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Speaker 1: Wellcome back to another episode. What about alchemy? This covidition

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Speaker 1: on your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes, Kevin, No, I'm actually

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Speaker 1: okay never shaking another hand, though I will miss the

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Speaker 1: awkwardness of doing. But I digress this. When you're not

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Speaker 1: going to show me no particular order, say how to

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Speaker 1: eat caroline cutter cuttered cream. When ship hits the fan,

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Speaker 1: which alchemist do you want in the bunker? And why? Um,

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Speaker 1: that's a good question. When you say it hits a fan,

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Speaker 1: do you mean like the world is ending or somehoever?

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Speaker 1: You kill me? How fever, I'm gonna assume someone's coming

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Speaker 1: to kill me. I'm gonna say I think James because

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Speaker 1: he has so many computers and equipment that like something,

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Speaker 1: something has to be figured out by that. Yeah, here

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you don't know how

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Speaker 1: to work them. It's just that I need the equipment there.

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Speaker 1: I think it will be good. The equipment can bar

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Speaker 1: the door, like all those computers can just be a

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Speaker 1: block damn right place. Hello to Chris albarad Oh dis Chris,

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Speaker 1: not that? Do you think James is gonna be okay? Definitely?

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Speaker 1: You know why? You know what? Because he is so loved,

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Speaker 1: So even if he falls, or he trips or makes

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Speaker 1: mistakes over whatever he does, he's gonna fall in arms

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Speaker 1: outstretched to him. Everybody who knows James loves him. Isn't

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Speaker 1: that true? Except for the jerks on his Facebook page.

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Speaker 1: Hey there's Craig Kakowski. Ko, please pitch us a new

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Speaker 1: greeting gesture to replace the handshake? Well, uh, if you

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Speaker 1: were call Sam Sam Wainwright from It's a Wonderful Life.

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Speaker 1: Does that? He uh? Involves like sticking your thumbs and

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Speaker 1: both of your ears, waving your fingers like you're a donkey. Look, everybody,

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Speaker 1: everybody in the alchemy this cast is already doing it.

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Speaker 1: I think it's time for heat ought to come back.

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Speaker 1: I am so fucking down. Everyone get in that position

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Speaker 1: for Chris's photo. Sam Wayne Right, he dog soybeans? Hot dog?

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Speaker 1: H Why there's James Heeney the heat for four hundred.

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Speaker 1: The fine folks at Costco claimed that their outdoor window

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Speaker 1: offering of a hot dog and beverage with free refill

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Speaker 1: is a loss leader. Are you buying that? And if so,

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Speaker 1: what would you like on it? I think if they

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Speaker 1: wanted to be smart and make money. They'd put that

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Speaker 1: thing deep inside of Costco, so you'd have to navigate

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Speaker 1: the aisles to get to because it is a good deal,

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Speaker 1: and I can get that deal in front of their

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Speaker 1: store and then walk away. But if they buried it deep,

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Speaker 1: I'd have to get a membership. That's the question. You'll

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Speaker 1: stop five and now and then I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I answered that right. Oh no, you you answered it right?

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Speaker 1: Is that the question? And last? But take the cat

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Speaker 1: for a walk. If you think of least it's Joey

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Speaker 1: greer Joe from that Doe Joe. Which of all animals

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Speaker 1: have you talked to the longest? Holy shit? Uh? Right,

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Speaker 1: there is a I think it's a possum. There's a dead,

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Speaker 1: bloated possum outside my house, and I speak to that

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Speaker 1: animal every single day. I've I've needed different clothes. I

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Speaker 1: made a small, little little home for exactly like a

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Speaker 1: two story placial estate for what a possum want to have.

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Speaker 1: But to you, it's a little home. It's a little home.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, like nine ft tall. Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: you're not staying thousand square feet? No, no, I'm not

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Speaker 1: staying there. Um, But I do want to just say

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Speaker 1: that James is six eight and he his red hair.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's do a damn show. Almost all of

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Speaker 1: our scene suggestions gathered from our listener emails please send

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Speaker 1: yours to your name here at alcum to this dot com,

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Speaker 1: and some of the scenes are suggested by Patreon supporters

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Speaker 1: of the show and who and get They enjoy, of course,

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Speaker 1: exclusive content and other perks which, by the way, James,

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Speaker 1: we need to step up. If you'd like to join them,

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Speaker 1: head on over to Patreon dot com slash alchemy. This

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Speaker 1: all right, let's get the scene. One from Lloyd, who wrote,

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Speaker 1: I'm a truck driver in your program has been the

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Speaker 1: source of endless laughter and entertainment for my fiance and

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Speaker 1: me through many long hours on the road during these

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Speaker 1: crazy uncertain times. At least it had been until James

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Speaker 1: turned us onto Macaulay Culkin's wonderful podcast about dead Rabbits

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Speaker 1: in a free ad plug he did a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks back. Though we're no longer have any time for

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Speaker 1: your show, what with the dead Rabbits and all, I

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Speaker 1: thought this breakup might go a little easier with a

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Speaker 1: scene suggestion. It follows a dirty old lady who makes

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Speaker 1: compromising life decisions in order to hit on the life

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Speaker 1: alert dispatchers. PS. You guys are great. Keep doing what

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Speaker 1: you're doing. We just wanted you to know. It's not you.

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Speaker 1: It's James Crely, sincerely, your formerly biggest non Patreon fans.

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Speaker 1: Nice word game. Dispatch your nine How can I help you?

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Speaker 1: Dispatch your nine four four trains? Free call over? Okay,

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Speaker 1: what's the emergency? I um, I'm sorry, hold on, I

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Speaker 1: got a cross connection dispatch nine four four? Uh could

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Speaker 1: you please hold back. I'm talking on the phone with

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Speaker 1: somebody that's got an emergency. I'm not exactly sure what

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Speaker 1: we need right now. Ahead and say your emergency dispatch

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Speaker 1: to six one over. Dispatches, All dispatches, please hold off.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to find out which which of your expertise

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Speaker 1: are needed. I don't know the emergency yet, and I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry you are who the Lord our savior? I'm Jared

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Speaker 1: the operator at nine one one facilities and step off. Everybody.

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Speaker 1: No one could thank you. Um ma'am have you fallen down?

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Speaker 1: Are you having difficulty getting dispatcher? You interrupting an operator

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Speaker 1: in nine one one? I have got this is this

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Speaker 1: is between me and what was your name? No? I

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Speaker 1: want you both and my name is Janice. H what's

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Speaker 1: your What are your names? I heard that Cliff, Jared

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Speaker 1: and Jared and Cliff. Yes, I will. I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: if you're gonna work with Cliff or not. It's dependent

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Speaker 1: said what ind of emergency you have. Cliff has a

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Speaker 1: certain set of skills, and I know which which of

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Speaker 1: my dispatchers I can send out. Shall I go through

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Speaker 1: my set of skills at this point, ma'am, please and

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Speaker 1: say it low and slow. Janice, don't be dissuaded like

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Speaker 1: Cliffs are gonna give you his skills right now. But

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Speaker 1: your emergency is unique to you. Alright, go ahead. I

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Speaker 1: think he just said massage and that's and that's exactly

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Speaker 1: what I need. Massage. Um, Jannis, I'm gonna put you

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Speaker 1: on hold for one moment. Hello, I've been trying to

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Speaker 1: get through for so long, but it seems the phone

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Speaker 1: lines have been clogged. I I fairly inside my toilet

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Speaker 1: and my body is stuck inside the little funnel that

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Speaker 1: goes talking. You're talking to give me the phone. What

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Speaker 1: did I tell you about making phone calls? Ship? I

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Speaker 1: can't that's right, that's right now, looks. As soon as

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Speaker 1: your rich son pays the fucking ransom, then you can

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Speaker 1: call wherever you want to. You understand? Are you still there? Hello?

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Speaker 1: Someone on the phone. Give me the no certain you

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Speaker 1: fell inside your toilet? Is that that's what I'm getting?

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Speaker 1: I can hear you. I fell in shine? My choice? Yes?

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Speaker 1: How do I turn this fucking thing off? Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: calling youth? Hello? Shut up, I'm calling your son. It's

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Speaker 1: ringing stay in Hello. Hello, Hello, Hey, it's the bad

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Speaker 1: guy who has your grandmother. I'm part of it, your mom? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, sir. Sorry, I know you're on the phone.

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Speaker 1: But would you like caviar? Or you don't want to

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Speaker 1: hear the second option? Okay? Great, Um, I'll put it

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Speaker 1: in your dog's bowl? Thank you? Okay, what was it?

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Speaker 1: Tough guy? I have your mom here. How she's doing

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Speaker 1: She's not doing well? Here, listen to her say something. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm in the toy land and my whole thought she

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Speaker 1: love you? Do you love her? Well? I mean sure?

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Speaker 1: Look all we're asking for excuse me, I hope. I

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Speaker 1: hate to interrupt this phone call, but would you like

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Speaker 1: these hot towels on your face? Yes? Thank you if

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Speaker 1: you want to see if you want to see your

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Speaker 1: mom hundred thousand. So you want half a million to

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Speaker 1: release my mother back into my care? Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: otherwise I'm gonna flush it down this toilet. Uh huh

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Speaker 1: is that you or me? Hold on a second. Hello, Well,

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Speaker 1: this is Curtis from Life Alert. U. I'm not sure

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Speaker 1: how I got you, but I got a call from

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Speaker 1: inside a toilet. Uh. And we we've traced the call

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Speaker 1: to a to a toilet on the north side. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let me connect you. Uh thanld on a second, Hey,

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Speaker 1: tough guy. Yeah, yeah, I got Life Alert calling for

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Speaker 1: your mother. Don't it's your mom? It's your feet are

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Speaker 1: getting so soft? Do you feel like she's your mom? Now?

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Speaker 1: So alright, listen, you have until three o'clock today. Did

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Speaker 1: you hear that is like paper? It's like paper? Hello,

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Speaker 1: Life Alert. Yeah, I think I inivertly called somebody sir before.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to make sure I got everybody's pronouns

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Speaker 1: correct on this call. Okay, Hi, Curtis, I'm I'm a

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Speaker 1: bad guy. I'm doing bad things. You get it. Curtis,

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Speaker 1: Thanks for are coming in and talking with me. We

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Speaker 1: reviewed to some of the audio from your previous calls,

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Speaker 1: and I just want to say, first and foremost, we

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Speaker 1: love it. We love it. We think you're doing some

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Speaker 1: fantastic work here, and we actually want to promote you

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Speaker 1: and put you in a position to um well, to

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Speaker 1: go in the field, not just be doing phone calls,

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Speaker 1: to go out there and help the people who fall

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Speaker 1: in and can't get up exactly. We need you to

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Speaker 1: go out on the street, find people who are falling,

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Speaker 1: and maybe more importantly, if you could make people fall Jim,

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Speaker 1: are you inco Taco Tuesday? Jim, I am in. I

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Speaker 1: have a hundred. Okay, sorry, I'm there's a Taco Tuesday. Kurt,

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Speaker 1: give me one second. Here? Are we doing veggies? Are

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Speaker 1: we doing me? Whatever you want? Whatever I want? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well then veggies, Yes, veggies. I've been told you just

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Speaker 1: bring my lunch all along, Kurt, give me a second. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: So if we're doing me, can we do okay, can

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Speaker 1: we do Carnista this time instead of pork? Is that park? No?

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Speaker 1: I said? Instead? Janiceon? Is this the same woman that

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Speaker 1: called yesterday for a foot massage? You remember me? Yes?

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Speaker 1: It is Listen, I this is nine one one, and

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Speaker 1: we only deal with real emergencies here. So what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna give you if you get a pen and paper,

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Speaker 1: but I think you really need is life Alert. Life

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Speaker 1: Alert is for you know, when it's not really an

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Speaker 1: emergency and you don't really need to call nine one one. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have that in my house. I'm

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Speaker 1: all digital here. Okay, well maybe type it into the computer.

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Speaker 1: Do you have an extra note pad up on your computer? Yes?

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Speaker 1: All right, so actually, you know what if you're from

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Speaker 1: a computer, just go to go to your whatever search process.

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Speaker 1: Are you like to just search for nine one one

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Speaker 1: is used? Bing dot com is my preferred Okay, well

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Speaker 1: use that one. Not that, but you could use Safari, Opera, Google, Firefox,

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Speaker 1: any of those. Don't you just you listed browser types? Not? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I already did. Okay, we didn't even ask me what

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Speaker 1: my emergency was. I know you don't have an emergency.

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Speaker 1: I have calor ID d janis. You're trying to get

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Speaker 1: Cliff on the line, or you're trying to get one

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Speaker 1: of our other dispatchers. Just getting account with like want

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Speaker 1: a massage? Like I want a massage covered by my insurance?

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Speaker 1: So how does it feel old? Lady, to know that

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Speaker 1: your own son doesn't love you. I can see my bones.

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Speaker 1: I can see my bone. Just look, I'm not enjoying this. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I used to clean your pool. You know I liked

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Speaker 1: you to be honest, but I also know your son

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Speaker 1: is loaded. Just stand just stand up. All my mushrooms

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Speaker 1: have fell down the bathroom tubes. I want to know

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Speaker 1: how you feel about your son not not helping you

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Speaker 1: out here? Why can I still feel my bones? All

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Speaker 1: the nerves are gone? Okay, this is the sing bong.

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Speaker 1: Can I get your door? I'll get your door. I

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Speaker 1: can't get out. I'm stuck. Hello. Hey, I'm Curtis from

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Speaker 1: Life Alert. Um the fuck? Do you want a carnetas

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Speaker 1: or I have I have a fish taco? Or there's

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Speaker 1: a there's an assada here? Um, maybe you want something

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Speaker 1: to eat? Maybe you wanna sandwich, You want a gun sandwich?

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Speaker 1: Get in here. I don't want a gun sandwich. Get

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Speaker 1: in here. I don't know I had tons of top

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Speaker 1: of the lady, I don't need a gun sandwich. H Oh,

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Speaker 1: are you all right? Are you? Are you down there

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Speaker 1: with the toilet? I'm down here in the toyland, ma'am.

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Speaker 1: I'm Curtis. My pronouns are he him? Curtis? Is there

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Speaker 1: anybody in your life who loves you and has a

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Speaker 1: lot of money? No? No, I'm not not that close

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Speaker 1: with my folks. Uh. I guess my manager at Life Alert,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty close with Okay, okay, okay, so he's at

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Speaker 1: Life Alert. What's his name? Oh it's okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: you two just hang out here. Don't fucking move. I

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Speaker 1: still have this gun pointed right at you. He sent

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Speaker 1: me out to trip people to try to drum up

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Speaker 1: more business by low. Hi, can I speak to the manager? Please? Hi? Um,

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Speaker 1: I have one of your employees here, Curtis, I believe

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Speaker 1: it is. Oh hey, yeah, how's he doing? Not great?

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Speaker 1: He's in a lot of trouble. You see. I'm a

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Speaker 1: bad guy. Yeah, I'm a bad bad guy. And in

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Speaker 1: order for me to release Curtis, I'm gonna need some

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Speaker 1: moola and fellow elak after the elderly. I don't have

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Speaker 1: time for this. Oh good, good, good good. A southern drawl.

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Speaker 1: That's not the manager I was thinking of. Oh okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: is there somebody higher than you, sir? I think of

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Speaker 1: my direct No. No, he's lower than him, higher than me.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking my direct supervisor whose name escapes thing? Okay, yeah, sir, yeah,

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Speaker 1: can I speak to your supervisor? Please? My supervisor. So

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Speaker 1: you want to make somebody above me? That's correct? Wait? What?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? Thank you? Curtis? You you're a doll by

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Speaker 1: the way, Curtis, Um, no, is there somebody? Is this?

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Speaker 1: Somebody who's below you but still you know, has a

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Speaker 1: managerial position. You want to blow me? Goodbye? Oh, ma'am, ma'am,

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00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 1: I'm here to help. Oh one nine one, Hello, Hi,

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Speaker 1: my name is Jim Hornberg down okay one, My is

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Speaker 1: Horborge over River. Is exactly how it sounds. Listen to

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Speaker 1: serve ship, sir. Listen, I've been I lost one of

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Speaker 1: my employees. I work at Life Alert. Okay, I told

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Speaker 1: him to cloud. You work at Life Alert. I work

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Speaker 1: at Life Alert. Okay. Yes, I'm not proud of it. Alright,

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Speaker 1: I've been a low level supervisor. I should be working

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Speaker 1: my way up at this point. I understand that I

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Speaker 1: know what's available. Okay, but this is the professions of

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Speaker 1: corporate America, all right. Things follow me because the people

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Speaker 1: about me, they don't want to do it. And they

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Speaker 1: asked me to do it. And guess what, I've turned

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Speaker 1: into a bad manager guy. I got another call, but

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Speaker 1: I can tell this is an emergency. Should just hold

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Speaker 1: on one second? You have a rotary phone at nine one? Hello? Hi, Um,

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Speaker 1: I really need jan rubbed my boy, Janice. I can't,

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Speaker 1: I can't take this right now. There's a real emergency.

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Speaker 1: Right now is a real This is a real emergency.

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Speaker 1: The blood is pooling at my ankles for real. Yeah, Jennie,

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Speaker 1: hold on one second. I mean, hello, it's easy to

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Speaker 1: call down credit card. I don't get a credit card

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Speaker 1: because they don't trust me with that kind of corporate

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Speaker 1: Jim Horpe Jrger. It's Jim Horpe Jerger. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why I spaced on that. It's such such a memorable name. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I banged it. I banged it and it's Jim Horbitrger Lilt, Yes, Hi,

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Speaker 1: I need to speak to Jim Horber Jerger. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: what do you need with Jim? None of your business

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Speaker 1: just passed me through the place. No, I kind of

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Speaker 1: is my business because I'm a dispatcher. So, um, what

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Speaker 1: do you need? Somebody fell down? Uh? Huh? Could you

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Speaker 1: be more general. No, okay, hold, let me get Jim. Okay,

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Speaker 1: might yeah, what her up? Talk of God? Him? Yummy?

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Speaker 1: The phone for you? Also? Hello, Hi, Mr Horberner, jerk?

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Speaker 1: Who is this? I'm a bad guy? Are you? And

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Speaker 1: I I'm not great? I mean quite a situation here.

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Speaker 1: I have an elderly woman who's stuck in the toilet,

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Speaker 1: and I have an employee of yours. You might recognize

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Speaker 1: this voice, Jim, It's Curtis. I blanked on your name.

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. It's okay, all right, Well this threat

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00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 1: is definitely sounding like some kind of math problem. So

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Speaker 1: going okay. So if one old lady is in the

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Speaker 1: toilet and one of your employees is here, not harmed,

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00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 1: but away from his van, and I need upwards of

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00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: five thousand dollars? Is what? Curtis has? A van? Did

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Speaker 1: you come in a van? It's a minivan? Yeah, a minivan.

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Speaker 1: I didn't. I did not know that, Curtis. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: You didn't. You don't strike me as a mini van? Candic?

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00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,719
Speaker 1: Do you the family? Curtis? Curtis, he's asking all these

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Speaker 1: questions about you. Here, can take a phone. Hello, this

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Speaker 1: Curtis Curtis. Look I realized I don't know a lot

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Speaker 1: about you, okay, and I want you to know I

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00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: want above the board. And I called nine one to

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Speaker 1: search for you, all right, I uh, nine one one

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00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 1: the enemy I called. I called the enemy to look

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Speaker 1: for you. Look. I don't know a lot about you, alright,

305
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 1: and I know you're with a bad guy. You're probably

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00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 1: making bad calls. I don't know, but I forgive you, alright, jam,

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00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: I've dummed up so much business for the company. I

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00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 1: got a lady in a toilet here and I'm about

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Speaker 1: to trip this guy. What if you do this? Oh god? Now,

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Speaker 1: who's the bad guy? Called N one? What's the number?

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00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 1: And that scene one? Ah yeah, mommy, make it stop.

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00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 1: Seen two come fries from patron v I P Chris

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00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 1: A k A. Crispy A who wrote, Hello Kevin, for

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00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 1: the sake of brevity, you're all awesome and my scene

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00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 1: suggestion is a vapor shop. Please keep doing what you're

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00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 1: doing Chris from the UK. Thank you, Crispy. And that

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00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 1: one's called the Flying Dragon. I could do. I could

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Speaker 1: do pigeons, which light. What's this one called? Uh uh?

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00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: That was not for sale just yet, but it's not

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00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 1: in the market. What about that one? Uh? This is

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00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 1: uh tweeled? What's this one with the hooks on it? Uh?

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00:21:55,680 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: That's does love? Which? This one looks like a my foot? Uh? Crackophobia?

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Speaker 1: Did you know all these things? Man's sick? Dude, it's

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00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: my shop, it's my shop. Listen, look before listen. The

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00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 1: way you pick a vape is not just like what

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00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: looks cool? It's like what do you need? Are we

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00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: talking injection of nicotine to the system asap? But we

328
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 1: talked about I mean yeah kind of Are we talking

329
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 1: like clouds for days? You know what I mean? Are you?

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00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: Are you getting needle vapes? I mean? I got a

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00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 1: couple of neal apes? What's that one called spink O?

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00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 1: That one? How's it going? Hey? How's it going good?

333
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: You take a number? No, I can help you. This

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00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: guy's just looking you go to Statham stink A matter

335
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: of fact, I do. Did you want that blueberry or

336
00:22:53,960 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: passion fruit? Passion? Holy? Sure? You are you Jason Stathum? No? Mate?

337
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: Get that a lot? Then I saw you in the Meg.

338
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 1: That's great? What's your name? Crop? You watched the Meg? Uh? Huh?

339
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 1: Do you lose a bet? Did you want to photo something?

340
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: Because I really want to get this vape and go.

341
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: Wait are you see them? Oh man, I'm just trying

342
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: to get out of you. You know what I mean?

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00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 1: I love a photo that'll be sick. These are free.

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00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,280
Speaker 1: These are free. If you are him, I gotta charge you.

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00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: If you're not, I'm tasting. We gotta go, We gotta

346
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: go get get the vap and we gotta get back

347
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 1: in the car. Oh fox sake. Sorry mate, Yeah, I

348
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 1: don't mind paying for him. And let's student photo real

349
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: quick here. Okay, hey listen, I just want to let

350
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: both you know. We're having an underground competition here tonight.

351
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,479
Speaker 1: We'll kind of in petition, a vape competition. You know what,

352
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: I don't even need to know if it's underground. I

353
00:23:54,480 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: mean what time? Okay, it's ship that's start. We have

354
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: a lot of different categories. We have up in smoke category,

355
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: we have nicotine, Nico nine category, A lot of different categories,

356
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: right Jason, that they're giving me a ticket right now.

357
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: You got to hurry up. They've given me a ticket

358
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: right now. I swear, crush. I want to put a

359
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: nice pit three of fucking eye getting the cat. Sorry man, look,

360
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: I don't care who you are. You're parked in a

361
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: handicapped on loading zone. I'm gonna have to give you

362
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: a ticket. All right, that's just how you didn't understand.

363
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: You understand, it's just for a second chasing state them.

364
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 1: You know what, Jason states inside that vape shop. Right now,

365
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 1: we're gonna be in, we're gonna be out. We can't

366
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 1: go to a regular poking spot. It's going to be

367
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 1: a big, big deal. Please just give me to give

368
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: you what fifteen minutes. No, I'm not gonna give you minutes.

369
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: If I see somebody show up here with that wheelchair

370
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Speaker 1: or a handicap sign, I'll pull out of the spot.

371
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: But right now there's nobody using it. Sir. There are

372
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: several meter spots ahead of you that are open, and

373
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: you have not chosen them or even decided to like

374
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 1: use that as a as a as a thing that

375
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: Jason Statham is an action hero. He's gonna come running

376
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 1: out here and he needs to be able to hope

377
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 1: in this car right away. Okay, so please just give

378
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: me five more minutes. I'll give you five minutes, but

379
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: it's gonna cost you. I'm gonna need a photo with

380
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 1: Jason Statham all right, all right, all right, you stay here,

381
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: we'll take one quick photo when he comes out. Don't worry,

382
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 1: he loves photos. We'll hurry it up. Okay, So it's

383
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: um by only. Okay, make sure you know it's category

384
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: you're signing up for ahead of time or some kinding.

385
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: You just show up, you need to show up. Here's

386
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: here's the transporter too. Yeah, that one's that. The Transporter

387
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: two is on sale, Transporter three not on sale? What

388
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 1: do I do? What do I do? This fly? I

389
00:25:55,640 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 1: don't gonna bring this back doing. No, the deuce is

390
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 1: the deuces are? That's actually clearance right now. But it's

391
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: known to hurt. We've already got We've already got a

392
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,719
Speaker 1: bunch of people outside waiting for you to get photos.

393
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: It's like com on corn all over again. Get done,

394
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 1: Get back in the car, all right, back right? You

395
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 1: got a back way out of him, mate? Yeah, yeah,

396
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: you can come up behind the counter with red. You

397
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: made rob back you fuck by the way. You might

398
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:30,119
Speaker 1: meet somebody in the back. Just keep walking. She's gonna

399
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: ask you for things. Just keep going. Okay, fair enough?

400
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: And het hate this flashlight? Oh thanks mate? Sure are

401
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: you give enough flashlights? No, that's just for him to

402
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: use to go through the bag. Hey, are you going

403
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: to compete in that or what? Man? I was thinking

404
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: about it, but you know, most of my skin on

405
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: my feet is are like really raw. I don't know

406
00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: how long I can stand? You can sit? Oh? All right? Yeah?

407
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 1: M like, is he is he coming up from the front?

408
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: Where is he? I've been waiting for how long? I

409
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: think he's gonna be just one second? Uh? This is

410
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: your first time in one of these underground vapeofs Yeah,

411
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: I think it is. Yeah, alright, alright, nice, you're in

412
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: for a treatment. Let me tell you this is not

413
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: the first time we've had a celebrity here. Oh yeah,

414
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: who your else yet? STRAI sam right, all the ses,

415
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 1: I all the yeah. But this might be the first

416
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: time we've had a celeb with a vape pen named

417
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 1: after them. All right, right, he tried State from Saint.

418
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,959
Speaker 1: I have tried I yeah, I have sucked deep from

419
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 1: stateroom Staint. It's a bad Yeah. So you you were

420
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: you showed up specifically to get a States from States. Well,

421
00:27:54,960 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: it's from me, mum, all right, I'll be honest, I

422
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: don't understand half of what you're saying, but it's it's

423
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 1: so goddamn it timid. Okay, everyone, alright, alright here we

424
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: go ahead to sign yet, please do so? Ok we

425
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 1: all want to face. We all want to I don't

426
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: know what it is. Why when I talk is everyone's screen?

427
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: She just wanted, Oh, alright, sign up? All I forgot

428
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 1: to sign up. I gotta sign up. You gotta play.

429
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: We got a babe, I might well here. Why why

430
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: would we need to sign up before here? Already? What?

431
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: You gotta get on the list, and you gotta get

432
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: on the right list, and you gotta end the list

433
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 1: in the order that you sign up. So I don't

434
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: do lists. So I think I'm all right, man, you're crazy.

435
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: Stris ended the same thing. She's like a bird that one. Now, Reggie,

436
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: I don't give a ship. Okay, you're gonna staying my

437
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: goddamn home until Jason Statham comes and picks you up

438
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: and I get a goddamn photo. All right. You don't

439
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: understand he doesn't even know him here. How is he

440
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: gonna come here and get you a photo? The last

441
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: he saw me, I was outside of that vape shop.

442
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: But then you better text him or you better call him.

443
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: Or send a pigeon with a cell phone strap to

444
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: its throat. I don't care how you do it, sweetheart.

445
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: You're burning burgers. Oh goddamnit. Shit, why do you have

446
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: me blindfolded sucking pork burgers? God damn it. Don't say

447
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: something was wrong with him? Did somebody else in the room.

448
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: I've been kidnapped, mom. I'm scared. Who's the burgers? Are gonna? Be? Fine?

449
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: Scared about the burgers. I don't want them to be burned.

450
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: I want them to be juicy and cooked just right.

451
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: You know, I like my pork burgers. So do I, Claire,

452
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: So do I? All right, he's God damn it, this

453
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 1: fucking porkos jeeves. Well, you know what, fuck it, Reggie,

454
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 1: You're gonna get one of the burned ones. I'm sorry.

455
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: I wish it was I wish it was a different

456
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: kind of you know, introductions, and I thinking, but those

457
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: carcinogens cause cancer. Please, I don't want to have a

458
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: bunt burger. You're not gonna disrespect me. Look, I was

459
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: gonna be honest as your doctor. Carcinogens cause cancer? Okay,

460
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: yeah no, so that's why you don't So I should

461
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: switch to vape exactly by definition, carcinogens cause cancer, right,

462
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: and what's the confusion? Uh? Look, you're the water showed

463
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: up at my front door. Man, I've having a dinner

464
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: party right now. Doctor. I'm sorry, there're a lot hell

465
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: making up online. I know, I know, but I just

466
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: had a question I needed. I'll ask you. Should I

467
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 1: wait in line? Yeah, get on the list? I think

468
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: I think maybe he could. I think so. Carcinogens. Oh,

469
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 1: let me just ask really quick. Carcinogens in smoke. When

470
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 1: you're smoking, it's you know, that's carcinogens. Obviously. Do you

471
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: burn a bunker? Is that crescent angens too? Burger? Any bug?

472
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: Because once it's but it's just carcinogens, right, just different burger.

473
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: It's pure carcinogen, but it's just particularly particularly acute in pork. Cute? Good?

474
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 1: All right? Okay are you yes? Dr? My question? Okay,

475
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 1: I've been wrapping cheese around different pieces of meat and

476
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: just eating the meat raw, and I want to know,

477
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: is that is that cancer? Okay? Look I'm an oncologist,

478
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 1: I'm not a dietician. Yes, Dr Arline, here, are you

479
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: in the list? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yah, yeah, I put

480
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: it put the hell I'm on the list. You're not.

481
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: You're just gonna not gonna answer my question. Mar I'm

482
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: on the list. It's a stupid question. Frank, Frank, thank

483
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: you so much for hosting us. This is such a

484
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: beautiful dinner party. We're gonna go. It seems like you're

485
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: busy out here. We're gonna go. I just know I

486
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 1: took the turkey I put in my purse. So we'll

487
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: just thank you, thank you. We're going to play celebrity.

488
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 1: We'll we'll see you next time. Tell eleanor we we

489
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: had a great time, and thank you for stay. Stay.

490
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: I'm just dealing with some patience, with some quick questions.

491
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: You didn't answer my question. You didn't answer me. Don't

492
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: much food, don't meat raw, but but it's prepped in cheese.

493
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: Little go, little girl, come, you don't have to stand.

494
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: Stop coming at my Ankles's going on here, grabbing ankles?

495
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: A girl, A little girl. What do you want to

496
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: stay in front of my dad? Get some raw pork.

497
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 1: Somebody's gonna go get Jason Stathum and he will save me. Okay.

498
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: The last place I saw him was at the vape shop.

499
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: At a vape shop, you're right. Next thing you're gonna

500
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: tell me is Eddie is a vade neath Sorry, right

501
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: in this corner smoking Statham, stained Chase, some stathem themselves

502
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: in smoking tweedle dumb Marty Cafald. What's going on with Marty?

503
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: He's coffee, you know? But you know the competition is

504
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: just to see who can end up the most tobacco.

505
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: Is that the competition was? Yeah, I think that's what's happening.

506
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: Usually they make tricks or something, but they just went

507
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 1: to sucking right away. Oh again, so this is just

508
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: the sucking of it. But there's there's different categories for

509
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: different vaporing techniques and skills. Yeah, but I think this fight,

510
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: it seems to be just them inhaling as much and

511
00:33:56,240 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 1: as fast as possible. Every every rule will freeze, freeze.

512
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: Please get me out of this toilet. Shut up. I'd

513
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 1: do as you ask, you would owe the guns and all.

514
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: But I do have a question for you. You what's that?

515
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: Would you like to sit down at noon tomorrow? I

516
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: don't any back up. I don't know what that. I

517
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: don't know what that means kind of back up is requested? Hey,

518
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: Steve Um, I think I might be in danger. I'm

519
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: not maybe saying Larry and the guys glery, Um, yeah, sure,

520
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: we'll sen up on bikes. Hold on, what what was

521
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: the hesitation? What's up? Usually when people ask for back up,

522
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: they know what they want. It's not like usually maybe

523
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 1: send whoever. Yeah, let's what be fair. Just it's a

524
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: weird situation here. Just trust me. Well it looks like

525
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 1: I got three aces. Boys, were just get an alert.

526
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: We're gonna be the backup. We gotta get an our.

527
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,879
Speaker 1: We we're gonna fish the game. And that I got

528
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 1: three aces, the game is finished. Yeah all right, Well, look,

529
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: I don't think we should get into this bullshit about

530
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,400
Speaker 1: the cards. I want to get the money. The money

531
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 1: just as is a good end. But the game is

532
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 1: an end. When you want to be done or when

533
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: you have the money, the game ends when we get

534
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: called to do backup. You're just making this up, man.

535
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: Look all right, Look, we got a job to do,

536
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 1: all right, and more importantly, you're short of me. Who

537
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,320
Speaker 1: shorted me? Right now? Yeah? What fucking job do we have?

538
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: We got out a job. We gotta be back up.

539
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: Looks like one of the guys in the field is needed.

540
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 1: But like why don't you ever come to the field.

541
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: I just work in dispatch because I was I did

542
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: bad shot out on the field, so that I have

543
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: to work in the office. But everybody deserves a second chance.

544
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: Should we still have our hands up? Like? What's going on?

545
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: Shut up? Shut up? Alright, alright, we're just trying to

546
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 1: have a vapop here. Man, do you want a gun sandwich?

547
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:39,160
Speaker 1: You don't have to answer that, mate, and you cover

548
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 1: up and ask you one more time? Would you like

549
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: to sit down tomorrow at night? Definitely? Said everybody. Now

550
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: now now, code to, code to. I don't give a ship. Okay,

551
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: just eat the bird. I'm getting alert. Oh my god,

552
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 1: looks like someone fund Jason Statham and some underground vaping competition.

553
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: This is it, this is our opportunity. Family. Hello, come on,

554
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 1: let's go. That's what we've been trying for. Here we go, baby,

555
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: get your jacket, get your jacket, get your jacket, let's go.

556
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 1: Get somebody's time. What happened? What happened you? Oh my gods,

557
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: you just ocated your ankles. Jesus Christ called you go,

558
00:37:16,239 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 1: you just go. I'm not gonna come with you. I'm

559
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: not gonna go with that baby. I know, Jason, shut up.

560
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: You have to go. Did Callaby? You shut up? Baby?

561
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 1: You're talking to him. He's nice, he listens to me.

562
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, record, I didn't have the choice. I'm tied

563
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: up here with my eyes blindfolded because i'm kiss turned.

564
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 1: Answer that. I can't answer it. Answer it. I'm not

565
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: answer that. I'm not gonna answer. Probably, Jason, you just

566
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,840
Speaker 1: answering Hello, Hello, Okay, right now. It was the force.

567
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: They said, go like Star Wars, the force, the police force. Oh,

568
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: the police, yes, right, Jesus. And hey, when you get back,

569
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 1: we'll talk. You know what I mean. Your bullshit. You

570
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna leave. I know you're gonna ditch out

571
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 1: with Reggie and you're gonna you're gonna leave her daughter

572
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 1: here with her. This is your chance, this is your

573
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,439
Speaker 1: chance to get out of the parking meters redg don't

574
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,720
Speaker 1: look up. Don't look up looking up. My name's Curtis.

575
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: I'm from Life Alert. I'm here to save you. Okay,

576
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: thank you. You're you're in the early stages of cancer. Okay,

577
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 1: you just had a pork burg It was overcooked, um,

578
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: but it was crispy. Oh that sounds awful. I'm gonna

579
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: get you out of here, okay, because you're a meter

580
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: maid and that's not sexy. Oh my god, Hello, Maide

581
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: is in the title People love fucking maids. People love maids. God, Look,

582
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 1: what do you want? You want me to quit my job?

583
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: I want you to even to right your job. I

584
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: am better at my job. Look. I brought a purpin.

585
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: I hugged to purple. Okay, I put him in this

586
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: in the house. I fed him and doesn't feel like

587
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: fate to you. Wow, faith that you took him. You

588
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 1: brought in your own replacement. Wow wow wow wow wow

589
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 1: wow wow wow wow. Truth hurts. Maybe called life alert

590
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 1: for your broken heart? Baby? Okay, wow, you just want

591
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 1: to keep on hurting me. You know what we I'm

592
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 1: gonna take this bag of points and I'm gonna go

593
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: for a walk. I'm gonna take you to your doctor's house.

594
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 1: Do you know where he lives? Yeah, he lives. He

595
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 1: lives seven twelve three Oaks Road. Okay, binging that, yes,

596
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: got it, don't bing it? Wait then, I'm sure it's

597
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: not right. No, I just banged it. It's it's confirmed. Okay.

598
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: How many moms? What what is this? Redg what are

599
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: you doing here? Just set up an appointment with with

600
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: my secretary? No, no, this is this is some an

601
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,239
Speaker 1: abnormal thing I've got. I just got saved by life

602
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: of it and I've got cancer even though you told

603
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: me not to ate. But palk, I'm sorry. Back again

604
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: for redo, but we're just gonna leave. This is I'm

605
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 1: so sorry. Guys. No, no, no, it's a three level

606
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: version of celebrity. You do. You do the full name

607
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 1: that you do, two words you do? It's so fund

608
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: next time. Yeah, what I do is say I'm meeting

609
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: cheese guy. No, no, no, what is it? What is it?

610
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: I put the meat inside the cheese? How do you understand?

611
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 1: And that is seen to everybody who getting it done

612
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:56,879
Speaker 1: for Crispy Ai, I've seen three is from Jake Dear

613
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: Kevin nice and he's nice and he's blah blah blah.

614
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 1: Now that that thought of the way, I have a

615
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: scene suggestion. A failed improv comedian is now an up

616
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: and coming child behavior specialist, currently touring and consulting in

617
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:15,839
Speaker 1: support of their parenting book titled No But in all

618
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: serious uness. Your podcast is my favorite and you have

619
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: done a wonderful job with continuity. In these trying times,

620
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: we need your corner of bi weekly joy more than

621
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: ever now. Thank you, Jake Birch, Missoula, Montana. I'm sorry.

622
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: Please stop asking me for a suggestion. I'm just trying

623
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: to get my kid to have some help. Okay, stop

624
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 1: asking for a one word suggestion. But if you can

625
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: think of any word, what would it be? It's not

626
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: I just want I want Timothy to get the help

627
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: he acts out, and I know it's just something, so

628
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: I don't know a word. Problem. Problem, My child is

629
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: a problem. No, no, no, that's that's just do a

630
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: sentence anything. Let's let me do this. Somebody this, Um,

631
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 1: how do I do this? Uh? Mommy, why are you angry?

632
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: Tell the fellow why you're angry? Thank you, Timothy. I'm

633
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: angry because my son is a bad, bad boy. He's bad,

634
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: he's rude, projecting, and he says that a lot of

635
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: pisces me off. That's a really funny bit, tim Is

636
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 1: that your name? Sure? Tim Timmy's your name? Timothy, tim Timmy, Timothy.

637
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: It feels good coming out of your face. Kid, It's good. Uh,

638
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: just give me humed me for a moment here. No, no,

639
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: you humor me. Here's five bucks, get another pair of

640
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: those shoes and bring me the change. Oh oh, you

641
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: are good, you are good. You know. Um there is

642
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: a local improv theater that I do not get. I'm sorry,

643
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: this is where do not get my son into improv.

644
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: I would rather be murdered in front of him than

645
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 1: for him to do improv comedy. Okay, um, hey man, Look,

646
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: you can't just bring anyone to the chuckle hut. Okay,

647
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: you know this is what do you mean? What do

648
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: I mean? You can't just vouch for somebody. By the way,

649
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: he sounds more like a stand up Oh, come on, everyone,

650
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: just stand up. No, it's not true. Stop smiling. I

651
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: can't stop. Look, man, there's there's auditions, there's teams. You

652
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 1: know how it goes. You can't just of course I

653
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 1: know how it goes. But there's something going on with you,

654
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 1: my man? What's going on? Give me one word? Sketch, sketch.

655
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 1: You're feeling that, huh? You don't feel comfortable. You want

656
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: to write things out more in your life. You want

657
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: to have more of a structure, more of a path

658
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 1: where things are going in the beginning to end. Is

659
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 1: that right? Yeah? Yeah, I want to follow a plot, frankly, Yeah, well,

660
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: plot plot will help you when it's written now. But

661
00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 1: if you're just doing an imprompt too, that's not gonna help. Man.

662
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,680
Speaker 1: You can't control that somebody I'm looking. I'm sorry. I

663
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: don't mean to walk into the chuckle hut, but I'm

664
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: looking for Joey Greer. Where the hell is that? Son

665
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 1: of a gun? Here's the book? No, but before before

666
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,319
Speaker 1: you walk in here, where is he? He's on his

667
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 1: throne as he always is. Okay, and don't just call

668
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: him Joey Career. You better call him sir Joey Greer.

669
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 1: He gets livid, Okay, he's sponsored by Oh yeah, well

670
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 1: I bought his dumb book and now, my kid, he's

671
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: a dangerous society. I followed his instruction. Hey, my man,

672
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: I don't know how to what to do here? All right,

673
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: Like you're giving us a lot of heat. If you

674
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: want to talk to him, you can go on the back,

675
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: go to the throne, all right. I'll look for him.

676
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 1: Who is this? Hello? Tall, dark and handsome that dare

677
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: come near me in my throne? You must be Joey Greer. Yeah,

678
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: well you must pay look tend of Colombo because you

679
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: figured that out it so quick. Listen, I read your book, No,

680
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: but did you? I did? What was your favorite chapter?

681
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 1: I think the whole thing is la la la la la.

682
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 1: What did you say, Mr Greer, I was just child.

683
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 1: I ruined your child? Yeah? Your book? Oh it's what

684
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: was the issue? Exactly? Use your Well. My child was

685
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: a good kid, was a good kid, right, and I

686
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 1: tried to raise him as a single dad. And I

687
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,959
Speaker 1: thought maybe a little bit of help from somebody that's

688
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: trained and has a book, so I picked up No,

689
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: but we kid turned into a monster. And what do

690
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 1: you suppose did you share with him from the book

691
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 1: that might have turned him a little left or right? Well,

692
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: first of all, the no butt part, it made him

693
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: very confrontational. That's terrific. It's just the title. So what

694
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 1: chapter specifically we're looking at? There was a chapter. There

695
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 1: was a chapter about space work. Okay, and he's space

696
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: worked all over. Always reach up, always reach up. That's

697
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 1: the one that gets him. Where what's up there? What's

698
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: up there? Said Mr Career. Look, Laura, I know it's

699
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 1: my weekend to take the boy, but I don't want him.

700
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:29,760
Speaker 1: I don't I don't give a ship. Okay, I don't care.

701
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: I really don't care. I don't care. I don't I

702
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: also don't care. I have not been able to have

703
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: a person over with this boy. He's always barging into

704
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 1: my room. He's always going through my clothes, and I

705
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 1: need some time for myself. Okay, do you understand that

706
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: him give a ship? Okay? You know you used to

707
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: love me, by the way. Yeah, I did when I

708
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 1: was young and dumb. Okay, yeah, yeah, And now look

709
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: at you? What are you? I'm old and smart? All right?

710
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 1: Good Sam? Are we gonna go? Or what I'm parked in? Up?

711
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 1: I'm parked in like a handicapped on loading zone. Are

712
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 1: we gonna go? Is that your new girlfriend? What is

713
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: she eighteen? This time? Nice? Yeah? Actually, yeah, she's eighteen, dabby,

714
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: Spin around, spin around? Look at that? Oh oh, I

715
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,359
Speaker 1: have a very uneven steps outside of my house. Oh

716
00:47:34,400 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 1: my god, hears me. I'm trying to unload a handicapped person.

717
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: Oh that's my car. Move try to unload a handicapped

718
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 1: I gotta go. Look, I get what this is. No, no,

719
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: you walk, you limp yourself. I get what this is.

720
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:55,800
Speaker 1: You miss you missed me. I don't What about anything

721
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: I've said? What about anything I have said? Makes you

722
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,879
Speaker 1: think I miss you? I don't know. Maybe the top

723
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 1: you're working? Sam? Are we gonna go? Or what? Baby? Oh?

724
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 1: What is she? Fifty seven? Yeah? Yeah? Baby? Spin around

725
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 1: for spin around? You got it? Oh? My shoulder, my

726
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: shoulder just oh my trick shoulders just came out? Nice?

727
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: Got nice? What excuse me? I'm trying to pick up

728
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 1: a mobile order. Somebody's in the spot. That's me. So yeah,

729
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,279
Speaker 1: I'm out of here. Good seeing you know you need

730
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 1: to I'm sorry. You need to take our son, Timothy Okay.

731
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: He has behavioral issues, and if he stays with me

732
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,399
Speaker 1: any longer, I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna pop my lid.

733
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pop the top and I'm not going to stop.

734
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: How are you saying? Are we gonna go? Oh? Nice?

735
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 1: What is that? A year old man? Bingo? Hey? Turn around?

736
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: Look at that? Listen? Does our on? Has therapy have

737
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: been working for him? My skin fellow? We need access

738
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: to this fire hydrant. Of course, therapy hasn't been working.

739
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: You recommended me to your pal that you did improv

740
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: with in college. He's a good guy. He's a good guy.

741
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 1: I gotta move my stick that's on that fire hydrant.

742
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 1: And also, don't don't don't say college like that's a

743
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 1: bad thing. You know, short form gets a lot of gough,

744
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: but it's it's can be care. I'm not. I'm not

745
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: mad about the difference that he did short form instead

746
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: of long form. Alright, sport, I've worked a deal and

747
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 1: I've got you go into an improv camp to straighten

748
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: you out. Apparently I was the one that read the

749
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: book wrong. No, but I'll go to an air hockey camp. No,

750
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: you're gonna go to a fucking improv It's it's a

751
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 1: workshop a week long, and you're gonna be studying with

752
00:49:54,960 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 1: pros over there. Okay, No, but I'll work with amateurs. No, No, listen, listen.

753
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 1: I need you to just, for one moment, step out

754
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: of the teachings that I've taught you in the past.

755
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 1: And yes, Anthony here needs you to get in this car. No,

756
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 1: but I'll skateboard down the middle of the street. Okay, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,

757
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: got this, I got this. You can't sit down in

758
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: this car. Um, Well, let me just get a beer

759
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: from my tiny fridge. Okay, you must bring that little

760
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:38,359
Speaker 1: beer into this. I'm taking no, but no, hey, hey, wait,

761
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: want that kid? It's my kids. I don't give a ship.

762
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: But I've never seen this guy before. What what the hell?

763
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 1: They don't? What's going on over here? You just calm down.

764
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 1: This is my kid, right, Okay, this is my kid. No,

765
00:50:53,960 --> 00:51:03,839
Speaker 1: this guy? No, but holy shi kid, kid, listen, here's

766
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 1: a hundred and twenty. Do you live your life anyway

767
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: you want? Wait? Wait wait, I want to add to that.

768
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 1: I want to add to that. No, but your money

769
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,919
Speaker 1: is no good here? No good? Here? Do you mean

770
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: a run? Run away? Here? Go go? But I'll stay

771
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: here all right? I mean I'm not taking care of you.

772
00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if you want to take care of

773
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: you can live with me. You can live with me. No,

774
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,919
Speaker 1: you're not coming with me, buddy? No, No, but don't

775
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 1: you're not kid? Yes, I am by Wait where are

776
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: you going? I'm out of here. Don't wait for your

777
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: hands like you're at a black teck table. I've done. No,

778
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: stop showing me your palms. I don't care. No, this

779
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: kid's yours. Also, somebody called life with that for this

780
00:51:53,200 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: kid's dad I'm sorry, did you say kids dead? Kids? Right? Right? Uh? Hi,

781
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 1: we beat the ship out of some guy who may

782
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: or may not be uh someone's father. Fair. You have

783
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 1: a great day, thank you. Damn that was nice. I

784
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 1: just gave me a little uh like a head's up lunch.

785
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: We're doing all right, We're doing all right. I just said,

786
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 1: I was like, holy should do you see that out there?

787
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:41,720
Speaker 1: It's like it's crazy. What do you look at? Sitting outside?

788
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 1: And it's like all these cop cars and like always

789
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: like fire trucks, just like breaking through all these people's cars.

790
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: And I knew giving the window above the grill was

791
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 1: a misteak. Yeah, it's nice. I get to see like

792
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 1: the city. It's nice. Right. So what do we got

793
00:52:56,880 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 1: for lunch today? Ah? She um, yeah, I know you

794
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: should know that already. That should just trickle off the ton. Well,

795
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 1: it's all veggies. It's just egg plant. Man. I need

796
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: some protein, that's all I know. But that's all we got.

797
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 1: So what's for taco Tuesday today? Egg plant? Okay? All right? Good? Hey,

798
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 1: hey Steve, don't encourage him like that. We can't have

799
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 1: eggplant tacos. What the hell is an eggplant taco I

800
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: don't want to live in a country that considers eggplant

801
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 1: filling for tacos. I mean it really, it's the tortilla

802
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,480
Speaker 1: that makes a taco. You can put anything in there. Okay,

803
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 1: So you want to register your own party for voting,

804
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 1: and your whole platform is eggplants can't be on tacos.

805
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 1: That's all it is. Well, no, there's more to it,

806
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:56,280
Speaker 1: but that's you know, that's I think that's a heading,

807
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,480
Speaker 1: that's a that's an attention grabber. Well look at that

808
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: on a banner. Will you what's your name? My name

809
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 1: is Stoster Stoc. Are you happy with the way things

810
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: are going right now in the government local? Are you

811
00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 1: happy with your options on what the next government might

812
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: look like? No, buddy, right, you're right. Let's join the movement.

813
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 1: I mean, if I honestly, if I had my dream,

814
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 1: let it go, it would be trolls, right, yeah, join us.

815
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: We'll put trolls on the on the on the ballot

816
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: for sure. Ice trolls, cave trolls. I just think of

817
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 1: like they're just like wow, you know, yeah, I don't

818
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: know a damn thing about trolls, but you have I mean,

819
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: sit down, please, let me get it. Let me get

820
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:51,080
Speaker 1: it started. So trolls themselves are believed to be beings

821
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 1: that I'm back, Laura, I miss you. Notice how he

822
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 1: didn't open in the door. You're talking to me through

823
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: the screen. I'm not letting you into my house. I'll

824
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,840
Speaker 1: take the boy now you want to take him? I

825
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 1: don't want to, but I will fine. Okay, Timothy, what

826
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: is that? Come downstairs? Why shut? Your dad is here?

827
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 1: Thank you? Ah? There he is there, he is scaddy.

828
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you in months. I know, I know

829
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:36,799
Speaker 1: I've been Uh what have you been exploring? No, not

830
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,839
Speaker 1: like that, Timothy. He has been having sexual intercourse with

831
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,280
Speaker 1: every shape, size, and age of human being you can imagine.

832
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: And that to him, to your father takes priority over

833
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 1: taking care a form of exploration. That's right. And now

834
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: daddy's very sick. Oh dad, you did you get yourself

835
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: a little something? Yeah, Laura, it ain't it ain't good.

836
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 1: You have an S T I. What is the I

837
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 1: stand for? You're not supposed to say st D anymore

838
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 1: because disease stigmatizes it, so you say infection s t I. Okay,

839
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: it's it's a straight up disease. It's a straight up

840
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: disease infect you thinking a couple of you know, antibiotics.

841
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 1: It's it ain't good. What is it? It's the big one, Sam,

842
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, just alright, somehow you have both an s

843
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:33,359
Speaker 1: t I and an STD. I really have to get

844
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,400
Speaker 1: back to this dinner party. But but just mean, I

845
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 1: want to know did it come from the partners I've

846
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:42,000
Speaker 1: been with or did it come it's actually transmitted about

847
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 1: but a lot of pork? Doctor, doctor did what? Okay? Yeah,

848
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I cut your heir at home. I

849
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: had another question. I just want to run by you

850
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 1: and make sure I'm okay. Okay, we're just gonna leave.

851
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 1: We tried for the third time, but it's so much

852
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 1: on come on, no, no, it's great celebrities in there there,

853
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,360
Speaker 1: heart of mind. We don't mind coming over and then leaving.

854
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:14,440
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the chuckle Hunts. Obviously tonight

855
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: you were all here to bow down before the comedy

856
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: genius of Sir Joey Career. Yes, no, but I'll have to.

857
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: He should, but he has a special he has a

858
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: special guest with him tonight. Somebody who went right through

859
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: the ranks took no class no classes, no rehearsals, no teams.

860
00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: This is his first show. So put together an idea

861
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,120
Speaker 1: of a suggestion in your mind. So ahead, to put

862
00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 1: together an idea of a suggestion in your mind. Because

863
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 1: no regardless. Oh okay, I gotta I gotta guess. Okay,

864
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 1: here they come Joey Green, Sir Joey Greer and guests. Okay, hollo,

865
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm so glad to be here. Where am I? Okay?

866
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: I want to just see you to my special guest first,

867
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: and then I'm gonna go lie down. He's gonna be

868
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 1: out here for twelve minutes. Please welcome Dr Poop. No

869
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 1: one's no one's coming to the stage. What's going on?

870
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is some avant garde shit. I

871
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: like this. Hey, get up there? What go up there? What?

872
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 1: What what are you talking about? Go up there? Go play?

873
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 1: You said Dr Poop is going up there? What I

874
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: go up there? But no one's up there. Maybe he

875
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 1: means anybody can be Dr Poop. Then he would have

876
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:52,080
Speaker 1: said that, why what I assume that make assumptions. That's

877
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 1: a big part of what we do. I know that

878
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 1: I'm just going to go up there. God damn psychologist dude,

879
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 1: I'm just go you know what you're talking about. Okay,

880
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 1: come drink, Actually give me a drink. Hello, Joey's so sorry.

881
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm late. I got held up at a dinner party

882
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 1: at my house. Hey everyone, dr pop what? Sorry? That's

883
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 1: our show for today? What I was wondering what that

884
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 1: doctor's name was. Thank you also very much for being Yeah,

885
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: who would not want to be in the waiting room

886
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: for Dr poop? Christ Offer? Thank you so much for

887
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: joining us today. How is Sunny still a good boy?

888
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 1: Sunny is still a good boy. We gave him my

889
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 1: hair cut this morning. Nice and he looks so cute.

890
00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: If you want to see just how cute, go to

891
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: at Sunny as a good boy on Instagram. Indo Caroline Connor,

892
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 1: thank you. So when does the drive across the country

893
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 1: begin tomorrow? Tomorrow? Is that real? It is real? Five am.

894
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 1: I'm leaving in a car right and you've you've you've

895
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 1: decided to pick people up along the way. Is that

896
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 1: still the plan? Yeah, but nobody has gotten to me

897
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 1: about anything. So let me know. I'm down to make

898
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,400
Speaker 1: it flexible. I'll pick you up wherever you are in

899
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: the US. Just hit me up and The destination, of course,

900
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 1: is beautiful New Jersey. Yes, still, i'll need an address

901
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: in a street name. How's your car? Oh? I brought

902
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: it to the shop, had to pay a big fun

903
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 1: ton of money to get it fixed. So if it

904
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: breaks down, which I think it will, I'm gonna lose

905
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 1: my damn marbles. But that's kind of it. Oh beautiful, Well,

906
01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 1: good luck. Please give us some progress reports if you

907
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 1: don't mind, you got it. I'm getting emails people want

908
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: to absolutely no, James, ZENI thank you so much for

909
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:53,439
Speaker 1: joining us. As always, Where should folks find you? They

910
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 1: can find me at the real James Heeney dot com.

911
01:00:56,840 --> 01:01:00,080
Speaker 1: That's a pretty easy way to find me. I wh

912
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: just rebought the website, so I want to use it.

913
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep you using it. Get a good price.

914
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 1: Uh it's it's bundled with several other websites. Wow, yeah,

915
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: all right, James. Um, I can't wait to hear more

916
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 1: from you about the Patreon roundup and all the exciting things.

917
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 1: We should do it real soon because this is coming

918
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: to a close and I've got a lot of Uh.

919
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 1: I'm doing a lot of college tour shows, but they're

920
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 1: all online and zoom. So I am here, but my

921
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 1: windows are smaller than usual. Oh okay, thanks for the

922
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 1: heads up, greg Kowski. Yes, uh, it's uh. It's been

923
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: political convention week, so I've heard the phrase, uh, drink

924
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 1: the kool Aids tossed her out a lot. Uh. But

925
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 1: and not only is it kind of grotesque to cadre

926
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: up the master suicide of seven Jones, but it's also

927
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:59,919
Speaker 1: not accurate because, of course the Jim Jones masket. People

928
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 1: drink flavor Aid. Are you sure that we're not talking

929
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 1: about the electric kool Aid asset tests? Well, I think

930
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 1: those ideas are somewhat conflated. But I think when people

931
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 1: say drink the kool aid, they're talking about being indoctrinated

932
01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: into a cult rather than to uh have some fantastic

933
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 1: i as to go on a drink, tune in and

934
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 1: drop out. Okay, I didn't know I drink the kool

935
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 1: aid though. And Joseph of German, any any shows or

936
01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:35,360
Speaker 1: sites or anything you want to plug or mention or

937
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 1: give nothing's going on. I'm I'm spiraling out, okay, spiraling

938
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: out dot com. That's it, check out, James Heeney, that's it.

939
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 1: Appreciate that as well all right, Joe, you look a

940
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 1: little strokey. Let's give all our thanks to engineer and

941
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: producing the stars, Mr Dougvaine. Folks that I heart media.

942
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:05,200
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Poll. I love to read your emails.

943
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm a little behind on replying, though, I am keeping

944
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:11,360
Speaker 1: a list, so thanks for your patience. Right to us

945
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 1: at your name here talking to this dot com. Please

946
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 1: wear a mask when you go outdoors and be as

947
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 1: kind to each other as you possibly can. It will help.

948
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:19,760
Speaker 1: Until next time.