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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right now here, right now today. You never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you.

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Speaker 1: Here.

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Speaker 2: It is Strawberry.

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Speaker 1: Letter, subject I love him but dot dot dot Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty year old professional woman dating

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Speaker 1: a man that just got a divorce. I met him

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Speaker 1: while he was still married, but we didn't go out

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Speaker 1: until he moved out of his home. He was still

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Speaker 1: married but legally separated. On our first date, his wife

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Speaker 1: followed him and she made a big scene in public,

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Speaker 1: calling me all kinds of names. He cursed her out

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Speaker 1: so badly that I was ashamed for her and scared

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Speaker 1: of him. I knew in the back of my mind

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Speaker 1: that she would be a problem and he might one

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Speaker 1: day curse me out like that if he got mad

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Speaker 1: enough at me, but I kept on dating him. When

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Speaker 1: he got a divorce, he opened up about how he

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Speaker 1: cheated on his wife twice and she caught him both times.

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Speaker 1: He told me that he'd gotten that out of his system,

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Speaker 1: and since he has a good woman in parentheses met,

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Speaker 1: he didn't have a reason to cheat. He's a great

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Speaker 1: lover and provider, and he's cultured. He asked me to

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Speaker 1: marry him on a Sunday in front of my mother,

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Speaker 1: and I said yes. By that Wednesday, I found out

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Speaker 1: he might have another woman that he was sleeping with,

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Speaker 1: and she said he told her he wants a future

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Speaker 1: with her. I told her that I'm engaged to him,

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Speaker 1: and she was surprised. I called him at work and

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Speaker 1: he said he wanted to talk face to face. So

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Speaker 1: he picked me up from work and we drove an

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Speaker 1: hour to the lake and he had some snacks and

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Speaker 1: wine in the car. He told me that the lady

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Speaker 1: was lying and he thought I was smarter than that.

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Speaker 1: We made love on a blanket by the lake, and

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Speaker 1: my heart said that this was my husband. It was

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Speaker 1: the most romantic day ever. My heart flutters around him,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think I know him well enough to

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Speaker 1: marry him. Our wedding is in June, and I love him,

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Speaker 1: but dot dot I need more time. Are most people

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Speaker 1: uncertain before the wedding? Well, a lot are. I won't

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Speaker 1: say most, but a lot of people are. Yeah, uncertain

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Speaker 1: before the wedding. But you should be pretty certain though.

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Speaker 1: Haven't you heard the saying when people show you who

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Speaker 1: they are, believe them. I mean, this man has shown

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Speaker 1: you what he's capable of. You even said you were

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Speaker 1: afraid of him after he cursed his wife out like that,

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Speaker 1: but you still didn't break it off with him. You

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Speaker 1: said he's a good lover. No, you said he was

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Speaker 1: a great lover and provider. You know, those are wonderful

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Speaker 1: qualities in a man to be a great lover, great provider,

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Speaker 1: all of that. But did you forget did you forget

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Speaker 1: that he cheated on his wife twice? And then that's

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Speaker 1: why they're getting a divorce. Okay, So whatever you do,

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Speaker 1: you got to get to know this man. You got

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Speaker 1: to continue that. You may find other out, other things

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Speaker 1: that he does. The real him is going to eventually

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Speaker 1: show up. I mean, you know, I get the lake

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Speaker 1: and sex by the leg and the fruit and the

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Speaker 1: wine and the snacks and all of that, but you

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Speaker 1: got to listen to your gut. You obviously can't forget

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Speaker 1: how he acted when he was angry at his first wife.

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Speaker 1: Then you're wondering if one day maybe he could do

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Speaker 1: that to you. Well, he certainly has the capacity for

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Speaker 1: it now, doesn't he. So I suggest to you, guys,

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Speaker 1: go to marriage counseling before getting married, even you know,

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Speaker 1: if you even are still considering taking that step. You

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Speaker 1: guys need some kind of understanding, some kind of guidance.

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Speaker 1: Marriage is one of the biggest things you can do

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Speaker 1: in life, So you need to do whatever you can

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Speaker 1: to protect yourself. Tell him you want to go to

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Speaker 1: marriage counseling first and see how that goes.

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Speaker 3: Steve, you know what, I happen to agree with everything

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Speaker 3: Shirley said. I do, lady. I just want to add

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Speaker 3: this one thing. I love him. But okay, you know,

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Speaker 3: my father used to tell me all the time, if

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Speaker 3: when you say butt indicates everything you said in front

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 2: So when you're talking to me and you.

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Speaker 3: Say butt, boy just noted whatever you said before, don't

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Speaker 3: even apply no more.

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Speaker 2: And that's the case right here.

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Speaker 3: But this is a case of intuition, and God gives

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Speaker 3: intuition to women to protect you from the hunter, which

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Speaker 3: is us. See, we have hunting skills, you have intuition

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Speaker 3: that which is your safeguard against us. But y'all keep

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Speaker 3: ignoring the intuition because you want to believe your heart

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Speaker 3: instead of your mind. And that's where the problem starts.

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Speaker 3: You're thirty year old professional. You're dating a man that

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Speaker 3: just got a divorce. He was still married when you

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Speaker 3: get married. Y'all ain't go out till he moved out

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Speaker 3: of his house. He was still married but legally separated.

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Speaker 3: On your first date, his wife followed him, and she

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Speaker 3: made a huge scene in Pulley called you all kind

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Speaker 3: of name. He cuts out so bad. You felt bad

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Speaker 3: for her, and you were scared of him. And then

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Speaker 3: you knew in the back of your mind. See, here

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Speaker 3: we go, the mind, now the mind. The mind is

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Speaker 3: where the intuition resides. Heart is it gets you in trouble.

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Speaker 3: Your mind is where that I knew in the back

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Speaker 3: of my mind she would be a problem, and he

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Speaker 3: might one day cuss me out like that if he

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Speaker 3: got mad enough in me when we come back.

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Speaker 2: That has set the toe for the rest of my answer.

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Speaker 2: All right, I understand what I'm going.

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Speaker 1: Right. We'll have part two of Steve's response coming up

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Speaker 1: at twenty three minutes after the hour of today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter subject I love him but dot dot dot. We'll

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Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening hard

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Speaker 1: Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: Strubberry letter, the subject I love him but do well.

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Speaker 3: Here we go, perfect case of a woman following her

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Speaker 3: heart and ignoring her intuition. Your intuition is in your mind.

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Speaker 3: Your heart is filled with nothing but emotions. Your heart hurts,

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Speaker 3: your heart bleeds, your heart loves, your heart breaks. All

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Speaker 3: that your mind just thinks, and that's where you intuition is.

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Speaker 3: Stop ignoring it. Ladies, you're thirty year old woman dating

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Speaker 3: the man got a divorce. You made it while he

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Speaker 3: was married, but you all didn't go out until he

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Speaker 3: moved out the house. He was still married but legally separated.

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Speaker 3: Y'all went out on your first date. His wife followed.

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Speaker 2: Y'all made a huge scene, call him all kinds of names.

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Speaker 3: He cussed out. He custs out so bad. You was

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Speaker 3: ashamed for her, but you were scared of him. Then

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Speaker 3: here we go. I knew in the back of my

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Speaker 3: mind that she would be a problem and he might

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Speaker 3: one day cuss me out like that if he got

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Speaker 3: mad enough at me. Now you knew this in the

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Speaker 3: back of your mind. That's where you're into wish and resigned.

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Speaker 3: But I kept on dating. When he got a divorce,

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Speaker 3: he opened up about how he had cheated on his

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Speaker 3: wife twice, and she caught him both times.

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Speaker 2: Damn this dude, This dude can't cheat.

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Speaker 3: He cheated on his wife twice, she caught him both times.

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Speaker 2: Y'all went on one date.

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Speaker 3: She caught y'all asked inn, this dude's track record for

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Speaker 3: getting caught. He you dating somebody real stupid. Now, I

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Speaker 3: just want you to know that. You know, he told

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Speaker 3: me that he got that out of his system since

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Speaker 3: he has a good woman and he didn't have a

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Speaker 3: reason to treat cheat. Now here you go. He's a

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Speaker 3: good lover and provider and he's cultured. But he's stupid though.

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Speaker 3: See that's the part you're leaving out. He's a great lover, provider,

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Speaker 3: he's cultured, and he's stupid. He asked me to marry

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Speaker 3: him on Sunday in front of my mama, and I said, yes,

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Speaker 3: now it's Sunday.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: By that Wednesday, three damn days, I found out he

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Speaker 3: might have another woman that he was sleeping with, and.

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Speaker 2: She said he told her that he wants the future

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Speaker 2: with her.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, his wife busted him twice, y'all went

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Speaker 3: on one date she busted y'all, he asked you to

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Speaker 3: marry him on Sunday on Wednesday, you done busted his

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Speaker 3: ass again. How dumb is this man? Right here? You're

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Speaker 3: dating somebody? That stupid man. He can't cover tracks. He

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Speaker 3: might be a good provider and he might be a

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Speaker 3: good lover, but he's not a good protector. See, he

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Speaker 3: don't know how to protect a woman's feelings. He not

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Speaker 3: gonna guard your heart because he reckless. He's stupid. She said.

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Speaker 3: He told her he wants some future with her. I

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Speaker 3: told her I'm engaged in him. She was surprised, really

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Speaker 3: when y'all engaged. I called him at work and he

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Speaker 3: said he wants to talk face to faith. See that,

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Speaker 3: see that face to face. That gave him time to

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Speaker 3: get itself together. So he picked you up from work

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Speaker 3: and we drove an hour or two of lake, and

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Speaker 3: he had some snacks and wine in the car. Well,

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Speaker 3: ain't that a good thing? Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna go fix her all this busting me. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: give me some crackers and some wine. Gonna get some cheese,

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Speaker 3: cheese blocks, cut him up. Don't get me a damn blank.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna talk to her down here by this damn lake. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: good thing. He bought them snacks. He told me that

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Speaker 3: the lady was lying, and he thought I was smarter

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Speaker 3: than that. Wait a minute, if the lady lined, how

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Speaker 3: did you find the lady?

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Speaker 2: What you just mean to tell me?

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Speaker 3: That you pulled a woman's name out of thin air

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Speaker 3: and called her and she just happened to know who

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Speaker 3: he was. No, he told you the lady was lying,

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Speaker 3: and he thought I was smarter than that.

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Speaker 2: You are smarter.

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Speaker 3: You found out Wednesday, right after he asked you to

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Speaker 3: marry him. Sunday we made love on a blanket by

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Speaker 3: the lake, and my heart said, this is my hood.

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Speaker 2: He go, you can you go to mess around with

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Speaker 2: your heart? Here your heart go, ladies, here you go.

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Speaker 2: Heart told me this was my hunts.

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Speaker 3: Your brain just had you call a woman out of

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Speaker 3: nodamn where bingo. She was having a future with the

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Speaker 3: dude too. So now it's really three chicks that his

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Speaker 3: wife he was cheating on. You busted him with one,

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Speaker 3: and the wife then busted him with the two he

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Speaker 3: cheated on, and y'all on your first day now, dumb

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Speaker 3: ass is back at it again. We made love on

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Speaker 3: the blanket body lake, and my heart said, this is

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Speaker 3: my horse. It was the most romantic day ever. You

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Speaker 3: need to have some more damn days, then, how is

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Speaker 3: this the most romantic day ever? On the day that

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Speaker 3: you found out he was sleeping with somebody else? This

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Speaker 3: is the most romantic day. You need to hear him

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Speaker 3: have some more damn days. Our wedding is in June.

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Speaker 3: My heart flutters around him, but I don't know him

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Speaker 3: well enough to marry him. Our wedding is in June,

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Speaker 3: and I love him, but I need more time. Why

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Speaker 3: don't you take more time? Ain't nothing to say. You

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Speaker 3: got to get married in June.

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Speaker 2: Call it off so.

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Speaker 3: You can find out what you really got and you

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Speaker 3: might find out a whole lot more. Are most people

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Speaker 3: uncertain before the wedding? What is you worrying about? Most people?

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Speaker 3: You wrote the damn letter?

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Speaker 2: You are?

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Speaker 3: You are concerned and you need to be You need

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Speaker 3: to call is weding off and get yourself together until

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Speaker 3: you notice man better.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. Thank you, Steve.

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Speaker 1: It's Steve Barby FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up

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Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour, It's Junior with

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk and we'll get into that right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to Harvey Morning Show.