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Speaker 1: SoundBite.

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Speaker 2: What I'm about to say may surprise you, but it

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Speaker 2: is very possible to get burnt out even doing the

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Speaker 2: things you love to do.

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Speaker 3: Very interesting take.

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Speaker 4: That's why Me with Me Burnout is synonymous with book

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Speaker 4: that flight and get the fuck out.

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Speaker 1: Of here.

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Speaker 3: In a bikini.

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Speaker 4: You see the bees, the bees keep rolling, Baby burnout

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Speaker 4: on the beach.

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Speaker 1: I'll let you have it.

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Speaker 2: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight

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Speaker 2: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become

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Speaker 2: Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times best selling authors.

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Speaker 3: That ass was more than a podcast for us. It

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Speaker 3: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: Be raw, or but most apportly be us.

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Speaker 4: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we,

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Speaker 4: and through it all, one thing has never changed.

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Speaker 5: This is.

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Speaker 3: You got a lot to talk about story time.

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Speaker 2: Story time, So I'm gonna tell you all about a

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Speaker 2: burnout opportunity.

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Speaker 1: Well, not burnout, that's not even an opportunity.

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Speaker 2: A burned out time in my life where I didn't

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Speaker 2: even know I was getting burned out until I was

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Speaker 2: burnt out.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know, I'm an athlete. I love sports. I love basketball.

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Speaker 2: I like football. I don't love football. I liked football,

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Speaker 2: but I did love to play it. When I was

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Speaker 2: playing and going into my fourth season in the NFL,

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Speaker 2: I had just signed with the Browns and they had

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Speaker 2: fired Romeo Cornell. They brought in Eric Mangini, and I

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Speaker 2: was going to practice every day doing what I had

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Speaker 2: to do, doing my lists and stuff like that. And

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Speaker 2: then they started bringing in some other rookies and some

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Speaker 2: other people, and before I knew it, I realized that

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to be here no more like before.

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Speaker 2: It was happening before my eyes, but I didn't realize it.

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Speaker 2: And I started to realize it. When you know me,

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Speaker 2: in ten years of football that you've been a part of,

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Speaker 2: have I been late to a meeting?

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Speaker 5: Not one?

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Speaker 1: Have I ever been late to workouts?

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Speaker 3: Not I ever missed in life? Not one.

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Speaker 2: So I remember going OTAs Monday, walking into meetings. I'm

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Speaker 2: three minutes late. Coaches like the Value late. It was

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Speaker 2: like my full coach Tuesday, come in there and fall asleep,

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Speaker 2: like the Val if you sleep and you might want

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Speaker 2: to just step out. Then I got up and just

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Speaker 2: walked out. And it was in that moment that I realized, like, Yo,

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Speaker 2: I'm fucking burnt out, like I'm over this.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to do it no more.

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't want to do it no more.

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Speaker 2: And when they called me right before we went back

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Speaker 2: to camp and they were like, hey, Devo, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: let you go. We're gonna sign some draft picks, I

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Speaker 2: just said okay and hung up the phone.

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Speaker 1: Got need a dissertation. I didn't.

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Speaker 2: And in that moment, now that I look back on it,

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Speaker 2: I realized that I was burnt out. Like I went

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Speaker 2: from being a walk a free agent, no, a walk

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Speaker 2: onege having to always prove myself every day, and the

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Speaker 2: free agent in the NFL having to proved myself every day,

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Speaker 2: even though it was doing something I love.

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Speaker 3: I was fucking over it, and you were tired of

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Speaker 3: having to prove yourself. Yes, I get it. I was

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Speaker 3: surprised when that happened. But here we are.

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Speaker 1: It happens now. For karaoke.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna let Key sing the song because I don't

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Speaker 2: know the words. I'm just being honest, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 3: I have no I kid the words.

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Speaker 1: I know that I know the first the six words.

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Speaker 3: When you feel it in me. Nobody who make you

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Speaker 3: change your ways? Like with your crew?

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Speaker 4: Will you act like you're ready, but you don't really know?

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Speaker 4: And everything in the past, you want to let it

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Speaker 4: go in the done it after all that, This is

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Speaker 4: what I found. Nobody wants to be alone. If you

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Speaker 4: touched by the words in the song, and baby.

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Speaker 1: You got it that's wrong song. We got trouble.

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Speaker 6: That's the wrong.

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Speaker 1: So that's not let it burn. You got it bad? Well,

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Speaker 1: you know who got it bad? We got it bad, bad, bad?

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Speaker 6: Yo?

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Speaker 3: How did we get there?

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Speaker 1: We always there's supposed to be let it burn. It

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Speaker 1: was supposed to.

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Speaker 3: Be let it burn.

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Speaker 4: H shoot, no doubt that's what you got it mad? No, no, no, no, no, nobody,

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Speaker 4: Now we have to be starry.

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Speaker 3: Why are we all drawing a blank right now? It's

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Speaker 3: because we're all.

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Speaker 2: You got it bad, that's let it burn, lett it

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Speaker 2: burn ley.

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Speaker 4: You know it's bad for yourself, but you, in the

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Speaker 4: thought of a thing with someone else, say.

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Speaker 3: You know that it's over letty bird. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: guess that does apply. And that's why we wanted to

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Speaker 3: sing that song.

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Speaker 1: We got to it. We got to it all. We

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Speaker 1: took a turn. It was the wrong way.

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Speaker 4: That's the first time that's happened in karaoke that we

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Speaker 4: sang the entire first verse into the wrong as chorus.

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Speaker 4: You know what it was to we were over here,

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Speaker 4: just our mind was blown because the video went out

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Speaker 4: recently of USh.

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Speaker 3: You're saying, who's in the streets, not cruising the streets?

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Speaker 3: We all know and I thought we knew that. It

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Speaker 3: was seven o'clock on the dot.

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Speaker 1: He's in his drop top cruising the streets.

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Speaker 3: He said, who's in the streets? Baby?

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Speaker 2: I got a real pretty pretty it's about sitting next me.

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Speaker 3: I mean, now it's a whole Usher concerts is.

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Speaker 1: Here in the building. What you expect?

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Speaker 4: Even more reason why we should have known what the

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Speaker 4: damn soul was. That's hilarious that that happened. All right, Well,

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Speaker 4: clearly we need to take a break. We need to reconvene,

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Speaker 4: get our ship together, and then we'll be back to

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Speaker 4: talk more about navigating burnout.

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Speaker 3: Stick around, y'all, and we're back, and we're back, guys.

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Speaker 1: My favorite part of the show.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, do you want to touch based on story

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Speaker 4: time real quick or we'll get into that in the

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Speaker 4: meat of the show.

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Speaker 3: Let's do let's do perfect triple. Is your time to shine?

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Speaker 7: John.

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Speaker 5: Since we're talking about work today, I figured I would

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Speaker 5: talk about an actor since we got two actors amongst us.

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Speaker 5: I'm talking about me and the voices in my head.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Will Smith?

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Speaker 5: Though he has an album coming out, he's a rapper again,

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Speaker 5: which is.

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Speaker 1: Put him in a box. He started that way, don't

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Speaker 1: put him in a box.

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Speaker 5: I guess if you slap somebody on live TV, you

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Speaker 5: gotta come out with a roar.

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Speaker 2: He is spiritual, He's in a different place. He's not the

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Speaker 2: same person anymore. You want Wilson to come out with

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Speaker 2: a game, It's not gonna happen, but I would buy it.

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Speaker 5: Though he's been on a promo tour promoting his album,

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Speaker 5: his upcoming album, and he went on a streamers platform recently,

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Speaker 5: and this specific streamer asked him to name his Mount

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Speaker 5: Rushmore of actors top four actors of all time, and

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Speaker 5: the first actor he named was himself. Of course, he

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Speaker 5: said he got to put hisself on there. But the

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Speaker 5: other three he named were Denzel Washington.

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Speaker 2: I get that, Daniel da Lewis, I get that, and

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Speaker 2: Marlon Brando.

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Speaker 8: Why he said it though I can understand he's older

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Speaker 8: people Revere the Godfather, So I can't understand why he said.

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Speaker 1: I get it.

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Speaker 3: I have no.

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Speaker 1: I have no. That's his list. I have no.

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Speaker 3: Well, who's on your Mount Rush?

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Speaker 1: Who's on my Mount rushmore?

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Speaker 2: Wowut If I start with commercial success and also want

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Speaker 2: to Oscar, I would have to start with will Smith,

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Speaker 2: Like he's box office Willie. Nobody else has done in

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Speaker 2: the movie space what he's done. If I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: art films and range and the ability to play a

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Speaker 2: bunch of different characters and just be great, like I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go with Denzel Washington. My favorite actor of all

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Speaker 2: times everybody knows is Wesley Snipes. He pretty much created

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Speaker 2: the Marvel universe. He's played everything from Chu Wang Fuo

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Speaker 2: to What's the Other when White Man can't Jump play Blade.

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Speaker 1: Like New Jack City. There's no role that he hasn't played.

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Speaker 2: He played a baseball player in major leagues, like Wesley

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Speaker 2: Snipe has done everything. And if I have to go

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Speaker 2: with one more man we're talking about range, and we're

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Speaker 2: talking about commercial success and the ability to do everything,

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Speaker 2: it will be a toss up between Samuel l and.

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Speaker 1: Lawrence Fishburn. Be honest, I like to keep it black.

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Speaker 2: But Daniel day Lewis, Tom Hanks, uh, Leonardo DiCaprio, Like,

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Speaker 2: if I'm being honest and not keeping it black, you

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Speaker 2: can't have a Mount Rushmore without Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel day Lewis,

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Speaker 2: and Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks is the only actor ever

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Speaker 2: to win two Oscars back to back as the leading man.

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Speaker 2: So those would be like putting it in around Mount Rushmore,

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Speaker 2: just those four, I can't do it. And the reason

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Speaker 2: why I stay black. I go with black verst is

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Speaker 2: because Hollywood wasn't created.

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Speaker 1: For black people.

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Speaker 2: So for those black men to have that success with

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Speaker 2: the amount of rules that's not written for us, I

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Speaker 2: always give them the nine. But that's not taking away

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Speaker 2: from the talent of our white counterparts.

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Speaker 8: Sorry, but I had exact reasons why I have Sidney

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Speaker 8: Poitier in my top five. Sidney Poitier broke the barrier

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Speaker 8: for a lot of the people to do anything that

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Speaker 8: they're doing.

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Speaker 7: You know what, he set the bar you know what.

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Speaker 1: I can't even now we say that Sidney pot did.

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Speaker 1: What about Morgan Freeman?

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Speaker 5: So it's interesting you're naming these people. So there's a

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Speaker 5: there's a documentary coming out later this month called uh

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Speaker 5: Yeah that's going to talk about the success of a

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Speaker 5: lot of these black actors, which I'm excited to watch.

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Speaker 3: Excited.

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Speaker 5: Next, I guess we can talk about politics a little bit.

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Speaker 5: Uh So recently Trump and Trump, the President, our president.

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Speaker 3: The people that president, and the people of them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, President sign in executive order to dismantle the Department

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Speaker 5: of Education, which is insane. The Department of Education, they

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Speaker 5: control uh funding for education and higher education grants, uh

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Speaker 5: funding for services for children with disability. So a lot

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Speaker 5: of people think this is going to put people who

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Speaker 5: are already at risk further behind, like low income families

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Speaker 5: and special education students, and it's going to widen educational disparities.

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Speaker 5: So the Trump's idea behind this is to give power back.

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Speaker 1: To the states.

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Speaker 5: I think something that we understand about the Civil War

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Speaker 5: is that apparently it was about states, right, So here

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Speaker 5: we are back.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up.

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you brought up the Civil War because

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Speaker 2: if people understand where the Department of Education came from,

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Speaker 2: they would understand why this is.

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Speaker 1: Never for us as black people.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Right after the Civil War, the DC was created.

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Speaker 2: The UDC is the United Daughters of the Confederacy led

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Speaker 2: by a woman called named Mildred Rutherford, and Mildred Rutherford's

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Speaker 2: whole purpose of the United Daughters of the Confederacy was

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Speaker 2: to uphold the lost cause in doctrination. The lost cause

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Speaker 2: in doctrination was the indoctrination that the Confederacy was here

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Speaker 2: to save America. So what they did was they changed

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Speaker 2: all of the textbooks that we see federally to become whitewashed.

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Speaker 2: That's why there's no black history in the textbooks. So

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Speaker 2: for me, the dismantling of the Department of Education for

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Speaker 2: the federal level takes away the power of the federal

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Speaker 2: level to tell all of our kids what they're going

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Speaker 2: to learn in schools. Now, him giving it to the

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Speaker 2: local leaders like states, allows the governors and the mayors

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Speaker 2: to decide how they're going to educate and the funding

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Speaker 2: they're going to use for their constituents, which.

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Speaker 4: I think makes it a little bit more tangible for

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Speaker 4: people in their respective states. But if you're in those

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Speaker 4: local elections and you're, you know, lobbying for the things

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Speaker 4: that you want, then there's probably a greater chance of

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Speaker 4: you getting those things now.

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Speaker 1: If now the problem is doing that.

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Speaker 2: If you cut the Board of Education, the federal funding

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Speaker 2: that comes down to these states get cut as well.

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Speaker 2: And a lot of that federal funding was to help

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Speaker 2: people who look like us. So I'm kind of torn.

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Speaker 2: I'm torn because our people need the funding, especially since

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Speaker 2: we pay taxes. We need that funding to educate our kids.

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Speaker 2: But I'm torn because the education they teach our kids

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Speaker 2: is not the real education.

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Speaker 1: I give you a perfect example. Jackson just last month had.

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Speaker 2: To do a story or had to do a report

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Speaker 2: on Western expansion, and all of the stuff they talked

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Speaker 2: about in Western Expansion never talked about the black the

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Speaker 2: black cowboys and the black sheriffs, and the people who

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Speaker 2: actually built this country.

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Speaker 1: The Asians that came over here.

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Speaker 2: All of the stories was about what the US government

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Speaker 2: did to help grow America.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, this is not real history.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I said, Jack you ever

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Speaker 2: heard about black holes? He was like, no, only from you.

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Speaker 2: And that leads me to my point. I don't care

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Speaker 2: what they do with the Department of Education because I

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Speaker 2: am going to always educate my kids period. Like whatever

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Speaker 2: funding they pull, I'm going to make sure that my

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Speaker 2: kids understand who they are and where they stand when

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Speaker 2: it comes to history.

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Speaker 1: So my opinion on the Department of Education is, let

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Speaker 1: the federal government do what they gotta do. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: make sure my kids know period.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that opera.

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Speaker 1: No opp from the rest of the crew.

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Speaker 7: I got no op because I'm not going to say

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Speaker 7: anything as eloquent, but.

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Speaker 1: People know that history.

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Speaker 2: I wrote the book that book. I wrote the book

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Speaker 2: The Ellis is in a time machine. Like I learned

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Speaker 2: about Mildred Rutherfoot should had my skin crawl like so

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Speaker 2: y'all actually had a woman go into the textbooks and say,

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Speaker 2: we're not going to say this.

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Speaker 1: We're going to say this just to uphold and.

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Speaker 2: For people who don't know what the Lost Cause in

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Speaker 2: doctrination is, go back and watch.

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Speaker 1: Birth of a Nation, the very first Birth of a Nation,

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Speaker 1: which was.

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Speaker 2: The first movie that played in the White House right

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Speaker 2: during reconstruction, and the movie was of white men in

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Speaker 2: blackface terrorizing the people of America, and the klu Klux

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Speaker 2: Klan came to save Americans because after well during reconstruction,

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Speaker 2: the story they told of the Lost Cause was that

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Speaker 2: they finally allowed slaves and people of color to be

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Speaker 2: a part of the government, and they ran the government rampant,

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Speaker 2: and they needed the KKK to come save the people

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Speaker 2: of America from the black men that were raping and stealing.

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Speaker 2: That's the lost cause in doctrination, the fact that the

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Speaker 2: Confederacy was about states' rights and it wasn't about slavery.

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Speaker 2: So what they're continuously doing is trying to indoctrinate generations

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Speaker 2: that the Confederacy was here to save America, not that

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Speaker 2: they were pretty much treason this people who tried to

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Speaker 2: separate from the Union and lost.

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Speaker 1: The biggest thing is that the Confederacy.

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Speaker 2: Lost the war, the Civil War, and they never wanted

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Speaker 2: to talk about them losing the war. So I think

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Speaker 2: it's important for people to understand where the Department of

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Speaker 2: Education sits and our people not just about funds, because

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Speaker 2: they will give our people funds and then have someone

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Speaker 2: educate them incorrectly.

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Speaker 1: That's just my opinion on it. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: But I mean, we've never relied on the textbooks ever.

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Speaker 2: All of our kids have tutors and mentors, Like even

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Speaker 2: when we didn't have money, Padeen and Deval was in

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Speaker 2: that book with Jackson, Like, that's how I learned about

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Speaker 2: so much of this stuff.

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Speaker 4: I was about to say, Deva's mom was just here

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Speaker 4: visiting with the boys, and I had gotten these little

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Speaker 4: flash cars that are just like black history flash cars

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Speaker 4: and stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: Her eyes lit up. She was like, Yeah, I want

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Speaker 3: to go for some of these with the kids, because

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Speaker 3: your mom lived through.

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Speaker 2: My mom lived through the end of the degregation, and

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Speaker 2: she was in Brooklyn and they had finally ended segregation

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Speaker 2: in the late sixties or early seventies, and she was

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Speaker 2: one of the first group of black kids to go

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Speaker 2: to school in Marine integrated and they were chased out

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Speaker 2: of those schools every single day. So my mom doesn't

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Speaker 2: play when it comes to education. That's why I am

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Speaker 2: the way I am. And that's that's also why I'm

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Speaker 2: so pro bleak history, because that history lives in me.

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Speaker 2: Like this to me isn't just opinions. These are facts

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Speaker 2: that my mom made sure I knew, so Department of Education,

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Speaker 2: I never rely on that. My mom used to sit

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Speaker 2: in all of the meetings and talk about funding. How

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Speaker 2: come none of this funding is going towards arts or

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Speaker 2: going towards this. My mom used to sit in the

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Speaker 2: meetings to be like this ain't right, and I realized,

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Speaker 2: like the federal government doesn't have the amount of power

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Speaker 2: people think they have when it comes to educating our

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Speaker 2: people and our kids. So parents, if you're listening, handle

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Speaker 2: that yourself. Don't even leave that up to them.

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Speaker 5: And just imagine parents who who have to work, single parents,

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Speaker 5: have multiple children time. Yes, plus, this was an alarming

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Speaker 5: stat that I read the other day. Fifty six percent

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Speaker 5: of American adults have a reading level below sixth grade.

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Speaker 1: So a lot of parents shocking.

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Speaker 5: No, it's not shocking, but I'm just saying a lot

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Speaker 5: of a lot of parents don't even have, you know,

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Speaker 5: the intelligence to teach their children. And that's what we're

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Speaker 5: going to So we have to really rely on community

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Speaker 5: in this time to try to make sure that our

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Speaker 5: kids don't get left behind.

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Speaker 2: That's a problem on what you just said, And it

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Speaker 2: doesn't surprise me fifty six percent because most people don't

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Speaker 2: value school or education.

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Speaker 5: In our in our parents generation, a lot of times

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Speaker 5: they couldn't they had to make other choices.

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Speaker 2: That is true when I think about my grandmother. My

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Speaker 2: grandmother couldn't go to high school. She had to take

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Speaker 2: care of her siblings because there was six of them

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Speaker 2: and she was the oldest.

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Speaker 1: That is a very valid point.

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Speaker 5: And uh, back on the subject of burnout, I saw

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Speaker 5: a TikTok recently a woman named doctor Claire Ashley talking

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Speaker 5: about burnout, and she said that it takes on average

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Speaker 5: one to three years to recover from burnout. But she

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Speaker 5: said there's five stages of burnout that can help you

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Speaker 5: identify burnout quickly quicker, so that you can recover quicker,

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Speaker 5: just in case.

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Speaker 1: So are you interested in hearing I.

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Speaker 3: Would hear that's the perfect segue.

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Speaker 1: Well, all right.

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Speaker 5: Stage one is the honeymoon phase, she said. This is

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Speaker 5: when you start a new job. You're really excited, and

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Speaker 5: so because you're so excited, you might take on more

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Speaker 5: work than you actually can handle and trying to prove yourself,

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Speaker 5: try to prove yourself excited about the work, excited to

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Speaker 5: do the thing. Yeah, and then that will lead you

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Speaker 5: into phase two, which is the onset of stress. This

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Speaker 5: is when you start to notice that things becoming more

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Speaker 5: stressful you or you start to have more stressful days

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Speaker 5: than non stressful days, and you start to notice that

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Speaker 5: you might be getting frustrated you might be feeling a

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Speaker 5: little bit overwhelmed, and that can lead to chronic stress

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Speaker 5: if you don't do anything about it at that point,

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Speaker 5: it will lead to the third phase, which is chronic stress.

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Speaker 5: And this when you're chronically stressed, it affects your ability

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Speaker 5: to concentrate. You're less productive and you feel more overwhelmed, overwhelmed, yeah,

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Speaker 5: and then that leads to the fourth stage, which is

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Speaker 5: actual burnout where this is where the apathy really kicks in.

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Speaker 5: You're feeling detached from your friends, detached from your family,

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Speaker 5: detached from your emotions, yeah, detached from the work, and

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Speaker 5: you're feeling a level of exhaustion that goes.

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Speaker 1: Along with it.

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Speaker 5: And then that leads to the fifth stage of burnout,

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Speaker 5: which is habitual burnout, which is a loss of joy

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Speaker 5: in basically anything retired.

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Speaker 3: You might yeah.

401
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Speaker 5: Yeah, when you lose that, yeah, it can lead to

402
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Speaker 5: unhealthy habits, you know, seeking out dopamine to be.

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Speaker 2: Numb so that you don't have to feel what's happening.

404
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Speaker 2: You did that not describe everything?

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Speaker 1: Then? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So I see a correlation between burnout and having kids.

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Speaker 4: Honey, labor delivery, postpartum, Oh shit is linked together.

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Speaker 2: You got labor delivery, no pregnancy, pregnancy first, then you

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Speaker 2: got labor delivery, and you have after.

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Speaker 1: From postpartum, but sleep deprivation on top.

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Speaker 4: Of all of that, all the things burnt burnout is

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Speaker 4: a lot. Yeah, literally just want to be like by

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Speaker 4: my Well, what is it? How does it manifest itself

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Speaker 4: in you? Because for you with burnout, I know that

415
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Speaker 4: there's a detachment that happens that you just kind of

416
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Speaker 4: let go or coping mechanisms to deal with burnout. For me,

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Speaker 4: I know when I'm burnt out, I just want to

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Speaker 4: shut everything down, Like I don't want to be around people,

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Speaker 4: don't I want to be by myself. I don't want

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Speaker 4: to do anything. I want to find the ways that

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Speaker 4: I can find joy. Sometimes that's not leaving my bed.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes that's continuously you know, watching a good show in

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Speaker 4: time with just my kids and my husband. Like those

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Speaker 4: are the things for me, I know I can find

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Speaker 4: a little bit of like recovery from For.

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Speaker 2: Me, I have to be purposeful about taking time for myself.

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Speaker 2: Like what I've started to do now, I don't wake

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Speaker 2: up my days anymore prepared to handle today. I don't

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Speaker 2: wake up like I used to wake up phone check

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Speaker 2: my accounts.

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Speaker 3: That's a good point.

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Speaker 2: How much how much money came in, how much money

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Speaker 2: they came in, what came out? Let me call my advisor,

434
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Speaker 2: let me find out what it is. Then after that,

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Speaker 2: I checked my Instagram, my YouTube. I just make sure

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Speaker 2: that all my analytics is working right. Then it's like

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Speaker 2: the minute I woke up, I used to wake up.

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Speaker 1: That's what it was.

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Speaker 4: So it's like you woke up and almost inviting burnout business, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Which which I found to be terrible for me. Like

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Speaker 2: I was gaining weight. My eyes used to be super

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Speaker 2: dark all the time. My hair was crazy, crazy thing,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Like my body, even my

444
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 2: body five percentage. Matt was like, yoall looked at video

445
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,680
Speaker 2: of you last year and didn't realize that you were

446
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,439
Speaker 2: a lot bigger, Like I could see it in your face,

447
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 2: and I realized that I have in order to navigate burnout.

448
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: You can't let burnout happen. Right.

449
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 2: The first thing of navigating is don't get burnt out.

450
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: So I wake up in the morning. The for every

451
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 2: first thing I do when I wake up is I

452
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, go to my fridge,

453
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 2: take my ginger shot and drink my warm tea with

454
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: my probiotic and I just sit for a minute.

455
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: Sit, I meditate, I think about what it is I

456
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: want to do in life.

457
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 2: Then I go work out, spend my hour and a

458
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: half focusing on myself and my body. At that point,

459
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 2: I've rested my gut, because you know, gut health is important.

460
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: I've stretched, I've meditated, I've made sure everything that was

461
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 2: important to myself first was taken care of. Then I

462
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 2: checked my count then I check my Instagram then. So

463
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 2: for me, navigating burnout was to make sure the vow

464
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 2: was okay first, and I never used to do that.

465
00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, for me with burnout, I realized that it

466
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 4: was happening when I or we you know, essentially were

467
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 4: chasing all of the things that we felt like we

468
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,640
Speaker 4: needed to chase in order to be successful within this

469
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 4: career field. Right so, knowing the entertainment industry, the film

470
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 4: and television industry, now the social media industry, which has

471
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 4: become pretty much our livelihoods, for me, it was just like,

472
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 4: how can I chase every bag? You know, exist in

473
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 4: every opportunity because you never know at one point this

474
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 4: will be gone, Like we were saying in another episode,

475
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 4: ten years ago, social media and becoming a content creator

476
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 4: wasn't a thing. So I almost felt like for a

477
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 4: long time, like, at any point, this may not be

478
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 4: a thing anymore, So let me try to maximize and

479
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 4: capitalize on the opportunity now while I can, because taking

480
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 4: this opportunity may lead to that next big break. And

481
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 4: last year specifically, I realized like man like, I almost

482
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 4: felt like we were hustling backwards in a sense because

483
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,479
Speaker 4: I'm like, if I'm taking this gig and it's not

484
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 4: going to move the needle for me and in a

485
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 4: way that's successful for or could potentially be successful for

486
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 4: my career or from a professional standpoint, then it's like,

487
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 4: am I just going to every event just to be seen,

488
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 4: you know, sitting on every panel just to say you're

489
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 4: on a panel, to be posting that you're all doing something?

490
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 4: Or is this something that's really going to bring fulfillment

491
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 4: actually potentially bring me future opportunities. Is it going to

492
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 4: take me out of my home for an extended period

493
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: of time that I don't need to be away from home.

494
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 4: Those are the things that I had to start processing

495
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: and kind of asking myself to prevent eventually being burnt out.

496
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 2: So your first thing to naviate burnout was to be like,

497
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 2: I'm no longer doing the things that just don't serve

498
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: me directly, like not just doing stuff to do, eliminating busy.

499
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 3: Work, eliminating business the biggest thing.

500
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: Do busy work, Like, yeah, I'm sitting still, then I'm

501
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 2: not doing anything.

502
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 1: I'm not getting better exactly.

503
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 4: That was how I'm feeling about it. Yeah, So that

504
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 4: was the first thing. Also reinvesting time into myself and

505
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 4: my health. So we both kind of got onto that

506
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 4: bandwagon where we're like, you know what, nothing is gonna

507
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 4: work if he and I aren't healthy. So we've been

508
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 4: super supportive in both of our journeys to really make

509
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 4: sure that from a health standpoint, we're investing in ourselves,

510
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 4: we're eating better, we're getting the sleep. Like team no sleep,

511
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 4: that's no longer a thing for me. Yeah, that's not

512
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 4: I'm gonna need my sleep. I'm gonna need my seven

513
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 4: to eight hours of sleep. Even when I was filming

514
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 4: and stuff like that, I'm like I had to prioritize

515
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 4: and like, am I gonna work out?

516
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 3: Am I gonna study? Am I what?

517
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 4: Am I gonna do in this you know, short amount

518
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 4: of time that I have to recover for the next day.

519
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, I'm going to sleep.

520
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: But I do think team no sleep is part of

521
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 2: the reason why burnout is so big in this generation. Yes,

522
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 2: like it became a badger honor. Yeah, and it used

523
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 2: to be for me when I used to be like, man,

524
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: I work eighteen hours and I didn't sleep. It wasn't

525
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 2: until I realized how much sleep was important for my recovery,

526
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 2: not just physically but mentally. Like you when you don't

527
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: sleep and you can't function because your cognitive dissonance.

528
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: Is like all over the place.

529
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 2: I can't even separate myself from stuff I want to

530
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 2: because I can't even realize what's happening. And then that's

531
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 2: a reality. What happens is when you don't sleep, you

532
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: start to do busy work because you really can't decide

533
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 2: what's important because your mind is all over the place.

534
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 2: So you do everything, yeah, and before you know it,

535
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 2: you're doing everything but also doing.

536
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 4: Nothing right and you're not showing up one hundred percent anywhere.

537
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,000
Speaker 3: Everything is just kind of scattered.

538
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 4: So for me, that was some of the biggest things

539
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 4: that I had to navigate when I realized like burnout

540
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 4: was definitely coming on. I realized too, that you can

541
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 4: be burnt out in so many different ways. Like there's

542
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 4: physical burnout, there's emotional burnout, there's a spiritual burnout, there's

543
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 4: you know, mental burnout. And I say all the time,

544
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,879
Speaker 4: I feel like even just as a mom and a

545
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 4: wife and a business woman, like there's so many tabs

546
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 4: opened in my brain that I had to realize. Sometimes

547
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,640
Speaker 4: asking for help and delegating responsibilities things like that helped

548
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 4: me navigate when I felt like, you know what, I

549
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 4: just can't do this anymore. And it's sad when it

550
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 4: hits you when you realize, like damn, like the love

551
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 4: for the things that I want to do, I can't

552
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 4: even do them because I don't have the energy to

553
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 4: do it. When I realized it was affecting the time

554
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 4: with the kids, for example, it's like I rather just

555
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 4: lay in bed and have some mean time versus like

556
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 4: wanting to chill with the kids.

557
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 1: Like that was a problem for burnout. Was affecting your

558
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,199
Speaker 1: family and what you want to do at home. I

559
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: got a question, trouble.

560
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: I know there are some facts and stacks about burnout right,

561
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 2: let me hear some of those.

562
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's not a medical condition, but the World

563
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 5: Health Organization does recognize that it can cause people to

564
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 5: feel physically and emotionally drained or be exhausted, or they

565
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 5: may also feel cynical.

566
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: But it's not a medical condition. It's not considered a

567
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 1: medical condition.

568
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 5: No, but it can produce medical mental emotional symptoms like depression, Yeah,

569
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 5: like depression, anxiety, and it can make it difficult to

570
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,359
Speaker 5: enjoy daily life. Some people also can have physical symptoms,

571
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 5: like if you have something called somatic symptom syndrome, it's

572
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 5: a turn it's a type of anxiety where you conflate

573
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 5: stress with physical illness, so it can mimic physical illness.

574
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: Are we not tired of all of these diagnoses? There's

575
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,399
Speaker 2: like fifteen thousand versions.

576
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 3: Of depression and anxiety.

577
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna be honest, bro, I I feel like

578
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 2: sometimes we're getting too like clinical with things because we

579
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 2: have kids now who are like eleven, and they're like

580
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 2: that have anxiety about this. I don't think I should

581
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 2: do this, And it's like, well, hold up, hold up,

582
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: you eleven, you don't really have no anxiety about what

583
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 2: you're scared.

584
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I don't know.

585
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 3: I'm kind of torn with that because I feel like

586
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 3: I feel I'm.

587
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: Talking with that because I'm torn.

588
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 4: I'm torn because I think as we grew up right

589
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 4: and we were told to just push through things and

590
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 4: to deal with it and this.

591
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 3: Is part of the chorus, and this is how you

592
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 3: become successful.

593
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 4: It's like we just kind of put our head down

594
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 4: and then ignore the way we felt about a lot

595
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 4: of things, which is internal why I think adults, our

596
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 4: age millennials specifically have the.

597
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 3: Issues and the anxiety the things that.

598
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 4: They have now versus now that we've put people on notice, like, Okay,

599
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 4: maybe there are days that you need a mental health day,

600
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 4: or you need a day to kind of just relax,

601
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 4: or maybe you should be.

602
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 3: Cognizant of how you feel mentally.

603
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, there's I gotta hear I

604
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 1: gotta hear it.

605
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 2: I hear what you're saying, but it's just used too

606
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 2: often acknowledgy days a kid need a mental health day,

607
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: three days a kid don't want to go to school.

608
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 9: Side that part, but I would not ignore the fact

609
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 9: that anxiety is a real thing.

610
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: No, I'm not talking about anxiety.

611
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 2: I'm talking about burnout being considered a type of anxiety.

612
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: It seems like everything now is considered anxiety. If a

613
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 2: kid is afraid to run the four hundred in track,

614
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 2: he has anxiety. It's like we clinically diagnose everything everything

615
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 2: when sometimes I'm just like, yo, get the fucking stick

616
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: out of your ass and try.

617
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

618
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 3: It has to balance.

619
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 6: No, I agree.

620
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 9: I think there's a there's a fear, and then there's anxiety,

621
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 9: and and one of most of those things can be

622
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 9: fear where kids are scared to do things. And then

623
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 9: there are some things that are legit anxieties. I know,

624
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 9: for example, Uh, Victoria early in her life had anxiety

625
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 9: that we did not understand. I especially didn't understand because

626
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 9: I don't really have anxiety about certain things. And if

627
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 9: I do have anxiety, I just I chalk that up

628
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 9: to just nerves or inexperience or just me just not

629
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 9: necessarily understanding the gravity of it all. But I had

630
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 9: to understand that her that she had anxiety, the anxiety

631
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 9: was real, and learn how to deal and cope and

632
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 9: teach her and culture through those things. So my only

633
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 9: point is to the anxiety that yes, I do agree

634
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 9: that everything in our society we can say, oh, it's anxiety,

635
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 9: But then there's a certain there's a certain place that

636
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 9: I had to grow up and be like, maybe I

637
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 9: should look into this, and I should I should probably

638
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 9: ignore the fact that I should ignore the tough love

639
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 9: sentiment when it comes to certain things like that.

640
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 5: And I will say this on the topic of stats,

641
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 5: the National Alliance on Mental Health did a poll a

642
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 5: survey asking people about burnout or their work and their

643
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 5: mental health, and they shared that sixty sixty two percent

644
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 5: of employees who reported on the survey feeling uncomfortable about

645
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 5: sharing about their mental health also reported feeling burned out

646
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 5: by their jobs.

647
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 1: So there's a dress.

648
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 5: They did a survey on ten two thousand people in

649
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 5: the workforce in the United States.

650
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 2: I can understand that because the United States is known

651
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 2: for overworking people in every aspect of But.

652
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 5: My point is that if you're you're unable to share

653
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,840
Speaker 5: about your mental health because you might feel that anxiety

654
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 5: is not a real thing, or there's too much anxiety,

655
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 5: or I'm just feeling something else. I don't want to

656
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 5: talk about my mental health because you're not gonna believe

657
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 5: me or it's not real or whatever.

658
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: You're also struggling.

659
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 5: You might also be challenged because you feel burnt out

660
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 5: and you're forcing your way through it.

661
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 2: So this is my thing, similar to what Josh just

662
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 2: spoke about. When I got to the NFL. You know,

663
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: they have you speak with sometimes sports psychologists or you know,

664
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,959
Speaker 2: you go speak to your sports you play a performance person.

665
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 2: And I went to speak to him and it was

666
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 2: just like, man, it sounds like the valle that you

667
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: grew up with, you know, performance anxiety. And when I

668
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 2: was telling you, and I was just like, what's performance anxiety?

669
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 2: And it was just like, you know, it's the fear

670
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: to perform in front of people, no D d D.

671
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 2: And then I was thinking about it, I was like, oh,

672
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 2: there's a clinical name for that.

673
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: Didn't know that.

674
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: So I'm telling people I grew up with performance anxiety,

675
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 2: but you know how I got through it perform perform realistically.

676
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 2: Is it really an anxiety or is it a And

677
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: that's my point. This, This dude told me that I

678
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 2: grew up with performance anxiety and pretty much clinically told

679
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: me this is what it was.

680
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: And this and I was just like, okay, But then

681
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: when I thought about.

682
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 2: My life, I was like I always was concerned about

683
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: things that I had never done before, and the only

684
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 2: way I got rid of the fear was by practicing.

685
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 4: I was about to say that, so it's not even

686
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 4: really performance anxiety. It's once you feel confident enough to perform,

687
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 4: then that anxiety goes away because you're prepared.

688
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: But he told me I have performance.

689
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 9: I guess you can make your way through performance anxiety

690
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 9: like you can heal yourself of performance anxiety.

691
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 5: Preparing and performing anxiety isn't always something that is debilitating

692
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 5: or it takes over your life. When it does take

693
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 5: over your life, that's when you might need to have

694
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 5: medication or some form of like talk therapy or E M,

695
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 5: d R something like that. But if you have a

696
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 5: general anxiety about something, even if it's no, it's a

697
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 5: type of therapy.

698
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: Now you don't have anxiety.

699
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 3: It's a different kind of burned out.

700
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 5: It is a type of therapy that it's called eye movement,

701
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 5: desensitization and reprocessing. It's psychotherapy is a technique that helps

702
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 5: reduce distress associated with disturbing memories.

703
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: They use it a lot for PTSD and anxiety.

704
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 2: Like when you've dealt with certain traumas that you when

705
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: you have anxiety, that to me is very different than yeah.

706
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: Free to play this game, you know what I'm saying.

707
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 5: But yeah, so everybody has a level of anxiety. It

708
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 5: can be a medical issue if it gets to the

709
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 5: point where it disrupts your everyday life. And if it

710
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 5: disrupts your every day life, you might go to therapy

711
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 5: and a therapist might do something called exposure therapy where

712
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 5: they kind of force you to do the thing that

713
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 5: you're scared to.

714
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 1: Do, which is what you just said exactly.

715
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 5: But if you have a level of anxiety where it's

716
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 5: disrupting your everyday life, you can't get to that place

717
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 5: by yourself. So luckily for you, you're able to get

718
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 5: past your performance anxiety because you can force yourself to

719
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 5: do the thing that you're scared to do because you

720
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 5: don't have a level of anxiety that's keeping you from

721
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 5: doing that thing.

722
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 2: Copy So, since burnout isn't a clinical diagnosis, if people

723
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 2: can work through burnout, which is ultimately fatigue, to a

724
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 2: point where your so fatigue that you start to have

725
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 2: these symptoms of anxiety, pretty much that's what burnout is.

726
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 2: Han sleep, physically tired, headaches, you know what I'm saying, exhaustion.

727
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,320
Speaker 1: So that's what burnout is.

728
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: And the reason why I want to separate the two

729
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 2: is so that when listeners are listening or whoever's watching

730
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,760
Speaker 2: at home, you understand the difference between anxiety and burnout

731
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 2: and don't just mix because I think that's what happens.

732
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 2: Everything becomes a kerfuffle, you know what I'm saying. Everything

733
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: now gets put under one thing. And if we're really

734
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,800
Speaker 2: going to have this conversation, I really want people to

735
00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 2: understand the difference.

736
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: Like burnout is not a clinical diagnosis.

737
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 2: Where you was born with burnout and you tend to

738
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 2: continuously always get burned out.

739
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Burnout is something you.

740
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 3: Can and self inflicted most of the time.

741
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 2: And that's what I want people to understand the difference.

742
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,760
Speaker 2: Anxiety is something like y'all just discussed, you can't control

743
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 2: over it, but there's ways to work through your anxiety.

744
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 2: Burnout you have one hundred percent control over it. That's

745
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 2: why it's not a clinical diagnosis. So we can prevent burnout.

746
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 4: Right, but you may exhibit thingsts symptoms of right, it's

747
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 4: almost like googling something on webin dan and it's just like,

748
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,800
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm about to die because I have

749
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 4: all the symptoms at the same time, you know, but

750
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 4: it's easy to kind of get them across.

751
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 2: I like the separation of the two so people understand

752
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: because people also need to know when you have anxiety,

753
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: which is a clinical diagnosis and need to seek someone,

754
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 2: as opposed to just thinking I have burnout, And it's

755
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 2: important for people.

756
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 1: To know do you have anxiety or are you burnt out?

757
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 2: And understanding the difference between the two can help people

758
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: go get the help they need.

759
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 4: At what point do you because I thought this is

760
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 4: pretty interesting, do you tend to lose some interest in

761
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 4: your career or like your professional goals because of burnout?

762
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,919
Speaker 4: I feel like I've never seen that with you where

763
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 4: you're like, Okay, I'm feeling burnt out, but you know,

764
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 4: I don't think I want to do this acting thing anymore,

765
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 4: like where it's ever been like a doubt. Do you

766
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 4: feel like it's just par for the course or do

767
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 4: you feel like because for me, I can see how

768
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 4: sometimes the doubt can now kind of trickle in, like

769
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 4: do I have what it takes. If I can't deal

770
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 4: with this and I'm burnt out trying to get to

771
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 4: this goal or this job or this next level, I

772
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 4: can see how it starts to force someone to question

773
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 4: whether this is even the right field for them.

774
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,840
Speaker 1: This is how my hand do that. Unless you got something.

775
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 8: That I was going to say that low key burnout

776
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 8: help me. I was burnt out doing weddings and I

777
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 8: had to get out of there, and it helped me

778
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 8: get further my career because I got tired of doing

779
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 8: the same old, same, the same old weddings.

780
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 7: I just got tired of it.

781
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: And you know what it reminds me of though, you

782
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 2: never wanted to just do weddings, same way I never

783
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 2: wanted to just be an NFL athlete. When you get

784
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: burnt out doing something you really don't want to do, yeah,

785
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 2: it's like, yo, my body is telling me because with acting,

786
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 2: I'll get up tired, not tired because I love.

787
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: It, you love it. Yeah, they don't feel like work.

788
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: You're just get burnt out on set one time.

789
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think you were also navigating the things

790
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 4: around the set. It was household stuff. It was a

791
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 4: bunch of things that yeah, everybody was sick. You were

792
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 4: physically sick.

793
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: I was physically sick. Yeah, But I think that's also

794
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,720
Speaker 2: important conversation to talk about. Just because you love something,

795
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,879
Speaker 2: don't mean that you're supposed to do it every day

796
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 2: for eighteen hours. You still got to take care of

797
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 2: your body, your mind, and your spirit. That's actually a

798
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 2: good point about because I do love acting, and I

799
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 2: am the type of person that gets obsessive over things.

800
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 2: So I'll get up in early in the morning, I'll

801
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 2: do my readings, then I'll go work out, then I'll

802
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 2: go do something else.

803
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 4: But your body's an instrument. Absolutely, if you wanted to

804
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 4: show up, you when it needs to show up, then

805
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 4: you guys take care of it too.

806
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 2: So I got I got my moment of truth when

807
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: she just said that. Appreciate you, Matt, because that was

808
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 2: a good point though bringing that up.

809
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 1: That is a good.

810
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 3: Point, right, It's like, is it burnout or is this

811
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 3: just part of the time.

812
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 1: To go that's the point. Is it burnout or I'm

813
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 1: just over.

814
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 3: This, right or is it just part of the process

815
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 3: And you're going to have to find a way to navigate.

816
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 2: Which goes to what we talked about last time. Which

817
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 2: was not navigating burnout, but knowing when to what walk away,

818
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 2: let go go.

819
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

820
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,280
Speaker 2: It's like, when you realize you're getting burnt out of something,

821
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,400
Speaker 2: it might be time, like Matt say, to let this go.

822
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 2: And maybe that's a good part, a good way to

823
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 2: navigate burnout if you notice you're getting burnt out of something.

824
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, letting go.

825
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: I got my moment of truth too.

826
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 3: Well, congratulations.

827
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: I love when you get your little moments of truth together. Yeah.

828
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 3: Oh my god. All right, y'all any other tips tricks

829
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 3: thoughts on now?

830
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 2: Well, I know Josh was burnt out at one point.

831
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 2: How did you get through that?

832
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 9: Bro get I get burnt out probably every September October ish.

833
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 1: Oh, that's what is season.

834
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, so it didn't happen for a really long time.

835
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 9: I didn't even know what it was when it first

836
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 9: happened to me back in twenty twenty. No before that,

837
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 9: I did get burn out of twenty twenty, but that

838
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 9: was pandemic.

839
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: And that was I think everybody was burned through.

840
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,400
Speaker 9: But for the first time I happened to I got depressed.

841
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 9: It was just like straight depressing. I'm looking now at

842
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 9: what I'm doing versus what everyone I was comparing myself

843
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 9: to everyone else, like damn, this person went on vacation

844
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 9: and I'm stuck in front of the computer or and

845
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 9: shit happens a lot, like I'll just be here and

846
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 9: then I'll pick up this and everyone's else's life is

847
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 9: pasted like they're enjoying it.

848
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,280
Speaker 1: That's what's wrong with the phone.

849
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 9: They're enjoying their lives, and I am not enjoying my life,

850
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 9: not enjoying what I'm doing. And it's it's not a

851
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 9: situation where I don't enjoy what I'm doing, insaid, I'm

852
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 9: doing too much of what I'm doing and I don't

853
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 9: have any balance. And then on top of that, you

854
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 9: don't have balance.

855
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 7: With your family.

856
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 9: Your family feels like they need you, but you're stuck.

857
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 9: It's almost like there is literally no escape. Which was

858
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 9: funny because when we talked about what burnout is versus anxiety,

859
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 9: burnout can be cured. Well, we talked about burnout was

860
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 9: an option, right, like you can do things to mitigate it.

861
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,399
Speaker 9: But the reality is when you have no options and

862
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 9: you have to do this task, especially for me, I'm

863
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 9: going oriented, like.

864
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: You know, I like get your things done.

865
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 9: So when I don't have any options, I don't see

866
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 9: like there's an Like there's an option, but the option

867
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 9: is I won't make the money that I'm making, right, So,

868
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 9: like you sort of got to find a happy balance.

869
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:57,920
Speaker 9: And what ends up happening is my product My productivity

870
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:01,439
Speaker 9: goes down. The quality of what I'm doing dramatically down

871
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 9: from operating at let's say, at an eighty percent level,

872
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 9: goes down to like thirty. And then I started missing things.

873
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 9: Deadline stopped slipping, email stopped slubbling. I remember at one

874
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:17,839
Speaker 9: point I had to email people in like January February

875
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 9: to tell to apologize for missing emails that were coming

876
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 9: in November December. Yes, and I'm like, I'm sorry that

877
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 9: I did this. I just couldn't get to you because

878
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 9: I was focused on other things and I really just

879
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 9: got depressed, like I just couldn't do it.

880
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: You know what you said that really stuck with me, though.

881
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 2: You said you picked up the phone and you noticed

882
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 2: that people were enjoying their life, and it made you depressed.

883
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 2: Comparison is the thief of joy, And the minute you

884
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 2: start looking at the highlight video of everybody else's life,

885
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,239
Speaker 2: you tricked yourself out of your own joy because I'm

886
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 2: pretty sure of them people on the phone.

887
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 1: Of course, it's probably, but they posted that.

888
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 9: But the thing is that I desire that and then

889
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 9: it was attainable for me. It's not a situation where

890
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 9: I'm comparing them because I can't get to that. Yeah,

891
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 9: I know that I can. You want it, but I

892
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 9: am burnt out to the point where I can't get

893
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 9: there because I'm focused on what I'm doing. So it's

894
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 9: not that I'm not comparing their lives. I'm comparing where

895
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 9: they are.

896
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,000
Speaker 1: That moment acts.

897
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: But did you see how taking your mind away from

898
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: your goal and focusing on someone else has brought you there?

899
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 9: It's just, it's just it. It's not directly related to it.

900
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 9: I'm not doing it because I'm comparing. It's literally the

901
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 9: season that I'm in.

902
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 2: It's literally I'm agreeing with you, but I'm saying, do

903
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 2: you see the fault in that?

904
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 1: Though?

905
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is is you feeling depressed. Is the

906
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 2: symptom of you picking up your phone, not because you

907
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: were looking tom.

908
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,239
Speaker 9: A symptom of the burnout. It's accelerated by comparing. So

909
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 9: we're on the same page. I'm burnt out, I'm tired

910
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 9: now I got to see everybody else.

911
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm saying. My point is is to

912
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 2: navigate burnout. When you feel like that, the worst thing

913
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 2: you can do is ever pick up your phone and

914
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: look at social media.

915
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 1: Because I'm already burnt out. I'm tired. Now I gotta

916
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: go look at this dude here who.

917
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 2: He's on vacation or he just booked something. And it's like, dang,

918
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,319
Speaker 2: Like the value shouldn't even be focused on that. If

919
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: you're focused on your work, you'll get there. But since

920
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 2: you're not focused on your work because you burnt out,

921
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 2: you want to look at social media. Now you get

922
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 2: a reminder. I understand how you got that, and that

923
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: that I do the same thing. Me and Matt will

924
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: sit here right I feel burnt out, I'm let's go

925
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 2: watch a movie. I'll go watch a movie. Get there

926
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: and I get teary. Ey, I just want to do that. Bro, Like,

927
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 2: why I can't get a chance to do that yet?

928
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 2: And I didn't do that to I didn't watch it

929
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 2: to escape.

930
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 3: Happened so many times with us. I'm like, what's the matter.

931
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 3: He was just like, I just want to do that.

932
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: This be me brody watching it bro and I just

933
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 1: be like I could do that. I look, I can

934
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: do that. Somebody's not giving me a shot, and they

935
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 1: k't be like we were supposed to be just enjoying.

936
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are you acting like that's I'm realizing now

937
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 2: that you said that, that is that is freaking burnout.

938
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know crazy.

939
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 9: On the flip side, there are probably hundreds of other

940
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 9: people that still would want to take trade your place,

941
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:17,439
Speaker 9: absolutely right. And my thing is I still haven't figured

942
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 9: out how to navigate it. I know how to fix burnout.

943
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 9: I need to just stop doing work. I literally need

944
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 9: to stop doing work, take a few days, nap, chill, relax,

945
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 9: get my mind off of this, and completely reset. The

946
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 9: problem is how do you do that when you have deadlines?

947
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 6: Deadlines?

948
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 9: And we talked about it, like thinking that you everything

949
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 9: is cool, filling up your plate, adding these extra projects

950
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 9: that you know you want to do, but then like

951
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,479
Speaker 9: I committed to this, I am not going to let

952
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 9: people my name is on it. I'm Joshua, Like I

953
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 9: gotta finish this task. So I've realized, like picking opportunities

954
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 9: make being selective, also warning people ahead of time. Yo,

955
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 9: I'm doing this for you as a favor. I got

956
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 9: things that are on the slate. There may be a

957
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 9: situation that if I can't do this, I will let

958
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 9: you know. I'll give you ample time. But I'm letting

959
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 9: you know now like this is secondary to my prime objective.

960
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 9: And I've done that towards the end of the year,

961
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 9: letting people know like hey, like I'm adding this thing

962
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 9: for you.

963
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 8: But I think it goes to what Deva said before,

964
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 8: like if you reduce what you're doing or pull back

965
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 8: a little bit, don't even get to the point of

966
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 8: burnout money. I feel max, I get that.

967
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 7: Thousand percent money you can provide when you overloaded.

968
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 6: And facts that is true.

969
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 8: Balance how much I'm gonna put on my plate so

970
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 8: I can still carry it.

971
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 1: Yes, that's that's a real nigga conversation.

972
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 2: Don't we as as men be having that conversation like, yeah,

973
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 2: I feel you gotta make money, but dude, you can

974
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 2: make money right now.

975
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 1: We had this conversation with Jay.

976
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 9: You know what I've realized over the years and what

977
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 9: has benefit me is delegating that is yes, it is.

978
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 9: It is prime. I've had an assistant, I've had an assistant.

979
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 9: Three times in my career where I've had like personal

980
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 9: assistance where they have done tasks for me that I

981
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 9: can't do. You know what I'm most burnt out. It's

982
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:17,919
Speaker 9: when I don't have the assistant. That's when I'm most

983
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 9: burnt out because I don't have people to take the

984
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 9: extra task.

985
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 6: And you know, delegate.

986
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 3: Delegated, that's my thing be to delegate has seen.

987
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: Matt was outside. We gotta finish working out.

988
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 2: Jay had hurt his leg, right, so me and Matt

989
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,960
Speaker 2: was like, dude, do you ever rests like bro, I

990
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 2: mean the gym this many hours, I'm doing this and

991
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 2: I'm doing that. And I said, now, look, now you

992
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 2: can't go to the gym for a week.

993
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: He was like, so.

994
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you got an extra day in and now

995
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 2: you miss a week. It's the same thing, right, I

996
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 2: got to make this money, but now you lose the

997
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:54,239
Speaker 2: money because since he can't go to the gym, he

998
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 2: can't take clients. And I'm like, you missed a week

999
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,479
Speaker 2: worth of work and he was just like, I ain't

1000
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 2: see that. You says up to those two when people

1001
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 2: don't have a plan and they're not thinking about longevity

1002
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,439
Speaker 2: and they only think about instant gratification. That's when mistakes happen.

1003
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 2: That's so someone burnout happened. Seriously, it's like, I got

1004
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,399
Speaker 2: to get this done now and before you know it.

1005
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been there so many times. I've been

1006
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 2: there so many times. It's like hearing other people's stories

1007
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,360
Speaker 2: really make me realize, Like, shit, I've done the same thing, Josh.

1008
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 2: You know how many times I said like, oh, yeah,

1009
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: we're gonna put seven podcasts on the week, and then

1010
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 2: at the end of that week, I be fucked up

1011
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:28,839
Speaker 2: in here and.

1012
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 4: The recovery time is longer, like we be needing like

1013
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 4: three days.

1014
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 3: You want to do this back on track.

1015
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 2: And I'm like, damn, Like I should have just took

1016
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 2: the minute. And I mean we did kind of do

1017
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,919
Speaker 2: that a little bit like the end of last year.

1018
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 3: Oh we knew by then we were just months off.

1019
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 2: Like I didn't I didn't do nothing. I didn't take

1020
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 2: no gigs. I travel with her wherever she was going,

1021
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 2: and it felt good. I ain't gonna lie now. I

1022
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,839
Speaker 2: didn't make as much money in the last five months

1023
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,439
Speaker 2: as I would have liked to make, but I'm also

1024
00:48:59,600 --> 00:48:59,959
Speaker 2: not starting.

1025
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 5: Man.

1026
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying like, at some point you

1027
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,400
Speaker 2: got to decide you want to make the money or

1028
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 2: you want to live, and then gigs, gigs come here

1029
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,880
Speaker 2: when they miss you a little bit, that's when they come.

1030
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:16,400
Speaker 3: Did y'all miss us a little bit? Miss I know

1031
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 3: you missed it?

1032
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 4: All right, y'all, I guess let's go pay some bills

1033
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 4: and we're going to come back into listening letters. So

1034
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:39,280
Speaker 4: stick around, all right, y'all, we're back with listening letters.

1035
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 4: Let's just jump right in, all right. I love listening

1036
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 4: to y'all and appreciate the growth over the years.

1037
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1038
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,800
Speaker 4: I'm seeing a wonderful guy who's been a real gentleman

1039
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 4: and patient with me. He was just he was just

1040
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 4: some months out of a serious, long term relationship when

1041
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 4: we met. He didn't get intimate until over a year

1042
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 4: after we met. I'm forty plus, I was a virgin

1043
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 4: when we met, so he's my first. Well, congratulations, you

1044
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 4: pop the cork.

1045
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 3: I love it.

1046
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 4: The thing is, I'm ready to be working towards a relationship,

1047
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 4: but he's taking his time. Initially, it was fine because

1048
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 4: I've had to learn to slow down and just enjoy

1049
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 4: being with someone I like. I used to be anxious

1050
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 4: in relationships, but as I've worked on myself through therapy, etc.

1051
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:24,879
Speaker 1: Etc.

1052
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 4: I'm more secure now. And though I'm not rushing, I'm

1053
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,279
Speaker 4: also not willing to be single for another year. We

1054
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 4: like each other a lot, but I'm scared that I

1055
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 4: might end up five years later in the same status.

1056
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 4: We're both not seeing anyone at the moment, but he

1057
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 4: isn't ready to be exclusive. I'm open to meeting other

1058
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 4: people and have tried, but nothing. No one has happened yet.

1059
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 4: Would appreciate some advice as I navigate this. All right,

1060
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 4: So forty plus virgin when you met now he's your first.

1061
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 4: So is it that you're going for the gusto now?

1062
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 4: Because it's like, listen, I just I just gave it

1063
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 4: up after forty plus years, Like.

1064
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,760
Speaker 1: Well, Tom, this is it? Tim is ticket?

1065
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:05,279
Speaker 3: This is it?

1066
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 7: Like?

1067
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,560
Speaker 4: If we be honest, and if he's coming a couple

1068
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 4: months out of a serious long term relationship, then he's

1069
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 4: probably not wanting to get back into another potentially serious

1070
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 4: long term relationship. Was this a conversation that we had

1071
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 4: before y'all were intimate? Does he want to be in

1072
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 4: another long term, serious relationship? Like I'm curious to know

1073
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 4: if that conversation was had, because if you both were

1074
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 4: going into it with different viewpoints, different intentions, then that

1075
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 4: could potentially be a problem.

1076
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 1: What you think, babe, I understand where she's coming from.

1077
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 2: She's forty plus and she's probably like, Yo, I gave

1078
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 2: this man my body. If you've waited that long and

1079
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 2: you finally give this man your bodies, like, I want

1080
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 2: to see what's next. I understand that the only problem

1081
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 2: with that is that's not how life works. Because you're

1082
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 2: ready don't mean that you get to rush somebody. And

1083
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 2: so often we hear from people in relationships one is

1084
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 2: ready to do something and one is not right. And

1085
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 2: at first I thought it was just oh yeah, no, no, no.

1086
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 2: I thought it was we're going to get a bunch

1087
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:04,839
Speaker 2: of women who were just like I'm ready, I'm ready,

1088
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 2: I'm ready to men like I'm not ready.

1089
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: But we're seen over the past couple of years they'd

1090
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:08,879
Speaker 1: be dudes.

1091
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 2: They'd be like, yeah, I'm ready for her and she

1092
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 2: So I'm starting to realize that, yo, people want things

1093
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: on their own time, right, Asking someone else for advice

1094
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,840
Speaker 2: on how you should navigate that person is probably the

1095
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 2: wrong thing. Speak to that person directly and say, hey,

1096
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 2: this is what I'm looking towards, this is what I'm

1097
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 2: looking forward to, this is what I think my timeline

1098
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 2: is going to be. How does that work with you?

1099
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: And then when they tell you listen to them. Don't

1100
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: listen to them with the intent to change their mind

1101
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 2: to get on your plan.

1102
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 1: Listen to them and then listen to them.

1103
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 2: If he says, well, I've been in a relationship for

1104
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,479
Speaker 2: a long time, I'm not really you already know he's

1105
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: not looking to get into a relationship, and if you are,

1106
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,319
Speaker 2: now it's time to start making some decisions about what

1107
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 2: you want for yourself. This is why when people ask

1108
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 2: me and send me dms yo, my man or my

1109
00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: girl is doing this what you think I'm like? Don't

1110
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,840
Speaker 2: ask me, ask yourself and ask that person. Once you

1111
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: get the information, use discernment to choose yse. There's no

1112
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,680
Speaker 2: advice we can give you other than speak to him directly.

1113
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 4: When I heard you say, I thought I thought you

1114
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 4: were going to say. When people say oh, well, I thought, well,

1115
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 4: I thought, because to me, the I thoughts become the

1116
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 4: thief of clarity, like you thought. But was that what

1117
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 4: the person said, right? So to piggyback off of what

1118
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,840
Speaker 4: you said. Yeah, the conversation, if it hasn't been had already,

1119
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 4: I think is something that needs to be had, or

1120
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,240
Speaker 4: maybe should have been had prior to you becoming intimate,

1121
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 4: because I can imagine how after waiting so many years

1122
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 4: to finally then you know, share that with someone you

1123
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 4: want to now take this seriously and know where this

1124
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 4: is going to go.

1125
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 2: What you said, I think is the point. What you

1126
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 2: just said, though, don't tell somebody what you thought. If

1127
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,879
Speaker 2: they haven't told you what they want, or if they

1128
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 2: have told you, don't tell them what you thought they

1129
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 2: told you.

1130
00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:51,439
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying.

1131
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 2: So it's like, and if you haven't had the conversation

1132
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 2: and they haven't told you, don't say you thought. That

1133
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 2: means you created a narrative in your mind, your own mind,

1134
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 2: which is a mistake. So you shouldn't be thinking. If

1135
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: you have somebody, ask them when they tell you listen.

1136
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 1: So I like that point.

1137
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 4: I love that anybody else got two cents for our

1138
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 4: listening letter today?

1139
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: I do. I was hoping I was hoping you to

1140
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 1: ask about to let this nigga have it. Watch.

1141
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 5: No, no, no, I'm just like, if you are forty plus,

1142
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 5: you are a virgin, why you let this man take

1143
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:25,000
Speaker 5: your virginity? If you wait that long, you might as

1144
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 5: well wait till you get the ring?

1145
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 2: You know just what you want. You just said life

1146
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 2: is short, you gotta have joy.

1147
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, speak the vibrator is just as good, if

1148
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 5: not better.

1149
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 1: It's not you know what I'm saying. It's really not.

1150
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not.

1151
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 5: She didn't know, so she should have just waited till

1152
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 5: she got the ring. And I say, you know, you

1153
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 5: fucking now you might as well, you know, busted wide open?

1154
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: Then don't get you another I know for real.

1155
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 2: I do feel you though, because I am wondering though,

1156
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 2: if you forty plus, why wait to give it up now?

1157
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 1: If you're not married? That is a good question.

1158
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 4: Maybe yeah, maybe she's like, he is the one, but

1159
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 4: does he know he is the one.

1160
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,280
Speaker 1: I think she wants to be the one. I agree.

1161
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 1: She was like, yolo, I ain't getting no younger.

1162
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, and not for nothing. My perspective has

1163
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 2: changed after we had that conversation. You are forty plus?

1164
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 2: What am I waiting for?

1165
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 5: Right?

1166
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?

1167
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 3: Is it a badge? Of honor still to like be

1168
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 3: a virgin at that age. I don't know.

1169
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:38,640
Speaker 2: I think I think virtue has changed for men and

1170
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 2: women back in the day, Like you know the Stone ages.

1171
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 2: I need me a wife that's a virgin that I

1172
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,480
Speaker 2: can you know, consecrate this marriage and claim it's my own.

1173
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:50,759
Speaker 2: It's like nobody he talks like that, consecrate con either way.

1174
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 9: I know I didn't do it, brave heart.

1175
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,720
Speaker 3: It was test driving before we need the fact period.

1176
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 2: But I do think that's not it's not the same. Like,

1177
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:05,799
Speaker 2: no one, no one is going to be like, are

1178
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 2: you a vision? No, Like that's it's twenty twenty five.

1179
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 2: So the virtue of being a virgin no more, no

1180
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:16,319
Speaker 2: longer exists like it did in medieval times when you

1181
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,399
Speaker 2: had the night a sword and you know what I'm saying.

1182
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 2: So this may just be me because we live in

1183
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:23,319
Speaker 2: a different world. But I just don't care.

1184
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I know, I have no

1185
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 1: apple about virginity's no more. You meet a woman, she's

1186
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:31,799
Speaker 1: not a virgin. You probably not a virgin, ey the nigga.

1187
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 5: So they also say women's sexuality peaks in their forties,

1188
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,919
Speaker 5: and so there's a lot of forty plus yr old

1189
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,920
Speaker 5: hot girls out here that maybe their kids are finally

1190
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 5: out the house or true going through their first divorce.

1191
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 5: They out at the clubs, they out at the jazz lounges.

1192
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:53,800
Speaker 3: They're mingling, they're on hinge yes, baby, they're friends.

1193
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: That's out here going.

1194
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 4: Because there's no judgment at forty forties, you're like whatever,

1195
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 4: it's this, like, go do you congratulations?

1196
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:04,800
Speaker 1: Where you want to hear some crazy women here? Something crazy?

1197
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 2: Those women be the women that the young women be

1198
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 2: pissed about, because the young dudes who don't got nothing

1199
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:15,160
Speaker 2: be sleeping with the cougars, and the younger women be

1200
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,640
Speaker 2: like and be like, oh, you're out there sucking these cougars,

1201
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 2: and now this this is why niggas won't settle down.

1202
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,920
Speaker 1: And then those women be mad at men.

1203
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 2: Well, you realistically should be mad at the forty year

1204
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 2: old virgin that just decided she would to bust open,

1205
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 2: because you know what, Look who's right back there shaking

1206
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 2: his head because he in his twenties.

1207
00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:35,920
Speaker 3: And he no, I'm not leave him alone.

1208
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 1: The old women be busting it.

1209
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 2: And not only do they be busting it, they be

1210
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 2: spinning that bread too. So imagine you are twenty year

1211
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 2: old and the thing is.

1212
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 4: How rolls later in the Four Seasons Hotel, No, it

1213
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:49,479
Speaker 4: would a forty something year old woman.

1214
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 3: If I was single, I too.

1215
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: If you were single, what you yourself?

1216
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: I thought we was never not going to be together

1217
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 2: sudden if she was single single, I'll be You want

1218
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 2: me to sit there for?

1219
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 3: That was ever after we said that we could speak hypothetically.

1220
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: No, we didn't.

1221
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 2: When did we say that?

1222
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 4: Past episode the hypop my forty year old friends, my

1223
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:20,400
Speaker 4: forty year old friends.

1224
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 3: As I'm trying to talk my I'm trying to talk

1225
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 3: my cars in my socks.

1226
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:32,760
Speaker 9: You can't get your compression compression exactly what it is.

1227
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 3: I mean, he's not quite impression, but you know. But no,

1228
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 3: but I get it.

1229
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:37,680
Speaker 1: I get it.

1230
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 3: I'm saying I get it. Girls, I get that, and

1231
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 3: I am getting got it.

1232
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,840
Speaker 1: I don't see nothing wrong with that. Don't you have

1233
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:45,439
Speaker 1: a good time?

1234
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,200
Speaker 3: It's not about have a good at a time? Life

1235
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 3: is sure.

1236
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 5: She has been fucking this whole time. Imagine how great

1237
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 5: the rest of her life is. She's been focused on

1238
00:58:54,800 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 5: her career. Her apartment is clean as hell. You know,

1239
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 5: she got eight hundred credit score as audio version.

1240
00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: You know she disciplined.

1241
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you probably like and all that.

1242
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 1: A twenty year old.

1243
00:59:12,440 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, he gonna come in there strapping, ain't got nothing

1244
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,800
Speaker 2: to do but sit on her couch and bless her

1245
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 2: every time she come in the house, and she ain't

1246
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 2: gonna know what to do with her life.

1247
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 1: That's what's gonna happen.

1248
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 4: So maybe you need to wait for mister real gentleman

1249
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 4: who's been patient with you, says the options are gonna

1250
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 4: get in.

1251
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 2: Get in, bro seriously, yo, the young girls were doing

1252
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 2: it for a minute. I'm gonna find me a young

1253
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 2: old dude who never had money now now got money, money,

1254
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna let him splurge on me, take me

1255
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 2: on some yachts, not gonna marry him, might not even

1256
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 2: sleep with them, because a lot of these dudes be suckers.

1257
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 2: I'll be seeing a lot of dudes that be getting

1258
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 2: god like you spent how much money you're shorty, and

1259
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 2: you not even smash.

1260
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 8: It so she could smile at you, and then she'd

1261
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 8: be with somebody else.

1262
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:58,840
Speaker 2: This happening in the old heads. That's why I'm happy

1263
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 2: I got married. Nobody bamboozing me but me. I spend

1264
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 2: this money, I'm getting smash.

1265
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 1: I'm smash.

1266
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 3: Period. That's a fact that your wife.

1267
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:08,480
Speaker 1: You heard that, Matt.

1268
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 3: That's a fact.

1269
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 1: What it is.

1270
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:13,720
Speaker 3: And everything is fine over here.

1271
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: But she's like, I think for some advice, I ain't

1272
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: telling me to be a whole.

1273
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 3: It went far left for you, for far left, you know.

1274
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 1: But when we got a lot of triple do got

1275
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:24,040
Speaker 1: some points though.

1276
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 2: We waited this long and you let it go and

1277
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 2: now he's not ready what you're supposed to do. Now

1278
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:30,840
Speaker 2: you can't put it back in the box. You can't

1279
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:34,840
Speaker 2: put the box in your box. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah,

1280
01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 2: don't listen to us.

1281
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 1: Don't listen.

1282
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 2: Listen stay disciplined your husband, because that's what you want.

1283
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 1: Don't listen to us. We wow right now?

1284
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, we love you, Thank you so much.

1285
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 4: We appreciate you being sticking around with us for the years. Okay,

1286
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 4: if you want to be featured as a listener letter,

1287
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 4: be sure to email us at the Elis Advice at

1288
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 4: gmail dot com.

1289
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 2: That is th H E E L L I S

1290
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:03,919
Speaker 2: A d V I see eat at gmail dot com.

1291
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 4: So time for moment of truth. We're talking about navigating

1292
01:01:07,680 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 4: burnouts and all things associated. You were excited about your

1293
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 4: moment of truth, So do you want to lead us

1294
01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 4: into that segment?

1295
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes.

1296
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 2: The very first thing I want to say shout out

1297
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:21,040
Speaker 2: to Josh, thank you for making us talk about the

1298
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 2: difference between burnout and anxiety. First of all, shout out

1299
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 2: to Trouble for making us talk about the difference between

1300
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 2: burnout and anxiety. But Josh, thank you for pointing out

1301
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:36,440
Speaker 2: the fact that sometimes you get burnt out and then

1302
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 2: you want an escape, and your escape could lead to

1303
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 2: more burnout.

1304
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 1: When you said that, I was like, Hey, that.

1305
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 2: The fucking truth because I've done that so many times,

1306
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 2: and in order to navigate burnout, my moment of truth

1307
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 2: is stay focused on the task until it's completed, and

1308
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 2: then when the task is completed, don't rush to another task.

1309
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 2: Sit in it for a minute, yeah, and just enjoy

1310
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 2: the fact that you completed the task. That's how you

1311
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 2: and my moment of truth is to avoid burnout.

1312
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:03,600
Speaker 3: I love that.

1313
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 4: I think mine has to do more with taking care

1314
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:11,360
Speaker 4: of self because I realized how sensitive. And I don't

1315
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 4: know if it's like a forty something thing now or what,

1316
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 4: but I feel like my body is super sensitive to stress,

1317
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 4: lack of sleep, not drinking of water, like not taking

1318
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 4: time for myself, and it manifests itself in different things,

1319
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 4: like the other day, I was saying, damn, I don't

1320
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 4: feel right. This was like two or three days ago,

1321
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 4: just came off of filming. So that was one kind

1322
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 4: of decompression that I was trying to do, right, just

1323
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 4: trying to reacclimate with life and the kids and Deval.

1324
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 4: And Deval was like, I know you're gonna need a

1325
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 4: couple of days. Take a couple of days, and.

1326
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:45,200
Speaker 2: Of course this is important and scary, so really like

1327
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:45,840
Speaker 2: this important.

1328
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:49,400
Speaker 4: So then there's that component of it being just like

1329
01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 4: lack of sleep out of my regimen.

1330
01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:52,240
Speaker 3: I wasn't working out for two weeks.

1331
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:53,840
Speaker 4: I was eating maybe two meals a day, so I

1332
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 4: really was not taking care of myself while I was working.

1333
01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 4: And then of course on flow the minute I rat

1334
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 4: to come tap dancing on my head. You know, she

1335
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 4: rains on every parade, right, so that's happening. At the

1336
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,160
Speaker 4: same time, she's a little bitch, she a little bit,

1337
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 4: but so that was happening also. And I remember saying

1338
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 4: that day, I don't know what's wrong. But something is wrong.

1339
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,479
Speaker 4: And I kept saying, I don't feel right, something doesn't

1340
01:03:17,480 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 4: feel right, and I thought maybe it was a bit

1341
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 4: of anxiety. I said, maybe I'm going through like withdrawals

1342
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,960
Speaker 4: from filming because I was having such a good time.

1343
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I now in a city of depression

1344
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 3: because I enjoyed working? Like what is happening?

1345
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 4: Then I get this massive headache on one side of

1346
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 4: my head and I'm like, Okay, maybe I'm dehydrated because

1347
01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 4: I haven't been drinking my gallon of water a day.

1348
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:39,880
Speaker 2: And this is why it's important to know your partner.

1349
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:42,720
Speaker 2: Because I looked in her eyes. Her eyes were super

1350
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:46,600
Speaker 2: super low and glossy, and the tent wasn't white like

1351
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,479
Speaker 2: she had like a slightly yellowish tent eyes.

1352
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, something is wrong with right.

1353
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 4: And then I'm laying here with him on this I'm

1354
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 4: actually sitting behind him on this couch. And then I

1355
01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 4: just start to feel really nauseous and I'm like and

1356
01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:00,800
Speaker 4: I was like, the last time I felt something kind

1357
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 4: of like this was when I had the postpartun pre

1358
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 4: plansha with Dakota and something to say, check your blood pressure.

1359
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:11,200
Speaker 3: I went to check my blood pressure. My blood pressure was.

1360
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 4: One forty two over one hundred, which is wild high,

1361
01:04:15,640 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 4: wold high for me. I'm like, your classic, like one

1362
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 4: eighteen over sixty eight kind of girl. So for my

1363
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 4: blood pressure to be that high, and all I'm thinking

1364
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 4: to myself is like, I haven't done anything that would

1365
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 4: warrant a high blood pressure right now, aside from the

1366
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 4: heavy period drinking. I was, yeah, I've just been doing

1367
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 4: all the things. So I took my blood pressure. I

1368
01:04:34,640 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 4: called my sister, of course, because now that she's a

1369
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,600
Speaker 4: nurse practitioner, she know a lot more about the whole

1370
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 4: medical feeling. I'm like, she's going through like the motions

1371
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 4: in her head, like we're checking the boxes of the

1372
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,000
Speaker 4: things that can or can't be And she's just like,

1373
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 4: all right, take two tile and all, get some hydration in,

1374
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 4: eat a meal. If the headache doesn't subside, then I

1375
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:52,840
Speaker 4: think you should go to the er.

1376
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 3: So I don't take it serious.

1377
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 1: From the minute she told me her blood pressure, I was.

1378
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 4: Just like, yo, go, So I tried not to panic

1379
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 4: because I think that's gonna make it worse. So I

1380
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 4: ended up taking the tilenol, had something to eat.

1381
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 2: She did tell you too, we took the blood pressure.

1382
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 2: Then she took it again on the same arm and

1383
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,360
Speaker 2: it went up. It was at like one oh six.

1384
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 2: And then she said, don't take your blood pressure on

1385
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:17,000
Speaker 2: the same arm twice. This is important for people to

1386
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 2: know because once it's squeezed.

1387
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it gets stretchedls.

1388
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:23,440
Speaker 2: Then when you try to take it again, it's automatically

1389
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 2: going to be high. So she switched arms and took

1390
01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 2: it again and it was below one hundred, which is

1391
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 2: why we didn't go to the hospital. I think that's

1392
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,080
Speaker 2: important till somebody at home has it and they keep

1393
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 2: taking their blood pressure. If they know what is getting high,

1394
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 2: it's because you're taking that in the same arm.

1395
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, So this arm was a bit lower.

1396
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 4: It was like one point thirty something over like ninety seven,

1397
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 4: which is still high, but it was better, right, So

1398
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 4: I took the tilenol, hydrated all of that stuff. Didn't

1399
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:47,480
Speaker 4: want to take a nap because I just feel like

1400
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 4: when you don't feel well, I feel like taking a nap.

1401
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 4: You just don't want to sleep. So I stayed up

1402
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 4: and everything the headache subsided. So she said that was

1403
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 4: a good sign. And I just realized, like I just

1404
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 4: in those two weeks probably burnt myself out to an

1405
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 4: extent and didn't even realize it because I was on

1406
01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 4: such a high from the adrenaline and everything happening and

1407
01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 4: being in a happy place that my body was literally

1408
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 4: telling me, bitch, get the fuck back it together, like.

1409
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 3: My body was in shock.

1410
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 4: So to tie in my moment and truth with that

1411
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:18,640
Speaker 4: quick story is to say, listen, when you.

1412
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 2: Was added somebody, you know how she always said my

1413
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 2: stories be long.

1414
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:24,560
Speaker 1: Nobody going to tell her that her story was long

1415
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 1: or it's only me trouble, but you don't.

1416
01:06:34,080 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 3: The story to say. I won't say quick. I said.

1417
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 4: I sorry to say, listen to your body, because your

1418
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,160
Speaker 4: body is it's all you have. It's the only one

1419
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 4: you got, so you got to take care of it.

1420
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 3: Burnout or not.

1421
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:47,479
Speaker 4: You're only going to be able to perform and show

1422
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,680
Speaker 4: up as yourself if you're taking care of yourself.

1423
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 1: Facts.

1424
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 7: I got one.

1425
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 8: Let's NBA players, This is not for you, but load

1426
01:06:54,720 --> 01:06:57,520
Speaker 8: management is important.

1427
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,440
Speaker 2: Facts that nobody went by them, fucking little management. We

1428
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 2: played all this money for these tickets.

1429
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 3: Period.

1430
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,320
Speaker 1: I'm pissed running ahead, Josh.

1431
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:10,440
Speaker 6: All right, So my moment of the truth is, uh,

1432
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:16,160
Speaker 6: burn me out once. Shame on me. No, shame on you. Yeah,

1433
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:18,640
Speaker 6: burn me out twice, shame on me.

1434
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 7: Why shame on you?

1435
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 9: Because I know better at the first time. Yes, And

1436
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:27,920
Speaker 9: one thing you did tell me you you always tell me. Actually, like, yo, bro,

1437
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 9: if you need to take a break, let me know.

1438
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:32,760
Speaker 9: I'm holding that card in my back pocket. Though into

1439
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:34,640
Speaker 9: like I really, really really.

1440
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 1: Josh on everything though we know when you need that

1441
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,840
Speaker 1: though real talk I got you don't.

1442
01:07:39,560 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 3: No, that's necessary.

1443
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 1: That's the worst thing I want to hear.

1444
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,240
Speaker 2: You know what's on the rise in America heart talks

1445
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:48,600
Speaker 2: the people between twenty and thirty.

1446
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:50,320
Speaker 3: That's why the blood pressure for me was a thing.

1447
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,200
Speaker 1: I'm like on the rise, I got.

1448
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 2: The last thing I want to ever hear is I'd

1449
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 2: rather hear Josh say y'all need a break, rather than

1450
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 2: getting a call from Anika saying, hey, Josh in the

1451
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,280
Speaker 2: hospital he had a stroke. Yeah, I don't ever want

1452
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:04,919
Speaker 2: to hear that. Why all about working out all the time,

1453
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 2: because that helps. That's the reason why.

1454
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 8: That's why I started working out. I had a high

1455
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 8: blood russure randomly, I think I don't remember exact number,

1456
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,679
Speaker 8: but it was near like one forty over. I remember

1457
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:19,599
Speaker 8: the number, looked at it my wife.

1458
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, not a thirty three months.

1459
01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 2: Stylistic is the top right high one. If you around,

1460
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,639
Speaker 2: anything between one ten and one twenty is considered normal.

1461
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 2: That lower number should be anywhere between US sixties eighty

1462
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:38,760
Speaker 2: or something.

1463
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like near ninety or NAR one hundred something.

1464
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:48,080
Speaker 2: When she had postpartum pre clamshaw, she was two hundred

1465
01:08:48,439 --> 01:08:51,360
Speaker 2: over something and they said, if she would have went

1466
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,800
Speaker 2: to sleep, you would have woke up and your wife

1467
01:08:53,840 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 2: would have either been staring at you because she had

1468
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:57,280
Speaker 2: a stroke and can't talk, or you would have woke

1469
01:08:57,360 --> 01:08:58,800
Speaker 2: up and your wife wouldn't have been here no more.

1470
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,800
Speaker 2: That's what the nurse to him, because I asked herself,

1471
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 2: why does my wife need to be admitted? And she

1472
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:05,799
Speaker 2: explained to me that high blood pressure leads to stroke

1473
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 2: and we all got to be better with that.

1474
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:10,240
Speaker 1: I know you young over there.

1475
01:09:10,280 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say your name, but I don't

1476
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:13,800
Speaker 2: care if you in your twenties, bro, we got to

1477
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:15,040
Speaker 2: be working out and eating right.

1478
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,719
Speaker 1: So your moment of truth, though.

1479
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:18,639
Speaker 3: Keep a blood pressure.

1480
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 1: I like that, Yeah, like that. My moment of truth

1481
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:26,639
Speaker 1: is be careful.

1482
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:29,840
Speaker 5: I guess when you're first starting out something, when you're

1483
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:33,559
Speaker 5: excited to do it, still, just pay attention to how

1484
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:35,320
Speaker 5: much you take on because you won't be able to

1485
01:09:36,479 --> 01:09:37,519
Speaker 5: sustain that forever.

1486
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:40,559
Speaker 1: That is a good When you like something, you tend

1487
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:44,680
Speaker 1: to like. You know, it's like I like this, and today.

1488
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,679
Speaker 8: I was going to when he was talking, I was thinking,

1489
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 8: it's like, it's similar to like overeating. You just feel yeah,

1490
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 8: I know as much as I love this.

1491
01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:58,679
Speaker 1: That is a good point.

1492
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:01,600
Speaker 6: Read too much of anything is.

1493
01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:06,000
Speaker 3: Hashtag ration.

1494
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:16,360
Speaker 1: That ass like scratch was.

1495
01:10:18,280 --> 01:10:24,759
Speaker 4: Tell that to Miss forty plus former virgin ration that okay, okay, period,

1496
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:28,040
Speaker 4: all right, y'all. Be sure to find us on Patreon

1497
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,600
Speaker 4: for exclusive Elis ever After content. You can find The

1498
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,439
Speaker 4: After Show more family content as well, and then you

1499
01:10:34,479 --> 01:10:36,360
Speaker 4: can find us on social media on Instagram.

1500
01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:41,759
Speaker 3: Elis ever After. I'm deval Oh, I'm Kadeen, I am.

1501
01:10:42,479 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 8: I'm I'm at Underscore Matt dot ellis with the easiest

1502
01:10:47,479 --> 01:10:48,840
Speaker 8: way is go to the vals page to look for

1503
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 8: collab period and.

1504
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,120
Speaker 6: I am Josha Duyne, s j O, s h u

1505
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:54,280
Speaker 6: A Underscore d.

1506
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:58,479
Speaker 1: W A I N and I'm at Trips the Cool

1507
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:01,800
Speaker 1: t R I B b Z the cool on Everything.

1508
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:04,200
Speaker 2: And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to wait.

1509
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 2: Thank you, as subscribe and as always.

1510
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:15,040
Speaker 5: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by

1511
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:20,000
Speaker 5: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, Production

1512
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:25,000
Speaker 5: by Joshua Dwane and Matthew Ellis, video editing by Lashawan Rowe.

1513
01:12:05,160 --> 01:13:00,400
Speaker 8: The UK

1514
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:09,960
Speaker 9: Talker A F.