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Speaker 1: And now please welcome to the stage live at the

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Speaker 1: west Comedy Theater in Santa Monica, California, the Alchemy This Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, please be seated. A welcome back to another

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Speaker 1: episode of Alchemy This. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. What's that? Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's Kevin Pollock. Almost enough time to get my glasses on. Um.

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Speaker 1: This is a very special live on stage episode of

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Speaker 1: from the West Side Comedy Theater in the gorgeous alley

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Speaker 1: behind the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, California. What's that? Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know which film or TV thing you saw me?

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Speaker 1: And so I come on, friend, you've you've got to

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Speaker 1: do some of the lifting here. I can't go down

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Speaker 1: the complete list of Oh man, they just announced my flight,

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Speaker 1: so do what do I really need? Seriously? I mean,

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Speaker 1: can we just take a photo? And how do you

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Speaker 1: not have a phone? Dude? I'm gonna miss but oh

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Speaker 1: this is your wife. Hi, nice to meet you. You do,

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Speaker 1: thank you? Yes, we're shooting season three right now, which

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Speaker 1: is why I've really got to get on that flight. Sure, sure,

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Speaker 1: let's take a photo. Great, could you hold a little

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Speaker 1: higher so I have a chin? Thanks? Okay, nice to

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Speaker 1: meeting you too, but I digress. Let's meet our alchemists

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Speaker 1: in no particular order to say hello to Mark Gagliano,

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Speaker 1: marky g. Since it's been said that everyone has their price,

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Speaker 1: how much would it take, honestly, if you just stop

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Speaker 1: your excellent work on the CBS hit series Blood and

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Speaker 1: Treasure in order to do six more years as the

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Speaker 1: genie in the Disneyland production of a Laddin. Uh, it

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Speaker 1: would take exactly. Wow, we could definitely do a collection

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Speaker 1: here tonight. It's on. Stop the president. It's Craig Kakowski. Kakao.

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Speaker 1: What was the last real job that you held before

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Speaker 1: collecting those surefire paychecks of show business? Full time? I

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Speaker 1: sold cookbooks door to door? Well, yeah you did, would

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Speaker 1: you like? Yes? Please exactly close the barn doors. Jerry

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Speaker 1: Greers here, that's me, that's me Greer. As the day

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Speaker 1: is long, let's match game it up, shall we? Okay?

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Speaker 1: When the doctor slapped your assi at birth instead of

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Speaker 1: crying you blank being brought into this wonderful world, the

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Speaker 1: doctor slapped your bottom instead of crying you there it is.

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Speaker 1: I sang a song and I still remember it. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: we'd love to hear it sometimes. All right, let's go on,

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Speaker 1: Hi ho, say hey to Carl like a cows gig,

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Speaker 1: Mrs c for your first furries meet up. What's your

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Speaker 1: outfit of choice? And why my my animals outfit? My

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Speaker 1: outfit a gosh banana? All right, we've got some fa Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, why not? Why wouldn't? And last, but I

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Speaker 1: will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger.

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Speaker 1: If you think him least, it's James, he need thank you, James,

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Speaker 1: Jules and Vincent. Give me any two sentences from a

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Speaker 1: Quentin Tarantino film. Please, Oh how about you give my

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Speaker 1: wife a massage on the foot. Uh, that's too intimate

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Speaker 1: for me just to just to thank you. You can

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Speaker 1: do the whole film. Thank you very much. All right,

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Speaker 1: let's get to our first scene. All of today tonight's

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Speaker 1: scene suggestions were gathered from our listener emails. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit yours, please right to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene

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Speaker 1: comes from Gabby, who wrote, hello, I went to high

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Speaker 1: school with Joey Greer. I went to an all boys

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Speaker 1: high and one of the funniest things I ever watched

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Speaker 1: him do was a prank call uh to a mutual

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Speaker 1: friend named Alex Valdes or Valdez, who was the president

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Speaker 1: or something high up at a local fraternity, and he

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Speaker 1: convinced Alex that he was a fellow fat brother flying

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Speaker 1: in from out of town who needed to stay at

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Speaker 1: the frat house. But it was a never nude who

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Speaker 1: would need any shower in the communal frat showers in

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Speaker 1: a bathing suit. It was bringing also bringing along his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend and her little brother. I would love to hear

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Speaker 1: seeing inspired by this, just started listening to the podcast

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Speaker 1: and love it. Gabby Fernandez, Are you're gonna get that? Uh?

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Speaker 1: Who don't actually answer the phone at the frat? Dude?

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Speaker 1: Please just get let the machine get it just rings NonStop. Man,

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Speaker 1: Just get the phone. We'll get one of the get

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Speaker 1: one of the what do they call interns or not?

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Speaker 1: What do they call? Would you like me to get

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Speaker 1: the phone? Yeah? Okay, hello, I don't think that that

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Speaker 1: sounds appropriate. We are hold on one second. Please, this

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Speaker 1: seems pretty important, do you one of you guys? I

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Speaker 1: don't pay bills here, I don't It's really look intern

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Speaker 1: and you can't hand there's not gonna be able to

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Speaker 1: be a part of the I mean it's this person

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Speaker 1: is clearly using adult language, and yeah, we're doing you

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Speaker 1: a solid bite instead of calling you a pledge, calling

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Speaker 1: you an intern. So how about appreciating that for a second. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll do my best and see if I can answer

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Speaker 1: along represent the frat. Okay, I'm going to hold on.

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Speaker 1: There's a there's a call online to hold on. Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: I'm looking fitted Oh, Derek, Derek's here, but I've actually

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Speaker 1: got somebody under the Derek is man. Talk to Dick

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Speaker 1: that he is sick, he's really hung over. Just give

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Speaker 1: me one second, okay, like what kind of thing hung over? Sick?

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Speaker 1: Like throwing up? Like why well from alcohol? Like how

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Speaker 1: out of his mouth? Just hold on one second. I've

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Speaker 1: got an adult on the other line, and turn about

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Speaker 1: giving less information out about the members of the front.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I thought I was like, who is

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Speaker 1: this who loves that that you were just giving information

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Speaker 1: to about the fellow brothers. It sounds like a woman's

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Speaker 1: still on the line. It's a woman. Into that's a lady. Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 1: hold on one second. I've got someone on the other line. No,

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Speaker 1: don't hold on, I have to. I'm sorry. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to hold on, but this other person's been holding

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Speaker 1: for a long time. Just a pledge. It's fine. Look,

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Speaker 1: if dad's not around, I got all day. Okay, hold

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Speaker 1: on one second. I'm just gonna take this call into

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Speaker 1: the other room. Is that all right? It's a cord,

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Speaker 1: So just I'm gonna try to shut this door most

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Speaker 1: of the way. I think we're alone. I don't think

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Speaker 1: the doors really should. It's shut as much as I

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Speaker 1: can with a cord in it. So now we're a loan. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: now we're alone. So how old are you? I? Oh, oh,

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Speaker 1: how do you do terrif? Are you as grandmother? Well

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Speaker 1: we met at this place. Wasn't his mom's house. It

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Speaker 1: was across the street from where anywhere. Look, dude, I

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Speaker 1: have the hottest home with the hottest women. Okay, anything

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Speaker 1: you want to do. I mean, they go to be women. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a hot woman home. Yeah. They to bro you

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Speaker 1: on this man, all right. They go to bed because

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Speaker 1: you have left me in the past, I'm not gonna do.

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Speaker 1: They go to bed around six. They like their food

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Speaker 1: to be liquid. They're hot, all right, So you guys

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Speaker 1: down to go in there. Of course you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: have us right, No, not gonna look. Are you guys

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Speaker 1: down to slime or not? I'm down to slime. You

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Speaker 1: guys down to line. I gotta see your I d

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Speaker 1: s uh. We all have the same ideas. Man, You

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Speaker 1: college kids keep coming here. I keep telling you you

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Speaker 1: can't get in. You can't get slimed unless you're all

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Speaker 1: twenty one? Bro, you have twenty one? Did not see

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Speaker 1: the white in my beard? Well, now that you mentioned it,

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Speaker 1: it's very distinguished, sir. You know what's your idea? Can

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Speaker 1: guys inside? What's your idea? Man? Huh, my idea? Don't

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Speaker 1: try to turn this around on me. You want to

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Speaker 1: see my idea. There's a badge that's not even a

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Speaker 1: police batch, that's a security badge. He's got a security

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Speaker 1: bag exactly. So you show me your ideas, and they

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Speaker 1: better be two very different ideas or you are not

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Speaker 1: getting in to see these octogenarian honeys. All right, Oh man,

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Speaker 1: they're eight sided ships, wild f all eight sides. Come on,

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Speaker 1: let's know, way you can all ag man, my Derek

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Speaker 1: or my Derek direk man, you the man Man, Nobody's ever,

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Speaker 1: Nobody's ever after all eight sides before. Come on in, Derek,

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Speaker 1: but your friends stays out here. Let me just give

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Speaker 1: my I d first. Thank great, and Derek think of me. Hey,

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Speaker 1: what's so? What's going on? What's why? I'm just eating

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Speaker 1: this liquid broccoli? Interested Oh yeah, I love liquid broccoli.

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Speaker 1: Come sit down next to me, to this one side

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Speaker 1: of me, this one right here. Come sit say. Oh,

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Speaker 1: there's so many sides of you, but I don't know

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Speaker 1: where to be. I prefer my left side, my shoulder. Look,

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Speaker 1: my name is Derek. Okay, my friends call me d

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Speaker 1: Man or d Dog or dog Man or man Dog.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot. But if you want to call me,

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Speaker 1: is the number of the frat all right? Okay, Well

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Speaker 1: it sounds like a really romantic story. I don't think

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Speaker 1: I could take it. I don't think I could take

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Speaker 1: the Demon's girl though. Well, I don't know. It didn't

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Speaker 1: last that long for me. I don't know if I'll

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Speaker 1: last much longer, honestly, but but I'd like to shoo it.

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Speaker 1: Give it a shot. You sound really kind. I've got

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Speaker 1: a kind soul, and people say I got kind eyes.

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Speaker 1: He's sound really generous. I'm very generous. I need to

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Speaker 1: borrow some money. I probably feel about that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'll give you what I can. Pitch, pleitch, keep it down, man.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Derek, I'm sorry. It's like you're inside my

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Speaker 1: head right now. I'm not fluing. Well. I know I

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Speaker 1: can tell you by the bucket next to you. I

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Speaker 1: told you to close the door all the way. I

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Speaker 1: can't close it all the way. It's got there's a cord. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I gotta keep it kind of quiet. Where do you

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Speaker 1: want me to meet you? I want you to meet

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Speaker 1: me at my place. You gotta get dirts, some chicken,

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Speaker 1: little soup, and another case of beer for us. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll get it really quick, and saltines. Of course, I

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Speaker 1: would not make that mistake again. Why does everybody yell

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Speaker 1: at you? It's because I'm kind of like the boss

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Speaker 1: and they know I can take a lot around here,

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Speaker 1: so they give me a lot. Like great. I like

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Speaker 1: the boss man around here too. That doesn't surprise me

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Speaker 1: in the least bit. Give me an address quick, because

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Speaker 1: I gotta get off. Okay. I'll give you an address quick,

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Speaker 1: nine Street, okay, And that's in the city proper, right, Okay,

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Speaker 1: bye bye, Bledge what get the phone? I've got actually

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Speaker 1: some stuff I've got to do I can't okay. Hello, alright, alright,

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Speaker 1: I know this is important guys. It's the adult. It's

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Speaker 1: like the real adult, not college. What are those peanuts adults? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I believe it is, Derek. Do you think you could

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Speaker 1: take a call? Are you too sick? This call is

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Speaker 1: for Derek. Also, I don't know who it's for. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: let me see if I let me try what what what? What? What? What? Derek?

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Speaker 1: And it's definitely for Derek. I think I came across

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Speaker 1: offensive trying to use this language. Derek, I think you

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Speaker 1: might be in trouble. This person sounds pretty serious. It

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Speaker 1: sounds like it's my former elementary school teacher. But not

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Speaker 1: speaking Derek. Alright, uh, put you on speaker. Yeah, I know. Raw. Well,

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Speaker 1: I just had a few drinks last I'm in college.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to celebrate all right. Wa wa No, I

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Speaker 1: mean I'm taking geography. I'm doing well that Yes I am.

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Speaker 1: Wahwa rwanda? Was that right? Okay? Yeah, look, I appreciate

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Speaker 1: you checking up on me. Okay, but I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: all right. Wa Wong Wong Wong. I love you too.

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm gonna I'm just gonna go get some

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Speaker 1: We only have oyster crackers, so I gotta take your cars.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. That's why I gotta take your car.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be a real quick trip. I'll be back

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Speaker 1: in a couple of hours. Okay, we gotta get this

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Speaker 1: guy when he comes back. And I'm not working around

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Speaker 1: why we kill him? Perfect? How should we do it?

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like an accident. Man. I'm so I'm

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm always down to kill interns. But like

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Speaker 1: hearing that elementary speaker talked to Derek, and it's just like, man,

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Speaker 1: that was emotional. Man, it was like he got you

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Speaker 1: at such a young age and just want to check up.

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Speaker 1: What you sure you're still doing? You don't you have

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Speaker 1: somebody cares about you that way? Oh? Man? No? Man

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Speaker 1: burned bridges, man, Oh, I'm so distant. How did your brand?

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Speaker 1: Those bridges metaphorical match and that gasoline? That was my ego? Man? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I was violent, right and I cursed, you know,

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Speaker 1: I started real fires. You know. It just sucks, man,

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Speaker 1: It just sucks. What were the last three fives? You started? Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a promota fire, right, that was you? That was me,

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Speaker 1: That was me the pomonified. Yeah, I got that whole

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Speaker 1: new housing developed up. That was me. You were really hurt, right,

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Speaker 1: And then when I went over to the aquarium, I

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Speaker 1: let that on fire. It was so hard. It's hard

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Speaker 1: to send. Why would you give yourself such a hard

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Speaker 1: because I could do it right, Okay, because if I

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Speaker 1: don't send those standards for myself, who's gonna do that?

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Speaker 1: And then the third one, of course, was with my family. Right.

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Speaker 1: I was given this address to pick up a woman

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Speaker 1: by the name of Jane. But this looks like a hospital.

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Speaker 1: Let me see you, I hear's my I d Derek. Huh,

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Speaker 1: you're the fourth Derek I've had try to walk into

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Speaker 1: this place this week. Yeah, old on, let me give

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Speaker 1: you a different idea. How's this one? Terribly sorry, Adam,

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Speaker 1: We'll come right in. Thank you and matas Scene one.

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Speaker 1: Scene two comes to us from Desiree, who wrote, Hello Altemus,

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Speaker 1: desiray here from Johannesburg, South Africa. I listened to your

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Speaker 1: shenanigans on my daily fight through Joe Bird traffic. And

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Speaker 1: a door. Every word you're robbin in his teeny tiny

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Speaker 1: hot pants as he perpetually sits waiting in the batmobile.

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Speaker 1: Is my spirit animal. South Africa is a pretty odd

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Speaker 1: place in that while we're known for things like conducting

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Speaker 1: the first ever heart transplant, inventing the cat scan, and

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Speaker 1: having the second city in the world to install electric

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Speaker 1: street lights, settle the fun down, Jesus, we get it.

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Speaker 1: A vast majority of South Africans believe even these supernatural

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Speaker 1: tocore Loshi is a dwarf like, mischievous and evil spirit

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Speaker 1: that comes out at night and causes general havoc. Many

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Speaker 1: people prompt out there beds up with bricks or paint

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Speaker 1: cans so the tocore Loshi can't reach them at night.

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Speaker 1: He's also an excellent scapegoat well, of course, as you

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Speaker 1: can see from this newspaper article which I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to read, but a link was given. Well just read

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Speaker 1: the link r k l p Q two. That's a

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Speaker 1: short link step so it does ask. Please go ahead

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Speaker 1: and have fun with Mr Toko Loshi. I'm sure you'll

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Speaker 1: be able to come up with an odd adventure for

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Speaker 1: him or a couple of his African spirit mates. Cheers

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Speaker 1: you beautiful humans. Desiree sheer Linger. Papa, Mama, Papa, what

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Speaker 1: the tooker lushi was in my room? And again it was?

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Speaker 1: It was, it was there. It told me he has

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Speaker 1: a schedule of events. Why do you think he comes

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Speaker 1: to see you, sweetheart? Your father and I were busy,

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Speaker 1: very busy. I'm telling you the truth that took her

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Speaker 1: Lushi was there. You wanted to sleep into bed with us.

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Speaker 1: No you can't. You cannot, not again. No one can

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Speaker 1: fucking hear you but me, And no one can fucking

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Speaker 1: hear me but you. I'm coming after your kids. I'm

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Speaker 1: coming after you to build that bed. All right, When

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Speaker 1: you want to go back to your bed, come on,

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Speaker 1: let's go back. Let's go back to your bed. I'll

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Speaker 1: take you back to her. Just go back to your bed.

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Speaker 1: Your bed that's so low to the ground. You want

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Speaker 1: four more bed. Mommy has her sexy dress on right now,

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Speaker 1: So I really need you to go back to Please

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Speaker 1: let me sleep in the bed with you. No, that's

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Speaker 1: a horrible idea. Let's get those paint cans. You believe me,

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Speaker 1: don't you. Of course, I do take some more bed

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Speaker 1: and drill you go back to bed. There's too many.

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Speaker 1: I think just one more. No one believes you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: prop up the corner of the bed there with your head. Okay,

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Speaker 1: got the pint, all right? Now the other one a

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Speaker 1: really long time. I need you to be tough. Come on,

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Speaker 1: prop up that other corner with your head. Good, good, good,

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Speaker 1: all right? Just two more, buddy, Okay? And oh dad,

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Speaker 1: please please please okay with this angle, it's you can't

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Speaker 1: even say it. I'm right. I am coming for you,

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Speaker 1: just as sure as your parents are going through something,

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Speaker 1: now are you? Are you a mom going through Matt? Matt,

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Speaker 1: The more that you coddle him, the dumber he becomes.

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Speaker 1: So I need you to stop. Okay, Okay, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go talk to your mom. Now, is everything? Okay, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk. Now, we're gonna talk. How long we're gonna

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Speaker 1: talk for thinks I haven't been okay for a while, kid,

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Speaker 1: because I might be talked out. Okay, I just might

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Speaker 1: be talked by the time I get back. You might

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Speaker 1: be talking. I might be talked out right now, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go. Your mom doesn't punch me, don't worry.

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Speaker 1: He's joking. You're take her out. He's gonna take me

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Speaker 1: out on a nice date. That's right, I'm gonna take alone. Okay,

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Speaker 1: one more time. Why do you think the Toko Lorshi

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Speaker 1: of all the children in all of South Africa's coming

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Speaker 1: after you? Why? Why are you the center of the

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Speaker 1: Toko Lorschi's universe? It has to be because so you

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Speaker 1: see why it's difficult for me to believe you. I

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Speaker 1: guess it's just I don't know. Ever since I picked

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Speaker 1: up those pebbles that Crescent Lake. You did not pick

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Speaker 1: up pebbles from Crescent Lake? Why? Because you wanted the tobols.

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Speaker 1: Give me the pebbles. Give me the pebbles. Do not

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Speaker 1: give him the pebbles. If you give him all the pebbles,

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Speaker 1: you'll never see me again the pebbles. Wait. Let take

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Speaker 1: this to your mom now, Okay, you you ring the

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Speaker 1: bell if there's any other trouble. Okay, you hear it

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Speaker 1: when you're up, That's what I'll do. I'll hear it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I got the pebbles. What is that? I took these

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Speaker 1: from Crystal Lake? Okay, And that's so, so you know what.

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Speaker 1: The moment is past, Matt. I'm ready to go to bed.

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Speaker 1: Now I really think you should too, should be talking

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Speaker 1: more to one another. Sorry, you bring the pebbles in here?

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Speaker 1: Now I'm your problem with a second, what was that?

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Speaker 1: What was that noise? What are you doing? What are

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00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: you doing right now? Are you doing your noise? I'm

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00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:11,959
Speaker 1: your problem right now? You got the pebbles literally here

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Speaker 1: in the room. I used to love it when you

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00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 1: would make funny voices like it really turned me on initially,

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00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: but recently I just want to connect with you. What

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Speaker 1: if I told you that the Tokoloshi was here as

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Speaker 1: Peter Falk, would you have a tendency to believe me? Then? Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm interested, I'm interested. Well here's your thing. I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to trouble you. I see you, what's your nightgown on?

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Speaker 1: And you're in bed. But there's a small, very dangerous

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Speaker 1: individual in the room when he's evil. All right, this

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Speaker 1: is working for me on ale, It really it really

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Speaker 1: goes there. Just give her one more thing, excuse me,

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00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: just one most thing please? Okay? Could it be? Can

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00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: I ask what you got your shoes? My wife she's

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00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: crazy about shoes. It seems like you two have got

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00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 1: this figured out now. Okay, thanks, I'm sorry, I can't

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Speaker 1: give you this table. It's reserved for a party of two. There,

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00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: they should be here any moment. Well, there's nobody's sitting

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Speaker 1: there now, I understand them. But the reservations for seven. Yeah,

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00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,120
Speaker 1: but I'm sure someone else at this restaurant's gonna get

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Speaker 1: up and you can just give them that table. It

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00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: doesn't work like that. Okay, what's it gonna take for

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00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: us to get a table? We're we're celebrating the anniversary. Yeah,

348
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 1: you can get some pebbles at Crystal Lake? Are you joking?

349
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Speaker 1: Are you joking? I'm not going to Crystal Lake. Okay?

350
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Speaker 1: Are you familiar with dangerous Crystal Lake? Kiss? I know

351
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Speaker 1: the fairy tales. It's it's not a fairy tale. There's

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Speaker 1: a guy with a hockey mask and he kills people. Okay, right,

353
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Speaker 1: am I crazy? If I crazy? Crazy? Stand I want

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Speaker 1: to eat at this restaurant. I know, I know. It

355
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Speaker 1: sounds like if we have to get pebbles at Crystal

356
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Speaker 1: Lake to get a good table, then you have to

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Speaker 1: get pebbles. I'm telling you, camp Crystal Lake. There's a

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Speaker 1: murderer over there and he's chopping people up. You want

359
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: me to go get pebbles from Crystal Lake if you

360
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,480
Speaker 1: want the table, I'm sorry, what do you think you're

361
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Speaker 1: gonna summon the Torcoloshi? The Torcoloshi? You know what? Actually

362
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Speaker 1: I happened to have some pebbles from Crystal Lake in

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Speaker 1: my car. Come what come up? Come with me, Come

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Speaker 1: with me, Come with me. Was there a problem stand

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00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: with that last couple? No, no, no no, we're just making

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Speaker 1: sure if they want the table they can have bringing

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Speaker 1: some pebbles from Crystal Lake. That's exactly right. How many

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Speaker 1: tables do we have opening up soon? Because soon we

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Speaker 1: get about six? And did you get my email about

370
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: here they are? Here's some pebbles. Open your hand up.

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Speaker 1: Why didn't you just say you had these in the

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Speaker 1: first place? I did. I forgot that I had my stone.

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Speaker 1: You had such a strange reaction to crystals. Want to

374
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 1: stay out of this. These are stones from out front.

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00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: I know not. I walked by them every day. My

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00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: husband says they're from Crystal Lake. Yes, And what's your

377
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:18,920
Speaker 1: husband good for? What's your husband good for? I'm not

378
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: doing this in front of them. Stand these are pebbles

379
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: from Crystal Lake. I tell you my word is good,

380
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: right right? Whatever I mean? This is the worst aniverse

381
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 1: we have ever had. We've had a lot of bad ones.

382
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 1: This isn't their first anniversary. Okay, what were some of

383
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:42,120
Speaker 1: the other bad ones? Well, our our our fifth year show.

384
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: Uh this is You can ride any of the animals,

385
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: but these animals look like they're for children to ride.

386
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: They are okay, Well we paint our douce. Honey, why

387
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: did you take me here? Stan? We wanted I dressed

388
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: for a nice evening out. I'm supposed to ride a goat.

389
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: Get on the goat. This is a gift for you.

390
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: Get on the coat, he says it. Compare your weight,

391
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 1: get on the goat. And the goat couldn't bear my weight.

392
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 1: It bit me, and I got a communicable disease and

393
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: I killed that coat. It pit my wife. It's not

394
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: a great anniversary happening. If I could say so, so, well,

395
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,120
Speaker 1: it wasn't the worst, right, So tonight you're gonna top

396
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: that one by grabbing some pebbles, obviously from the front

397
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: of the restaurants. Those are from Crystal Lake. Okay, And

398
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 1: that's what you want your wife to know about you

399
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: on your anniversary. I don't exactly understand. I just want

400
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,679
Speaker 1: a table, sir, I don't I don't know what I

401
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: had to get on the table with Chris with pebbles

402
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 1: from the front of the restaurant. That's that table is

403
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: still wide open. The sooner you drive to Crystal Lake,

404
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: get those fucking pebbles. The sooner we're gonna have a title.

405
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 1: Um hid excuse me to YouTube. Hey, it's my anniversary,

406
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: well our anniverse. We were wondering, like the three of us. Oh,

407
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 1: my wife over there, you can see her. That's Yesh.

408
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: I'm with him, despite the fact that he's standing twenty

409
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: ft away from me. I'm working a deal right now. Okay,

410
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 1: we want drugs, no, I I just it's really important

411
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 1: to me to get this table. If you guys don't

412
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: mind just waiting for whatever table opens up next. I

413
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: don't know. We really like to eat at seven. Yeah.

414
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 1: If I don't eat, get angry. It's gross. I am

415
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: this close. Yeah, far from your wife, you know that.

416
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: I just don't want her to hear. I told her

417
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: that we got a reservation. Okay, shouldn't have done that, liar, sir,

418
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 1: What was your name again? My name is Jerry, Jerry.

419
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: We have a reservation. Are lying to them listen. They've

420
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: already got her. Listen, stand Jerry, Can I ask you

421
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: a question? Yes, why don't you stand there? If you would? Please?

422
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: Would you? And if I take these two folks to

423
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: the table, what are you folks celebrating tonight? Anything? Oh?

424
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 1: Just being alive? Absolutely nothing at being alive table all

425
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: the time. So it's nothing too special. We're just hungry.

426
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: Tell me, Stan Jerry, please stay this, don't move. Don't move,

427
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: Stan Jerry, this sounds like security thing at this point.

428
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: Following just a little lady, stand by yourself. Please leave

429
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: me alone. You drink? Can we What are your names?

430
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: Here's our idea. As you can see, that's the colonel.

431
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: Oh wow. Collectively the two of you are in private hairs. Okay,

432
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 1: you're a colonel and a private colonel private hairs. Yeah.

433
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: What are you drinking tonight, miss um? Something fruity? Well,

434
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 1: I do like something fruity. Just a whole bunch of

435
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 1: mashed up strawberries and water. That sounds fantastic. We'll do

436
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:03,719
Speaker 1: three of those. Dear Tokyo Looshi, if you can just

437
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: redeem this man, I sell my soul to thy. Okay,

438
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: but you're sure I am a hundred percent sure I

439
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: need a table from my wife and I to have dinner.

440
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: You said you sell your soul to thy you sell

441
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: your soul to my what to Tokyolshi? Just to me

442
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: in general? Like I own you if I get you

443
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: this table? About fucking lud? All right, here's five pebbles.

444
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: Thank you? Excuse me? Where's the where's the excuse me?

445
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: I got some motherfucking pebbles from Crystal San your pebbles before? No,

446
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: these are special pebbles. Okay, did they come from crystal?

447
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: They came from the Tokyoshi. Here you go. Sure of

448
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 1: course these came from crystal. Oh my god, alrightmoth, we

449
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: gotta give him soft rocks. Don't touch I can't help it.

450
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it in my mouth. Don't put that?

451
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no, oh oh? Should I when this happened?

452
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: Wait a second, describe me with your feeling. It's burned

453
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: everything everything. Don't want to get some water? No? Let

454
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: it rude? Can my wife and I have that table

455
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 1: just a second? Stand? Okay, it's a nice kind of

456
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: pen on the middle, But outside of it, what could

457
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: I do to just kiss me? Maybe maybe throw up

458
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: the stone instead? Kiss me? I just feel like I

459
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 1: did everything you asked. I really need a table. We

460
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: made a deal. Your soul belongs to me. Wait right now,

461
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: there's a little kid in Johannesburg. Go scare the ship

462
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 1: out of him. But I'm gonna get a rest. Did

463
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: we're busy? Finally? Oh sweetheart, get the door. Yes, hell,

464
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: do you have a little child? I know it's weird,

465
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: but do you just tell the truth? Now? Can I

466
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: ask who you are and why you're on the porch?

467
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 1: My name is stand Jerry right. Why are you asking

468
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,479
Speaker 1: about our children? I've been sent to torture mentally, I

469
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: hold cross fingers your china. Mom, Hey, you thought you

470
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: would tell us that and then we'd let you in.

471
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: I don't have a choice, sir. I sold my soul

472
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: to the tokey Loshi. Oh right this way, Thank you.

473
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: I've got a special friend here. It needs to have

474
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 1: a few words with you. But here's the good news.

475
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: What this is good news. That means it's no longer

476
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: in your room. Come out of your room and talk

477
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: to this weirdo and we'll get rid of him. Would

478
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: you like something to drink? Really? I guess so. Actually

479
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: I haven't been told I can't have a drink? Do you?

480
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: What do you got? Why would someone tell you can't

481
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 1: have a drink? This is my first day is a

482
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: human being? No, I was a human being for a

483
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: long time and then I sold my soul and now

484
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: I'm here. That is complicated mythology. I couldn't agree more.

485
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: All right, well, here's a drink, thank you. Oh it's

486
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 1: just water. Okay, I thought you were offering a drink, Marjorie. Yes,

487
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: uh to me, it's not crazy about coming out of

488
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: his room, preppy. I could go in there. No no, no, no, no,

489
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: no no no. Oh, you're definitely not going in uh. Colonel.

490
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 1: I just want to say that this is the best

491
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: anniversary that I've ever had. We didn't know you celebrate. Well,

492
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: we're celebrating the end of my relationship with Stan. This

493
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 1: is the first anniversary I've had where a goat hasn't

494
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: been slaughtered in front of me. It's early sweet, Yes,

495
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: it is more strawberries and water. Maybe you like to

496
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: do some Indeed, I can get a table here if

497
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: you want. You can get a table, of course I can't. Well,

498
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: I'd like to see you talk to the maitre d

499
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: and get a table. Okay, we're happy to do that. Hey, yes, listen,

500
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: I got some pebbles from Crystal Lake and I have

501
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 1: be loved the table. Are the real pebbles? What did

502
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,720
Speaker 1: I just what did I just say? Let me see you?

503
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, don't put one in your mouth. It's

504
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: so smooth. Don't in your mouth. Don't I'm gonna put

505
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: it in my mouth. Oh but it's good. It's good

506
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:12,439
Speaker 1: in the middle though, right do you think you would

507
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: have learned ten minutes ago? And that has seen to

508
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 1: everybody see too. Oh the torque or low sheet I

509
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: made a lot of sense. Is a real thing. I

510
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: read the article. I'm gonna put it on the on

511
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: our Instagram feed because it really is something you all

512
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:37,919
Speaker 1: need to see. It's tortured so many people. Our last

513
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: scene tonight comes from Aaron Oh all female scene suggestions

514
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 1: and I'd like that. Aaron Road in hers High Alchemists.

515
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: I want to start by thanking you for getting me

516
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: through hours of traffic after a particularly stressful day managing

517
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: the laboratory at a small biotech company. How small. My

518
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: husband and I often quote you on the regular, particularly

519
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: quote I am meat man. I think that's a favorite

520
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: around here too, and of course quote tickets tickets I

521
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: love they remember the specifics, and we of course don't

522
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 1: my scene suggestion. It's based not as loosely as I

523
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 1: prefer on my work experience. A group of brilliant scientists

524
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 1: who cannot perform basic day to day functions such as

525
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 1: changing a clock, the batteries that has lightbulbs, or going

526
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: a star room to find some supplies that we're out of.

527
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: Can't wait to fall down this rabbit hole with y'all.

528
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: Aaron from San Diego PS Craig, I too have a

529
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: fifteen plus year old Netflix DVD of Memento Yes you did,

530
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 1: which I too have never watched. Thank you, Aaron from

531
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 1: San Diego. I am. I just have to pour watch

532
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: from the beaker into a larger beaker and then I

533
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: can begin to The beakers are not the concern right now.

534
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: I know you can. You're always conserving. Can we can

535
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: someone please find the breaker and turn the power back

536
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: on in this building before you to deal with your beakers.

537
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: Are you saying that's something you can't do? I mean,

538
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: I guess I could do it, but I shouldn't have to.

539
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,240
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be supervising things. Not I'm doing things,

540
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: but I'm actually conducting an experiment. So perhaps if someone

541
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: else they could look for the breaker. But fine, I'll

542
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,800
Speaker 1: go look for the breaker. You don't have to. We

543
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 1: could choose one of the others. But which Tim, Tim?

544
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 1: Tim can't find a breaker? Tim, if you had to

545
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: gundy your head, could you find a breaker? Yeah? I

546
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: guess you. Alright, Tim, go find the breaker. No, there

547
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 1: might be in this part of the world. Look, I

548
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: was as a kid. I had a whole experience and

549
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: I don't like bringing it up. But oh, you're that

550
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: Tim from the Mate for TV movie. Yes, how did

551
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: we never know? Did you really put paint cans under

552
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 1: a bit? Yeah? It was over exaggerate. I didn't use

553
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:08,439
Speaker 1: my head, but yes, that is fantastic. I just gotta

554
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: get the contains of the smaller beacon into the lodger beacon.

555
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: And then did you want me to check into darkness here? Tim?

556
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: All right, all right, excuse me, Richard from Dow Industries.

557
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,919
Speaker 1: You might notice that your power has been shut off.

558
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: We're closing shop here, But what does that mean? It's

559
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: our shop? Well it will technically you're underneath the Dow

560
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 1: Industries umbrella, and what you're working on is no longer important.

561
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: So we've shut the power off. You'll notice the phones

562
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: don't work, but you can take these glass jars and go.

563
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 1: So you had the decency to come all the way

564
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,399
Speaker 1: down here to tell us that to our faces. I'm

565
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: showing this property to someone else soon soon, So we

566
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: would we were just part of the trip. Is that it?

567
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: You were making the trip down anyway? Kind of the

568
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: two birds one honest, you're you don't matter to me.

569
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: You I've done here. Hey wait a second, did Doug

570
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 1: sent We asked you, We asked you to crack the

571
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: genome and you did right. What more do we need

572
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: from you? I mean there's there's there's a lot of

573
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 1: chromosomes in you're asking to people who correct didn't know

574
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: what more we might know. I'm just saying we've used

575
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 1: your talents and now we're going to use this building

576
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:33,719
Speaker 1: for something different, probably storage. Yeah, I'm telling you it

577
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: used to be a laboratory around here. They did crazy

578
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 1: stuff around here. What kind of crazy stuff did they do? Marchha,

579
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 1: I feel like had experiments on real living things. Get

580
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: the f out of here, You get the f out here.

581
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: I'm right here. I'm gonna get the f out here,

582
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: just kidding. Oh, what the hell's going on with your

583
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: kids running around? What are you doing? Your old creepy man?

584
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: And didn't there used to be a laboratory here, like

585
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: a really scary one where they did all these kind

586
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: of crazy experiments. That's where I was born. I was

587
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: born here. I told you what, you're clearly at least

588
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: seventy five years old. Why why do you look at

589
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 1: me when you said that I will know God, get

590
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 1: the funk out of here? I said, um, uh, doctor,

591
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: doctor dr Anderson. This this this genome that we crack, Um,

592
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: it's it. It seems to be turning into a person. Sure, No,

593
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: I mean like the lab the Petriot dishes, which a

594
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 1: person is growing from the Oh he's growing quickly. It

595
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: doesn't seem very happy. No, I what what are we

596
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: gonna do? Him or her? A name? Uh? Gwendolen Gwendolen

597
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 1: Sears told me that you were growing in a Patriots

598
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:01,879
Speaker 1: or week ago and now you're seventy five year old

599
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 1: man named Gwendolyn Streets choice. I didn't make it. I

600
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: mean I was born and I was developed at an

601
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 1: accelerated rate. I could live to a hundred thousand years.

602
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: I don't know. You don't look great right now. Well,

603
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm a smoker. I mean, his clothes are really tight

604
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: on him. It looks like he grew into and out

605
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: of them a little bit. You know what happened to

606
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 1: the scientists who built you? Your mama and your papa.

607
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 1: I had two dads. That's cool to doctor. Dad's all right.

608
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be relocreating you to be working on

609
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: the Beyond Burger. You're gonna be located in Nebraska and

610
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 1: much further beyond the Burger. Are we expected to get well?

611
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: We really really, it's just at this point mass producing

612
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: its making more from cracking the Japs into mass producing

613
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:13,360
Speaker 1: genetically modified food. I don't hold on mysell phone. Hello,

614
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: how I'm looking for dork. I'm so sorry this is

615
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: You've got the wrong number. I'm from Dow Industry. Is

616
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 1: a pretty important guy. Hug you anything I can help you?

617
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 1: From from with from with, from O came by. It

618
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: was just a hot chick. Hold on, so and we've

619
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,240
Speaker 1: got you located. You're just gonna be working on bleach

620
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: uh so, beyond Burger and bleach. You're you're you're you're

621
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: splitting the whole family up. We're not both do we guys?

622
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: Aren't a family? Are a family? Look? That is our

623
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: teenage son, that is now our twenty year old son.

624
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's wrong with that? This? Everything sucks? Son.

625
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sorry. We we apparently have to go. Good leave.

626
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 1: We want you to stay here though, don't leave, find

627
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: a place to hide. Okay, okay, everything all right? Just

628
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: remember us? Well, is everything okay? Between you two? You'll

629
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: find something written on a brick eventually, just keep looking

630
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: for it. Remember us, well, So you're supposed to be

631
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: looking for something on a brick. There's so many bricks

632
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 1: around here, you're never gonna find that Brickwindling. Oh wait,

633
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: look here's a brick with something written on it. Right here.

634
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 1: Look at that brick. Care you go. It's smooth and soft.

635
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: It's not like a brick at all. No, it's what's

636
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 1: written on it. It's a symbol. It's a heart. It's love.

637
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 1: That's what it was. The brick was love. It was

638
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,479
Speaker 1: a building block to relationship, sort of tearing things down.

639
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: It was a piece to connect pizza to bridge. What

640
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 1: should we put on the brick. If we have only

641
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: one choice to put on, I mean, I think a

642
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 1: lot of pressure the Declaration of Independence. Honey. Well, we're

643
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 1: having a conversation. Okay, honey, it's Tammy. Where do I

644
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: got looking for the breaker? It's so dark. Oh, that's

645
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 1: why we need you to find it. Maybe an etching

646
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 1: of us, like a photo, like a picture of that

647
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: would be lovely to do for him. But do you

648
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: know how to draw? No? I mean I can draw

649
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: a heart, just a heart. Let's put a heart on that.

650
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:39,240
Speaker 1: It will send that correct message. I loved Gwendoline, we loved.

651
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: Why Why do you think they just didn't tell you

652
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: to your face? I don't know. I'm not sure. Stop smoking,

653
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 1: I can't help. Wait, let me try. I want to

654
00:44:53,840 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: try to smoke. Try to so good? Did you drinking? Sleeping?

655
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,919
Speaker 1: I don't know how much time I got left? Well?

656
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 1: Is there some message you want us to relate to

657
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 1: your MoMA and your papa? Wait, you should draw it

658
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: on the other side of this brick. All right, I'll

659
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 1: use my blood. It's a balloon, it's it's it's words. Look,

660
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: if you carve a balloon into the brick with your blood.

661
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: You're gonna summon the hokey pokey. Everybody knows that don't

662
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:48,680
Speaker 1: do that, and that's it's too low. Everyone gets my

663
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:52,919
Speaker 1: name wrong. Holy sh it, it's the Bama Duke. Oh

664
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: my god, God damn it. No one's ever gonna make

665
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: a movie about me. Okay, So you'll be reading today

666
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: for the part of tober Loshi. You gonna start on

667
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 1: page four. Whenever you're ready, please, right, did you have

668
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 1: any questions for us? I've got it. Whenever you're ready,

669
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,239
Speaker 1: take your own cue. Remember you sold your sold to me,

670
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 1: made me look good. I'm trying. Sorry, I'm sorry. So

671
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: I'm here for Timmy, but Timmy's not here. Let me

672
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: into his bedroom and I'll decide. What will you do

673
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: inside Timmy's bedroom? Torture? Torture? Why would we let you

674
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: in when you're telling us you want to torture our son? Uh?

675
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:45,959
Speaker 1: You're not very good parents? Right? You brought your child

676
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 1: to Crystal Egg, didn't you? Sure? Well? Wouldn't that be

677
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: bad enough? Can I stop you right there? Yeah? Okay, yeah,

678
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, like it. One little adjustment, tiny adjustment? Okay,

679
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 1: what's that voice you're affecting which turkey losh into my body.

680
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 1: And I'm just it's I don't know if it's a cheat,

681
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 1: but it's how I get into character. No, it's fine.

682
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 1: It just doesn't say in the script anything about a

683
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 1: strange voice. And oh, I'm sorry, can we try to

684
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,959
Speaker 1: get in your voice? I just up to me. It's

685
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 1: not up to me. I'm sorry. I'll give it a shot,

686
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 1: but it's really up to the torquy loshe. You do

687
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 1: a good job. Okay, go ahead, So don't do the voice. No, no,

688
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: I said, make me look good. I'm trying. Okay, here

689
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: we go. Ready, I'm ready. Okay, So, oh ship it

690
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 1: happened again, didn't it? Oh? Can I please come into

691
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: your child's bedroom for torture? It would mean the world

692
00:47:56,080 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 1: to me. Hey, brouh, you gotta call on the phone

693
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: from your agent. I think you booked something. There's no

694
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:13,960
Speaker 1: way in turn got something. Wow, you both job? What

695
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: did you write? I didn't write anything. I'm an accurity

696
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: know anything about your your pledges? No, we don't. Man,

697
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: I'm a thespian. We know that. I don't think you

698
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,359
Speaker 1: know what a thespian is. Yeah, it's college and it's

699
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 1: all good. Now it's a time to Davil, right, I

700
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,879
Speaker 1: guess so well, I'm gonna be playing. It's a it's

701
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 1: an independent film. Take the call there on the phone

702
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 1: right now. Oh my god, hello hello wa waw it

703
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: really is them? Hold on, I'm speaker. Okay, okay, here

704
00:48:54,600 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 1: it is Wah Derek. But he did an audition for

705
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: the role. Derek. Oh, Derek, you might have booked it.

706
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: I booked it the same to congrats, man, I did

707
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 1: all the work. I guess is as good as time

708
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 1: as they need to tell you that, uh, I'm not

709
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: really in this frat. I mean, I know that we've

710
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 1: been frat brothers for three years, but no, this I'm

711
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 1: an actor, I'm not I'm not a college what this

712
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 1: is a prank? Joey Greer put me up to a

713
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:35,479
Speaker 1: prank three years ago. Greer, that Frank such a piece

714
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 1: of ship. It really is. It was supposed to last

715
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:41,280
Speaker 1: for one day, but then three years. I just bonded

716
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,919
Speaker 1: with you guys. We saw with their clothes on, man,

717
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: for you know, I know, we shout it with the man.

718
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: Look what the funk? What the man? I saw a

719
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 1: brick with a heart on it. Was about love? What

720
00:49:56,120 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: is this? Holy sh it? Man? It turned shut up, Sirkirk,

721
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 1: you are wait second waiting? What do I know you from?

722
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 1: See you in something? Right? Really? Enough time for this man? Yeah?

723
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: You were in that thing with the guy that goes

724
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 1: real fast. Yeah, I don't know what you know me from?

725
00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 1: Like seventy one now boarding. Yeah, let's get a picture

726
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 1: with you real quick. No, who is this guy? Don't

727
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: know this? Yea thing. I gotta i gotta flight to Johannesburg.

728
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm shooting Russiashimi the movie. And that's our sure very night.

729
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,239
Speaker 1: I want to take the West Side Comedy Theater for

730
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 1: sharing their stage with us for this special podcast recording.

731
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: If you're in the Los Angele and area anytime soon,

732
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: you want to go to west Side Comedy dot com

733
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: to check their counter for a lot of great shows

734
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: of imprompt sketch and stand up. It's extraordinary location. Please

735
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 1: check it out asap. We also want to thank a

736
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: very special recording engineer, Doug Bay and our sound design

737
00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:25,560
Speaker 1: artists right fight Out, our producer Soviet Nurse. I heart media, huh.

738
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,160
Speaker 1: I encourage all of you to check out the podcast

739
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 1: righte and review. Tell everyone you've ever met. To check

740
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: it out and right to us for your scene. Suggesting

741
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 1: your name here, Welcome to this dot com. That's your

742
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 1: name here at Alchemy this dot com. I'm your host,

743
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: Kevin Paul. Until next time, all right,