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Speaker 1: My ex is pregnant and she's saying I'm the father.

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Speaker 1: She wants my money, but I refuse to give her

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Speaker 1: a penny. Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Kick her kids to the streets, you know, get

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Speaker 2: him out of here, Get them out of here. Why

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Speaker 2: would I need children?

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Speaker 3: Well, exactly, And the streets are the best teacher, so

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Speaker 3: you're actually doing them in a favor. Build character, Build character,

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Speaker 3: not softness, exactly like a Cottonell toilet paper.

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Speaker 2: Jay Z.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, jay Z's a billionaire, now true. He was hitting

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Speaker 3: the streets early in the day, that's right, selling bricks.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't. He wasn't in the live at school off

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Speaker 2: of child support. Exactly. What was the line?

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Speaker 3: I was selling something something CDs, uh, Rocket Chaparral.

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Speaker 2: It's you know, come on, I'm trying. I'm trying to

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Speaker 2: think of you know.

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Speaker 3: The linerhere is like like I was selling selling coke

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Speaker 3: or selling bricks.

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Speaker 2: There's one one.

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Speaker 1: CD or three hundred and sixty pies, No, jay Z,

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Speaker 1: that's a different thing though.

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Speaker 3: Line I probably don't know that one CDs and cocaine.

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Speaker 2: One CD at three hundred and sixty pis.

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Speaker 3: I think it's like a round like I'm a business man.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh yeah, yeah, here we go, there we go. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know kilos of coke, So I'm guessing I can

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Speaker 3: sell CDs.

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Speaker 2: I'm a businessman. Yeah, I hit it, hit it, hit it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know the first part. I know the second part.

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Speaker 3: It goes, it goes. I sold kilos of coke, so

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Speaker 3: I guess I can sell CDs. I'm not a business man.

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Speaker 3: I'm a business man. Let me handle my business.

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Speaker 2: Damn. Yeah, the businessman I knew. Yeah, I didn't know

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Speaker 2: the one before.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, good memories. See I didn't know those first two.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, I guess I'm a rap guy.

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Speaker 1: He's just did an officionado over here, a pure connoisseur.

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Speaker 2: Alright, let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: My ex twenty five female and I twenty seven male,

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Speaker 1: were together for about six months, but during that time

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Speaker 1: we were free to see other people, a recipe for

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Speaker 1: a great relationships were working out, so we broke up.

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Speaker 1: Over a month after that, she finds out she's pregnant

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Speaker 1: and tells me the baby is mine.

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Speaker 2: Yikes, god A love it? Not love that to happen?

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Speaker 1: Nope, but I already knew she was seeing other guys,

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Speaker 1: so it was possible that the baby isn't.

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Speaker 2: This is when you ask for apporternity test. This is fair.

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Speaker 2: When I was like, hey, we have an open relationship,

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Speaker 2: we can sleep with other people. I am pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Let's double check that's what you want to be one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we got want to check your work, you know exactly.

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Speaker 1: She got mad that I was having doubts. But I said,

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Speaker 1: if we got a paternity test and it showed on

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Speaker 1: the dad, then yeah, I will.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent be involved.

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Speaker 1: My ex didn't want that and she'd rather wait until

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Speaker 1: after the baby is born to get a test done.

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Speaker 1: So I said, that's fine if it's her choice, but

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Speaker 1: I won't get involved unless I know that the baby

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Speaker 1: is mine.

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Speaker 2: Let's know in the comments, in the comments. Why, let's

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Speaker 2: know in the comments.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I just didn't realize you could take the opportunity

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Speaker 1: test before the baby's for it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you can, although I think there is like some

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Speaker 3: risks sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I think, right right, ye, now that's ringing a bell,

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Speaker 1: Yeah you can do that yet, right right? I already

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Speaker 1: know I could set up for child support if I

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Speaker 1: started helping out now and then later it's revealed I'm

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Speaker 1: not the father. I live in the US and have

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Speaker 1: heard stuff like this happens, So basically I could set

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Speaker 1: up child for now.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think he's saying like, oh, I could start

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Speaker 3: saving now maybe oh right, yeah, okay, well I mean

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Speaker 3: like maybe just start saving worst case scenario, yeah, just

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Speaker 3: to say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my money. I'd rather not even risk it, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it sounds like he's going down that path. She's

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Speaker 1: about eight months now, and I've started saving up money,

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Speaker 1: reading up on some books, making shopping cart lists of

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Speaker 1: baby clothes and furniture to buy in case I am

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Speaker 1: the father. So it's not like I'm not preparing for

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Speaker 1: this at all. That's cute, that is, you know.

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Speaker 2: Respect.

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Speaker 1: So right now, money is tight with her, since I

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Speaker 1: know she's been only working part time. She doesn't have

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Speaker 1: the money for a baby basinette or clothes because she

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Speaker 1: practically lives paycheck to paycheck. She started asking to let

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Speaker 1: her borrow money for baby stuff, but I've told her no.

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Speaker 2: As far as I know.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't have other family she's close to and friends

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Speaker 1: are the same with her.

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Speaker 3: And so she's not she's not doing the paternity task

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Speaker 3: as maybe like there's risk to the baby possibly, yeah, possibly.

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Speaker 2: There's risks to the baby.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it was Actually I forgot we should we

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Speaker 3: should look that up?

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Speaker 2: Yeap. Wait Ryley, can you look that up?

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Speaker 3: Get on that, Get on that.

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Speaker 2: From her arm like a blood test. Interesting? Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean that's okay, so no risk, So okay, so what Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Why the wait? Well's mama?

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Speaker 3: I mean it is expensive, but honestly, OP should just

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Speaker 3: pay for it. If I was OP, I would just

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Speaker 3: pay for the petrinity test, yeah, and be like, hey,

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Speaker 3: you know, but it's realist really, see.

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Speaker 1: I guess it is being like, Okay, if that's really

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Speaker 1: what you want, I'll wait till the pregnancy, but I

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Speaker 1: won't start any thing and.

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Speaker 3: Sus that she does it seems sus that's that's pretty sus.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I don't know p for staying firm.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but I already said that I'll start giving her

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Speaker 1: money and helping out once I know that the sun

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Speaker 1: is mine. Otherwise I'd rather not get involved.

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Speaker 2: Fair totally, fairly fair.

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Speaker 1: I've even told her to reach out to the other

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Speaker 1: guys who could also be the dad, but she said

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Speaker 1: one is even more broke, and the other she hasn't

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Speaker 1: been able to contact.

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Speaker 3: Well, you can't just choose the one who you've been

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Speaker 3: able to contact and is richest.

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Speaker 2: You know, I was gonna like reach out to the dad,

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Speaker 2: but like he's just bleak, doesn't have the time.

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Speaker 3: You Yeah, you see him like pretty nice guys because

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Speaker 3: it just sounds be your baby.

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Speaker 2: Just take it, just take it, come on, come on.

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Speaker 1: So right now, seems like I'm the only one actually

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Speaker 1: able to offer financial support.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Wow, this is should more and more assessed by

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Speaker 3: the second.

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Speaker 1: We have a couple of mutual friends and I'm getting

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Speaker 1: shit from them because they know that I have the

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Speaker 1: money to help out. She could be the mob of

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Speaker 1: my kid, So the least I could do is provide.

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Speaker 3: They're saying, well, let's see, let's see if she's actually

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Speaker 3: the mother of your child.

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Speaker 2: You know, they say they would if they had the money,

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Speaker 2: then fucking do it.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 2: That is get the fuck out of my face with that.

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Speaker 2: That is so annoying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate, I hate though, Oh like I would

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Speaker 3: if I could. Yeah, well you can't and you won't

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Speaker 3: do or do not?

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Speaker 2: That is it. There is no try. That's right.

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Speaker 1: I would say, yes, they say that since I do

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Speaker 1: have the means and the baby could be mine that

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Speaker 1: I should already be helping. They have a point, the

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Speaker 1: baby could be mine, and I'll be happy to help

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Speaker 1: out once I know he.

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Speaker 2: Is in fact mine. That's a really reasonable request.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but everyone else seeing it as I'm being too

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Speaker 1: cold and inconsiderate. I don't think I am, but I

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Speaker 1: want to know what others believe.

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Speaker 2: So am I the ahole?

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Speaker 3: I want to hear from everyone else. First, Yeah, please

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Speaker 3: come on, you gotta do the paternity test. You have

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Speaker 3: they had an open relationship, that's ridiculous, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Come on, and she's explained that, like, oh, I can't

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Speaker 1: get in contact the other guy's broke.

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Speaker 3: Seems like she's just not getting the tests to string

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Speaker 3: this guy along because she's worried that he might not

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Speaker 3: be the father, because like she she's super fucked.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and right now she was like, okay, wait until

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Speaker 1: the baby's after born. And then she comes back and

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Speaker 1: she's like, hey, just loan me some money for the baby.

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Speaker 3: It's like, I don't know it's my baby, OPI just

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Speaker 3: offered to pay for the test right out. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Then I don't think that's the issue, though. I think

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Speaker 2: she don't.

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Speaker 3: Think it's the issue, but I think like that might

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Speaker 3: get things moving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because earlier what else could there be?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly, because if there's no risk of the baby,

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Speaker 3: probably the only issue is money, and so cover that

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Speaker 3: so you can just you know, be done with it,

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Speaker 3: just know or not, No, wrap it up like you

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Speaker 3: should hike, you should have, but here we are not

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Speaker 3: everyone has the foresight or the foreskin or the foreskin.

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Speaker 2: Sorry guys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well this has been another beautiful episode.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been okay with beautiful Baldi episode. I'm rescovering

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Speaker 3: from my lost love and you know I'm I'm ready

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Speaker 3: to get out there again.

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Speaker 2: We'll have another Australian babe by the next episode.

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Speaker 3: You guys, see is that girl coming in a couple

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Speaker 3: of days. I'm supposed to get rinks with.

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Speaker 2: Week two.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's on Marcel's friend. Actually, there you go, So

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Speaker 3: a mutual connection. Mutual connection. She's in la It.

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Speaker 2: Could happen, could happen. Check in next time to find out.

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Speaker 2: See you guys the next one.

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Speaker 3: I'm in love with you, but that doesn't matter because

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Speaker 3: I'm throwing you in jail.

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Speaker 2: Because you stole fourteenth thousand dollars for me. You can

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Speaker 2: serve it, you know, I mean that is that is

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Speaker 2: a crime, dude, fourteen K what what what's the crime?

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Speaker 3: And like like like it's a felony to steal more

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Speaker 3: than like nine hundred bucks.

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Speaker 2: I heard it's a crime of passion.

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Speaker 3: Hmm, let's make this a crime of passion. That sounds bad, Okay,

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Speaker 3: very good. I'll just get straight to it. I'm a

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Speaker 3: college student and this is my last semester until medical school.

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Speaker 3: Yeah do that doctor shit, bro, Slice those people open,

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Speaker 3: get blood all over your pants, slip it up, become

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Speaker 3: a vampire. I've never been able to get a loan

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Speaker 3: and I've worked five and a half years to get

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Speaker 3: this degree because I have to pay out of pocket,

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Speaker 3: so it takes away longer.

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Speaker 2: Salute. That's freaking hard. That's a lot, man.

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Speaker 3: He's gonna it's gonna be sad when he realizes college

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Speaker 3: is fucking worthless. I've worked two sometimes three jobs at

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Speaker 3: a time and I barely have a social life. Sucks

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Speaker 3: for you, bro, It's gonna be your whole life as

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Speaker 3: a doc.

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Speaker 2: I'm just operating without any friends. God again, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Just imagining like he like fucks up on a surgery

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Speaker 3: and uh he just recreates like a weekend at Bernie's

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Speaker 3: kind of deals like this is.

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Speaker 2: My friend, me his friend, and for.

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Speaker 3: This upcoming semester, I reached my goal for tuition, so

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Speaker 3: I quit one of my jobs so I could relax

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Speaker 3: a bit. Wrong, never relax, always be operating, baby. I

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Speaker 3: was a server bartender at two bars, and an office job,

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Speaker 3: so I always had a little cash hit in my apartment,

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Speaker 3: in my closet in a box. Catch me stealing your shit?

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Speaker 3: Now I know where it is.

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Speaker 2: You mean like this? Yeah? You like that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I hide this in the closet box and

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Speaker 3: then I deposit it every once in a while so

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Speaker 3: I can pay my tuition. My boyfriend sometimes stays over

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Speaker 3: while I'm there or when i'm not. Since I've been

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Speaker 3: saving for this, he's the only one who's been over.

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Speaker 3: Oh really, I've never told him about the box, but

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Speaker 3: he knows I have to pay for school.

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Speaker 2: Damn.

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Speaker 3: Okay, she's setting something up, right, she's setting up a

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Speaker 3: a big buffoonery by this boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Her father stole it, dang, calling it twist.

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Speaker 3: Well, yesterday night I get home to put money in

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Speaker 3: the box because I was a gunna deposit it today.

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Speaker 2: And then I found out it's all gone. No.

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Speaker 3: I freaked out and tore my apartment up, thinking I

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Speaker 3: put it somewhere else, knowing I didn't. I called my

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Speaker 3: boyfriend like crazy and no answer, suspicies. I didn't sleep

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Speaker 3: last night because I was panicking. Then this morning, boyfriend

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Speaker 3: finally calls me back. I'm yelling at him about my money,

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Speaker 3: and he's acting all confused, like I'm crazy. Motherfucker's gas

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Speaker 3: light in her?

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Speaker 2: What money?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 2: I don't know anything about that.

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Speaker 3: He comes over and I'm still pissed off. And then finally,

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Speaker 3: after a while, he admits he took it because he

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Speaker 3: wants to borrow it, and then he'll pay me back.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry, I'll get it back to you.

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Speaker 3: That's how borrowing works. You take first. You take first,

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Speaker 3: then ask for permission later.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, Sam, Sam, can I just have a hundred thousand away?

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Speaker 3: I already heard Johnny can have anything? Yay, take from

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Speaker 3: me all you want? Oh yeah, oh yeah, baby. I

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Speaker 3: was ridiculously surprised. Where the f is he gonna get

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Speaker 3: fourteen thousand dollars in two weeks. I went into a

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Speaker 3: rage and called the police and reported a theft. Because

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Speaker 3: that's what he did. He was thieving. Well, it's been

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Speaker 3: hours now. I guess he got his phone call because

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Speaker 3: his family has been blowing my phone up and his

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Speaker 3: mother has said some really hurtful and racist things to me. Wait,

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Speaker 3: it's a boyfriend got arrested. I guess she did the job. Wow,

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Speaker 3: that was quick.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: They've been harassing me for the past six hours and

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Speaker 3: it's stressing me out even more, and I hate that.

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling bad for him. But he stole my money

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Speaker 3: that I've been saving for months. Literally, his brother did

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Speaker 3: call and he was respectful and said they'll help him

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Speaker 3: pay it back. And I should just go to the

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Speaker 3: police station with him and tell him I want to

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Speaker 3: drop the charges, but I really don't believe them. I

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Speaker 3: could do that and never get my money back. I

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Speaker 3: don't know what to do, and I hate that I'm

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Speaker 3: contemplating doing this and having my boyfriend sent to prison forever.

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Speaker 3: I'm just really pissed off, and I've been crying all freakin' day.

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Speaker 1: I think she should play some mind games, like she'll

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Speaker 1: she'll like I take him to court and then and

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Speaker 1: then be like, will you marry me? And then get

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Speaker 1: married in the court because she's already there. And then

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Speaker 1: she says, I'm divorcing you and taking you for everything.

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Speaker 2: Taking taking half baby. No, no, no, I don't want

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Speaker 2: just for I want all of it. Damn bro, that's

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Speaker 2: the movie.

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Speaker 3: That's how she does it. That's a freakin' uh. That's

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Speaker 3: a chess move right there. That's some forty chess.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: I think, Like, I mean, like one, that's not how

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Speaker 3: you borrow shit. So like boyfriend is totally.

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Speaker 2: In the wrong. Take a little fay.

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Speaker 3: I mean also, like I think what wasn't address is

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Speaker 3: definitely break up with this guy.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love how.

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Speaker 3: It's like all right, Like I feel like the order

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Speaker 3: of operation should have been, like I'm breaking up with you, yes,

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Speaker 3: I'm reporting you to the police. But she just went

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Speaker 3: straight to the reporting the police part. And she admitted

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Speaker 3: in the title like she's still in love with this guy,

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Speaker 3: so like are they still dating? But like she's going

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Speaker 3: to visit him in jail. I'm still dating through the

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Speaker 3: phone call.

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Speaker 2: So let me.

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Speaker 1: Address the elephant in the prison walls, in the cell

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Speaker 1: of the elephant.

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Speaker 2: In the cell.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, well yeah, this is this is just just

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Speaker 3: know the rules of borrowing come yeah yeah,