WEBVTT - The Hardest Part of Being Strong

0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:02.200
<v Speaker 1>The choice.

0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:04.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything

0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:05.640
<v Speaker 2>and everybody.

0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:08.160
<v Speaker 3>You know, if you don't lie about that, right, Lauren

0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:08.639
<v Speaker 3>came in.

0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Hey, y'all, what's up.

0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:13.640
<v Speaker 2>It's Lauren Rosa and this is another episode of the

0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:15.800
<v Speaker 2>Latest with Lauren la Rosa. This is your deadly did

0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:19.000
<v Speaker 2>on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of

0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:21.759
<v Speaker 2>the conversations that shake the room. Baby. Now, y'all know

0:00:21.800 --> 0:00:24.360
<v Speaker 2>we kick off the Latest with Laurena Rosa behind the

0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:30.960
<v Speaker 2>Scenes of the Grind, So let's get on into it now.

0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.559
<v Speaker 2>This Behind the Scenes of the Grind kind of like

0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.199
<v Speaker 2>leads into the Latest a bit and into the conversation

0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.200
<v Speaker 2>we'll be having. I did to sit down with keV

0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:42.279
<v Speaker 2>on stage, comedian Internet personality, I guess you could call

0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:45.239
<v Speaker 2>him but writer director. Him and his wife are doing

0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:47.320
<v Speaker 2>amazing things across the Internet, but also in real life

0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:50.280
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to storytelling. He has a podcast called

0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.920
<v Speaker 2>Not My Best Moment and all this podcast we sat

0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:55.160
<v Speaker 2>down and talked about a bunch of different things. One

0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:57.480
<v Speaker 2>of the clips, though, that is my favorite from the interview,

0:00:57.840 --> 0:00:59.680
<v Speaker 2>kind of brings you guys behind the scenes a bit

0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.240
<v Speaker 2>with me. But also I think it summarizes a lot

0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:04.800
<v Speaker 2>about what I take you guys into in my real

0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.279
<v Speaker 2>life behind the scenes of the grind. We're talking about

0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.280
<v Speaker 2>being hyper independent as a woman child and where that

0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.480
<v Speaker 2>lands you in relationship, in in life, and in work.

0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:15.560
<v Speaker 2>Let's take a listen, not even just in work, but

0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.959
<v Speaker 2>in like my personal life. It's like, I don't have

0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.120
<v Speaker 2>time for you to tell me you can't figure it

0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:22.720
<v Speaker 2>out or fix it. I'm gonna just do it myself

0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:24.600
<v Speaker 2>because the more time you take trying to figure it

0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.640
<v Speaker 2>out to fix it, something else is gonna happen. And

0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.679
<v Speaker 2>a lot of these things, like you know, when you're

0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:30.720
<v Speaker 2>dealing with like you know, whether it's like me working,

0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:33.560
<v Speaker 2>like my mom and my grandmother right, like they're older,

0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.120
<v Speaker 2>so if it's like a health thing with them or

0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.920
<v Speaker 2>like whatever, No, we gotta get that nipped right now,

0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.399
<v Speaker 2>because time is of the essence. I don't have time.

0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.280
<v Speaker 2>They don't, literally, they don't have a time. I've just

0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:46.800
<v Speaker 2>that's just been something that's been like ingrained in me.

0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I think too, because I'm like the oldest child in

0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:50.160
<v Speaker 2>my family, am the girl child.

0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:54.720
<v Speaker 1>Oldest girl. Yeah, oh wow, that makes so much sense.

0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:56.480
<v Speaker 1>My wife is an oldest girl.

0:01:56.560 --> 0:01:59.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh she'd be on a play and she don't let you.

0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.400
<v Speaker 2>You have to talk or into letting you do things

0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:04.320
<v Speaker 2>for her. Right, I just made this post about how

0:02:04.360 --> 0:02:06.160
<v Speaker 2>hard it is to like even open the door.

0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.600
<v Speaker 1>You almost have to raise her just to open the door.

0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:12.720
<v Speaker 2>My boyfriend literally it's been even with the whole like

0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:15.400
<v Speaker 2>walking on the inside of the street, that I had

0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:16.680
<v Speaker 2>to learn that that was not for me.

0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:18.160
<v Speaker 1>I have to almost fight with her about this.

0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.720
<v Speaker 2>He will literally like move me. And he always tells

0:02:20.760 --> 0:02:23.720
<v Speaker 2>me like yo, like relaxing.

0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.119
<v Speaker 1>Girl, let me be with you as a man. That's

0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:27.440
<v Speaker 1>we have that conversation so much.

0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.480
<v Speaker 2>And it's not even like a like a I'm trying

0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:32.920
<v Speaker 2>not to let you be with me as a man.

0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.839
<v Speaker 1>It's just like I'm so used to I gotta do this.

0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:40.240
<v Speaker 2>Regardless twenty six years, she still act like and if

0:02:40.280 --> 0:02:42.160
<v Speaker 2>you go on tomorrow, I could do it.

0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:46.040
<v Speaker 1>She moving furniture like you don't need to do I

0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:46.840
<v Speaker 1>will Today.

0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:49.120
<v Speaker 2>This morning I was packing up and I like had

0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:51.400
<v Speaker 2>on my bags or whatever, and I had everything packed

0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:52.760
<v Speaker 2>up and I'm taking some up to the door and

0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.919
<v Speaker 2>he just was sitting there and he was like, so,

0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.040
<v Speaker 2>when you're ready for me to grab the bags and

0:02:57.040 --> 0:02:58.360
<v Speaker 2>walk out let me know, and I was like, the

0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.680
<v Speaker 2>uber is downstairs, and he was like, we're going to

0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:02.520
<v Speaker 2>the same uber and I had had to sit back

0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.600
<v Speaker 2>and realize. I'm like, he's right, Like I don't have

0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.079
<v Speaker 2>the yeah, but the But now.

0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Here's the thing.

0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:13.120
<v Speaker 2>I saw a lot of you guys commenting on this post,

0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.639
<v Speaker 2>like it kicked off a really big conversation, which I'm

0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:19.320
<v Speaker 2>always excited about. But I'm being honest, it's a little

0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:25.639
<v Speaker 2>bit scary sometimes to hear people or to see people

0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:29.480
<v Speaker 2>commenting on things that are like so interpersonal for you,

0:03:29.600 --> 0:03:32.720
<v Speaker 2>like your thoughts, your emotions and stuff like that. But

0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:37.120
<v Speaker 2>with this conversation, I was more excited to see people

0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:40.240
<v Speaker 2>not being afraid to be open and vulnerable. So, you know,

0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:42.360
<v Speaker 2>we get out in the streets, in the tweets, we're

0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:43.920
<v Speaker 2>taking it to the comments right now.

0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Outside we outside, we outside ode, I'm lauring the rosa everywhere.

0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:54.440
<v Speaker 2>So anytime you want your comment, your story or whatever featured,

0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.680
<v Speaker 2>hit me up on social l O R E N

0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.160
<v Speaker 2>l O R L s A and I'll bring it

0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:02.440
<v Speaker 2>to the podcast. So there's one comment to her name

0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.760
<v Speaker 2>is tree underscore mode on Instagram, she said oldest daughter, granddaughter,

0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:07.880
<v Speaker 2>and niece on both sides. My mom is also an

0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:11.600
<v Speaker 2>oldest daughter with the crying emoji face. Now there's another

0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:15.080
<v Speaker 2>woman who commented and said her name is tay t

0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:19.599
<v Speaker 2>s A kin ka A and E underscore M. I

0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.560
<v Speaker 2>think I've accepted that I am the backup plan, especially

0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:24.599
<v Speaker 2>with my mom passing and then adding on all these

0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.200
<v Speaker 2>other things you are trying to unlearn and not have

0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.320
<v Speaker 2>them repeat. Accepting that life gets hard and we can't

0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:35.160
<v Speaker 2>do it all at the same time really helps. There

0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:37.039
<v Speaker 2>was another person that commented, I thought that this one

0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:42.120
<v Speaker 2>was really good. Her name on Instagram is Yomtastic yam

0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:46.440
<v Speaker 2>t A s t i CC. She says, ladies, hyperindependence

0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:49.240
<v Speaker 2>is a beautiful thing. There is nothing we can't do. However,

0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.080
<v Speaker 2>too much hyper independence without a balance and a relationship

0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.440
<v Speaker 2>can lead you right back where you started. It's one

0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.680
<v Speaker 2>thing to one man that leads helps with emotional regulation,

0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.400
<v Speaker 2>et cetera, versus hyper independent stress or trauma, which leads

0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.880
<v Speaker 2>to a core belief that relying on others it's unsafe.

0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.200
<v Speaker 2>And when she put that in parentheses, I'm like, yo,

0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:09.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel seen, I always say, especially when I'm thinking

0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.800
<v Speaker 2>about like becoming a mom and getting pregnant, because when

0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:15.720
<v Speaker 2>a woman isant pregnant in a mother, but really when

0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:20.680
<v Speaker 2>she's pregnant right those nine months, you're so vulnerable your emotions, physically,

0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:22.760
<v Speaker 2>your body is different, physically, what you're able to do

0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.159
<v Speaker 2>on your own is different. There is a different level

0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:29.600
<v Speaker 2>of attachment, I'm sure to your partner, and just two

0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.360
<v Speaker 2>different things. And I've always been scared to do that

0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.719
<v Speaker 2>with the wrong person. And I've also always said I

0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:38.159
<v Speaker 2>want to be married first. And I think, in my mind,

0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.640
<v Speaker 2>if I'm being completely honest and open, marriage to me

0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, okay, at least if we're married.

0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.240
<v Speaker 1>We have to do this together.

0:05:45.400 --> 0:05:48.520
<v Speaker 2>The older I've gotten, I realized, like I got friends

0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:51.279
<v Speaker 2>my age that have been divorced that don't keep nobody,

0:05:51.400 --> 0:05:53.800
<v Speaker 2>nor does no dang baby or anything like that. And

0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:55.159
<v Speaker 2>I'm not even the type of girl that wants to

0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:58.560
<v Speaker 2>do some things to keep a person. But the fear

0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.360
<v Speaker 2>of being that vulnerable and that dependent on a person

0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:05.520
<v Speaker 2>because you are creating life in a baby but also

0:06:05.520 --> 0:06:09.160
<v Speaker 2>literally the life you are creating together. And then it's like,

0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:11.720
<v Speaker 2>what if this doesn't work out? What if this person

0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:13.280
<v Speaker 2>doesn't end up to be the person that I thought

0:06:13.320 --> 0:06:15.720
<v Speaker 2>they were. That is such a big thing for me.

0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:17.120
<v Speaker 2>So when she said that, I'm like, girl, I feel

0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:18.960
<v Speaker 2>seen as people out here that feel how I feel

0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:21.000
<v Speaker 2>like that is such an unsafe place to be in.

0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:22.760
<v Speaker 1>Then she good to use.

0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:26.599
<v Speaker 2>That's contradicting and requires healing. I'm like, oh, this girl

0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:28.479
<v Speaker 2>is screaming at me right now. She is not quiet

0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.120
<v Speaker 2>on the creek. Simply put, you can't want a man

0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.160
<v Speaker 2>to leave or refuse to trust him or give him

0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.839
<v Speaker 2>enough space to do so. Again, too much hyper independence

0:06:35.880 --> 0:06:39.400
<v Speaker 2>may require some separate healing. There's another comment that's the

0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:41.800
<v Speaker 2>last one I'll do. I am coach fancy. She says,

0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:43.560
<v Speaker 2>I feel her on being the oldest child and I'm

0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:45.800
<v Speaker 2>the only girl at that. We showed her so much

0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:47.719
<v Speaker 2>and are so used to taking care of everything and

0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.360
<v Speaker 2>everyone that we don't know what it feels like the

0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:52.279
<v Speaker 2>step back and be taken care of. Then when someone tries,

0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:55.120
<v Speaker 2>it's tough at times for us to just be without

0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:57.599
<v Speaker 2>trying to take care of things ourselves. I'm a work

0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.520
<v Speaker 2>in progress as well, girl, meet too, And it's not

0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.120
<v Speaker 2>even just like being with somebody like as a man

0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.640
<v Speaker 2>like I learned in my work career that it's really

0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:09.640
<v Speaker 2>tough for me to kind of just like I always

0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:11.240
<v Speaker 2>like to say, I'm a student, but being a student

0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.200
<v Speaker 2>is hard when you got to be vulnerable and trust

0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:16.560
<v Speaker 2>people's leadership and trust their words and note that even

0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:18.120
<v Speaker 2>if they hurt it and not the best things you want

0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.200
<v Speaker 2>to say, the intention is there, The intention is placed well.

0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:23.880
<v Speaker 1>So I look, go check out the conversation.

0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Y'all hit me up online, Laura la Rosa, everywhere, l

0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.000
<v Speaker 2>O R E N l O R O s A.

0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.880
<v Speaker 2>Tell me what y'all think about it. Only daughter's oldest child.

0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.680
<v Speaker 2>I saw some younger children. I saw only male kid

0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.320
<v Speaker 2>and the family male child in the family commenting. I

0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.640
<v Speaker 2>think we all can share a sense of community on this,

0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:45.240
<v Speaker 2>and I want to get into that conversation. And that

0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:47.400
<v Speaker 2>leads us right on into the latest because Mary J.

0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Blige and Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, in my opinion,

0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:53.360
<v Speaker 2>are doing just that. They are sharing us into community

0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:56.440
<v Speaker 2>around some real life issues. Man and Marriag J. Blige

0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:00.320
<v Speaker 2>gets very, very very deep in this conversation talk about

0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.040
<v Speaker 2>a range of things. Mary has had a career for

0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:05.840
<v Speaker 2>decades that has literally paved the way and open doors

0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.120
<v Speaker 2>for so many people. But behind the scenes, behind the

0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:09.840
<v Speaker 2>scenes of her grind, she was dealing with things as

0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.800
<v Speaker 2>well too. They talk a bit about, you know, some

0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.800
<v Speaker 2>of her childhood abuse, and we know Mary J. Blige

0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.760
<v Speaker 2>has talked about, you know, experiencing abuse as a child

0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.360
<v Speaker 2>and some of the different things that she's gone through,

0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.080
<v Speaker 2>and she gets emotional as they talk through it here

0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:24.880
<v Speaker 2>and talk about protecting our children and.

0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.320
<v Speaker 3>Sick listen have experienced that level of abuse, but they

0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:31.720
<v Speaker 3>haven't found a way through. I think the shame and

0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.760
<v Speaker 3>the guilt is what has people in so much pain.

0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:39.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:44.360
<v Speaker 3>But the forgiveness, the self forgiveness is where when the

0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:47.720
<v Speaker 3>guilt and shame starts to fade away, you know, you

0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:51.040
<v Speaker 3>still see it, You still like, wow, why did I happen?

0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.840
<v Speaker 3>Why did that happen to me? What did I do? Nothing,

0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:58.160
<v Speaker 3>It's happening to everybody. So forget, forgive yourself because it's

0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.640
<v Speaker 3>not your fault. No matter what you think, it's not

0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:04.000
<v Speaker 3>your fault. Forgive yourself and don't feel any guilt or

0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:07.120
<v Speaker 3>condemnation about it. And that's the word too. But yeah,

0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:11.720
<v Speaker 3>like I says, no guilt, no guilt, no guilt, no shame.

0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:15.960
<v Speaker 2>Now that leads into a really really interesting conversation about

0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:19.400
<v Speaker 2>children now marriage Oblige. I remember when she was promoting

0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:21.800
<v Speaker 2>good Morning Gorgeous. She was on a lot of press.

0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:24.880
<v Speaker 2>She was coming about her divorce. She was married to

0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.320
<v Speaker 2>Ken Due, who was like her manager, you know. Also

0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.839
<v Speaker 2>they were married fifteen years. A lot of things tied together,

0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:33.480
<v Speaker 2>but they never had any children, and people would always

0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:35.160
<v Speaker 2>try and have the conversation with her about why that

0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:37.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't happen. I feel like she got very honest about

0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.680
<v Speaker 2>it once she came up out of that divorce, in

0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:43.800
<v Speaker 2>that horrible situation and saying I didn't want she didn't

0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.200
<v Speaker 2>want kids because of just the things and all the

0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:48.800
<v Speaker 2>stuff it took. But hearing marriage Oblige talk about how

0:09:48.800 --> 0:09:51.120
<v Speaker 2>that changes when she gets older was important less sickularssen.

0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:56.040
<v Speaker 2>I found that you were very intentional on not having

0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:57.320
<v Speaker 2>children of your own.

0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Can you talk about why you chose not to.

0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.520
<v Speaker 3>I saw a lot of people struggling. I saw a

0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:05.160
<v Speaker 3>lot of you know, my family members needing babysitters and

0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:08.240
<v Speaker 3>them not having a choice, you know, no freedom. So

0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.679
<v Speaker 3>when you're younger, those are the words you make, Those

0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:12.840
<v Speaker 3>are the choices you make. I don't want any kids,

0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.679
<v Speaker 3>But then when you get older, you start to see

0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.559
<v Speaker 3>how valuable their teenagers are to them, their kids are

0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:26.040
<v Speaker 3>to them. So now it's like, oh man, But at

0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:26.960
<v Speaker 3>the same time, it's.

0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:30.000
<v Speaker 1>Like, that's what I'm saying, y'all.

0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.320
<v Speaker 2>I think on the surface level, it's like, oh, it's

0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:34.960
<v Speaker 2>the time, it's the patience, it's the money, it's all

0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:38.560
<v Speaker 2>the things. But it's also the vulnerability, Like you you

0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.800
<v Speaker 2>really have to have a good community set up when

0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.880
<v Speaker 2>you step into these different phases of your life.

0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:44.280
<v Speaker 1>Mary J.

0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.679
<v Speaker 2>Blige has also talked about, you know, because she had

0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:48.880
<v Speaker 2>to play can do that thirty thousand dollars a month

0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:51.800
<v Speaker 2>in alimony even though they didn't have kids. Once they split,

0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:54.400
<v Speaker 2>she was on tour when you know, she's doing all

0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:57.120
<v Speaker 2>the good morning, gorgeous and all the things, literally working

0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:58.800
<v Speaker 2>just to pay off what she needed to pay off

0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:00.760
<v Speaker 2>to get as far away from that or as she could.

0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.800
<v Speaker 2>And they did share step children together. But I think

0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:06.800
<v Speaker 2>everything that she went through just trying to get away

0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:10.520
<v Speaker 2>from him and everything where she is now, it's night

0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:14.040
<v Speaker 2>and day. And people always say, you know, like women

0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:15.960
<v Speaker 2>have to be put in this like soft space to

0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:18.120
<v Speaker 2>think about things differently. I don't feel like it's someone's

0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.640
<v Speaker 2>job to do that, if I'm being honest, Although I

0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 2>love to hear people give me more responsibility or whoever

0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:27.520
<v Speaker 2>your partner is, I think you have to put yourself

0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.040
<v Speaker 2>in a space where.

0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:32.480
<v Speaker 1>You understand what you need, what you want, and.

0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:34.920
<v Speaker 2>Where you're kind of falling short and being or not

0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.640
<v Speaker 2>being accountable on your end. Like my fear of vulnerability,

0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.040
<v Speaker 2>I know has stopped me from a lot of things.

0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:41.520
<v Speaker 2>And y'all will hear this and be like, girl, you'd

0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 2>be having us all in your business while you and

0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:45.600
<v Speaker 2>other people business. But I know kind of what my

0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.160
<v Speaker 2>boundaries are. I know the things that like, even if

0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.640
<v Speaker 2>I talk about it in real life, it's like double dutch,

0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:52.720
<v Speaker 2>like I'm scared to jump in about. And I think

0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:54.480
<v Speaker 2>once I can do the work and get myself to

0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:56.440
<v Speaker 2>the place where not only am I admitting that, but

0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:59.280
<v Speaker 2>I've actually worked on it, I think my tune won't

0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.480
<v Speaker 2>change a bit too, Like I've always known when I

0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:05.440
<v Speaker 2>wanted kids, but actually planning them in real life and

0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:09.240
<v Speaker 2>setting timelines for myself whole new day, brand new day. Okay,

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.200
<v Speaker 2>but that's because I'm coming about of some things and

0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:14.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm really starting to have real conversations with myself about

0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:18.520
<v Speaker 2>why I was fighting you know, children and engagement and

0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:20.920
<v Speaker 2>all these things for all these years. Granted, I don't

0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.400
<v Speaker 2>think i've you know, ever thought this seriously about that

0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.560
<v Speaker 2>part of my life because of the people that the

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.480
<v Speaker 2>person I didn't have in my life. Then like now,

0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:32.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, circumstances is different, the person is different as well.

0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:34.160
<v Speaker 2>But I think even outside of the person, like you

0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.439
<v Speaker 2>have to be ready to meet the challenge, like being

0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:40.840
<v Speaker 2>married again doesn't automatically just change things or change a person,

0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:43.280
<v Speaker 2>like it takes you to be in a cur like

0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 2>you got to be in game old. You know, parenting hits,

0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 2>children hits, balancing, career hits. And I think that's where

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.880
<v Speaker 2>even when people hesitate, when when I hear women hesitate

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:55.480
<v Speaker 2>about having children young, a lot of it is career too.

0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.080
<v Speaker 2>I know that it's been that for me as well. So,

0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, just listening to this conversation and see MARYA

0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.240
<v Speaker 2>j Oblige talk about the pain that has been bestold

0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.280
<v Speaker 2>on her from others in the roleblocks that have been

0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.560
<v Speaker 2>placed in her life, but taking accountability for where she

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.439
<v Speaker 2>messed up as she was trying to get over.

0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:12.000
<v Speaker 1>Them, and just being human. It did something to me.

0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.280
<v Speaker 2>So go take a listen to that conversation, y'all and

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 2>let me know how y'all are feeling about it. There's

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:19.960
<v Speaker 2>a lot of deep conversation happening to day. I'm Laura

0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.920
<v Speaker 2>la Rosa everywhere l O R e N l O

0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:26.720
<v Speaker 2>R O s A. I tell you, guys, every single episode,

0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.960
<v Speaker 2>y'all could be anywhere with any old body talking about

0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:30.520
<v Speaker 2>all of these things. But you guys, she used to

0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:32.360
<v Speaker 2>be with me, my little riders. I appreciate you, and

0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:33.600
<v Speaker 2>I'll catch you and my next one.