WEBVTT - Resting Rich Face Feat. Toni Jones 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:03.040 Yes, I'm in the middle of it, of it, or 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:05.880 I've gone through it, or I'm on my third round 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:08.400 and be like, that's it. That's where you get the 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:11.799 magic juiciness because you're feeling the ship that you've kind 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:20.680 of too much. Do y'all know, do y'all? Let me 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:24.320 tell y'all. Do y'all know? Ten years into intentional journey 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:29.520 and healing trauma, last year, I just found out that 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:31.160 I had a mother wound. 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:56.080 Welcome back to Good MoMA's Bad Choices. I'm Erica. Happy 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:02.000 Wednesday Tribe. How you're doing? Happy Wednesday Day? I'm feeling good. Yeah, 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.560 you look cute. We got the green boots on. 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:06.960 You know, I really love these boots. I only want 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:08.920 on a handful of times. I'm always trying to find 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.840 like reasons to I. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.399 Don't think you need a reason. I think it's I 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.800 think they just they're they're in all the time type 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:15.600 of boot they are. 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:15.880 I don't know. 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:18.120 If you guys notice, I'm a boot bitch. I love 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.160 a good boot, a cowboy boot, any boot. 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:21.680 I love it. 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:24.760 And if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube channel, you 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:29.080 should definitely do that. We sometimes we do what is it? 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:33.800 What does the drip check, the drip check? We do 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:35.960 the drip check today? Should we do a drip check? 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:40.560 The drip check? So we have Jamila here in a 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.880 satin short set. If you're watching YouTube, she just gave 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:48.120 us a little sexy little dance. Oh yes, she's tiny, 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.400 but she's thick as fuck. Okay. And then she has 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:57.120 on the green cowprint boots, slight lime neon green color. 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:03.760 And oh look at that fat Wow wow wow. I 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:05.440 don't know what any of these designers are so like 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:08.000 they are They are unknown, but very very expensive. 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.080 They are probably China. 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:15.160 They are Italian leather, Italian from the from the factories 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:21.799 of China, silks, maybe Paliesta, slightly leopard print. 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:26.320 And these are from my favorite Steve Madden, the Fashions 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:27.480 of the high End of Stephen. 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:28.240 What's it like that? 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:32.440 Stephen mad Stephen Madden mad Madame? It's this. 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:34.080 It's a French Stephen Stephen ma. 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.160 Name is Stepte. 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:43.400 Oh these oh, these are from Steffan Modern. Who Stefan Modern? 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:47.600 Oh you know, you wouldn't know. It's very exclusive, very 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:50.560 very foreign, very exclusive. You wouldn't know anything. 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.160 These are from These are from a unicorn. 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:57.079 Actually, this is this is a unicorn cow of green. 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:01.400 You wouldn't know anything about it because it's Italian. It's 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:02.600 a green unicorn cow. 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:03.280 Wow. 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:05.000 And my, my, my. 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:10.960 Dear wife here she is wearing are those spice shiny spanex. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:14.640 It's a shiny spandex and she's going shiny spanex with 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:18.440 a hinted glitter. It's formal but it's comfortable. It's formal 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:23.079 but it's comfortable. Her shoulders are sparkling and also they 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:24.040 have shoulder pads. 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.679 She's being like modern but retro. 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:28.560 Girl. 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.720 And she's of course with Doc Martin's. Doc Martin would 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:33.840 love a sponsorship. 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:35.480 I would because I'm. 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:40.720 Like a badass, but because jam So if you have 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.280 missed the YouTube, now's the time to check in. 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:54.760 Wow, everyone really needed that anyway. Anyway, I'm really excited 0:03:54.840 --> 0:04:01.480 to introduce our guest today. We have been uh stalking 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:05.760 you for a bit via Spotify, using all of your 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:13.680 amazing music to inspire daily nightly. You actually came to 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:16.760 us through the tribe, so I'm always excited when we 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:20.000 get a guest on that is literally passed on through 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:23.720 the community. Shout out to Latiana. She actually joined us 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:27.240 on our Costa Rica good Vibra treat last year and 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:31.280 she shared shared you with me. So I'm just really 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:35.440 excited to invite to the show Tony Jones. She is 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:41.800 an affirmation musician and just blessing the world with self love. 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.239 Yes, it's an honor to be here, seeing you guys 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:50.279 on Instagram, hearing you guys talk about all the things. 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:52.640 It's just really beautiful to be here. So thank you 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:55.200 for sharing who I am and what I do in 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:56.640 the world with your platform. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.359 Yes, you're super grateful. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:00.120 I was just telling her before, when you're in the 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.839 other room that somebody else who I'm in school with, 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:04.080 it's also part of our tribe. 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:06.279 She told me. It was like, oh yeah, and if 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:08.040 you're Tony Jones, you don't know who that is. 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:09.520 And I was like, and I looked you up, so 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:13.719 it's like, you know, yes, yeah, the circles are close. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:17.160 Yes, we're attracting all the witchy women and I love it. 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.760 Yes, when I saw you guys, I was like, oh, Sis, 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.440 what up? See you soon, see you soon? 0:05:22.600 --> 0:05:26.040 Right, So it really be like that, like, oh, sure 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:27.840 we know three people who might know each other. 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:29.960 I'll see you soon. Like I don't have to worry 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:31.520 it's like I want you and I and I will 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:34.240 see you. Every time I do it, it always happens. 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:36.040 I was like, yep, I knew it, and. 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:36.520 It's so funny. 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:37.960 We had a guest here before you and we're like, oh, 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:39.480 so and SO is coming. She's like, oh, maybe i'll 0:05:39.520 --> 0:05:40.520 hang out and wait and huger. 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.159 I was like, okay. You know what I was also 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.200 thinking too, is that so many people find us through 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:52.599 audio and listening to your voice through audio. I had 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:54.440 no idea what you look like until maybe like a 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.280 few days ago, to be honest, no, I know. So 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:58.760 I went on your Instagram and I was like, wow, 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:02.200 it's so interesting, like hearing person's voice and then attaching 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:04.640 like I really didn't. I didn't really put a lot 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:06.719 of I didn't know what to imagine. I knew that 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:08.599 you had to be this beautiful woman because you have 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:12.080 this beautiful voice and this beautiful energy that that radiates 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:13.000 through year music. 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:16.159 I get it from my mom. 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.039 But yeah, and I would imagine that sometimes that's how 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:21.279 people feel when they listen to the podcast, Like I 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:24.279 think people have literally heard our voices in passing and 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:27.720 be like you could Mom's bad choices like I've never 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.280 seen you before. I just heard your voice and it 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:31.280 sounds familiar, and I'm like, wow, that's so crazy. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.599 That yeah, that happened to me in a public bathroom stall. 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:36.480 I was like talking to someone and they're like, do 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:37.280 you have a podcast? 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:41.360 I was like, I do, Like interesting, I'm like a 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:46.320 radio personality, but not so tony. Can you tell us 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.880 and share with us? You're like, just a little bit 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.120 about you, like how did you? Where are you from? 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:59.080 From the d Yeah, I was a live coach for 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:02.520 six seven years, you know, helping young people in Detroit 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:07.720 public high schools and coaching women how to heal from workoholism. 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:08.720 Oh wow. 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:19.680 I started that twenty twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, and I 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:24.200 started these messages when it was like you know, getting 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:28.600 your bag, your bad bitch, you know, team no sleep, 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.320 you know. So I was very My message was very 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:35.200 counter culture because I was like hell from workholism, self love, 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:39.200 mental health. So it was a minute before it started 0:07:39.240 --> 0:07:41.880 to like, you know, spill over into the culture. And 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:46.360 so as a life coach, I found myself like burning out. 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:48.400 You know. I saw a lot of my clients and 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:53.040 audience benefit from the depletion of me, and I was like, man, God, 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:56.040 you gotta give me something that's going to help you know, 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.480 my clients and the women practice well being on to 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:04.080 go and through literally through prayameditation, I got the idea 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:06.680 of affirmation music and I was like, ooh, let me 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.160 google that. And so when I googled it, I didn't 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:13.400 find anything that coined affirmation music. I was like, what, 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.520 I get to do this, and so I went to 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.360 I actually came to LA four month and this was 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:26.000 years ago, well twenty eighteen, and I took all my journals, 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:29.840 all my notes from retreats, you know, workshops that I've 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:34.880 been to, and even personal writings you know, and came 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:37.439 to LA and wrote Affirmations for the Girl and Ask 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:41.480 a Woman, you know, which is nine songs that I wanted. 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.000 This was the trick because I was like, I want 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:47.920 these nine songs to represent the nine months it takes 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:51.360 a woman to grow a child. So as soon as 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:56.160 they pushed play no, there's like no going back. You 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:58.920 immediately start growing the woman of your dreams. And so 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.440 I was like, this is going to help my coaching business. 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.360 I'm going to be a successful life coach. Yo. I 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:09.640 released that album and Women's hit during Women's History Month three, 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:14.760 nineteen nineteen, and I released that album two weeks later, 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:19.320 All Hell broke, lose, my life completely changed, lost my job, house, 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.000 all type of stuff, house broken, just all it was 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:27.440 just crazy. And then I think like a year later, 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:30.120 I decided, you know what, I need to become an 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.360 afrom I think there's something here with this because I 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.560 was like this the first time I created something without 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.720 a doubt and so and it was like the I 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.840 was getting some coins. So that's kind of like the 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:45.120 backdrop of like how I got into this like this. 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:48.360 I never had you know, becoming a musician on my 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.319 vision board, no shit like that. It was never into 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.199 I wasn't never saw myself as an artist, so it 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.040 was all surprised. So it was like, you know, being 0:09:57.040 --> 0:10:02.360 an ambitious woman and being a nerd, you know, logic 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.760 and things like that. I was just like, Wow, there's 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:10.480 dreams happening that I didn't plan, that I didn't strategically 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:11.680 put intention behind. 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.320 Well, I think, wow, I mean that's I relate to 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:16.440 that so much because I think when you don't have expectation, 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.520 it removes the fear. Yeah, you know, and I think 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:21.960 that speaks to like me and Jamila's business here. It's 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:24.520 like we started this shit low key by accident. It 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.120 was not with it, but but for some reason, like 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.400 it was the first thing we created or I created. 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:32.200 And I think Mila too can speak to this without doubt. Yeah, 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:33.080 without a lot of doubt. 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:34.520 Fun, Yeah, there wasn't. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:34.800 There wasn't. 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:37.200 Don't put all this pressure on yourself to like perform 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:40.120 or like to like hit this, like hit any any point. 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.400 Yes, Like let's put this out. I feel good about this. 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.720 Yes, And that made me feel like, Okay, how much 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:46.800 more can I unplan my life? 0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:47.319 Right? 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.560 Let's see what kind of magic happens when I unplan it. 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:54.240 Let me take some stuff off and leave more space. 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.200 So in between then and now, I mean, it's been 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:03.680 a few fuck boys, you know, situationships, distractions, and through 0:11:03.720 --> 0:11:06.800 every one of them, they've been initiations into the highest, 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:11.360 highest version of me as a woman. And I'm grateful 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.200 for all those experiences. You know. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.079 Yeah, I think that's so like, that's so true. 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:21.280 Like I think we have such a strong grip on 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:25.800 like the what we want to happen, and sometimes it's 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:30.560 really in like uh, maybe having an aspiration but releasing 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.520 the how or like exactly how it looks, you know, 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:35.040 like you wanted to help people. You wanted to be 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:37.040 a life coach, and essentially that's what you're doing, but 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.560 in the different you know, over a different medium. And 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.480 it's like, you know, I think we had a clear idea, 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:45.280 like we needed we needed to like see representation. We 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:49.160 wanted to see like more single like single moms, like 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.559 what's going on like another the other single moms are 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:52.240 living their lives? 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:53.280 What the fuck where are you at? 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.120 And it wasn't like it was just like this notions 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.360 like we had an intention, but there wasn't so much 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:01.280 like there's not so much pressure built up behind it, 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:04.800 like performing, and so it's just like the release of 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.000 the release of the planning and the like detail of 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:12.600 how it looks sometimes really is what like like catapults 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.400 it to exist and like and take form in ways 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.920 that you like your mind hasn't even grasped yet, you know. 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:21.559 Yeah, And it's actually given you the muscle to understand 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:25.360 the energy of abundance. Because you do less, you receive more. 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:30.120 You know, part of abundance is resting, right, you know 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:33.080 what I'm saying, Just chill like how we garden. You know, 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.560 It's like we're not always over the seed, Like okay, 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:41.640 you ready, come on, how much sun? Come on, sunshine 0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:43.960 get it. You know we're not doing that. 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:47.080 That's just like I'm gonna water you and leave you here. Yeah. 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:49.520 I had a plant die when we were in Costa Rica. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:51.319 It's been a why for two years and my dad 0:12:51.360 --> 0:12:53.160 must have forgot to water it because it's like in 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:54.680 a weird place and I was like what the fuck, 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:56.600 and Orlanda was like throw it away. 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.160 I was like no, I like. 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.559 Watered it, put it in front, put it in front 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:01.920 of the sun, and I think it's dead to hell. 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:03.559 And I was like no, no, no, And like. 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:06.480 The other day, I was like like one little leaf 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:10.160 and I was like, ah, I knew you would come back, 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.480 but I had no like like I'm like, if you die, 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:14.200 it's cool. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:15.520 You've given me a good two years. 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:17.840 But like I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep like trying 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:18.280 because I. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.040 Love you, you. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:21.480 Know, but it's just like yeah, like that that that 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:23.720 idea is that like I know that you have the 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:27.000 ability to re sprout and re like and to exist, 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:29.040 and I'm just gonna like do the things that I 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:31.440 know make you exist or feed myself and the way 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.280 that I like, I need to nourish my my myself 0:13:34.320 --> 0:13:37.640 and then the dreams and the accomplishments will kind of 0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:39.959 be fruitful when it's time. 0:13:40.120 --> 0:13:43.400 You know, that's the equation for sure. 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:47.280 I think hearing that you were life coach and that 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:51.319 you helped women who you know, struggle with this idea 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:54.520 of overworking, it's so interesting to me, especially because this 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.560 month we're talking about money, and you know, in previous 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:00.760 themed months around money that we've done on it has 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:03.600 been heavily in finance, but this month we've been really 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:07.480 tapping into different sources of currency, right, And I think 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:11.240 that a lot of times are our worth is wrapped 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:14.520 up in our in our in literally like financial like 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:19.560 how much money we make, or how how much we 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:23.160 how much output we're putting out, you know, the overworking idea. 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.640 And I think that's so I've never heard of a 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.680 life coach that focuses on kind of the unlearning of 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:35.040 that concept and that idea. I do feel like now 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.240 in society there's still this idea of like get to 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.640 the bag and yeah, and you know, I feel like 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:45.160 Team No Sleep has died more for sure, and that 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.440 there is more I think. I think with the with 0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.960 the pandemic, it kind of shifted everything into like kind 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:54.160 of pouring back into yourself, figuring out what it is 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:56.640 that you know, what self care looks like for you. 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:01.360 But there's still such I think still amongst women too, 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:09.000 there's still such a demand and a expectation, especially because 0:15:09.000 --> 0:15:11.320 we are stepping into a space and time where we 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.120 are the heads of households and we want to be 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:18.440 in ways, and there's this pressure that if you aren't still, 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.640 if you aren't performing, and if you aren't creating, or 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:24.560 you aren't doing something, that's like you're showing your work 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:29.880 that you're worthless. Yeah, you know, yeah, and and and 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.400 that's not a and that's not a slight to the 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.120 woman who enjoys work, because I'm one of those women. 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.240 I actually really enjoy working. I don't necessarily. I think 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.360 it's because I found my purpose and so it drives me. However, 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.800 it has drained me too, you know in times and 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:51.320 like really needing needing affirmations, needing voice, needing to hear 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:54.360 my voice and and or someone else's voice to say 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:57.120 like okay, it's okay, you can slow down. Yeah, like 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:00.640 the world will not stop if you still you know. 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:06.960 Yeah, we've been hardwired to identify or guess define our 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:12.720 existence by bringing workers and producers and performers. We have 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:17.240 a K through twelve education system that kind of indoctrinates 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.840 you in that you know, you're there most of the year, 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.720 majority of the day, majority of your life, K through 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.520 twelve and to teacher, hey, you do this, you get 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:31.840 an A. You do this, you get three stars. And 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:33.920 then you go to high school the same thing. You 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.600 get a certain score then yeah, raw raw. Then you 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:41.440 get that validation from the adults. Adults are like, well, 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:44.160 accomplishment and you know, so you start and part of 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:51.880 human psychology regarding our happiness, human happiness, validation is a 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.160 part of that. Like when you're a kid and like 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:55.920 look mommy, and look what I drew and it's just 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.400 so scribbly scratched, like you know, that's still part of 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:03.920 us even yeah, Like I mean, the whole reason why 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:07.920 social media exists is because we want validation. It's share, 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.720 it's show and tale like how you did in kindergarten, 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:12.320 Show and tale. So it's like, at the end of 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:15.800 the day, we have to understand what we are and 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.679 how we're designed. Why am I saying that, because you 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:22.360 understand that when you first got to this place, they're 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:27.720 telling you work, perform, produced, This is how you get happiness, validation, reward, 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.920 all of that. So now we got these new ideas 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:34.560 that says, I don't have to do this. I love myself, 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:36.760 I'm worth my rest, I'm worth my eed. So now 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:41.200 we have to child, We gotta you know, decondition from 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.679 that and feed the new ideas. This is literally like 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.560 not any like hippie knowledge. This is like neurological facts. 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:50.679 I'm sure y'all know you know what I'm saying. So 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.560 you have to like kind of create like a marketing campaign, 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:59.880 an advertising campaign that markets to your hearing, your senses, 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.280 your site, your speech, your everything around you. Like that's 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.600 why vision boards are so important, mute affirmation music is 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:10.640 so important because this campaign has to be advertising these 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:12.919 new ideas for your brain to be like, oh. 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:16.439 Actually that makes more sense. No, right, it is, like 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:16.840 it's crazy. 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:18.919 We have to have to produce a campaign to go 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:22.439 back to our like natural our natural state because the 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:26.680 truth of the matter is, like when we're indoctrinated into 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.800 these programming. That's what they're doing. But they've done it 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:32.359 for so long that it's program so it takes pro 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.240 I mean, it takes reprogramming to get back to our 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:39.919 like our natural existence. And even I was thinking, like 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.680 you know about you working in like life coaching and 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:48.800 like workaholism is like for women too. We're programmed even 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.720 as little girls, like you know, can it be a 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:51.200 good girl? 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:52.000 Like it's not. 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:56.000 Easy, it's it's for love, and it's not even like 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.359 it's not just performing in like a works place. And 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:02.160 obviously like women are had a household and like heavily 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:04.840 and like uh in the work field in this point, 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:06.200 and you know, and we are trying to get to 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:07.720 a bag and there is something to prove, like I'm 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:09.680 independent and I can take care of my fucking self 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.359 and I don't need shit. But there's also like the 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:16.919 aspiration for women to not only like now work but 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:21.040 also like keep the house clean, take care of your children, 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:24.240 for cook you know, like all the laundry should be completed, 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:26.640 like be a good wife. Like there's like for love 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:29.320 and for acceptance in society. And like if I go 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.240 drop off my kids for a week, everyone's gonna be 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:32.400 looking at me like what the fuck. 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.760 Are you okay? Are the kids okay? 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:37.320 Like, yeah, bitch, I need a break, you know, Like 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:40.399 it's it's performative and it's like workaholism shows up in 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:43.520 a different ways every area, and like for women, I 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:45.600 don't think we even realize that that's a part of it, 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:49.879 like feeling like our worth is tied to our productive productivity, 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:52.920 even in like domestic invite, like even at home. 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:56.200 Even like the stay at home wife or the stay 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:59.840 at home mom, not realizing and then and society definitely 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:02.960 use that for sure, because people don't regard and don't 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:06.560 respect the mother who stays home the ways they don't. 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:10.080 They don't realize what a task that is. It's no idea, 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:15.199 you know. But yeah, I think it's I think that, 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:18.639 you know, I'm so curious to know how you know 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:21.760 this work and I know how this work has led 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:26.120 you to I guess healing within yourself too, like being 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:30.159 able to share these affirmations and write them down, like 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:33.199 are they personalized to things that you're going through in 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.480 your experience when you're writing these or a. 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:42.520 Great question it's literally my medicine. First it took me, 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:48.600 I think after the last album that I did have 0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:53.919 five projects out, I was like, oh my god, this 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:57.600 is for me because literally every time when affirmations for 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:02.000 the Grown Ass Woman came out, immediately entered an initiation 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:04.879 process of growth, like time to grow up, time to 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:07.880 mature you. You know what I'm saying, You too childish 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:10.680 in a lot of ways. When I had ic me mantras, 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:13.280 as soon as it dropped, I had to go into 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.800 initiation of self awareness. That almost it was just like 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:20.560 a lot me versus every me affirmation self love. It 0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.600 was like, oh, I'm about to fight. I'm fighting every 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:27.000 demon like every like, and I don't even think it 0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:30.680 was mine. I think it was just like in my generations, 0:21:30.760 --> 0:21:35.239 you know, the the darkness of shame and guilt and 0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:38.520 blaming men like it's your fault, it's your fault, choose me, 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:41.359 choose me, give me more. Like it was just like 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:43.840 all these things I was fighting with in myself and 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.439 so for me, I look at it like this music 0:21:46.600 --> 0:21:49.879 is my medicine. First. I have to benefit from it first. 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.000 It has to heal me first. And I'm gonna let 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:54.639 the world watch me take my own medicine and I'm 0:21:54.680 --> 0:21:57.520 gonna share it with y'all in real time. This this 0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:04.400 my I've been so shocked, I mean completely like rock 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:08.160 my world to realize how much I did not practice 0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:12.080 my own message and music. I was like, whoa, I 0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:17.080 got so many music songs about hold your womb, sacred 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:22.119 sexual healing through you know, boundaries, and I just have 0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:26.159 all these elaborate, beautiful songs, very sincere, but I'm like, 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:27.960 I ain't practicing none of it. 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:31.600 Well you know, so yeah, I do know because we 0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:34.399 sit on a podcast every single week and and and 0:22:34.440 --> 0:22:37.800 give unsolicited advice about shit, and we aren't always applying 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:40.360 to our lives. However, I will say that I think 0:22:40.440 --> 0:22:43.520 that is the first step. It is the acknowledgement, is 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:47.119 planting the seed, is realizing like it is, even saying 0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:48.960 it and then going back and being like, oh shit, 0:22:50.040 --> 0:22:51.240 that's for me, that's. 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:53.760 For me, that's for me, or saying it over and 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:56.119 over and over and I'm not even listening to the 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:58.399 shit I'm saying, like, I know it sounds good, so 0:22:58.400 --> 0:22:59.680 I'm telling that, I'm saying it. 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:01.639 I'm not integrating it into my life. 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:03.920 And then it's like even the power of speaking it 0:23:04.000 --> 0:23:06.040 is like, damn, bitch, you said this a lot of 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:09.000 motherfucking times, like are you shifting to make it a 0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:11.440 shift or like even like you've tried, you're trying a 0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:13.840 lot of times, and like can you give yourself grace 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:15.600 in that time or like are you just getting up? 0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:18.600 Like because for me, if I find myself having a 0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:21.200 behavior that I don't really like, like but I can't 0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:23.439 like I'm sucked into it in ways, it makes me 0:23:23.560 --> 0:23:26.080 like avoid it. I'm an avoid so there's ways like 0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:27.840 I will just like shut off that part of me. 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:29.439 And it's like, no, bitch, you gotta go down the 0:23:29.440 --> 0:23:31.879 hall and figure it out, like why are you avoiding 0:23:31.920 --> 0:23:35.040 and why? But it's like the power of speaking. It 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:37.000 is like where the power comes out because it's like 0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:39.840 releasing it. And right now we have a we have 0:23:39.880 --> 0:23:44.800 a merch drop. It's a beautiful sweatsuit from the Manifest University. 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.439 But the back says words are spells, yes, And I 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:50.800 know for some people you know that can be off 0:23:50.800 --> 0:23:53.719 putting spells whatever, But it's the truth, you know, just 0:23:53.760 --> 0:23:56.240 like in the Bible there's prayers, you know, like there 0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:59.280 like there is so much power in speaking, and like 0:23:59.640 --> 0:24:03.000 even when you said like it resonated with me about 0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:04.960 you know, you were dealing with things that you don't 0:24:04.960 --> 0:24:07.480 even think we're your own. And that's another thing, like 0:24:07.520 --> 0:24:10.920 I don't even think we recognize that, you know, until 0:24:10.960 --> 0:24:13.080 we're ready or until we were like take the time 0:24:13.119 --> 0:24:16.399 to actually tap into the feelings. It's like sometimes the 0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:18.520 feelings that we're harboring truly. 0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:21.960 Aren't our own. There are we inherit things from from 0:24:22.000 --> 0:24:24.199 the women before us, from the men before us, and 0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.159 we are so we're trying to battle with things not 0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:26.920 even realizing. 0:24:26.960 --> 0:24:30.159 Like I don't even fucking understand why I'm jealous. I 0:24:30.200 --> 0:24:33.640 don't understand why I'm angry. I don't understand like I've inherited, 0:24:34.080 --> 0:24:36.480 you know, like intense suspicion, like what I. 0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:38.040 Can trush you like it doesn't feel like it even 0:24:38.080 --> 0:24:39.960 resonates with you, but you're holding it for some reason. 0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:42.480 Yeah, Like I don't believe in that, but I've seen 0:24:42.520 --> 0:24:44.560 my mom believe in it, and I've seen like I've 0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:47.280 seen her be like almost held prisoner to it. 0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:49.760 And listen to music that talked about it. I watched 0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:50.640 entertainment that. 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.960 All all the things we intake that we don't even 0:24:54.000 --> 0:24:58.439 realize just like plant into our into our into our 0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:00.119 hearts and our minds and our body. 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:01.360 I was listening. 0:25:01.440 --> 0:25:05.080 I was reading George's book All All Boys Aren't Blue, 0:25:05.359 --> 0:25:07.560 and I haven't gotten very far, but it's really good. 0:25:08.640 --> 0:25:11.320 And he has a he has like a part where 0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:14.760 he says, I realized it was happy for me to 0:25:15.080 --> 0:25:17.600 identify with like it was hard for me to identify 0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:18.359 with happiness. 0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:20.240 And he was like, and I feel like that's a 0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:21.440 lot for our culture. 0:25:21.520 --> 0:25:24.119 It's like, you know, you always hear people say, like, 0:25:24.720 --> 0:25:26.879 where's that old Mary, where's the hurt Mary? 0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:28.399 And you know, we all love hurt Mary. 0:25:29.160 --> 0:25:29.800 Did he's out. 0:25:31.280 --> 0:25:33.480 We all love hurt Mary. 0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:37.200 And it feels oddly good to like relate to her pain, 0:25:37.760 --> 0:25:40.560 you know, Like it feels good just to like to 0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:42.960 go to that place of heartbreak because you've been there, 0:25:43.000 --> 0:25:45.160 you know. But it's like sometimes when you're like really 0:25:45.160 --> 0:25:47.480 happy and at peace, it's harder to kind of like 0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:50.320 feel safe in that. You're like, why do I feel 0:25:50.560 --> 0:25:53.240 like I'm happy? Like I'm in love? Like things seem 0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:57.119 pretty good, but it feels uneasy because it's easier for 0:25:57.240 --> 0:26:01.920 us to like identifying it and feel comfortable in the pain. 0:26:02.400 --> 0:26:04.960 And when he said that, I was like, damn, that's deep, 0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:07.440 you know, because we've all heard that comment, and it's 0:26:07.480 --> 0:26:11.920 like we've all experienced struggle, even on a like cellular level, 0:26:12.200 --> 0:26:15.440 like on an ancestral level, there's been deep you know, 0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:18.959 like deep heartbreaks and family being pulled away from us 0:26:18.960 --> 0:26:22.119 in relationships, and like you know, and it lives in 0:26:22.160 --> 0:26:22.679 our spirit. 0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:26.200 It does. It's it's like a it's a genetic archive 0:26:26.320 --> 0:26:29.520 in our bodies of the trauma, of the memories and 0:26:29.560 --> 0:26:33.200 things like that. So we have to understand, like especially 0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:37.000 as women in the central. Yes, the central nervous system 0:26:37.359 --> 0:26:42.440 is literally the kingdom. That the kingdom, and so when 0:26:42.480 --> 0:26:46.159 you understand that it has been it's it's a whole 0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:49.720 system that has been used to pain. It's used to 0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:53.680 a certain rhythm and cycle, and when you interrupt that 0:26:53.960 --> 0:26:57.560 cycle with peace with these it's like wait a minute, 0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:00.320 we're not you were used the casts, you know. So 0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.840 it's just like it's all you know, for me, it's 0:27:02.880 --> 0:27:06.199 been a journey, like I'm sure for a lot of 0:27:06.280 --> 0:27:09.320 us of like self soothing the nervous system as you 0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:17.120 go into a space of normalizing you know, generosity, integrity, trust, goodness, 0:27:17.160 --> 0:27:21.800 you know, security, safetiness when you're experiencing other people because 0:27:21.800 --> 0:27:27.040 we're so used to experiencing humans the bullshit, you know. 0:27:27.640 --> 0:27:28.320 We expect it. 0:27:29.080 --> 0:27:31.040 When's where is it coming? 0:27:31.080 --> 0:27:32.040 When's the bullshit coming? 0:27:32.080 --> 0:27:34.320 And then it made me, you know that that really 0:27:34.320 --> 0:27:37.320 made me have to realize that, like you have to 0:27:37.359 --> 0:27:40.439 trust your growth, you have to trust your evolution, you 0:27:40.520 --> 0:27:41.240 have to trust that. 0:27:41.320 --> 0:27:42.520 Like I mean, then obviously. 0:27:42.280 --> 0:27:45.199 We've all back pedaled, We've all, you know, been with 0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:47.760 that fuck guy, and we're like, bitch, you're we're past this, bitch, 0:27:47.760 --> 0:27:48.679 are we still doing this? 0:27:48.840 --> 0:27:51.760 Are we still doing this? You'll still have sick diking me, bitch. 0:27:53.720 --> 0:27:57.359 We didn't that whole. 0:27:57.160 --> 0:27:59.679 Details for what you know. 0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:05.840 But but it's just like that's that's a part of 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:06.240 it too. 0:28:06.400 --> 0:28:10.000 It's like it takes time, and it takes like it's 0:28:10.040 --> 0:28:12.760 a practice. It really is a practice, and and to 0:28:12.800 --> 0:28:15.399 the point where it's almost difficult to talk about And 0:28:15.440 --> 0:28:16.760 I think we should talk about this more. 0:28:17.000 --> 0:28:19.119 That like there are no healed people. 0:28:19.200 --> 0:28:21.280 And you can be an affirmation singer, and you can 0:28:21.320 --> 0:28:23.640 have a podcast and a microphone and you can give advice. 0:28:23.960 --> 0:28:25.440 And I can come up here and pretend like I've 0:28:25.440 --> 0:28:27.920 got all of my shit together, and I know all 0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:30.960 the answers because I've been podcasting for five years, but 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:33.000 like the truth of the matter is, like, let's be real, 0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:36.400 Like it's gonna in our journeys, it's gonna continuously come up. 0:28:36.480 --> 0:28:37.600 They're going to continuously be. 0:28:37.720 --> 0:28:41.160 Obstacles where we'll retract and we'll be like, bitch, you're 0:28:41.200 --> 0:28:42.160 better than this, and. 0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:45.560 Like so it's just like a like you can know 0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:48.520 something and then to implement it an action, it takes 0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:52.160 time to get reprogrammed to that and then start to 0:28:52.200 --> 0:28:54.480 like like trust that I've grown enough that I'm going 0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:56.960 to attract the people that are for me, and that 0:28:57.040 --> 0:28:59.920 I can trust and trust myself that I'm choosing wise, 0:29:00.760 --> 0:29:02.480 so then I can let my guard downs, Like, bitch, 0:29:02.480 --> 0:29:04.320 you're not the person you were five years ago when 0:29:04.320 --> 0:29:07.040 you were comfortable on that fun shit, so be so 0:29:07.200 --> 0:29:09.360 be accepting of the people that are in your place, 0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:11.800 in this place right now that you've attracted because you've 0:29:11.800 --> 0:29:15.040 done the work to attract the right circle. 0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:18.280 That is that titty is definitely out. 0:29:18.600 --> 0:29:21.280 Titties. Her titties fight, they fight the shirts. 0:29:22.360 --> 0:29:23.360 Do you name your titties? 0:29:23.840 --> 0:29:23.920 No? 0:29:24.080 --> 0:29:24.320 I don't. 0:29:24.400 --> 0:29:26.240 I haven't like the right titty, left titty but. 0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:30.160 Do you name your titties? What are their names? 0:29:30.320 --> 0:29:36.800 Veronica in Elaine, Elaine, Veronica is the bigger one. 0:29:37.200 --> 0:29:39.360 Maybe if I name him, name them and identify them, 0:29:39.360 --> 0:29:41.160 they'll stop trying to come out like see me. 0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:42.040 See me. 0:29:42.120 --> 0:29:47.720 Like Veronica get In talked about this space. 0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:50.280 She acknowledged us, and now we can have a seat. 0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:51.880 You need to communicate with your titties, just like you 0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:55.920 need to communicate with everybody. Hi, you guys speak of communication, 0:29:56.000 --> 0:29:56.800 you also must. 0:29:58.240 --> 0:30:00.480 We're going into a podcast. I can't have you about 0:30:00.520 --> 0:30:05.360 on the algorithm. 0:30:05.600 --> 0:30:07.640 We were talking earlier before we hit record and were 0:30:07.720 --> 0:30:10.200 you were telling me that, you know, communication is uh 0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:14.080 is the ultimate self love is you know the basically 0:30:14.280 --> 0:30:14.800 is that what you said. 0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:21.240 That's no, it's fine, You're close. Communication is no affirmations 0:30:21.360 --> 0:30:22.800 is the language of self love. 0:30:22.920 --> 0:30:26.880 Is the language of self love. And that resonated with 0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:29.320 me because you know, we talk a lot of We 0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:32.880 always share an affirmation on the show. And you know, 0:30:32.960 --> 0:30:36.680 me and Smila have talked about just affirmations in friendships, 0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:40.560 affirmations with our children and just and and just also 0:30:40.600 --> 0:30:43.640 just come straight communication and just the power of using 0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:46.760 your voice out loud. And I mean obviously we know 0:30:46.800 --> 0:30:48.400 the power of that just because of you know, what 0:30:48.440 --> 0:30:51.400 we do here. But I've realized, you know, in sitting 0:30:51.400 --> 0:30:54.479 down and talking every week so much, so much has 0:30:54.680 --> 0:30:56.560 come up for me where I'm like, oh shit, like 0:30:57.000 --> 0:31:00.320 I'm not over that, or like and and things even 0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:02.240 come up and you talk about this. I talk about 0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:04.600 this in the book that we have coming at you, guys. 0:31:05.360 --> 0:31:07.080 Make sure you check out A Good Mom's Guide to 0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:09.160 Making Bad Choices, which is on pre sale right now. 0:31:09.280 --> 0:31:12.920 Hit the link in this episode description humble Uh you. 0:31:13.000 --> 0:31:16.040 Got some for gifts with it too, so shameless. 0:31:15.600 --> 0:31:16.600 Plug plug plug plug. 0:31:17.240 --> 0:31:20.000 But I talk about my relationship with my father and 0:31:21.080 --> 0:31:23.600 how it's been a very long journey of forgiveness and 0:31:23.640 --> 0:31:25.800 for him, and even at points where I thought I'd 0:31:25.800 --> 0:31:28.239 already forgiven him and then it's come up that I 0:31:28.320 --> 0:31:32.440 hadn't and how speaking out loud and not even to 0:31:32.520 --> 0:31:36.640 him has been extremely transformational for me. And just like 0:31:36.840 --> 0:31:39.000 you know, talking out loud, like I do this, we 0:31:39.040 --> 0:31:40.840 have I have this exercise in the book and that 0:31:40.960 --> 0:31:42.880 and I've shared on the show too, where I, you know, 0:31:43.000 --> 0:31:45.120 walking around there's a school in front of my house, 0:31:45.160 --> 0:31:48.480 and I was walking around the school vocally out loud 0:31:48.480 --> 0:31:51.360 forgiving him, like, in a way, my dad is here, 0:31:51.400 --> 0:31:53.480 I can do this with him right now. But the 0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:56.040 amount of times in which I need to release and 0:31:56.080 --> 0:31:57.880 say this would be crazy for me to call him 0:31:57.920 --> 0:32:00.000 up and be like, Daddy, I need to tell you again, 0:32:00.080 --> 0:32:02.040 and how you piss me off on my sixteenth birthday 0:32:02.040 --> 0:32:05.680 and you know, like, but just the power of saying 0:32:05.880 --> 0:32:12.760 things out loud, repetitively is so important to the healing. 0:32:12.920 --> 0:32:15.000 Especially I feel like when you when you can't get 0:32:15.000 --> 0:32:17.520 the healing from that person too, because some people are like, well, 0:32:17.520 --> 0:32:19.400 I can't forget my daddy. My daddy ain't here or 0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:22.840 he's not sorry, you know, and like using the tool 0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:27.480 of your own voice in releasing and and even recording 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:31.320 your own voice and listen listening to it back, because 0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:34.720 you know, it's one thing to listen to someone's someone 0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:36.960 someone talk to you, but it's another thing. It's even 0:32:37.000 --> 0:32:40.280 more powerful in your own voice, hearing that from your 0:32:40.560 --> 0:32:42.880 hearing that from yourself, and I can only imagine how 0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:45.520 powerful that has been for you. You have albums of yourself 0:32:45.560 --> 0:32:46.600 talking to yourself. 0:32:46.840 --> 0:32:49.560 It's wild. I listened to myself. I'm like Dan, not 0:32:49.920 --> 0:32:51.720 that girl. We talk about. I'm like, oh, that's me. 0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:55.520 I'm like I said that, I wrote that. I was like, 0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:56.960 I'd just be like, whoa. 0:32:57.720 --> 0:32:59.840 I'm like, where does she get we're in the source? 0:33:00.040 --> 0:33:00.880 Did she come up with this? 0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:03.000 But I'm telling you I've been writing since I was 0:33:03.040 --> 0:33:05.200 a kid. I just didn't know it was of something 0:33:05.880 --> 0:33:10.520 valuable to share. But to your point about repetition, I 0:33:10.600 --> 0:33:14.920 want to make a statement about knowing thyself, knowing what 0:33:15.000 --> 0:33:18.400 you are, like, the power repetition is so important for 0:33:18.440 --> 0:33:22.200 you to translate what you know into your embodiment because 0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:27.320 it's like, think about billionaire, billion dollar companies and brands 0:33:27.360 --> 0:33:31.080 and icons and leaders in the world. You made it. 0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:35.160 Why are you still hustling for our attention? You got 0:33:35.160 --> 0:33:40.200 your message in the magazine, social media, ads, on the bus, 0:33:40.680 --> 0:33:44.840 you know, billboards, commercials everywhere. Why you hustling for little 0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:48.240 old me? Why you want my attention and you constantly 0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:50.760 put it in front of my face to buy your food? 0:33:51.120 --> 0:33:55.160 You know it's because the power of repetition. It impacts 0:33:55.160 --> 0:33:59.400 the subconscious mind to influence your habits and behaviors. So 0:33:59.440 --> 0:34:02.760 when it comes to yourself again, you have to advertise, 0:34:02.760 --> 0:34:06.200 you have to campaign, you have to market. You have 0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:10.640 to march period, so that repetition even if you like, man, 0:34:12.160 --> 0:34:13.560 I don't know if I want to be about that 0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:17.160 forgiveness game by my parents. The truest information and to 0:34:17.239 --> 0:34:20.799 say is I'm open and I'm willing where I'm resistant 0:34:21.400 --> 0:34:24.960 to be more forgiving of my parents. I look, I 0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:30.799 attract thought, partners, heart allies to help support me in 0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:33.320 that forget. You know what I'm saying, Get real, honest 0:34:33.360 --> 0:34:36.200 with yourself and where you're at. You know, I keep 0:34:36.239 --> 0:34:43.200 saying it more and more and more. You know, yeah, yeah, 0:34:43.320 --> 0:34:46.000 it gotta be real. It got it. Like I mean, 0:34:46.080 --> 0:34:50.080 think about the guys who talk weird game like man, 0:34:50.320 --> 0:34:53.359 you're so beautiful, Like it's like fake, like come on, bru, 0:34:53.880 --> 0:34:56.800 shut up. But if somebody's like, hey, how you doing, 0:34:57.000 --> 0:34:59.400 like you know, just talk to you, like, hey, how 0:34:59.480 --> 0:35:02.000 you been doing since post pandemic? You know, just real 0:35:02.080 --> 0:35:04.560 human and human talk. It's more real. So when you 0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:08.040 talk to yourself, keep it real. Don't be fancy and awe, 0:35:08.560 --> 0:35:11.000 you know, doing the most. Sometimes you gotta just be 0:35:11.080 --> 0:35:12.600 real with yourself with where you're at. 0:35:12.760 --> 0:35:14.799 You know, that's the thing. 0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:17.520 Like it's it is easy to talk to others it's 0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:20.239 easy to give advice. It's a whole different ballgame when 0:35:20.239 --> 0:35:22.879 it has to be applied to you. You know, it's 0:35:22.920 --> 0:35:26.440 a whole different like experience. You know, like I did 0:35:26.480 --> 0:35:32.240 a family constellation recently, and at the end of it, 0:35:32.400 --> 0:35:35.280 she is basically like telling me to repeat what she says, 0:35:35.360 --> 0:35:38.040 and she's like, mom, Like I'm talking to my mom, 0:35:38.080 --> 0:35:39.880 I'm talking to my dad, I'm talking to little Mila, 0:35:39.920 --> 0:35:41.840 and like, I've never met this lady in my fucking life. 0:35:41.960 --> 0:35:44.279 We explained the people with consolation because people are like, 0:35:44.280 --> 0:35:44.920 what the fuck is that? 0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:49.439 Yeah, okay, so family constellation is I honestly, I've only 0:35:49.440 --> 0:35:51.560 seen it once on like Love Sex and Gup on 0:35:51.600 --> 0:35:55.360 Netflix with fucking uh, who's the girl that does that? 0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:57.640 I don't remember her name when. 0:35:59.440 --> 0:36:04.160 So it's just really interesting thing where basically the person 0:36:04.200 --> 0:36:08.520 the practitioner, it has a person I go and they 0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:12.480 they create a field and you don't know who the 0:36:12.520 --> 0:36:15.000 people are in the field are going to be, and 0:36:15.040 --> 0:36:16.839 you just tell them some background about who you are, 0:36:16.880 --> 0:36:19.360 your family history. She asked me, like my immigration story, 0:36:19.760 --> 0:36:22.799 she asked me about my mom, my dad, diseases like 0:36:22.800 --> 0:36:25.080 that I run in my family deaths, that have happened, 0:36:25.080 --> 0:36:28.080 how people have died, just like general family history that 0:36:28.120 --> 0:36:30.560 I mean some I knew, some I didn't now. My 0:36:30.600 --> 0:36:33.200 relationship with my parents have wonership with each other. So 0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:36.920 then she tells me to place these papers on the floor. 0:36:36.920 --> 0:36:38.960 She put full numbers on each paper. Place them on 0:36:39.000 --> 0:36:42.080 the floor, and then she's like, play somewhere every want 0:36:42.080 --> 0:36:44.160 and then show me. I was like, what the fuck 0:36:44.840 --> 0:36:47.160 She's like, now you know, go to the first go 0:36:47.560 --> 0:36:50.239 to which everyone calls you first, and stand on it 0:36:51.080 --> 0:36:53.000 and so and the other, and like if you don't 0:36:53.000 --> 0:36:53.560 do it online. 0:36:53.600 --> 0:36:56.319 The other version of it is there are volunteers. 0:36:56.600 --> 0:36:58.600 Yeah, I was looking at can I read this definition 0:36:58.640 --> 0:37:01.160 because I feel like it really okay? This is from 0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:01.759 actually goop. 0:37:02.360 --> 0:37:02.720 Okay. 0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:05.840 You meet with a group of strangers and each person 0:37:05.880 --> 0:37:08.000 has a chance to be the main point of focus 0:37:08.200 --> 0:37:12.279 of their own family constellation. A facilitator selects others from 0:37:12.320 --> 0:37:15.719 the group to represent significant family members, and you all 0:37:15.760 --> 0:37:18.880 work together by role playing characters and acting out familiar 0:37:18.880 --> 0:37:19.799 family dynamics. 0:37:19.800 --> 0:37:21.759 Well here's the thing, is like say it for me, 0:37:21.840 --> 0:37:24.239 I was getting the family family constellation and maybe I 0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:27.560 don't know you guys, and they choose you to play 0:37:27.560 --> 0:37:28.480 in my field like. 0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:29.920 I'm grandma, but I don't know that. 0:37:30.000 --> 0:37:31.160 But you don't know. I don't know that. 0:37:31.160 --> 0:37:33.080 They'll just put you in different places and then maybe 0:37:33.080 --> 0:37:35.279 I'll go stand next to you, or I'll stand next 0:37:35.280 --> 0:37:37.520 to you, and then you guys will channel someone who 0:37:37.520 --> 0:37:38.920 doesn't know me at all, and you'll be like, well, 0:37:38.960 --> 0:37:43.200 I feel sad, I feel angry. I don't and then like, well, 0:37:43.239 --> 0:37:44.960 look at number look at number two. How do you 0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:46.440 feel now? Like I don't want to look over there. 0:37:47.160 --> 0:37:49.160 It's really strange, and it's like or people just like. 0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:50.920 I feel like a little girl. 0:37:50.719 --> 0:37:53.080 Like you have to be really willing to be like 0:37:53.160 --> 0:37:56.359 captured by whatever energy captures you. But at the time 0:37:56.600 --> 0:37:59.080 I don't know. So for me it was these papers. 0:37:59.200 --> 0:38:02.120 I stood on the papers and she's like, well, how 0:38:02.160 --> 0:38:03.759 do you feel? And I was like, what the fuck 0:38:03.800 --> 0:38:05.080 are you doing? She's like, I know this is weird. 0:38:05.120 --> 0:38:05.680 I'm like, bitch. 0:38:06.600 --> 0:38:08.480 So I'm like, I mean, my room's standing on a 0:38:08.560 --> 0:38:09.160 number one. 0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:12.520 And I was like, well I feel, you know, whatever 0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:15.120 I feel, And then the second one, you know, I moved. 0:38:15.160 --> 0:38:17.000 She's like, go to show whatever number you feel called 0:38:17.040 --> 0:38:18.520 to go on next, and then the second one I 0:38:18.560 --> 0:38:22.680 went and I sat and I like felt like kind of. 0:38:22.640 --> 0:38:26.120 Like like happy, like childlike. I don't know why I 0:38:26.120 --> 0:38:28.120 didn't think of it. And then I sat there for 0:38:28.160 --> 0:38:28.399 the lawn. 0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:29.799 She's like, just just sit and see how you feel, 0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:32.160 see how your body moves. She's like taking notes. And 0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:35.200 then I was like, oh my god, I feel like 0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:37.800 I need to cry cry. I'm like, this is really weird. 0:38:37.920 --> 0:38:40.040 What the fuck are you doing to me from a distance? 0:38:40.520 --> 0:38:43.040 What are you doing to me on zoom? So I 0:38:43.080 --> 0:38:45.920 start crying, like She's like it's okay, I know this 0:38:45.960 --> 0:38:48.440 stuff is weird. I'm like, what the fuck. 0:38:48.280 --> 0:38:48.879 Is going on? 0:38:49.760 --> 0:38:51.920 And then I moved through all the numbers, feeling and 0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:53.600 like just kind of giving her how I feel and 0:38:53.600 --> 0:38:56.200 somethings I felt nothing, sometimes I felt more of other things. 0:38:57.000 --> 0:38:58.799 Then we sat down and then she tells me who 0:38:58.800 --> 0:39:00.960 each number was one that I cried on. 0:39:01.120 --> 0:39:04.080 It was my childhood's. 0:39:03.480 --> 0:39:06.440 Self, so like, you know, you know, there's all these 0:39:06.440 --> 0:39:08.759 different and even the placements are significant, you know, like 0:39:08.800 --> 0:39:12.359 my mom was in between me and my dad, and like. 0:39:12.320 --> 0:39:13.000 Do you feel like that? 0:39:13.040 --> 0:39:13.239 You know? 0:39:13.600 --> 0:39:15.799 It was just all these different dynamics, and then at 0:39:15.800 --> 0:39:18.480 the end we like move, we moved the papers to 0:39:18.520 --> 0:39:21.480 be in a more like I don't know, like flowing 0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:25.759 like place or way, and then I stand on one 0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:27.839 of the papers and then she tells me to look 0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:30.080 at the paper and she's like, Mom, I know, I 0:39:30.120 --> 0:39:32.279 know you did the best with what you can, but 0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:35.719 I am and I accept. Like it was like a 0:39:36.120 --> 0:39:38.680 like a like a speech to my mom, I speech 0:39:38.719 --> 0:39:40.600 to my dad, I speech to my younger self. And 0:39:40.640 --> 0:39:43.359 I was just like bawling, and I'm like, this is 0:39:43.440 --> 0:39:46.239 crazy that this lady that I've never met in my 0:39:46.280 --> 0:39:48.920 life's telling me what to say and it's triggering me 0:39:48.960 --> 0:39:51.360 in these ways because it's things that I didn't realize 0:39:51.480 --> 0:39:53.560 I've needed to say, and I don't have the I 0:39:53.600 --> 0:39:54.160 didn't have the. 0:39:54.280 --> 0:39:57.239 Strength to say, hey, Dad, you hurt me. 0:39:57.280 --> 0:39:59.000 And I and I and I asked, I'm asking you 0:39:59.040 --> 0:40:02.520 for permission to surpass you, like if that's what she's 0:40:02.520 --> 0:40:04.440 telling me, I'm asking your permission that I like to 0:40:04.440 --> 0:40:07.640 surpass you in all the ways emotionally like, and it 0:40:07.680 --> 0:40:11.120 was just like this crazy experience and it made me realize, like, damn, 0:40:11.239 --> 0:40:14.800 I'm fragile and there are things that I need to 0:40:14.840 --> 0:40:18.040 say that I'm scared of saying and like how powerful, 0:40:18.080 --> 0:40:20.799 like even knowing the power and healing that words have 0:40:20.920 --> 0:40:23.840 given me even in this space, and feeling free in 0:40:23.880 --> 0:40:26.200 ways to say all types of shit on the internet, 0:40:26.280 --> 0:40:29.640 you know, talk about sex, talk about like things I've experienced. 0:40:29.680 --> 0:40:31.440 But then when it comes to like the people closest 0:40:31.440 --> 0:40:34.080 to me and these intimate things and this pain that 0:40:34.120 --> 0:40:36.360 I've harbored or like anger that I haven't really like 0:40:36.440 --> 0:40:39.279 really addressed. Because now this like random white ladies telling 0:40:39.320 --> 0:40:40.600 me what to say to my mom and dad, I'm 0:40:40.600 --> 0:40:45.160 fucking bawling. It was an interesting like practice to be like, Okay, 0:40:45.200 --> 0:40:47.600 there's obviously some like more there that needs to like 0:40:47.719 --> 0:40:50.480 be uncovered, but all that to say is just like 0:40:50.960 --> 0:40:54.919 even me in this space so comfortable speaking and then 0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:56.960 you you know, put in this environment where I have 0:40:57.000 --> 0:40:59.160 to speak to you know, the things that are like 0:40:59.280 --> 0:41:01.960 close I've so close to my heart, that are like 0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:04.279 I've been hurt over or held onto and not even 0:41:04.320 --> 0:41:07.440 realizing I'm holding onto, are much more or much more 0:41:07.480 --> 0:41:10.200 difficult to release, like with words. 0:41:10.840 --> 0:41:13.120 You know, it's like that throat chakra needs to be like. 0:41:15.520 --> 0:41:16.640 Yeah cleared out. 0:41:16.760 --> 0:41:20.680 M m m hmm. Wow, that's beautiful, you know, any 0:41:20.719 --> 0:41:25.480 woman who goes back, goes back to the past as 0:41:25.520 --> 0:41:29.520 like as though as the museum and become an observer 0:41:29.719 --> 0:41:33.360 and like kind of like a three D virtual world 0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:37.279 of like going back to feel the feelings. It's not 0:41:37.440 --> 0:41:40.520 real because it's not in the now, but you virtually, 0:41:40.600 --> 0:41:43.080 through your spirit, through your emotions, through your mind, you 0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:46.080 go back and you feel the stuff that you really 0:41:46.080 --> 0:41:48.840 didn't have the skill sets to feel. You had to 0:41:48.880 --> 0:41:53.600 survive those things. And when a woman does that game changing, 0:41:53.920 --> 0:41:56.360 because all you do is you open up yourself to 0:41:56.480 --> 0:42:00.560 deeply feel the joy from just being alive, the joy 0:42:00.600 --> 0:42:02.400 of being able to put makeup on, the joy of 0:42:02.440 --> 0:42:06.279 eating banana. You're like, why am I feeling gratitude for 0:42:06.520 --> 0:42:10.160 just these little things. It's because you opened up your 0:42:10.160 --> 0:42:14.120 emotional intelligence to feel the pain first deeper, and when 0:42:14.120 --> 0:42:16.600 you're able to feel that, you just expand your skill sets, 0:42:16.640 --> 0:42:19.680 your emotional skill sets, to feel all the goodness that's 0:42:19.760 --> 0:42:24.160 actually here for us. You know, So congratulations for going deep. 0:42:24.520 --> 0:42:28.400 Thanks going into the museum of your childhood. That's not easy. 0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:31.359 Yeah, I mean I've done it in ways, but not 0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:32.480 obviously in that setting. 0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:34.520 And even erica like the fact. 0:42:34.360 --> 0:42:36.480 That you need to do, Like it's like we know, 0:42:36.680 --> 0:42:38.640 but we have to remember, and then we have to 0:42:38.719 --> 0:42:40.279 honor the space where it's like, am I gonna walk 0:42:40.280 --> 0:42:42.040 around the block and talk out loud to someone who's 0:42:42.040 --> 0:42:42.319 not here? 0:42:42.800 --> 0:42:43.000 You know? 0:42:43.360 --> 0:42:45.600 You know, like am I gonna go to my childhood 0:42:45.600 --> 0:42:47.920 house and like go find me? Like it takes a 0:42:47.920 --> 0:42:49.959 certain mindset to be like even open to that, because, 0:42:50.000 --> 0:42:51.239 like you said in the beginning, and we've said this 0:42:51.280 --> 0:42:53.120 a lot of times, it's like, you know, if I 0:42:53.120 --> 0:42:55.960 tell people, like you know, people that they're like, that's 0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:57.919 some white people shit or some hippie shit, like bitch 0:42:57.960 --> 0:42:59.400 you did why you want to hear room and steptons 0:42:59.400 --> 0:43:03.920 on numbers? Like okay, girl, you know, like it sounds wild, 0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:08.440 but like when we're open enough to access and then 0:43:08.520 --> 0:43:10.480 be like, you know, this is weird, but fucking let 0:43:10.520 --> 0:43:13.120 me see like how beneficial it could be, you know, 0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:15.719 and then feeling the shift and then having and then 0:43:15.880 --> 0:43:18.359 being in safe spaces enough, being in sister circles where 0:43:18.360 --> 0:43:18.680 you could be. 0:43:18.680 --> 0:43:21.000 Like, hey, girl, so let me tell you what I did. 0:43:21.120 --> 0:43:23.759 You should try it too, you know, and feeling safe 0:43:23.840 --> 0:43:27.000 enough to do that because a lot of times people like. 0:43:27.480 --> 0:43:28.640 It's just that devil work. 0:43:29.120 --> 0:43:32.840 You know, like people feel scared of those intuitive moments 0:43:32.880 --> 0:43:36.200 where you're like, damn, like something's telling making me go 0:43:36.320 --> 0:43:36.680 this way. 0:43:36.880 --> 0:43:38.320 Just honoring that inner voice. 0:43:38.480 --> 0:43:41.560 Yep, yeah, I know for sure, honoring I mean I think, 0:43:41.719 --> 0:43:43.560 I mean something told you that that was something that 0:43:44.040 --> 0:43:46.279 you needed, you were called to do and im and 0:43:46.320 --> 0:43:49.040 then now look at what you've been able to, you know, 0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:55.440 cultivate because of just following intuition, following just like something 0:43:55.719 --> 0:43:58.839 deeply deep within you that needed needed that. 0:43:59.000 --> 0:44:03.320 The medicine, Yeah, medison. I needed it. Like I didn't 0:44:03.360 --> 0:44:06.440 know what I was doing. Never been in a studio. 0:44:06.440 --> 0:44:09.480 I went to LA like I told you music before 0:44:09.600 --> 0:44:14.400 or no so music nothing. I came back and I 0:44:14.400 --> 0:44:16.600 applied for a loan, got the loan, and I got 0:44:16.600 --> 0:44:19.600 in the studio and I took what you know, I'm 0:44:19.719 --> 0:44:23.839 my background in psychology and I'm a neuroscience nerd, and 0:44:23.960 --> 0:44:27.799 so I took all that information to say, I'm gonna 0:44:27.800 --> 0:44:30.640 create my own process how I create music. 0:44:30.800 --> 0:44:34.240 So I became like a mad scientist. Like every song 0:44:34.320 --> 0:44:35.920 had a whole life. You know how when you were 0:44:36.000 --> 0:44:38.480 kids and you played barbies and they had a whole 0:44:38.560 --> 0:44:42.680 name life. Kids drama situations like each song, like I 0:44:42.719 --> 0:44:46.759 gave each song that type of lifestyle, and I was like, 0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:50.520 this is my process, like and this is fun like it. 0:44:51.000 --> 0:44:52.680 So I was just like, let me just do this 0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:56.960 and see what happens. It wasn't about becoming a musician. 0:44:57.120 --> 0:44:59.800 It was just a wellness tool. And then like a 0:45:00.120 --> 0:45:03.080 year later, you know, I became a full artist and 0:45:03.120 --> 0:45:06.479 in twenty twenty one was my first year performance ever 0:45:06.760 --> 0:45:09.799 in life, you know. So, I mean I came from 0:45:09.840 --> 0:45:12.120 the church, so it's like when you you know, I 0:45:12.160 --> 0:45:14.560 went to the wine Ins Church, so it's very music 0:45:14.719 --> 0:45:18.360 bas so it was like that a little bit helped 0:45:18.400 --> 0:45:21.000 a little bit, But I'm in vocal lessons. I'm learning 0:45:21.040 --> 0:45:23.560 this whole thing, you know. But it's fun because it 0:45:23.560 --> 0:45:26.319 feels like a quest to see how much more can 0:45:26.400 --> 0:45:29.680 Tony Jones play this version of herself as an artist 0:45:30.200 --> 0:45:32.600 and see what else is here? Because it feels better. 0:45:33.200 --> 0:45:33.400 You know. 0:45:33.760 --> 0:45:36.120 It's also a testament that you can switch it an 0:45:36.200 --> 0:45:39.839 you can switch your just switch your where you think 0:45:39.880 --> 0:45:42.720 your life's purpose is at any point, at any moment, 0:45:42.800 --> 0:45:46.000 your journey can change your profession, can change the way 0:45:46.160 --> 0:45:50.000 you look at you know, how you think you're going 0:45:50.040 --> 0:45:50.400 to get to. 0:45:50.440 --> 0:45:51.600 The goal can. 0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:55.160 Change, you know, and sometimes it's not through nine to five. 0:45:55.239 --> 0:46:01.200 Sometimes it is Sometimes it's affirmation, musical affirmation. Sometimes it's podcasting, 0:46:01.640 --> 0:46:05.640 sometimes it's whatever it is, Like it's okay, but when 0:46:05.480 --> 0:46:09.920 when you step into what you're supposed to be doing, 0:46:10.840 --> 0:46:11.160 you know. 0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:14.880 And it may not make sense. It doesn't necessarily have 0:46:14.960 --> 0:46:17.160 to make sense. Like you probably put so much money 0:46:17.200 --> 0:46:20.359 into schools and like formal training and like we are 0:46:20.440 --> 0:46:21.920 so attached to that. 0:46:22.080 --> 0:46:24.640 But it's but it's worked. But you've able you're able 0:46:24.680 --> 0:46:27.480 to still use use it, right, you know, I still 0:46:27.480 --> 0:46:28.359 able to use it. 0:46:28.520 --> 0:46:32.759 Yeah, Because I started out as my big dream was 0:46:33.239 --> 0:46:35.880 to be a model when I was a kid, and 0:46:35.920 --> 0:46:38.560 then it evolved into like, well I missed out with 0:46:38.680 --> 0:46:42.319 my modeling years, so let me become a stylist. So 0:46:42.400 --> 0:46:44.440 I lived out in New York for a minute, you know, 0:46:44.480 --> 0:46:47.319 a hot minute, and was working you know for John 0:46:47.360 --> 0:46:50.880 Barbados and all these other design houses through sacks and 0:46:50.920 --> 0:46:53.200 things like that. So I saw like the fashion world. 0:46:53.560 --> 0:46:55.680 But then I was like, wait a minute, this is 0:46:55.719 --> 0:46:59.600 fulfilling a talent but not purpose. And so but even 0:46:59.719 --> 0:47:05.000 come back full circle, I'm like I'm an artist. 0:47:05.560 --> 0:47:09.200 It wait, hold on, I get to put the clothes on. Yeah, 0:47:09.239 --> 0:47:12.359 I get to perform, like, I get to be by, 0:47:12.800 --> 0:47:14.160 like I get to talk my shit. 0:47:14.280 --> 0:47:16.839 Yes, I get to be fly. I get to share 0:47:16.920 --> 0:47:19.920 my mind. And I'm a thinking woman, you know. I 0:47:19.920 --> 0:47:24.400 get to share my depth and it be reflected backed 0:47:24.400 --> 0:47:27.000 at me by the millions of people that are like, yo, 0:47:27.040 --> 0:47:30.799 we deep too, we wretch it too, we think too. 0:47:31.400 --> 0:47:34.000 You know. What I'm saying is like, oh, because when 0:47:34.040 --> 0:47:36.719 you follow your purpose, God or whatever it is you 0:47:36.840 --> 0:47:39.320 believe in, will then bless you with all the seeds 0:47:39.320 --> 0:47:41.319 that you've planted along the way, and they'll start to moom, 0:47:41.320 --> 0:47:43.080 and they'll start to take form and they'll make sense. 0:47:43.600 --> 0:47:45.560 I think about even you know, my journey here. And 0:47:45.880 --> 0:47:47.440 I wanted to be an actress my whole life. I 0:47:47.440 --> 0:47:49.200 wanted to be a singer my whole life. So I'm 0:47:49.200 --> 0:47:52.480 a writer and so I you know, I learned how 0:47:52.480 --> 0:47:55.320 to use garage band, I learned how to record myself, 0:47:55.440 --> 0:47:57.480 I learned how to talk in front of the camera. 0:47:58.040 --> 0:48:00.399 I took vocal lessons. You know. I did all these things, 0:48:00.400 --> 0:48:04.080 and you know, some of those some of those dreams, 0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:06.680 you know, passed for me, or i've you know, I 0:48:07.040 --> 0:48:09.719 lost they lost their shininess and in ways, or I 0:48:09.760 --> 0:48:12.680 got discouraged in ways, And then I think about coming 0:48:12.719 --> 0:48:14.839 full circle and hit podcasting. When we started our show, 0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:17.280 I was like, oh, I know how to record audio. Yeah, 0:48:17.360 --> 0:48:19.160 not because I was trying to be a podcaster, but 0:48:19.160 --> 0:48:20.960 because I, you know, I was writing music. Oh I 0:48:21.000 --> 0:48:23.440 know how to edit video. Oh I know how to 0:48:23.480 --> 0:48:25.319 be in front of a camera. Oh I know how 0:48:25.360 --> 0:48:27.080 to write some shit. I don't know if it's professional, 0:48:27.120 --> 0:48:29.239 but I did some writing once upon a time, you know. 0:48:29.360 --> 0:48:31.839 And how all these little talents kind of come up 0:48:32.040 --> 0:48:34.200 and they finally make sense and you're. 0:48:34.040 --> 0:48:37.440 Like, oh, I got it, I got it. It's like 0:48:37.880 --> 0:48:42.040 nothing ever experience in your life is not ever used. 0:48:42.560 --> 0:48:45.640 Every experience it's such like an important tool to like 0:48:45.680 --> 0:48:47.400 where you end up. And it's like that's why like 0:48:47.760 --> 0:48:49.960 people who have like bad experiences and it leaves a 0:48:49.960 --> 0:48:51.880 bad taste in your mouth. It's like it's always a lesson. 0:48:51.920 --> 0:48:52.840 There's always a reason. 0:48:53.320 --> 0:48:54.960 And I also think like we're so. 0:48:55.200 --> 0:48:59.680 Also programmed to think that our purpose in like in 0:49:00.320 --> 0:49:03.080 has to be like our profession has to be like 0:49:03.120 --> 0:49:05.879 with this like very strict training like it has to 0:49:05.920 --> 0:49:09.520 fit into this box, you know, and then it doesn't 0:49:09.560 --> 0:49:12.399 allow us, it doesn't really give us space to tap 0:49:12.440 --> 0:49:15.520 into our own gifts, like our natural gifts. And like 0:49:15.560 --> 0:49:17.440 I love to talk and I love people and I 0:49:17.520 --> 0:49:20.680 love to talk to people, but I didn't think that 0:49:20.680 --> 0:49:22.839 that was enough, you know, Like I can't just show 0:49:22.920 --> 0:49:25.000 up as myself and talk. And I'm like, you know 0:49:25.040 --> 0:49:27.800 what I mean, Like that's not enough to like sustain 0:49:27.960 --> 0:49:30.239 a lifestyle, the lifestyle that I think I need to be, 0:49:30.360 --> 0:49:31.960 Like I want to have this, so I should. I 0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:33.759 need to go to school, and I need to have 0:49:33.800 --> 0:49:35.799 this many clients and I need to sell this many 0:49:35.800 --> 0:49:37.960 packages and then I'm going to be successful, you know 0:49:38.000 --> 0:49:40.000 what I mean. It's like all the things that I'm good, 0:49:40.080 --> 0:49:42.360 naturally good at that I didn't think really had value 0:49:42.920 --> 0:49:45.520 are actually the things that are valuable and are bringing 0:49:45.560 --> 0:49:48.960 me monetary value and also like spiritual value. 0:49:48.960 --> 0:49:50.040 Because I feel like. 0:49:49.960 --> 0:49:53.240 I'm empowering, like there's a there's a strong cycle that's happening. 0:49:53.280 --> 0:49:56.960 Like I feel like I'm constantly in spaces with amazing 0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:59.239 women who have messages to offer me and lessons to 0:49:59.280 --> 0:49:59.640 offer me. 0:49:59.719 --> 0:50:05.080 Because it's just the it's just the the cycle of the. 0:50:04.160 --> 0:50:07.759 The giving and the receiving, the eCos ecosystem and like 0:50:07.800 --> 0:50:10.400 putting it out and being open to receiving it. And 0:50:10.400 --> 0:50:13.919 it's like I don't I don't know everything, but I've 0:50:13.960 --> 0:50:17.840 been I've shifted my idea of what like how success 0:50:17.880 --> 0:50:20.719 can look and really been like, oh, bitch, being a 0:50:20.760 --> 0:50:23.719 people person is a true skill and that's why you 0:50:23.719 --> 0:50:25.960 could be in Costa Rica and like, and I'm like 0:50:26.000 --> 0:50:27.640 when I say people person, like I want to sit 0:50:27.680 --> 0:50:29.320 deep and connect with you and learn about you. 0:50:30.120 --> 0:50:32.239 I'm like, oh wow, that's so intriguing to me. 0:50:32.280 --> 0:50:34.000 I had no idea that's who you were and that's 0:50:34.040 --> 0:50:35.920 what you were going through and it brings me so 0:50:36.040 --> 0:50:38.359 much like oh like that I went through that, and 0:50:38.400 --> 0:50:40.200 oh this is how you dealt with it, and that makes. 0:50:40.040 --> 0:50:40.760 So much sense. 0:50:40.880 --> 0:50:43.640 You know, Like this like information that I get to 0:50:43.680 --> 0:50:47.600 receive and give just from other women's journeys, and it's 0:50:47.600 --> 0:50:50.640 so valuable. And I didn't realize how valuable it was 0:50:50.800 --> 0:50:53.120 until I got into this space and like kind of 0:50:53.239 --> 0:50:56.600 blindly followed this, like it's just it's. 0:50:56.600 --> 0:50:57.480 Like this hobby. 0:50:58.000 --> 0:51:00.239 But it's like, you know, it's like we underest me 0:51:00.520 --> 0:51:03.239 that are natural gifts and abilities because we're so. 0:51:05.960 --> 0:51:08.399 Yeah, programmed to think that it. 0:51:08.320 --> 0:51:09.960 Has to come with a degree and we have to 0:51:10.000 --> 0:51:11.920 go to law school and you know what I mean. 0:51:11.960 --> 0:51:13.319 And like back in the. 0:51:13.360 --> 0:51:16.400 Day, people are like you, this child, she will be 0:51:16.440 --> 0:51:20.040 the midwife, This child is gifted. This child this is 0:51:20.360 --> 0:51:22.239 you don't mean like as a child, like oh, she's 0:51:22.239 --> 0:51:23.520 the artist or whatever. 0:51:23.280 --> 0:51:24.640 The athlete, the doctor. 0:51:24.800 --> 0:51:26.880 And you're not like contained, you can have more than 0:51:26.920 --> 0:51:27.759 one talent. 0:51:27.920 --> 0:51:30.040 Yes, you know, and it's like no, actually, I do 0:51:30.080 --> 0:51:31.960 do this and this and this and this, and you know, 0:51:32.080 --> 0:51:33.239 and I'm good at it. 0:51:34.719 --> 0:51:38.120 That's the that's the that's the thing. I'm actually good 0:51:38.160 --> 0:51:41.960 at it. I'm good at what I do. You know. 0:51:42.400 --> 0:51:45.279 That's the undeniable piece and feeling. 0:51:45.000 --> 0:51:46.800 Worthy, feeling like, yeah, I am good at it. 0:51:46.840 --> 0:51:47.560 And I don't have to. 0:51:47.520 --> 0:51:49.759 Have a fucking law of fucking piece of paper from 0:51:49.760 --> 0:51:51.480 Harvard that said I'm good at it. Bitch, I'm telling you, 0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:53.279 and I've seen the results because my friends told me. 0:51:53.360 --> 0:51:57.400 But I feel that your work is an affirmation, So 0:51:58.200 --> 0:52:02.120 you're constantly affirming what you do in your work. So 0:52:02.320 --> 0:52:05.640 like that's also like what a blessing for that to 0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:09.640 be the work, you know, and it's extraordinary. 0:52:10.320 --> 0:52:16.600 I'm in awe that this has happened. Yeah, I'm in awe. 0:52:16.680 --> 0:52:17.640 I didn't mean to cut you. 0:52:17.680 --> 0:52:19.680 No, I didn't have anything I would to say. I 0:52:19.719 --> 0:52:22.759 was just thinking like wow. Imagine I think for us 0:52:22.800 --> 0:52:24.680 like we think like wow. My work is really just 0:52:24.760 --> 0:52:28.000 really analyzing everything that I've done in my past that 0:52:28.040 --> 0:52:31.280 has gotten to me, that's gotten me here and and again, 0:52:31.360 --> 0:52:33.960 like connecting with other women and talking about what they've done. 0:52:34.239 --> 0:52:38.440 Your work is literally like affirming yourself all the time, 0:52:38.800 --> 0:52:41.600 walking in whatever the choices are that you've made, and 0:52:41.920 --> 0:52:45.680 affirming yourself again, even after you fuck up, affirming yourself 0:52:45.719 --> 0:52:48.880 that's okay, they're gonna make a better choice and that. 0:52:48.960 --> 0:52:50.080 But that is also your job. 0:52:50.440 --> 0:52:54.759 Yeah, And it's incredible because it's legit medicine because it 0:52:54.960 --> 0:52:57.920 has one of the most potent medicines in the universe, 0:52:57.960 --> 0:53:01.960 which is sound, which is music. Music has a medicinal legacy. 0:53:02.280 --> 0:53:07.000 It eventually became known just as entertainment. But music really 0:53:07.040 --> 0:53:12.880 goes into the psyche, into the places maybe your therapy 0:53:12.960 --> 0:53:14.080 sessions can get into. 0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:18.439 That basic language that we've been limited to cannot We've 0:53:18.440 --> 0:53:20.600 been given this language as it means to be able 0:53:20.640 --> 0:53:23.919 to communicate, which is it's very important, right, But there's 0:53:23.920 --> 0:53:27.960 something other like otherworldly and spiritual about sound and the 0:53:28.040 --> 0:53:31.000 creation that that takes place with sound. 0:53:31.239 --> 0:53:36.000 It's amazing. It's amazing that the testimonies of what this 0:53:36.160 --> 0:53:41.040 music has done to people is so extraordinarily overwhelming to 0:53:41.120 --> 0:53:44.600 me because it's my self talk and I'm sharing it 0:53:44.640 --> 0:53:47.719 with other people. But I also think it's just it's 0:53:47.800 --> 0:53:51.000 just having an open heart whatever you do, whatever you do, 0:53:51.120 --> 0:53:54.319 I don't care if it's like you just write. Just 0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:57.560 having an open heart component to whatever you create makes 0:53:57.600 --> 0:54:00.680 it more potent to actually touch the hearts and minds 0:54:00.680 --> 0:54:04.319 of people. Because people fucking hurting. 0:54:04.040 --> 0:54:07.080 Right now, and a lot, like a lot. 0:54:07.680 --> 0:54:10.479 I've been in spaces with people I haven't seen in years, 0:54:10.480 --> 0:54:16.640 and it's been around them whatever, and the obvious bleeding 0:54:16.680 --> 0:54:20.360 out that's happening, the anxiety, the mental like it's so 0:54:20.560 --> 0:54:24.000 obvious is like, oh my gosh, and I'm supposed to 0:54:24.040 --> 0:54:25.160 act like nothing's wrong. 0:54:25.560 --> 0:54:26.719 I can hear you screaming. 0:54:27.280 --> 0:54:30.480 I can hear you screaming, but you know, and we're 0:54:30.640 --> 0:54:36.759 like really really blessed to I don't be walking in 0:54:36.840 --> 0:54:43.080 spaces that we're like are questioning and our wellness and 0:54:43.320 --> 0:54:45.520 the love is always at the forefront, you know what 0:54:45.600 --> 0:54:45.879 I mean. 0:54:45.920 --> 0:54:47.840 Like we're not like lawyers like scheaming, you know what 0:54:47.840 --> 0:54:48.120 I mean. 0:54:48.120 --> 0:54:50.799 Like sometimes when you're in like a psychle job where 0:54:50.840 --> 0:54:53.920 it's not really like heart centered, you're not really aware 0:54:54.000 --> 0:54:56.240 that you're that you're bleeding out, that you're not speaking, 0:54:56.320 --> 0:54:58.320 that you're not telling your emotions, that you're not tapping 0:54:58.320 --> 0:54:59.160 into pleasure. 0:54:58.880 --> 0:55:01.359 Because you don't get to talk about it all fucking day, all. 0:55:01.280 --> 0:55:03.960 Day, were thinking about like my inner child, like I 0:55:04.000 --> 0:55:07.640 was triggered my trauma. If we could count the amount 0:55:07.640 --> 0:55:10.839 of times say triggered trauma and healing and fucking a week, 0:55:10.920 --> 0:55:13.000 it's crazy. 0:55:13.680 --> 0:55:16.880 Shadow. We got the language now, right, but these are 0:55:16.920 --> 0:55:19.520 words that like maybe our mom my mom didn't like 0:55:19.560 --> 0:55:22.480 I'm having conversations with my mom right now and I'm like, whoa, 0:55:23.239 --> 0:55:26.000 you know that word. She's like, yeah, my vibration is 0:55:26.080 --> 0:55:28.200 high right now. I'm vibrating very high. 0:55:28.360 --> 0:55:31.000 I was like, okay, well, I just also see and 0:55:31.040 --> 0:55:33.839 I don't know, maybe Tony, you can attest to this too. 0:55:33.880 --> 0:55:36.160 It's like, once you start really doing the work and 0:55:37.400 --> 0:55:39.880 allowing the affirmations to do what they're supposed to do. 0:55:40.640 --> 0:55:44.040 You ultimately even start healing people that you didn't even 0:55:44.080 --> 0:55:48.359 expect to heal, like your parents, in ways, like your elders, 0:55:48.600 --> 0:55:52.560 I didn't have the blessing of this, this this magic 0:55:52.560 --> 0:55:55.799 that you make, or even just the communities and the 0:55:55.800 --> 0:55:58.920 circles that are being created now, Like granted, circles have 0:55:59.000 --> 0:56:01.600 been around with this is not the invention of so 0:56:01.760 --> 0:56:06.120 sister circles, but there's been a huge break and decline 0:56:06.160 --> 0:56:08.680 in it, and there is a resurrection happening and awakening. 0:56:09.280 --> 0:56:13.200 And I just even know, like even with my relationship 0:56:13.200 --> 0:56:17.760 with my own mom, her coming to me for advice 0:56:17.800 --> 0:56:19.799 and ways without coming to me for advice, But this 0:56:19.840 --> 0:56:23.880 is a different conversation, and I'm like, Okay. The other 0:56:24.000 --> 0:56:26.839 day she said to me, she said, honey, you're so God, 0:56:26.880 --> 0:56:29.600 You're so smart. And we were talking about relationships. It 0:56:29.640 --> 0:56:32.160 wasn't about work, it wasn't about business. It was about 0:56:32.200 --> 0:56:36.319 like her, her choices versus the choices that I'm making 0:56:36.320 --> 0:56:40.000 for myself right now, and how she sees that there 0:56:40.160 --> 0:56:42.400 is I'm making a different choice in ways that she 0:56:42.480 --> 0:56:44.680 wishes that she would have made or that she wants 0:56:44.719 --> 0:56:50.080 to make. Now, you know, and that's that's such a 0:56:50.320 --> 0:56:53.399 you're the contrast, such an interesting place to be when 0:56:53.560 --> 0:56:56.080 I don't know, like I haven't, I haven't always felt 0:56:56.080 --> 0:56:58.080 like the like I've been given the space to be 0:57:00.000 --> 0:57:01.319 I don't want to be. Yeah, I guess like the 0:57:01.360 --> 0:57:04.960 teacher and that kind of dynamic and not to say 0:57:05.080 --> 0:57:11.040 like I'm like now I'm Buddha and my mom. 0:57:10.320 --> 0:57:12.360 But you are you are. 0:57:12.440 --> 0:57:16.880 There are aspects that I'm like, huh oh. My freedom 0:57:17.280 --> 0:57:19.160 was like I feel like a bit triggering for her 0:57:19.200 --> 0:57:22.320 at first, and then it's yes that we have and 0:57:22.320 --> 0:57:25.200 and now she's really seeing like the fruits. 0:57:26.080 --> 0:57:28.200 The fruits see that when you get into that place 0:57:28.240 --> 0:57:31.960 of overflow, anybody connected to you, they have no choice 0:57:32.000 --> 0:57:35.160 at this point because you're connected to them. They're close 0:57:35.240 --> 0:57:38.720 to you, so they're there. You're basically like them that 0:57:38.760 --> 0:57:42.600 she's rug each other. Yes, you're signaling, so you're signaling 0:57:42.760 --> 0:57:46.919 to her killing because you're in your overflow. Now you're 0:57:46.960 --> 0:57:50.840 not trying to heal her from a place of I 0:57:50.880 --> 0:57:53.200 have to save you. I have to do these things 0:57:53.240 --> 0:57:55.720 for you. I know you're you're coming from a place 0:57:55.760 --> 0:57:58.360 of abundance because now you're you're bloomy, you know what 0:57:58.360 --> 0:58:00.840 I'm saying. The tree is bloomy and it's bearing fruit, 0:58:00.960 --> 0:58:04.840 and now they see and like whoa, you know, and 0:58:04.960 --> 0:58:08.920 now you're causing thought, You're causing questions, you know. And 0:58:08.960 --> 0:58:12.200 that's that's where the awakening just starts to happen. And 0:58:12.240 --> 0:58:15.480 the beautiful part is she doesn't have to watch on 0:58:15.600 --> 0:58:18.680 TV and find somebody to inspire her. She could look 0:58:18.720 --> 0:58:20.960 at her daughter. So it resonates in the brain a 0:58:21.000 --> 0:58:24.280 lot more because it's close to home, you know, it's 0:58:24.320 --> 0:58:26.560 more believable because I'm like, I'm seeing her do it, 0:58:26.640 --> 0:58:31.480 Like what if I could too? That's my daughter, you know, And. 0:58:31.440 --> 0:58:34.320 I feel blessed to have a mother that's open to that, 0:58:34.600 --> 0:58:38.040 you know, open to those feelings to come through, you know. 0:58:38.720 --> 0:58:40.520 And I hope that I can be that mother to 0:58:40.560 --> 0:58:42.560 my daughter. And I hope that that's the that's the 0:58:42.640 --> 0:58:46.240 standard and how mothers and daughters relate to one another 0:58:46.480 --> 0:58:49.480 as we continue, because I think that, like there's so 0:58:49.640 --> 0:58:53.840 many like lessons to be learned amongst elders and you know, 0:58:54.640 --> 0:58:59.000 and and and every and everybody else, not everybody else, 0:58:59.000 --> 0:59:01.600 but you know, yeah, get the village or like what's 0:59:01.640 --> 0:59:02.640 the opposite of elders. 0:59:03.400 --> 0:59:05.880 Do you do you do you do? You have the 0:59:05.960 --> 0:59:13.920 children the youngest future. Yeah, yeah, it's this is what 0:59:14.000 --> 0:59:16.920 I believe. I believe the next five years things are 0:59:17.000 --> 0:59:20.360 gonna be so good it's gonna blow our minds. I 0:59:20.400 --> 0:59:23.440 can't speak. I really try not to speak for the 0:59:23.480 --> 0:59:26.720 world as long I'm a prophet. I have a message, 0:59:27.320 --> 0:59:31.480 but I feel in my womb, I know in a place. 0:59:31.560 --> 0:59:34.840 I don't know how I know, but I know good 0:59:35.440 --> 0:59:40.240 is more good here. I agree it's too many bitches healing. 0:59:40.920 --> 0:59:45.320 There's too many, so many many house. 0:59:45.080 --> 0:59:51.080 Healing, like like it's happening. 0:59:51.160 --> 0:59:53.520 I feel that. I was, like, I don't know, like 0:59:53.760 --> 0:59:56.400 the fucked up. It is fucked up the world. 0:59:57.120 --> 1:00:00.600 The world is a womb, and we are the majority. 1:00:00.720 --> 1:00:04.560 We're remembering who the fuck we are and that ship 1:00:04.640 --> 1:00:08.080 right there. No nothing can penetrate that. 1:00:08.960 --> 1:00:12.000 Nothing can penetrate that, because like the universe in which 1:00:12.040 --> 1:00:14.760 we birth is on our side. And if you go 1:00:14.840 --> 1:00:17.360 against us, and you go against this movement, it's not 1:00:17.400 --> 1:00:19.800 the universe is not gonna conspire in your face. 1:00:19.840 --> 1:00:21.280 You won't see any abundance. 1:00:21.360 --> 1:00:25.400 We've seen it. We've seen we've seen how the people 1:00:25.440 --> 1:00:28.600 against the against the cause we're out of here. 1:00:28.880 --> 1:00:31.720 It's like what we need, we need, we do need 1:00:32.120 --> 1:00:35.080 the masculine period. You know. We were talking to Supernova 1:00:35.200 --> 1:00:35.600 about this. 1:00:35.920 --> 1:00:39.080 That's the homie. That's the homie. 1:00:40.000 --> 1:00:43.800 Yes, Yeah, And we were talking about this dynamic and 1:00:43.840 --> 1:00:46.400 the masculine and the feminine and just like how we 1:00:46.440 --> 1:00:48.760 can support one another and how we how much we 1:00:48.840 --> 1:00:51.880 need each other's support, and how women how women need 1:00:51.880 --> 1:00:54.800 to support the man's rebranding, and how men need to 1:00:54.800 --> 1:00:58.680 stop calling pussy's weak and just like just the coming 1:00:58.720 --> 1:01:02.640 together of of it and understanding though, like the power 1:01:02.960 --> 1:01:05.080 and respecting the power of the woman. And I think 1:01:05.120 --> 1:01:07.080 there's been such a disconnect because there is an awakening 1:01:07.200 --> 1:01:10.080 of women that there's also like a hate campaign against men. 1:01:10.600 --> 1:01:12.600 And don't get me, don't get it wrong, I've been 1:01:12.600 --> 1:01:15.800 on the bandwagon at some one point or another, you know, 1:01:15.880 --> 1:01:21.080 but ultimately that that that that doesn't do anything to 1:01:21.120 --> 1:01:23.880 really help the collective. But I do believe, and he 1:01:23.920 --> 1:01:26.080 even said himself, like we are in a state of 1:01:26.120 --> 1:01:30.880 emergency for men. It is like we have like we need, 1:01:30.880 --> 1:01:34.120 we need this because they're gonna start dropping, especially because 1:01:34.160 --> 1:01:38.000 there are more women. Yeah, you know, like absolutely, you know, 1:01:38.160 --> 1:01:40.880 and and not and not because but we don't want 1:01:40.880 --> 1:01:42.600 to be out on the world just women. I don't 1:01:42.640 --> 1:01:45.000 want to be on it is. 1:01:44.960 --> 1:01:46.560 Important, it's important. 1:01:47.640 --> 1:01:51.320 I feel like the world super super it will be 1:01:51.560 --> 1:01:52.280 if it's just women. 1:01:52.800 --> 1:01:56.280 Here's here's this is, this is my this is my perspective. 1:01:56.360 --> 1:02:02.400 When there has been an extraordinary imbalance, extraordinary, So anytime 1:02:02.440 --> 1:02:06.200 there's been in balance, if there's extraordinary inflammation area, what 1:02:06.280 --> 1:02:10.400 you do is you start to do drastic changes and 1:02:10.520 --> 1:02:14.920 shifts and habits to bring it back to a you know, 1:02:15.040 --> 1:02:19.680 equilibrium state. So I feel like, yeah, there are some 1:02:19.760 --> 1:02:25.000 hate campaigns going on there, but a lot of people 1:02:25.040 --> 1:02:31.600 have interpreted high aggressive, glorious bad bitch talk as though 1:02:32.280 --> 1:02:35.000 we're going against men, and that's not the case. It's like, no, 1:02:35.120 --> 1:02:38.480 we have to talk big dick energy. We have been 1:02:38.520 --> 1:02:41.640 in such a low state in our power and thrones 1:02:42.080 --> 1:02:45.280 that we have to say I am a goddess, I 1:02:45.440 --> 1:02:49.440 deserve this, I require this, this is It's not about 1:02:49.600 --> 1:02:51.360 we're trying to get you to come to us or 1:02:51.360 --> 1:02:55.000 we're trying to manifest y'all. No, we're building ourselves up 1:02:55.280 --> 1:02:58.720 for being part of a society that has oppressed us 1:02:58.520 --> 1:03:01.960 on a global level for so long and have robbed 1:03:02.040 --> 1:03:05.400 us of our divine identity, our connection to the great 1:03:05.480 --> 1:03:07.960 mother that runs this whole thing. 1:03:08.480 --> 1:03:08.720 You know. 1:03:08.880 --> 1:03:11.080 Like my one of my closest friends said, if I 1:03:11.120 --> 1:03:14.400 was she said, if I was an evil genius that 1:03:14.560 --> 1:03:17.680 wanted to destroy the whole entire world, the one thing 1:03:17.720 --> 1:03:19.680 I will do is just make the women feel like 1:03:19.720 --> 1:03:22.800 they're less sand make them feel like they have to 1:03:22.840 --> 1:03:25.560 be the last one on the list by the boom, 1:03:25.560 --> 1:03:30.680 by the bank, recipe completed, cooked, baked. We ate it's over, 1:03:31.280 --> 1:03:34.000 you know, and we're living in that time. But now 1:03:34.120 --> 1:03:38.640 women are as you say, the resurrection. We haven't risen. 1:03:37.960 --> 1:03:40.800 We have risen and we're learning. 1:03:42.840 --> 1:03:45.080 I just had just heard rail Rapture. I just had 1:03:45.080 --> 1:03:45.240 the like. 1:03:50.120 --> 1:03:52.280 But why do I why do I see y'all being 1:03:52.320 --> 1:03:52.840 lifted up? 1:03:58.840 --> 1:04:02.480 Cue the Lime King of emoji right now here? Uh? 1:04:02.560 --> 1:04:04.360 You know, it's that's for sure true, I don't. 1:04:04.440 --> 1:04:07.800 I just feel like people think that we're hating, and 1:04:08.000 --> 1:04:10.240 it's like, no, it's just not about y'all. Right Now, 1:04:11.080 --> 1:04:14.520 I'm what I'm doing with men and also book, I'm like, 1:04:14.560 --> 1:04:18.200 I'm pointing them the supernova. I'm pointing them to sacred sons, 1:04:18.200 --> 1:04:20.640 because I'm like, I've labored for you long enough. 1:04:20.760 --> 1:04:21.600 I can't labor for us. 1:04:21.920 --> 1:04:26.400 I can't. I can't be the rehabilitation center for your awakening. 1:04:26.520 --> 1:04:26.680 Like. 1:04:28.520 --> 1:04:31.560 Yeah, yeah, and you and I feel like men deserve her. 1:04:36.680 --> 1:04:41.160 Energy, the rehabilitation center of your healing, Like I can't 1:04:41.200 --> 1:04:42.440 be that for you anymore. 1:04:42.600 --> 1:04:46.880 Like we got Google dot com. We got resources, like 1:04:46.960 --> 1:04:49.400 whatever issue you got, you can google it. 1:04:49.360 --> 1:04:52.120 To like see yourself. You have to admit you have 1:04:52.160 --> 1:04:54.880 an issue. You have to want to seek, you have 1:04:54.960 --> 1:04:57.400 to want to And that's why I think men need 1:04:57.440 --> 1:05:01.080 other men. You know they have they have at this point. 1:05:01.160 --> 1:05:03.120 And that's what we talked about too. Women, we cannot 1:05:03.120 --> 1:05:03.640 heal the men. 1:05:03.680 --> 1:05:07.360 You can't as promises that all they needed us and 1:05:07.400 --> 1:05:10.200 we've allowed that, and you can't. You can't like go 1:05:10.280 --> 1:05:15.720 for it. We can support we're going, but you can't 1:05:15.760 --> 1:05:17.680 go to the place that you like, just like you 1:05:17.720 --> 1:05:19.400 can't heal us, you can't. 1:05:19.880 --> 1:05:22.080 The men deserve us to be in it for this 1:05:22.120 --> 1:05:24.200 to be our posture. They deserve us to be in 1:05:24.240 --> 1:05:25.320 this position to say. 1:05:25.160 --> 1:05:27.520 It's gonna benefit that I love you so much, I. 1:05:27.480 --> 1:05:30.320 Have to let you go to yourself and be with 1:05:30.400 --> 1:05:32.840 yourself so you can get a real opportunity to see 1:05:32.880 --> 1:05:35.240 you because you're not receiving the reflection that I am. 1:05:35.840 --> 1:05:37.960 Well, this is the time like as a structure is 1:05:38.360 --> 1:05:41.680 as a structure is like collapsing because it is, Yes, 1:05:42.520 --> 1:05:44.400 it's deeply uncomfortable for that it is. 1:05:44.400 --> 1:05:46.080 It's deeply uncomfortable for some women. 1:05:46.240 --> 1:05:48.720 You see the girls on the internet talking shit like you, 1:05:49.000 --> 1:05:52.080 this is about you don't have a man exactly, you know, 1:05:52.120 --> 1:05:53.760 because we're also we're all. 1:05:53.680 --> 1:05:55.200 And I think about Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt you, 1:05:55.200 --> 1:05:57.800 but I can't help but think about the soft woman 1:05:58.400 --> 1:06:02.080 and how important I think there's both right, But then 1:06:02.080 --> 1:06:04.600 I'm like, yo, like there's also like a very strong 1:06:04.640 --> 1:06:08.560 campaign for very soft women, which obviously I resonate with 1:06:08.600 --> 1:06:10.760 this idea of being a soft woman, But I also 1:06:10.920 --> 1:06:15.880 like wonder, like is that also like going against also 1:06:16.000 --> 1:06:18.240 like not being too loud, not being too boisterous, not 1:06:18.280 --> 1:06:20.680 being and you are walking in your divine feminism. 1:06:20.720 --> 1:06:24.520 It depends how you how you like, how you perceive that, 1:06:24.600 --> 1:06:26.400 because I feel like it comes both ways. Because I 1:06:26.400 --> 1:06:29.080 think a soft woman is I am a soft sensual 1:06:29.280 --> 1:06:32.240 sexy I don't have to say munch, I agree. 1:06:31.920 --> 1:06:35.040 But I wonder if some people misconstrue that concept. 1:06:35.160 --> 1:06:37.400 I don't think. I don't think people really know what 1:06:37.440 --> 1:06:42.360 the softening process is. They don't know like everyone has 1:06:42.400 --> 1:06:43.560 thought this, everybody has. 1:06:43.800 --> 1:06:46.400 We saw that on trap yoga based episode. 1:06:46.480 --> 1:06:51.360 Everybody has a different perspective in every and in different definitions. 1:06:51.600 --> 1:06:54.080 And what I've come to found is what I've come 1:06:54.120 --> 1:06:57.880 to find in my journey from elders and you know 1:06:58.040 --> 1:07:01.880 sagers that I've met that are in the nineties. At 1:07:01.880 --> 1:07:05.800 the end of the day, you got to feel your pain. 1:07:07.360 --> 1:07:11.240 You have to see pain as an invitation. You know, 1:07:11.600 --> 1:07:16.760 from white supremacy and justice, from fuck boys to childhood trauma. 1:07:17.200 --> 1:07:20.680 You have to feel that shit because when you feel 1:07:20.720 --> 1:07:25.240 that pain, it softens the heart parts that have been 1:07:25.280 --> 1:07:28.160 hardening for so long. If you feel it, only if 1:07:28.160 --> 1:07:30.160 you feel it, you gotta feel it because then you 1:07:30.200 --> 1:07:32.000 feel you can feel the resistance, you can feel the 1:07:32.040 --> 1:07:34.880 stiffness and the firmness. And then when you allow yourself 1:07:34.880 --> 1:07:38.280 to really break and open yourself up, there's a softness 1:07:38.280 --> 1:07:42.200 that happens. Even a soft gaze to your past. You 1:07:42.240 --> 1:07:46.640 can look at and be like, oh, baby girl, glad 1:07:46.680 --> 1:07:50.520 we learned that lesson so grateful for him, so grateful 1:07:50.560 --> 1:07:55.200 for my parents imperfections and weaknesses. It gave me exactly 1:07:55.280 --> 1:07:57.840 the lessons that I needed to be the woman under 1:07:57.880 --> 1:08:00.440 that you were able to get soft with all the 1:08:00.480 --> 1:08:04.200 things that have made you harden. And that's what I've 1:08:04.440 --> 1:08:07.120 learned from Elders and that's what I've learned from my journey. 1:08:07.440 --> 1:08:11.680 It's not just about the aesthetics of softness. It's about 1:08:11.760 --> 1:08:15.600 feeling your heart again, feeling that fleshliness that you had 1:08:15.640 --> 1:08:18.759 as a little girl before you knew trauma, before people 1:08:18.840 --> 1:08:22.040 told you anything about yourself. You know what I'm saying. 1:08:22.080 --> 1:08:24.840 So that's how I kind of interpret it, and just 1:08:24.880 --> 1:08:28.640 from what I've learned, And when people who can testify 1:08:29.120 --> 1:08:33.120 that softening process, they can be like, bitch, yes, I'm 1:08:33.120 --> 1:08:35.599 in the middle of it, of it, or I've gone 1:08:35.640 --> 1:08:38.479 through it, or I'm on my third round, and be 1:08:38.680 --> 1:08:41.520 like that's it. That's where you get the magic juiciness 1:08:41.840 --> 1:08:48.840 because you're feeling the shit that you've kind of much 1:08:50.080 --> 1:08:53.240 too much. Do y'all know, do y'all Let me tell y'all, 1:08:53.240 --> 1:08:56.880 do y'all know that last year, after ten years, I'm 1:08:56.920 --> 1:09:01.759 ten years into intentional journey and healing trauma. Last year, 1:09:02.120 --> 1:09:05.880 I just found out that I had a mother womb. 1:09:07.160 --> 1:09:09.439 Like I thought it was daddy issues that I saw 1:09:09.520 --> 1:09:12.519 the mother room and I broke. Y'all know Cleo Song, 1:09:13.040 --> 1:09:16.280 I love her music. That album. Mother had me in 1:09:16.520 --> 1:09:24.519 a motherfucking shambos. I said, how does this woman know 1:09:24.680 --> 1:09:30.240 my my life? You know? And I was like, damn, 1:09:30.320 --> 1:09:33.320 I've been so I wrote down the men that have 1:09:33.479 --> 1:09:38.280 had me in like like you know, attachment, bondtchment, you know, whatever, 1:09:38.280 --> 1:09:42.920 if that's the word. And I started to see the parallel. 1:09:43.400 --> 1:09:45.439 I was like, oh my god, I've been singing my 1:09:45.479 --> 1:09:48.880 mother's love through men. And I don't know how long 1:09:48.920 --> 1:09:52.200 I'll be testifying about this, but it's so fresh to 1:09:52.320 --> 1:09:56.840 my consciousness. I'm like, y'all, guess what I found out? 1:09:57.040 --> 1:10:00.320 Like I got to the root of the bullshit behind 1:10:00.360 --> 1:10:03.000 my patterns of the type of men I've chosen. So 1:10:03.120 --> 1:10:05.240 now I'm more equipped. You feel what I'm saying. 1:10:05.280 --> 1:10:07.000 It's almost like I can't help but think. But now 1:10:07.040 --> 1:10:08.800 it's now you got to keep talking about it. I 1:10:08.800 --> 1:10:11.160 gotta keep to keep talking about it in order to 1:10:11.200 --> 1:10:13.640 heal the wound. That to heal the wound, that's the 1:10:13.680 --> 1:10:15.400 thing is that you don't discover the wound and then 1:10:15.400 --> 1:10:18.880 shut the fuck up. Yeah, Like that's where people fuck up. Yeah, 1:10:19.160 --> 1:10:21.040 is when you when you finally find the trigger and 1:10:21.080 --> 1:10:22.800 then you're like, oh no, no, no, no, don't you're not 1:10:22.800 --> 1:10:24.360 talking about this shit. It's like, Okay, well, it's gonna 1:10:24.400 --> 1:10:25.519 just live in fester there forever. 1:10:25.680 --> 1:10:30.360 I feel like I'm a woman on a horse in 1:10:30.400 --> 1:10:32.439 the middle of town, like the queen is dead. 1:10:32.520 --> 1:10:35.160 The queen is that, Like that's how I feel like. 1:10:35.200 --> 1:10:39.080 I'm like, I found that bitch. I found the roots 1:10:39.560 --> 1:10:43.840 that ruts there you are, come here, and then after 1:10:43.960 --> 1:10:47.519 it's like the rest so tusso it's like now they're there. 1:10:48.200 --> 1:10:51.160 I know. Now I gotta be soft with a part 1:10:51.200 --> 1:10:56.280 of me that has been self sabotaging, intimacy, romance, finances, 1:10:56.320 --> 1:11:01.920 you know, security, safetiness, worthy, you die, all of it, 1:11:02.479 --> 1:11:06.080 you know, And that's helped me be soft with my 1:11:06.160 --> 1:11:10.920 life and the complexities of being multi dimensional. The duality 1:11:10.960 --> 1:11:16.840 of ego demons, darkness, shadow, sexy, wretched, contradicting, you know, 1:11:16.960 --> 1:11:19.800 it's I'm like, yeah, I'm all of it. Yeah, just 1:11:19.840 --> 1:11:20.880 wild on this bitch. 1:11:21.120 --> 1:11:23.400 You're finding like the temple like housing it all and 1:11:23.479 --> 1:11:28.000 accepting it all and the pain and yeah, I feel that, 1:11:28.160 --> 1:11:30.720 I really really feel that, and like even I know 1:11:30.760 --> 1:11:33.679 I've talked about it lately a little bit like feeling 1:11:33.720 --> 1:11:36.320 really happy and then like still feeling like like a 1:11:36.400 --> 1:11:38.479 defense and I'm like yeah, and then like having to 1:11:38.520 --> 1:11:42.160 literally like physically disarm like yeah, like relax my jaw 1:11:42.720 --> 1:11:45.200 like that, like really feel myself like what like what 1:11:45.240 --> 1:11:46.000 are you holding on to? 1:11:46.320 --> 1:11:46.759 Wow? 1:11:47.080 --> 1:11:48.920 Like I just got chills, yeah. 1:11:48.640 --> 1:11:52.320 You know, like where are you what are you defending? 1:11:52.479 --> 1:11:53.320 Or what is hurting? 1:11:53.439 --> 1:11:55.720 Like what is it that you're like for no read 1:11:55.840 --> 1:11:58.479 like yeah, that's your first like your first response, you know, 1:11:58.920 --> 1:12:01.200 like think like negative, you know, or like the one 1:12:01.280 --> 1:12:02.240 really is like you're safe. 1:12:02.640 --> 1:12:04.599 Even my boyfriend will be like you're good. We're good, 1:12:04.760 --> 1:12:05.559 Like you're safe. 1:12:05.680 --> 1:12:07.479 You don't have to think about like you're not alone anymore. 1:12:07.520 --> 1:12:09.280 And I have to like in my body, I feel 1:12:09.280 --> 1:12:09.960 my body like. 1:12:14.520 --> 1:12:16.479 I am embodied. I'm just. 1:12:19.600 --> 1:12:23.960 Yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy, like why is this take 1:12:24.040 --> 1:12:24.719 so much work? 1:12:25.000 --> 1:12:28.479 And I love that it's not I'm not the Holy one, And. 1:12:28.400 --> 1:12:31.080 I'm even like continuously thinking and it's like with ego, 1:12:31.280 --> 1:12:34.320 with defense, with trust, like like you know in our 1:12:34.360 --> 1:12:37.120 Tanter practice where it's like there's a meditation and it's 1:12:37.200 --> 1:12:43.960 like positive positive thought, positive positive words, no positive thought, 1:12:43.960 --> 1:12:47.000 positive words, positive action, and it's simple, right, But it's 1:12:47.080 --> 1:12:49.479 like that's a whole cycle that has like that we're 1:12:49.479 --> 1:12:51.960 breathing out back into the universe. But I'm like, am 1:12:52.200 --> 1:12:54.680 I constantly thinking positively? 1:12:54.800 --> 1:12:55.639 Or am I thinking? 1:12:56.080 --> 1:12:56.280 You know? 1:12:56.360 --> 1:12:59.200 It's like the change the shift of like like your 1:12:59.280 --> 1:13:03.680 mind and like I don't know, It's like it's like 1:13:03.720 --> 1:13:07.519 a circuitry. Yeah, it's a circuitry. Am I nourish in 1:13:07.560 --> 1:13:11.360 the frequency that I have done the work to arrive 1:13:11.520 --> 1:13:15.280 to to embody what I've been studying and learning and 1:13:15.360 --> 1:13:18.920 practicing and guessing it? Like is it coming home? Is 1:13:18.960 --> 1:13:22.720 it translating? I'm safe to believe that I've said to 1:13:22.760 --> 1:13:24.800 believe it? But am I safe to live in it? 1:13:24.920 --> 1:13:27.320 Am I living to act in it? Am I safe 1:13:27.320 --> 1:13:29.240 to exist in it? Without thinking about it? 1:13:29.680 --> 1:13:29.920 You know? 1:13:30.080 --> 1:13:34.400 It's like like the belief is one thing, the embodiment 1:13:34.520 --> 1:13:38.360 is something else, and that requires you can know, like 1:13:38.439 --> 1:13:39.960 I can know that that is bad for me, and 1:13:40.000 --> 1:13:42.280 I might still do it, but it's like I can 1:13:42.280 --> 1:13:44.479 know that's good for me? But like and then for me, 1:13:44.560 --> 1:13:47.200 it's like what is that self sabotage is? What is 1:13:47.880 --> 1:13:51.080 what is the obstacle that's keeping you from like implementing 1:13:51.320 --> 1:13:51.720 what you. 1:13:51.800 --> 1:13:52.800 Know to be true? 1:13:52.960 --> 1:13:55.439 I remember, well, I think it's disciplined. Yeah, And I 1:13:55.479 --> 1:13:57.960 think about like affirmations and the discipline that they really 1:13:58.000 --> 1:14:00.880 take to actually work, like do it still, yeah, Like 1:14:00.920 --> 1:14:02.680 you can't just do it one time and bitch your 1:14:02.720 --> 1:14:05.640 new bitch like, no, girl, like you really have to 1:14:05.640 --> 1:14:09.160 commit to to the to the work in any in 1:14:09.200 --> 1:14:11.880 any space, in any healing space and any and anything 1:14:11.880 --> 1:14:15.920 that you do, you know, And I think like that's 1:14:16.080 --> 1:14:19.200 where the work gets challenging. 1:14:19.600 --> 1:14:20.000 Mm hmm. 1:14:20.479 --> 1:14:21.400 The work gets fun. 1:14:22.000 --> 1:14:23.880 It gets fun, gets challenged. 1:14:23.560 --> 1:14:25.759 Because it can't be frustrating if you're like. 1:14:25.960 --> 1:14:28.080 You know, it's kind of like it's like meditating. It's 1:14:28.120 --> 1:14:34.200 like the first maybe hundred times you're like this is 1:14:35.240 --> 1:14:37.760 oh God, Like you're anxious. You're like, oh i'll try later. 1:14:38.200 --> 1:14:40.600 That didn't do ship, that didn't work, or like I 1:14:40.640 --> 1:14:42.400 can't do this. I'm not good at this. Maybe I 1:14:42.479 --> 1:14:46.120 just can't do this. Maybe this isn't my thing, you know, 1:14:46.280 --> 1:14:48.280 maybe I made it all up, Like bitch, no, I 1:14:48.280 --> 1:14:51.760 think it's everyone's things for your brain to chill out, 1:14:51.840 --> 1:14:53.880 like it's everyone's thing for your brain to chill out 1:14:53.920 --> 1:14:58.840 like you know. So it's it's a practice. It is, 1:14:58.920 --> 1:15:01.360 it's a practice. And so I'm just I'm just so 1:15:01.439 --> 1:15:03.840 grateful for the work that you do and that you've 1:15:03.840 --> 1:15:07.680 blessed honor and you've blessed our our community. I want 1:15:07.680 --> 1:15:10.080 to say it's for everyone, but I know how much 1:15:10.120 --> 1:15:13.680 it's it resonates with women of color and hopefully even 1:15:13.760 --> 1:15:17.960 men of color too. A cipher with another life with 1:15:18.000 --> 1:15:19.439 a man or some shit I want to do. 1:15:19.560 --> 1:15:23.000 I want to do something with Super because I know Super, 1:15:23.160 --> 1:15:26.160 I know some of his friends, his allies I've worked with, 1:15:27.040 --> 1:15:31.800 so I trust his embodiment of what he believes and 1:15:31.880 --> 1:15:34.680 so and that's the only space I have for when 1:15:34.680 --> 1:15:38.160 it comes to masculine, Are you in integrity with your 1:15:38.200 --> 1:15:41.400 embodiment of what you know where it translates how you 1:15:41.960 --> 1:15:47.960 interact with people and women people you know you know specifically, 1:15:48.520 --> 1:15:52.000 So I would love to do something with a guy 1:15:52.320 --> 1:15:55.800 you know, it's it's it would be lovely because I 1:15:55.800 --> 1:15:59.280 think people need to see more of that divine masculine, 1:15:59.360 --> 1:16:04.719 divine feml and playing around, you know, and not fighting. Yes, 1:16:04.960 --> 1:16:08.760 you know, we're done fighting. I have a song called 1:16:08.760 --> 1:16:12.679 deer Man where it talks about that. I don't listen 1:16:12.680 --> 1:16:15.440 to it right now because I'm still I'm still integrating 1:16:15.920 --> 1:16:19.599 some of these new found revelations about the men. I'm 1:16:19.640 --> 1:16:23.680 still digesting some things and processing some things. But at 1:16:23.680 --> 1:16:25.160 the time I was very zealous, like. 1:16:25.200 --> 1:16:28.519 Men include men in the yelling and message, you know. 1:16:29.280 --> 1:16:31.839 And so I wrote that song and I haven't listened 1:16:31.880 --> 1:16:33.800 to it and quite some time. I might have to 1:16:33.920 --> 1:16:36.360 listen to it and get back to see what comes up. 1:16:36.360 --> 1:16:42.160 If I resisted, like fuse, or if it's gonna be like, yeah, 1:16:42.360 --> 1:16:45.840 this is true, this is you know, we see you, 1:16:45.960 --> 1:16:52.439 we see you myself. Yes, do it all, you know. 1:16:52.520 --> 1:16:56.679 Speaking of affirmations, we always do an affirmation on the show. 1:16:56.840 --> 1:17:00.120 So what a perfect person to do the affirmations for 1:17:00.200 --> 1:17:00.840 us to speak? 1:17:01.280 --> 1:17:04.080 So is it? I just say it out loud? Okay, 1:17:05.280 --> 1:17:11.200 you repeat it. I deserve, I deserve my sovereign will, 1:17:11.479 --> 1:17:17.120 my sovereign will to choose to choose my abundance, my abundance, 1:17:17.160 --> 1:17:21.040 my emotional abundance, my emotional abundance, my mental abundance, my 1:17:21.160 --> 1:17:25.800 mental abundance, sexual abundance, sexual my financial. 1:17:25.200 --> 1:17:27.200 Abundance, financial abundance. 1:17:27.200 --> 1:17:30.240 This is my existence, this is my existence. I own it. 1:17:30.560 --> 1:17:31.160 I own it. 1:17:31.200 --> 1:17:33.479 I'm willing to do the work. I'm willing to do 1:17:33.520 --> 1:17:36.240 the work for it to resonate, for it to resonate 1:17:36.360 --> 1:17:40.639 and translate and translate into my embodiment, into my body. 1:17:40.920 --> 1:17:42.920 This is how it has to be. This is how 1:17:42.920 --> 1:17:46.839 it has to be for me, for me on period period, 1:17:47.000 --> 1:17:50.960 just because just because that on that that forever facts, 1:17:51.080 --> 1:17:54.040 forever facts, So be it, so be it. 1:17:54.400 --> 1:18:00.760 Yeah, yeah, I love it. 1:18:00.920 --> 1:18:09.240 I love it even how it like sound just like 1:18:09.320 --> 1:18:12.760 I felt like trickling through my body and like the clothes. 1:18:12.479 --> 1:18:13.720 Just start following. 1:18:16.400 --> 1:18:18.800 How saying it and just really going forward and not 1:18:19.160 --> 1:18:22.799 Sometimes affirmations can be short, but like at that that length, 1:18:23.080 --> 1:18:23.799 it's special. 1:18:24.240 --> 1:18:28.960 It's really special. This was so lovely. This is so lovely, 1:18:29.080 --> 1:18:29.559 so lovely. 1:18:29.640 --> 1:18:32.679 Ever were doing hotels you want to hear Tony's horror, 1:18:32.720 --> 1:18:35.360 make sure you check out our Patreon. We're gonna switch 1:18:35.400 --> 1:18:38.760 over to the Tribe channel aka Patreon, So go to 1:18:38.800 --> 1:18:41.960 patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. We have 1:18:42.000 --> 1:18:43.800 a lot of other content over there, so go check 1:18:43.880 --> 1:18:44.200 us out. 1:18:44.280 --> 1:18:45.240 It's for the top secret. 1:18:45.280 --> 1:18:46.439 Ship goes top secret. 1:18:46.640 --> 1:18:50.120 Good Mom's after dark. Well, first we're gonna do I 1:18:50.120 --> 1:18:50.720 think we should do? 1:18:51.160 --> 1:18:52.120 Uh saro. 1:18:53.120 --> 1:18:56.040 Okay, it's terot time. Y'all should have a jingle. 1:18:57.320 --> 1:19:01.400 It is okay, yes, you just can't he Maybe we 1:19:01.400 --> 1:19:03.320 should sing it time. 1:19:04.960 --> 1:19:08.160 It's territime. It's time music. 1:19:08.840 --> 1:19:09.040 I know. 1:19:11.320 --> 1:19:14.760 Yeah, we're sucking up the whole mystical music that play. 1:19:14.920 --> 1:19:15.639 But that was fun. 1:19:18.200 --> 1:19:19.800 So you know what when I was when I was 1:19:19.840 --> 1:19:22.120 shuffling for her, she chose this one. But there's another 1:19:22.160 --> 1:19:24.720 one that looks that jumped out, so I'll read both. 1:19:25.840 --> 1:19:29.040 The moon represents your fears and illusions are and often 1:19:29.120 --> 1:19:32.200 comes out when you're projecting fear into your present and 1:19:31.960 --> 1:19:35.640 you and your future based on your past experiences. You 1:19:35.680 --> 1:19:38.760 may have a painful memory that caused emotional distress, and 1:19:38.880 --> 1:19:41.040 rather than dealing with the emotions, you push them down 1:19:41.080 --> 1:19:44.920 deep into your subconscious. Now these emotions are making a reappearance, 1:19:45.000 --> 1:19:48.200 and you may find yourself under the influence on a 1:19:48.280 --> 1:19:51.200 conscious or subconscious level. For example, if you had a 1:19:51.240 --> 1:19:53.200 car accident when you were young but didn't deal with 1:19:53.240 --> 1:19:56.760 the emotions, you may get sad or anxious every time 1:19:56.800 --> 1:19:59.519 you get into the backseat of a car. To remedy this, 1:19:59.640 --> 1:20:02.519 connect with your subconscious mind and release any fears or 1:20:02.520 --> 1:20:06.360 anxieties holding you back. Hypnosis, therapy, and shamanic healing can 1:20:06.400 --> 1:20:10.360 support this process. The moon can indicate time of uncertainty 1:20:10.400 --> 1:20:12.960 and illusion, when nothing is what it seems. Be careful 1:20:13.000 --> 1:20:16.000 of making fast decisions when the moon appears, because you 1:20:16.000 --> 1:20:18.880 may later realize you only had half the information you needed. 1:20:19.439 --> 1:20:21.800 You need to listen to and trust your intuition so 1:20:21.880 --> 1:20:23.599 you can see beyond what is in front of you. 1:20:25.040 --> 1:20:25.200 Hmm. 1:20:28.200 --> 1:20:32.360 Wait, feel into your situations rather than thinking what they mean. 1:20:32.520 --> 1:20:35.439 Let go of your conscious mental blocks or negative self talk, 1:20:35.479 --> 1:20:37.120 and allow your intuition to guide you. 1:20:38.360 --> 1:20:39.479 So wow, this makes sense. 1:20:39.520 --> 1:20:42.840 We talked a lot about going back to that young 1:20:42.880 --> 1:20:45.240 person inside and going back to feel the. 1:20:45.160 --> 1:20:50.040 Things limiting belief systems and negative self talk, reprogramming yourself. 1:20:51.280 --> 1:20:54.320 And then this fell out as I was shuffling. Let's 1:20:54.320 --> 1:20:57.880 see what this means. You know those moments when you 1:20:57.920 --> 1:21:00.559 glance around and feel your heart overflowing with love and 1:21:00.600 --> 1:21:04.120 appreciation for everything you have created in your life. That's 1:21:04.120 --> 1:21:07.880 what the Nine of Cups is about. Emotional fulfillment, happiness, 1:21:07.920 --> 1:21:11.160 and contentment. When this card appeals and appears in a 1:21:11.160 --> 1:21:15.720 tarot reading, you're content in all aspects of your life relationships, work, lifestyle, 1:21:15.760 --> 1:21:18.879 well being, and more. You're basking in the abundance of life. 1:21:20.360 --> 1:21:21.040 Way where to go. 1:21:22.080 --> 1:21:24.760 You're basking in the abundance of life and experiencing your 1:21:24.800 --> 1:21:28.519 emotions which such intensity and pleasure. This is why the 1:21:28.640 --> 1:21:30.800 nine of Cups is often called the wish card. It 1:21:30.840 --> 1:21:33.200 comes as a sign that the planets aligned and you 1:21:33.240 --> 1:21:34.519 have everything. 1:21:34.040 --> 1:21:36.400 You wished for. You could not be happier. 1:21:36.479 --> 1:21:39.040 If you made your wish and are patiently waiting for 1:21:39.080 --> 1:21:40.880 it to come to fruition, then this card is an 1:21:40.920 --> 1:21:45.120 excellent omen that they will soon be granted. Wow, deal 1:21:45.160 --> 1:21:49.040 with the shadow side and all your wish will be gifted. 1:21:49.120 --> 1:21:53.040 Stop the negative self toxis and go check out Tony 1:21:53.680 --> 1:21:54.600 Tony Jones. 1:21:55.240 --> 1:21:57.040 I am Tony Jones dot com. 1:21:57.240 --> 1:21:59.960 Yes, Yes, that is that where all our people can find. 1:22:00.120 --> 1:22:01.559 Is that the best place for me? I am Tony 1:22:01.640 --> 1:22:05.160 Jones dot com. I am Tony Jones on Instagram. I 1:22:05.160 --> 1:22:07.960 also have a membership community called the living Room where 1:22:07.960 --> 1:22:11.479 we do self talk together. It's all for women who 1:22:12.320 --> 1:22:13.960 I don't know. I just wanted to create a space 1:22:13.960 --> 1:22:16.559 where women didn't have to do something else, you know, 1:22:16.680 --> 1:22:20.960 so we really learn how to do being this and 1:22:21.040 --> 1:22:25.920 living not all for productivity and performance, but really communicating 1:22:25.960 --> 1:22:30.519 and kicking it, you know. So that's that chilling chilling 1:22:30.600 --> 1:22:32.080 in the living room. Living room. 1:22:33.200 --> 1:22:35.120 Well, thank you so much for coming on the show. 1:22:35.160 --> 1:22:38.400 Thank you for having me. This is so fun. I 1:22:38.400 --> 1:22:39.920 felt like I was in a living room. 1:22:41.000 --> 1:22:42.040 What we were going for, like. 1:22:43.600 --> 1:22:46.599 The girl, then the woman, then I love all those 1:22:47.000 --> 1:22:50.800 goddess Then yes, they felt like that, Like. 1:22:54.640 --> 1:22:57.439 The vibe here isn't connected to that the vibe here 1:22:57.600 --> 1:23:02.280 translates into the Instagram for sure. I feel you guys. 1:23:02.720 --> 1:23:05.559 I'm like, well they really feel this. I'm like, I 1:23:05.640 --> 1:23:10.080 love their family forever because y'all are really about that 1:23:10.160 --> 1:23:11.160 embodied ye. 1:23:11.560 --> 1:23:13.479 You know it's so crazy like that you said you 1:23:13.520 --> 1:23:16.040 knw Supa because we were just talking to him about 1:23:16.160 --> 1:23:18.760 frequency and when you're amitting your frequency, you find your 1:23:18.800 --> 1:23:19.600 people and you do. 1:23:19.920 --> 1:23:21.760 He came, then you came, and then here we are. 1:23:21.960 --> 1:23:25.479 Yes, yeah, it's all we're all part of the circuitry. 1:23:26.240 --> 1:23:29.519 Well, you know where to find us Good Momsbad Choices, 1:23:29.560 --> 1:23:32.760 Dot com Please go pre order our book, The Good 1:23:32.800 --> 1:23:37.559 Mom's Guide to Making Bad Choices. We are really putting 1:23:37.600 --> 1:23:40.720 out a collective manifestation to be New York best time 1:23:40.800 --> 1:23:47.719 selling authors. So please put your collective energy to have done. 1:23:47.760 --> 1:23:49.880 And we need you. We need our try, We need 1:23:49.920 --> 1:23:52.639 you guys, And you know, I hope that our stories 1:23:53.080 --> 1:23:55.080 resonate with you, and I hope that you know you 1:23:55.160 --> 1:23:57.440 share the message. And I want to hear your feedback. 1:23:57.800 --> 1:23:59.519 It's our first book, you know, I want to know 1:23:59.560 --> 1:24:02.240 what you guys. Thanks, So I hope you'll support us 1:24:02.280 --> 1:24:03.680 and go check out our book. 1:24:03.720 --> 1:24:05.920 And also check out our Patreon because we'll be telling 1:24:06.040 --> 1:24:08.759 a lot about how this book came to be, diving 1:24:08.800 --> 1:24:12.000 deeper into chapters, sharing a lot of the two year 1:24:12.120 --> 1:24:15.120 journey behind the scenes. And I think it's pretty it's 1:24:15.160 --> 1:24:17.439 pretty cool. So come check us out. Come here the 1:24:17.520 --> 1:24:21.160 uncensored version of every episode, and thank you. 1:24:21.439 --> 1:24:22.559 We'll see you guys next week. 1:24:22.960 --> 1:24:48.919 Bye bye,