout is synonymous with book

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<v Speaker 4>that flight and get the fuck out.

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<v Speaker 1>Of here.

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<v Speaker 3>In a bikini.

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<v Speaker 4>You see the bees, the bees keep rolling, Baby burnout

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<v Speaker 4>on the beach.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll let you have it.

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<v Speaker 2>It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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<v Speaker 2>from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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<v Speaker 2>Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times best selling authors.

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<v Speaker 3>That ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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<v Speaker 3>was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

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<v Speaker 1>Be raw, or but most apportly be us.

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<v Speaker 4>But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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<v Speaker 4>and through it all, one thing has never changed.

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<v Speaker 5>This is.

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<v Speaker 3>You got a lot to talk about story time.

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<v Speaker 2>Story time, So I'm gonna tell you all about a

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<v Speaker 2>burnout opportunity.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, not burnout, that's not even an opportunity.

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<v Speaker 2>A burned out time in my life where I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>even know I was getting burned out until I was

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<v Speaker 2>burnt out.

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<v Speaker 1>Y'all know, I'm an athlete. I love sports. I love basketball.

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<v Speaker 2>I like football. I don't love football. I liked football,

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<v Speaker 2>but I did love to play it. When I was

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<v Speaker 2>playing and going into my fourth season in the NFL,

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<v Speaker 2>I had just signed with the Browns and they had

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<v Speaker 2>fired Romeo Cornell. They brought in Eric Mangini, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to practice every day doing what I had

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<v Speaker 2>to do, doing my lists and stuff like that. And

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<v Speaker 2>then they started bringing in some other rookies and some

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<v Speaker 2>other people, and before I knew it, I realized that

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<v Speaker 2>I just didn't want to be here no more like before.

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<v Speaker 2>It was happening before my eyes, but I didn't realize it.

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<v Speaker 2>And I started to realize it. When you know me,

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<v Speaker 2>in ten years of football that you've been a part of,

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<v Speaker 2>have I been late to a meeting?

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<v Speaker 5>Not one?

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<v Speaker 1>Have I ever been late to workouts?

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<v Speaker 3>Not I ever missed in life? Not one.

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<v Speaker 2>So I remember going OTAs Monday, walking into meetings. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>three minutes late. Coaches like the Value late. It was

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<v Speaker 2>like my full coach Tuesday, come in there and fall asleep,

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<v Speaker 2>like the Val if you sleep and you might want

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<v Speaker 2>to just step out. Then I got up and just

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<v Speaker 2>walked out. And it was in that moment that I realized, like, Yo,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm fucking burnt out, like I'm over this.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to do it no more.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I didn't want to do it no more.

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<v Speaker 2>And when they called me right before we went back

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<v Speaker 2>to camp and they were like, hey, Devo, we're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>let you go. We're gonna sign some draft picks, I

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<v Speaker 2>just said okay and hung up the phone.

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<v Speaker 1>Got need a dissertation. I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>And in that moment, now that I look back on it,

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<v Speaker 2>I realized that I was burnt out. Like I went

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<v Speaker 2>from being a walk a free agent, no, a walk

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<v Speaker 2>onege having to always prove myself every day, and the

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<v Speaker 2>free agent in the NFL having to proved myself every day,

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<v Speaker 2>even though it was doing something I love.

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<v Speaker 3>I was fucking over it, and you were tired of

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<v Speaker 3>having to prove yourself. Yes, I get it. I was

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<v Speaker 3>surprised when that happened. But here we are.

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<v Speaker 1>It happens now. For karaoke.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna let Key sing the song because I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know the words. I'm just being honest, y'all.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't.

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<v Speaker 3>I have no I kid the words.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that I know the first the six words.

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<v Speaker 3>When you feel it in me. Nobody who make you

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<v Speaker 3>change your ways? Like with your crew?

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<v Speaker 4>Will you act like you're ready, but you don't really know?

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<v Speaker 4>And everything in the past, you want to let it

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<v Speaker 4>go in the done it after all that, This is

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<v Speaker 4>what I found. Nobody wants to be alone. If you

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<v Speaker 4>touched by the words in the song, and baby.

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<v Speaker 1>You got it that's wrong song. We got trouble.

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<v Speaker 6>That's the wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's not let it burn. You got it bad? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you know who got it bad? We got it bad, bad, bad?

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<v Speaker 6>Yo?

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<v Speaker 3>How did we get there?

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<v Speaker 1>We always there's supposed to be let it burn. It

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<v Speaker 1>was supposed to.

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<v Speaker 3>Be let it burn.

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<v Speaker 4>H shoot, no doubt that's what you got it mad? No, no, no, no, no, nobody,

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<v Speaker 4>Now we have to be starry.

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<v Speaker 3>Why are we all drawing a blank right now? It's

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<v Speaker 3>because we're all.

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<v Speaker 2>You got it bad, that's let it burn, lett it

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<v Speaker 2>burn ley.

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<v Speaker 4>You know it's bad for yourself, but you, in the

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<v Speaker 4>thought of a thing with someone else, say.

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<v Speaker 3>You know that it's over letty bird. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 3>guess that does apply. And that's why we wanted to

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<v Speaker 3>sing that song.

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<v Speaker 1>We got to it. We got to it all. We

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<v Speaker 1>took a turn. It was the wrong way.

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<v Speaker 4>That's the first time that's happened in karaoke that we

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<v Speaker 4>sang the entire first verse into the wrong as chorus.

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<v Speaker 4>You know what it was to we were over here,

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<v Speaker 4>just our mind was blown because the video went out

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<v Speaker 4>recently of USh.

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<v Speaker 3>You're saying, who's in the streets, not cruising the streets?

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<v Speaker 3>We all know and I thought we knew that. It

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<v Speaker 3>was seven o'clock on the dot.

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<v Speaker 1>He's in his drop top cruising the streets.

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<v Speaker 3>He said, who's in the streets? Baby?

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<v Speaker 2>I got a real pretty pretty it's about sitting next me.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, now it's a whole Usher concerts is.

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<v Speaker 1>Here in the building. What you expect?

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<v Speaker 4>Even more reason why we should have known what the

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<v Speaker 4>damn soul was. That's hilarious that that happened. All right, Well,

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<v Speaker 4>clearly we need to take a break. We need to reconvene,

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<v Speaker 4>get our ship together, and then we'll be back to

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<v Speaker 4>talk more about navigating burnout.

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<v Speaker 3>Stick around, y'all, and we're back, and we're back, guys.

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<v Speaker 1>My favorite part of the show.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, well, do you want to touch based on story

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<v Speaker 4>time real quick or we'll get into that in the

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<v Speaker 4>meat of the show.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's do let's do perfect triple. Is your time to shine?

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<v Speaker 7>John.

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<v Speaker 5>Since we're talking about work today, I figured I would

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<v Speaker 5>talk about an actor since we got two actors amongst us.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm talking about me and the voices in my head.

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<v Speaker 3>What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Will Smith?

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<v Speaker 5>Though he has an album coming out, he's a rapper again,

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<v Speaker 5>which is.

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<v Speaker 1>Put him in a box. He started that way, don't

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<v Speaker 1>put him in a box.

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<v Speaker 5>I guess if you slap somebody on live TV, you

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<v Speaker 5>gotta come out with a roar.

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<v Speaker 2>He is spiritual, He's in a different place. He's not the

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<v Speaker 2>same person anymore. You want Wilson to come out with

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<v Speaker 2>a game, It's not gonna happen, but I would buy it.

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<v Speaker 5>Though he's been on a promo tour promoting his album,

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<v Speaker 5>his upcoming album, and he went on a streamers platform recently,

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<v Speaker 5>and this specific streamer asked him to name his Mount

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<v Speaker 5>Rushmore of actors top four actors of all time, and

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<v Speaker 5>the first actor he named was himself. Of course, he

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<v Speaker 5>said he got to put hisself on there. But the

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<v Speaker 5>other three he named were Denzel Washington.

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<v Speaker 2>I get that, Daniel da Lewis, I get that, and

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<v Speaker 2>Marlon Brando.

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<v Speaker 8>Why he said it though I can understand he's older

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<v Speaker 8>people Revere the Godfather, So I can't understand why he said.

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<v Speaker 1>I get it.

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<v Speaker 3>I have no.

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<v Speaker 1>I have no. That's his list. I have no.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, who's on your Mount Rush?

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<v Speaker 1>Who's on my Mount rushmore?

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<v Speaker 2>Wowut If I start with commercial success and also want

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<v Speaker 2>to Oscar, I would have to start with will Smith,

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<v Speaker 2>Like he's box office Willie. Nobody else has done in

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<v Speaker 2>the movie space what he's done. If I'm talking about

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<v Speaker 2>art films and range and the ability to play a

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<v Speaker 2>bunch of different characters and just be great, like I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna go with Denzel Washington. My favorite actor of all

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<v Speaker 2>times everybody knows is Wesley Snipes. He pretty much created

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<v Speaker 2>the Marvel universe. He's played everything from Chu Wang Fuo

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<v Speaker 2>to What's the Other when White Man can't Jump play Blade.

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<v Speaker 1>Like New Jack City. There's no role that he hasn't played.

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<v Speaker 2>He played a baseball player in major leagues, like Wesley

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<v Speaker 2>Snipe has done everything. And if I have to go

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<v Speaker 2>with one more man we're talking about range, and we're

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<v Speaker 2>talking about commercial success and the ability to do everything,

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<v Speaker 2>it will be a toss up between Samuel l and.

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<v Speaker 1>Lawrence Fishburn. Be honest, I like to keep it black.

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<v Speaker 2>But Daniel day Lewis, Tom Hanks, uh, Leonardo DiCaprio, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>if I'm being honest and not keeping it black, you

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<v Speaker 2>can't have a Mount Rushmore without Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel day Lewis,

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<v Speaker 2>and Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is the only actor ever

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<v Speaker 2>to win two Oscars back to back as the leading man.

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<v Speaker 2>So those would be like putting it in around Mount Rushmore,

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<v Speaker 2>just those four, I can't do it. And the reason

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<v Speaker 2>why I stay black. I go with black verst is

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<v Speaker 2>because Hollywood wasn't created.

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<v Speaker 1>For black people.

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<v Speaker 2>So for those black men to have that success with

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<v Speaker 2>the amount of rules that's not written for us, I

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<v Speaker 2>always give them the nine. But that's not taking away

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<v Speaker 2>from the talent of our white counterparts.

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<v Speaker 8>Sorry, but I had exact reasons why I have Sidney

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<v Speaker 8>Poitier in my top five. Sidney Poitier broke the barrier

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<v Speaker 8>for a lot of the people to do anything that

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<v Speaker 8>they're doing.

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<v Speaker 7>You know what, he set the bar you know what.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't even now we say that Sidney pot did.

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<v Speaker 1>What about Morgan Freeman?

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<v Speaker 5>So it's interesting you're naming these people. So there's a

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<v Speaker 5>there's a documentary coming out later this month called uh

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah that's going to talk about the success of a

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<v Speaker 5>lot of these black actors, which I'm excited to watch.

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<v Speaker 3>Excited.

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<v Speaker 5>Next, I guess we can talk about politics a little bit.

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<v Speaker 5>Uh So recently Trump and Trump, the President, our president.

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<v Speaker 3>The people that president, and the people of them.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, President sign in executive order to dismantle the Department

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<v Speaker 5>of Education, which is insane. The Department of Education, they

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<v Speaker 5>control uh funding for education and higher education grants, uh

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<v Speaker 5>funding for services for children with disability. So a lot

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<v Speaker 5>of people think this is going to put people who

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<v Speaker 5>are already at risk further behind, like low income families

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<v Speaker 5>and special education students, and it's going to widen educational disparities.

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<v Speaker 5>So the Trump's idea behind this is to give power back.

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<v Speaker 1>To the states.

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<v Speaker 5>I think something that we understand about the Civil War

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<v Speaker 5>is that apparently it was about states, right, So here

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<v Speaker 5>we are back.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm glad you brought that up.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so glad you brought up the Civil War because

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<v Speaker 2>if people understand where the Department of Education came from,

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<v Speaker 2>they would understand why this is.

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<v Speaker 1>Never for us as black people.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, Right after the Civil War, the DC was created.

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<v Speaker 2>The UDC is the United Daughters of the Confederacy led

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<v Speaker 2>by a woman called named Mildred Rutherford, and Mildred Rutherford's

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<v Speaker 2>whole purpose of the United Daughters of the Confederacy was

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<v Speaker 2>to uphold the lost cause in doctrination. The lost cause

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<v Speaker 2>in doctrination was the indoctrination that the Confederacy was here

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<v Speaker 2>to save America. So what they did was they changed

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<v Speaker 2>all of the textbooks that we see federally to become whitewashed.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why there's no black history in the textbooks. So

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<v Speaker 2>for me, the dismantling of the Department of Education for

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<v Speaker 2>the federal level takes away the power of the federal

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:02.480
<v Speaker 2>level to tell all of our kids what they're going

0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.520
<v Speaker 2>to learn in schools. Now, him giving it to the

0:12:05.600 --> 0:12:09.600
<v Speaker 2>local leaders like states, allows the governors and the mayors

0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:12.240
<v Speaker 2>to decide how they're going to educate and the funding

0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.319
<v Speaker 2>they're going to use for their constituents, which.

0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:16.800
<v Speaker 4>I think makes it a little bit more tangible for

0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 4>people in their respective states. But if you're in those

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.560
<v Speaker 4>local elections and you're, you know, lobbying for the things

0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:24.760
<v Speaker 4>that you want, then there's probably a greater chance of

0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.280
<v Speaker 4>you getting those things now.

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:27.920
<v Speaker 1>If now the problem is doing that.

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.680
<v Speaker 2>If you cut the Board of Education, the federal funding

0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.760
<v Speaker 2>that comes down to these states get cut as well.

0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:36.559
<v Speaker 2>And a lot of that federal funding was to help

0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:40.080
<v Speaker 2>people who look like us. So I'm kind of torn.

0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm torn because our people need the funding, especially since

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:49.280
<v Speaker 2>we pay taxes. We need that funding to educate our kids.

0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:52.480
<v Speaker 2>But I'm torn because the education they teach our kids

0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:53.480
<v Speaker 2>is not the real education.

0:12:53.520 --> 0:12:57.200
<v Speaker 1>I give you a perfect example. Jackson just last month had.

0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.400
<v Speaker 2>To do a story or had to do a report

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:03.400
<v Speaker 2>on Western expansion, and all of the stuff they talked

0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:07.000
<v Speaker 2>about in Western Expansion never talked about the black the

0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.760
<v Speaker 2>black cowboys and the black sheriffs, and the people who

0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:11.400
<v Speaker 2>actually built this country.

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:12.520
<v Speaker 1>The Asians that came over here.

0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 2>All of the stories was about what the US government

0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.280
<v Speaker 2>did to help grow America.

0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:19.320
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, this is not real history.

0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:21.120
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying. I said, Jack you ever

0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:24.360
<v Speaker 2>heard about black holes? He was like, no, only from you.

0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.400
<v Speaker 2>And that leads me to my point. I don't care

0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.200
<v Speaker 2>what they do with the Department of Education because I

0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:34.160
<v Speaker 2>am going to always educate my kids period. Like whatever

0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.280
<v Speaker 2>funding they pull, I'm going to make sure that my

0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 2>kids understand who they are and where they stand when

0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:40.320
<v Speaker 2>it comes to history.

0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.880
<v Speaker 1>So my opinion on the Department of Education is, let

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.560
<v Speaker 1>the federal government do what they gotta do. I'm gonna

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:47.600
<v Speaker 1>make sure my kids know period.

0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I love that opera.

0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:52.720
<v Speaker 1>No opp from the rest of the crew.

0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:54.480
<v Speaker 7>I got no op because I'm not going to say

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.760
<v Speaker 7>anything as eloquent, but.

0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.120
<v Speaker 1>People know that history.

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:01.920
<v Speaker 2>I wrote the book that book. I wrote the book

0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.880
<v Speaker 2>The Ellis is in a time machine. Like I learned

0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:08.080
<v Speaker 2>about Mildred Rutherfoot should had my skin crawl like so

0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.559
<v Speaker 2>y'all actually had a woman go into the textbooks and say,

0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:12.440
<v Speaker 2>we're not going to say this.

0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:14.319
<v Speaker 1>We're going to say this just to uphold and.

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.080
<v Speaker 2>For people who don't know what the Lost Cause in

0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.720
<v Speaker 2>doctrination is, go back and watch.

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.720
<v Speaker 1>Birth of a Nation, the very first Birth of a Nation,

0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:22.360
<v Speaker 1>which was.

0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.280
<v Speaker 2>The first movie that played in the White House right

0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:28.160
<v Speaker 2>during reconstruction, and the movie was of white men in

0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:33.120
<v Speaker 2>blackface terrorizing the people of America, and the klu Klux

0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Klan came to save Americans because after well during reconstruction,

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.080
<v Speaker 2>the story they told of the Lost Cause was that

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 2>they finally allowed slaves and people of color to be

0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:46.360
<v Speaker 2>a part of the government, and they ran the government rampant,

0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.200
<v Speaker 2>and they needed the KKK to come save the people

0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:52.160
<v Speaker 2>of America from the black men that were raping and stealing.

0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.960
<v Speaker 2>That's the lost cause in doctrination, the fact that the

0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Confederacy was about states' rights and it wasn't about slavery.

0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 2>So what they're continuously doing is trying to indoctrinate generations

0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.080
<v Speaker 2>that the Confederacy was here to save America, not that

0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 2>they were pretty much treason this people who tried to

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.240
<v Speaker 2>separate from the Union and lost.

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:14.160
<v Speaker 1>The biggest thing is that the Confederacy.

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:16.680
<v Speaker 2>Lost the war, the Civil War, and they never wanted

0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.280
<v Speaker 2>to talk about them losing the war. So I think

0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.840
<v Speaker 2>it's important for people to understand where the Department of

0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Education sits and our people not just about funds, because

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 2>they will give our people funds and then have someone

0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:31.479
<v Speaker 2>educate them incorrectly.

0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.160
<v Speaker 1>That's just my opinion on it. You know what I'm saying.

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.840
<v Speaker 3>But I mean, we've never relied on the textbooks ever.

0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.760
<v Speaker 2>All of our kids have tutors and mentors, Like even

0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:45.080
<v Speaker 2>when we didn't have money, Padeen and Deval was in

0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:48.080
<v Speaker 2>that book with Jackson, Like, that's how I learned about

0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 2>so much of this stuff.

0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.080
<v Speaker 4>I was about to say, Deva's mom was just here

0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.160
<v Speaker 4>visiting with the boys, and I had gotten these little

0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:57.760
<v Speaker 4>flash cars that are just like black history flash cars

0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:58.440
<v Speaker 4>and stuff like that.

0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 3>Her eyes lit up. She was like, Yeah, I want

0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.240
<v Speaker 3>to go for some of these with the kids, because

0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.120
<v Speaker 3>your mom lived through.

0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 2>My mom lived through the end of the degregation, and

0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:11.600
<v Speaker 2>she was in Brooklyn and they had finally ended segregation

0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:15.000
<v Speaker 2>in the late sixties or early seventies, and she was

0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 2>one of the first group of black kids to go

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 2>to school in Marine integrated and they were chased out

0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.680
<v Speaker 2>of those schools every single day. So my mom doesn't

0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.640
<v Speaker 2>play when it comes to education. That's why I am

0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:28.080
<v Speaker 2>the way I am. And that's that's also why I'm

0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 2>so pro bleak history, because that history lives in me.

0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:33.720
<v Speaker 2>Like this to me isn't just opinions. These are facts

0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>that my mom made sure I knew, so Department of Education,

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I never rely on that. My mom used to sit

0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:40.480
<v Speaker 2>in all of the meetings and talk about funding. How

0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.680
<v Speaker 2>come none of this funding is going towards arts or

0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:44.560
<v Speaker 2>going towards this. My mom used to sit in the

0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.240
<v Speaker 2>meetings to be like this ain't right, and I realized,

0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.800
<v Speaker 2>like the federal government doesn't have the amount of power

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>people think they have when it comes to educating our

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:55.920
<v Speaker 2>people and our kids. So parents, if you're listening, handle

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:57.880
<v Speaker 2>that yourself. Don't even leave that up to them.

0:16:58.040 --> 0:17:02.800
<v Speaker 5>And just imagine parents who who have to work, single parents,

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:08.560
<v Speaker 5>have multiple children time. Yes, plus, this was an alarming

0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.480
<v Speaker 5>stat that I read the other day. Fifty six percent

0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 5>of American adults have a reading level below sixth grade.

0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:17.600
<v Speaker 1>So a lot of parents shocking.

0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 5>No, it's not shocking, but I'm just saying a lot

0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:23.719
<v Speaker 5>of a lot of parents don't even have, you know,

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.719
<v Speaker 5>the intelligence to teach their children. And that's what we're

0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 5>going to So we have to really rely on community

0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 5>in this time to try to make sure that our

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:33.840
<v Speaker 5>kids don't get left behind.

0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:36.760
<v Speaker 2>That's a problem on what you just said, And it

0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 2>doesn't surprise me fifty six percent because most people don't

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.680
<v Speaker 2>value school or education.

0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.280
<v Speaker 5>In our in our parents generation, a lot of times

0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.800
<v Speaker 5>they couldn't they had to make other choices.

0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.159
<v Speaker 2>That is true when I think about my grandmother. My

0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:53.440
<v Speaker 2>grandmother couldn't go to high school. She had to take

0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:55.919
<v Speaker 2>care of her siblings because there was six of them

0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:56.679
<v Speaker 2>and she was the oldest.

0:17:56.920 --> 0:17:58.320
<v Speaker 1>That is a very valid point.

0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:03.560
<v Speaker 5>And uh, back on the subject of burnout, I saw

0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:07.160
<v Speaker 5>a TikTok recently a woman named doctor Claire Ashley talking

0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.880
<v Speaker 5>about burnout, and she said that it takes on average

0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:13.639
<v Speaker 5>one to three years to recover from burnout. But she

0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:15.760
<v Speaker 5>said there's five stages of burnout that can help you

0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:20.320
<v Speaker 5>identify burnout quickly quicker, so that you can recover quicker,

0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:21.639
<v Speaker 5>just in case.

0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:23.320
<v Speaker 1>So are you interested in hearing I.

0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:25.600
<v Speaker 3>Would hear that's the perfect segue.

0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, all right.

0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:29.040
<v Speaker 5>Stage one is the honeymoon phase, she said. This is

0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.720
<v Speaker 5>when you start a new job. You're really excited, and

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:33.960
<v Speaker 5>so because you're so excited, you might take on more

0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:38.159
<v Speaker 5>work than you actually can handle and trying to prove yourself,

0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.800
<v Speaker 5>try to prove yourself excited about the work, excited to

0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.199
<v Speaker 5>do the thing. Yeah, and then that will lead you

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:46.679
<v Speaker 5>into phase two, which is the onset of stress. This

0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:48.960
<v Speaker 5>is when you start to notice that things becoming more

0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:51.960
<v Speaker 5>stressful you or you start to have more stressful days

0:18:52.000 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 5>than non stressful days, and you start to notice that

0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 5>you might be getting frustrated you might be feeling a

0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:00.960
<v Speaker 5>little bit overwhelmed, and that can lead to chronic stress

0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:02.720
<v Speaker 5>if you don't do anything about it at that point,

0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:05.679
<v Speaker 5>it will lead to the third phase, which is chronic stress.

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.880
<v Speaker 5>And this when you're chronically stressed, it affects your ability

0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:14.919
<v Speaker 5>to concentrate. You're less productive and you feel more overwhelmed, overwhelmed, yeah,

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.080
<v Speaker 5>and then that leads to the fourth stage, which is

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:21.359
<v Speaker 5>actual burnout where this is where the apathy really kicks in.

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:24.880
<v Speaker 5>You're feeling detached from your friends, detached from your family,

0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:28.159
<v Speaker 5>detached from your emotions, yeah, detached from the work, and

0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.640
<v Speaker 5>you're feeling a level of exhaustion that goes.

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:32.120
<v Speaker 1>Along with it.

0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:35.400
<v Speaker 5>And then that leads to the fifth stage of burnout,

0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:38.639
<v Speaker 5>which is habitual burnout, which is a loss of joy

0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.520
<v Speaker 5>in basically anything retired.

0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.479
<v Speaker 3>You might yeah.

0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:49.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, when you lose that, yeah, it can lead to

0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:56.320
<v Speaker 5>unhealthy habits, you know, seeking out dopamine to be.

0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.959
<v Speaker 2>Numb so that you don't have to feel what's happening.

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.080
<v Speaker 2>You did that not describe everything?

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Then? Yeah?

0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:06.160
<v Speaker 3>So I see a correlation between burnout and having kids.

0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:11.200
<v Speaker 4>Honey, labor delivery, postpartum, Oh shit is linked together.

0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:17.240
<v Speaker 2>You got labor delivery, no pregnancy, pregnancy first, then you

0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:21.960
<v Speaker 2>got labor delivery, and you have after.

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.240
<v Speaker 1>From postpartum, but sleep deprivation on top.

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.920
<v Speaker 4>Of all of that, all the things burnt burnout is

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.040
<v Speaker 4>a lot. Yeah, literally just want to be like by

0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.000
<v Speaker 4>my Well, what is it? How does it manifest itself

0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:35.199
<v Speaker 4>in you? Because for you with burnout, I know that

0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:37.479
<v Speaker 4>there's a detachment that happens that you just kind of

0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:42.320
<v Speaker 4>let go or coping mechanisms to deal with burnout. For me,

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:44.119
<v Speaker 4>I know when I'm burnt out, I just want to

0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:46.320
<v Speaker 4>shut everything down, Like I don't want to be around people,

0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:48.920
<v Speaker 4>don't I want to be by myself. I don't want

0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:51.280
<v Speaker 4>to do anything. I want to find the ways that

0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:54.720
<v Speaker 4>I can find joy. Sometimes that's not leaving my bed.

0:20:54.920 --> 0:21:00.240
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes that's continuously you know, watching a good show in

0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.200
<v Speaker 4>time with just my kids and my husband. Like those

0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:04.800
<v Speaker 4>are the things for me, I know I can find

0:21:04.880 --> 0:21:09.880
<v Speaker 4>a little bit of like recovery from For.

0:21:09.880 --> 0:21:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Me, I have to be purposeful about taking time for myself.

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:17.880
<v Speaker 2>Like what I've started to do now, I don't wake

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:22.160
<v Speaker 2>up my days anymore prepared to handle today. I don't

0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 2>wake up like I used to wake up phone check

0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:26.600
<v Speaker 2>my accounts.

0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:27.440
<v Speaker 3>That's a good point.

0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:29.320
<v Speaker 2>How much how much money came in, how much money

0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:31.360
<v Speaker 2>they came in, what came out? Let me call my advisor,

0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:33.320
<v Speaker 2>let me find out what it is. Then after that,

0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I checked my Instagram, my YouTube. I just make sure

0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:38.399
<v Speaker 2>that all my analytics is working right. Then it's like

0:21:38.560 --> 0:21:40.359
<v Speaker 2>the minute I woke up, I used to wake up.

0:21:40.359 --> 0:21:40.919
<v Speaker 1>That's what it was.

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:46.200
<v Speaker 4>So it's like you woke up and almost inviting burnout business, yeah.

0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:48.679
<v Speaker 2>Which which I found to be terrible for me. Like

0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I was gaining weight. My eyes used to be super

0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:54.000
<v Speaker 2>dark all the time. My hair was crazy, crazy thing,

0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:55.960
<v Speaker 2>you know what I'm saying. Like my body, even my

0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:58.560
<v Speaker 2>body five percentage. Matt was like, yoall looked at video

0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:00.680
<v Speaker 2>of you last year and didn't realize that you were

0:22:00.720 --> 0:22:02.439
<v Speaker 2>a lot bigger, Like I could see it in your face,

0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:06.360
<v Speaker 2>and I realized that I have in order to navigate burnout.

0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:08.680
<v Speaker 1>You can't let burnout happen. Right.

0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:11.200
<v Speaker 2>The first thing of navigating is don't get burnt out.

0:22:11.600 --> 0:22:13.720
<v Speaker 2>So I wake up in the morning. The for every

0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:16.399
<v Speaker 2>first thing I do when I wake up is I

0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:20.520
<v Speaker 2>go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, go to my fridge,

0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:23.840
<v Speaker 2>take my ginger shot and drink my warm tea with

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:26.080
<v Speaker 2>my probiotic and I just sit for a minute.

0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:29.520
<v Speaker 1>Sit, I meditate, I think about what it is I

0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:30.320
<v Speaker 1>want to do in life.

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:34.119
<v Speaker 2>Then I go work out, spend my hour and a

0:22:34.160 --> 0:22:37.520
<v Speaker 2>half focusing on myself and my body. At that point,

0:22:37.600 --> 0:22:40.200
<v Speaker 2>I've rested my gut, because you know, gut health is important.

0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I've stretched, I've meditated, I've made sure everything that was

0:22:43.960 --> 0:22:48.399
<v Speaker 2>important to myself first was taken care of. Then I

0:22:48.480 --> 0:22:51.119
<v Speaker 2>checked my count then I check my Instagram then. So

0:22:51.520 --> 0:22:53.800
<v Speaker 2>for me, navigating burnout was to make sure the vow

0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:56.399
<v Speaker 2>was okay first, and I never used to do that.

0:22:56.680 --> 0:23:01.399
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, for me with burnout, I realized that it

0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:06.600
<v Speaker 4>was happening when I or we you know, essentially were

0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:10.000
<v Speaker 4>chasing all of the things that we felt like we

0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.640
<v Speaker 4>needed to chase in order to be successful within this

0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:17.879
<v Speaker 4>career field. Right so, knowing the entertainment industry, the film

0:23:17.880 --> 0:23:21.440
<v Speaker 4>and television industry, now the social media industry, which has

0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:25.320
<v Speaker 4>become pretty much our livelihoods, for me, it was just like,

0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:29.960
<v Speaker 4>how can I chase every bag? You know, exist in

0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:32.720
<v Speaker 4>every opportunity because you never know at one point this

0:23:32.760 --> 0:23:34.560
<v Speaker 4>will be gone, Like we were saying in another episode,

0:23:34.560 --> 0:23:37.240
<v Speaker 4>ten years ago, social media and becoming a content creator

0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:39.800
<v Speaker 4>wasn't a thing. So I almost felt like for a

0:23:39.840 --> 0:23:42.520
<v Speaker 4>long time, like, at any point, this may not be

0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:45.639
<v Speaker 4>a thing anymore, So let me try to maximize and

0:23:45.720 --> 0:23:49.560
<v Speaker 4>capitalize on the opportunity now while I can, because taking

0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:53.080
<v Speaker 4>this opportunity may lead to that next big break. And

0:23:54.000 --> 0:23:57.960
<v Speaker 4>last year specifically, I realized like man like, I almost

0:23:57.960 --> 0:23:59.800
<v Speaker 4>felt like we were hustling backwards in a sense because

0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:01.479
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, if I'm taking this gig and it's not

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:03.280
<v Speaker 4>going to move the needle for me and in a

0:24:03.320 --> 0:24:06.600
<v Speaker 4>way that's successful for or could potentially be successful for

0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:09.439
<v Speaker 4>my career or from a professional standpoint, then it's like,

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.640
<v Speaker 4>am I just going to every event just to be seen,

0:24:12.119 --> 0:24:13.800
<v Speaker 4>you know, sitting on every panel just to say you're

0:24:13.840 --> 0:24:16.240
<v Speaker 4>on a panel, to be posting that you're all doing something?

0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 4>Or is this something that's really going to bring fulfillment

0:24:20.160 --> 0:24:23.639
<v Speaker 4>actually potentially bring me future opportunities. Is it going to

0:24:23.680 --> 0:24:26.119
<v Speaker 4>take me out of my home for an extended period

0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:28.040
<v Speaker 4>of time that I don't need to be away from home.

0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:30.840
<v Speaker 4>Those are the things that I had to start processing

0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:34.800
<v Speaker 4>and kind of asking myself to prevent eventually being burnt out.

0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:37.119
<v Speaker 2>So your first thing to naviate burnout was to be like,

0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:39.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm no longer doing the things that just don't serve

0:24:39.480 --> 0:24:43.359
<v Speaker 2>me directly, like not just doing stuff to do, eliminating busy.

0:24:43.080 --> 0:24:44.960
<v Speaker 3>Work, eliminating business the biggest thing.

0:24:45.440 --> 0:24:47.960
<v Speaker 2>Do busy work, Like, yeah, I'm sitting still, then I'm

0:24:48.000 --> 0:24:48.879
<v Speaker 2>not doing anything.

0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm not getting better exactly.

0:24:50.720 --> 0:24:53.280
<v Speaker 4>That was how I'm feeling about it. Yeah, So that

0:24:53.359 --> 0:24:56.359
<v Speaker 4>was the first thing. Also reinvesting time into myself and

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:58.240
<v Speaker 4>my health. So we both kind of got onto that

0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:00.960
<v Speaker 4>bandwagon where we're like, you know what, nothing is gonna

0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:04.080
<v Speaker 4>work if he and I aren't healthy. So we've been

0:25:04.119 --> 0:25:06.920
<v Speaker 4>super supportive in both of our journeys to really make

0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:10.639
<v Speaker 4>sure that from a health standpoint, we're investing in ourselves,

0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:14.240
<v Speaker 4>we're eating better, we're getting the sleep. Like team no sleep,

0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:16.040
<v Speaker 4>that's no longer a thing for me. Yeah, that's not

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:18.639
<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna need my sleep. I'm gonna need my seven

0:25:18.640 --> 0:25:20.439
<v Speaker 4>to eight hours of sleep. Even when I was filming

0:25:20.440 --> 0:25:22.720
<v Speaker 4>and stuff like that, I'm like I had to prioritize

0:25:22.720 --> 0:25:23.640
<v Speaker 4>and like, am I gonna work out?

0:25:23.640 --> 0:25:24.840
<v Speaker 3>Am I gonna study? Am I what?

0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:26.879
<v Speaker 4>Am I gonna do in this you know, short amount

0:25:26.920 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 4>of time that I have to recover for the next day.

0:25:28.560 --> 0:25:30.399
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, you know what, I'm going to sleep.

0:25:30.600 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 2>But I do think team no sleep is part of

0:25:32.400 --> 0:25:35.160
<v Speaker 2>the reason why burnout is so big in this generation. Yes,

0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:37.760
<v Speaker 2>like it became a badger honor. Yeah, and it used

0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:39.000
<v Speaker 2>to be for me when I used to be like, man,

0:25:39.040 --> 0:25:41.520
<v Speaker 2>I work eighteen hours and I didn't sleep. It wasn't

0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:45.320
<v Speaker 2>until I realized how much sleep was important for my recovery,

0:25:45.600 --> 0:25:49.359
<v Speaker 2>not just physically but mentally. Like you when you don't

0:25:49.400 --> 0:25:53.800
<v Speaker 2>sleep and you can't function because your cognitive dissonance.

0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Is like all over the place.

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:57.280
<v Speaker 2>I can't even separate myself from stuff I want to

0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:00.400
<v Speaker 2>because I can't even realize what's happening. And then that's

0:26:00.400 --> 0:26:03.359
<v Speaker 2>a reality. What happens is when you don't sleep, you

0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:06.200
<v Speaker 2>start to do busy work because you really can't decide

0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:08.400
<v Speaker 2>what's important because your mind is all over the place.

0:26:08.440 --> 0:26:10.920
<v Speaker 2>So you do everything, yeah, and before you know it,

0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:13.640
<v Speaker 2>you're doing everything but also doing.

0:26:13.480 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 4>Nothing right and you're not showing up one hundred percent anywhere.

0:26:16.560 --> 0:26:18.000
<v Speaker 3>Everything is just kind of scattered.

0:26:18.320 --> 0:26:20.480
<v Speaker 4>So for me, that was some of the biggest things

0:26:20.480 --> 0:26:22.920
<v Speaker 4>that I had to navigate when I realized like burnout

0:26:23.000 --> 0:26:25.639
<v Speaker 4>was definitely coming on. I realized too, that you can

0:26:25.680 --> 0:26:27.600
<v Speaker 4>be burnt out in so many different ways. Like there's

0:26:27.640 --> 0:26:31.320
<v Speaker 4>physical burnout, there's emotional burnout, there's a spiritual burnout, there's

0:26:31.520 --> 0:26:34.480
<v Speaker 4>you know, mental burnout. And I say all the time,

0:26:34.520 --> 0:26:35.879
<v Speaker 4>I feel like even just as a mom and a

0:26:35.880 --> 0:26:38.040
<v Speaker 4>wife and a business woman, like there's so many tabs

0:26:38.080 --> 0:26:40.920
<v Speaker 4>opened in my brain that I had to realize. Sometimes

0:26:40.920 --> 0:26:45.640
<v Speaker 4>asking for help and delegating responsibilities things like that helped

0:26:45.960 --> 0:26:49.159
<v Speaker 4>me navigate when I felt like, you know what, I

0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:52.360
<v Speaker 4>just can't do this anymore. And it's sad when it

0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:54.800
<v Speaker 4>hits you when you realize, like damn, like the love

0:26:54.840 --> 0:26:57.320
<v Speaker 4>for the things that I want to do, I can't

0:26:57.359 --> 0:26:59.159
<v Speaker 4>even do them because I don't have the energy to

0:26:59.200 --> 0:27:02.480
<v Speaker 4>do it. When I realized it was affecting the time

0:27:02.520 --> 0:27:04.679
<v Speaker 4>with the kids, for example, it's like I rather just

0:27:04.760 --> 0:27:08.240
<v Speaker 4>lay in bed and have some mean time versus like

0:27:08.480 --> 0:27:09.679
<v Speaker 4>wanting to chill with the kids.

0:27:09.760 --> 0:27:12.760
<v Speaker 1>Like that was a problem for burnout. Was affecting your

0:27:12.760 --> 0:27:14.199
<v Speaker 1>family and what you want to do at home. I

0:27:14.200 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 1>got a question, trouble.

0:27:15.880 --> 0:27:18.960
<v Speaker 2>I know there are some facts and stacks about burnout right,

0:27:19.600 --> 0:27:20.480
<v Speaker 2>let me hear some of those.

0:27:20.800 --> 0:27:25.800
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, so it's not a medical condition, but the World

0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:30.800
<v Speaker 5>Health Organization does recognize that it can cause people to

0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 5>feel physically and emotionally drained or be exhausted, or they

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:37.840
<v Speaker 5>may also feel cynical.

0:27:39.240 --> 0:27:41.600
<v Speaker 1>But it's not a medical condition. It's not considered a

0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:42.359
<v Speaker 1>medical condition.

0:27:42.480 --> 0:27:47.760
<v Speaker 5>No, but it can produce medical mental emotional symptoms like depression, Yeah,

0:27:47.800 --> 0:27:51.679
<v Speaker 5>like depression, anxiety, and it can make it difficult to

0:27:52.040 --> 0:27:56.359
<v Speaker 5>enjoy daily life. Some people also can have physical symptoms,

0:27:56.440 --> 0:28:02.080
<v Speaker 5>like if you have something called somatic symptom syndrome, it's

0:28:02.119 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 5>a turn it's a type of anxiety where you conflate

0:28:05.960 --> 0:28:11.639
<v Speaker 5>stress with physical illness, so it can mimic physical illness.

0:28:12.000 --> 0:28:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Are we not tired of all of these diagnoses? There's

0:28:15.359 --> 0:28:17.399
<v Speaker 2>like fifteen thousand versions.

0:28:17.000 --> 0:28:19.119
<v Speaker 3>Of depression and anxiety.

0:28:19.240 --> 0:28:22.359
<v Speaker 2>And I'm gonna be honest, bro, I I feel like

0:28:22.400 --> 0:28:27.159
<v Speaker 2>sometimes we're getting too like clinical with things because we

0:28:27.240 --> 0:28:30.919
<v Speaker 2>have kids now who are like eleven, and they're like

0:28:31.000 --> 0:28:34.439
<v Speaker 2>that have anxiety about this. I don't think I should

0:28:34.440 --> 0:28:36.119
<v Speaker 2>do this, And it's like, well, hold up, hold up,

0:28:36.400 --> 0:28:38.800
<v Speaker 2>you eleven, you don't really have no anxiety about what

0:28:39.160 --> 0:28:39.960
<v Speaker 2>you're scared.

0:28:40.400 --> 0:28:41.600
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, I don't know.

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:43.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm kind of torn with that because I feel like

0:28:43.640 --> 0:28:44.240
<v Speaker 3>I feel I'm.

0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Talking with that because I'm torn.

0:28:46.800 --> 0:28:49.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm torn because I think as we grew up right

0:28:50.080 --> 0:28:52.520
<v Speaker 4>and we were told to just push through things and

0:28:52.600 --> 0:28:53.960
<v Speaker 4>to deal with it and this.

0:28:53.840 --> 0:28:55.560
<v Speaker 3>Is part of the chorus, and this is how you

0:28:55.640 --> 0:28:56.640
<v Speaker 3>become successful.

0:28:56.960 --> 0:28:58.920
<v Speaker 4>It's like we just kind of put our head down

0:28:59.000 --> 0:29:02.000
<v Speaker 4>and then ignore the way we felt about a lot

0:29:02.040 --> 0:29:04.800
<v Speaker 4>of things, which is internal why I think adults, our

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:07.480
<v Speaker 4>age millennials specifically have the.

0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 3>Issues and the anxiety the things that.

0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:14.680
<v Speaker 4>They have now versus now that we've put people on notice, like, Okay,

0:29:14.680 --> 0:29:17.520
<v Speaker 4>maybe there are days that you need a mental health day,

0:29:17.640 --> 0:29:20.800
<v Speaker 4>or you need a day to kind of just relax,

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:22.000
<v Speaker 4>or maybe you should be.

0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:23.720
<v Speaker 3>Cognizant of how you feel mentally.

0:29:24.400 --> 0:29:27.360
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, there's I gotta hear I

0:29:27.440 --> 0:29:27.960
<v Speaker 1>gotta hear it.

0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:30.760
<v Speaker 2>I hear what you're saying, but it's just used too

0:29:30.760 --> 0:29:34.480
<v Speaker 2>often acknowledgy days a kid need a mental health day,

0:29:34.960 --> 0:29:36.520
<v Speaker 2>three days a kid don't want to go to school.

0:29:37.320 --> 0:29:40.440
<v Speaker 9>Side that part, but I would not ignore the fact

0:29:40.520 --> 0:29:42.160
<v Speaker 9>that anxiety is a real thing.

0:29:42.360 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm not talking about anxiety.

0:29:43.880 --> 0:29:47.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about burnout being considered a type of anxiety.

0:29:47.800 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 2>It seems like everything now is considered anxiety. If a

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 2>kid is afraid to run the four hundred in track,

0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:59.080
<v Speaker 2>he has anxiety. It's like we clinically diagnose everything everything

0:29:59.400 --> 0:30:02.120
<v Speaker 2>when sometimes I'm just like, yo, get the fucking stick

0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:03.520
<v Speaker 2>out of your ass and try.

0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:04.640
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying.

0:30:04.960 --> 0:30:05.800
<v Speaker 3>It has to balance.

0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 6>No, I agree.

0:30:09.480 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 9>I think there's a there's a fear, and then there's anxiety,

0:30:13.080 --> 0:30:16.200
<v Speaker 9>and and one of most of those things can be

0:30:16.280 --> 0:30:18.800
<v Speaker 9>fear where kids are scared to do things. And then

0:30:18.880 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 9>there are some things that are legit anxieties. I know,

0:30:21.960 --> 0:30:26.800
<v Speaker 9>for example, Uh, Victoria early in her life had anxiety

0:30:26.840 --> 0:30:30.480
<v Speaker 9>that we did not understand. I especially didn't understand because

0:30:30.800 --> 0:30:32.680
<v Speaker 9>I don't really have anxiety about certain things. And if

0:30:32.720 --> 0:30:35.760
<v Speaker 9>I do have anxiety, I just I chalk that up

0:30:35.800 --> 0:30:38.400
<v Speaker 9>to just nerves or inexperience or just me just not

0:30:38.680 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 9>necessarily understanding the gravity of it all. But I had

0:30:43.240 --> 0:30:48.200
<v Speaker 9>to understand that her that she had anxiety, the anxiety

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:50.480
<v Speaker 9>was real, and learn how to deal and cope and

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:53.680
<v Speaker 9>teach her and culture through those things. So my only

0:30:53.720 --> 0:30:57.160
<v Speaker 9>point is to the anxiety that yes, I do agree

0:30:57.200 --> 0:31:01.280
<v Speaker 9>that everything in our society we can say, oh, it's anxiety,

0:31:01.320 --> 0:31:04.080
<v Speaker 9>But then there's a certain there's a certain place that

0:31:04.160 --> 0:31:05.760
<v Speaker 9>I had to grow up and be like, maybe I

0:31:05.760 --> 0:31:11.080
<v Speaker 9>should look into this, and I should I should probably

0:31:11.120 --> 0:31:16.000
<v Speaker 9>ignore the fact that I should ignore the tough love

0:31:16.680 --> 0:31:18.600
<v Speaker 9>sentiment when it comes to certain things like that.

0:31:19.000 --> 0:31:21.480
<v Speaker 5>And I will say this on the topic of stats,

0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:25.520
<v Speaker 5>the National Alliance on Mental Health did a poll a

0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:28.680
<v Speaker 5>survey asking people about burnout or their work and their

0:31:29.240 --> 0:31:33.440
<v Speaker 5>mental health, and they shared that sixty sixty two percent

0:31:33.720 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 5>of employees who reported on the survey feeling uncomfortable about

0:31:37.920 --> 0:31:43.240
<v Speaker 5>sharing about their mental health also reported feeling burned out

0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:44.280
<v Speaker 5>by their jobs.

0:31:44.520 --> 0:31:45.560
<v Speaker 1>So there's a dress.

0:31:46.920 --> 0:31:50.560
<v Speaker 5>They did a survey on ten two thousand people in

0:31:50.600 --> 0:31:52.840
<v Speaker 5>the workforce in the United States.

0:31:53.880 --> 0:31:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I can understand that because the United States is known

0:31:55.960 --> 0:31:58.880
<v Speaker 2>for overworking people in every aspect of But.

0:31:58.880 --> 0:32:01.520
<v Speaker 5>My point is that if you're you're unable to share

0:32:01.880 --> 0:32:05.840
<v Speaker 5>about your mental health because you might feel that anxiety

0:32:05.920 --> 0:32:07.800
<v Speaker 5>is not a real thing, or there's too much anxiety,

0:32:07.880 --> 0:32:10.120
<v Speaker 5>or I'm just feeling something else. I don't want to

0:32:10.120 --> 0:32:11.960
<v Speaker 5>talk about my mental health because you're not gonna believe

0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:13.240
<v Speaker 5>me or it's not real or whatever.

0:32:13.560 --> 0:32:15.040
<v Speaker 1>You're also struggling.

0:32:15.120 --> 0:32:17.360
<v Speaker 5>You might also be challenged because you feel burnt out

0:32:17.400 --> 0:32:19.360
<v Speaker 5>and you're forcing your way through it.

0:32:19.560 --> 0:32:22.480
<v Speaker 2>So this is my thing, similar to what Josh just

0:32:22.520 --> 0:32:25.360
<v Speaker 2>spoke about. When I got to the NFL. You know,

0:32:25.360 --> 0:32:29.440
<v Speaker 2>they have you speak with sometimes sports psychologists or you know,

0:32:29.480 --> 0:32:32.959
<v Speaker 2>you go speak to your sports you play a performance person.

0:32:33.560 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 2>And I went to speak to him and it was

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:36.160
<v Speaker 2>just like, man, it sounds like the valle that you

0:32:36.200 --> 0:32:38.680
<v Speaker 2>grew up with, you know, performance anxiety. And when I

0:32:38.760 --> 0:32:41.080
<v Speaker 2>was telling you, and I was just like, what's performance anxiety?

0:32:41.120 --> 0:32:42.240
<v Speaker 2>And it was just like, you know, it's the fear

0:32:42.280 --> 0:32:43.960
<v Speaker 2>to perform in front of people, no D d D.

0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:45.840
<v Speaker 2>And then I was thinking about it, I was like, oh,

0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:46.880
<v Speaker 2>there's a clinical name for that.

0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:47.360
<v Speaker 1>Didn't know that.

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.800
<v Speaker 2>So I'm telling people I grew up with performance anxiety,

0:32:50.080 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 2>but you know how I got through it perform perform realistically.

0:32:55.080 --> 0:32:57.440
<v Speaker 2>Is it really an anxiety or is it a And

0:32:57.480 --> 0:33:00.320
<v Speaker 2>that's my point. This, This dude told me that I

0:33:00.360 --> 0:33:04.600
<v Speaker 2>grew up with performance anxiety and pretty much clinically told

0:33:04.640 --> 0:33:05.440
<v Speaker 2>me this is what it was.

0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:07.440
<v Speaker 1>And this and I was just like, okay, But then

0:33:07.440 --> 0:33:08.440
<v Speaker 1>when I thought about.

0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:10.400
<v Speaker 2>My life, I was like I always was concerned about

0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:12.600
<v Speaker 2>things that I had never done before, and the only

0:33:12.640 --> 0:33:14.600
<v Speaker 2>way I got rid of the fear was by practicing.

0:33:14.800 --> 0:33:16.240
<v Speaker 4>I was about to say that, so it's not even

0:33:16.320 --> 0:33:20.200
<v Speaker 4>really performance anxiety. It's once you feel confident enough to perform,

0:33:20.320 --> 0:33:22.520
<v Speaker 4>then that anxiety goes away because you're prepared.

0:33:22.840 --> 0:33:24.280
<v Speaker 1>But he told me I have performance.

0:33:25.640 --> 0:33:28.640
<v Speaker 9>I guess you can make your way through performance anxiety

0:33:28.720 --> 0:33:32.080
<v Speaker 9>like you can heal yourself of performance anxiety.

0:33:32.080 --> 0:33:37.040
<v Speaker 5>Preparing and performing anxiety isn't always something that is debilitating

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:40.040
<v Speaker 5>or it takes over your life. When it does take

0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:42.240
<v Speaker 5>over your life, that's when you might need to have

0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:46.560
<v Speaker 5>medication or some form of like talk therapy or E M,

0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:48.480
<v Speaker 5>d R something like that. But if you have a

0:33:48.640 --> 0:33:55.960
<v Speaker 5>general anxiety about something, even if it's no, it's a

0:33:56.080 --> 0:33:57.440
<v Speaker 5>type of therapy.

0:33:58.960 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 1>Now you don't have anxiety.

0:34:01.280 --> 0:34:02.720
<v Speaker 3>It's a different kind of burned out.

0:34:05.080 --> 0:34:08.640
<v Speaker 5>It is a type of therapy that it's called eye movement,

0:34:08.719 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 5>desensitization and reprocessing. It's psychotherapy is a technique that helps

0:34:14.040 --> 0:34:17.480
<v Speaker 5>reduce distress associated with disturbing memories.

0:34:17.480 --> 0:34:20.520
<v Speaker 1>They use it a lot for PTSD and anxiety.

0:34:26.320 --> 0:34:28.799
<v Speaker 2>Like when you've dealt with certain traumas that you when

0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:33.000
<v Speaker 2>you have anxiety, that to me is very different than yeah.

0:34:32.600 --> 0:34:35.080
<v Speaker 1>Free to play this game, you know what I'm saying.

0:34:35.080 --> 0:34:38.000
<v Speaker 5>But yeah, so everybody has a level of anxiety. It

0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:41.080
<v Speaker 5>can be a medical issue if it gets to the

0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:44.880
<v Speaker 5>point where it disrupts your everyday life. And if it

0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:47.000
<v Speaker 5>disrupts your every day life, you might go to therapy

0:34:47.040 --> 0:34:50.319
<v Speaker 5>and a therapist might do something called exposure therapy where

0:34:50.320 --> 0:34:52.319
<v Speaker 5>they kind of force you to do the thing that

0:34:52.360 --> 0:34:52.960
<v Speaker 5>you're scared to.

0:34:52.880 --> 0:34:55.320
<v Speaker 1>Do, which is what you just said exactly.

0:34:55.360 --> 0:34:57.879
<v Speaker 5>But if you have a level of anxiety where it's

0:34:57.920 --> 0:35:01.320
<v Speaker 5>disrupting your everyday life, you can't get to that place

0:35:01.640 --> 0:35:04.600
<v Speaker 5>by yourself. So luckily for you, you're able to get

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:07.480
<v Speaker 5>past your performance anxiety because you can force yourself to

0:35:07.520 --> 0:35:09.279
<v Speaker 5>do the thing that you're scared to do because you

0:35:09.320 --> 0:35:12.040
<v Speaker 5>don't have a level of anxiety that's keeping you from

0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:12.680
<v Speaker 5>doing that thing.

0:35:13.040 --> 0:35:20.440
<v Speaker 2>Copy So, since burnout isn't a clinical diagnosis, if people

0:35:20.480 --> 0:35:24.160
<v Speaker 2>can work through burnout, which is ultimately fatigue, to a

0:35:24.200 --> 0:35:28.920
<v Speaker 2>point where your so fatigue that you start to have

0:35:28.960 --> 0:35:32.480
<v Speaker 2>these symptoms of anxiety, pretty much that's what burnout is.

0:35:33.239 --> 0:35:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Han sleep, physically tired, headaches, you know what I'm saying, exhaustion.

0:35:39.400 --> 0:35:40.320
<v Speaker 1>So that's what burnout is.

0:35:40.360 --> 0:35:42.759
<v Speaker 2>And the reason why I want to separate the two

0:35:43.000 --> 0:35:45.320
<v Speaker 2>is so that when listeners are listening or whoever's watching

0:35:45.360 --> 0:35:48.760
<v Speaker 2>at home, you understand the difference between anxiety and burnout

0:35:48.800 --> 0:35:50.960
<v Speaker 2>and don't just mix because I think that's what happens.

0:35:51.239 --> 0:35:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Everything becomes a kerfuffle, you know what I'm saying. Everything

0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:57.040
<v Speaker 2>now gets put under one thing. And if we're really

0:35:57.040 --> 0:35:58.800
<v Speaker 2>going to have this conversation, I really want people to

0:35:58.880 --> 0:35:59.880
<v Speaker 2>understand the difference.

0:36:00.480 --> 0:36:03.680
<v Speaker 1>Like burnout is not a clinical diagnosis.

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Where you was born with burnout and you tend to

0:36:05.040 --> 0:36:06.560
<v Speaker 2>continuously always get burned out.

0:36:06.560 --> 0:36:08.400
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying. Burnout is something you.

0:36:08.400 --> 0:36:11.240
<v Speaker 3>Can and self inflicted most of the time.

0:36:11.480 --> 0:36:13.520
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I want people to understand the difference.

0:36:13.560 --> 0:36:16.760
<v Speaker 2>Anxiety is something like y'all just discussed, you can't control

0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:19.360
<v Speaker 2>over it, but there's ways to work through your anxiety.

0:36:19.719 --> 0:36:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Burnout you have one hundred percent control over it. That's

0:36:22.360 --> 0:36:26.160
<v Speaker 2>why it's not a clinical diagnosis. So we can prevent burnout.

0:36:25.840 --> 0:36:30.560
<v Speaker 4>Right, but you may exhibit thingsts symptoms of right, it's

0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:32.440
<v Speaker 4>almost like googling something on webin dan and it's just like,

0:36:32.440 --> 0:36:33.800
<v Speaker 4>oh my god, I'm about to die because I have

0:36:33.840 --> 0:36:35.799
<v Speaker 4>all the symptoms at the same time, you know, but

0:36:35.840 --> 0:36:37.520
<v Speaker 4>it's easy to kind of get them across.

0:36:38.040 --> 0:36:42.080
<v Speaker 2>I like the separation of the two so people understand

0:36:42.120 --> 0:36:44.680
<v Speaker 2>because people also need to know when you have anxiety,

0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:47.600
<v Speaker 2>which is a clinical diagnosis and need to seek someone,

0:36:48.120 --> 0:36:50.799
<v Speaker 2>as opposed to just thinking I have burnout, And it's

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:51.719
<v Speaker 2>important for people.

0:36:51.520 --> 0:36:54.160
<v Speaker 1>To know do you have anxiety or are you burnt out?

0:36:54.719 --> 0:36:57.600
<v Speaker 2>And understanding the difference between the two can help people

0:36:57.640 --> 0:36:58.759
<v Speaker 2>go get the help they need.

0:36:59.320 --> 0:37:01.719
<v Speaker 4>At what point do you because I thought this is

0:37:01.760 --> 0:37:04.920
<v Speaker 4>pretty interesting, do you tend to lose some interest in

0:37:04.960 --> 0:37:08.800
<v Speaker 4>your career or like your professional goals because of burnout?

0:37:09.000 --> 0:37:10.919
<v Speaker 4>I feel like I've never seen that with you where

0:37:10.920 --> 0:37:14.600
<v Speaker 4>you're like, Okay, I'm feeling burnt out, but you know,

0:37:14.920 --> 0:37:17.520
<v Speaker 4>I don't think I want to do this acting thing anymore,

0:37:18.000 --> 0:37:19.480
<v Speaker 4>like where it's ever been like a doubt. Do you

0:37:19.600 --> 0:37:21.319
<v Speaker 4>feel like it's just par for the course or do

0:37:21.360 --> 0:37:23.440
<v Speaker 4>you feel like because for me, I can see how

0:37:23.480 --> 0:37:26.640
<v Speaker 4>sometimes the doubt can now kind of trickle in, like

0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:29.319
<v Speaker 4>do I have what it takes. If I can't deal

0:37:29.360 --> 0:37:31.160
<v Speaker 4>with this and I'm burnt out trying to get to

0:37:31.280 --> 0:37:36.360
<v Speaker 4>this goal or this job or this next level, I

0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:39.080
<v Speaker 4>can see how it starts to force someone to question

0:37:39.160 --> 0:37:41.560
<v Speaker 4>whether this is even the right field for them.

0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:43.840
<v Speaker 1>This is how my hand do that. Unless you got something.

0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:47.200
<v Speaker 8>That I was going to say that low key burnout

0:37:47.239 --> 0:37:52.160
<v Speaker 8>help me. I was burnt out doing weddings and I

0:37:52.160 --> 0:37:53.920
<v Speaker 8>had to get out of there, and it helped me

0:37:53.920 --> 0:37:56.759
<v Speaker 8>get further my career because I got tired of doing

0:37:56.800 --> 0:37:58.680
<v Speaker 8>the same old, same, the same old weddings.

0:37:59.320 --> 0:38:00.319
<v Speaker 7>I just got tired of it.

0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:02.719
<v Speaker 2>And you know what it reminds me of though, you

0:38:02.760 --> 0:38:05.319
<v Speaker 2>never wanted to just do weddings, same way I never

0:38:05.360 --> 0:38:08.080
<v Speaker 2>wanted to just be an NFL athlete. When you get

0:38:08.120 --> 0:38:11.480
<v Speaker 2>burnt out doing something you really don't want to do, yeah,

0:38:11.560 --> 0:38:15.080
<v Speaker 2>it's like, yo, my body is telling me because with acting,

0:38:15.160 --> 0:38:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll get up tired, not tired because I love.

0:38:18.719 --> 0:38:21.640
<v Speaker 3>It, you love it. Yeah, they don't feel like work.

0:38:22.360 --> 0:38:25.080
<v Speaker 1>You're just get burnt out on set one time.

0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:27.959
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but I think you were also navigating the things

0:38:28.000 --> 0:38:31.000
<v Speaker 4>around the set. It was household stuff. It was a

0:38:31.000 --> 0:38:33.560
<v Speaker 4>bunch of things that yeah, everybody was sick. You were

0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:34.239
<v Speaker 4>physically sick.

0:38:34.280 --> 0:38:36.200
<v Speaker 2>I was physically sick. Yeah, But I think that's also

0:38:36.239 --> 0:38:38.720
<v Speaker 2>important conversation to talk about. Just because you love something,

0:38:39.000 --> 0:38:40.879
<v Speaker 2>don't mean that you're supposed to do it every day

0:38:40.880 --> 0:38:42.600
<v Speaker 2>for eighteen hours. You still got to take care of

0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:45.400
<v Speaker 2>your body, your mind, and your spirit. That's actually a

0:38:45.400 --> 0:38:48.200
<v Speaker 2>good point about because I do love acting, and I

0:38:49.040 --> 0:38:51.320
<v Speaker 2>am the type of person that gets obsessive over things.

0:38:51.520 --> 0:38:53.319
<v Speaker 2>So I'll get up in early in the morning, I'll

0:38:53.360 --> 0:38:56.040
<v Speaker 2>do my readings, then I'll go work out, then I'll

0:38:56.080 --> 0:38:56.879
<v Speaker 2>go do something else.

0:38:56.920 --> 0:38:59.560
<v Speaker 4>But your body's an instrument. Absolutely, if you wanted to

0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:01.239
<v Speaker 4>show up, you when it needs to show up, then

0:39:01.280 --> 0:39:02.279
<v Speaker 4>you guys take care of it too.

0:39:02.360 --> 0:39:04.759
<v Speaker 2>So I got I got my moment of truth when

0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:07.000
<v Speaker 2>she just said that. Appreciate you, Matt, because that was

0:39:07.040 --> 0:39:08.960
<v Speaker 2>a good point though bringing that up.

0:39:09.320 --> 0:39:10.080
<v Speaker 1>That is a good.

0:39:09.880 --> 0:39:12.120
<v Speaker 3>Point, right, It's like, is it burnout or is this

0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:14.280
<v Speaker 3>just part of the time.

0:39:14.120 --> 0:39:16.799
<v Speaker 1>To go that's the point. Is it burnout or I'm

0:39:16.880 --> 0:39:17.400
<v Speaker 1>just over.

0:39:17.239 --> 0:39:19.040
<v Speaker 3>This, right or is it just part of the process

0:39:19.040 --> 0:39:21.040
<v Speaker 3>And you're going to have to find a way to navigate.

0:39:20.880 --> 0:39:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Which goes to what we talked about last time. Which

0:39:24.640 --> 0:39:28.759
<v Speaker 2>was not navigating burnout, but knowing when to what walk away,

0:39:28.840 --> 0:39:29.440
<v Speaker 2>let go go.

0:39:29.880 --> 0:39:30.680
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying.

0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:33.280
<v Speaker 2>It's like, when you realize you're getting burnt out of something,

0:39:34.320 --> 0:39:37.400
<v Speaker 2>it might be time, like Matt say, to let this go.

0:39:37.600 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 2>And maybe that's a good part, a good way to

0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:43.680
<v Speaker 2>navigate burnout if you notice you're getting burnt out of something.

0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:45.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, letting go.

0:39:46.680 --> 0:39:47.839
<v Speaker 1>I got my moment of truth too.

0:39:49.200 --> 0:39:50.440
<v Speaker 3>Well, congratulations.

0:39:51.200 --> 0:39:54.680
<v Speaker 1>I love when you get your little moments of truth together. Yeah.

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:58.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. All right, y'all any other tips tricks

0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:00.399
<v Speaker 3>thoughts on now?

0:40:00.880 --> 0:40:04.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, I know Josh was burnt out at one point.

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:05.640
<v Speaker 2>How did you get through that?

0:40:05.680 --> 0:40:13.680
<v Speaker 9>Bro get I get burnt out probably every September October ish.

0:40:13.719 --> 0:40:14.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh, that's what is season.

0:40:15.160 --> 0:40:17.920
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, so it didn't happen for a really long time.

0:40:17.920 --> 0:40:21.399
<v Speaker 9>I didn't even know what it was when it first

0:40:21.480 --> 0:40:25.960
<v Speaker 9>happened to me back in twenty twenty. No before that,

0:40:26.480 --> 0:40:27.960
<v Speaker 9>I did get burn out of twenty twenty, but that

0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:29.320
<v Speaker 9>was pandemic.

0:40:28.960 --> 0:40:30.640
<v Speaker 1>And that was I think everybody was burned through.

0:40:31.120 --> 0:40:33.400
<v Speaker 9>But for the first time I happened to I got depressed.

0:40:33.440 --> 0:40:37.759
<v Speaker 9>It was just like straight depressing. I'm looking now at

0:40:37.840 --> 0:40:41.080
<v Speaker 9>what I'm doing versus what everyone I was comparing myself

0:40:41.120 --> 0:40:43.640
<v Speaker 9>to everyone else, like damn, this person went on vacation

0:40:43.760 --> 0:40:46.480
<v Speaker 9>and I'm stuck in front of the computer or and

0:40:46.600 --> 0:40:49.600
<v Speaker 9>shit happens a lot, like I'll just be here and

0:40:49.600 --> 0:40:53.560
<v Speaker 9>then I'll pick up this and everyone's else's life is

0:40:53.680 --> 0:40:55.239
<v Speaker 9>pasted like they're enjoying it.

0:40:55.280 --> 0:40:56.280
<v Speaker 1>That's what's wrong with the phone.

0:40:56.960 --> 0:40:59.799
<v Speaker 9>They're enjoying their lives, and I am not enjoying my life,

0:41:00.120 --> 0:41:02.799
<v Speaker 9>not enjoying what I'm doing. And it's it's not a

0:41:02.800 --> 0:41:05.680
<v Speaker 9>situation where I don't enjoy what I'm doing, insaid, I'm

0:41:05.719 --> 0:41:07.960
<v Speaker 9>doing too much of what I'm doing and I don't

0:41:08.000 --> 0:41:13.279
<v Speaker 9>have any balance. And then on top of that, you

0:41:13.280 --> 0:41:14.200
<v Speaker 9>don't have balance.

0:41:13.880 --> 0:41:14.520
<v Speaker 7>With your family.

0:41:14.719 --> 0:41:17.040
<v Speaker 9>Your family feels like they need you, but you're stuck.

0:41:17.600 --> 0:41:20.200
<v Speaker 9>It's almost like there is literally no escape. Which was

0:41:20.320 --> 0:41:23.520
<v Speaker 9>funny because when we talked about what burnout is versus anxiety,

0:41:24.239 --> 0:41:28.800
<v Speaker 9>burnout can be cured. Well, we talked about burnout was

0:41:28.840 --> 0:41:31.719
<v Speaker 9>an option, right, like you can do things to mitigate it.

0:41:32.080 --> 0:41:35.399
<v Speaker 9>But the reality is when you have no options and

0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:38.319
<v Speaker 9>you have to do this task, especially for me, I'm

0:41:38.360 --> 0:41:39.759
<v Speaker 9>going oriented, like.

0:41:39.920 --> 0:41:41.480
<v Speaker 1>You know, I like get your things done.

0:41:41.760 --> 0:41:44.960
<v Speaker 9>So when I don't have any options, I don't see

0:41:45.360 --> 0:41:48.360
<v Speaker 9>like there's an Like there's an option, but the option

0:41:48.560 --> 0:41:50.920
<v Speaker 9>is I won't make the money that I'm making, right, So,

0:41:51.000 --> 0:41:53.160
<v Speaker 9>like you sort of got to find a happy balance.

0:41:53.160 --> 0:41:57.920
<v Speaker 9>And what ends up happening is my product My productivity

0:41:57.960 --> 0:42:01.439
<v Speaker 9>goes down. The quality of what I'm doing dramatically down

0:42:01.480 --> 0:42:04.560
<v Speaker 9>from operating at let's say, at an eighty percent level,

0:42:04.920 --> 0:42:10.320
<v Speaker 9>goes down to like thirty. And then I started missing things.

0:42:10.560 --> 0:42:13.719
<v Speaker 9>Deadline stopped slipping, email stopped slubbling. I remember at one

0:42:13.719 --> 0:42:17.839
<v Speaker 9>point I had to email people in like January February

0:42:17.880 --> 0:42:20.680
<v Speaker 9>to tell to apologize for missing emails that were coming

0:42:20.719 --> 0:42:25.680
<v Speaker 9>in November December. Yes, and I'm like, I'm sorry that

0:42:25.800 --> 0:42:27.920
<v Speaker 9>I did this. I just couldn't get to you because

0:42:27.920 --> 0:42:29.840
<v Speaker 9>I was focused on other things and I really just

0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:31.839
<v Speaker 9>got depressed, like I just couldn't do it.

0:42:31.920 --> 0:42:33.680
<v Speaker 1>You know what you said that really stuck with me, though.

0:42:33.719 --> 0:42:35.600
<v Speaker 2>You said you picked up the phone and you noticed

0:42:35.600 --> 0:42:38.000
<v Speaker 2>that people were enjoying their life, and it made you depressed.

0:42:38.239 --> 0:42:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Comparison is the thief of joy, And the minute you

0:42:42.040 --> 0:42:44.759
<v Speaker 2>start looking at the highlight video of everybody else's life,

0:42:45.080 --> 0:42:48.239
<v Speaker 2>you tricked yourself out of your own joy because I'm

0:42:48.239 --> 0:42:51.360
<v Speaker 2>pretty sure of them people on the phone.

0:42:51.360 --> 0:42:55.440
<v Speaker 1>Of course, it's probably, but they posted that.

0:42:55.680 --> 0:42:59.279
<v Speaker 9>But the thing is that I desire that and then

0:42:59.280 --> 0:43:01.520
<v Speaker 9>it was attainable for me. It's not a situation where

0:43:01.520 --> 0:43:04.040
<v Speaker 9>I'm comparing them because I can't get to that. Yeah,

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:06.000
<v Speaker 9>I know that I can. You want it, but I

0:43:06.080 --> 0:43:09.680
<v Speaker 9>am burnt out to the point where I can't get

0:43:09.680 --> 0:43:13.120
<v Speaker 9>there because I'm focused on what I'm doing. So it's

0:43:13.120 --> 0:43:15.799
<v Speaker 9>not that I'm not comparing their lives. I'm comparing where

0:43:15.800 --> 0:43:16.000
<v Speaker 9>they are.

0:43:16.080 --> 0:43:17.000
<v Speaker 1>That moment acts.

0:43:17.040 --> 0:43:19.640
<v Speaker 2>But did you see how taking your mind away from

0:43:19.680 --> 0:43:22.319
<v Speaker 2>your goal and focusing on someone else has brought you there?

0:43:23.200 --> 0:43:28.640
<v Speaker 9>It's just, it's just it. It's not directly related to it.

0:43:28.680 --> 0:43:32.160
<v Speaker 9>I'm not doing it because I'm comparing. It's literally the

0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:33.000
<v Speaker 9>season that I'm in.

0:43:33.200 --> 0:43:35.520
<v Speaker 2>It's literally I'm agreeing with you, but I'm saying, do

0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:36.600
<v Speaker 2>you see the fault in that?

0:43:36.680 --> 0:43:36.879
<v Speaker 1>Though?

0:43:37.440 --> 0:43:39.680
<v Speaker 2>What I'm saying is is you feeling depressed. Is the

0:43:39.719 --> 0:43:42.640
<v Speaker 2>symptom of you picking up your phone, not because you

0:43:42.640 --> 0:43:43.560
<v Speaker 2>were looking tom.

0:43:43.840 --> 0:43:47.239
<v Speaker 9>A symptom of the burnout. It's accelerated by comparing. So

0:43:47.320 --> 0:43:51.160
<v Speaker 9>we're on the same page. I'm burnt out, I'm tired

0:43:51.360 --> 0:43:52.799
<v Speaker 9>now I got to see everybody else.

0:43:52.920 --> 0:43:54.840
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I'm saying. My point is is to

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:57.359
<v Speaker 2>navigate burnout. When you feel like that, the worst thing

0:43:57.400 --> 0:43:59.080
<v Speaker 2>you can do is ever pick up your phone and

0:43:59.080 --> 0:44:00.000
<v Speaker 2>look at social media.

0:44:00.040 --> 0:44:03.160
<v Speaker 1>Because I'm already burnt out. I'm tired. Now I gotta

0:44:03.200 --> 0:44:04.960
<v Speaker 1>go look at this dude here who.

0:44:06.600 --> 0:44:09.920
<v Speaker 2>He's on vacation or he just booked something. And it's like, dang,

0:44:10.040 --> 0:44:12.319
<v Speaker 2>Like the value shouldn't even be focused on that. If

0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:15.080
<v Speaker 2>you're focused on your work, you'll get there. But since

0:44:15.120 --> 0:44:17.359
<v Speaker 2>you're not focused on your work because you burnt out,

0:44:17.440 --> 0:44:19.640
<v Speaker 2>you want to look at social media. Now you get

0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:22.000
<v Speaker 2>a reminder. I understand how you got that, and that

0:44:22.000 --> 0:44:24.520
<v Speaker 2>that I do the same thing. Me and Matt will

0:44:24.520 --> 0:44:27.120
<v Speaker 2>sit here right I feel burnt out, I'm let's go

0:44:27.120 --> 0:44:29.200
<v Speaker 2>watch a movie. I'll go watch a movie. Get there

0:44:29.200 --> 0:44:32.040
<v Speaker 2>and I get teary. Ey, I just want to do that. Bro, Like,

0:44:32.080 --> 0:44:33.960
<v Speaker 2>why I can't get a chance to do that yet?

0:44:34.200 --> 0:44:36.239
<v Speaker 2>And I didn't do that to I didn't watch it

0:44:36.280 --> 0:44:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to escape.

0:44:39.360 --> 0:44:41.480
<v Speaker 3>Happened so many times with us. I'm like, what's the matter.

0:44:41.560 --> 0:44:42.839
<v Speaker 3>He was just like, I just want to do that.

0:44:43.239 --> 0:44:45.719
<v Speaker 1>This be me brody watching it bro and I just

0:44:45.760 --> 0:44:54.319
<v Speaker 1>be like I could do that. I look, I can

0:44:54.440 --> 0:44:56.560
<v Speaker 1>do that. Somebody's not giving me a shot, and they

0:44:56.600 --> 0:44:58.840
<v Speaker 1>k't be like we were supposed to be just enjoying.

0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:03.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, why are you acting like that's I'm realizing now

0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:05.960
<v Speaker 2>that you said that, that is that is freaking burnout.

0:45:06.040 --> 0:45:07.600
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, you know crazy.

0:45:07.600 --> 0:45:10.560
<v Speaker 9>On the flip side, there are probably hundreds of other

0:45:10.600 --> 0:45:13.520
<v Speaker 9>people that still would want to take trade your place,

0:45:13.680 --> 0:45:17.439
<v Speaker 9>absolutely right. And my thing is I still haven't figured

0:45:17.440 --> 0:45:19.920
<v Speaker 9>out how to navigate it. I know how to fix burnout.

0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:23.319
<v Speaker 9>I need to just stop doing work. I literally need

0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:28.040
<v Speaker 9>to stop doing work, take a few days, nap, chill, relax,

0:45:28.120 --> 0:45:31.200
<v Speaker 9>get my mind off of this, and completely reset. The

0:45:31.320 --> 0:45:35.000
<v Speaker 9>problem is how do you do that when you have deadlines?

0:45:35.360 --> 0:45:35.800
<v Speaker 6>Deadlines?

0:45:35.800 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 9>And we talked about it, like thinking that you everything

0:45:38.000 --> 0:45:41.200
<v Speaker 9>is cool, filling up your plate, adding these extra projects

0:45:41.480 --> 0:45:43.640
<v Speaker 9>that you know you want to do, but then like

0:45:43.680 --> 0:45:46.479
<v Speaker 9>I committed to this, I am not going to let

0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:50.279
<v Speaker 9>people my name is on it. I'm Joshua, Like I

0:45:50.360 --> 0:45:55.320
<v Speaker 9>gotta finish this task. So I've realized, like picking opportunities

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:59.279
<v Speaker 9>make being selective, also warning people ahead of time. Yo,

0:46:00.239 --> 0:46:02.120
<v Speaker 9>I'm doing this for you as a favor. I got

0:46:02.160 --> 0:46:04.880
<v Speaker 9>things that are on the slate. There may be a

0:46:04.920 --> 0:46:07.279
<v Speaker 9>situation that if I can't do this, I will let

0:46:07.360 --> 0:46:09.480
<v Speaker 9>you know. I'll give you ample time. But I'm letting

0:46:09.480 --> 0:46:13.520
<v Speaker 9>you know now like this is secondary to my prime objective.

0:46:14.760 --> 0:46:17.520
<v Speaker 9>And I've done that towards the end of the year,

0:46:17.640 --> 0:46:20.120
<v Speaker 9>letting people know like hey, like I'm adding this thing

0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:20.400
<v Speaker 9>for you.

0:46:21.000 --> 0:46:23.200
<v Speaker 8>But I think it goes to what Deva said before,

0:46:23.280 --> 0:46:26.600
<v Speaker 8>like if you reduce what you're doing or pull back

0:46:26.600 --> 0:46:28.920
<v Speaker 8>a little bit, don't even get to the point of

0:46:29.520 --> 0:46:32.240
<v Speaker 8>burnout money. I feel max, I get that.

0:46:33.080 --> 0:46:37.880
<v Speaker 7>Thousand percent money you can provide when you overloaded.

0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:40.080
<v Speaker 6>And facts that is true.

0:46:41.280 --> 0:46:43.719
<v Speaker 8>Balance how much I'm gonna put on my plate so

0:46:43.760 --> 0:46:44.600
<v Speaker 8>I can still carry it.

0:46:45.040 --> 0:46:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's that's a real nigga conversation.

0:46:47.440 --> 0:46:49.960
<v Speaker 2>Don't we as as men be having that conversation like, yeah,

0:46:50.000 --> 0:46:52.000
<v Speaker 2>I feel you gotta make money, but dude, you can

0:46:52.040 --> 0:46:52.920
<v Speaker 2>make money right now.

0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:54.480
<v Speaker 1>We had this conversation with Jay.

0:46:54.760 --> 0:46:56.640
<v Speaker 9>You know what I've realized over the years and what

0:46:57.160 --> 0:47:01.600
<v Speaker 9>has benefit me is delegating that is yes, it is.

0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:05.480
<v Speaker 9>It is prime. I've had an assistant, I've had an assistant.

0:47:05.480 --> 0:47:07.880
<v Speaker 9>Three times in my career where I've had like personal

0:47:07.920 --> 0:47:10.960
<v Speaker 9>assistance where they have done tasks for me that I

0:47:11.000 --> 0:47:15.520
<v Speaker 9>can't do. You know what I'm most burnt out. It's

0:47:15.520 --> 0:47:17.919
<v Speaker 9>when I don't have the assistant. That's when I'm most

0:47:17.920 --> 0:47:19.759
<v Speaker 9>burnt out because I don't have people to take the

0:47:19.800 --> 0:47:20.480
<v Speaker 9>extra task.

0:47:20.560 --> 0:47:22.240
<v Speaker 6>And you know, delegate.

0:47:21.920 --> 0:47:26.680
<v Speaker 3>Delegated, that's my thing be to delegate has seen.

0:47:27.400 --> 0:47:29.279
<v Speaker 1>Matt was outside. We gotta finish working out.

0:47:29.800 --> 0:47:33.359
<v Speaker 2>Jay had hurt his leg, right, so me and Matt

0:47:33.480 --> 0:47:35.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, dude, do you ever rests like bro, I

0:47:35.960 --> 0:47:37.759
<v Speaker 2>mean the gym this many hours, I'm doing this and

0:47:37.800 --> 0:47:40.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing that. And I said, now, look, now you

0:47:40.360 --> 0:47:41.840
<v Speaker 2>can't go to the gym for a week.

0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:45.040
<v Speaker 1>He was like, so.

0:47:45.040 --> 0:47:47.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so you got an extra day in and now

0:47:47.840 --> 0:47:50.560
<v Speaker 2>you miss a week. It's the same thing, right, I

0:47:50.560 --> 0:47:52.719
<v Speaker 2>got to make this money, but now you lose the

0:47:52.719 --> 0:47:54.239
<v Speaker 2>money because since he can't go to the gym, he

0:47:54.280 --> 0:47:56.879
<v Speaker 2>can't take clients. And I'm like, you missed a week

0:47:56.920 --> 0:47:58.479
<v Speaker 2>worth of work and he was just like, I ain't

0:47:58.719 --> 0:48:01.480
<v Speaker 2>see that. You says up to those two when people

0:48:01.520 --> 0:48:04.279
<v Speaker 2>don't have a plan and they're not thinking about longevity

0:48:04.280 --> 0:48:07.439
<v Speaker 2>and they only think about instant gratification. That's when mistakes happen.

0:48:07.960 --> 0:48:10.680
<v Speaker 2>That's so someone burnout happened. Seriously, it's like, I got

0:48:10.680 --> 0:48:12.399
<v Speaker 2>to get this done now and before you know it.

0:48:12.640 --> 0:48:15.080
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I've been there so many times. I've been

0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:17.560
<v Speaker 2>there so many times. It's like hearing other people's stories

0:48:17.600 --> 0:48:20.360
<v Speaker 2>really make me realize, Like, shit, I've done the same thing, Josh.

0:48:20.600 --> 0:48:22.000
<v Speaker 2>You know how many times I said like, oh, yeah,

0:48:22.000 --> 0:48:25.640
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna put seven podcasts on the week, and then

0:48:25.680 --> 0:48:28.239
<v Speaker 2>at the end of that week, I be fucked up

0:48:28.280 --> 0:48:28.839
<v Speaker 2>in here and.

0:48:28.800 --> 0:48:32.480
<v Speaker 4>The recovery time is longer, like we be needing like

0:48:32.880 --> 0:48:33.600
<v Speaker 4>three days.

0:48:35.600 --> 0:48:37.279
<v Speaker 3>You want to do this back on track.

0:48:37.960 --> 0:48:39.719
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, damn, Like I should have just took

0:48:39.719 --> 0:48:41.920
<v Speaker 2>the minute. And I mean we did kind of do

0:48:42.000 --> 0:48:44.919
<v Speaker 2>that a little bit like the end of last year.

0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:47.799
<v Speaker 3>Oh we knew by then we were just months off.

0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:49.719
<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't I didn't do nothing. I didn't take

0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:51.920
<v Speaker 2>no gigs. I travel with her wherever she was going,

0:48:52.400 --> 0:48:54.920
<v Speaker 2>and it felt good. I ain't gonna lie now. I

0:48:54.920 --> 0:48:56.839
<v Speaker 2>didn't make as much money in the last five months

0:48:56.880 --> 0:48:59.439
<v Speaker 2>as I would have liked to make, but I'm also

0:48:59.600 --> 0:48:59.959
<v Speaker 2>not starting.

0:49:00.080 --> 0:49:00.200
<v Speaker 5>Man.

0:49:01.120 --> 0:49:02.560
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying like, at some point you

0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:04.400
<v Speaker 2>got to decide you want to make the money or

0:49:04.400 --> 0:49:07.719
<v Speaker 2>you want to live, and then gigs, gigs come here

0:49:08.480 --> 0:49:10.880
<v Speaker 2>when they miss you a little bit, that's when they come.

0:49:11.040 --> 0:49:16.400
<v Speaker 3>Did y'all miss us a little bit? Miss I know

0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:16.800
<v Speaker 3>you missed it?

0:49:19.320 --> 0:49:21.200
<v Speaker 4>All right, y'all, I guess let's go pay some bills

0:49:21.200 --> 0:49:23.200
<v Speaker 4>and we're going to come back into listening letters. So

0:49:23.280 --> 0:49:39.280
<v Speaker 4>stick around, all right, y'all, we're back with listening letters.

0:49:39.880 --> 0:49:42.680
<v Speaker 4>Let's just jump right in, all right. I love listening

0:49:42.719 --> 0:49:45.120
<v Speaker 4>to y'all and appreciate the growth over the years.

0:49:45.480 --> 0:49:45.960
<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

0:49:46.080 --> 0:49:48.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm seeing a wonderful guy who's been a real gentleman

0:49:48.880 --> 0:49:52.440
<v Speaker 4>and patient with me. He was just he was just

0:49:52.560 --> 0:49:55.200
<v Speaker 4>some months out of a serious, long term relationship when

0:49:55.200 --> 0:49:58.640
<v Speaker 4>we met. He didn't get intimate until over a year

0:49:58.680 --> 0:50:02.080
<v Speaker 4>after we met. I'm forty plus, I was a virgin

0:50:02.120 --> 0:50:06.680
<v Speaker 4>when we met, so he's my first. Well, congratulations, you

0:50:06.760 --> 0:50:07.440
<v Speaker 4>pop the cork.

0:50:07.480 --> 0:50:07.880
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

0:50:08.880 --> 0:50:11.640
<v Speaker 4>The thing is, I'm ready to be working towards a relationship,

0:50:11.680 --> 0:50:14.560
<v Speaker 4>but he's taking his time. Initially, it was fine because

0:50:14.880 --> 0:50:17.080
<v Speaker 4>I've had to learn to slow down and just enjoy

0:50:17.160 --> 0:50:20.920
<v Speaker 4>being with someone I like. I used to be anxious

0:50:20.960 --> 0:50:24.279
<v Speaker 4>in relationships, but as I've worked on myself through therapy, etc.

0:50:24.680 --> 0:50:24.879
<v Speaker 1>Etc.

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:28.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm more secure now. And though I'm not rushing, I'm

0:50:29.000 --> 0:50:32.279
<v Speaker 4>also not willing to be single for another year. We

0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:34.120
<v Speaker 4>like each other a lot, but I'm scared that I

0:50:34.200 --> 0:50:37.520
<v Speaker 4>might end up five years later in the same status.

0:50:38.320 --> 0:50:40.759
<v Speaker 4>We're both not seeing anyone at the moment, but he

0:50:40.840 --> 0:50:43.480
<v Speaker 4>isn't ready to be exclusive. I'm open to meeting other

0:50:43.520 --> 0:50:47.240
<v Speaker 4>people and have tried, but nothing. No one has happened yet.

0:50:47.400 --> 0:50:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Would appreciate some advice as I navigate this. All right,

0:50:52.000 --> 0:50:55.880
<v Speaker 4>So forty plus virgin when you met now he's your first.

0:50:56.480 --> 0:50:58.440
<v Speaker 4>So is it that you're going for the gusto now?

0:50:58.480 --> 0:51:00.759
<v Speaker 4>Because it's like, listen, I just I just gave it

0:51:00.840 --> 0:51:02.520
<v Speaker 4>up after forty plus years, Like.

0:51:02.680 --> 0:51:04.760
<v Speaker 1>Well, Tom, this is it? Tim is ticket?

0:51:04.840 --> 0:51:05.279
<v Speaker 3>This is it?

0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:05.480
<v Speaker 7>Like?

0:51:05.520 --> 0:51:07.560
<v Speaker 4>If we be honest, and if he's coming a couple

0:51:07.600 --> 0:51:10.359
<v Speaker 4>months out of a serious long term relationship, then he's

0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:14.160
<v Speaker 4>probably not wanting to get back into another potentially serious

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:17.719
<v Speaker 4>long term relationship. Was this a conversation that we had

0:51:18.719 --> 0:51:22.160
<v Speaker 4>before y'all were intimate? Does he want to be in

0:51:22.200 --> 0:51:25.160
<v Speaker 4>another long term, serious relationship? Like I'm curious to know

0:51:25.160 --> 0:51:27.279
<v Speaker 4>if that conversation was had, because if you both were

0:51:27.280 --> 0:51:32.239
<v Speaker 4>going into it with different viewpoints, different intentions, then that

0:51:32.280 --> 0:51:33.520
<v Speaker 4>could potentially be a problem.

0:51:34.200 --> 0:51:37.759
<v Speaker 1>What you think, babe, I understand where she's coming from.

0:51:37.800 --> 0:51:40.759
<v Speaker 2>She's forty plus and she's probably like, Yo, I gave

0:51:40.800 --> 0:51:43.600
<v Speaker 2>this man my body. If you've waited that long and

0:51:43.640 --> 0:51:45.440
<v Speaker 2>you finally give this man your bodies, like, I want

0:51:45.440 --> 0:51:47.440
<v Speaker 2>to see what's next. I understand that the only problem

0:51:47.480 --> 0:51:49.640
<v Speaker 2>with that is that's not how life works. Because you're

0:51:49.680 --> 0:51:52.000
<v Speaker 2>ready don't mean that you get to rush somebody. And

0:51:52.080 --> 0:51:55.480
<v Speaker 2>so often we hear from people in relationships one is

0:51:55.520 --> 0:51:57.799
<v Speaker 2>ready to do something and one is not right. And

0:51:57.880 --> 0:52:01.520
<v Speaker 2>at first I thought it was just oh yeah, no, no, no.

0:52:01.600 --> 0:52:03.239
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was we're going to get a bunch

0:52:03.239 --> 0:52:04.839
<v Speaker 2>of women who were just like I'm ready, I'm ready,

0:52:04.840 --> 0:52:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm ready to men like I'm not ready.

0:52:06.160 --> 0:52:08.560
<v Speaker 1>But we're seen over the past couple of years they'd

0:52:08.560 --> 0:52:08.879
<v Speaker 1>be dudes.

0:52:08.920 --> 0:52:10.160
<v Speaker 2>They'd be like, yeah, I'm ready for her and she

0:52:10.600 --> 0:52:14.080
<v Speaker 2>So I'm starting to realize that, yo, people want things

0:52:14.120 --> 0:52:17.680
<v Speaker 2>on their own time, right, Asking someone else for advice

0:52:17.719 --> 0:52:19.840
<v Speaker 2>on how you should navigate that person is probably the

0:52:19.880 --> 0:52:23.120
<v Speaker 2>wrong thing. Speak to that person directly and say, hey,

0:52:23.360 --> 0:52:25.359
<v Speaker 2>this is what I'm looking towards, this is what I'm

0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:28.000
<v Speaker 2>looking forward to, this is what I think my timeline

0:52:28.320 --> 0:52:30.239
<v Speaker 2>is going to be. How does that work with you?

0:52:30.840 --> 0:52:34.120
<v Speaker 2>And then when they tell you listen to them. Don't

0:52:34.239 --> 0:52:36.520
<v Speaker 2>listen to them with the intent to change their mind

0:52:36.560 --> 0:52:37.520
<v Speaker 2>to get on your plan.

0:52:38.080 --> 0:52:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Listen to them and then listen to them.

0:52:40.000 --> 0:52:42.600
<v Speaker 2>If he says, well, I've been in a relationship for

0:52:42.640 --> 0:52:46.479
<v Speaker 2>a long time, I'm not really you already know he's

0:52:46.520 --> 0:52:49.160
<v Speaker 2>not looking to get into a relationship, and if you are,

0:52:50.000 --> 0:52:52.319
<v Speaker 2>now it's time to start making some decisions about what

0:52:52.440 --> 0:52:55.160
<v Speaker 2>you want for yourself. This is why when people ask

0:52:55.200 --> 0:52:56.920
<v Speaker 2>me and send me dms yo, my man or my

0:52:57.000 --> 0:52:58.879
<v Speaker 2>girl is doing this what you think I'm like? Don't

0:52:58.920 --> 0:53:02.840
<v Speaker 2>ask me, ask yourself and ask that person. Once you

0:53:02.880 --> 0:53:05.799
<v Speaker 2>get the information, use discernment to choose yse. There's no

0:53:05.840 --> 0:53:08.680
<v Speaker 2>advice we can give you other than speak to him directly.

0:53:08.800 --> 0:53:10.600
<v Speaker 4>When I heard you say, I thought I thought you

0:53:10.640 --> 0:53:13.000
<v Speaker 4>were going to say. When people say oh, well, I thought, well,

0:53:13.040 --> 0:53:15.200
<v Speaker 4>I thought, because to me, the I thoughts become the

0:53:15.280 --> 0:53:17.840
<v Speaker 4>thief of clarity, like you thought. But was that what

0:53:17.920 --> 0:53:21.160
<v Speaker 4>the person said, right? So to piggyback off of what

0:53:21.200 --> 0:53:23.840
<v Speaker 4>you said. Yeah, the conversation, if it hasn't been had already,

0:53:23.880 --> 0:53:25.719
<v Speaker 4>I think is something that needs to be had, or

0:53:25.719 --> 0:53:28.240
<v Speaker 4>maybe should have been had prior to you becoming intimate,

0:53:28.320 --> 0:53:32.360
<v Speaker 4>because I can imagine how after waiting so many years

0:53:32.360 --> 0:53:35.560
<v Speaker 4>to finally then you know, share that with someone you

0:53:35.640 --> 0:53:37.440
<v Speaker 4>want to now take this seriously and know where this

0:53:37.480 --> 0:53:37.960
<v Speaker 4>is going to go.

0:53:38.239 --> 0:53:40.239
<v Speaker 2>What you said, I think is the point. What you

0:53:40.360 --> 0:53:44.480
<v Speaker 2>just said, though, don't tell somebody what you thought. If

0:53:44.480 --> 0:53:46.879
<v Speaker 2>they haven't told you what they want, or if they

0:53:46.920 --> 0:53:49.680
<v Speaker 2>have told you, don't tell them what you thought they

0:53:49.719 --> 0:53:50.120
<v Speaker 2>told you.

0:53:50.719 --> 0:53:51.439
<v Speaker 1>You see what I'm saying.

0:53:51.800 --> 0:53:53.960
<v Speaker 2>So it's like, and if you haven't had the conversation

0:53:54.120 --> 0:53:56.239
<v Speaker 2>and they haven't told you, don't say you thought. That

0:53:56.400 --> 0:53:59.239
<v Speaker 2>means you created a narrative in your mind, your own mind,

0:53:59.239 --> 0:54:01.719
<v Speaker 2>which is a mistake. So you shouldn't be thinking. If

0:54:01.719 --> 0:54:04.560
<v Speaker 2>you have somebody, ask them when they tell you listen.

0:54:04.600 --> 0:54:05.239
<v Speaker 1>So I like that point.

0:54:05.280 --> 0:54:07.759
<v Speaker 4>I love that anybody else got two cents for our

0:54:07.800 --> 0:54:08.640
<v Speaker 4>listening letter today?

0:54:08.840 --> 0:54:11.520
<v Speaker 1>I do. I was hoping I was hoping you to

0:54:11.560 --> 0:54:16.080
<v Speaker 1>ask about to let this nigga have it. Watch.

0:54:16.400 --> 0:54:19.880
<v Speaker 5>No, no, no, I'm just like, if you are forty plus,

0:54:19.920 --> 0:54:22.319
<v Speaker 5>you are a virgin, why you let this man take

0:54:22.360 --> 0:54:25.000
<v Speaker 5>your virginity? If you wait that long, you might as

0:54:25.000 --> 0:54:26.120
<v Speaker 5>well wait till you get the ring?

0:54:26.719 --> 0:54:30.000
<v Speaker 2>You know just what you want. You just said life

0:54:30.120 --> 0:54:32.000
<v Speaker 2>is short, you gotta have joy.

0:54:32.520 --> 0:54:37.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, speak the vibrator is just as good, if

0:54:37.640 --> 0:54:38.200
<v Speaker 5>not better.

0:54:38.360 --> 0:54:40.520
<v Speaker 1>It's not you know what I'm saying. It's really not.

0:54:40.760 --> 0:54:42.600
<v Speaker 1>It's not. It's not.

0:54:43.360 --> 0:54:51.359
<v Speaker 5>She didn't know, so she should have just waited till

0:54:51.400 --> 0:54:54.160
<v Speaker 5>she got the ring. And I say, you know, you

0:54:54.280 --> 0:54:58.400
<v Speaker 5>fucking now you might as well, you know, busted wide open?

0:54:58.520 --> 0:55:01.719
<v Speaker 1>Then don't get you another I know for real.

0:55:03.320 --> 0:55:05.160
<v Speaker 2>I do feel you though, because I am wondering though,

0:55:05.160 --> 0:55:07.680
<v Speaker 2>if you forty plus, why wait to give it up now?

0:55:07.680 --> 0:55:09.360
<v Speaker 1>If you're not married? That is a good question.

0:55:10.440 --> 0:55:13.239
<v Speaker 4>Maybe yeah, maybe she's like, he is the one, but

0:55:13.280 --> 0:55:14.560
<v Speaker 4>does he know he is the one.

0:55:14.920 --> 0:55:18.280
<v Speaker 1>I think she wants to be the one. I agree.

0:55:18.440 --> 0:55:22.560
<v Speaker 1>She was like, yolo, I ain't getting no younger.

0:55:22.640 --> 0:55:25.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree, and not for nothing. My perspective has

0:55:25.920 --> 0:55:28.520
<v Speaker 2>changed after we had that conversation. You are forty plus?

0:55:28.760 --> 0:55:29.799
<v Speaker 2>What am I waiting for?

0:55:30.160 --> 0:55:30.359
<v Speaker 5>Right?

0:55:30.600 --> 0:55:31.120
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying?

0:55:31.280 --> 0:55:33.880
<v Speaker 3>Is it a badge? Of honor still to like be

0:55:33.920 --> 0:55:35.319
<v Speaker 3>a virgin at that age. I don't know.

0:55:35.560 --> 0:55:38.640
<v Speaker 2>I think I think virtue has changed for men and

0:55:38.680 --> 0:55:41.760
<v Speaker 2>women back in the day, Like you know the Stone ages.

0:55:41.760 --> 0:55:43.440
<v Speaker 2>I need me a wife that's a virgin that I

0:55:43.440 --> 0:55:46.480
<v Speaker 2>can you know, consecrate this marriage and claim it's my own.

0:55:46.560 --> 0:55:50.759
<v Speaker 2>It's like nobody he talks like that, consecrate con either way.

0:55:50.800 --> 0:55:56.279
<v Speaker 9>I know I didn't do it, brave heart.

0:55:58.200 --> 0:56:01.720
<v Speaker 3>It was test driving before we need the fact period.

0:56:02.040 --> 0:56:04.440
<v Speaker 2>But I do think that's not it's not the same. Like,

0:56:04.480 --> 0:56:05.799
<v Speaker 2>no one, no one is going to be like, are

0:56:05.800 --> 0:56:09.279
<v Speaker 2>you a vision? No, Like that's it's twenty twenty five.

0:56:09.760 --> 0:56:11.960
<v Speaker 2>So the virtue of being a virgin no more, no

0:56:12.000 --> 0:56:16.319
<v Speaker 2>longer exists like it did in medieval times when you

0:56:16.360 --> 0:56:18.399
<v Speaker 2>had the night a sword and you know what I'm saying.

0:56:18.520 --> 0:56:21.239
<v Speaker 2>So this may just be me because we live in

0:56:21.239 --> 0:56:23.319
<v Speaker 2>a different world. But I just don't care.

0:56:23.600 --> 0:56:26.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I know, I have no

0:56:26.160 --> 0:56:29.239
<v Speaker 1>apple about virginity's no more. You meet a woman, she's

0:56:29.239 --> 0:56:31.799
<v Speaker 1>not a virgin. You probably not a virgin, ey the nigga.

0:56:31.880 --> 0:56:36.080
<v Speaker 5>So they also say women's sexuality peaks in their forties,

0:56:37.000 --> 0:56:39.919
<v Speaker 5>and so there's a lot of forty plus yr old

0:56:39.920 --> 0:56:42.920
<v Speaker 5>hot girls out here that maybe their kids are finally

0:56:42.960 --> 0:56:45.680
<v Speaker 5>out the house or true going through their first divorce.

0:56:45.760 --> 0:56:49.040
<v Speaker 5>They out at the clubs, they out at the jazz lounges.

0:56:49.120 --> 0:56:53.800
<v Speaker 3>They're mingling, they're on hinge yes, baby, they're friends.

0:56:53.840 --> 0:56:55.120
<v Speaker 1>That's out here going.

0:56:56.520 --> 0:56:58.719
<v Speaker 4>Because there's no judgment at forty forties, you're like whatever,

0:56:58.719 --> 0:57:01.719
<v Speaker 4>it's this, like, go do you congratulations?

0:57:02.120 --> 0:57:04.800
<v Speaker 1>Where you want to hear some crazy women here? Something crazy?

0:57:05.520 --> 0:57:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Those women be the women that the young women be

0:57:07.680 --> 0:57:11.200
<v Speaker 2>pissed about, because the young dudes who don't got nothing

0:57:11.360 --> 0:57:15.160
<v Speaker 2>be sleeping with the cougars, and the younger women be

0:57:15.360 --> 0:57:17.640
<v Speaker 2>like and be like, oh, you're out there sucking these cougars,

0:57:17.640 --> 0:57:19.800
<v Speaker 2>and now this this is why niggas won't settle down.

0:57:20.080 --> 0:57:21.920
<v Speaker 1>And then those women be mad at men.

0:57:22.240 --> 0:57:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, you realistically should be mad at the forty year

0:57:24.360 --> 0:57:26.600
<v Speaker 2>old virgin that just decided she would to bust open,

0:57:26.720 --> 0:57:31.720
<v Speaker 2>because you know what, Look who's right back there shaking

0:57:31.720 --> 0:57:33.640
<v Speaker 2>his head because he in his twenties.

0:57:33.240 --> 0:57:35.920
<v Speaker 3>And he no, I'm not leave him alone.

0:57:38.160 --> 0:57:39.560
<v Speaker 1>The old women be busting it.

0:57:39.600 --> 0:57:41.240
<v Speaker 2>And not only do they be busting it, they be

0:57:41.280 --> 0:57:44.360
<v Speaker 2>spinning that bread too. So imagine you are twenty year

0:57:44.400 --> 0:57:45.400
<v Speaker 2>old and the thing is.

0:57:45.400 --> 0:57:48.200
<v Speaker 4>How rolls later in the Four Seasons Hotel, No, it

0:57:48.240 --> 0:57:49.479
<v Speaker 4>would a forty something year old woman.

0:57:49.880 --> 0:57:51.640
<v Speaker 3>If I was single, I too.

0:57:51.760 --> 0:57:55.040
<v Speaker 1>If you were single, what you yourself?

0:57:57.720 --> 0:57:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I thought we was never not going to be together

0:58:00.040 --> 0:58:03.640
<v Speaker 2>sudden if she was single single, I'll be You want

0:58:03.640 --> 0:58:04.240
<v Speaker 2>me to sit there for?

0:58:04.280 --> 0:58:08.880
<v Speaker 3>That was ever after we said that we could speak hypothetically.

0:58:09.320 --> 0:58:09.840
<v Speaker 1>No, we didn't.

0:58:09.920 --> 0:58:12.840
<v Speaker 2>When did we say that?

0:58:13.400 --> 0:58:19.280
<v Speaker 4>Past episode the hypop my forty year old friends, my

0:58:19.360 --> 0:58:20.400
<v Speaker 4>forty year old friends.

0:58:21.360 --> 0:58:23.360
<v Speaker 3>As I'm trying to talk my I'm trying to talk

0:58:23.400 --> 0:58:24.360
<v Speaker 3>my cars in my socks.

0:58:26.800 --> 0:58:32.760
<v Speaker 9>You can't get your compression compression exactly what it is.

0:58:33.520 --> 0:58:35.880
<v Speaker 3>I mean, he's not quite impression, but you know. But no,

0:58:36.480 --> 0:58:37.120
<v Speaker 3>but I get it.

0:58:37.240 --> 0:58:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I get it.

0:58:37.920 --> 0:58:39.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm saying I get it. Girls, I get that, and

0:58:40.240 --> 0:58:41.720
<v Speaker 3>I am getting got it.

0:58:42.000 --> 0:58:44.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't see nothing wrong with that. Don't you have

0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:45.439
<v Speaker 1>a good time?

0:58:45.480 --> 0:58:48.200
<v Speaker 3>It's not about have a good at a time? Life

0:58:48.280 --> 0:58:48.680
<v Speaker 3>is sure.

0:58:48.840 --> 0:58:52.280
<v Speaker 5>She has been fucking this whole time. Imagine how great

0:58:52.360 --> 0:58:54.760
<v Speaker 5>the rest of her life is. She's been focused on

0:58:54.800 --> 0:58:59.080
<v Speaker 5>her career. Her apartment is clean as hell. You know,

0:58:59.200 --> 0:59:02.680
<v Speaker 5>she got eight hundred credit score as audio version.

0:59:02.720 --> 0:59:03.880
<v Speaker 1>You know she disciplined.

0:59:04.120 --> 0:59:07.640
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely, you probably like and all that.

0:59:08.400 --> 0:59:09.240
<v Speaker 1>A twenty year old.

0:59:12.440 --> 0:59:15.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he gonna come in there strapping, ain't got nothing

0:59:15.760 --> 0:59:17.800
<v Speaker 2>to do but sit on her couch and bless her

0:59:17.840 --> 0:59:19.520
<v Speaker 2>every time she come in the house, and she ain't

0:59:19.520 --> 0:59:21.360
<v Speaker 2>gonna know what to do with her life.

0:59:21.880 --> 0:59:22.640
<v Speaker 1>That's what's gonna happen.

0:59:22.680 --> 0:59:25.800
<v Speaker 4>So maybe you need to wait for mister real gentleman

0:59:25.880 --> 0:59:29.120
<v Speaker 4>who's been patient with you, says the options are gonna

0:59:29.120 --> 0:59:29.640
<v Speaker 4>get in.

0:59:30.280 --> 0:59:34.200
<v Speaker 2>Get in, bro seriously, yo, the young girls were doing

0:59:34.200 --> 0:59:35.840
<v Speaker 2>it for a minute. I'm gonna find me a young

0:59:36.040 --> 0:59:40.360
<v Speaker 2>old dude who never had money now now got money, money,

0:59:41.200 --> 0:59:42.800
<v Speaker 2>and I'm gonna let him splurge on me, take me

0:59:42.840 --> 0:59:45.240
<v Speaker 2>on some yachts, not gonna marry him, might not even

0:59:45.240 --> 0:59:47.160
<v Speaker 2>sleep with them, because a lot of these dudes be suckers.

0:59:47.280 --> 0:59:49.000
<v Speaker 2>I'll be seeing a lot of dudes that be getting

0:59:49.000 --> 0:59:51.120
<v Speaker 2>god like you spent how much money you're shorty, and

0:59:51.200 --> 0:59:52.400
<v Speaker 2>you not even smash.

0:59:52.160 --> 0:59:54.240
<v Speaker 8>It so she could smile at you, and then she'd

0:59:54.280 --> 0:59:55.320
<v Speaker 8>be with somebody else.

0:59:55.920 --> 0:59:58.840
<v Speaker 2>This happening in the old heads. That's why I'm happy

0:59:58.880 --> 1:00:02.080
<v Speaker 2>I got married. Nobody bamboozing me but me. I spend

1:00:02.120 --> 1:00:03.640
<v Speaker 2>this money, I'm getting smash.

1:00:03.640 --> 1:00:04.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm smash.

1:00:04.360 --> 1:00:07.240
<v Speaker 3>Period. That's a fact that your wife.

1:00:07.360 --> 1:00:08.480
<v Speaker 1>You heard that, Matt.

1:00:08.760 --> 1:00:09.760
<v Speaker 3>That's a fact.

1:00:11.000 --> 1:00:11.480
<v Speaker 1>What it is.

1:00:12.000 --> 1:00:13.720
<v Speaker 3>And everything is fine over here.

1:00:14.200 --> 1:00:16.080
<v Speaker 1>But she's like, I think for some advice, I ain't

1:00:16.080 --> 1:00:17.000
<v Speaker 1>telling me to be a whole.

1:00:18.640 --> 1:00:21.600
<v Speaker 3>It went far left for you, for far left, you know.

1:00:21.680 --> 1:00:23.440
<v Speaker 1>But when we got a lot of triple do got

1:00:23.480 --> 1:00:24.040
<v Speaker 1>some points though.

1:00:24.280 --> 1:00:27.040
<v Speaker 2>We waited this long and you let it go and

1:00:27.080 --> 1:00:28.760
<v Speaker 2>now he's not ready what you're supposed to do. Now

1:00:28.800 --> 1:00:30.840
<v Speaker 2>you can't put it back in the box. You can't

1:00:30.840 --> 1:00:34.840
<v Speaker 2>put the box in your box. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah,

1:00:36.440 --> 1:00:37.240
<v Speaker 2>don't listen to us.

1:00:37.280 --> 1:00:38.720
<v Speaker 1>Don't listen.

1:00:38.800 --> 1:00:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Listen stay disciplined your husband, because that's what you want.

1:00:41.920 --> 1:00:43.600
<v Speaker 1>Don't listen to us. We wow right now?

1:00:43.800 --> 1:00:46.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, all right, we love you, Thank you so much.

1:00:46.080 --> 1:00:49.240
<v Speaker 4>We appreciate you being sticking around with us for the years. Okay,

1:00:49.640 --> 1:00:51.280
<v Speaker 4>if you want to be featured as a listener letter,

1:00:51.320 --> 1:00:54.640
<v Speaker 4>be sure to email us at the Elis Advice at

1:00:54.640 --> 1:00:55.800
<v Speaker 4>gmail dot com.

1:00:55.840 --> 1:00:59.040
<v Speaker 2>That is th H E E L L I S

1:00:59.080 --> 1:01:03.919
<v Speaker 2>A d V I see eat at gmail dot com.

1:01:04.080 --> 1:01:07.480
<v Speaker 4>So time for moment of truth. We're talking about navigating

1:01:07.680 --> 1:01:11.440
<v Speaker 4>burnouts and all things associated. You were excited about your

1:01:11.440 --> 1:01:12.840
<v Speaker 4>moment of truth, So do you want to lead us

1:01:13.320 --> 1:01:14.400
<v Speaker 4>into that segment?

1:01:14.560 --> 1:01:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Yes? Yes.

1:01:15.440 --> 1:01:17.200
<v Speaker 2>The very first thing I want to say shout out

1:01:17.240 --> 1:01:21.040
<v Speaker 2>to Josh, thank you for making us talk about the

1:01:21.120 --> 1:01:26.280
<v Speaker 2>difference between burnout and anxiety. First of all, shout out

1:01:26.280 --> 1:01:28.760
<v Speaker 2>to Trouble for making us talk about the difference between

1:01:29.120 --> 1:01:32.200
<v Speaker 2>burnout and anxiety. But Josh, thank you for pointing out

1:01:32.200 --> 1:01:36.440
<v Speaker 2>the fact that sometimes you get burnt out and then

1:01:36.560 --> 1:01:39.040
<v Speaker 2>you want an escape, and your escape could lead to

1:01:39.080 --> 1:01:39.760
<v Speaker 2>more burnout.

1:01:40.520 --> 1:01:42.360
<v Speaker 1>When you said that, I was like, Hey, that.

1:01:42.400 --> 1:01:44.960
<v Speaker 2>The fucking truth because I've done that so many times,

1:01:45.320 --> 1:01:48.720
<v Speaker 2>and in order to navigate burnout, my moment of truth

1:01:48.800 --> 1:01:52.200
<v Speaker 2>is stay focused on the task until it's completed, and

1:01:52.240 --> 1:01:55.360
<v Speaker 2>then when the task is completed, don't rush to another task.

1:01:56.120 --> 1:01:58.400
<v Speaker 2>Sit in it for a minute, yeah, and just enjoy

1:01:58.440 --> 1:02:00.520
<v Speaker 2>the fact that you completed the task. That's how you

1:02:00.800 --> 1:02:02.800
<v Speaker 2>and my moment of truth is to avoid burnout.

1:02:03.080 --> 1:02:03.600
<v Speaker 3>I love that.

1:02:04.240 --> 1:02:07.400
<v Speaker 4>I think mine has to do more with taking care

1:02:07.480 --> 1:02:11.360
<v Speaker 4>of self because I realized how sensitive. And I don't

1:02:11.360 --> 1:02:13.800
<v Speaker 4>know if it's like a forty something thing now or what,

1:02:13.840 --> 1:02:17.880
<v Speaker 4>but I feel like my body is super sensitive to stress,

1:02:18.120 --> 1:02:20.800
<v Speaker 4>lack of sleep, not drinking of water, like not taking

1:02:20.840 --> 1:02:24.200
<v Speaker 4>time for myself, and it manifests itself in different things,

1:02:24.240 --> 1:02:26.640
<v Speaker 4>like the other day, I was saying, damn, I don't

1:02:26.640 --> 1:02:29.520
<v Speaker 4>feel right. This was like two or three days ago,

1:02:30.560 --> 1:02:33.440
<v Speaker 4>just came off of filming. So that was one kind

1:02:33.480 --> 1:02:35.920
<v Speaker 4>of decompression that I was trying to do, right, just

1:02:35.960 --> 1:02:38.880
<v Speaker 4>trying to reacclimate with life and the kids and Deval.

1:02:39.000 --> 1:02:40.840
<v Speaker 4>And Deval was like, I know you're gonna need a

1:02:40.840 --> 1:02:42.360
<v Speaker 4>couple of days. Take a couple of days, and.

1:02:42.400 --> 1:02:45.200
<v Speaker 2>Of course this is important and scary, so really like

1:02:45.240 --> 1:02:45.840
<v Speaker 2>this important.

1:02:45.960 --> 1:02:49.400
<v Speaker 4>So then there's that component of it being just like

1:02:49.480 --> 1:02:50.960
<v Speaker 4>lack of sleep out of my regimen.

1:02:51.040 --> 1:02:52.240
<v Speaker 3>I wasn't working out for two weeks.

1:02:52.320 --> 1:02:53.840
<v Speaker 4>I was eating maybe two meals a day, so I

1:02:53.880 --> 1:02:56.000
<v Speaker 4>really was not taking care of myself while I was working.

1:02:57.520 --> 1:02:59.760
<v Speaker 4>And then of course on flow the minute I rat

1:03:00.080 --> 1:03:01.720
<v Speaker 4>to come tap dancing on my head. You know, she

1:03:01.800 --> 1:03:04.160
<v Speaker 4>rains on every parade, right, so that's happening. At the

1:03:04.160 --> 1:03:07.160
<v Speaker 4>same time, she's a little bitch, she a little bit,

1:03:07.640 --> 1:03:10.680
<v Speaker 4>but so that was happening also. And I remember saying

1:03:10.720 --> 1:03:14.920
<v Speaker 4>that day, I don't know what's wrong. But something is wrong.

1:03:15.920 --> 1:03:17.479
<v Speaker 4>And I kept saying, I don't feel right, something doesn't

1:03:17.480 --> 1:03:19.680
<v Speaker 4>feel right, and I thought maybe it was a bit

1:03:19.720 --> 1:03:23.680
<v Speaker 4>of anxiety. I said, maybe I'm going through like withdrawals

1:03:23.720 --> 1:03:25.960
<v Speaker 4>from filming because I was having such a good time.

1:03:26.040 --> 1:03:27.720
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, am I now in a city of depression

1:03:27.760 --> 1:03:29.680
<v Speaker 3>because I enjoyed working? Like what is happening?

1:03:30.720 --> 1:03:33.400
<v Speaker 4>Then I get this massive headache on one side of

1:03:33.440 --> 1:03:36.000
<v Speaker 4>my head and I'm like, Okay, maybe I'm dehydrated because

1:03:36.040 --> 1:03:37.840
<v Speaker 4>I haven't been drinking my gallon of water a day.

1:03:37.920 --> 1:03:39.880
<v Speaker 2>And this is why it's important to know your partner.

1:03:40.160 --> 1:03:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Because I looked in her eyes. Her eyes were super

1:03:42.760 --> 1:03:46.600
<v Speaker 2>super low and glossy, and the tent wasn't white like

1:03:46.680 --> 1:03:49.479
<v Speaker 2>she had like a slightly yellowish tent eyes.

1:03:49.800 --> 1:03:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I was like, yo, something is wrong with right.

1:03:51.760 --> 1:03:53.720
<v Speaker 4>And then I'm laying here with him on this I'm

1:03:53.760 --> 1:03:56.080
<v Speaker 4>actually sitting behind him on this couch. And then I

1:03:56.160 --> 1:03:59.200
<v Speaker 4>just start to feel really nauseous and I'm like and

1:03:59.240 --> 1:04:00.800
<v Speaker 4>I was like, the last time I felt something kind

1:04:00.800 --> 1:04:02.880
<v Speaker 4>of like this was when I had the postpartun pre

1:04:02.960 --> 1:04:07.000
<v Speaker 4>plansha with Dakota and something to say, check your blood pressure.

1:04:08.160 --> 1:04:11.200
<v Speaker 3>I went to check my blood pressure. My blood pressure was.

1:04:11.240 --> 1:04:15.320
<v Speaker 4>One forty two over one hundred, which is wild high,

1:04:15.640 --> 1:04:18.680
<v Speaker 4>wold high for me. I'm like, your classic, like one

1:04:18.800 --> 1:04:21.600
<v Speaker 4>eighteen over sixty eight kind of girl. So for my

1:04:21.600 --> 1:04:24.000
<v Speaker 4>blood pressure to be that high, and all I'm thinking

1:04:24.000 --> 1:04:26.520
<v Speaker 4>to myself is like, I haven't done anything that would

1:04:26.600 --> 1:04:29.080
<v Speaker 4>warrant a high blood pressure right now, aside from the

1:04:29.080 --> 1:04:31.840
<v Speaker 4>heavy period drinking. I was, yeah, I've just been doing

1:04:31.840 --> 1:04:34.600
<v Speaker 4>all the things. So I took my blood pressure. I

1:04:34.640 --> 1:04:36.240
<v Speaker 4>called my sister, of course, because now that she's a

1:04:36.280 --> 1:04:38.600
<v Speaker 4>nurse practitioner, she know a lot more about the whole

1:04:38.600 --> 1:04:41.000
<v Speaker 4>medical feeling. I'm like, she's going through like the motions

1:04:41.000 --> 1:04:42.640
<v Speaker 4>in her head, like we're checking the boxes of the

1:04:42.680 --> 1:04:45.000
<v Speaker 4>things that can or can't be And she's just like,

1:04:45.040 --> 1:04:48.520
<v Speaker 4>all right, take two tile and all, get some hydration in,

1:04:48.720 --> 1:04:51.800
<v Speaker 4>eat a meal. If the headache doesn't subside, then I

1:04:51.800 --> 1:04:52.840
<v Speaker 4>think you should go to the er.

1:04:53.720 --> 1:04:55.040
<v Speaker 3>So I don't take it serious.

1:04:55.560 --> 1:04:57.760
<v Speaker 1>From the minute she told me her blood pressure, I was.

1:04:57.720 --> 1:05:01.680
<v Speaker 4>Just like, yo, go, So I tried not to panic

1:05:01.680 --> 1:05:03.480
<v Speaker 4>because I think that's gonna make it worse. So I

1:05:03.560 --> 1:05:05.720
<v Speaker 4>ended up taking the tilenol, had something to eat.

1:05:05.800 --> 1:05:08.440
<v Speaker 2>She did tell you too, we took the blood pressure.

1:05:08.520 --> 1:05:10.320
<v Speaker 2>Then she took it again on the same arm and

1:05:10.360 --> 1:05:12.360
<v Speaker 2>it went up. It was at like one oh six.

1:05:12.840 --> 1:05:14.840
<v Speaker 2>And then she said, don't take your blood pressure on

1:05:14.880 --> 1:05:17.000
<v Speaker 2>the same arm twice. This is important for people to

1:05:17.080 --> 1:05:19.600
<v Speaker 2>know because once it's squeezed.

1:05:19.240 --> 1:05:22.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it gets stretchedls.

1:05:21.160 --> 1:05:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Then when you try to take it again, it's automatically

1:05:23.440 --> 1:05:25.640
<v Speaker 2>going to be high. So she switched arms and took

1:05:25.680 --> 1:05:27.720
<v Speaker 2>it again and it was below one hundred, which is

1:05:27.760 --> 1:05:29.640
<v Speaker 2>why we didn't go to the hospital. I think that's

1:05:29.680 --> 1:05:32.080
<v Speaker 2>important till somebody at home has it and they keep

1:05:32.160 --> 1:05:34.360
<v Speaker 2>taking their blood pressure. If they know what is getting high,

1:05:34.600 --> 1:05:36.800
<v Speaker 2>it's because you're taking that in the same arm.

1:05:36.680 --> 1:05:38.160
<v Speaker 3>Right, Yeah, So this arm was a bit lower.

1:05:38.160 --> 1:05:40.080
<v Speaker 4>It was like one point thirty something over like ninety seven,

1:05:40.080 --> 1:05:42.080
<v Speaker 4>which is still high, but it was better, right, So

1:05:42.120 --> 1:05:45.840
<v Speaker 4>I took the tilenol, hydrated all of that stuff. Didn't

1:05:45.840 --> 1:05:47.480
<v Speaker 4>want to take a nap because I just feel like

1:05:47.560 --> 1:05:49.600
<v Speaker 4>when you don't feel well, I feel like taking a nap.

1:05:49.600 --> 1:05:51.560
<v Speaker 4>You just don't want to sleep. So I stayed up

1:05:51.600 --> 1:05:54.280
<v Speaker 4>and everything the headache subsided. So she said that was

1:05:54.320 --> 1:05:56.840
<v Speaker 4>a good sign. And I just realized, like I just

1:05:57.160 --> 1:05:59.520
<v Speaker 4>in those two weeks probably burnt myself out to an

1:05:59.520 --> 1:06:01.960
<v Speaker 4>extent and didn't even realize it because I was on

1:06:02.040 --> 1:06:05.120
<v Speaker 4>such a high from the adrenaline and everything happening and

1:06:05.160 --> 1:06:08.280
<v Speaker 4>being in a happy place that my body was literally

1:06:08.320 --> 1:06:11.520
<v Speaker 4>telling me, bitch, get the fuck back it together, like.

1:06:11.520 --> 1:06:12.560
<v Speaker 3>My body was in shock.

1:06:13.080 --> 1:06:15.240
<v Speaker 4>So to tie in my moment and truth with that

1:06:15.320 --> 1:06:18.640
<v Speaker 4>quick story is to say, listen, when you.

1:06:18.680 --> 1:06:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Was added somebody, you know how she always said my

1:06:21.560 --> 1:06:22.280
<v Speaker 2>stories be long.

1:06:22.920 --> 1:06:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Nobody going to tell her that her story was long

1:06:24.680 --> 1:06:26.600
<v Speaker 1>or it's only me trouble, but you don't.

1:06:34.080 --> 1:06:38.160
<v Speaker 3>The story to say. I won't say quick. I said.

1:06:38.160 --> 1:06:40.880
<v Speaker 4>I sorry to say, listen to your body, because your

1:06:40.880 --> 1:06:43.160
<v Speaker 4>body is it's all you have. It's the only one

1:06:43.200 --> 1:06:44.840
<v Speaker 4>you got, so you got to take care of it.

1:06:45.080 --> 1:06:45.760
<v Speaker 3>Burnout or not.

1:06:45.800 --> 1:06:47.479
<v Speaker 4>You're only going to be able to perform and show

1:06:47.520 --> 1:06:49.680
<v Speaker 4>up as yourself if you're taking care of yourself.

1:06:50.040 --> 1:06:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Facts.

1:06:51.120 --> 1:06:51.600
<v Speaker 7>I got one.

1:06:51.920 --> 1:06:54.680
<v Speaker 8>Let's NBA players, This is not for you, but load

1:06:54.720 --> 1:06:57.520
<v Speaker 8>management is important.

1:06:58.320 --> 1:07:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Facts that nobody went by them, fucking little management. We

1:07:01.440 --> 1:07:02.800
<v Speaker 2>played all this money for these tickets.

1:07:02.960 --> 1:07:03.360
<v Speaker 3>Period.

1:07:03.480 --> 1:07:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm pissed running ahead, Josh.

1:07:07.600 --> 1:07:10.440
<v Speaker 6>All right, So my moment of the truth is, uh,

1:07:11.800 --> 1:07:16.160
<v Speaker 6>burn me out once. Shame on me. No, shame on you. Yeah,

1:07:16.520 --> 1:07:18.640
<v Speaker 6>burn me out twice, shame on me.

1:07:19.040 --> 1:07:19.800
<v Speaker 7>Why shame on you?

1:07:21.320 --> 1:07:24.080
<v Speaker 9>Because I know better at the first time. Yes, And

1:07:24.680 --> 1:07:27.920
<v Speaker 9>one thing you did tell me you you always tell me. Actually, like, yo, bro,

1:07:28.040 --> 1:07:30.000
<v Speaker 9>if you need to take a break, let me know.

1:07:30.760 --> 1:07:32.760
<v Speaker 9>I'm holding that card in my back pocket. Though into

1:07:32.840 --> 1:07:34.640
<v Speaker 9>like I really, really really.

1:07:34.560 --> 1:07:36.880
<v Speaker 1>Josh on everything though we know when you need that

1:07:37.000 --> 1:07:38.840
<v Speaker 1>though real talk I got you don't.

1:07:39.560 --> 1:07:40.480
<v Speaker 3>No, that's necessary.

1:07:40.800 --> 1:07:42.040
<v Speaker 1>That's the worst thing I want to hear.

1:07:42.320 --> 1:07:45.240
<v Speaker 2>You know what's on the rise in America heart talks

1:07:46.680 --> 1:07:48.600
<v Speaker 2>the people between twenty and thirty.

1:07:48.800 --> 1:07:50.320
<v Speaker 3>That's why the blood pressure for me was a thing.

1:07:50.400 --> 1:07:52.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm like on the rise, I got.

1:07:52.280 --> 1:07:54.720
<v Speaker 2>The last thing I want to ever hear is I'd

1:07:54.800 --> 1:07:56.760
<v Speaker 2>rather hear Josh say y'all need a break, rather than

1:07:56.840 --> 1:07:58.960
<v Speaker 2>getting a call from Anika saying, hey, Josh in the

1:07:59.000 --> 1:08:01.280
<v Speaker 2>hospital he had a stroke. Yeah, I don't ever want

1:08:01.320 --> 1:08:04.919
<v Speaker 2>to hear that. Why all about working out all the time,

1:08:05.000 --> 1:08:06.760
<v Speaker 2>because that helps. That's the reason why.

1:08:06.800 --> 1:08:09.360
<v Speaker 8>That's why I started working out. I had a high

1:08:09.360 --> 1:08:13.600
<v Speaker 8>blood russure randomly, I think I don't remember exact number,

1:08:13.640 --> 1:08:16.679
<v Speaker 8>but it was near like one forty over. I remember

1:08:16.720 --> 1:08:19.599
<v Speaker 8>the number, looked at it my wife.

1:08:21.240 --> 1:08:23.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, not a thirty three months.

1:08:25.760 --> 1:08:31.559
<v Speaker 2>Stylistic is the top right high one. If you around,

1:08:32.200 --> 1:08:34.639
<v Speaker 2>anything between one ten and one twenty is considered normal.

1:08:35.000 --> 1:08:38.360
<v Speaker 2>That lower number should be anywhere between US sixties eighty

1:08:38.439 --> 1:08:38.760
<v Speaker 2>or something.

1:08:40.479 --> 1:08:43.000
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, it was like near ninety or NAR one hundred something.

1:08:44.600 --> 1:08:48.080
<v Speaker 2>When she had postpartum pre clamshaw, she was two hundred

1:08:48.439 --> 1:08:51.360
<v Speaker 2>over something and they said, if she would have went

1:08:51.400 --> 1:08:53.800
<v Speaker 2>to sleep, you would have woke up and your wife

1:08:53.840 --> 1:08:55.519
<v Speaker 2>would have either been staring at you because she had

1:08:55.520 --> 1:08:57.280
<v Speaker 2>a stroke and can't talk, or you would have woke

1:08:57.360 --> 1:08:58.800
<v Speaker 2>up and your wife wouldn't have been here no more.

1:08:59.120 --> 1:09:00.800
<v Speaker 2>That's what the nurse to him, because I asked herself,

1:09:00.840 --> 1:09:02.840
<v Speaker 2>why does my wife need to be admitted? And she

1:09:02.960 --> 1:09:05.799
<v Speaker 2>explained to me that high blood pressure leads to stroke

1:09:06.760 --> 1:09:08.400
<v Speaker 2>and we all got to be better with that.

1:09:09.200 --> 1:09:10.240
<v Speaker 1>I know you young over there.

1:09:10.280 --> 1:09:12.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to say your name, but I don't

1:09:12.200 --> 1:09:13.800
<v Speaker 2>care if you in your twenties, bro, we got to

1:09:13.880 --> 1:09:15.040
<v Speaker 2>be working out and eating right.

1:09:15.800 --> 1:09:17.719
<v Speaker 1>So your moment of truth, though.

1:09:17.880 --> 1:09:18.639
<v Speaker 3>Keep a blood pressure.

1:09:19.479 --> 1:09:23.160
<v Speaker 1>I like that, Yeah, like that. My moment of truth

1:09:23.840 --> 1:09:26.639
<v Speaker 1>is be careful.

1:09:27.040 --> 1:09:29.840
<v Speaker 5>I guess when you're first starting out something, when you're

1:09:29.880 --> 1:09:33.559
<v Speaker 5>excited to do it, still, just pay attention to how

1:09:33.640 --> 1:09:35.320
<v Speaker 5>much you take on because you won't be able to

1:09:36.479 --> 1:09:37.519
<v Speaker 5>sustain that forever.

1:09:38.600 --> 1:09:40.559
<v Speaker 1>That is a good When you like something, you tend

1:09:40.600 --> 1:09:44.680
<v Speaker 1>to like. You know, it's like I like this, and today.

1:09:48.000 --> 1:09:49.679
<v Speaker 8>I was going to when he was talking, I was thinking,

1:09:49.840 --> 1:09:54.360
<v Speaker 8>it's like, it's similar to like overeating. You just feel yeah,

1:09:55.000 --> 1:09:56.400
<v Speaker 8>I know as much as I love this.

1:09:57.880 --> 1:09:58.679
<v Speaker 1>That is a good point.

1:10:00.120 --> 1:10:01.600
<v Speaker 6>Read too much of anything is.

1:10:04.960 --> 1:10:06.000
<v Speaker 3>Hashtag ration.

1:10:06.280 --> 1:10:16.360
<v Speaker 1>That ass like scratch was.

1:10:18.280 --> 1:10:24.759
<v Speaker 4>Tell that to Miss forty plus former virgin ration that okay, okay, period,

1:10:25.880 --> 1:10:28.040
<v Speaker 4>all right, y'all. Be sure to find us on Patreon

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<v Speaker 3>Elis ever After. I'm deval Oh, I'm Kadeen, I am.

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<v Speaker 8>collab period and.

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<v Speaker 6>A Underscore d.

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