Speaker 1: SoundBite.
Speaker 2: What I'm about to say may surprise you, but it
Speaker 2: is very possible to get burnt out even doing the
Speaker 2: things you love to do.
Speaker 3: Very interesting take.
Speaker 4: That's why Me with Me Burnout is synonymous with book
Speaker 4: that flight and get the fuck out.
Speaker 1: Of here.
Speaker 3: In a bikini.
Speaker 4: You see the bees, the bees keep rolling, Baby burnout
Speaker 4: on the beach.
Speaker 1: I'll let you have it.
Speaker 2: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
Speaker 2: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Speaker 2: Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times best selling authors.
Speaker 3: That ass was more than a podcast for us. It
Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Be raw, or but most apportly be us.
Speaker 4: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,
Speaker 4: and through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 5: This is.
Speaker 3: You got a lot to talk about story time.
Speaker 2: Story time, So I'm gonna tell you all about a
Speaker 2: burnout opportunity.
Speaker 1: Well, not burnout, that's not even an opportunity.
Speaker 2: A burned out time in my life where I didn't
Speaker 2: even know I was getting burned out until I was
Speaker 2: burnt out.
Speaker 1: Y'all know, I'm an athlete. I love sports. I love basketball.
Speaker 2: I like football. I don't love football. I liked football,
Speaker 2: but I did love to play it. When I was
Speaker 2: playing and going into my fourth season in the NFL,
Speaker 2: I had just signed with the Browns and they had
Speaker 2: fired Romeo Cornell. They brought in Eric Mangini, and I
Speaker 2: was going to practice every day doing what I had
Speaker 2: to do, doing my lists and stuff like that. And
Speaker 2: then they started bringing in some other rookies and some
Speaker 2: other people, and before I knew it, I realized that
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to be here no more like before.
Speaker 2: It was happening before my eyes, but I didn't realize it.
Speaker 2: And I started to realize it. When you know me,
Speaker 2: in ten years of football that you've been a part of,
Speaker 2: have I been late to a meeting?
Speaker 5: Not one?
Speaker 1: Have I ever been late to workouts?
Speaker 3: Not I ever missed in life? Not one.
Speaker 2: So I remember going OTAs Monday, walking into meetings. I'm
Speaker 2: three minutes late. Coaches like the Value late. It was
Speaker 2: like my full coach Tuesday, come in there and fall asleep,
Speaker 2: like the Val if you sleep and you might want
Speaker 2: to just step out. Then I got up and just
Speaker 2: walked out. And it was in that moment that I realized, like, Yo,
Speaker 2: I'm fucking burnt out, like I'm over this.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do it no more.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't want to do it no more.
Speaker 2: And when they called me right before we went back
Speaker 2: to camp and they were like, hey, Devo, we're gonna
Speaker 2: let you go. We're gonna sign some draft picks, I
Speaker 2: just said okay and hung up the phone.
Speaker 1: Got need a dissertation. I didn't.
Speaker 2: And in that moment, now that I look back on it,
Speaker 2: I realized that I was burnt out. Like I went
Speaker 2: from being a walk a free agent, no, a walk
Speaker 2: onege having to always prove myself every day, and the
Speaker 2: free agent in the NFL having to proved myself every day,
Speaker 2: even though it was doing something I love.
Speaker 3: I was fucking over it, and you were tired of
Speaker 3: having to prove yourself. Yes, I get it. I was
Speaker 3: surprised when that happened. But here we are.
Speaker 1: It happens now. For karaoke.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna let Key sing the song because I don't
Speaker 2: know the words. I'm just being honest, y'all.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: I have no I kid the words.
Speaker 1: I know that I know the first the six words.
Speaker 3: When you feel it in me. Nobody who make you
Speaker 3: change your ways? Like with your crew?
Speaker 4: Will you act like you're ready, but you don't really know?
Speaker 4: And everything in the past, you want to let it
Speaker 4: go in the done it after all that, This is
Speaker 4: what I found. Nobody wants to be alone. If you
Speaker 4: touched by the words in the song, and baby.
Speaker 1: You got it that's wrong song. We got trouble.
Speaker 6: That's the wrong.
Speaker 1: So that's not let it burn. You got it bad? Well,
Speaker 1: you know who got it bad? We got it bad, bad, bad?
Speaker 6: Yo?
Speaker 3: How did we get there?
Speaker 1: We always there's supposed to be let it burn. It
Speaker 1: was supposed to.
Speaker 3: Be let it burn.
Speaker 4: H shoot, no doubt that's what you got it mad? No, no, no, no, no, nobody,
Speaker 4: Now we have to be starry.
Speaker 3: Why are we all drawing a blank right now? It's
Speaker 3: because we're all.
Speaker 2: You got it bad, that's let it burn, lett it
Speaker 2: burn ley.
Speaker 4: You know it's bad for yourself, but you, in the
Speaker 4: thought of a thing with someone else, say.
Speaker 3: You know that it's over letty bird. I mean, I
Speaker 3: guess that does apply. And that's why we wanted to
Speaker 3: sing that song.
Speaker 1: We got to it. We got to it all. We
Speaker 1: took a turn. It was the wrong way.
Speaker 4: That's the first time that's happened in karaoke that we
Speaker 4: sang the entire first verse into the wrong as chorus.
Speaker 4: You know what it was to we were over here,
Speaker 4: just our mind was blown because the video went out
Speaker 4: recently of USh.
Speaker 3: You're saying, who's in the streets, not cruising the streets?
Speaker 3: We all know and I thought we knew that. It
Speaker 3: was seven o'clock on the dot.
Speaker 1: He's in his drop top cruising the streets.
Speaker 3: He said, who's in the streets? Baby?
Speaker 2: I got a real pretty pretty it's about sitting next me.
Speaker 3: I mean, now it's a whole Usher concerts is.
Speaker 1: Here in the building. What you expect?
Speaker 4: Even more reason why we should have known what the
Speaker 4: damn soul was. That's hilarious that that happened. All right, Well,
Speaker 4: clearly we need to take a break. We need to reconvene,
Speaker 4: get our ship together, and then we'll be back to
Speaker 4: talk more about navigating burnout.
Speaker 3: Stick around, y'all, and we're back, and we're back, guys.
Speaker 1: My favorite part of the show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, do you want to touch based on story
Speaker 4: time real quick or we'll get into that in the
Speaker 4: meat of the show.
Speaker 3: Let's do let's do perfect triple. Is your time to shine?
Speaker 7: John.
Speaker 5: Since we're talking about work today, I figured I would
Speaker 5: talk about an actor since we got two actors amongst us.
Speaker 5: I'm talking about me and the voices in my head.
Speaker 3: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Will Smith?
Speaker 5: Though he has an album coming out, he's a rapper again,
Speaker 5: which is.
Speaker 1: Put him in a box. He started that way, don't
Speaker 1: put him in a box.
Speaker 5: I guess if you slap somebody on live TV, you
Speaker 5: gotta come out with a roar.
Speaker 2: He is spiritual, He's in a different place. He's not the
Speaker 2: same person anymore. You want Wilson to come out with
Speaker 2: a game, It's not gonna happen, but I would buy it.
Speaker 5: Though he's been on a promo tour promoting his album,
Speaker 5: his upcoming album, and he went on a streamers platform recently,
Speaker 5: and this specific streamer asked him to name his Mount
Speaker 5: Rushmore of actors top four actors of all time, and
Speaker 5: the first actor he named was himself. Of course, he
Speaker 5: said he got to put hisself on there. But the
Speaker 5: other three he named were Denzel Washington.
Speaker 2: I get that, Daniel da Lewis, I get that, and
Speaker 2: Marlon Brando.
Speaker 8: Why he said it though I can understand he's older
Speaker 8: people Revere the Godfather, So I can't understand why he said.
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 3: I have no.
Speaker 1: I have no. That's his list. I have no.
Speaker 3: Well, who's on your Mount Rush?
Speaker 1: Who's on my Mount rushmore?
Speaker 2: Wowut If I start with commercial success and also want
Speaker 2: to Oscar, I would have to start with will Smith,
Speaker 2: Like he's box office Willie. Nobody else has done in
Speaker 2: the movie space what he's done. If I'm talking about
Speaker 2: art films and range and the ability to play a
Speaker 2: bunch of different characters and just be great, like I'm
Speaker 2: gonna go with Denzel Washington. My favorite actor of all
Speaker 2: times everybody knows is Wesley Snipes. He pretty much created
Speaker 2: the Marvel universe. He's played everything from Chu Wang Fuo
Speaker 2: to What's the Other when White Man can't Jump play Blade.
Speaker 1: Like New Jack City. There's no role that he hasn't played.
Speaker 2: He played a baseball player in major leagues, like Wesley
Speaker 2: Snipe has done everything. And if I have to go
Speaker 2: with one more man we're talking about range, and we're
Speaker 2: talking about commercial success and the ability to do everything,
Speaker 2: it will be a toss up between Samuel l and.
Speaker 1: Lawrence Fishburn. Be honest, I like to keep it black.
Speaker 2: But Daniel day Lewis, Tom Hanks, uh, Leonardo DiCaprio, Like,
Speaker 2: if I'm being honest and not keeping it black, you
Speaker 2: can't have a Mount Rushmore without Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel day Lewis,
Speaker 2: and Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is the only actor ever
Speaker 2: to win two Oscars back to back as the leading man.
Speaker 2: So those would be like putting it in around Mount Rushmore,
Speaker 2: just those four, I can't do it. And the reason
Speaker 2: why I stay black. I go with black verst is
Speaker 2: because Hollywood wasn't created.
Speaker 1: For black people.
Speaker 2: So for those black men to have that success with
Speaker 2: the amount of rules that's not written for us, I
Speaker 2: always give them the nine. But that's not taking away
Speaker 2: from the talent of our white counterparts.
Speaker 8: Sorry, but I had exact reasons why I have Sidney
Speaker 8: Poitier in my top five. Sidney Poitier broke the barrier
Speaker 8: for a lot of the people to do anything that
Speaker 8: they're doing.
Speaker 7: You know what, he set the bar you know what.
Speaker 1: I can't even now we say that Sidney pot did.
Speaker 1: What about Morgan Freeman?
Speaker 5: So it's interesting you're naming these people. So there's a
Speaker 5: there's a documentary coming out later this month called uh
Speaker 5: Yeah that's going to talk about the success of a
Speaker 5: lot of these black actors, which I'm excited to watch.
Speaker 3: Excited.
Speaker 5: Next, I guess we can talk about politics a little bit.
Speaker 5: Uh So recently Trump and Trump, the President, our president.
Speaker 3: The people that president, and the people of them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, President sign in executive order to dismantle the Department
Speaker 5: of Education, which is insane. The Department of Education, they
Speaker 5: control uh funding for education and higher education grants, uh
Speaker 5: funding for services for children with disability. So a lot
Speaker 5: of people think this is going to put people who
Speaker 5: are already at risk further behind, like low income families
Speaker 5: and special education students, and it's going to widen educational disparities.
Speaker 5: So the Trump's idea behind this is to give power back.
Speaker 1: To the states.
Speaker 5: I think something that we understand about the Civil War
Speaker 5: is that apparently it was about states, right, So here
Speaker 5: we are back.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you brought up the Civil War because
Speaker 2: if people understand where the Department of Education came from,
Speaker 2: they would understand why this is.
Speaker 1: Never for us as black people.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Right after the Civil War, the DC was created.
Speaker 2: The UDC is the United Daughters of the Confederacy led
Speaker 2: by a woman called named Mildred Rutherford, and Mildred Rutherford's
Speaker 2: whole purpose of the United Daughters of the Confederacy was
Speaker 2: to uphold the lost cause in doctrination. The lost cause
Speaker 2: in doctrination was the indoctrination that the Confederacy was here
Speaker 2: to save America. So what they did was they changed
Speaker 2: all of the textbooks that we see federally to become whitewashed.
Speaker 2: That's why there's no black history in the textbooks. So
Speaker 2: for me, the dismantling of the Department of Education for
Speaker 2: the federal level takes away the power of the federal
Speaker 2: level to tell all of our kids what they're going
Speaker 2: to learn in schools. Now, him giving it to the
Speaker 2: local leaders like states, allows the governors and the mayors
Speaker 2: to decide how they're going to educate and the funding
Speaker 2: they're going to use for their constituents, which.
Speaker 4: I think makes it a little bit more tangible for
Speaker 4: people in their respective states. But if you're in those
Speaker 4: local elections and you're, you know, lobbying for the things
Speaker 4: that you want, then there's probably a greater chance of
Speaker 4: you getting those things now.
Speaker 1: If now the problem is doing that.
Speaker 2: If you cut the Board of Education, the federal funding
Speaker 2: that comes down to these states get cut as well.
Speaker 2: And a lot of that federal funding was to help
Speaker 2: people who look like us. So I'm kind of torn.
Speaker 2: I'm torn because our people need the funding, especially since
Speaker 2: we pay taxes. We need that funding to educate our kids.
Speaker 2: But I'm torn because the education they teach our kids
Speaker 2: is not the real education.
Speaker 1: I give you a perfect example. Jackson just last month had.
Speaker 2: To do a story or had to do a report
Speaker 2: on Western expansion, and all of the stuff they talked
Speaker 2: about in Western Expansion never talked about the black the
Speaker 2: black cowboys and the black sheriffs, and the people who
Speaker 2: actually built this country.
Speaker 1: The Asians that came over here.
Speaker 2: All of the stories was about what the US government
Speaker 2: did to help grow America.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this is not real history.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I said, Jack you ever
Speaker 2: heard about black holes? He was like, no, only from you.
Speaker 2: And that leads me to my point. I don't care
Speaker 2: what they do with the Department of Education because I
Speaker 2: am going to always educate my kids period. Like whatever
Speaker 2: funding they pull, I'm going to make sure that my
Speaker 2: kids understand who they are and where they stand when
Speaker 2: it comes to history.
Speaker 1: So my opinion on the Department of Education is, let
Speaker 1: the federal government do what they gotta do. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make sure my kids know period.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that opera.
Speaker 1: No opp from the rest of the crew.
Speaker 7: I got no op because I'm not going to say
Speaker 7: anything as eloquent, but.
Speaker 1: People know that history.
Speaker 2: I wrote the book that book. I wrote the book
Speaker 2: The Ellis is in a time machine. Like I learned
Speaker 2: about Mildred Rutherfoot should had my skin crawl like so
Speaker 2: y'all actually had a woman go into the textbooks and say,
Speaker 2: we're not going to say this.
Speaker 1: We're going to say this just to uphold and.
Speaker 2: For people who don't know what the Lost Cause in
Speaker 2: doctrination is, go back and watch.
Speaker 1: Birth of a Nation, the very first Birth of a Nation,
Speaker 1: which was.
Speaker 2: The first movie that played in the White House right
Speaker 2: during reconstruction, and the movie was of white men in
Speaker 2: blackface terrorizing the people of America, and the klu Klux
Speaker 2: Klan came to save Americans because after well during reconstruction,
Speaker 2: the story they told of the Lost Cause was that
Speaker 2: they finally allowed slaves and people of color to be
Speaker 2: a part of the government, and they ran the government rampant,
Speaker 2: and they needed the KKK to come save the people
Speaker 2: of America from the black men that were raping and stealing.
Speaker 2: That's the lost cause in doctrination, the fact that the
Speaker 2: Confederacy was about states' rights and it wasn't about slavery.
Speaker 2: So what they're continuously doing is trying to indoctrinate generations
Speaker 2: that the Confederacy was here to save America, not that
Speaker 2: they were pretty much treason this people who tried to
Speaker 2: separate from the Union and lost.
Speaker 1: The biggest thing is that the Confederacy.
Speaker 2: Lost the war, the Civil War, and they never wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about them losing the war. So I think
Speaker 2: it's important for people to understand where the Department of
Speaker 2: Education sits and our people not just about funds, because
Speaker 2: they will give our people funds and then have someone
Speaker 2: educate them incorrectly.
Speaker 1: That's just my opinion on it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: But I mean, we've never relied on the textbooks ever.
Speaker 2: All of our kids have tutors and mentors, Like even
Speaker 2: when we didn't have money, Padeen and Deval was in
Speaker 2: that book with Jackson, Like, that's how I learned about
Speaker 2: so much of this stuff.
Speaker 4: I was about to say, Deva's mom was just here
Speaker 4: visiting with the boys, and I had gotten these little
Speaker 4: flash cars that are just like black history flash cars
Speaker 4: and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Her eyes lit up. She was like, Yeah, I want
Speaker 3: to go for some of these with the kids, because
Speaker 3: your mom lived through.
Speaker 2: My mom lived through the end of the degregation, and
Speaker 2: she was in Brooklyn and they had finally ended segregation
Speaker 2: in the late sixties or early seventies, and she was
Speaker 2: one of the first group of black kids to go
Speaker 2: to school in Marine integrated and they were chased out
Speaker 2: of those schools every single day. So my mom doesn't
Speaker 2: play when it comes to education. That's why I am
Speaker 2: the way I am. And that's that's also why I'm
Speaker 2: so pro bleak history, because that history lives in me.
Speaker 2: Like this to me isn't just opinions. These are facts
Speaker 2: that my mom made sure I knew, so Department of Education,
Speaker 2: I never rely on that. My mom used to sit
Speaker 2: in all of the meetings and talk about funding. How
Speaker 2: come none of this funding is going towards arts or
Speaker 2: going towards this. My mom used to sit in the
Speaker 2: meetings to be like this ain't right, and I realized,
Speaker 2: like the federal government doesn't have the amount of power
Speaker 2: people think they have when it comes to educating our
Speaker 2: people and our kids. So parents, if you're listening, handle
Speaker 2: that yourself. Don't even leave that up to them.
Speaker 5: And just imagine parents who who have to work, single parents,
Speaker 5: have multiple children time. Yes, plus, this was an alarming
Speaker 5: stat that I read the other day. Fifty six percent
Speaker 5: of American adults have a reading level below sixth grade.
Speaker 1: So a lot of parents shocking.
Speaker 5: No, it's not shocking, but I'm just saying a lot
Speaker 5: of a lot of parents don't even have, you know,
Speaker 5: the intelligence to teach their children. And that's what we're
Speaker 5: going to So we have to really rely on community
Speaker 5: in this time to try to make sure that our
Speaker 5: kids don't get left behind.
Speaker 2: That's a problem on what you just said, And it
Speaker 2: doesn't surprise me fifty six percent because most people don't
Speaker 2: value school or education.
Speaker 5: In our in our parents generation, a lot of times
Speaker 5: they couldn't they had to make other choices.
Speaker 2: That is true when I think about my grandmother. My
Speaker 2: grandmother couldn't go to high school. She had to take
Speaker 2: care of her siblings because there was six of them
Speaker 2: and she was the oldest.
Speaker 1: That is a very valid point.
Speaker 5: And uh, back on the subject of burnout, I saw
Speaker 5: a TikTok recently a woman named doctor Claire Ashley talking
Speaker 5: about burnout, and she said that it takes on average
Speaker 5: one to three years to recover from burnout. But she
Speaker 5: said there's five stages of burnout that can help you
Speaker 5: identify burnout quickly quicker, so that you can recover quicker,
Speaker 5: just in case.
Speaker 1: So are you interested in hearing I.
Speaker 3: Would hear that's the perfect segue.
Speaker 1: Well, all right.
Speaker 5: Stage one is the honeymoon phase, she said. This is
Speaker 5: when you start a new job. You're really excited, and
Speaker 5: so because you're so excited, you might take on more
Speaker 5: work than you actually can handle and trying to prove yourself,
Speaker 5: try to prove yourself excited about the work, excited to
Speaker 5: do the thing. Yeah, and then that will lead you
Speaker 5: into phase two, which is the onset of stress. This
Speaker 5: is when you start to notice that things becoming more
Speaker 5: stressful you or you start to have more stressful days
Speaker 5: than non stressful days, and you start to notice that
Speaker 5: you might be getting frustrated you might be feeling a
Speaker 5: little bit overwhelmed, and that can lead to chronic stress
Speaker 5: if you don't do anything about it at that point,
Speaker 5: it will lead to the third phase, which is chronic stress.
Speaker 5: And this when you're chronically stressed, it affects your ability
Speaker 5: to concentrate. You're less productive and you feel more overwhelmed, overwhelmed, yeah,
Speaker 5: and then that leads to the fourth stage, which is
Speaker 5: actual burnout where this is where the apathy really kicks in.
Speaker 5: You're feeling detached from your friends, detached from your family,
Speaker 5: detached from your emotions, yeah, detached from the work, and
Speaker 5: you're feeling a level of exhaustion that goes.
Speaker 1: Along with it.
Speaker 5: And then that leads to the fifth stage of burnout,
Speaker 5: which is habitual burnout, which is a loss of joy
Speaker 5: in basically anything retired.
Speaker 3: You might yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, when you lose that, yeah, it can lead to
Speaker 5: unhealthy habits, you know, seeking out dopamine to be.
Speaker 2: Numb so that you don't have to feel what's happening.
Speaker 2: You did that not describe everything?
Speaker 1: Then? Yeah?
Speaker 3: So I see a correlation between burnout and having kids.
Speaker 4: Honey, labor delivery, postpartum, Oh shit is linked together.
Speaker 2: You got labor delivery, no pregnancy, pregnancy first, then you
Speaker 2: got labor delivery, and you have after.
Speaker 1: From postpartum, but sleep deprivation on top.
Speaker 4: Of all of that, all the things burnt burnout is
Speaker 4: a lot. Yeah, literally just want to be like by
Speaker 4: my Well, what is it? How does it manifest itself
Speaker 4: in you? Because for you with burnout, I know that
Speaker 4: there's a detachment that happens that you just kind of
Speaker 4: let go or coping mechanisms to deal with burnout. For me,
Speaker 4: I know when I'm burnt out, I just want to
Speaker 4: shut everything down, Like I don't want to be around people,
Speaker 4: don't I want to be by myself. I don't want
Speaker 4: to do anything. I want to find the ways that
Speaker 4: I can find joy. Sometimes that's not leaving my bed.
Speaker 4: Sometimes that's continuously you know, watching a good show in
Speaker 4: time with just my kids and my husband. Like those
Speaker 4: are the things for me, I know I can find
Speaker 4: a little bit of like recovery from For.
Speaker 2: Me, I have to be purposeful about taking time for myself.
Speaker 2: Like what I've started to do now, I don't wake
Speaker 2: up my days anymore prepared to handle today. I don't
Speaker 2: wake up like I used to wake up phone check
Speaker 2: my accounts.
Speaker 3: That's a good point.
Speaker 2: How much how much money came in, how much money
Speaker 2: they came in, what came out? Let me call my advisor,
Speaker 2: let me find out what it is. Then after that,
Speaker 2: I checked my Instagram, my YouTube. I just make sure
Speaker 2: that all my analytics is working right. Then it's like
Speaker 2: the minute I woke up, I used to wake up.
Speaker 1: That's what it was.
Speaker 4: So it's like you woke up and almost inviting burnout business, yeah.
Speaker 2: Which which I found to be terrible for me. Like
Speaker 2: I was gaining weight. My eyes used to be super
Speaker 2: dark all the time. My hair was crazy, crazy thing,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Like my body, even my
Speaker 2: body five percentage. Matt was like, yoall looked at video
Speaker 2: of you last year and didn't realize that you were
Speaker 2: a lot bigger, Like I could see it in your face,
Speaker 2: and I realized that I have in order to navigate burnout.
Speaker 1: You can't let burnout happen. Right.
Speaker 2: The first thing of navigating is don't get burnt out.
Speaker 2: So I wake up in the morning. The for every
Speaker 2: first thing I do when I wake up is I
Speaker 2: go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, go to my fridge,
Speaker 2: take my ginger shot and drink my warm tea with
Speaker 2: my probiotic and I just sit for a minute.
Speaker 1: Sit, I meditate, I think about what it is I
Speaker 1: want to do in life.
Speaker 2: Then I go work out, spend my hour and a
Speaker 2: half focusing on myself and my body. At that point,
Speaker 2: I've rested my gut, because you know, gut health is important.
Speaker 2: I've stretched, I've meditated, I've made sure everything that was
Speaker 2: important to myself first was taken care of. Then I
Speaker 2: checked my count then I check my Instagram then. So
Speaker 2: for me, navigating burnout was to make sure the vow
Speaker 2: was okay first, and I never used to do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, for me with burnout, I realized that it
Speaker 4: was happening when I or we you know, essentially were
Speaker 4: chasing all of the things that we felt like we
Speaker 4: needed to chase in order to be successful within this
Speaker 4: career field. Right so, knowing the entertainment industry, the film
Speaker 4: and television industry, now the social media industry, which has
Speaker 4: become pretty much our livelihoods, for me, it was just like,
Speaker 4: how can I chase every bag? You know, exist in
Speaker 4: every opportunity because you never know at one point this
Speaker 4: will be gone, Like we were saying in another episode,
Speaker 4: ten years ago, social media and becoming a content creator
Speaker 4: wasn't a thing. So I almost felt like for a
Speaker 4: long time, like, at any point, this may not be
Speaker 4: a thing anymore, So let me try to maximize and
Speaker 4: capitalize on the opportunity now while I can, because taking
Speaker 4: this opportunity may lead to that next big break. And
Speaker 4: last year specifically, I realized like man like, I almost
Speaker 4: felt like we were hustling backwards in a sense because
Speaker 4: I'm like, if I'm taking this gig and it's not
Speaker 4: going to move the needle for me and in a
Speaker 4: way that's successful for or could potentially be successful for
Speaker 4: my career or from a professional standpoint, then it's like,
Speaker 4: am I just going to every event just to be seen,
Speaker 4: you know, sitting on every panel just to say you're
Speaker 4: on a panel, to be posting that you're all doing something?
Speaker 4: Or is this something that's really going to bring fulfillment
Speaker 4: actually potentially bring me future opportunities. Is it going to
Speaker 4: take me out of my home for an extended period
Speaker 4: of time that I don't need to be away from home.
Speaker 4: Those are the things that I had to start processing
Speaker 4: and kind of asking myself to prevent eventually being burnt out.
Speaker 2: So your first thing to naviate burnout was to be like,
Speaker 2: I'm no longer doing the things that just don't serve
Speaker 2: me directly, like not just doing stuff to do, eliminating busy.
Speaker 3: Work, eliminating business the biggest thing.
Speaker 2: Do busy work, Like, yeah, I'm sitting still, then I'm
Speaker 2: not doing anything.
Speaker 1: I'm not getting better exactly.
Speaker 4: That was how I'm feeling about it. Yeah, So that
Speaker 4: was the first thing. Also reinvesting time into myself and
Speaker 4: my health. So we both kind of got onto that
Speaker 4: bandwagon where we're like, you know what, nothing is gonna
Speaker 4: work if he and I aren't healthy. So we've been
Speaker 4: super supportive in both of our journeys to really make
Speaker 4: sure that from a health standpoint, we're investing in ourselves,
Speaker 4: we're eating better, we're getting the sleep. Like team no sleep,
Speaker 4: that's no longer a thing for me. Yeah, that's not
Speaker 4: I'm gonna need my sleep. I'm gonna need my seven
Speaker 4: to eight hours of sleep. Even when I was filming
Speaker 4: and stuff like that, I'm like I had to prioritize
Speaker 4: and like, am I gonna work out?
Speaker 3: Am I gonna study? Am I what?
Speaker 4: Am I gonna do in this you know, short amount
Speaker 4: of time that I have to recover for the next day.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, I'm going to sleep.
Speaker 2: But I do think team no sleep is part of
Speaker 2: the reason why burnout is so big in this generation. Yes,
Speaker 2: like it became a badger honor. Yeah, and it used
Speaker 2: to be for me when I used to be like, man,
Speaker 2: I work eighteen hours and I didn't sleep. It wasn't
Speaker 2: until I realized how much sleep was important for my recovery,
Speaker 2: not just physically but mentally. Like you when you don't
Speaker 2: sleep and you can't function because your cognitive dissonance.
Speaker 1: Is like all over the place.
Speaker 2: I can't even separate myself from stuff I want to
Speaker 2: because I can't even realize what's happening. And then that's
Speaker 2: a reality. What happens is when you don't sleep, you
Speaker 2: start to do busy work because you really can't decide
Speaker 2: what's important because your mind is all over the place.
Speaker 2: So you do everything, yeah, and before you know it,
Speaker 2: you're doing everything but also doing.
Speaker 4: Nothing right and you're not showing up one hundred percent anywhere.
Speaker 3: Everything is just kind of scattered.
Speaker 4: So for me, that was some of the biggest things
Speaker 4: that I had to navigate when I realized like burnout
Speaker 4: was definitely coming on. I realized too, that you can
Speaker 4: be burnt out in so many different ways. Like there's
Speaker 4: physical burnout, there's emotional burnout, there's a spiritual burnout, there's
Speaker 4: you know, mental burnout. And I say all the time,
Speaker 4: I feel like even just as a mom and a
Speaker 4: wife and a business woman, like there's so many tabs
Speaker 4: opened in my brain that I had to realize. Sometimes
Speaker 4: asking for help and delegating responsibilities things like that helped
Speaker 4: me navigate when I felt like, you know what, I
Speaker 4: just can't do this anymore. And it's sad when it
Speaker 4: hits you when you realize, like damn, like the love
Speaker 4: for the things that I want to do, I can't
Speaker 4: even do them because I don't have the energy to
Speaker 4: do it. When I realized it was affecting the time
Speaker 4: with the kids, for example, it's like I rather just
Speaker 4: lay in bed and have some mean time versus like
Speaker 4: wanting to chill with the kids.
Speaker 1: Like that was a problem for burnout. Was affecting your
Speaker 1: family and what you want to do at home. I
Speaker 1: got a question, trouble.
Speaker 2: I know there are some facts and stacks about burnout right,
Speaker 2: let me hear some of those.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's not a medical condition, but the World
Speaker 5: Health Organization does recognize that it can cause people to
Speaker 5: feel physically and emotionally drained or be exhausted, or they
Speaker 5: may also feel cynical.
Speaker 1: But it's not a medical condition. It's not considered a
Speaker 1: medical condition.
Speaker 5: No, but it can produce medical mental emotional symptoms like depression, Yeah,
Speaker 5: like depression, anxiety, and it can make it difficult to
Speaker 5: enjoy daily life. Some people also can have physical symptoms,
Speaker 5: like if you have something called somatic symptom syndrome, it's
Speaker 5: a turn it's a type of anxiety where you conflate
Speaker 5: stress with physical illness, so it can mimic physical illness.
Speaker 2: Are we not tired of all of these diagnoses? There's
Speaker 2: like fifteen thousand versions.
Speaker 3: Of depression and anxiety.
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna be honest, bro, I I feel like
Speaker 2: sometimes we're getting too like clinical with things because we
Speaker 2: have kids now who are like eleven, and they're like
Speaker 2: that have anxiety about this. I don't think I should
Speaker 2: do this, And it's like, well, hold up, hold up,
Speaker 2: you eleven, you don't really have no anxiety about what
Speaker 2: you're scared.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of torn with that because I feel like
Speaker 3: I feel I'm.
Speaker 1: Talking with that because I'm torn.
Speaker 4: I'm torn because I think as we grew up right
Speaker 4: and we were told to just push through things and
Speaker 4: to deal with it and this.
Speaker 3: Is part of the chorus, and this is how you
Speaker 3: become successful.
Speaker 4: It's like we just kind of put our head down
Speaker 4: and then ignore the way we felt about a lot
Speaker 4: of things, which is internal why I think adults, our
Speaker 4: age millennials specifically have the.
Speaker 3: Issues and the anxiety the things that.
Speaker 4: They have now versus now that we've put people on notice, like, Okay,
Speaker 4: maybe there are days that you need a mental health day,
Speaker 4: or you need a day to kind of just relax,
Speaker 4: or maybe you should be.
Speaker 3: Cognizant of how you feel mentally.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, there's I gotta hear I
Speaker 1: gotta hear it.
Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying, but it's just used too
Speaker 2: often acknowledgy days a kid need a mental health day,
Speaker 2: three days a kid don't want to go to school.
Speaker 9: Side that part, but I would not ignore the fact
Speaker 9: that anxiety is a real thing.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not talking about anxiety.
Speaker 2: I'm talking about burnout being considered a type of anxiety.
Speaker 2: It seems like everything now is considered anxiety. If a
Speaker 2: kid is afraid to run the four hundred in track,
Speaker 2: he has anxiety. It's like we clinically diagnose everything everything
Speaker 2: when sometimes I'm just like, yo, get the fucking stick
Speaker 2: out of your ass and try.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: It has to balance.
Speaker 6: No, I agree.
Speaker 9: I think there's a there's a fear, and then there's anxiety,
Speaker 9: and and one of most of those things can be
Speaker 9: fear where kids are scared to do things. And then
Speaker 9: there are some things that are legit anxieties. I know,
Speaker 9: for example, Uh, Victoria early in her life had anxiety
Speaker 9: that we did not understand. I especially didn't understand because
Speaker 9: I don't really have anxiety about certain things. And if
Speaker 9: I do have anxiety, I just I chalk that up
Speaker 9: to just nerves or inexperience or just me just not
Speaker 9: necessarily understanding the gravity of it all. But I had
Speaker 9: to understand that her that she had anxiety, the anxiety
Speaker 9: was real, and learn how to deal and cope and
Speaker 9: teach her and culture through those things. So my only
Speaker 9: point is to the anxiety that yes, I do agree
Speaker 9: that everything in our society we can say, oh, it's anxiety,
Speaker 9: But then there's a certain there's a certain place that
Speaker 9: I had to grow up and be like, maybe I
Speaker 9: should look into this, and I should I should probably
Speaker 9: ignore the fact that I should ignore the tough love
Speaker 9: sentiment when it comes to certain things like that.
Speaker 5: And I will say this on the topic of stats,
Speaker 5: the National Alliance on Mental Health did a poll a
Speaker 5: survey asking people about burnout or their work and their
Speaker 5: mental health, and they shared that sixty sixty two percent
Speaker 5: of employees who reported on the survey feeling uncomfortable about
Speaker 5: sharing about their mental health also reported feeling burned out
Speaker 5: by their jobs.
Speaker 1: So there's a dress.
Speaker 5: They did a survey on ten two thousand people in
Speaker 5: the workforce in the United States.
Speaker 2: I can understand that because the United States is known
Speaker 2: for overworking people in every aspect of But.
Speaker 5: My point is that if you're you're unable to share
Speaker 5: about your mental health because you might feel that anxiety
Speaker 5: is not a real thing, or there's too much anxiety,
Speaker 5: or I'm just feeling something else. I don't want to
Speaker 5: talk about my mental health because you're not gonna believe
Speaker 5: me or it's not real or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're also struggling.
Speaker 5: You might also be challenged because you feel burnt out
Speaker 5: and you're forcing your way through it.
Speaker 2: So this is my thing, similar to what Josh just
Speaker 2: spoke about. When I got to the NFL. You know,
Speaker 2: they have you speak with sometimes sports psychologists or you know,
Speaker 2: you go speak to your sports you play a performance person.
Speaker 2: And I went to speak to him and it was
Speaker 2: just like, man, it sounds like the valle that you
Speaker 2: grew up with, you know, performance anxiety. And when I
Speaker 2: was telling you, and I was just like, what's performance anxiety?
Speaker 2: And it was just like, you know, it's the fear
Speaker 2: to perform in front of people, no D d D.
Speaker 2: And then I was thinking about it, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: there's a clinical name for that.
Speaker 1: Didn't know that.
Speaker 2: So I'm telling people I grew up with performance anxiety,
Speaker 2: but you know how I got through it perform perform realistically.
Speaker 2: Is it really an anxiety or is it a And
Speaker 2: that's my point. This, This dude told me that I
Speaker 2: grew up with performance anxiety and pretty much clinically told
Speaker 2: me this is what it was.
Speaker 1: And this and I was just like, okay, But then
Speaker 1: when I thought about.
Speaker 2: My life, I was like I always was concerned about
Speaker 2: things that I had never done before, and the only
Speaker 2: way I got rid of the fear was by practicing.
Speaker 4: I was about to say that, so it's not even
Speaker 4: really performance anxiety. It's once you feel confident enough to perform,
Speaker 4: then that anxiety goes away because you're prepared.
Speaker 1: But he told me I have performance.
Speaker 9: I guess you can make your way through performance anxiety
Speaker 9: like you can heal yourself of performance anxiety.
Speaker 5: Preparing and performing anxiety isn't always something that is debilitating
Speaker 5: or it takes over your life. When it does take
Speaker 5: over your life, that's when you might need to have
Speaker 5: medication or some form of like talk therapy or E M,
Speaker 5: d R something like that. But if you have a
Speaker 5: general anxiety about something, even if it's no, it's a
Speaker 5: type of therapy.
Speaker 1: Now you don't have anxiety.
Speaker 3: It's a different kind of burned out.
Speaker 5: It is a type of therapy that it's called eye movement,
Speaker 5: desensitization and reprocessing. It's psychotherapy is a technique that helps
Speaker 5: reduce distress associated with disturbing memories.
Speaker 1: They use it a lot for PTSD and anxiety.
Speaker 2: Like when you've dealt with certain traumas that you when
Speaker 2: you have anxiety, that to me is very different than yeah.
Speaker 1: Free to play this game, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: But yeah, so everybody has a level of anxiety. It
Speaker 5: can be a medical issue if it gets to the
Speaker 5: point where it disrupts your everyday life. And if it
Speaker 5: disrupts your every day life, you might go to therapy
Speaker 5: and a therapist might do something called exposure therapy where
Speaker 5: they kind of force you to do the thing that
Speaker 5: you're scared to.
Speaker 1: Do, which is what you just said exactly.
Speaker 5: But if you have a level of anxiety where it's
Speaker 5: disrupting your everyday life, you can't get to that place
Speaker 5: by yourself. So luckily for you, you're able to get
Speaker 5: past your performance anxiety because you can force yourself to
Speaker 5: do the thing that you're scared to do because you
Speaker 5: don't have a level of anxiety that's keeping you from
Speaker 5: doing that thing.
Speaker 2: Copy So, since burnout isn't a clinical diagnosis, if people
Speaker 2: can work through burnout, which is ultimately fatigue, to a
Speaker 2: point where your so fatigue that you start to have
Speaker 2: these symptoms of anxiety, pretty much that's what burnout is.
Speaker 2: Han sleep, physically tired, headaches, you know what I'm saying, exhaustion.
Speaker 1: So that's what burnout is.
Speaker 2: And the reason why I want to separate the two
Speaker 2: is so that when listeners are listening or whoever's watching
Speaker 2: at home, you understand the difference between anxiety and burnout
Speaker 2: and don't just mix because I think that's what happens.
Speaker 2: Everything becomes a kerfuffle, you know what I'm saying. Everything
Speaker 2: now gets put under one thing. And if we're really
Speaker 2: going to have this conversation, I really want people to
Speaker 2: understand the difference.
Speaker 1: Like burnout is not a clinical diagnosis.
Speaker 2: Where you was born with burnout and you tend to
Speaker 2: continuously always get burned out.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Burnout is something you.
Speaker 3: Can and self inflicted most of the time.
Speaker 2: And that's what I want people to understand the difference.
Speaker 2: Anxiety is something like y'all just discussed, you can't control
Speaker 2: over it, but there's ways to work through your anxiety.
Speaker 2: Burnout you have one hundred percent control over it. That's
Speaker 2: why it's not a clinical diagnosis. So we can prevent burnout.
Speaker 4: Right, but you may exhibit thingsts symptoms of right, it's
Speaker 4: almost like googling something on webin dan and it's just like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm about to die because I have
Speaker 4: all the symptoms at the same time, you know, but
Speaker 4: it's easy to kind of get them across.
Speaker 2: I like the separation of the two so people understand
Speaker 2: because people also need to know when you have anxiety,
Speaker 2: which is a clinical diagnosis and need to seek someone,
Speaker 2: as opposed to just thinking I have burnout, And it's
Speaker 2: important for people.
Speaker 1: To know do you have anxiety or are you burnt out?
Speaker 2: And understanding the difference between the two can help people
Speaker 2: go get the help they need.
Speaker 4: At what point do you because I thought this is
Speaker 4: pretty interesting, do you tend to lose some interest in
Speaker 4: your career or like your professional goals because of burnout?
Speaker 4: I feel like I've never seen that with you where
Speaker 4: you're like, Okay, I'm feeling burnt out, but you know,
Speaker 4: I don't think I want to do this acting thing anymore,
Speaker 4: like where it's ever been like a doubt. Do you
Speaker 4: feel like it's just par for the course or do
Speaker 4: you feel like because for me, I can see how
Speaker 4: sometimes the doubt can now kind of trickle in, like
Speaker 4: do I have what it takes. If I can't deal
Speaker 4: with this and I'm burnt out trying to get to
Speaker 4: this goal or this job or this next level, I
Speaker 4: can see how it starts to force someone to question
Speaker 4: whether this is even the right field for them.
Speaker 1: This is how my hand do that. Unless you got something.
Speaker 8: That I was going to say that low key burnout
Speaker 8: help me. I was burnt out doing weddings and I
Speaker 8: had to get out of there, and it helped me
Speaker 8: get further my career because I got tired of doing
Speaker 8: the same old, same, the same old weddings.
Speaker 7: I just got tired of it.
Speaker 2: And you know what it reminds me of though, you
Speaker 2: never wanted to just do weddings, same way I never
Speaker 2: wanted to just be an NFL athlete. When you get
Speaker 2: burnt out doing something you really don't want to do, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like, yo, my body is telling me because with acting,
Speaker 2: I'll get up tired, not tired because I love.
Speaker 3: It, you love it. Yeah, they don't feel like work.
Speaker 1: You're just get burnt out on set one time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think you were also navigating the things
Speaker 4: around the set. It was household stuff. It was a
Speaker 4: bunch of things that yeah, everybody was sick. You were
Speaker 4: physically sick.
Speaker 2: I was physically sick. Yeah, But I think that's also
Speaker 2: important conversation to talk about. Just because you love something,
Speaker 2: don't mean that you're supposed to do it every day
Speaker 2: for eighteen hours. You still got to take care of
Speaker 2: your body, your mind, and your spirit. That's actually a
Speaker 2: good point about because I do love acting, and I
Speaker 2: am the type of person that gets obsessive over things.
Speaker 2: So I'll get up in early in the morning, I'll
Speaker 2: do my readings, then I'll go work out, then I'll
Speaker 2: go do something else.
Speaker 4: But your body's an instrument. Absolutely, if you wanted to
Speaker 4: show up, you when it needs to show up, then
Speaker 4: you guys take care of it too.
Speaker 2: So I got I got my moment of truth when
Speaker 2: she just said that. Appreciate you, Matt, because that was
Speaker 2: a good point though bringing that up.
Speaker 1: That is a good.
Speaker 3: Point, right, It's like, is it burnout or is this
Speaker 3: just part of the time.
Speaker 1: To go that's the point. Is it burnout or I'm
Speaker 1: just over.
Speaker 3: This, right or is it just part of the process
Speaker 3: And you're going to have to find a way to navigate.
Speaker 2: Which goes to what we talked about last time. Which
Speaker 2: was not navigating burnout, but knowing when to what walk away,
Speaker 2: let go go.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It's like, when you realize you're getting burnt out of something,
Speaker 2: it might be time, like Matt say, to let this go.
Speaker 2: And maybe that's a good part, a good way to
Speaker 2: navigate burnout if you notice you're getting burnt out of something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, letting go.
Speaker 1: I got my moment of truth too.
Speaker 3: Well, congratulations.
Speaker 1: I love when you get your little moments of truth together. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. All right, y'all any other tips tricks
Speaker 3: thoughts on now?
Speaker 2: Well, I know Josh was burnt out at one point.
Speaker 2: How did you get through that?
Speaker 9: Bro get I get burnt out probably every September October ish.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's what is season.
Speaker 9: Yeah, so it didn't happen for a really long time.
Speaker 9: I didn't even know what it was when it first
Speaker 9: happened to me back in twenty twenty. No before that,
Speaker 9: I did get burn out of twenty twenty, but that
Speaker 9: was pandemic.
Speaker 1: And that was I think everybody was burned through.
Speaker 9: But for the first time I happened to I got depressed.
Speaker 9: It was just like straight depressing. I'm looking now at
Speaker 9: what I'm doing versus what everyone I was comparing myself
Speaker 9: to everyone else, like damn, this person went on vacation
Speaker 9: and I'm stuck in front of the computer or and
Speaker 9: shit happens a lot, like I'll just be here and
Speaker 9: then I'll pick up this and everyone's else's life is
Speaker 9: pasted like they're enjoying it.
Speaker 1: That's what's wrong with the phone.
Speaker 9: They're enjoying their lives, and I am not enjoying my life,
Speaker 9: not enjoying what I'm doing. And it's it's not a
Speaker 9: situation where I don't enjoy what I'm doing, insaid, I'm
Speaker 9: doing too much of what I'm doing and I don't
Speaker 9: have any balance. And then on top of that, you
Speaker 9: don't have balance.
Speaker 7: With your family.
Speaker 9: Your family feels like they need you, but you're stuck.
Speaker 9: It's almost like there is literally no escape. Which was
Speaker 9: funny because when we talked about what burnout is versus anxiety,
Speaker 9: burnout can be cured. Well, we talked about burnout was
Speaker 9: an option, right, like you can do things to mitigate it.
Speaker 9: But the reality is when you have no options and
Speaker 9: you have to do this task, especially for me, I'm
Speaker 9: going oriented, like.
Speaker 1: You know, I like get your things done.
Speaker 9: So when I don't have any options, I don't see
Speaker 9: like there's an Like there's an option, but the option
Speaker 9: is I won't make the money that I'm making, right, So,
Speaker 9: like you sort of got to find a happy balance.
Speaker 9: And what ends up happening is my product My productivity
Speaker 9: goes down. The quality of what I'm doing dramatically down
Speaker 9: from operating at let's say, at an eighty percent level,
Speaker 9: goes down to like thirty. And then I started missing things.
Speaker 9: Deadline stopped slipping, email stopped slubbling. I remember at one
Speaker 9: point I had to email people in like January February
Speaker 9: to tell to apologize for missing emails that were coming
Speaker 9: in November December. Yes, and I'm like, I'm sorry that
Speaker 9: I did this. I just couldn't get to you because
Speaker 9: I was focused on other things and I really just
Speaker 9: got depressed, like I just couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: You know what you said that really stuck with me, though.
Speaker 2: You said you picked up the phone and you noticed
Speaker 2: that people were enjoying their life, and it made you depressed.
Speaker 2: Comparison is the thief of joy, And the minute you
Speaker 2: start looking at the highlight video of everybody else's life,
Speaker 2: you tricked yourself out of your own joy because I'm
Speaker 2: pretty sure of them people on the phone.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's probably, but they posted that.
Speaker 9: But the thing is that I desire that and then
Speaker 9: it was attainable for me. It's not a situation where
Speaker 9: I'm comparing them because I can't get to that. Yeah,
Speaker 9: I know that I can. You want it, but I
Speaker 9: am burnt out to the point where I can't get
Speaker 9: there because I'm focused on what I'm doing. So it's
Speaker 9: not that I'm not comparing their lives. I'm comparing where
Speaker 9: they are.
Speaker 1: That moment acts.
Speaker 2: But did you see how taking your mind away from
Speaker 2: your goal and focusing on someone else has brought you there?
Speaker 9: It's just, it's just it. It's not directly related to it.
Speaker 9: I'm not doing it because I'm comparing. It's literally the
Speaker 9: season that I'm in.
Speaker 2: It's literally I'm agreeing with you, but I'm saying, do
Speaker 2: you see the fault in that?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is is you feeling depressed. Is the
Speaker 2: symptom of you picking up your phone, not because you
Speaker 2: were looking tom.
Speaker 9: A symptom of the burnout. It's accelerated by comparing. So
Speaker 9: we're on the same page. I'm burnt out, I'm tired
Speaker 9: now I got to see everybody else.
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm saying. My point is is to
Speaker 2: navigate burnout. When you feel like that, the worst thing
Speaker 2: you can do is ever pick up your phone and
Speaker 2: look at social media.
Speaker 1: Because I'm already burnt out. I'm tired. Now I gotta
Speaker 1: go look at this dude here who.
Speaker 2: He's on vacation or he just booked something. And it's like, dang,
Speaker 2: Like the value shouldn't even be focused on that. If
Speaker 2: you're focused on your work, you'll get there. But since
Speaker 2: you're not focused on your work because you burnt out,
Speaker 2: you want to look at social media. Now you get
Speaker 2: a reminder. I understand how you got that, and that
Speaker 2: that I do the same thing. Me and Matt will
Speaker 2: sit here right I feel burnt out, I'm let's go
Speaker 2: watch a movie. I'll go watch a movie. Get there
Speaker 2: and I get teary. Ey, I just want to do that. Bro, Like,
Speaker 2: why I can't get a chance to do that yet?
Speaker 2: And I didn't do that to I didn't watch it
Speaker 2: to escape.
Speaker 3: Happened so many times with us. I'm like, what's the matter.
Speaker 3: He was just like, I just want to do that.
Speaker 1: This be me brody watching it bro and I just
Speaker 1: be like I could do that. I look, I can
Speaker 1: do that. Somebody's not giving me a shot, and they
Speaker 1: k't be like we were supposed to be just enjoying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are you acting like that's I'm realizing now
Speaker 2: that you said that, that is that is freaking burnout.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know crazy.
Speaker 9: On the flip side, there are probably hundreds of other
Speaker 9: people that still would want to take trade your place,
Speaker 9: absolutely right. And my thing is I still haven't figured
Speaker 9: out how to navigate it. I know how to fix burnout.
Speaker 9: I need to just stop doing work. I literally need
Speaker 9: to stop doing work, take a few days, nap, chill, relax,
Speaker 9: get my mind off of this, and completely reset. The
Speaker 9: problem is how do you do that when you have deadlines?
Speaker 6: Deadlines?
Speaker 9: And we talked about it, like thinking that you everything
Speaker 9: is cool, filling up your plate, adding these extra projects
Speaker 9: that you know you want to do, but then like
Speaker 9: I committed to this, I am not going to let
Speaker 9: people my name is on it. I'm Joshua, Like I
Speaker 9: gotta finish this task. So I've realized, like picking opportunities
Speaker 9: make being selective, also warning people ahead of time. Yo,
Speaker 9: I'm doing this for you as a favor. I got
Speaker 9: things that are on the slate. There may be a
Speaker 9: situation that if I can't do this, I will let
Speaker 9: you know. I'll give you ample time. But I'm letting
Speaker 9: you know now like this is secondary to my prime objective.
Speaker 9: And I've done that towards the end of the year,
Speaker 9: letting people know like hey, like I'm adding this thing
Speaker 9: for you.
Speaker 8: But I think it goes to what Deva said before,
Speaker 8: like if you reduce what you're doing or pull back
Speaker 8: a little bit, don't even get to the point of
Speaker 8: burnout money. I feel max, I get that.
Speaker 7: Thousand percent money you can provide when you overloaded.
Speaker 6: And facts that is true.
Speaker 8: Balance how much I'm gonna put on my plate so
Speaker 8: I can still carry it.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's that's a real nigga conversation.
Speaker 2: Don't we as as men be having that conversation like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I feel you gotta make money, but dude, you can
Speaker 2: make money right now.
Speaker 1: We had this conversation with Jay.
Speaker 9: You know what I've realized over the years and what
Speaker 9: has benefit me is delegating that is yes, it is.
Speaker 9: It is prime. I've had an assistant, I've had an assistant.
Speaker 9: Three times in my career where I've had like personal
Speaker 9: assistance where they have done tasks for me that I
Speaker 9: can't do. You know what I'm most burnt out. It's
Speaker 9: when I don't have the assistant. That's when I'm most
Speaker 9: burnt out because I don't have people to take the
Speaker 9: extra task.
Speaker 6: And you know, delegate.
Speaker 3: Delegated, that's my thing be to delegate has seen.
Speaker 1: Matt was outside. We gotta finish working out.
Speaker 2: Jay had hurt his leg, right, so me and Matt
Speaker 2: was like, dude, do you ever rests like bro, I
Speaker 2: mean the gym this many hours, I'm doing this and
Speaker 2: I'm doing that. And I said, now, look, now you
Speaker 2: can't go to the gym for a week.
Speaker 1: He was like, so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you got an extra day in and now
Speaker 2: you miss a week. It's the same thing, right, I
Speaker 2: got to make this money, but now you lose the
Speaker 2: money because since he can't go to the gym, he
Speaker 2: can't take clients. And I'm like, you missed a week
Speaker 2: worth of work and he was just like, I ain't
Speaker 2: see that. You says up to those two when people
Speaker 2: don't have a plan and they're not thinking about longevity
Speaker 2: and they only think about instant gratification. That's when mistakes happen.
Speaker 2: That's so someone burnout happened. Seriously, it's like, I got
Speaker 2: to get this done now and before you know it.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been there so many times. I've been
Speaker 2: there so many times. It's like hearing other people's stories
Speaker 2: really make me realize, Like, shit, I've done the same thing, Josh.
Speaker 2: You know how many times I said like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're gonna put seven podcasts on the week, and then
Speaker 2: at the end of that week, I be fucked up
Speaker 2: in here and.
Speaker 4: The recovery time is longer, like we be needing like
Speaker 4: three days.
Speaker 3: You want to do this back on track.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, damn, Like I should have just took
Speaker 2: the minute. And I mean we did kind of do
Speaker 2: that a little bit like the end of last year.
Speaker 3: Oh we knew by then we were just months off.
Speaker 2: Like I didn't I didn't do nothing. I didn't take
Speaker 2: no gigs. I travel with her wherever she was going,
Speaker 2: and it felt good. I ain't gonna lie now. I
Speaker 2: didn't make as much money in the last five months
Speaker 2: as I would have liked to make, but I'm also
Speaker 2: not starting.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying like, at some point you
Speaker 2: got to decide you want to make the money or
Speaker 2: you want to live, and then gigs, gigs come here
Speaker 2: when they miss you a little bit, that's when they come.
Speaker 3: Did y'all miss us a little bit? Miss I know
Speaker 3: you missed it?
Speaker 4: All right, y'all, I guess let's go pay some bills
Speaker 4: and we're going to come back into listening letters. So
Speaker 4: stick around, all right, y'all, we're back with listening letters.
Speaker 4: Let's just jump right in, all right. I love listening
Speaker 4: to y'all and appreciate the growth over the years.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I'm seeing a wonderful guy who's been a real gentleman
Speaker 4: and patient with me. He was just he was just
Speaker 4: some months out of a serious, long term relationship when
Speaker 4: we met. He didn't get intimate until over a year
Speaker 4: after we met. I'm forty plus, I was a virgin
Speaker 4: when we met, so he's my first. Well, congratulations, you
Speaker 4: pop the cork.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: The thing is, I'm ready to be working towards a relationship,
Speaker 4: but he's taking his time. Initially, it was fine because
Speaker 4: I've had to learn to slow down and just enjoy
Speaker 4: being with someone I like. I used to be anxious
Speaker 4: in relationships, but as I've worked on myself through therapy, etc.
Speaker 1: Etc.
Speaker 4: I'm more secure now. And though I'm not rushing, I'm
Speaker 4: also not willing to be single for another year. We
Speaker 4: like each other a lot, but I'm scared that I
Speaker 4: might end up five years later in the same status.
Speaker 4: We're both not seeing anyone at the moment, but he
Speaker 4: isn't ready to be exclusive. I'm open to meeting other
Speaker 4: people and have tried, but nothing. No one has happened yet.
Speaker 4: Would appreciate some advice as I navigate this. All right,
Speaker 4: So forty plus virgin when you met now he's your first.
Speaker 4: So is it that you're going for the gusto now?
Speaker 4: Because it's like, listen, I just I just gave it
Speaker 4: up after forty plus years, Like.
Speaker 1: Well, Tom, this is it? Tim is ticket?
Speaker 3: This is it?
Speaker 7: Like?
Speaker 4: If we be honest, and if he's coming a couple
Speaker 4: months out of a serious long term relationship, then he's
Speaker 4: probably not wanting to get back into another potentially serious
Speaker 4: long term relationship. Was this a conversation that we had
Speaker 4: before y'all were intimate? Does he want to be in
Speaker 4: another long term, serious relationship? Like I'm curious to know
Speaker 4: if that conversation was had, because if you both were
Speaker 4: going into it with different viewpoints, different intentions, then that
Speaker 4: could potentially be a problem.
Speaker 1: What you think, babe, I understand where she's coming from.
Speaker 2: She's forty plus and she's probably like, Yo, I gave
Speaker 2: this man my body. If you've waited that long and
Speaker 2: you finally give this man your bodies, like, I want
Speaker 2: to see what's next. I understand that the only problem
Speaker 2: with that is that's not how life works. Because you're
Speaker 2: ready don't mean that you get to rush somebody. And
Speaker 2: so often we hear from people in relationships one is
Speaker 2: ready to do something and one is not right. And
Speaker 2: at first I thought it was just oh yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: I thought it was we're going to get a bunch
Speaker 2: of women who were just like I'm ready, I'm ready,
Speaker 2: I'm ready to men like I'm not ready.
Speaker 1: But we're seen over the past couple of years they'd
Speaker 1: be dudes.
Speaker 2: They'd be like, yeah, I'm ready for her and she
Speaker 2: So I'm starting to realize that, yo, people want things
Speaker 2: on their own time, right, Asking someone else for advice
Speaker 2: on how you should navigate that person is probably the
Speaker 2: wrong thing. Speak to that person directly and say, hey,
Speaker 2: this is what I'm looking towards, this is what I'm
Speaker 2: looking forward to, this is what I think my timeline
Speaker 2: is going to be. How does that work with you?
Speaker 2: And then when they tell you listen to them. Don't
Speaker 2: listen to them with the intent to change their mind
Speaker 2: to get on your plan.
Speaker 1: Listen to them and then listen to them.
Speaker 2: If he says, well, I've been in a relationship for
Speaker 2: a long time, I'm not really you already know he's
Speaker 2: not looking to get into a relationship, and if you are,
Speaker 2: now it's time to start making some decisions about what
Speaker 2: you want for yourself. This is why when people ask
Speaker 2: me and send me dms yo, my man or my
Speaker 2: girl is doing this what you think I'm like? Don't
Speaker 2: ask me, ask yourself and ask that person. Once you
Speaker 2: get the information, use discernment to choose yse. There's no
Speaker 2: advice we can give you other than speak to him directly.
Speaker 4: When I heard you say, I thought I thought you
Speaker 4: were going to say. When people say oh, well, I thought, well,
Speaker 4: I thought, because to me, the I thoughts become the
Speaker 4: thief of clarity, like you thought. But was that what
Speaker 4: the person said, right? So to piggyback off of what
Speaker 4: you said. Yeah, the conversation, if it hasn't been had already,
Speaker 4: I think is something that needs to be had, or
Speaker 4: maybe should have been had prior to you becoming intimate,
Speaker 4: because I can imagine how after waiting so many years
Speaker 4: to finally then you know, share that with someone you
Speaker 4: want to now take this seriously and know where this
Speaker 4: is going to go.
Speaker 2: What you said, I think is the point. What you
Speaker 2: just said, though, don't tell somebody what you thought. If
Speaker 2: they haven't told you what they want, or if they
Speaker 2: have told you, don't tell them what you thought they
Speaker 2: told you.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So it's like, and if you haven't had the conversation
Speaker 2: and they haven't told you, don't say you thought. That
Speaker 2: means you created a narrative in your mind, your own mind,
Speaker 2: which is a mistake. So you shouldn't be thinking. If
Speaker 2: you have somebody, ask them when they tell you listen.
Speaker 1: So I like that point.
Speaker 4: I love that anybody else got two cents for our
Speaker 4: listening letter today?
Speaker 1: I do. I was hoping I was hoping you to
Speaker 1: ask about to let this nigga have it. Watch.
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'm just like, if you are forty plus,
Speaker 5: you are a virgin, why you let this man take
Speaker 5: your virginity? If you wait that long, you might as
Speaker 5: well wait till you get the ring?
Speaker 2: You know just what you want. You just said life
Speaker 2: is short, you gotta have joy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, speak the vibrator is just as good, if
Speaker 5: not better.
Speaker 1: It's not you know what I'm saying. It's really not.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not.
Speaker 5: She didn't know, so she should have just waited till
Speaker 5: she got the ring. And I say, you know, you
Speaker 5: fucking now you might as well, you know, busted wide open?
Speaker 1: Then don't get you another I know for real.
Speaker 2: I do feel you though, because I am wondering though,
Speaker 2: if you forty plus, why wait to give it up now?
Speaker 1: If you're not married? That is a good question.
Speaker 4: Maybe yeah, maybe she's like, he is the one, but
Speaker 4: does he know he is the one.
Speaker 1: I think she wants to be the one. I agree.
Speaker 1: She was like, yolo, I ain't getting no younger.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, and not for nothing. My perspective has
Speaker 2: changed after we had that conversation. You are forty plus?
Speaker 2: What am I waiting for?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3: Is it a badge? Of honor still to like be
Speaker 3: a virgin at that age. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think I think virtue has changed for men and
Speaker 2: women back in the day, Like you know the Stone ages.
Speaker 2: I need me a wife that's a virgin that I
Speaker 2: can you know, consecrate this marriage and claim it's my own.
Speaker 2: It's like nobody he talks like that, consecrate con either way.
Speaker 9: I know I didn't do it, brave heart.
Speaker 3: It was test driving before we need the fact period.
Speaker 2: But I do think that's not it's not the same. Like,
Speaker 2: no one, no one is going to be like, are
Speaker 2: you a vision? No, Like that's it's twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: So the virtue of being a virgin no more, no
Speaker 2: longer exists like it did in medieval times when you
Speaker 2: had the night a sword and you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So this may just be me because we live in
Speaker 2: a different world. But I just don't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I know, I have no
Speaker 1: apple about virginity's no more. You meet a woman, she's
Speaker 1: not a virgin. You probably not a virgin, ey the nigga.
Speaker 5: So they also say women's sexuality peaks in their forties,
Speaker 5: and so there's a lot of forty plus yr old
Speaker 5: hot girls out here that maybe their kids are finally
Speaker 5: out the house or true going through their first divorce.
Speaker 5: They out at the clubs, they out at the jazz lounges.
Speaker 3: They're mingling, they're on hinge yes, baby, they're friends.
Speaker 1: That's out here going.
Speaker 4: Because there's no judgment at forty forties, you're like whatever,
Speaker 4: it's this, like, go do you congratulations?
Speaker 1: Where you want to hear some crazy women here? Something crazy?
Speaker 2: Those women be the women that the young women be
Speaker 2: pissed about, because the young dudes who don't got nothing
Speaker 2: be sleeping with the cougars, and the younger women be
Speaker 2: like and be like, oh, you're out there sucking these cougars,
Speaker 2: and now this this is why niggas won't settle down.
Speaker 1: And then those women be mad at men.
Speaker 2: Well, you realistically should be mad at the forty year
Speaker 2: old virgin that just decided she would to bust open,
Speaker 2: because you know what, Look who's right back there shaking
Speaker 2: his head because he in his twenties.
Speaker 3: And he no, I'm not leave him alone.
Speaker 1: The old women be busting it.
Speaker 2: And not only do they be busting it, they be
Speaker 2: spinning that bread too. So imagine you are twenty year
Speaker 2: old and the thing is.
Speaker 4: How rolls later in the Four Seasons Hotel, No, it
Speaker 4: would a forty something year old woman.
Speaker 3: If I was single, I too.
Speaker 1: If you were single, what you yourself?
Speaker 2: I thought we was never not going to be together
Speaker 2: sudden if she was single single, I'll be You want
Speaker 2: me to sit there for?
Speaker 3: That was ever after we said that we could speak hypothetically.
Speaker 1: No, we didn't.
Speaker 2: When did we say that?
Speaker 4: Past episode the hypop my forty year old friends, my
Speaker 4: forty year old friends.
Speaker 3: As I'm trying to talk my I'm trying to talk
Speaker 3: my cars in my socks.
Speaker 9: You can't get your compression compression exactly what it is.
Speaker 3: I mean, he's not quite impression, but you know. But no,
Speaker 3: but I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 3: I'm saying I get it. Girls, I get that, and
Speaker 3: I am getting got it.
Speaker 1: I don't see nothing wrong with that. Don't you have
Speaker 1: a good time?
Speaker 3: It's not about have a good at a time? Life
Speaker 3: is sure.
Speaker 5: She has been fucking this whole time. Imagine how great
Speaker 5: the rest of her life is. She's been focused on
Speaker 5: her career. Her apartment is clean as hell. You know,
Speaker 5: she got eight hundred credit score as audio version.
Speaker 1: You know she disciplined.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you probably like and all that.
Speaker 1: A twenty year old.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he gonna come in there strapping, ain't got nothing
Speaker 2: to do but sit on her couch and bless her
Speaker 2: every time she come in the house, and she ain't
Speaker 2: gonna know what to do with her life.
Speaker 1: That's what's gonna happen.
Speaker 4: So maybe you need to wait for mister real gentleman
Speaker 4: who's been patient with you, says the options are gonna
Speaker 4: get in.
Speaker 2: Get in, bro seriously, yo, the young girls were doing
Speaker 2: it for a minute. I'm gonna find me a young
Speaker 2: old dude who never had money now now got money, money,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna let him splurge on me, take me
Speaker 2: on some yachts, not gonna marry him, might not even
Speaker 2: sleep with them, because a lot of these dudes be suckers.
Speaker 2: I'll be seeing a lot of dudes that be getting
Speaker 2: god like you spent how much money you're shorty, and
Speaker 2: you not even smash.
Speaker 8: It so she could smile at you, and then she'd
Speaker 8: be with somebody else.
Speaker 2: This happening in the old heads. That's why I'm happy
Speaker 2: I got married. Nobody bamboozing me but me. I spend
Speaker 2: this money, I'm getting smash.
Speaker 1: I'm smash.
Speaker 3: Period. That's a fact that your wife.
Speaker 1: You heard that, Matt.
Speaker 3: That's a fact.
Speaker 1: What it is.
Speaker 3: And everything is fine over here.
Speaker 1: But she's like, I think for some advice, I ain't
Speaker 1: telling me to be a whole.
Speaker 3: It went far left for you, for far left, you know.
Speaker 1: But when we got a lot of triple do got
Speaker 1: some points though.
Speaker 2: We waited this long and you let it go and
Speaker 2: now he's not ready what you're supposed to do. Now
Speaker 2: you can't put it back in the box. You can't
Speaker 2: put the box in your box. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: don't listen to us.
Speaker 1: Don't listen.
Speaker 2: Listen stay disciplined your husband, because that's what you want.
Speaker 1: Don't listen to us. We wow right now?
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, we love you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: We appreciate you being sticking around with us for the years. Okay,
Speaker 4: if you want to be featured as a listener letter,
Speaker 4: be sure to email us at the Elis Advice at
Speaker 4: gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: That is th H E E L L I S
Speaker 2: A d V I see eat at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4: So time for moment of truth. We're talking about navigating
Speaker 4: burnouts and all things associated. You were excited about your
Speaker 4: moment of truth, So do you want to lead us
Speaker 4: into that segment?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes.
Speaker 2: The very first thing I want to say shout out
Speaker 2: to Josh, thank you for making us talk about the
Speaker 2: difference between burnout and anxiety. First of all, shout out
Speaker 2: to Trouble for making us talk about the difference between
Speaker 2: burnout and anxiety. But Josh, thank you for pointing out
Speaker 2: the fact that sometimes you get burnt out and then
Speaker 2: you want an escape, and your escape could lead to
Speaker 2: more burnout.
Speaker 1: When you said that, I was like, Hey, that.
Speaker 2: The fucking truth because I've done that so many times,
Speaker 2: and in order to navigate burnout, my moment of truth
Speaker 2: is stay focused on the task until it's completed, and
Speaker 2: then when the task is completed, don't rush to another task.
Speaker 2: Sit in it for a minute, yeah, and just enjoy
Speaker 2: the fact that you completed the task. That's how you
Speaker 2: and my moment of truth is to avoid burnout.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 4: I think mine has to do more with taking care
Speaker 4: of self because I realized how sensitive. And I don't
Speaker 4: know if it's like a forty something thing now or what,
Speaker 4: but I feel like my body is super sensitive to stress,
Speaker 4: lack of sleep, not drinking of water, like not taking
Speaker 4: time for myself, and it manifests itself in different things,
Speaker 4: like the other day, I was saying, damn, I don't
Speaker 4: feel right. This was like two or three days ago,
Speaker 4: just came off of filming. So that was one kind
Speaker 4: of decompression that I was trying to do, right, just
Speaker 4: trying to reacclimate with life and the kids and Deval.
Speaker 4: And Deval was like, I know you're gonna need a
Speaker 4: couple of days. Take a couple of days, and.
Speaker 2: Of course this is important and scary, so really like
Speaker 2: this important.
Speaker 4: So then there's that component of it being just like
Speaker 4: lack of sleep out of my regimen.
Speaker 3: I wasn't working out for two weeks.
Speaker 4: I was eating maybe two meals a day, so I
Speaker 4: really was not taking care of myself while I was working.
Speaker 4: And then of course on flow the minute I rat
Speaker 4: to come tap dancing on my head. You know, she
Speaker 4: rains on every parade, right, so that's happening. At the
Speaker 4: same time, she's a little bitch, she a little bit,
Speaker 4: but so that was happening also. And I remember saying
Speaker 4: that day, I don't know what's wrong. But something is wrong.
Speaker 4: And I kept saying, I don't feel right, something doesn't
Speaker 4: feel right, and I thought maybe it was a bit
Speaker 4: of anxiety. I said, maybe I'm going through like withdrawals
Speaker 4: from filming because I was having such a good time.
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I now in a city of depression
Speaker 3: because I enjoyed working? Like what is happening?
Speaker 4: Then I get this massive headache on one side of
Speaker 4: my head and I'm like, Okay, maybe I'm dehydrated because
Speaker 4: I haven't been drinking my gallon of water a day.
Speaker 2: And this is why it's important to know your partner.
Speaker 2: Because I looked in her eyes. Her eyes were super
Speaker 2: super low and glossy, and the tent wasn't white like
Speaker 2: she had like a slightly yellowish tent eyes.
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, something is wrong with right.
Speaker 4: And then I'm laying here with him on this I'm
Speaker 4: actually sitting behind him on this couch. And then I
Speaker 4: just start to feel really nauseous and I'm like and
Speaker 4: I was like, the last time I felt something kind
Speaker 4: of like this was when I had the postpartun pre
Speaker 4: plansha with Dakota and something to say, check your blood pressure.
Speaker 3: I went to check my blood pressure. My blood pressure was.
Speaker 4: One forty two over one hundred, which is wild high,
Speaker 4: wold high for me. I'm like, your classic, like one
Speaker 4: eighteen over sixty eight kind of girl. So for my
Speaker 4: blood pressure to be that high, and all I'm thinking
Speaker 4: to myself is like, I haven't done anything that would
Speaker 4: warrant a high blood pressure right now, aside from the
Speaker 4: heavy period drinking. I was, yeah, I've just been doing
Speaker 4: all the things. So I took my blood pressure. I
Speaker 4: called my sister, of course, because now that she's a
Speaker 4: nurse practitioner, she know a lot more about the whole
Speaker 4: medical feeling. I'm like, she's going through like the motions
Speaker 4: in her head, like we're checking the boxes of the
Speaker 4: things that can or can't be And she's just like,
Speaker 4: all right, take two tile and all, get some hydration in,
Speaker 4: eat a meal. If the headache doesn't subside, then I
Speaker 4: think you should go to the er.
Speaker 3: So I don't take it serious.
Speaker 1: From the minute she told me her blood pressure, I was.
Speaker 4: Just like, yo, go, So I tried not to panic
Speaker 4: because I think that's gonna make it worse. So I
Speaker 4: ended up taking the tilenol, had something to eat.
Speaker 2: She did tell you too, we took the blood pressure.
Speaker 2: Then she took it again on the same arm and
Speaker 2: it went up. It was at like one oh six.
Speaker 2: And then she said, don't take your blood pressure on
Speaker 2: the same arm twice. This is important for people to
Speaker 2: know because once it's squeezed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it gets stretchedls.
Speaker 2: Then when you try to take it again, it's automatically
Speaker 2: going to be high. So she switched arms and took
Speaker 2: it again and it was below one hundred, which is
Speaker 2: why we didn't go to the hospital. I think that's
Speaker 2: important till somebody at home has it and they keep
Speaker 2: taking their blood pressure. If they know what is getting high,
Speaker 2: it's because you're taking that in the same arm.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, So this arm was a bit lower.
Speaker 4: It was like one point thirty something over like ninety seven,
Speaker 4: which is still high, but it was better, right, So
Speaker 4: I took the tilenol, hydrated all of that stuff. Didn't
Speaker 4: want to take a nap because I just feel like
Speaker 4: when you don't feel well, I feel like taking a nap.
Speaker 4: You just don't want to sleep. So I stayed up
Speaker 4: and everything the headache subsided. So she said that was
Speaker 4: a good sign. And I just realized, like I just
Speaker 4: in those two weeks probably burnt myself out to an
Speaker 4: extent and didn't even realize it because I was on
Speaker 4: such a high from the adrenaline and everything happening and
Speaker 4: being in a happy place that my body was literally
Speaker 4: telling me, bitch, get the fuck back it together, like.
Speaker 3: My body was in shock.
Speaker 4: So to tie in my moment and truth with that
Speaker 4: quick story is to say, listen, when you.
Speaker 2: Was added somebody, you know how she always said my
Speaker 2: stories be long.
Speaker 1: Nobody going to tell her that her story was long
Speaker 1: or it's only me trouble, but you don't.
Speaker 3: The story to say. I won't say quick. I said.
Speaker 4: I sorry to say, listen to your body, because your
Speaker 4: body is it's all you have. It's the only one
Speaker 4: you got, so you got to take care of it.
Speaker 3: Burnout or not.
Speaker 4: You're only going to be able to perform and show
Speaker 4: up as yourself if you're taking care of yourself.
Speaker 1: Facts.
Speaker 7: I got one.
Speaker 8: Let's NBA players, This is not for you, but load
Speaker 8: management is important.
Speaker 2: Facts that nobody went by them, fucking little management. We
Speaker 2: played all this money for these tickets.
Speaker 3: Period.
Speaker 1: I'm pissed running ahead, Josh.
Speaker 6: All right, So my moment of the truth is, uh,
Speaker 6: burn me out once. Shame on me. No, shame on you. Yeah,
Speaker 6: burn me out twice, shame on me.
Speaker 7: Why shame on you?
Speaker 9: Because I know better at the first time. Yes, And
Speaker 9: one thing you did tell me you you always tell me. Actually, like, yo, bro,
Speaker 9: if you need to take a break, let me know.
Speaker 9: I'm holding that card in my back pocket. Though into
Speaker 9: like I really, really really.
Speaker 1: Josh on everything though we know when you need that
Speaker 1: though real talk I got you don't.
Speaker 3: No, that's necessary.
Speaker 1: That's the worst thing I want to hear.
Speaker 2: You know what's on the rise in America heart talks
Speaker 2: the people between twenty and thirty.
Speaker 3: That's why the blood pressure for me was a thing.
Speaker 1: I'm like on the rise, I got.
Speaker 2: The last thing I want to ever hear is I'd
Speaker 2: rather hear Josh say y'all need a break, rather than
Speaker 2: getting a call from Anika saying, hey, Josh in the
Speaker 2: hospital he had a stroke. Yeah, I don't ever want
Speaker 2: to hear that. Why all about working out all the time,
Speaker 2: because that helps. That's the reason why.
Speaker 8: That's why I started working out. I had a high
Speaker 8: blood russure randomly, I think I don't remember exact number,
Speaker 8: but it was near like one forty over. I remember
Speaker 8: the number, looked at it my wife.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not a thirty three months.
Speaker 2: Stylistic is the top right high one. If you around,
Speaker 2: anything between one ten and one twenty is considered normal.
Speaker 2: That lower number should be anywhere between US sixties eighty
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like near ninety or NAR one hundred something.
Speaker 2: When she had postpartum pre clamshaw, she was two hundred
Speaker 2: over something and they said, if she would have went
Speaker 2: to sleep, you would have woke up and your wife
Speaker 2: would have either been staring at you because she had
Speaker 2: a stroke and can't talk, or you would have woke
Speaker 2: up and your wife wouldn't have been here no more.
Speaker 2: That's what the nurse to him, because I asked herself,
Speaker 2: why does my wife need to be admitted? And she
Speaker 2: explained to me that high blood pressure leads to stroke
Speaker 2: and we all got to be better with that.
Speaker 1: I know you young over there.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say your name, but I don't
Speaker 2: care if you in your twenties, bro, we got to
Speaker 2: be working out and eating right.
Speaker 1: So your moment of truth, though.
Speaker 3: Keep a blood pressure.
Speaker 1: I like that, Yeah, like that. My moment of truth
Speaker 1: is be careful.
Speaker 5: I guess when you're first starting out something, when you're
Speaker 5: excited to do it, still, just pay attention to how
Speaker 5: much you take on because you won't be able to
Speaker 5: sustain that forever.
Speaker 1: That is a good When you like something, you tend
Speaker 1: to like. You know, it's like I like this, and today.
Speaker 8: I was going to when he was talking, I was thinking,
Speaker 8: it's like, it's similar to like overeating. You just feel yeah,
Speaker 8: I know as much as I love this.
Speaker 1: That is a good point.
Speaker 6: Read too much of anything is.
Speaker 3: Hashtag ration.
Speaker 1: That ass like scratch was.
Speaker 4: Tell that to Miss forty plus former virgin ration that okay, okay, period,
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Speaker 3: Elis ever After. I'm deval Oh, I'm Kadeen, I am.
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Speaker 6: I am Josha Duyne, s j O, s h u
Speaker 6: A Underscore d.
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Speaker 5: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Speaker 5: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production
Speaker 5: by Joshua Dwane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan Rowe.
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