1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, this is We're doing two

2
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,119
Speaker 1: episodes today because it's our two hundredth episode. It's two

3
00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,680
Speaker 1: hundredth episodes, so we decided to put out two episodes.

4
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:14,040
Speaker 1: One is with Tanks and one is with our guest today,

5
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,360
Speaker 1: who is a ridiculous person whom I love. I love

6
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,480
Speaker 1: him very much, he really really always I it's something

7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,840
Speaker 1: about him. I have to come up with the word

8
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 1: for him. I learned a great other I wearn't a

9
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,640
Speaker 1: great word. I warn't a great word the other day.

10
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 1: Magisterial somebody who walks with confidence, somebody who is like

11
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,800
Speaker 1: an authoritary figure, somebody who exudes confidence and authority. I

12
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,479
Speaker 1: like your real magisterial in a positive way, not in

13
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,280
Speaker 1: a negative way, like a dipsydoodle who's running the White House.

14
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 1: But that's not how I would describe Rob. That is

15
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,599
Speaker 1: it the word I was thinking of. I thought that

16
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,080
Speaker 1: was a good word to describe myself, actually, because I'm

17
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,320
Speaker 1: so full of my own piss and vinegar. But anyway,

18
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,720
Speaker 1: Rob is an actor, a producer, he's a podcaster and

19
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,520
Speaker 1: an author, and he tries to pretend he's an amazing skier.

20
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,440
Speaker 1: We'll see about that. To be determined, is what I

21
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,920
Speaker 1: like to say about that. We are doing a special

22
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,800
Speaker 1: double episode back to back with his podcast, so you

23
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,240
Speaker 1: can catch the first half of his episode of our

24
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,520
Speaker 1: episode is his podcast, and then the second half is ours.

25
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,520
Speaker 1: So please welcome Rob Low. I want to get him

26
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,160
Speaker 1: pre ejaculation. But can we do that before? Can we

27
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,679
Speaker 1: switch over before there's a Okay, Hi, Catherine, Hi, we

28
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:29,480
Speaker 1: just switched over from literally with Rob Low. I love this.

29
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:30,119
Speaker 1: How cute?

30
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:30,440
Speaker 2: Are we?

31
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:30,959
Speaker 1: Okay?

32
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:31,600
Speaker 2: So good?

33
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 1: We have Rob Loow today, everybody. We just came from

34
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,280
Speaker 1: his podcast. So for the first half of this episode,

35
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,160
Speaker 1: you're going to want to go listen to Rob Low's

36
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,200
Speaker 1: podcast literally literally, and then this is the second half

37
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 1: of the episode.

38
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 2: Rob.

39
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,440
Speaker 1: Were you about to say something about orgasmine?

40
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:51,120
Speaker 2: Yes, I was, Okay, I was about to say that

41
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:57,240
Speaker 2: I enjoy it and that it is just a spasm,

42
00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:03,480
Speaker 2: as Steely Dan says, and you must keep orgasming as

43
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 2: you continue to age.

44
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,040
Speaker 1: This is very profound, Rob, Thank you for sharing that insight.

45
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,560
Speaker 1: You must keep orgasm. Famous quote from Rob Low you

46
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,240
Speaker 1: must keep orgasming as you age end quote.

47
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,320
Speaker 2: Well, I think there are plenty of people who aren't. Yeah,

48
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,079
Speaker 2: I go yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I get it, Sid,

49
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:26,960
Speaker 2: that sounds like the most lame asked orgasm idea. But

50
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000
Speaker 2: then look around you.

51
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,359
Speaker 1: At all the people that aren't orgasming.

52
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, go to the skichale, get in the line for

53
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,639
Speaker 2: the chicken fingers in the hot coco.

54
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,040
Speaker 1: Look at all those people who haven't ejaculated in days, weeks,

55
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,800
Speaker 1: or months. In some instances, we're actually going to be.

56
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,040
Speaker 3: Talking to a caller today who might be in this situation.

57
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,720
Speaker 1: So, oh my god, perfect, How prescient for Rob to

58
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,840
Speaker 1: have brought this up. Rob, I have a question for

59
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,119
Speaker 1: you now that we're on my podcast. No, I think

60
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,000
Speaker 1: we talked about this last time you were on my podcast,

61
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,960
Speaker 1: But I always am very curious since you've been married

62
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,480
Speaker 1: for how long have been? How many years have you

63
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,000
Speaker 1: been married?

64
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,720
Speaker 2: Thirty four thirty four four years?

65
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:05,680
Speaker 1: So who do you think is more annoying you or

66
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:09,160
Speaker 1: Cheryl within the relationship? Like who annoys who the most?

67
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,600
Speaker 2: Oh? I annoy her? Yeah, I was gonna guess that

68
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:13,720
Speaker 2: one percent.

69
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,359
Speaker 1: And why why are you so annoying?

70
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:24,640
Speaker 2: Because I'm always doing bits and not trying to be funny,

71
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:30,000
Speaker 2: but I'm like I do asides really annoying watching she

72
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 2: hates watching television or movies with me hate.

73
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:33,680
Speaker 1: Did you talk?

74
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,000
Speaker 2: I talk all the time. If it's good, I don't.

75
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,680
Speaker 1: But did you guys watch White Lotus together?

76
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,160
Speaker 2: We did watch White Lotus together. But that's good. So

77
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,880
Speaker 2: when it's good, I don't talk. I talk when it's bad,

78
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,640
Speaker 2: and most things are bad, so I'll be like, you know,

79
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,800
Speaker 2: they clearly shut that that sequence in Vancouver. You can

80
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 2: tell me the telephone polls should be shut up.

81
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,320
Speaker 1: Or that's that's annoying, Rob, I mean, why who are

82
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,560
Speaker 1: you telling? You're just trying to prove to yourself how

83
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,760
Speaker 1: perspicacious you are in that instance.

84
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 2: You know, I'm trying to keep myself awake watching or you're.

85
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,840
Speaker 1: Just trying to show Like, yeah, those things you can

86
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,080
Speaker 1: keep to yourself for sure.

87
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,159
Speaker 2: Yeah. A lot of times I'll watch something and the

88
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,400
Speaker 2: performance will be so bad and I'll be biting my

89
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,680
Speaker 2: lip and biting my lip and biting my lip and

90
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,800
Speaker 2: biting me a lip if I'm like, oh my god,

91
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,640
Speaker 2: you get shut up. Yeah. She likes a lot of

92
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,960
Speaker 2: the sort of mommy porn rom coms where everybody's super

93
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,440
Speaker 2: good looking and terrible acting.

94
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,839
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I find I hate rom coms like

95
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:42,760
Speaker 1: unless there is some new spin, I can't stand that formula.

96
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:49,200
Speaker 1: It's so it's it's it's insulting to my intelligence. It's

97
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,480
Speaker 1: like reality shows. I find those insulting too, Like when

98
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,840
Speaker 1: people the housewives and they're looking blah blah blah and

99
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,279
Speaker 1: love Island, and I just and autism on the spectrum,

100
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:06,120
Speaker 1: love all of it. I just can't understand how anyone

101
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,719
Speaker 1: can get roped into that sort of chickanery.

102
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,520
Speaker 2: I keep so I did it kind of a reality

103
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,560
Speaker 2: show of my sons, but and I loved it, and

104
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,760
Speaker 2: I'm super proud of it. It's like us in a

105
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:23,960
Speaker 2: Scooby Doo van driving around looking for supernatural para normal

106
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,600
Speaker 2: activity together. It's basically Anthony Bourdaine Parts Unknown meets Scooby Doo.

107
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:33,480
Speaker 2: But really what it is is fathers and sons spending

108
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,480
Speaker 2: time with each other. And it's super silly and super

109
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,480
Speaker 2: funny and super great. So I feel like there's a

110
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,040
Speaker 2: zone where I can love it, but most of it

111
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,960
Speaker 2: is so bad. And then can we talk about the music,

112
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,239
Speaker 2: Like I was watching like Alec Baldwin's.

113
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,200
Speaker 1: I watched that too. I watched three episodes of that.

114
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,720
Speaker 2: I could it not It's like Alex so smart and

115
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,360
Speaker 2: has such great taste. I just wish he'd go in

116
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,240
Speaker 2: the editing and go why is that same music cue

117
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,440
Speaker 2: always used? It's this cutty pie.

118
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 1: He gave up, rob He's given up. If you can't

119
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:14,279
Speaker 1: tell by that show, Alec Baldwin has officially given up.

120
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,760
Speaker 1: He's given up his rights, he's given up his self respect,

121
00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:23,520
Speaker 1: he has given up. He has fifty seven children and

122
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,599
Speaker 1: a wife who is half the size of the baby.

123
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: I don't understand how he could have agreed. Well, obviously

124
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,040
Speaker 1: they need some money. I mean, I can't imagine. I

125
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 1: can't imagine what circumstances led to that being an option.

126
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,440
Speaker 2: People's your phone rings with weird I mean you must.

127
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,000
Speaker 2: I have been asked. Everybody gets asked, would you ever

128
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 2: do as such and such and such and such. It's like,

129
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,480
Speaker 2: I don't know.

130
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,560
Speaker 1: Do you turn down a lot of stuff?

131
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean yeah, I sure for sure. And what

132
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,599
Speaker 2: I try to do sometimes is go, well, I don't

133
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,200
Speaker 2: want to do that, but I would do this.

134
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:07,040
Speaker 1: I feel like no, But like within the same script,

135
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,720
Speaker 1: if they send you a script and offer you a role,

136
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,840
Speaker 1: are you talking about like I don't want to play this? Character,

137
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,200
Speaker 1: but I play that character or what that?

138
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,800
Speaker 2: And literally like just circling back to the people at

139
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 2: A and E came to me and said, would you

140
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,800
Speaker 2: ever you like to build houses? And you you've crushed

141
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,480
Speaker 2: it in real estate? Would you ever do a house

142
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,600
Speaker 2: flipping high end house? And I said no, but I

143
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 2: would do a show where I hunt for Bigfoot with

144
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,760
Speaker 2: my kids.

145
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,920
Speaker 1: And they're like, right, oh, let's get back to that

146
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,640
Speaker 1: supernatural reality show that you're referencing. Unfortunately I haven't seen

147
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,640
Speaker 1: any of those episodes. Were you guys able to come

148
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,760
Speaker 1: into some sort of or witness any sort of supernatural activity.

149
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,000
Speaker 2: It's called The Low Files. I think you can get

150
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,320
Speaker 2: it on like iTunes or something. We did. We saw

151
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,560
Speaker 2: we absolutely had ghost activity in our very first episode.

152
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:55,600
Speaker 2: The ghost was moving like furniture around really and like

153
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,239
Speaker 2: lights coming off and on when nobody was in the building.

154
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,360
Speaker 2: Really crazy show that. And then we went to like

155
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 2: we did supposed like alien bases in the desert and

156
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 2: a lot of time, of course nothing happened and it

157
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,240
Speaker 2: was just three idiots sitting around a fire. That was

158
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,320
Speaker 2: actually my favorite was like driving and pulling over and

159
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,280
Speaker 2: getting donuts and just being idiots. Was my favorite part

160
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,040
Speaker 2: of it. But we definitely saw some stuff one hundred percent.

161
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,360
Speaker 1: And are you a big like do you believe aliens exist?

162
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,560
Speaker 1: And things like that.

163
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,440
Speaker 2: I'm way down the rabbit hole with all that stuff. Okay,

164
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,800
Speaker 2: I am very well, there's probably not a wormhole you

165
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,320
Speaker 2: could bring up that I don't have some sort of

166
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,320
Speaker 2: functional knowledge of.

167
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,680
Speaker 1: And do you think that is a result of you

168
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 1: spending so much time in Monacito.

169
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:51,199
Speaker 2: No, I've always been that way. And in fact, the

170
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,720
Speaker 2: slogan for the show is my motto about this stuff.

171
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:57,000
Speaker 2: When people literally ask me, really, do you really believe

172
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,559
Speaker 2: in Bigfoot, I'd be like, it's more.

173
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,400
Speaker 1: Fundable, It is more fun to believe. It's more fun

174
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,600
Speaker 1: to believe in God. Like it's better to believe in

175
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 1: God because it's just nicer. It's like a nicer idea.

176
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,240
Speaker 2: That's how I actually is how I came to my

177
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,160
Speaker 2: relationship with God. That's how it started.

178
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:15,920
Speaker 1: Well, the real question is when did God's relationship start

179
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:16,160
Speaker 1: with you?

180
00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,520
Speaker 2: Well, it's been there forever, but I just didn't know

181
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:19,280
Speaker 2: it right.

182
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,719
Speaker 1: You had to tap into it. Yeah, it's funny. I

183
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,280
Speaker 1: was on stage on Friday night in Vegas. I have

184
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,680
Speaker 1: a residency in Vegas. I performed once a month because

185
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,160
Speaker 1: that's how much time I could spend in Vegas. And

186
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,920
Speaker 1: I did a joke about Jesus. This new joke I

187
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,360
Speaker 1: was trying out about Jesus and accepting the fact that

188
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,959
Speaker 1: the joy that you experienced from knowing Jesus is a

189
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,360
Speaker 1: joy I'll never know. And then when I got food

190
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,680
Speaker 1: poisoning the next night and I was violently throwing up

191
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,480
Speaker 1: into my wastebasket next to my bed, I thought, is

192
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,600
Speaker 1: this because what I said about Jesus?

193
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:50,280
Speaker 2: Hmmm?

194
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,600
Speaker 1: And I thought, please, God, I'm sorry. If you need

195
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,360
Speaker 1: me to believe in Jesus, give me a sign. And

196
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,520
Speaker 1: then I threw up again, and I thought, that's a sign.

197
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,960
Speaker 1: And now I believe in Jesus.

198
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,120
Speaker 2: It takes what it takes. I mean, it's like, don't

199
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,200
Speaker 2: question it. Like everybody, everybody gets here in a different route.

200
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,360
Speaker 1: I love that because a lot of times, I mean,

201
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,520
Speaker 1: you've been sober for many, many years, but a lot

202
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,439
Speaker 1: of times people like associate sobriety with God with Jesus.

203
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,000
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of people like I have a

204
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,880
Speaker 1: couple sober friends who are like, no, we didn't work

205
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,400
Speaker 1: the program. We did another way, like they're non believers.

206
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,240
Speaker 1: They don't believe in God and they don't believe in Jesus.

207
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,520
Speaker 1: But because the twelve steps really are about God and

208
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,760
Speaker 1: a higher.

209
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:30,880
Speaker 2: Being, it's about higher powers, not about God. In the literature,

210
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 2: there's a lot of talk about God one percent, but

211
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:39,480
Speaker 2: it's it's very entrenched and modern even traditional sobriety that

212
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:45,440
Speaker 2: you do not have to believe in God, merely something

213
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:50,760
Speaker 2: greater than yourself, right, and that's reasonable, and that's super reasonable.

214
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,079
Speaker 2: I mean I roll my eyes when it's like the

215
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:57,120
Speaker 2: problem is some people make other people their higher power, well,

216
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 2: my family, and that's that's a road to Pollukville. You

217
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,199
Speaker 2: can't make another person or group of people your higher power.

218
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,480
Speaker 2: You cannot because they're people. And okay, if you're not

219
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,959
Speaker 2: to believe in God or Jesus or or any of

220
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,439
Speaker 2: the other great you know, spiritual guides that we have

221
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,600
Speaker 2: culturally in different religions, the list becomes kind of small,

222
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,560
Speaker 2: is it. I believe in animals, I believe in fern Gully.

223
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,839
Speaker 1: Well, you believe in Bigfoot? You said that, all right?

224
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,679
Speaker 2: Do you believe in Bigfoot? Wouldn't make it my I

225
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,400
Speaker 2: would not make bigfoot my higher power.

226
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,800
Speaker 1: Okay, well I just did so there's nothing you can

227
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,360
Speaker 1: do about it.

228
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,760
Speaker 2: Okay, that is kind of cool though. That'd be a

229
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,040
Speaker 2: great bit. That'd be a great bit.

230
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,760
Speaker 1: What are you believing in? Bigfoot is your higher power?

231
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm rob Loow. I'm an alcoholic. I asked Bigfoot

232
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,760
Speaker 2: for peace and serenity today.

233
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,160
Speaker 1: Do you still do you go to AA meetings? Do

234
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,080
Speaker 1: you still work the program that way? Are you so

235
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,960
Speaker 1: far outside of eve been sober for thirty four years?

236
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:52,720
Speaker 1: You said earlier?

237
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, and look, the one thing in common are people

238
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,280
Speaker 2: who like I was thirty four years sober and I

239
00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 2: got loaded yesterday. The one thing they all have in common,

240
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,160
Speaker 2: and you hear those stories is they stopped. They stopped

241
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,240
Speaker 2: their active recovery. And I don't do as much of

242
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,040
Speaker 2: it as I should.

243
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:08,640
Speaker 1: Well, you probably don't have to.

244
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand how it'll live my life. I mean,

245
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,400
Speaker 2: if I'm I know this, If I ever get in

246
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:17,000
Speaker 2: enough uncomfortability in my own skin, I know, I know

247
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,240
Speaker 2: what the cure is. It's not advil, it's going to

248
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,480
Speaker 2: a meeting. One mm hmm.

249
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,960
Speaker 1: What do you think Cheryl thinks is the most annoying

250
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:25,600
Speaker 1: thing about you?

251
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,439
Speaker 2: Wow, it used to be how much I slept. She's

252
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,320
Speaker 2: gotten really good because science is caught up with me.

253
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,600
Speaker 1: Oh. Because how long do you sleep every night?

254
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,160
Speaker 2: Oh? I mean I get a minimum of nine Oh.

255
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,040
Speaker 1: I'm with you completely. I could sleep for eleven hours

256
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,600
Speaker 1: a night if you me too.

257
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,320
Speaker 2: I don't see. I have a lot of shame around it.

258
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to say it. But why.

259
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,079
Speaker 1: I mean, most men actually do sleep less than women's sleep.

260
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,800
Speaker 1: But I just there. I can't express enough the benefits

261
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:56,880
Speaker 1: of sleeping same.

262
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,280
Speaker 2: I mean, like when people go, how do you look?

263
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,560
Speaker 2: I mean maybe a lot of it is that I

264
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:01,120
Speaker 2: sleep a lot.

265
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,559
Speaker 1: It definitely does, because there's no explanation for the way

266
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 1: you look.

267
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,520
Speaker 2: They did call it sleeping beauty, not workout beauty.

268
00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 1: Well, you could sleep and then work out. I know

269
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,640
Speaker 1: you're working out once you wake up.

270
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,960
Speaker 2: They didn't say it in No Carbs beauty. It's fucking

271
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,240
Speaker 2: sleeping beauty. That's the name of the movie.

272
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,440
Speaker 1: What's the longest sleep run you've ever had?

273
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:22,480
Speaker 2: Well, not being sick or sleeping something off like just

274
00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,320
Speaker 2: regular or no jet lag involved.

275
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,600
Speaker 1: Or not well, yeah, sure, whatever.

276
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,520
Speaker 2: I mean lost, I've definitely done my share of twelve

277
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:31,199
Speaker 2: for sure.

278
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,719
Speaker 1: I went slept for twenty hours. Was it on a plane, No,

279
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,160
Speaker 1: it was in a bunk bed. What I had a

280
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,280
Speaker 1: bunk bed at my old house, and I guess I

281
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 1: hadn't slept for like a day or so. I had

282
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,000
Speaker 1: come back from Buenos Aires.

283
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 2: Jet leg jet like jet like jetwag.

284
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was jet lag. But when I really needed

285
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,440
Speaker 1: deep sleep, I go into my bunk bedroom because there's

286
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,640
Speaker 1: just something so cozy and familial and like childlike in there.

287
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,760
Speaker 1: And I slept for twenty hours and then I peed

288
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,000
Speaker 1: for almost twenty minute.

289
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,520
Speaker 2: Un fucking but that sounds like kind of heavy. I

290
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:08,520
Speaker 2: when I do the big international flights like Australia or something,

291
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,839
Speaker 2: or South Africa, the ones that are just beasts, I

292
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,720
Speaker 2: love it because I can go. I could sleep runway

293
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,320
Speaker 2: to runway if I had to, one hundreds.

294
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,679
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. Are you allowed to

295
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,400
Speaker 1: take Xanax and stuff like that, sleeping pills if you're sober.

296
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:24,760
Speaker 2: There's different theories on it. I certainly wouldn't recommend it

297
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,400
Speaker 2: or it, nor did I do it for the first

298
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:32,800
Speaker 2: maybe even decade of being sober, but you know I was,

299
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,560
Speaker 2: and if I were a pill person, which I wasn't.

300
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:40,440
Speaker 2: I wouldn't, but I have no problem with me doing

301
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,040
Speaker 2: that now.

302
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's kind of necessary when you're traveling.

303
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,680
Speaker 1: I mean, how else are you supposed to adjust to

304
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,760
Speaker 1: these different time zones?

305
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, there's a lot of good science out there

306
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,920
Speaker 2: that they didn't have when I listen, when I got sober,

307
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,560
Speaker 2: they had fucking horse pills like a valium and that

308
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:55,920
Speaker 2: was it.

309
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 1: They didn't. I took one of those ones at Jane

310
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 1: Fonda's house, and I was never the same. I couldn't

311
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 1: move my legs for like two days. What do you

312
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,359
Speaker 1: think is your superpower?

313
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 4: Rob?

314
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,360
Speaker 1: Like, what do you think is your best the best

315
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,040
Speaker 1: thing about you?

316
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 2: My superpower is my optimism. That's nice for sure, and

317
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 2: it manifests itself. I think in a lot of ways

318
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 2: where it's like if something doesn't go my way, or

319
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: which happens to everybody, or there's a disappointment, I just

320
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 2: don't ever wallow in it, and I never blame others ever. Ever,

321
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,960
Speaker 2: I don't blame myself either, But I'm like, okay, all right,

322
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,120
Speaker 2: today's another day. Get up. And it's not something I

323
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,400
Speaker 2: learned anywhere. I just think it's part of my it's

324
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,960
Speaker 2: in my DNA. I've always been that way, and I

325
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 2: think it's I'm very grateful that I'm wired that way.

326
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,760
Speaker 2: I don't hold on to resentments, which, by the way,

327
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,400
Speaker 2: weirdly enough, is the single worst thing you can have

328
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 2: as a sober person is resentments. So I think I

329
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 2: was designed not only to be an alcoholic, but then

330
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 2: to get sober and succeed because as I don't carry

331
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,080
Speaker 2: resentments and I'm positive, optimistic.

332
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 1: What do you think that what was? Can you give

333
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 1: us an example of a big disappointment that you've experienced,

334
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,160
Speaker 1: like your latest big disappointment where you were able to

335
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 1: shrug it off.

336
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 2: Sure, so career wise without being two inside baseball. So

337
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,720
Speaker 2: I've I've been in television since nineteen ninety nine doing

338
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 2: TV series, had hits, had failures. I'd never been able

339
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 2: to renegotiate for a raise ever twenty years in more

340
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,960
Speaker 2: in television, never.

341
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,280
Speaker 1: Been a raise from each from one series to the next.

342
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:37,080
Speaker 2: No within the series of a hit, like yes, the

343
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,640
Speaker 2: congratulations it's a hit, we will be canceling your character,

344
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,600
Speaker 2: or congratulations, it's a hit. And so just when I

345
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 2: thought I'd had every permutation of financial humiliation, at the

346
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,520
Speaker 2: hands of the TV industry. I get this show nine

347
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,160
Speaker 2: to one to one, lone star Ryan Murphy producing, with

348
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 2: the great Tim Minear writing big hit, big, big, big,

349
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 2: big hit. Turns out it's such a big hit that

350
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 2: they just aren't going to make it anymore. Just turns

351
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,560
Speaker 2: out they're just not going to make it because the

352
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:15,840
Speaker 2: studio and the network couldn't agree on what to do

353
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 2: with the big hit, so they just canceled it. And

354
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 2: anyone else would be like, are you fucking kidding me?

355
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,360
Speaker 2: It's hard enough to make a show successful, and here

356
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 2: we have one successful and now that the War of

357
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,800
Speaker 2: the bean Counters is going to say, we'd rather have

358
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:46,239
Speaker 2: nothing of something then continue. So the way I look

359
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 2: at it is I go, you know what that is.

360
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,440
Speaker 2: It's a fact of the business today. It is. It's

361
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 2: not personal. And believe me, I'm sure that they would

362
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 2: like to continue to do it just as much as

363
00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:01,840
Speaker 2: I would. But these are the circumstances. Anyone's fault is

364
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 2: it galling beyond belief. But you move on. And I

365
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,440
Speaker 2: think we everybody can relate to that in whatever business

366
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,080
Speaker 2: they're in, that sometimes success is not rewarded in the

367
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 2: way that you would want it to be.

368
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be a pretty big bummer. Are you

369
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 1: one of those people who believes everything happens for a reason? Yes,

370
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: I find that a little bit far fetched.

371
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 2: But I can trace. I can trace.

372
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 5: No.

373
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 2: Granted, I don't want to test this theory anymore than

374
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,400
Speaker 2: I already have. I don't want to. I don't need

375
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,520
Speaker 2: any more roadblocks or bad things to happen. But I

376
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,640
Speaker 2: can trace things that were traumatic or that I wouldn't

377
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 2: like to redo. I can make a direct line from

378
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: them to things that happened only because those things happened.

379
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just have a hard time. I hear you,

380
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 1: and I feel the same way with many instances in

381
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 1: my life. But I just feel like it's very hard

382
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 1: to believe that everything happens for a reason for every

383
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 1: single person in the world. Like, you can't be servicing

384
00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:00,080
Speaker 1: the energy or God or the universe or whatever we're

385
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 1: referring to. Can't be servicing the benefit of every human

386
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 1: being in every equation. You know, sometimes things are happening

387
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,640
Speaker 1: for someone else's benefit and you're just kind of aside,

388
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: like a supporting character.

389
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 2: I believe, Yeah, but I think that that chromically, you

390
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,159
Speaker 2: know that that person who's on the underneath of that

391
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 2: equation needs to be underneath that equation at that moment

392
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 2: because it's leading to the moment where they are going

393
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 2: to be on the top of the equation, and you

394
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 2: can't you literally can't get there unless you're at the

395
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 2: bottom at the bottom. Why I believe that, I believe

396
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 2: that one under my being one hundred percent. Now, there

397
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 2: are tragedies that befall people that I can't even imagine,

398
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 2: and I can't that I might be whistling a different

399
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 2: tune with that, But that said, my experience so far

400
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 2: has been that there's a reason.

401
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. And if you're listening

402
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 1: to this podcast, for the first half of the podcast,

403
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 1: you have to go to Rob's podcast which.

404
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 2: Is called Literally.

405
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 1: Just called Literally for the first half of our conversation

406
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,560
Speaker 1: because we've covered a lot of topics. But one thing

407
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 1: before we take any callers, Rob, is I want to

408
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,439
Speaker 1: ask you what is your favorite thing about Cheryl, your wife?

409
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,879
Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's a lot. I mean, there's two things.

410
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 2: There have to be two, because one is I never

411
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 2: thought I could be in a relationship as long as

412
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,400
Speaker 2: I'd been and still be as sexually attracted to somebody,

413
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 2: I thought, oh fuck Jesus Christ and I am. And

414
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:45,919
Speaker 2: really I just didn't think that would be in the cards.

415
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 2: I really didn't.

416
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: And you didn't think that when you were younger.

417
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 2: I just didn't think it was possible, frankly for anybody,

418
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 2: much less me.

419
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 1: And when did you think that when you got married?

420
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: When you were married in the beginning of your marriage, like,

421
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: when did you think that that was true?

422
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 2: I thought it was probably going to be true when

423
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:05,919
Speaker 2: I was I you know, I think I was probably

424
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 2: sitting there saying, I do going I'm not going to

425
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 2: be wanting to have sex with this woman in a decade.

426
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 2: I'm for sure not going to and lo and behold,

427
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 2: I have and will.

428
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: And it's nice. That's really nice to hear.

429
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:21,679
Speaker 2: Super nice to that.

430
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 1: I wonder if she's still attracted to you, because it

431
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: must be really annoying to be married to you, you

432
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: know what I mean, with your face and your body

433
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: and your good looks, it don't change. It's just like ugh,

434
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 1: and to have to hear people talk about how good

435
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: looking you are all the time, like that would be

436
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 1: so annoying.

437
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 2: She has a set She's like, oh, please, you haven't

438
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 2: had to wake up next to it exactly because nobody

439
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 2: nobody's at their fighting weight when they wake up in

440
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 2: the morning. The other thing is I love her work,

441
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 2: ethic and spirit, like her dynamicism around every time.

442
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: I haven't heard that word in dynamicism.

443
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,160
Speaker 2: I probably butchered it.

444
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: Dynasism, namism, maybe being dynamic, dynamism.

445
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 2: Dynam Yeah, dyna dynamism.

446
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 1: Thanks Catherine, thank you here for dynamism. Dynamic.

447
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 2: That thing, whatever, that thing I just said was is

448
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 2: what I what I really like, and it was. It's

449
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 2: one of the first things that attracted me to her.

450
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 2: You know, she had had her own house, had her

451
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 2: own job, had her own career, had her own life,

452
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 2: had her own network from the day I met her,

453
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: and I found that to be really attractive.

454
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is attractive. Okay. On that note, we're going

455
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: to take a break and we'll be right back with

456
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 1: Rob Low.

457
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, write into us at

458
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to

459
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 3: hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on,

460
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: but this week we're specifically looking for questions about family issues.

461
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 3: If you have an issue with a family member, or

462
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,880
Speaker 3: you need advice about a specific relationship issue. Please write

463
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 3: in at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

464
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: And we're back with Rob Low to answer some callers questions.

465
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 1: There's no better person at giving advice than Rob Low.

466
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,639
Speaker 1: He's been through it all. Look at him. You can

467
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: see just by looking at him, everything he's been through.

468
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 2: That's true.

469
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: Catherine.

470
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, our first question, this one's just an email.

471
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 3: She's not joining us, but it comes from Rebecca and

472
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 3: she says, am I crazy to forgive adultery? Dear Chelsea?

473
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: My husband cheated on year ten of our marriage. We're

474
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 3: beginning year twenty five in twenty twenty five, so it's

475
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 3: been a little bit.

476
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had a.

477
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 3: Few relationships that year and then confessed all when I

478
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 3: was pregnant with child number two. He wanted a clean

479
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 3: slate for his new kiddo. It was a very painful

480
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 3: chapter for us both, but obviously for me the most.

481
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 3: It took about six years, but I've been able to

482
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 3: move forward six years.

483
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 5: Fuck.

484
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 3: He is now someone I trust deeply. He earned forgiveness

485
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 3: the hard way. But people think I'm nuts. Am I

486
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,959
Speaker 3: crazy to even attempt forgiveness.

487
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 2: Rebecca, I have very strong feelings on this.

488
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead, rob Okay.

489
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: So I'm working on a new book. It's hard to

490
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,479
Speaker 2: do these podcasts and be working on something so personal

491
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 2: and not talk about it. They don't want me to

492
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 2: talk about because I han't been announced, but fuck it.

493
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 2: I'm working on a new book and one of the

494
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 2: things I'm talking about is forgiveness and its importance. And

495
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:29,479
Speaker 2: in our culture, forgiveness has been superseded by boundaries, and

496
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 2: I don't think it's serving our society well.

497
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: Expound on that coast.

498
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: So I think because historically a lot of people have

499
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:46,639
Speaker 2: felt unseen and unheard, justifiably, that we needed to create

500
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 2: a world where there could be the proper boundaries through

501
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: which we could all see, speak, talk to each other,

502
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 2: relate to each other. Got it, stipulated, as the lawyers

503
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 2: would say in court. Got it. But it's since grown

504
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 2: into a cottage industry of these rigid worldviews that don't

505
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 2: take into account forgiveness and others. If you step out

506
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 2: of the boundary, you're done. We're done. There's no coming back.

507
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 2: And it's funny. In the end of this email, she

508
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,159
Speaker 2: brought up the very very the aha I told you

509
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 2: so a moment for me, which is I've forgiven and

510
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 2: I trust this man and it's a newsley, but people

511
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 2: think I'm crazy. My issue is with the people thing.

512
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 2: They're not in this person's shoes, right, they don't understand

513
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 2: the nature of forgiveness. They're in the boundary mob. H okay, pitchfork,

514
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 2: pitchfork unforgive mob. That would what lead to extrapolating it

515
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 2: to the nth degree. What I'm reading between the lines

516
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 2: is she gives this guy the boot. They go their

517
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,439
Speaker 2: separate ways. The kid has no nuclear family together, and

518
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 2: for what that's the hell they're going to die on.

519
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: I think that. I mean, I like what you're saying.

520
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if I agree with it, but I

521
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 1: also I don't disagree with it. I think that if

522
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: you were able, I definitely don't think any other people's

523
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: opinions are a matter. Like I understand how it is

524
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 1: you tell people of things and then you know they

525
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: kind of seep into your subconscious or conscious because you

526
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 1: share and you need advice. But if you spent six

527
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: years of your life getting over that, and you're still

528
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: with that guy, and you had another child and he

529
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: wanted to come clean while you were pregnant. I mean,

530
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: the timing is weird, but okay, then that's you, Like

531
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: you've gotten through it. You trust him implicitly, you just

532
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 1: said that you're with the marriage, like you're in it

533
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: and you love him and you got through a rough patch,

534
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: Like kudos to you. Definitely just up worrying about what

535
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 1: anybody else thinks. Like you've made your decision. You're in it.

536
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 1: And I do think a lot of people learn from cheating.

537
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 1: They learn that they make a mistake and they never

538
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: are going to do that again. Some people are habitual cheaters,

539
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: but usually like they don't come forward when they're not.

540
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: You know, like if you're a habitual cheater, you're not

541
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: gonna volunteer that information.

542
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 2: And the other thing is you got to think about

543
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 2: the kid too. I keep coming back to that too,

544
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 2: because like I'm a child of divorce.

545
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: God, Rob, you're drinking so much water.

546
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: I mean, do you think it's a lot of water

547
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 2: you're making.

548
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to drown if you have another simple water.

549
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 2: You're talking so much, Chelsea, it's these little tiny you

550
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: crazy woman that it's just and I'm not I'm not

551
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 2: in any way, advocating to to as they would, as

552
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: the kids would say today, to model a relationship that

553
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 2: is unhealthy or unhappy. But if it's a fucking jump

554
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,640
Speaker 2: ball stay together better for the kid?

555
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hate that idea that it's better

556
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,879
Speaker 1: for the kid. It's who do I mean? Is it

557
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: better for the kid to stay with someone that you

558
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: don't trust?

559
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 2: It's it just unhealthy. And if it's jump ball, I

560
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 2: don't know what that means. If it could go either way.

561
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 2: It's a sports it's a basketball reference.

562
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 1: Right, But that should be your motivation, should be how

563
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: you feel, not for the sake of the children. We

564
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 1: all know that for the sake of the children is bullshit.

565
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: If it's if you're unhappy, your children are not going

566
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: to be as happy period. If you don't trust your husband,

567
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: your children are going to know and pick up on that.

568
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: It's a nice idea, but I think a lot of

569
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: people stay in marriages that they don't need to be

570
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 1: in because of they think their children are going to

571
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: fall apart.

572
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 2: That I agree with that one that I agree with

573
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: one billion trillion percent.

574
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: I definitely think people are forgivable, like when they cheat,

575
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: and I mean he said he had multiple affairs that year,

576
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 1: So like, that sucks on multiple levels. But you know,

577
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: maybe he was just going through something and maybe he's

578
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: past it, and apparently he is. So Yeah, you don't

579
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: even need our advice. You've made your decision and the

580
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: only advice I would give you is to stop looking

581
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: out outside of your relationationship for validation from your friends

582
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: and family.

583
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: It's not their problem and the other it is not

584
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 2: their problem. And how do I put this hard? It's

585
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 2: a hard concept for me and articulate, but we can't

586
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: help but sometimes project our own stuff onto other people

587
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: and our own once needs. Envy is a big thing you.

588
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: I think people would be surprised with the amount of

589
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: envy around people who can navigate the ups and downs

590
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 2: of a relationship because the other person isn't capable of it.

591
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 2: There are people who are like, the minute the going

592
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 2: gets tough, I'm fucking out. I am tail lights, And

593
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: then they look at somebody who's like, when the minute

594
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 2: the going gets tough, I figure out forgiveness. And that

595
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: is a worldview that can be really jarring to people.

596
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's our advice on that subject, Catherine. What

597
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: do we have next well caller. Yes, okay, this is

598
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: a caller. Her name's Laura. She is forty four. Dear Chelsea.

599
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 3: Here's my situation. I manage a team of men in

600
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 3: a male dominant field, so I love men, but I'm

601
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 3: pretty immune to their charms. I was working closely with

602
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,959
Speaker 3: a new hire with impressive skills, motivation, and attitude when

603
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 3: I had this strange realization that actually I love him,

604
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 3: although it's not in a sexy way. We're both happily married,

605
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: but I can't wait to see him, hang on his

606
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 3: funny words, and generally enjoy his company. This realization put

607
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 3: a pep in my step, and I've had all the

608
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 3: benefits of an affair, a good mood, more attention to

609
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 3: my looks, and I've lost some weight. It's even improved

610
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 3: my marriage. But this coworker's presence haunts my mind. And

611
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 3: while the attraction is not physical, it's his silly, funny

612
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 3: nature and depth. The feeling is like a childhood friend.

613
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,959
Speaker 3: I made a conscious decision that I would not resist

614
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 3: my feelings so that I wouldn't psychologically turn it into

615
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: something forbidden. I go back and forth thinking it over.

616
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: I want to love and openly appreciate this person, openly

617
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 3: appreciate people who inspire that. But do I have enough

618
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: emotional distance to objectively manage him. He's a direct report,

619
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 3: and having favorites on a team is toxic even to

620
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 3: the favorite. But he's a high performer, so it's possible

621
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 3: we could use this chemistry for good. The most I

622
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 3: would ever want is a hug and assurancy he's having

623
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,959
Speaker 3: the same experience. Maybe a promise to be innocent friends forever?

624
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 3: Can you help me with any guide rails that can

625
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 3: help me think straight and keep things in perspective? Am

626
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 3: I fooling myself? And is this actually adulteress?

627
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 1: Laura?

628
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 2: Hi?

629
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: Laura, this is our special guest Rob Low today.

630
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 2: Hi. How are you good?

631
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: She's great obviously if you yep, she's thriving. I don't

632
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: think anything's wrong with what's happening, Rob, What do you think?

633
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: Yes? If I have to immediately come down on the

634
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 2: side of it, I think it's all good. I mean,

635
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,239
Speaker 2: tell me this, what does here? It is? I got it?

636
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 2: I got it. I got to have my answer. Here's

637
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: my answer. Your husband, right, you're married? What is your

638
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: husband's level of knowledge about this relationship? U? Zero?

639
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: For sure, which is perfect. I agree, yeah, yeah, why does.

640
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: He need to know?

641
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: Listen, it's like meeting act like this guy is a

642
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 1: gay man, this is your gay bestie. We have these

643
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: ideas that just because someone is of the opposite sex,

644
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 1: we're up to something. There is a total world. I mean, Rob,

645
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: I feel this way about you, Like if we got

646
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: to spend more time together, you and I would be besties.

647
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: We would be having sex, we would be besties. Like

648
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 1: I don't feel like just because someone we have these

649
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: sexual ideology about that every man or woman of the

650
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: opposite sex, if you're straight, is like a possible threat.

651
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: It's like you can actually be great friends with someone

652
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: and like their attention. It's like if you had a

653
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 1: girlfriend that was like this at work. What if this

654
00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: was a woman and you were excited to see her

655
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: every day and you were dressing up for her, which

656
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: is totally normal for women to do for each other.

657
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: There was no sexual energy there and you were just

658
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 1: excited to see her and hang out with her every day,

659
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: Like forget about the work stuff. Who cares If he's

660
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: like your favorite. Everybody's got a fucking favorite, as long

661
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: as you don't just advertise it, but like it's totally innocent.

662
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: Your husband doesn't need to know anything about it. Enjoy

663
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: your friendship, and if it ever gets to a place

664
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: where he makes a move or you feel like there's

665
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: some sexual tension, you just have to really nip it

666
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: in the butt and go listen, we have such a

667
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: great thing going. Let's just keep it this way, keep

668
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:38,280
Speaker 1: it innocent, respect our relationships outside relationships, and continue with

669
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: our friendship. Because this is a great thing that I

670
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: do not want to ruin.

671
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I agree with I agree with all that. I'm

672
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 2: going to add one more thing to inoculate yourself even

673
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 2: further from self doubt. Figure out a way to make

674
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: it not just a siloed off secret from your husband.

675
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: I'm not in any way advocating it makes me feel

676
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 2: like a million golla. You don't need to go there.

677
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 2: Let's let's not be crazy. But is it like the

678
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 2: fourth of July barbecue and here's so and so and

679
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,760
Speaker 2: he's oh he's my favorite, or guy's the fucking sick

680
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: you'd love him? Is this that? And yet and see?

681
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: That would be the only thing that I might add

682
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 2: to innoculate you from somebody going, oh, you're having an

683
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: emotional affair.

684
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 4: That's exactly what I'm worried about. Is that exact thinking that, like,

685
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 4: we'll tell.

686
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 2: You what, you're not having an emotional affair if if

687
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 2: your husband knows he exists and some level of I

688
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: think he's cool, I think he's whatever. If it's completely

689
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 2: siloed off, you're you're never gonna get beyond that doubt.

690
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 4: Yeah. I was kind of hoping there was like an

691
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 4: opportunity that came up where they could meet. Yes, And

692
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 4: but I was so dangerous because I was like, oh,

693
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 4: he's gonna be able to tell my husband, right, he'll

694
00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 4: he'll see it in me and anyway.

695
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: I'm I'm.

696
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 2: Listen. But here's the thing that well, the ninety is

697
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 2: that like either we agree with Chelsea's thesis, which I do,

698
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: or we don't. And if the thing is you should

699
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: be able to be best friends with someone regardless of who,

700
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 2: what where they are, right, male, female, whatever, how are

701
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 2: you identify whatever? Right, there's there's nothing wrong. There's no

702
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that. What's wrong potentially is the hiding

703
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 2: of it. Although I totally understand why one would do it.

704
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I like that a lot.

705
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 4: I do because I'm kind of like, yeah, I mean,

706
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 4: nothing's happening. We're just good friends and buddies.

707
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 2: This guy makes me laugh the hardest at work. Work

708
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 2: would be a nightmare. He's he's fucking great. You'll love him.

709
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: Boom done done.

710
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: And you can also say to your husband, just to

711
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: like inoculate the situation further. You can also there Rob

712
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: goes with the water again. You can also say, hey, like,

713
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,440
Speaker 1: it's like having a gay best friend. I know he's

714
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: that gay, but that's how it feels like.

715
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,200
Speaker 2: We don't know he might be gay. Wait, we don't

716
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 2: know that yet. I didn't get that piece.

717
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:13,760
Speaker 1: He's married with children, so definitely gay. Definitely gay.

718
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 3: Well, like you said, childhood best friend, you know, I mean,

719
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,959
Speaker 3: you are beaming right now, like, let this just be fun.

720
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 1: Okay, are you sure you're not attracted to him?

721
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 5: Well?

722
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 4: No, And the funny thing is, like I've been to

723
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,720
Speaker 4: try to help myself.

724
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 6: I've been journaling.

725
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 3: Well, make sure you're locking up your journal too, because

726
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 3: we've had some journal snoops on the show recently.

727
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 4: So I'm like journaling like crazy, and I go in

728
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 4: these weird circles where I'm like, he's not even really

729
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 4: my type, and then like, but actually my husband he's

730
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 4: really good looking, Like he's is my type and he's tall,

731
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 4: dark and handsome, and it kind of like makes me

732
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 4: go back to my husband. All my circles keep going back.

733
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 4: But it's just that weird thing where it's like a

734
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 4: feeling of infatuation, but just like can we swear an oath,

735
00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 4: not like can we get sex yet?

736
00:36:59,520 --> 00:36:59,919
Speaker 2: So weird.

737
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: You could just swear a note to yourself in your

738
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 1: journal that you're not going to let that happen and

739
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: not let it go farther than it is, you know,

740
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: and if it ever comes up with him, do the

741
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: same with him. But yeah, like it's not you're only

742
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: thinking of this because he's a straight man and you're

743
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 1: a straight woman. That's the only reason you're like going, oh,

744
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,400
Speaker 1: what's going on here? Like, it's totally normal to have

745
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: friendships with men that you're not going to have sex

746
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: with and be excited to see them.

747
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 2: And that that somehow, who knows in our weirds, how

748
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: our psychologies work, that somehow that actually sparks something additional

749
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 2: in our partner makes perfect sense.

750
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you just said your relationship with your husband's

751
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: improving anyway because of him, I mean another kudo. So

752
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 1: that's great.

753
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 6: Well, thank you, guys.

754
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 4: I'm so glad because I've just been, you know, turning

755
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 4: myself in circles, and that's a new perspective I haven't

756
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 4: even thought of.

757
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 1: Aweso great, And have fun in the Bahamas this weekend

758
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: with your coworker. Just kidding, just kidding. Thanks, thank you,

759
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: thanks for calling in you guys.

760
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, before we get to our next caller, Rob,

761
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 3: I do want to ask you one question. When Chelsea

762
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 3: says the word Pikachu, do you know what she's referencing?

763
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so I say Pikachu. No what we're about

764
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: to do a couple of times. Okay, collar, great question.

765
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 2: Oh maybe, oh oh maybe, I don't I know.

766
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 1: I think you I don't understand it in the context

767
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,839
Speaker 1: that's used to it. Then you will.

768
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 2: Okay. I'm by the way, my mind because it's filthy,

769
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 2: dirty and sexy, hopes that Pikachu is a it is.

770
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:34,799
Speaker 1: What you think it is.

771
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you'll see.

772
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 3: Well, Coller Kristen says, Dear Chelsea, I can't believe I'm

773
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,799
Speaker 3: writing this email, but I have nowhere left to turn.

774
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 3: My sweet boyfriend of two years has never touched my Pikachu.

775
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: Yes, you heard that right.

776
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 3: We've had sex and we've done other stuff, but my

777
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 3: boyfriend has never touched my Pikachu, not once. He's a

778
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 3: precious angel, but he's a little too precious. He lost

779
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 3: his virginity at twenty seven, and I'm only his second partner.

780
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,240
Speaker 3: I'm a bit more adventurous with him being the eleventh,

781
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: and I've never until now needed to tell a man

782
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 3: to touch my Pikachu before the big event. They've all

783
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 3: just known, probably since middle school. I've tried to bring

784
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 3: it up a couple of times, but I don't want

785
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 3: to hurt his feelings. When I've managed to bring it

786
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 3: up poorly, I'll admit my boyfriend did immediately take action. Unfortunately,

787
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 3: the action was basically to start giving me an over

788
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 3: the pants hand job. I swear, Chelsea, he thinks I

789
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 3: have a penis and doesn't understand the girls have a

790
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 3: cave and the good stuff is inside, not outside. I

791
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 3: love this guy, so I'm desperate to make the change here.

792
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,000
Speaker 3: But I also don't want to humiliate him and make

793
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: sex some kind of competition that he's inevitably losing.

794
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: Please help Kristen, Wow, well, you not wanting to hurt

795
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 1: his feelings needs to be thrown in the trash because

796
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: it's really not about his feelings at this point. It's

797
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 1: about you having sex like an adult with a person

798
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 1: that knows what to do. So you have to kind

799
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: of sit down and lay it out for him in

800
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 1: a really sober conversation and be like, listen, this has

801
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: been going on for a while. You could say all

802
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 1: the things you love about him and all of the

803
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: things you value in your relationship, but that you're not

804
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: being sexually satisfied and that it doesn't feel like he's

805
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: comfortable around your vagina, and there are a million ways

806
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 1: to address that. You can sit there and just like

807
00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 1: actually have a discovery session with him to explain all

808
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: the different parts and what feels good and where your

809
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: clid is, and that you know, like, it's very strange

810
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: that he doesn't know how to touch your vagina.

811
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 2: Or doesn't want to. I mean, for all, we know

812
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,439
Speaker 2: the guy's going to be a master when he gets

813
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 2: actually down there, but he do we know that, Rob,

814
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 2: I mean I'm just giving I'm trying to give a

815
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 2: benefit of the doubt here.

816
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, that's a big, big jump. Yeah, so he's

817
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 1: never gone down on you.

818
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 6: No, no way, Oh my gosh.

819
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 5: And most people when I address this problem, because obviously

820
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 5: I've brought it up to all my friends, which is

821
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 5: humiliating immediately just regret just all over the place.

822
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 6: But you know, most of them.

823
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 5: Because I'm speaking in euphemisms all the time, all of

824
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 5: them think I'm talking about, you know, putting a face

825
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 5: down there and saying the alphabet, when really I'm just

826
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 5: talking about like the thing a lot.

827
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 6: Of people do in middle school. I feel like blasting

828
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 6: yes and like it's it's nothing special.

829
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 5: I mean usually that's sort of like the opening act

830
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 5: to anything like, but.

831
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 1: This is on you, like you can't even go you

832
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: at this point, for two years of tolerating no action

833
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: in your Pikachu, you're missing fingering blasting. You're missing fingering blesting,

834
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: finger blasting, you're missing.

835
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,720
Speaker 3: The shocker, you're missing, you're missing a lot of different

836
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 3: Like Hansing, I don't think he's going to be putting

837
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 3: his finger in her asshole if he's not putting it

838
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:42,720
Speaker 3: in her vagina.

839
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: But you're missing yeah, yeah, by accident. But you know what,

840
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: maybe there's an issue, and you have to ask. You

841
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 1: have to have a really honest conversation with him and

842
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 1: see if there's a reason, See if he's had a

843
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: bad experience, or if he's had some woman give him

844
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: terrible feedback, or that he wasn't good at it, or

845
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: someone told me he wasn't.

846
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 2: Good at it.

847
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 1: You have to be very careful, but also be like, listen,

848
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,840
Speaker 1: this just isn't normal. We've been together for two years.

849
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: You've never gone down on me, and you've never fingered me, Like,

850
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: those are two things that should happen before we even

851
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: have sex.

852
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 5: Yes, I think, I mean, and I've now I feel

853
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 5: like I'm constantly bringing it up to the point where

854
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my god, I can't even bring this

855
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 5: up one more time because I feel like such a

856
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 5: weird pervert to ask for this very basic thing.

857
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,800
Speaker 1: You're not a pervert, though, you're not a pervert.

858
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,760
Speaker 5: How do I tell you something that should be obvious

859
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 5: from the jump?

860
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 6: Also like lol to Rob low being.

861
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 3: Now, have you have you shown him if you tried,

862
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,800
Speaker 3: like showing him how you want to touch?

863
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: How have you brought this conversation?

864
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what That's what I want to know is like,

865
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 2: what is Like you said, you can't. I'm tired of

866
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 2: bringing it up. What is? What's the the dialogue? Let's here,

867
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 2: let's do a here. I'm going to play the part

868
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 2: of the guy that won't touch your vagina. Here we go.

869
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 6: It's very realistic.

870
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 2: This is this is the biggest stretch I've ever had

871
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 2: to do as an actor, by the way, right now,

872
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 2: so okay, we're going to do a little role play.

873
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 2: So you're unhappy? What tell me what?

874
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 6: Yeah?

875
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 5: So essentially what I've said a couple of times is, hey,

876
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 5: don't know what the deal is with like, you know,

877
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 5: you never touching this area before, Like, I don't know

878
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 5: how you haven't done this before. And I've tried to

879
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 5: bring it up outside of the context of the bedroom

880
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 5: because I think it can be kind of scary and

881
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 5: I don't want to do it right after the fact

882
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 5: and be like that sucked because you didn't do X,

883
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 5: Y Z right.

884
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 6: So I was trying to sort of bring it up

885
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 6: out of context.

886
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 5: And say, you know, is there a reason that you

887
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 5: don't feel comfortable with this?

888
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 6: Is there? Like do you have a traumatic thing in

889
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 6: your childhood? Yeah?

890
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: So you've said that, You've said you've said these things.

891
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, totally.

892
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 5: And it's just I'm kind of not getting a response.

893
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 5: And I don't know if it's because.

894
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 2: Wait, what does he give me? Give me my dialogue

895
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 2: in this role play? You say you're kind of not

896
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 2: getting a response. What is he what's my dialogue? What

897
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: am I saying to you?

898
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 6: Well?

899
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I just okay, I mean what's

900
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 2: the non response? What does he say? What does he

901
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 2: have to say for himself?

902
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 5: It's pretty much a lot of that, A lot of

903
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,040
Speaker 5: the I don't really know. And you know, I asked

904
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 5: him if he did that with a former partner and

905
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,399
Speaker 5: he was like, oh, maybe incidentally.

906
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 6: Incident like oops, I tripped kind of thing.

907
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 5: I'm like, would you fall down and you have to

908
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 5: grab her pubes to get up again?

909
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 2: Exactly? So I was saying, fell down into her vagina?

910
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 6: Tell me about it.

911
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 5: So so yeah, I also am like, my heart goes

912
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 5: out to the guy because I would need a place

913
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 5: to put my hands, Like I'm bored here, I'm just

914
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 5: sitting here.

915
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 6: I gotta do something. I gotta honk something or grab something.

916
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: I just don't understand how you've gone two years with

917
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 1: like this, this is so weird, it's so straight, Like

918
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 1: this is on you. You have to break this cycle

919
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 1: and like you have to have a serious conversation with

920
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: him in broad daylight and be like, listen, this isn't normal.

921
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 1: Sex between two people should be like examining each other's bodies,

922
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: cherishing each other's bodies, wanting to touch every single part

923
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: of it. That's what sex is. I've never been in

924
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: a relationship like this. I thought something was wrong with me,

925
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: but now I have to put it on you. What

926
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: is your hesitancy? Are you scared? Did you have a

927
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 1: bad experience? Did someone give you bad feedback? Make it

928
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: so that he is available to talk to you and

929
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: answer questions that maybe could reveal the reasoning behind it.

930
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: Do I have a smelly vagina? I mean you don't,

931
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying, like its put it out there. Well,

932
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 1: I think you would know if you had a smelly vagina.

933
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,760
Speaker 1: I mean, there's not that far away from our nose.

934
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 1: But you know, I think you should really really you

935
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: have to, Like for every woman, you have to do this,

936
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,799
Speaker 1: because what's he going to do when you break up

937
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: with him, go out with another girl and dissatisfy her?

938
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: For but I mean, I don't know anybody whould put

939
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: up with that for two years. I would have put

940
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: up with that for two weeks.

941
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 6: I know, Well that's what was.

942
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 5: And it's one of those things where, you know, the

943
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 5: longer it goes, and the longer it did go, the

944
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 5: more I was like, you know, because at first I'm

945
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 5: like Okay, a few weeks go by, a few months

946
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 5: go by, I'm like, all right. Maybe it's just because

947
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 5: there is the occasional encounter that happens even.

948
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 6: With normal people.

949
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 5: With my other normal partners, there's been encounters where it's

950
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 5: been like, oh, we just skipped straight to the main event,

951
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 5: and you know, it's it's quick and whatever, and things

952
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 5: just happen.

953
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 6: But it's never only been that, and.

954
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,640
Speaker 5: I actually like burst out and I wish I gave

955
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 5: Rob his you know, better feedback, better lines. But you know,

956
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 5: there was a point where we were out to dinner

957
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 5: with friends and he was making a lot of like

958
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 5: sexual jokes and like being silly about you know, just

959
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 5: like crass humor, and I was like, okay, dude, like enough,

960
00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 5: you know, it got to a point where I was

961
00:46:59,000 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 5: so fed up.

962
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 6: I was like enough, I mean, if you're gonna make.

963
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 5: Jokes like that, then you can't be scared to touch

964
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 5: my vagina.

965
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, hell ya, hell yah.

966
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,919
Speaker 3: If you get the answers to these questions and there's

967
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 3: no like underlying trauma or whatever, I think looking forward,

968
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:16,839
Speaker 3: like you need to put the onus on what's gonna

969
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 3: happen from here. So it's like I need more before

970
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 3: we get to the main event, to be turned on,

971
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 3: to be excited, to enjoy this. And so next time

972
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 3: we're in bed together, let's try this. I'm gonna show

973
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 3: you some moves and like we're gonna start experimenting for

974
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 3: like the next six months to like get where we

975
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: need to be in terms of like this not just

976
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: being penis and vagina sex, which is like such a

977
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 3: limited window of what sex is, I know, because are

978
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 3: you having orgasms?

979
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 6: I mean rarely?

980
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 1: Oh overall you need to be having orgasms like that? Yeah,

981
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 1: oh god, what a conundrum. But I blame you well,

982
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:58,799
Speaker 1: I mean you've been like putting up with this. You

983
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,640
Speaker 1: have to think about something. When you do something like this,

984
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: you are doing it on behalf of all women. You

985
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,920
Speaker 1: accepting this is saying this is okay for all women.

986
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:08,839
Speaker 1: That's how I want you to think about this.

987
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:09,919
Speaker 6: Yeah.

988
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 5: And if I had a friend come to me and

989
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 5: say this, I would be saying the exact same thing.

990
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 6: Like, there's no way anybody should put up with this.

991
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 6: It's ridiculous.

992
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: And you can offer, you can offer and say, listen,

993
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 1: if you want to go to like a sex therapist

994
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,399
Speaker 1: if you want, if you need to talk to someone

995
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: about it, I'm totally down to do that with you.

996
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: But like, good idea this, we have to figure out

997
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: what the problem is. You have to address it.

998
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, And I mean again, like for a while,

999
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 5: I was thinking, oh, it's gonna happen. It's gonna like

1000
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,919
Speaker 5: obviously it's going to happen, Like there's there's no way

1001
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 5: he doesn't know to do this, And the time just

1002
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,839
Speaker 5: kept ticking on with nothing happening, and it just got

1003
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 5: weirder and weirder, to the point where now I'm on

1004
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 5: a podcast telling people a dark, disgusting stuff.

1005
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 1: I know, I know, can you imagine I mean, obviously

1006
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: we won't show your face on this podcast, but can

1007
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 1: you imagine if we did? Oh my god?

1008
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, well that's the thing.

1009
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 5: I mean, all my friends know, like I said, and

1010
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 5: they all think I'm nuts.

1011
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, they can't respect him.

1012
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I mean that's the thing. They're like, what

1013
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 6: the hell? You know?

1014
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 1: You need to get your pussy ETN. Sorry to be

1015
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 1: so crass, but it's time. It's time to get somebody.

1016
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 1: You need to go. I honestly think, I mean, this

1017
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: sounds like a lost cause to me. Unfortunately. Do you

1018
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: tell each other you love each other?

1019
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, because it's been some time, you know, and

1020
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 5: he's got redeeming qualities, but this ain't one of them.

1021
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 6: Girl.

1022
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: No, you're gonna have to sit down and talk to him,

1023
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 1: and you're gonna need to do it quickly, and then

1024
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: we're gonna need a full report.

1025
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 6: Hey, you know I will, my god especially.

1026
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,319
Speaker 1: And you can always call in with him. You can

1027
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,879
Speaker 1: always you can always call in with him.

1028
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean that would.

1029
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 6: Be ideal if I could just have.

1030
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 5: Like y'all and you know, Rob Low and Tow like

1031
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 5: the old Smith.

1032
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:52,839
Speaker 1: Yes, if you could call in with him, we'll have

1033
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,279
Speaker 1: We'll make sure Rob Low is back so we could

1034
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 1: address this, so he has he has a straight man

1035
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 1: here on his team. But yes, I really you need

1036
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 1: to tell us what happens because he needs to explain himself.

1037
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 6: Oh you know, I will. There's a lot, a lot

1038
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:07,960
Speaker 6: to be explained here, But.

1039
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 1: I think I want you to write down on a

1040
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: sheet of paper and stick it to your mirror that

1041
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: every action I take is on behalf of all women everywhere.

1042
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: I would take like that. You make different decisions, and

1043
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 1: you make better decisions because what you would accept for

1044
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: your sister, your mother, your niece, your best friend, you

1045
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:26,839
Speaker 1: would never accept for yourself, you know what I mean?

1046
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:29,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, and this, yeah, it's read.

1047
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sorry I said that wrong, you know

1048
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, but I said that, Oh yeah, great,

1049
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 1: you got that right.

1050
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, wow, that's very profound.

1051
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 6: It was beautiful.

1052
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 5: But yeah, now I'm I'm down to do the experiment

1053
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 5: and see what happens, because yeah, it's it's been a

1054
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 5: long road of like a very shaped like Pikachu, and

1055
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 5: you know, we're just out here.

1056
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 6: I'm thirty three. I mean, things aren't.

1057
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 1: Don't waste a minute with this guy unless you can

1058
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: figure out what his issue is. Give us an update

1059
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 1: in like two weeks. It actually could be fun to

1060
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: have a discovery session with him and imagine how much

1061
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: like improvement he could he could gain and how much

1062
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: growth there could be Yeah, from zero right, like it

1063
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: could be a huge but but he has to be

1064
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: ready to get down to business. So so go have

1065
00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: the conversation and please report back, you know, I will. Okay, great,

1066
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 1: thank you for calling. Thanks. What does that mean? What

1067
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 1: does that mean?

1068
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 2: Rob?

1069
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 1: What does that mean when a man doesn't go down

1070
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: on a woman or finger her? What is that? I

1071
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: I Well, you're gonna have to come up with something wrong.

1072
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 3: I think some guys these days are like growing up

1073
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 3: with porn as they're sort of like, this is what

1074
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 3: sex is, which is mostly just like wailing away at

1075
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 3: some woman who's pretending like she's enjoying it. There's not

1076
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 3: a lot of like female pleasure involved in most porn.

1077
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 2: Wow, you know what that? I mean, that's as good

1078
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 2: answer as any right, I mean it Aukham's razor. If

1079
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 2: the most obvious answer is usually the answer is that what.

1080
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: Is Okham's razor?

1081
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 3: Again, the simplest answer is probably the right one.

1082
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 1: It's like the opposite of a conspiracy theory. That's right,

1083
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 1: yea right, Okay, We're going to take a break and

1084
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: we're going to be right back with mister Rob Low

1085
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: and we're back with Rob Low to wrap up today's episode.

1086
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: It was a double whammy episode. We were on Rod's

1087
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:41,040
Speaker 1: Rod Rod's podcast literally rod Low, rod Low, rock Hard

1088
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 1: rod Low, and then we went over to Dear Chelsea.

1089
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 1: It was a double whoopsiedoodle. I'm Catherine. How shall we

1090
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: close out the show today? Well, I have one more question.

1091
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,320
Speaker 3: It is a bit of a quickie, like the emails,

1092
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 3: a little long, but it's juicy.

1093
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 1: But then okay, pretty quick response, Dear Chelsea. I would

1094
00:52:59,280 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 1: love your opinion.

1095
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 3: And as a woman who understands the complexities of friendship

1096
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 3: as a former party girl, my closest friend of twelve years,

1097
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:08,759
Speaker 3: Abby stopped speaking to me after I tried to have

1098
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,800
Speaker 3: an intervention for her when I went through my divorce.

1099
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 3: She was there for me in every way and always

1100
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 3: had my back emotionally. She's wonderful advice and always there

1101
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 3: to listen. After moving to her city, though I saw

1102
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 3: the darker side of her life, heavy drinking, cheating on

1103
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 3: her husband, very reckless behavior, and manipulation to most people

1104
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 3: in her life. Before I saw all this firsthand, I

1105
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:31,439
Speaker 3: was always there to support her.

1106
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: Listen. Marriage is tough, life is hard.

1107
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 3: No judgment right wrong. She would drive her kids in

1108
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 3: the car while drinking and take advantage of everyone around her,

1109
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 3: manipulation for financial favors, you name it, and she hit

1110
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 3: it all behind a facade of success as a sweet

1111
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 3: and smiling teacher. Her behavior affected my life too.

1112
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: She slept with my boss, crashed.

1113
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:54,320
Speaker 3: A large work event, humiliated me in front of his wife,

1114
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 3: and constantly made me feel like I had to clean

1115
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,359
Speaker 3: up her mess and I did. She'd even leave before

1116
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:01,959
Speaker 3: the check came out restaurants, expecting me to cover the bill.

1117
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: When I started standing up for myself, things grew tense.

1118
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 3: Everything went to shit when I planned an intervention for

1119
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 3: her and she cut me off. Now I'm left questioning

1120
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,439
Speaker 3: if I'm a terrible friend for not setting boundaries sooner,

1121
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: or if I'm just codependent. What does it bother me

1122
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 3: if others think I'm the bad guy? Am I wrong

1123
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 3: for trying to set up an intervention for a friend,

1124
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 3: or should I be relieved that she's no longer in

1125
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 3: my life? Best bridget oh, and she says, I truly

1126
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 3: want to grow from this experience.

1127
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 1: Best Now, you did the right thing. I think you

1128
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 1: did the right thing. I've had an intervention that didn't

1129
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 1: go well. That person is no longer in my life,

1130
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:37,240
Speaker 1: and my life without her is much better. She couldn't

1131
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: accept what we were saying. She couldn't understand what we

1132
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: were saying. I've had many interventions in my life with people,

1133
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: and every one of them has been great and understanding

1134
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 1: and fruitful, and those people have all ended up on

1135
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 1: the other side and they've all gotten sober. This person,

1136
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 1: it wasn't really about alcohol and drugs. It was more

1137
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 1: about their life and life choices and the negative impact

1138
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: they were having on everyone. And she's not in my

1139
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: life and you did nothing wrong. That behavior is very

1140
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 1: toxic and you should be grateful that she's not in

1141
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: your life. Period. That's all you can do is try

1142
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:12,879
Speaker 1: to tell somebody the truth that if they don't want

1143
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:14,400
Speaker 1: to hear it, then they're not going to hear it.

1144
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent agree with that sentiment and have

1145
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,399
Speaker 2: the same experience I've I've been a part of many interventions,

1146
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 2: and I don't know half of them do not end well,

1147
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 2: and usually that person continues on the path and I

1148
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 2: moved on and those people aren't in my life anymore,

1149
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 2: and there's nothing I just think that interventions have a

1150
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 2: I think people go into them maybe thinking that there's

1151
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:46,280
Speaker 2: some sort of guarantee of success or that the odds

1152
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 2: are in your face. It's not about that, it's not

1153
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,920
Speaker 2: about any of that. Interventions are about you going in

1154
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 2: and stating your piece in a way that you can

1155
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:59,720
Speaker 2: live with yourself. If she kills those kids drunk driving,

1156
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 2: mm hmm. Absolutely, that's what it is.

1157
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: That's when you're putting other people at risk with your

1158
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 1: decision making. That justifies an intervention. Justifies an intervention. You're

1159
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: thinking about other people. It's not you being judgmental, it's

1160
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: you worrying about her driving around drunk with your kids. No,

1161
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 1: absolutely not.

1162
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 2: Yep, you're better off without her.

1163
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hopefully one day she'll come to you know,

1164
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 1: come to Jesus, or she'll have her come to Jesus

1165
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 1: moment and get her shit together. And in that case,

1166
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:28,479
Speaker 1: and especially when she has the reaction that she had,

1167
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: then she's not able to hear you. Period. Some people

1168
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 1: are just not in the place where they can hear you.

1169
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean they're God forever, It just means that

1170
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 1: they're not there yet. So you did the right thing

1171
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,400
Speaker 1: and just move on. With grace and be happy that

1172
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 1: you know you don't have to bear the burden of

1173
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 1: her friendship right now or worry about her decisions.

1174
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:45,960
Speaker 2: Ditto.

1175
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 1: I mean, Rob, this has just been what a pleasure

1176
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: as always Rob, always Rob. Next year we need to

1177
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 1: ski together. Okay, you take that in a goal of ours.

1178
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 1: Are you going to come? Why don't you come to

1179
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: Whistler and we can ski together. That way, one of

1180
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,799
Speaker 1: us will already be here, so that's the only moving

1181
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 1: part will.

1182
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,880
Speaker 2: Be you right. No, I'm in Worsters, as you know,

1183
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 2: it's one of my favorite places in the world to ski.

1184
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,839
Speaker 1: And find a job in Vancouver, and then you come

1185
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 1: up here for the weekend and we'll ski together. Because

1186
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: I would really like to see what's happening with your skiing.

1187
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:20,320
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, go to Do you have TikTok, Chelsea?

1188
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: Yes, of course I have TikTok.

1189
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 2: Rob. Go to my TikTok and look at my postings.

1190
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 2: You get to scroll down just a little bit, okay,

1191
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 2: and you're going to see one of the sickest, sickest

1192
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: powder runs I was ever I've ever done it.

1193
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 1: Alta, I'm going right now, I'm going to look right

1194
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: now everybody else go to TikTok to see Rob lows ski. Okay, well, Rob,

1195
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,439
Speaker 1: that was great. You're you're a treat. I love how

1196
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 1: open and ridiculous you are. And I see you at

1197
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 1: some time in person before we ski or you know,

1198
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 1: when we ski. Whatever. I'll take whatever I can get.

1199
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 2: I love it. And this I loved. Thank you for

1200
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 2: being on literally and yes, and this, this little like

1201
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 2: crossover event was super cool.

1202
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 1: Yes, you guys can catch Rob's podcast is Literally and

1203
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 1: you can also catch up on his first three seasons

1204
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 1: of his hit game show The Floor, which is on Hulu.

1205
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Rob.

1206
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: Thank you for your great day.

1207
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: Okay, bye, guys. Do do Do Do Do do drum

1208
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: roll Catherine please and abroad broad is my European tour.

1209
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I

1210
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 1: need to get the health out of this fucking country

1211
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 1: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm

1212
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: coming to Rekkuvik, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to

1213
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May

1214
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 1: and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,

1215
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 1: New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona,

1216
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 1: and I'm coming abroad. Is abroad that sounds like fun.

1217
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 1: I'm going to go see you abroad. I know I

1218
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 1: want to go see me abroad and there there all be,

1219
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 1: there all be excellent. Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas,

1220
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 1: there are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming

1221
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 1: and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing

1222
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: my residency on July fifth. We will be the next

1223
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 1: date that I'm there, July fifth, August thirtieth, and then

1224
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:35,760
Speaker 1: November one and twenty ninth. November one and November twenty ninth,

1225
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 1: I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing

1226
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:42,520
Speaker 1: inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the

1227
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 1: Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you. Do you want

1228
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: advice from Chelsea?

1229
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:51,120
Speaker 3: Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find

1230
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 3: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

1231
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

1232
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 3: by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine law And be sure

1233
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 3: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com