1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: This is Let's be clear with Shannon Doherty. Hello, my friends, 2 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: welcome to this wonderful podcast. I am honored to be 3 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: here as a guest. I love that you all have 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: a different one every time. This is all in the 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: spirit of Shannon. I know you spend a long time 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: love and listen to her. And I am Melissa Ethridge 7 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: and I'm looking forward to chatting with you a little today. 8 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: I want to bring the topic of love and fear 9 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: and the importance of joy. Now. I know we lost 10 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: Shannon to cancer, and I myself was a cancer I 11 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: experienced cancer. Let's say that. I like to call myself 12 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: a thriver. Now. I don't think I'm just surviving. I 13 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: believe I'm thriving. It was twenty years ago I had 14 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: my experienceperience with cancer, and my life has been very different. 15 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: And I tell people, I let them know that cancer 16 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: was actually the best thing that happened to me. I 17 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 1: know we've lost many people that we love. I know 18 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: there's many of us who are out there right now 19 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: dealing with it that are very fearful. Well, let me 20 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 1: tell you my experience. That's all I can do is 21 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: tell you my story, because that's all we are is 22 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: our stories now. If you aren't familiar with me, I 23 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: am a singer, songwriter. A people ask me what I am. 24 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: I say I'm a rock star because I like that. 25 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: I like to let people know that I write songs 26 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: and entertain and I've always loved that. I grew up 27 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: in the Midwest in the sixties and seventies, and it 28 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: was very well my family. I didn't have a a 29 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: terribly bad childhood. I had a very quiet childhood, I 30 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 1: like to say, because I grew up in the time 31 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: where my parents lived that life of if there's anything 32 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: wrong in the family, you don't talk about it, you 33 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: don't air your dirty laundry, you put it, you know, 34 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: under you pretend everything's okay. And as I grew, as 35 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: I became a teenager and adolescence, I realized that my 36 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: mother was incredibly unhappy. She was very intelligent. She had 37 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,399 Speaker 1: a job working, which was unusual in the seventies, and 38 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: she actually made more money than my father. But the 39 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: work that she did, she was one of the first 40 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: computer programmers. If you know the movie Hidden Figures, that's 41 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: what she was. She worked in those big rooms and 42 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: she programmed the computers and she did it at the 43 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: army base which was next to our town of Leavenworth, Kansas, 44 00:02:56,040 --> 00:03:02,080 Speaker 1: and she would work and never get the credit and 45 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,919 Speaker 1: certainly got paid half as much as anyone else was 46 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: getting paid around her. And she'll see she was very unhappy, 47 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: and so I was really looking forward to getting out 48 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: of that experience. My father, on the other hand, was 49 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 1: a high school teacher. He was a coach. He was 50 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: a really great guy. He supported my crazy dream of 51 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,519 Speaker 1: being a rock star by actually taking me on the 52 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: weekends to play in bands in bars and clubs around. 53 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: I had a very unusual childhood, I realize, but it 54 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: was those experiences that that sort of set me up. 55 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: And as I look back, I don't look back and 56 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: want to change anything or think that it was bad. 57 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: I look back and I'm again grateful for that experience 58 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: because it enriched my life. It made me want, It 59 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: made me desire, and as I went through and tumbled 60 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: through my life and had loves and realized I was 61 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: gay and lived in the world in the eighties as 62 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: a as a gay woman in southern California, which was 63 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: very delightful and very educational. There's a lot of women, 64 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: a lot of feminists in southern California in the eighties. 65 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: That shaped sort of the person that I am now, 66 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: so that when success finally came to me, I had 67 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: a good, solid foundation sort of in feminism and then 68 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 1: was able to achieve my greatest dreams. You know, I 69 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: played Madison Square Garden. My dreams came true. I had albums, 70 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: thousands of people listening to my music and wanting to 71 00:04:51,440 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: hear my music. And yet personally I was unhappy. I 72 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,359 Speaker 1: was unfulfilled. I didn't understand what relationships were. I was 73 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: in a cold relationship or relationship that I kept thinking 74 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: I had to make that person happy. I kept thinking 75 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,279 Speaker 1: their job was to make me happy. And I'm telling you, 76 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: when you think someone else is supposed to make you happy, 77 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: that is the first ingredient in unhappiness. Your happiness is 78 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 1: your choice. Your happiness is your job, your responsibility. A 79 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: lot of people, well, they think differently, but this is 80 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: what I believe. I was going through a divorce, my 81 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: first divorce. I was just trying to figure out who 82 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: I was. I had two children. I didn't want them 83 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: to have a broken home. I thought I had failed 84 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: at that, I had failed at relationships. I'd failed the 85 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,919 Speaker 1: lg BTQ community by being a role model and then 86 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: doing it all wrong in my mind mind? And what 87 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: became of that stress and that desire to keep that 88 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: fame that I had by eating less and trying to 89 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: look a certain way and trying to be something, trying 90 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: to fit in. When when the nineties went from singer 91 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: songwriters to more pop music, I was like where do 92 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: I fit in? And I started just burning up with stress. 93 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: And this fear of losing everything and doing it wrong 94 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 1: and what other people thought of me was the beginning 95 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 1: of my cancer. It's very very lonely, very hard when 96 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:58,920 Speaker 1: you're living your life afraid of what other people think 97 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: about you. That's crazy making you can't ever get out 98 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: of that hole. So I'll tell you. Being diagnosed with 99 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: cancer stopped my life all of a sudden. I was like, 100 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: wait a minute, this is life and death. Now we're 101 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: talking about why is cancer with me? Yes? Cancer was 102 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: in my family. I'd lost my father cancer, my grandmother. 103 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: It was the way my body absorbed stress. It's the 104 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: way my body reacted to stress, and the way I 105 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: was eating. It was living on Vinti, Starbucks and power bars. 106 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: It was all just acid acid. Acid and acid is 107 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: what creates cancer. The environment around cells in your body. 108 00:07:55,680 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: That environment changes the cells to cancer cells, and all 109 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: of a sudden, you've got these rogue cancer cells that 110 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: are living in acid, and your body puts a tumor 111 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: over it. So that you'll know and maybe you'll change, 112 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: Maybe you'll change something. And the ones that survive are 113 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: the ones that change and do not fear change. Change 114 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: is everything. Changes is what you can do every single morning. 115 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: Change is what you can do right now. Changing your 116 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: mind is what you can do right now. I threw 117 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: myself into books and spiritual teachings. Nothing, nothing organized organized religion. 118 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: That's That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 119 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: your own relationship with your inner person, that that voice 120 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: in your head. Some of the books that I started reading, 121 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,599 Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard of Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements. 122 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it's like a handbook to the human, 123 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: the whole human. If you if if you want to know, oh, 124 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,920 Speaker 1: what's what? What? What? Four things can I do to 125 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: have my body run better, have my body run in 126 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 1: at at optimal speed and joy? Well, these are the things. 127 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: Don't take anything personally see don't take anything personally. That's 128 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: probably the hardest. I took everything personally. If someone I 129 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: used to. I used to think it was a badge 130 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: of honor to be able to walk into a room 131 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: and think I knew what everybody was thinking. And that's 132 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:14,559 Speaker 1: the second agreement. Do not assume. I assumed all the time. Oh, 133 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: that person likes me. That person doesn't. Oh, my partner's mad. 134 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: They're mad at me. It comes from my mother. I 135 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: thought she was unhappy because of me. She was unhappy 136 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:28,960 Speaker 1: because she was unhappy. And when you start going, okay, 137 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: my happiness is my responsibility. I choose, and that's where 138 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: love and fear comes in. Is the choice. We all 139 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: have a choice every day about how we feel about anything. 140 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: Nobody can make us feel. If you find yourself saying 141 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: oh they made me feel sad, no, you observed something 142 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 1: and you chose to feel sad. I started playing a 143 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: game with myself. I would I traveled a lot, so 144 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: I'd be in the airport a lot, so I was 145 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:12,079 Speaker 1: around strangers a lot, and I would I would I 146 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: would see someone and where I might assume right away, 147 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: oh that person is angry at this. I played this 148 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: game called Tell a different story. And if my initial 149 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: reaction was Oh, that person's mad, Oh that person's mean, 150 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: Oh that person whatever, I would switch it in my 151 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: head and go, No, that person is an incredible sensitive 152 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: person who might have had something really horrible happened to 153 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: them just a few minutes ago, and they're fearful and 154 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: they don't understand, and so they are speaking it out 155 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: and it has nothing to do with me, not my business. 156 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: I used to see. I used to even go so 157 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 1: far as to someone I remember in an airport. I 158 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: didn't understand. I saw someone who absolutely looked homeless, yet 159 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: they were in an airport waiting for an airplane. They 160 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: were like wearing a trash bag, and it just twisted 161 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: my mind and I went, wait a minute, this is 162 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: not a homeless person. This is the son of a 163 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: billionaire who is messed up about money and he doesn't 164 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: know what to do, you know. And I just I 165 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: changed these stories in my head. And when you do that, 166 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 1: you change the way your whole world looks. Get curious, 167 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: study study your own biology. Study what makes the human 168 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: brain work. The human brain is amazing, and yeah, we 169 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: only use part of it. We don't even understand how 170 00:12:56,120 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: what we see and how we perceive it creates around us. 171 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,559 Speaker 1: So when I understood that there is a choice between 172 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: love and fear all the time, that these are the 173 00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 1: dual things that are happening. We live in a dualistic universe. 174 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: There's this reality is dualistic. There's light and dark, up 175 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:26,600 Speaker 1: and down, good and bad, and you can't have one 176 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: without the other. And because we have both, we see, 177 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: we experience. You know, there's life and death that's going 178 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: to happen to all of us. The third agreement is 179 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:47,120 Speaker 1: be impeccable with your word. Now, some people think, well, 180 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm honest, but it means so much more than that. 181 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: It means that everything you say, everything you create in 182 00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: your mind and then it comes outthing is important, everything creates. 183 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,959 Speaker 1: Being impeccable with your word is not just what you 184 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 1: say out to other people, but what you say to yourself. 185 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: And as women, man, we are the worst at what 186 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: we say to ourselves. What do you say to yourself? 187 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: The moment you wake up is your first thought, I 188 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: shouldn't have had that chocolate cake last night. Oh I'm 189 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: so fat, I'm so we are we are so mean 190 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: to ourselves sometimes, I you would think, as a rock star. Oh, 191 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: she doesn't have any problem? Are you kidding? When when 192 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: all I used to do is compare myself to other 193 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: female artists, to movie stars, to people you'd see on 194 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 1: the screen, it was it was torture. And I know 195 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: what other women are going through. It isn't it is not, 196 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: and nobody escapes it. You're not thin enough, you're not 197 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: pretty enough. It's why, inexplicably, these women that we think 198 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: are so beautiful will get their face is done because 199 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: it never ends. There's no there is not a woman 200 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: that's like, that's right, I'm the most beautiful and I'm 201 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: fine with it. No, we all torture ourselves because of 202 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: this culture we live in. So it took a while 203 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 1: for me after cancer. I would get up every day 204 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: and I would look in the mirror and I looked 205 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: like hell. For a while after cow was bald as gray, ashy, 206 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 1: it was not good. I would look at myself in 207 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: the mirror and I'd say, hello, gorgeous, Hello, gorgeous. I 208 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 1: just leave it at that. I wouldn't think about it. 209 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: I wouldn't let myself go, oh you're not gorgeous or something. 210 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 1: It's just boom, Hello, gorgeous until now. It took a 211 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: couple of years until one day I went, hello, gorgeous, 212 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: and I looked and I went, ah, oh, I am gorgeous. 213 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: I believe it. People say seeing is believing. Believing. You 214 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: got to believe it first, then you will see it. 215 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 1: You will never see it if you don't believe it. 216 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: So you just you just water that part of you. 217 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: You keep it going. You go as long as you 218 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: can in your day with good thoughts. I mean I 219 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: would have like thoughts already written down. Things good things 220 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 1: that make me happy. Oh the way my children smiled, 221 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:52,120 Speaker 1: Oh my dog, Oh when I looked out this window. 222 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. That appreciation, appreciation and love are the 223 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 1: same thing. The feeling of appreciation and the feet of 224 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: love the same thing. So find things to appreciate. First 225 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: thing in the morning. You're gonna get up bam. You're 226 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,119 Speaker 1: gonna be impeccable with what you say to yourself. The 227 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: things we say to ourselves, would we ever say them 228 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 1: to anyone else? Make sure those words, those things are 229 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: true and kind. If you want a kind world, especially now, 230 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 1: which we might be on the fearful side of when 231 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 1: we are choosing how we think about the world right now, 232 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,719 Speaker 1: there's a lot of fear. Well, if you want a 233 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 1: kinder world, you got to be kind. You've got to 234 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: believe kind You've got to believe that kindness exists. You've 235 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: got to find kindness. You've got to walk down the 236 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 1: street and think, I'm expecting kindness from this person, and 237 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:17,400 Speaker 1: then you'll see it. And that's how we change. That's 238 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 1: how we change, not only ourselves, but the world around 239 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: us is how we perceive it. And the fourth, the 240 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: fourth agreement, that's the easiest. Just do your best, do 241 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:39,159 Speaker 1: your best. If you just do your best, then you 242 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: can't be hard on yourself. If your intention is, oh 243 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,960 Speaker 1: I want to live a healthy life. I want to 244 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: be healthy, I would definitely put health before weight. Oh lord, 245 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,719 Speaker 1: how much we weigh? Like there's an optimal weight for people? 246 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,439 Speaker 1: There is not. There is where we land is We 247 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 1: are human beings and what is the healthiest thing? What 248 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: is the healthiest for us? Think about health every day. Now, 249 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 1: some of us we are under the influence of sugar, 250 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 1: of substances that make us feel good because we are not. 251 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 1: We don't we're not allowing ourselves to feel good about 252 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: things and so we turn to things that physologically make 253 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:44,600 Speaker 1: us feel good. Sugar is one. So I cut down 254 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:49,199 Speaker 1: on sugar. I understood. I understand even now that sugar 255 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,640 Speaker 1: is sugar does a number on our body, and refined 256 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:59,479 Speaker 1: sugar probably the worst I would I did. I went 257 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 1: through my life and I took all refined sugar out 258 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: and it means just you know that going for a 259 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 1: Snickers bar, that's that's not the choice anymore. That's gonna 260 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: hurt me. You know what, if I need that sugar, 261 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: if I'm feeling down and I want to do something 262 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 1: and I want to feel better, I'm going to make 263 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: something or I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal of granola, 264 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna look and it's gonna be you know, 265 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 1: sweetened with honey, which is which is a type of sugar. 266 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,640 Speaker 1: It's just less refined and so as it hits your body, 267 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: it doesn't, you know, put the glycemic level up, It doesn't, 268 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 1: It doesn't hurt your body as much, but you're still 269 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: getting that sweet that makes you feel good. And then 270 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 1: another thought to put in your head. My life is 271 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: sweet enough. I have a sweet life. There are sweet 272 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: things in my life. My children are sweet my lover 273 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: is sweet. Oh this music that I love, it's sweet. 274 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: This book that I love, this television show, I love 275 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 1: this walk that I take, these clothes that I wear, 276 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:16,360 Speaker 1: they're sweet. I have sweetness in my life. And then 277 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: those days when someone's got that favorite thing that you love, 278 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: that cheesecake, you love, that carrot cake or whatever it is, 279 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 1: go you know what? I love myself. I love this. 280 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: This isn't going to hurt me will I will eat it. 281 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: And it's one thing to eat sugar. But the thing 282 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: that's really going to get you is if you feel 283 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 1: horrible about eating the sugar. That horrible feeling will make 284 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:52,959 Speaker 1: you sicker than just eating the piece of cake. If 285 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: you're going to eat it, celebrate it. I deserve this. 286 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: This is something I love in my life. This makes 287 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: me think about this, and it's going to go through 288 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: my body. I'm going to feel the effects of it. 289 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to love it, and it's going to move 290 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: through and move on. Be impeccable, impeccable with your word, 291 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 1: what you're saying to yourself. It's all about you, not 292 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 1: about anybody else. You don't need anyone else to do 293 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: anything to make you okay. To make you feel better. 294 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 1: Only you can make you feel better. You have a 295 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: choice of love and fear every day. You can look 296 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 1: at a piece of cake and you can love it 297 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:44,360 Speaker 1: or you can fear it. And then the responses you make, 298 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: the reactions you make come from love and fear. You 299 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 1: can look at someone and you can choose to love 300 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 1: them or fear them. You might say, oh, how can 301 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: I possibly love this person? You know, you don't understand that, 302 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: you don't know how horrible this person is. You know, well, 303 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: get basic, Get as basic as you can, and find 304 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 1: a place of appreciation. I could go on and on, 305 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 1: and I guess that's what this podcast is for. But 306 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: as I close this up for you, I want to 307 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:34,920 Speaker 1: I want to emphasize that health enjoy are partners. I'm 308 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 1: now sixty three and I want to live a long time. 309 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: I have three children that I want to see grow. 310 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,440 Speaker 1: I want grandchildren. There's so much more I want to 311 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: do and create in this life. So I plan to 312 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: keep my meat suit. I plan to keep it strong, 313 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: and I know that starts with a strong mind, strong thoughts. 314 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to think about joy every day. Joy is 315 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: primary when a request comes in, when something comes in, 316 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,920 Speaker 1: first thing, as is this going to bring me? Joy? 317 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,679 Speaker 1: Is this going to bring and if joy is a 318 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: weird thing for you to think about, say satisfaction. Is 319 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: this a satisfying thought that what I'm thinking about this 320 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:29,360 Speaker 1: person or this place or this instance, or where I'm 321 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 1: going or whatever it is. Is this a satisfying thought? 322 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: Choose a better thought. You can change your life absolutely. 323 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 1: Read things go down crazy spiritual thoughts. If you are 324 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: dealing with cancer, know that this is a time for 325 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: you to change. And it's not about anybody else and 326 00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 1: what they think you should do. It's about you. Our 327 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:08,120 Speaker 1: medical system is set up to do what it can, 328 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:13,360 Speaker 1: but it really is all up to you. Yeah, it's 329 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: not a it's not a burden. Responsibility is not a burden. 330 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 1: It's your ability to respond. How are you going to 331 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 1: respond to this situation? Well, you're gonna you're going to 332 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: not assume anything. You're going to tell the best story 333 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: about everyone. You're not going to take anything personally. You 334 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: don't know when anyone else has been through. You're going 335 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:43,399 Speaker 1: to walk with your own light. You're gonna you're gonna 336 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,679 Speaker 1: do your best. You're going to know when you go 337 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: to sleep at night, you know what. It might have 338 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: turned out horrible, but I did the best I could, 339 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: and tomorrow I'm going to get up. I'm going to 340 00:25:53,440 --> 00:26:00,199 Speaker 1: do the best I can again. Now, you're beautiful, more 341 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,639 Speaker 1: beautiful than you know. You're more powerful than you know. 342 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:09,159 Speaker 1: We've got this every day because the more light that 343 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: comes from you, the more light there is in the world. 344 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: I hope I shared my light with you. I hope 345 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: you have enjoyed this. I'd love taking this time and 346 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: sharing it with you. Be strong, speak true, spread the peace, 347 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 1: and choose only love. It's a choice. Thank you very much.